AEE 2323: How to Talk About Holiday Magic in English

Summary

All Ears English Podcast
Episode 2323: How to Talk About Holiday Magic in English
Release Date: December 17, 2024

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Introduction

In Episode 2323 of the All Ears English Podcast, hosts Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan delve into the enchanting topic of Holiday Magic, specifically addressing how parents can maintain the magic of figures like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy for their children. This episode provides valuable insights for ESL learners aiming to understand and discuss American holiday traditions while enhancing their English proficiency.

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Listener Question: Preserving Holiday Magic

The episode is inspired by a heartfelt listener question from Mai in Japan:

"I'm very curious how children in the US who believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy eventually end up. I have a 9-year-old daughter who recently asked, do Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy really exist. If you could introduce my question on your podcast, could you tell me your experience or any heartwarming story if you have one?"
— Mai, Listener from Japan [04:38]

Lindsay and Michelle emphasize the cultural and linguistic significance of such traditions, especially for bilingual families or those navigating new cultural landscapes.

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Exploring Experiences and Approaches

Hosts’ Personal Experiences

• Lindsay's Revelation: Lindsay shares her personal journey of discovering Santa Claus wasn’t real at the age of nine. She recalls questioning the logistics behind Santa’s chimney entries and global gift distribution, leading to a thoughtful conversation with her mother.

  "I think I was about, like nine. And I sort of, you know, started to ask the more pointed questions."
  — Lindsay McMahon [03:08]

• Michelle's Perspective: Unlike Lindsay, Michelle never had an explicit conversation with her parents about Santa. She indicates that the understanding unfolded naturally during her high school and college years without direct discussions.

  "I have never had a conversation with my parents about Santa not being real."
  — Michelle Kaplan [03:49]

Addressing the Listener’s Question

Michelle, drawing from her experience as a mother of four, provides a nuanced answer to Mai's query. She discusses the balance between preserving magical beliefs and fostering trust with children.

"Santa Claus is part of the magic of Christmas, and Christmas magic can only exist if you believe in it."
— Michelle Kaplan [15:20]

Lindsay commends Michelle's approach, highlighting the importance of maintaining the magic while being honest.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Developmental Stages and Timing

Michelle emphasizes the importance of considering a child's developmental stage when deciding to discuss the reality of Santa and similar figures. Children typically begin to distinguish fact from fiction in early childhood, but the timing varies individually.

"If your child has a reason to have trust issues, if they are questioning whether it's real or not, if they're saying, just tell me."
— Michelle Kaplan [10:00]

2. Impact on Parent-Child Relationship

The hosts explore whether maintaining these myths affects trust between parents and children. Michelle argues that preserving the magic can strengthen relationships if handled thoughtfully, ensuring that children understand the intent behind the traditions.

"It's not something where it's creating this potential loss of trust. We are building trust together."
— Michelle Kaplan [10:37]

3. Fostering a Sense of Awe and Wonder

Lindsay and Michelle discuss how believing in magical figures can inspire awe and creativity in children, contributing to a joyful and imaginative outlook on life.

"If you believe that nothing difficult is possible, then your whole life, maybe you won't try things at work or in life that could have led to great results."
— Michelle Kaplan [12:18]

4. Creating and Maintaining Traditions

Building family traditions around holiday myths like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy can foster lasting memories and a sense of continuity. The hosts highlight the role of traditions in nurturing family bonds and cultural identity.

"If it is about creating memories and family traditions, then that probably will be a net positive."
— Michelle Kaplan [12:50]

5. Cultural Variations in Holiday Myths

Lindsay invites listeners to share their own cultural traditions and magical figures, suggesting a future exploration of diverse myths from around the world.

"What are some of the little white lies that you tell kids to keep things magical?"
— Lindsay McMahon [16:05]

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Practical Tips for Parents

1. Assess Readiness: Evaluate if your child is ready to understand the reality behind holiday myths based on their developmental stage and curiosity.
2. Maintain Trust: Approach the topic with honesty while emphasizing the magical aspects that make traditions special.
3. Encourage Awe: Use the belief in myths as a way to inspire awe and wonder in everyday life.
4. Build Traditions: Create and uphold family traditions that reinforce the joy and magic of the holidays.
5. Cultural Exchange: Share and learn about different cultural traditions to broaden your child’s understanding and appreciation of diverse celebrations.

