AEE 2335: Should You Ask Pointed Questions? - All Ears English Podcast

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[00:00]
A
This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2335 should you ask pointed questions? Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz and Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward/app.
[00:58]
B
In today's episode, you learn the difference between pointed questions and direct questions. Plus, we ponder how these kinds of questions might be more or less common across cultures. Listen in today.
[01:17]
A
Would you like to learn natural English for real work situations in 60 days? Even better. Would you like to do it without memorizing textbook phrases, struggling through generic language apps, or sitting in traditional classrooms? If so, then you can save up to $100 off our business English course when you join before January 12th at midnight. Plus you get two free bonuses included this week only. Go to allearsenglish.com business before this offer expires January 12th at midnight. Go to allearsenglish.comb u s I N E S S.
[02:01]
B
Hello, Lindsay, how are you?
[02:03]
A
I'm doing pretty well here. Aubry, how are you doing today?
[02:07]
B
I am great to spend a lot of good family time.
[02:10]
A
Yes.
[02:11]
B
Which that brings up the question that I have for you today because this often happens more, I think, when you're with family and close friends where people know you well. What is the last pointed question you were asked?
[02:24]
A
Oh, yes, on Thanksgiving we were playing a family game. The game is called Vertellis, where we go around. We just, it's very simple. Someone asks you a question usually about your relationship to them. So it's between you and this person. And my stepbrother in law, his question to ask me was, what is a value that we don't share?
[02:43]
B
Oh, that is a very pointed question.
[02:46]
A
Yes. And I was, I was honest and I, you know, it wasn't, I think maybe it came off in a way that he was maybe a little bit confused or maybe a little hurt, unfortunately. But I think it's okay. But it was a very pointed question. Aubry, what about you?
[02:59]
B
Have you been asked a similar game on Thanksgiving? Actually, it's called Scruples, where this is an interesting word, scruples. It's sort of like some people might see something as inappropriate that you don't like. You know, some people might have scruples. This is a little bit of an outdated word. It's actually an outdated game. I think it's from, like the 1970s.
[03:19]
A
Oh, my gosh.
[03:20]
B
But it's still. Still fun. I love it. Some of the questions we have to remove because they're very inappropriate. We're like, wow, this does not fly anymore. But some of them are still interesting. And someone asked me if I'm. If I were sitting in a parked car and someone parked next to me and opened their door into my car. We say. We call that being doored. Like someone doored my car.
[03:39]
A
Yeah.
[03:40]
B
Or dinged, we might say. And it, like, either dented it or removed the paint. Would you get out right away and say something? And I had. I had difficulty answering because I'm very. I'm not confrontational.
[03:52]
A
Non confrontational.
[03:53]
B
Yeah. I guess it would depend on how hard they hit it. I don't know. It's tricky. What would you do, Lindsay? I'm curious.
[04:01]
A
I think if I made eye contact with him, I would have to. And if it were a really strong one, I'd have to get out. But if it were just something small, I might just be like, oh, it could happen to anyone. You know, a tiny thing. I'm not even going to bother to go get the body repainted. It's just a tiny ding. Happens all the time when I'm not in the car.
[04:19]
B
So, yeah, it's tricky because even if you do say something, you're probably not going to ins. Get it fixed. Insist they get it fixed because it's so small. So do you say something? Are really good examples of pointed questions. Yes, we. This came up in a recent episode. 23:23. Lindsay, you said you started asking pointed questions when you were about nine about, like, Santa Claus and the holidays. And I was immediately like, ooh, this is great vocabulary. Pointed questions. So we're going to cover that and a few related terms.
[04:49]
A
Yeah, I'm excited to get into this. We're getting into something that is very high level C1 level, where we kind of show the difference between pointed questions and direct questions. Very specific vocabulary. But aubry, first, I want to remind our listeners, if they love vocab, where should they be listening to this show?
[05:06]
B
Yes, definitely in the app. Right. This is where this pointed questions was really highlighted for me when I was pulling keywords for the app because you can listen along with the transcripts. And we highlight really impressive vocabulary like this that you can Just click and add to your vocab list, study it, remove it. Once you have it updated. It's the best, fastest way to learn vocabulary. So you can go to allersenglish.comapp to download it.
