AEE 2331: A Conversation Starter - How Are Kids Seen Around the World?

Summary

All Ears English Podcast Summary

Episode: AEE 2331: A Conversation Starter - How Are Kids Seen Around the World?
Release Date: December 31, 2024
Hosts: Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan
Downloads: Over 200 million
Audience: Intermediate to advanced ESL learners, professionals, university students, and ESL teachers

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Introduction

In Episode 2331 of the All Ears English Podcast, hosts Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan delve into the intriguing topic of how children are perceived and treated across different cultures. The conversation explores whether kids are seen as children or small adults, highlighting cultural nuances and parenting philosophies worldwide.

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Setting the Stage

The episode begins with Lindsay and Michelle discussing their personal experiences related to children at social gatherings. Lindsay opens with a light-hearted question about setting up a kids' table in her new home, which Michelle relates to from her own experience with her children.

Notable Quote:

Michelle (02:09): "It's actually interesting that you bring that up because even before I was thinking about this episode I was looking for deals on kids tables..."

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Cultural Perspectives on Children

The core of the episode examines the varying cultural attitudes towards children. Lindsay shares her observations from traveling abroad, particularly noting how in Slovenia, children are given more independence compared to the more supervised environment in the US.

Notable Quote:

Lindsay (06:35): "I noticed the stark difference between how watched the kids are in the US versus when I travel abroad."

Michelle adds her perspective on fostering independence in her own children, balancing supervision without being overbearing.

Notable Quote:

Michelle (08:16): "I always try with my kids to give them a little space at the playground. I'm watching them, but I don't... want to do is stand behind them and just say, oh, be careful."

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Values and Parenting Philosophies

The discussion delves deeper into the underlying values that influence parenting styles. Lindsay reflects on how different cultures prioritize traits like independence versus communal learning and shared responsibilities.

Notable Quote:

Lindsay (08:48): "If we go one level deeper into cultural differences, I think the reasons that parents might be more hands-off... they're looking for a different value to build, to foster in their kids."

Michelle discusses educational approaches, referencing Montessori schools as examples of fostering responsibility from a young age.

Notable Quote:

Michelle (09:41): "I once took a tour of a Montessori school... there was like a two-year-old squeegeeing the window of the daycare to clean it. It was so cute."

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Impact on Children’s Development

Lindsay and Michelle explore how these cultural attitudes shape children's behavior and development. They touch on historical shifts within American culture, noting a move from viewing children as small adults to recognizing their unique developmental needs.

Notable Quote:

Lindsay (21:11): "The truth is, though, even within American culture, this has changed. Historically, they have been more considered small adults, and it's just been over the last 30 or 40 years..."

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Practical Vocabulary for Social Settings

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to equipping listeners with relevant vocabulary for social gatherings involving children. Lindsay and Michelle introduce terms such as "kids table," "seating arrangements," and "kids menu," providing context and usage examples.

Key Vocabulary:

• Kids Table: A designated area for children to sit during events.
• Seating Arrangements: The layout of where guests sit at an event.
• Assigned Seats: Pre-determined seating often organized with name cards.
• Kids Menu: A simplified menu designed for children at restaurants.

Notable Quote:

Lindsay (14:02): "The kids table could be a metaphor for how kids are treated in your culture. This is a great conversation starter."

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Role-Play Scenario

To reinforce the vocabulary, Lindsay and Michelle perform a role-play scenario simulating a dinner party where seating arrangements and kids' menus are discussed. This practical demonstration helps listeners understand how to apply the new vocabulary in real-life situations.

Role-Play Highlight:

Michelle (18:21): "Yeah, they're assigned seats. I thought it would be easier to have name cards."

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Conclusion and Takeaways

In wrapping up, the hosts emphasize the importance of understanding cultural differences in child-rearing practices. They encourage listeners to use the discussed vocabulary to foster meaningful conversations about how children are perceived and treated globally.

Notable Quote:

Michelle (21:08): "The takeaway today is we could really talk for a long time about all this. This is just a brief overview..."

Lindsay reiterates the metaphor of the kids' table representing broader societal views on childhood, urging listeners to reflect on their cultural practices and values.

Notable Quote:

Lindsay (21:14): "Are kids kids or are they tiny adults? That would be the way to start this conversation in your culture."

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Additional Resources and Promotions

Throughout the episode, Lindsay and Michelle mention resources such as their mobile app for real-time transcripts and vocabulary lists. They also highlight sponsor segments, including Google Gemini and Dutch Bros, seamlessly integrating these mentions into the conversation without disrupting the content flow.