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Conclusion and Takeaways

Lindsay and Michelle wrap up the episode by encouraging listeners to appreciate the everyday magic in their lives. They stress the importance of being present and recognizing moments of awe to cultivate happiness and fulfillment.

"How many times a day are you kind of just watching things in awe, just watching the world unfold in that way?"
— Lindsay McMahon [17:10]

Additional Resources

For listeners interested in further exploring the topic of holiday magic and creating connections through English, the hosts recommend:

• Episode 1907: Three Ways the Holiday Spirit Can Create Connection in English

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Engage with the Community

Lindsay and Michelle invite listeners to share their own family traditions and cultural myths in the comments on YouTube or Spotify, fostering a global community of learners sharing diverse holiday experiences.

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Final Thoughts

This episode of All Ears English not only addresses a common parental dilemma but also enriches listeners' understanding of cultural practices and language nuances related to holiday traditions. By blending personal anecdotes with practical advice, Lindsay and Michelle provide a comprehensive guide for maintaining holiday magic while fostering meaningful connections.

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For more episodes and resources, visit AllEarsEnglish.com.

Transcript

[A]

This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2323 how to Talk about Holiday Magic in English welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer and machine Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl coming to you from Colorado and New York City, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your 7 day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward/app.

[B]

Warning. This episode is not for younger listeners because today we answer a listener question about how parents can keep holiday magic alive.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Google Gemini. With the Gemini app, you can talk live and have a real time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things like if you want to practice for an upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city, or brainstorm creative ideas. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 + to use Gemini Live. Hello Aubry, Are you excited about the holidays coming up soon?

[B]

I am so excited about the holidays. I know not everyone out there celebrate celebrates Christmas, but there may be some type of holiday you're celebrating soon. It's fun just to get into the holiday spirit.

[A]

Oh, I'm really excited.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just to maybe see family a bit more, maybe just work a little less or slow down, take some days off and just relax. I am super exc.

[B]

So this is a family time, right?

[A]

Yeah, this is what we're getting into today. But we do have a really, really, really important caveat for any of our listeners that happen to be listening today with their children. What is it, Aubry?

[B]

Yes. So some of you have let us know that you listen with your children, which we love. That is awesome. We are going to be talking about Christmas magic and Santa Claus today and it's a message that you might not want very young children to hear. So just a heads up, you may not want to listen to this episode with young children.

[A]

Yeah. But we have 2, 000 plus other episodes. So if you're in that moment where you think you want to turn it off right now, go back to our other episodes. So many options for you. Right.

[B]

And then come back and listen later without the kids because this is going to be a great episode. We don't want you to miss it.

[A]

Yes, but we also. Little.

[B]

Not appropriate for little ears.

[A]

Exactly. Well, let's get into it. Let's ask the big question. Aubrey, can I ask you.

[B]

Well, let me ask you, because my qu. Well, we'll both answer this. I'm gonna ask you first, Lindsay, how did you find out that Santa wasn't real?

[A]

Yeah, I just remember having a conversation with my mom. I think I would. Maybe I was a little on the older side. I think usually first children tend to learn later. Right. I think I was about, like nine. I was, you know, and I. And I sort of, you know, started to question. I started to ask the more pointed questions. Well, how does this work? How exactly does he get down the chimney? And how can he possibly go to all the houses in the whole world? And my mom started saying things like, well, well, what do you think? Like, not in a rude way, kind of more. And she didn't want to say it, you know. Yeah, she wanted to kind of facilitate a space for me, but not tell me the true answer. What about you, Aubrey? Were you, like.

[B]

Sounds like your mom handled it really well. No, I never. I have never had a conversation with my parents about Santa not being real. Like, it. I was high school, college, Santa was still bringing presents. And like, it's like at some point I just knew, but we just never had a conversation. I never asked. It was like, don't ask, don't tell donuts if you believe he will keep bringing you presents.

[A]

That's.

[B]

We just never talked about it.

[A]

Wow, that is. So we all have our own unique experience. I mean, I know for sure if you're a middle child or a third child, you probably learn earlier usually. But in some cases, things aren't talked about in households too. Right.

[B]

And it depends on the child. So I'm going to share sort of what's happened with some of my kids. But first, we want to share this amazing question we got that inspired this episode. Lindsay, can you read this question for us?