[05:32]
A
Yep, you got it. Seven day free trial. Check it out. You'll have the chance to see the transcripts, tap on keywords, save them to your list, and you can decide if you want to continue on as a premium member. All right.
[05:44]
B
Yes. Awesome. Check it out.
[05:45]
A
All right, Aubrey, let's get into pointed question. I think our listeners are ready to learn a bit more about what this means.
[05:51]
B
Yes. So this is a chunk. If you look up in the dictionary, you're going to see a different definition for just pointed, the adjective, which we'll cover in a minute and then pointed question together. So this is a sharply directed question. So this means you're like intentionally asking a specific person. Not like, oh, I'm just asking anyone.
[06:11]
A
Right.
[06:12]
B
And the, and the other person would find it difficult to answer or maybe be embarrassed by the answer. So this is a very specific type of question.
[06:21]
A
Yeah. So sample sentence here. She asked me a pointed question about my future plans.
[06:26]
B
Okay. Yeah. So that might mean it implies some kind of criticism. I could imagine my mother asking me pointed questions as a college student about my future plans. Right. There's definitely intention behind the question.
[06:39]
A
Oh, for sure. Trying to say something behind the question. Right, right. What else, Aubry, Is there another sample sentence?
[06:45]
B
Yeah, you could say it was a very pointed question and I didn't know how to answer. So this might be. If you're retelling, you're telling a story about someone that asked you a very pointed question and this might, you know, you're telling, you're like, I didn't even know what to say because often that's the case with pointed questions like the one your brother in law asked you. It's like, oh, what do I say? How honest can I be? Is this going to hurt feelings? Yes.
[07:09]
A
Oh my gosh, really intense. But then I, but then we also have direct questions and, and I wonder what is the difference between pointed questions and direct questions?
[07:18]
B
Aubrey? Yeah, And I'm guessing the average. I kind of had to look into this a little bit because I think the average native speaker, if you asked, they would have to think about it and they might even have to look in the dictionary. Right. So direct questions are much more general. This is just a clear and specific question that requires a straightforward response. So for example, if you ask someone, what is your name? What is Your occupation. That's a direct question. Right. It has a very clear, straightforward, expected response, but there's not necessarily that underlying, you know, that it would be difficult to answer or you might be embarrassed by the answer. So not necessarily pointed.
[07:54]
A
Yeah. I think the umbrella term could be direct questions. And because a pointed question is also kind of a direct question. It's just a direct question about something that's a bit more intense or more personal or more intentional point.
[08:09]
B
Yeah. So we could say some direct questions are pointed. Right?
[08:13]
A
Right. And others are more neutral.
[08:14]
B
Right, exactly. Right. Not all direct questions are pointed questions, but all pointed questions are direct questions.
[08:20]
A
Correct?
[08:21]
B
Yes.
[08:21]
A
Love that. Okay, we've got the hierarchy here now. So where do we go from here?
[08:25]
B
So we have a couple examples. You might say, I asked you a direct question. Can you please give me a straight answer? So I have heard this before, especially on like tv. You'll see this if, you know, people are trying to argue but kind of politely, you know, and you've asked someone something and they're, they're be around the bush, they're not being direct with their answer. And this also with like the law in a court case, if someone is not answering directly, an attorney might say this like, you've been asked a direct question. We expect a clear direct answer.
[08:56]
A
Yeah. Or the judge. Right. The judge could, could find a way. I'm not sure what, what techn. Terminology they use there, but yes.
[09:02]
B
They're not going to let people evade. Right. And sort of give a half answer or not be clear.
[09:07]
A
Yeah. Sometimes I wish I could say this to all the politicians on tv. Could you please give me a straight answer? Yes.
[09:13]
B
Debate. And it just, it becomes word salad. You were like, I don't even remember what the question was. Nothing.
[09:19]
A
Anything. Yeah, exactly.
[09:22]
B
That's a good example.
[09:23]
A
And then another sample that date was strange. She kept asking me rapid fire direct questions. I mean, some people just have this personality.
[09:31]
B
Absolutely. But it would, especially if you're not used to it. It might feel strange if they're asking direct question after direct question. And it's not much of a back and forth. And then this adjective rapid fire is interesting. It means, you know, unhesitating rapid, one after another, especially in dialogue. Right. When instead of like taking time to have a back and forth about something, you just ask another question right away.