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Final Thoughts

Episode 2331 of the All Ears English Podcast offers a rich exploration of cultural perspectives on childhood, blending personal anecdotes with educational content. The hosts successfully engage listeners by providing practical vocabulary, real-life applications, and thought-provoking discussions, making it a valuable resource for ESL learners seeking to enhance their conversational skills and cultural understanding.

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Connect with All Ears English:

• Website: allearsenglish.com
• App: Available on iOS and Android
• Social Media: Follow Lindsay and Michelle on their social platforms for updates and community engagement.

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Remember: Connection NOT Perfection! Embrace the journey of learning English by engaging with diverse perspectives and building meaningful connections.

Transcript

[A]

This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2331 a conversation starter how are kids seen around the world? Welcome to the All Ears English podcast. Downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl coming to you from Colorado and New York City, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward/app.

[B]

In your culture, are children seen as children or small adults? This is profoundly different around the world and has changed throughout history. Listen in to get the key vocabulary you need to start this conversation at a party or in life. This episode is brought to you by Google Gemini. With the Gemini app you can talk live and have a real time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things like if you want to practice for an upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city, or brainstorm creative ideas. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 to use Gemini Live.

[A]

Hey there Michelle. How's it going today?

[B]

Good, Lindsay. I am in a new space and we are figuring it out and everything is good.

[A]

Yeah, that's fantastic. You're in your new home. So exciting Michelle, to have a brand new home and decorating and all that good stuff. And I have a question for you though. Will you be setting up a kids table at your new home for the kids?

[B]

It's actually interesting that you bring that up because even before I was thinking about this episode I was looking for deals on kids tables to have something just where my kids can eat and sit. But my son is 6 and he's not into the idea of a kid's table.

[A]

He's.

[B]

He, he looked at it, I showed him the pictures and he said I don't want to sit on that. But my daughter. Yeah, right. My daughter wants it. She's little so where I'm going to buy that. But I mean when you were a kid did at big family functions did. Do you sit at a kid's table or did you sit with the adults?

[A]

No, when I was a kid we didn't have the, the family functions were not so huge that there were other tons of other kids, you know, because we have a small family. So we would maybe go to my grandmother's house and we would all sit together because there was just one additional person at the table. Right, right. Yeah. So that was it. So, no, no big kids table in my world. But we know it is a thing. And this is. I mean, we're going to get into this topic which actually speaks to something much bigger and more significant. Yeah, right, Michelle.

[B]

Exactly. Yeah. So I'm excited about this today. This was inspired by an article I saw. But we'll talk a little bit about the article, but mostly we're going to talk about our own opinions, things we've observed around the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Regarding kids. And also we're going to give you some good vocab.

[A]

Yeah. And the way kids are treated by adults, you know, are they treated as kids or as adults? I think it varies a lot around the world. So first I want to start by saying thank you to Edison Isaac, who gave us a five star review in the Android app. So thank you so much. We love those reviews. If you are listening to this podcast, an Apple Podcast, Spotify, iOS or Android, leave us a review and we'll read your name out loud on the show. All right.

[B]

All right. Thank you so much. And also before we get into it, I wanted to share results from a Spotify poll we did recently. Episode 2311 was how to quote famous animated movies in English. Lindsay, what was the poll for that?

[A]

Yeah, so we talked about animated movies and why they matter matter when we quote them. And the question was, do you like to watch animated movies? Yes or no? And what were the results? Michelle, what is the profile of our audience?

[B]

Yes. You guys love it. So for. Yes, we got 88 and no, only 11. So yes.

[A]

Wow. So people really love animated movies. Interesting. I got it.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Yeah, we get it. We get it.

[B]

All right, guys, so let's get into this topic. So this is from an article on huffpost.com by Taylor Tobin. It was published on November 20, 2024, and it's called Read this. Before you even think about putting someone at the kids table this holiday, there are lots of pros and cons to consider for both the kids and the adults. So very interesting. This kind of, you know, caught my eye.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. So I've had conversations even just in the last few weeks with parents of only children talking about how they brought their kid to maybe a holiday dinner where there were lots of adults and the kid just did great. Right. Talking to adults. So sometimes when there's one child in a family, the child can be a little bit more verbal. Right. Learns to use bigger words because they're basically hanging out with adults, right? Yeah.

[B]

My mom is an only child and she always talks about how she just hung out with adults all the time. So that, that is interesting. I mean the basic idea of this article was people have to decide if kids should have their own table or sit with the adults. So yes, I mean, so I mean as a kid, sometimes there would be a kids table. Sometimes it just depended on the space, how formal was the meal. But as a kid, I don't know how you were. But I always, I liked being with adults. I liked being with my mom's friends. Even to this day I feel very close to my mom's friends. Like they're all other moms to me. And I always interesting. I, I, if, if my mom were to invite me to lunch with her friends now, I would be totally going and I would just be so excited and yeah, so I, I always enjoyed that. What about you? How was your, I think I was.