[A]

All right, here we go. Absolutely. And just one more caveat. If any of our listeners have joined in recently before we had did our last caveat. If you're listening with a young child, maybe listen to another episode today. All right. And then come back on your own to listen in. Here we go. Hello, everyone. I'm Mai from Japan. I enjoy listening to your podcast and the stories of each host every day. I have a question. I'm very curious how children in the US who believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy eventually end up. I have a 9 year old daughter who recently asked, do, does Santa Claus and the tooth fairy really exist? It is so adorable to watch my daughter believe in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy, but I honestly don't know how to answer the question. This is not a question about English. But if you could introduce my question on your podcast, could you tell me your experience or any heartwarming story if you have one? Oh, that is beautiful.

[B]

It's an amazing question. And it is about English. Right. Because a lot of you are teaching your children to be bilingual or you have immigrated somewhere where your kids are, you know, starting to create their own traditions. You're creating your own family traditions in an English speaking country. And you do need to know, how do I say this? What are the phrases I would use? What are my kids learning at school? It's interesting. There's a lot to think about.

[A]

Oh, 100. And thank you to Mai for asking this question. It's a great question. Before we do get into it, I want to request for our listeners to hit that follow button because we're looking at 20, 25 and we have options. I know for me, the, the pod that I actually follow are the ones that drop into my queue and those are the ones I end up listening to. Right. I don't go searching for others very often.

[B]

Same.

[A]

Yeah. So that's the way to make English a habit and to learn the right values, what we think are the right values around English, which is connection, not perfection. Human connection. Okay, hit follow. Absolutely.

[B]

So hit that follow button, everyone. We love it.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Okay. So I have been asked this question because I have four children.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think I have a good answer. So I'm excited to share. I want you guys to stay to the end to hear a couple of different answers because kids are very different and each parent knows this. If you have more than one child, it's going to work differently. They're going to need maybe a little different answer. But at first I think it's interesting to think about this isn't just about Christmas, Right. There are a lot of things where parents tell little white lies to their children. We have elf on the shelf, which is supposedly a real elf that goes to Santa. And then it moves every night. And we, you know, this is some like kind of a little white light. And then the tooth fairy my pointed out as well, a lot of parents. Hi. You know, the children hide their teeth under the pillow, right. And then it disappears and there's money and the tooth fairy has replaced the tooth. So they're Kind of a lot of lies that we tell children. Right, Lindsay?

[A]

Yeah. Elf in the Shelf I think must be new because my, My niece. Sorry, my niece does that. Or she did. She's. I think she's past that age by now. But. But this must be new because we definitely didn't have elf.

[B]

It's newer. It comes with a book that came out maybe 10 or 15 years ago. Okay. It's been a little while, but newer than when we were little.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

And so there's a little St. Animal elf that you're supposed to bring out on or shows up on December 1st and then, you know, keeps an eye on the kids to make sure they're good, which is kind of creepy.

[A]

Creepy.

[B]

And then moves every morning is in a different spot. But our kids have loved looking for the elf every morning to find out where she has ended up. And it's really hard to remember to move her.

[A]

It's hilarious. They love. They love it. But it is. That's the first thing I thought. Too creepy.

[B]

Kind of creepy. And one more job for parents to have to do. I have to set an alarm in my phone for both the tooth fairy and the Elf on the shelf to remember these things.

[A]

Look at this.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, wow. I love it. So what do we want our listener, my and the rest of our listeners to know then? To go ahead and answer this question. Yeah.

[B]

So her actual question was children who are told these things and who believe these things. Like parents telling how do these kids end up? So I think the question is kind of like, does this affect a person to have their parents lie to them? And so I researched that a little bit. We're going to talk about this a little bit. What factors should you consider when you are telling these little white lives? Like what are the possible consequences?

[A]

Yeah, it makes me think of what is it? Miracle on 34th Street. Where do you remember that movie where the girl was always told that he didn't exist and that was just the parents parenting style. And then some magical things happened in the movie. Right. Do you remember that?