[09:56]
A
Yeah. I mean, sometimes if our listeners are listening to other podcasts, they might hear they have like a fire round of questions. A lot of shows will do that kind of thing where they just fire six or seven Questions at you, and you're just supposed to answer quickly.
[10:09]
B
They'll do that with guests, Right? Exactly. Yes.
[10:12]
A
That's where that comes from. Rapid fire. Love that. Before we go into number three, I feel like I have to call out how cultural this is, how direct questions are. Its personality. Yes. It could be gender, it could be upbringing, but it's also very cultural.
[10:27]
B
Yes, I agree. Very much so. Right. Some of us are much more direct. Even within the United States, I have met people who are much more direct than others, people who are more likely to ask pointed questions than others. So even within a cult, very much, you know, personality. But I agree. I think there are different cultures that. Where this wouldn't be Val. Or people would try to avoid asking direct questions.
[10:48]
A
I mean, you could argue that on the east coast, the big cities on the east coast, you're more likely to get a direct question than other parts of the country. Right.
[10:55]
B
Within the U.S. definitely. Right. Someone might be really vague. And, you know, I. I use that idiom beating around the bush. That means you're kind of like in a roundabout way, getting to the question you want to ask.
[11:07]
A
Exactly. All right, so number three, let's just take a look at the word pointed as an adjective. So we're going to pull this one out. Yeah. What do we want to know here?
[11:14]
B
And this usually is referring to statements, remarks, or looks. A look can be pointed, and this means expressing criticism in a direct, unambiguous way. So it means it's very clear that there's some kind of criticism intended. And anything can be pointed. Right. Well, I mean, it's usually like remarks or looks, but it can be like an article or a book, like that's statements. It's, you know, these. The. Where there's criticism intended.
[11:41]
A
Got it. So maybe, as you said, a documentary where it's highlighting a. Some kind of a scandal that happened or a phenomenon or something that we should be concerned about in society.
[11:52]
B
Maybe a book, you could say the. This book is appointed look at prison life. And that would definitely imply that it's criticizing the prison system.
[12:02]
A
Yeah. And it's direct. It's directly highlighting the issues. It's not couching anything. It's not. It's not adding humor. Right. I think about Orange is the New Black, that probably wouldn't be as pointed because it is sending a strong message about our prison system. But it's actually also a very funny show and good acting and dramatic and good writing.
[12:22]
B
So maybe you wouldn't say, like, this is a pointed discussion about prison life. Right. No, it's actually a comedy dramedy. Right.
[12:30]
A
And a good one. I would recommend to check out on Netflix. Yeah, it's a great. It's great. Okay. What else? Aubrey? Let's see. She made the point. She made pointed remarks about the need for strict gun laws. Yes.
[12:40]
B
Yeah. I like to hear this a lot with political conversations on the, you know, on the news because that's where we are trying to be more straightforward about the facts. And so if someone, if something is an opinion, right. There's something where their opinion is clearly pointed. That means they are. There's underlying criticism. Yes.
[13:02]
A
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[14:16]
B
I think that's a good question to think about. Right. If you're having a conversation with someone, should you be asking pointed questions for us, for both of us on Thanksgiving, this was an interesting activity for friends and it the conversation really robust and interesting for me. I loved it. But you definitely have to think about the relationship, right. What is appropriate. You don't necessarily want to create awkward situations or hurt connections. So when asking pointed questions, I think there's a lot to think about before you do. Yeah.
[14:45]
A
These games are kind of interesting because they're allowing us an outlet, a container, a way to ask these questions that I think most people would never ask those questions but maybe want to know the answers. They don't know but they maybe don't know how to articulate the question or more likely are to a afraid to ask it because there's a real losing face going on and deeper than face.
[15:03]
B
It's your brother in law never would ask you that. But it's like I pulled this card. I have to ask it. It kind of forces us to have these interesting conversations.
[15:11]
A
Exactly. And I feel like this could maybe be our poll question today. And this could also be a glimpse into cultural differences for our listeners right across the world. Should you ask pointed questions, yes or no?