[A]

A little bit in the middle. I really enjoyed talking to my friends, parents and I could talk to them for sure, but I also just liked it when it was just us kids, you know what I mean? And, and, and we had our own space, that sort of thing. So somewhere in the middle for sure. But in my mind, I love this topic today for our listeners because the table is kind of a metaphor in my mind for life. Right. So I remember traveling in Slovenia just this past September and we went for, we went for our aperol spritzes, right, which is a really common drink in the summer in Ital, Slovenia, Croatia. And we're sitting there and there's a little, you know, it's, it's an outdoor bar with an outdoor, outdoor music, lovely band playing, beautiful summer afternoon and there's a small playground. But what I noticed immediately was there are kids but no adults at the playground. Right? No adults essentially, quote unquote, hovering. Now, not trying to make any judgments. I'm not a parent, but I did notice the stark difference between how watched the kids are in the US versus when I travel abroad. Have you noticed that, Michelle?

[B]

Yes, I have. And I mean I, so you know, as a parent, I, I look over all this information, what you should do, what you shouldn't do, different philosophies on this and that. And I always try with my kids to give them a little space at the playground. I'm watching them, but I don't, I, and if they were going to do anything extremely dangerous of Course I would step in, but what I, I don't want to do is stand behind them and just say, oh, be careful. Oh be careful. Oh be careful.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And my kids are pretty big climbers, I think, because they can, I mean, and they're not afraid. And I do have friends who are very nervous, more so nervous. Even my brother in law sometimes we joke about him because he doesn't have, he's like in his, he just turned 30. And we always joke that he gets so much more nervous than Dan and I because, you know, he's not used to it. So it's just interesting because I want my kids to have that independence and to learn from their own mistakes.

[A]

Yeah, that's. And it's. So if we go one level deeper into cultural differences, I think the reasons that parents might be more hands off, and I love the expression for our listeners, hands off today could be that they're looking for a different value to build, to foster in their kids. Right. I know that the value of independence in the US is so important. Right. And I agree it is so important for a kid to be able to do everything on their own. But I wonder if when I go to a place like Italy and the kids are watched, let's say a little more lightly, similar to what you're saying, Michelle, your style, is it for another value they're looking for in their kids? Is it something other than independence? Is it the freedom of the parents too? Like what, what is it? You know, it's just, oh my God, this is fascinating. Yeah, this, this translates into who our kids become. Right. And who we become as parents. Interesting.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I mean there's all sorts of things in that. I mean in the US there's different styles of child care. So yeah, some schools it's very teacher led and then they said you throw out words like play based. I once took a tour of, have you heard of a Montessori school?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I've heard of that. Right.

[B]

So that's kind of in my, in my understanding one of those where they try and make things the kids like the best size for the kids. They give kids lots of responsibilities and I once took a tour of one and there were, it was the cutest thing. There was like a two year old squeegeeing the window of the daycare to clean it and it was so cute. But I was just thinking how smart that is to give kids responsibility, to give them that chance. I mean even my daughter now, she yells at me when I try and buckle her car Seat. And I could do it so much faster because she wants to do it and she can do it. It's gonna take longer. But I don't want. I want her to know that I believe that she can do it, you know? Yes.

[A]

I love that. That is so interesting. And it's, it kind of makes me think, I wonder what our listeners would say around the world. What is the thing you want your kids to think culturally? What is that value? Like I said, we want our kids here in the US to be able to do it by themselves. Tie your shoes by yourself, do this by yourself. What is that the same around the world? I don't think so. Right. I think it's probably something different. Neither is better or worse. But I'm just curious. Just really evokes that cultural curiosity. Right.

[B]

Is very interesting. And then, you know, at the same token, we want them to do things by themselves, but we also. There is also that hovering. That hovering, you know what you meant, the helicopter parents. Yes, yes. So I mean, with the kids table, you know, the article mentioned, you know, okay, a pro is that kids are on their own. They can feel that independence, be with their friends. But also it said that a pro of being with the adults is you can learn from the adults, that you can learn how to behave at the table, the speaking all sorts of things. So, but, but it, it is interesting how, how cultural this is.

[A]

Yeah. Also in terms of what they're eating. Right. So, you know, they're more likely to be served an adult meal if they're sitting with the adults, I would imagine.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Probably. Maybe therefore expanding their taste buds earlier. You know, if I become a parent in the future, I wonder, will I take the time to make a special kids meal or will I just say, you're eating Brussels sprouts with me. You know, I'm going to chop them up for you, but you're going to eat them.