[B]

Yes, yes, vaguely. But yeah, same kind of thing. And almost every Christmas movie does this really well where it's like if people believe then Christmas magic exists. Right. But it's interesting. At least in the US most parents do promote the myth of Santa Claus. Right. Most children accept it as real. You found out at about 9, my twins are 10 and still believe in Santa Claus. But they are right there where you were. They're starting to ask questions. They're starting to hear Other kids at school talk about it not being true.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's interesting. Some families never openly talk about whether Santa is real or not. Like, mine didn't. And some families tell their children quite early. So then it becomes tricky because the kids at school, some of them are like, you know, mocking other students for believing.

[A]

That's too bad. And I think, especially if, like I said earlier, if you're an oldest child, you probably will believe longer because they want to keep it going for your brother or sister, because generally I think siblings would tell each other, and then if you're the younger one, it gets ruined. Pretty young, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, we don't want that. Yeah.

[B]

So we're going to quickly go into a few of the things I researched a little bit online. You've just the sort of the things to consider when you're deciding, should I tell my children this is not true? Like, when can I be how. You know, what age? So first is to consider the developmental stage. And what I found was basically, children are able to distinguish fact from fiction in very early childhood. And. But that this is going to be a very personal thing for each child. If your child has a reason to have trust issues, if they are questioning whether it's real or not, if they're saying, just tell me. Kids at school are. Tell me. Like, then you're going to want to follow your own instincts, but it might be time to just. Just be honest, like your parents were. Lindsay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And maybe like. Like your mom did, instead of outright saying, okay, Santa's not real, she wanted.

[A]

Me to come to the conclusion. Yeah.

[B]

Conclusion yourself? Yes.

[A]

Yeah. My mom actually is a. Was a child psychologist, so she was a child development psychologist, so maybe that's where that came from. So give her a little credit, for sure.

[B]

Yeah, I can see that. And she probably knew that. Just number two here is you want to think about how it could affect a relationship. So for me and allowing my children to still believe Santa has. Exist, exists, there is no effect to the relationship. Right. It's not something where it's creating this potential loss of trust. Right. We are building trust together. And it will be. Once my kids find out, it will be something that they'll see it as like, oh, you know, mom and dad did this in order to make Christmas magical and fun, rather than like, they were trying to deceive us.

[A]

Of course, now that is so important for them to come away with the right message.

[B]

Right, Right. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And then impact of the child. What do we need to know here?

[B]

Yeah. So this is where we get. There are a lot of different opinions, both among child psychologists, among parents. Some will definitely say that like any lying encourages children to be dishonest and think dishonesty is acceptable. Others will say you can help them see the magic of Christmas as different, as like a way to be creative and, you know, just to believe in the impossible. Right. And that, that's a net positive. Positive.

[A]

Yeah. Because some, you know, later in life, some aspects in life do feel magical. Aspects of reality can feel very magical in life. So maybe this is just warming them up to the magic that does exist in life. And so if we look at, if we look for it, you know.

[B]

Exactly. Right. If you believe that nothing difficult is possible, then your whole life, maybe you won't try things at work or in life that could have leaded to. Led to, you know, great results. All right.

[A]

Or even just, you know, looking at just a sunset as magical or child or like the fact that children are born every day is actually magical. Right. There's some true miracles that happen. It's not literally magical, but it feels like a miracle feels that way, you.

[B]

Know, and it feels, you know, you can, you'll get more joy sort of, if you allow it to feel sort of magical, those types of things.

[A]

So it's. Maybe we're trying to foster a sense of awe. Right? Awe. How to inspire awe in children and how to look for it, which is really a foundation of a. Of a happy life, I think.

[B]

Absolutely. And this leads to number four, which is when it's all about creating traditions. If you do build traditions around Elf on the Shelf or Santa Claus or whatever myths you might have in your culture, maybe there are little white lies that you tell children. Children are told in your culture. If it is about creating memories and family traditions, then that probably will be a net positive. And one day, once your kids know the truth behind all these myths, because there are tall tales and myths like think of the Vikings or, you know, a lot of things around all of these traditions that not everything's 100 true. If in the end the goal is to create tradition, then it should be positive.

[A]

Yeah, maybe. And we're doing a lot of other things tradition wise, other than just stuff around Santa Claus. Right. Going to get the tree. If, if you do celebrate Christmas, if it's another tradition that you celebrate, there could be other rituals. Right. But we can build this in a hundred percent. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online, and more personal info in places that could expose you to identity theft. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second. If your identity is stolen, their US based restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed or your money back. Get more holiday fun and less holiday worry with LifeLock. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit LifeLock.com podcast terms apply. Okay, Aubry, so do you have a specific answer here for my. Do you want to directly?