[15:23]
B
Yes. I love that. Come to Spotify and answer the poll question. You know, whether you listen on Spotify or not, you can come answer our poll. We love to see the. There.
[15:31]
A
Of course. All right, Aubry. Role play time. We are college age and we are.
[15:35]
B
Also sisters, so, yes, it's a little different. We are not ourselves here.
[15:41]
A
Okay, got it, Got it. I have to have a certain accent here or something. Okay. I'm gonna ask you a pretty direct question.
[15:47]
B
Oh, I'm ready. Go for it.
[15:49]
A
Have you called mom recently?
[15:51]
B
Oh, wow. I feel like that's a really pointed question. Did she say something?
[15:56]
A
No, I was just wondering.
[15:58]
B
Okay. I haven't called her in a while. Last time we chatted, she made some very pointed remarks about my dating life.
[16:06]
A
Yeah. I actually had a similar exchange with my brother because I. I was under the impression that my. He wasn't inviting my parents for Thanksgiving because I called my dad and he's like, oh, we have no plans for Thanksgiving. And I was like, oh, that's not okay. So I. I texted him, I said, dad says he doesn't have any Thanksgiving plans. Why not? In big letters.
[16:25]
B
That's a very pointed question.
[16:28]
A
And he said, o. No, it's okay. We just made the plans. So, yes.
[16:32]
B
We're just procrastinating.
[16:33]
A
Yeah. I think, Aubrey, as we get older, sometimes with our siblings. Lightweight, especially as our parents get older, there comes a time for real direct questions to our siblings. Right.
[16:43]
B
Absolutely. It's true. Right. Because if he's like, no, we're not inviting him. Be like, no, that's not okay. That's not okay.
[16:49]
A
I was ready to get on the phone and have a few points here.
[16:53]
B
He will be there.
[16:55]
A
Exactly. So, all right, let's go through the role play.
[16:58]
B
Yeah. So first you used a direct question. You said, well, I'm going to ask you a direct question. You're preparing me here for a pretty serious question. Right. So lots of questions are direct, but we often will say this to let someone know, like, I'm starting a conversation. That it might be a little uncomfortable.
[17:14]
A
Exactly. And then I said, oh, wow. I feel like that's a really pointed question. Yeah.
[17:19]
B
So again, so this is where, you know, you've said, have you called mom recently? And then I'M pointing, I'm calling it for what it is. Right. That there's underlining criticism. Like, I feel like you're criticizing, like you already know that I haven't and you're criticizing me.
[17:33]
A
Exactly. And obviously there's a little something more to maybe they have a. A strained relationship with their mom or something. There's something here as to why that's a pointed question. Because if everything's okay and they're in contact regularly, it wouldn't really be a pointed question.
[17:48]
B
Exactly. There's got to be, say, like, if you haven't talked to your mom in a year, you're going to assume they know that. And that's why I said, oh, that sounds like a pointed question. Did she say something? I'm like, clearly you have information here that you're upset about.
[18:02]
A
Exactly. And then what did you say, Aubry, at the end?
[18:04]
B
Yeah. And I said, well, last time we chatted, she made some very pointed remarks about my dating life. So this is just that adjective, pointed, not pointed questions here. She's made some pointed statements which would imply criticism. Right.
[18:17]
A
And kind of explaining why you haven't really gotten back in touch lately. Right.
[18:21]
B
A little space.
[18:22]
A
A little space. Interesting. All right. I mean, this is really good stuff. This is about human connection right here. Aubry, where should we leave our listeners today?
[18:30]
B
Yeah, so of course, be careful with pointed questions. They can imply criticism. They could hurt a connection. So we do want to think about the relationship and what it is we're talking about. Right. But really good vocab and I think really interesting to think about the difference between pointed questions and direct questions.
[18:48]
A
Yeah. And ask yourself that. This will be our poll, so definitely go and participate in our Spotify poll, everyone. Should you ask a pointed question in your culture? We're making that purposefully very broad. And I know we're not trying to make sweeping generalizations, but about it quick and answer it on the spot, split second. What is your response to that? Right. And we'll see what the results are.
[19:09]
B
Awesome. Very interesting. Thank you, Lindsay. This is a fun conversation.
[19:12]
A
All right, good stuff, Aubrey. You take care. I'll talk to you soon.
[19:15]
B
You too.
[19:15]
A
Bye.
[19:16]
B
Bye.
[19:16]
A
Bye. Thanks for listening. To all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz, go to allearsenglish. Com fluencyscore. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.