[B]

Um, in my, in my experience, I had such good intentions and I, I will never, I will never make separate meals for my kids. And then it's just. You go so crazy. You just think.

[A]

And then they're going to be hungry because they don't want the Brussels sprouts. Right.

[B]

Yeah. It's like every, every idea, dream you have of how it's going to be. It's. It may be for the first year or two, but. And then, no, it goes back to.

[A]

The chicken wing or the. What chicken.

[B]

Chicken fingers, tenders.

[A]

But it's a whole another topic. Right. The problems that we have with the food, the Food we have in the US Is so bad, right? The fried food. Maybe there's special organic chicken tenders. I'm not sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But anyway.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we could talk about. I mean, that's a whole. Yeah. Oh, I have so much to say. But okay.

[A]

For sure. So we're going to take a quick break, and then we're going to come back and give our listeners some special vocabulary words that work. Whether you have kids and you're maybe bringing your child to a party, maybe in the US for example, or even if you don't have kids, you'll probably end up at a party with kids. Right. You're an aunt, you're an uncle, you're a friend. You know, we need to know this vocabulary. Okay?

[B]

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[A]

Okay, Michelle, so let's get into some vocab that all of our listeners need to know, whether they're parents or not. All right? Yes.

[B]

All right, so kids table. We've already been talking about that. So, okay, so the kids table is over there and the adults are over here.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And again, we've said that the kids table could be a metaphor for how kids are treated in your culture. And this is a great conversation starter, by the way. If our listeners want to start a conversation with a native speaker or really with anyone from anywhere in the world different from your country, ask them these questions. Really good. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What else?

[B]

Okay, so the next one is seating arrangements. So this is where everybody sits. So you could say, I'm just thinking of seating arrangements for this party. So. And this leads into the next one, actually. So we'll just do it all in one. Assigned seats. Yes. Sometimes I recently I went to a big family dinner and this person always has name cards, which is another vocabulary word for today. Always where everybody should sit it. Are you ever at something where they have name cards?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, when I go to a wedding, definitely there are assigned seats most of the time. Usually the bride and groom have spent like a year thinking about seating assignments, seating charts, things like that. Yeah. Sometimes they'll go to a special party where the host just wants to be more intentional. And so they will assign seats.

[B]

Right, right, exactly. So, yeah, assigned seats. So I don't think I'm going to do assigned seats. Everyone can just sit where they want.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay, so that's one where our listeners might need. If they're going to any kind of party, any kind of event with kids there or not, we need that term. Next one is kids menu. So I'm making a kids menu because I don't think the kids will eat my casserole. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yep. And so often you go to a restaurant in the US and there will be a kid. A kids menu. Usually it's on the back, right at the very end of the menu. Usually it has like three or four items. Mac and cheese, pasta, grilled cheese. All the things I like to eat, you know?

[B]

Yeah, I, well, it's just I remember when my son was a baby, I read somewhere they said, oh, try and go to restaurants that they don't have a typical kids menu and the, the real food is on the kids menu or they don't have a kid's menu. Yeah. And it's just. I loved that idea. And, and sometimes we'll take them to maybe and Indian restaurant or, or another kind of restaurant where there isn't a kids menu. And my son will eat naan and my daughter will eat rice and.

[A]

Right, okay.

[B]

That's all right. But I don't know. I, I. With the kids menu, it is kind of disappointing because they are always just eating the chicken fingers.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. My knees. Oh, my gosh. The amount of the number of times I've seen her order Mac and cheese. And she'll order Mac and cheese on top of pizza. And I tell her, emery, you're doing carbs on carbs there. What are you doing? This is insane.

[B]

That's hilarious. Well, she, she. So my son doesn't like anything with melted cheese, so he hates macaroni and cheese. And with pizza, which we had just last night, we had to. We. Every time we get pizza, we have to scrape the cheese off of it.

[A]

That's. That's just killing the pizza. That's killing the whole point of the pizza. Our listeners are probably freaking out right now. I can't even.

[B]

What a silly man. Yeah.

[A]

All right, and then the last one that our listeners want to know for some kind of event, especially around dinner parties, name cards. So again, when there are assigned seats, you might have a name card, especially in a fancier place like A wedding. Right. For example. Right. Let's put out name cards. We can decorate them, too. Yeah. Interesting. Okay, Michelle, should we roll into a role play here?

[B]

I like that. Yes.

[A]

All right, here we go. So, and again, guys, this is for everyone because no matter what, whether you don't have kids or you do, you're probably going to end up at a party who. Where your friends bring their kids or something like that, right?