[B]

I wanted to share so I can understand how feel my. It's like I don't know how to answer this question. I'm not sure what the right answer is. And for each child, it's going to be different. I think you'll want to kind of consider everything we've talked about today. But I found when my kids ask, I've said, you know, Santa Claus is part of the magic of Christmas, and Christmas magic can only exist if you believe in it. And so this fits well with what kids hear in a lot of Christmas movies. It also works for the Tooth Fairy to say, you know, the tooth fairy only has magic if you believe in her and then you're not actually lying. And the children, as they get older, like my twins now, it's like I tell them that and you can kind of see something click where they're like, I am choosing to believe because Christmas is more fun if I believe. And it's magical, right? So I'm not saying, yes, it exists. No, it doesn't exist. I'm like, it's only magical if you believe.

[A]

Oh, smart. It's a smart answer, right? I like it. I like it. Yeah.

[B]

And this recently happened too with my son who he has a wiggly tooth and he said, I know the Tooth fairy isn't real. Some. You know, a kid at school told me that and same thing, I said, well, it only, you know, the, the Tooth Fairy won't bring you teeth if you don't believe in her or won't bring you money if you don't believe in her. Right? And he's like, just kidding. I believe. So if you want that magic to continue, you can, but it needs to sort of be like understood by both of you. That's like this is magic that we all choose to believe or say we believe in order to keep the some of the fun in Christmas. Right?

[A]

Oh, that's so fun. I'm curious for our listeners. Well, you know, we have the Tooth Fairy, I guess the Easter Bunny. So of was a thing at some point still.

[B]

Absolutely. It still is for us.

[A]

Help on the shelf and then Santa. But what do people have in other cultures, too? I'm just curious. You know, there must be lots of other things that we could learn about. Guys, leave a comment, you know, on this episode, on YouTube or on Spotify and let us know what traditions you have.

[B]

Super interesting. I want to know about all of those traditions. We're going to have to do something in one of our live speaking events to find out. I think of, I don't know if you ever saw Darby O Gill and the Little People. It was about, like leprechauns and banshees and Ireland, some of their myths and traditions. And I would love to know in every culture. Yeah. What are these myths and what are some of the little white lies that you tell kids to keep things magical?

[A]

Yeah. Such a wonderful question from our listener. Is there another episode where we could continue on with the holiday magic here, Aubrey?

[B]

Yes, you guys. Don't miss episode 1907 right here on the Allers English podcast was three ways the holiday spirit can create connection in English. So go check that one out. As we enter the holidays, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, whatever cel holiday you celebrate, you can connect in English about these celebrations.

[A]

Yeah. And I think a takeaway thought for our listeners who maybe aren't parents and don't think about this dynamic is what is your relation to relationship in the world? To awe. Right. Do you have that sense of awe? Do you take a moment in your daily life to watch the sun? Like this morning when I was just getting out of bed, the sky was totally pink and I looked at it for a minute, I was like, like, wow, that is awesome.

[B]

Magical, right?

[A]

It's such a daily thing, a normal thing. But there's magic in everyday life. And I feel like we can really, truly be present and happier if we pay attention to those things. So ask yourself that question. How many times a day are you kind of just watching things in awe, just watching the world unfold in that way? Right.

[B]

I love that. As a takeaway. Yes. That is so true for all of us. If we're not noticing and experiencing awe, we're missing some very magical moments. So. Yeah. Yeah, notice. Notice those things.

[A]

All right. Great stuff. Thanks for bringing this question to my. And thanks for answering it, Aubrey. It's a good one. Really important. All right, awesome.

[B]

Thanks, Lindsay.

[A]

All right, take care.

[B]

Bye Bye.

[A]

Thanks for listening. To all ears, English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz, go to allearsenglish.com forward/fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit. Subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time. Hey guys, it is Ryan. I'm not sure if you know this about me, but I'm a bit of a fun fanatic when I can. I like to work, but I like fun too. And now I can tell you about my favorite place to have fun. Shamba Cassini. They have hundreds of social casino style games to choose from. With new games released each week, you can play for free. And each day brings a new chance to collect daily bonuses. So join me in the fun. Sign up now at chumbacasino. Com Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary.

[B]

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[A]

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