Summary5 min read

All Ears English Podcast Episode 2335: Should You Ask Pointed Questions?

Release Date: January 7, 2025
Hosts: Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan
Download Count: Over 200 million downloads

Introduction

In Episode 2335 of the All Ears English Podcast, hosts Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan delve into the nuanced world of questioning in English conversations. The episode, titled "Should You Ask Pointed Questions?", explores the difference between pointed questions and direct questions, examines their usage across different cultures, and provides listeners with practical insights to enhance their English communication skills.

Personal Anecdotes and Definitions

The episode begins with Lindsay sharing a personal experience that sets the stage for the discussion on pointed questions. At [02:23], Lindsay recounts a Thanksgiving family game where her stepbrother-in-law asked her, "What is a value that we don't share?" She reflects, "I was honest, but it might have confused or hurt him a little bit." This example illustrates a pointed question—one that is sharply directed and can be uncomfortable for the respondent.

Michelle follows up by sharing her experience with a similar game called Scruples, where outdated and sometimes inappropriate questions were posed. At [02:43], she mentions being asked, "If you were sitting in a parked car and someone parked next to you and opened their door into your car, would you get out right away and say something?" Lindsay adds at [04:00], "If I made eye contact with him, I would have to. If it were a small ding, I might not bother to fix it."

These anecdotes highlight the personal nature of pointed questions and set the foundation for defining and differentiating them from direct questions.

Defining Pointed vs. Direct Questions

At [05:51], Lindsay introduces the key concepts:

Pointed Questions: Defined by Michelle as "a sharply directed question" that is intentionally aimed at a specific person and often requires a thoughtful or potentially embarrassing response. For example, "She asked me a pointed question about my future plans." indicates underlying criticism or scrutiny.
Direct Questions: Described as "clear and specific questions that require straightforward responses." Examples include "What is your name?" or "What is your occupation?" These do not carry the same emotional weight or potential for discomfort as pointed questions.

Lindsay further clarifies at [08:09], "Some direct questions are pointed, but not all pointed questions are direct." This hierarchy helps listeners understand the subtle differences and appropriate contexts for each type of question.

Examples and Vocabulary Enhancement

The hosts provide various examples to solidify understanding:

Pointed Question Example: Lindsay shares, "I could imagine my mother asking me pointed questions as a college student about my future plans."
Direct Question Example: Michelle mentions, "What is your name? What is your occupation?" These require simple, factual answers without underlying implications.

Additionally, the term "rapid fire" is introduced at [09:31], explaining how rapid-fire direct questions can feel overwhelming, especially in settings like podcasts or interviews where guests are asked multiple quick questions in succession.