[B]

Yes, yes, exactly. Exactly. All right, so here you are. You arrived at my party, my dinner party with your kids.

[A]

Okay, here we go. So where should I sit?

[B]

Okay, so kids are over there.

[A]

Okay, guys, there's the kids table and adults over here. Oh, they're assigned seats.

[B]

Yeah, I thought it would be easier to have name cards.

[A]

Oh, okay, great. What professional seating arrangements.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you. Oh, and on the kids menu tonight is chicken fingers and fries.

[A]

Perfect. That's funny. That's so true. Right? It's so true. But I guess having a kids table, too does let the adults kind of relax for a second, right?

[B]

A little space. Yeah, there's some, there's. There's so many pros and cons and just they're so. Yeah, you. Sometimes you want to sit them, sometimes with them, sometimes you really just want to talk to the adult. So it all depends on the situation.

[A]

Oh, yeah. So many of our listeners are parents, so they know exactly what you're saying, Michelle. So let's break down the vocabulary we used here, and then we'll finish up the episode. So what did we say first, Michelle?

[B]

Okay. So I said, okay. Oh, no, you said, okay, guys, there's the kids table, right?

[A]

So I'm talking to the kids. I'm pointing in the direction of that table. So I'm telling them to go over there. And then I said, oh, they're assigned seats. Right. So I guess I saw something on the table or something. I don't know. Or I just, I didn't know where to sit. So I said, are there assigned seats? Right, right.

[B]

And then I said, yeah, I thought it would just be easier to have name cards.

[A]

And then I said, oh, okay, great. What professional seating arrangements? Now, this is interesting for our listeners here. The way I said this. I want to highlight this as a bonus. And this could actually be another episode. Episode, Another day. I said, oh, okay, great. What professional seating arrangements? I need to make sure we get the right intonation there. Right?

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

What am I saying here?

[B]

You're saying the seating arrangements are very professional.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It makes me think of a Little Red Riding Hood. What Big teeth. You have.

[A]

You have. Right, right, right.

[B]

And it's basically saying, oh, you have big teeth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Big eyes.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's a really important takeaway, not for today, but for another EPIS episode. So, guys, hit the follow button on the podcast. We're coming back to that one for sure. And we'll probably bring in the Red Riding Hood piece as well. Okay, so then what else, Michelle, What'd you say next?

[B]

Okay, then I said, oh, and on the kids menu tonight is chicken fingers and fries.

[A]

Excellent. All right, good. So. So in this episode, we've shown our listeners some key vocabulary that they will hear pretty much if they show up to any party, especially as you get into your 30s, your 40s, your. Your friends have kids, or you're probably an aunt or an uncle. And so this is going to come up. Right. So key. So important to connect at parties.

[B]

Yeah, definitely. And speaking about parties, I mean, we recently had the holidays, so check out episode 23. 23, how to Talk about holiday magic in English.

[A]

All right. Any takeaway today, Michelle, that we should think about?

[B]

The takeaway today is we could really talk for a long time about all this. This stuff. This is just a. And that goes to show you how good this is for connection. It's not just about the kids table, as Lindsay said. It's that metaphor and the philosophies behind how do we treat kids compared to adults. Our kids are kids kids, or are they tiny adults?

[A]

Yes, yes, go ahead, Michelle. Sorry.

[B]

And what I've heard, I. What? No, no, it's what I've heard. Yeah. Every time you think, oh, they're this, they're that, that. Yeah. I remember seeing some Instagram posts that say, oh, no, kids aren't tiny adults. They're kids. They have different brains. Right. So, sure, there's. There's a lot to think about.

[A]

There's a lot there. And I love. I was thinking exactly what that quote, right? Are kids kids or are they tiny adults? Are they small adults? And so that would be the. Essentially some form of. That would be the way to start this conversation in your culture. You know, how do we look at kids? And the. The truth is, though, even within American culture, this has changed. Right. So if you look back, you know, the 1920s, 30s, 40s, 50s, I think maybe historically, they have been more considered small adults. And it's just been over the last, I don't know, maybe 30 or 40 years with research being done and things like that. I mean, my mom was a child psychologist.

[B]

I was just thinking about that.

[A]

Yeah. You know, and so any. And then there's been backlashes against that. There's so much here. So if you do a little reading, start the conversation, we could learn so much and obviously connect.

[B]

Yes, absolutely. I love it. All right. Well, thanks for chatting about this with me, Lindsay, today, and I'll see you next time.

[A]

All right, Take care, Michelle. Bye.

[B]

All right. Bye.

[A]

Thanks for listening. To all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz, go to allearsenglish.com forward/fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.