At [11:14], the adjective "pointed" is further explored. It refers to statements or remarks that express direct criticism. For instance, "The book is a pointed look at prison life," implies a critical examination of the subject matter.

Cultural Considerations

A significant portion of the discussion, particularly around [10:27], focuses on the cultural aspects of questioning. Lindsay and Michelle acknowledge that the appropriateness and frequency of pointed questions can vary widely across different cultures and even within regions of the United States. For example, people from the East Coast might be more direct compared to those from other parts of the country.

Michelle adds, "Some cultures may avoid direct questions to prevent awkwardness or maintain harmony," highlighting the importance of understanding cultural norms when engaging in conversations.

Role-Play Activity

To provide practical application, Lindsay and Michelle engage in a role-play scenario at [15:35], simulating an interaction between siblings. Lindsay poses a direct question: "Have you called mom recently?" Michelle responds, recognizing it as a pointed question, especially given the context of past interactions and underlying tensions.

This exercise demonstrates how pointed questions can carry significant emotional weight and the importance of handling them thoughtfully to avoid damaging relationships.

Conclusions and Listener Engagement

As the episode wraps up, Lindsay and Michelle emphasize the importance of being mindful when asking pointed questions. They advise listeners to consider the relationship and context before posing such questions, as pointed questions can imply criticism and potentially harm connections.

At [18:29], Lindsay encourages listeners to participate in a Spotify poll: "Should you ask pointed questions in your culture? Yes or No." This engagement invites listeners to reflect on their cultural norms and personal comfort levels regarding pointed questions.

Additionally, the hosts remind listeners about the All Ears English app, which offers real-time transcripts and personalized vocabulary lists to enhance English learning.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

Lindsay McMahon ([02:23]): "What is a value that we don't share?"
Michelle Kaplan ([02:43]): "If you were sitting in a parked car and someone parked next to you and opened their door into your car, would you get out right away and say something?"
Lindsay McMahon ([05:32]): "Seven day free trial. Check it out."
Michelle Kaplan ([06:11]): "Pointed question together. So this is a sharply directed question."
Lindsay McMahon ([09:13]): "Sometimes I wish I could say this to all the politicians on TV. Could you please give me a straight answer?"
Michelle Kaplan ([12:39]): "The judge could find a way."
Lindsay McMahon ([15:22]): "Should you ask pointed questions, yes or no?"

Final Thoughts

Episode 2335 of the All Ears English Podcast offers a deep dive into the mechanics of questioning in English, distinguishing between pointed and direct questions, and exploring their appropriate usage within various cultural contexts. Through personal stories, definitions, examples, and interactive role-play, Lindsay and Michelle provide listeners with valuable tools to navigate complex conversations with confidence and cultural sensitivity.

For more insights and to enhance your English skills, download the All Ears English app and join the community dedicated to learning American English through connection, not perfection.

Thank you for joining us in this detailed exploration of pointed questions. Be sure to participate in the Spotify poll and continue your journey towards fluent, fearless English!

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Transcript105 lines

[00:00]
A
This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2335 should you ask pointed questions? Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz and Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward/app.
[00:58]
B
In today's episode, you learn the difference between pointed questions and direct questions. Plus, we ponder how these kinds of questions might be more or less common across cultures. Listen in today.
[01:17]
A
Would you like to learn natural English for real work situations in 60 days? Even better. Would you like to do it without memorizing textbook phrases, struggling through generic language apps, or sitting in traditional classrooms? If so, then you can save up to $100 off our business English course when you join before January 12th at midnight. Plus you get two free bonuses included this week only. Go to allearsenglish.com business before this offer expires January 12th at midnight. Go to allearsenglish.comb u s I N E S S.
[02:01]
B
Hello, Lindsay, how are you?
[02:03]
A
I'm doing pretty well here. Aubry, how are you doing today?
[02:07]
B
I am great to spend a lot of good family time.
[02:10]
A
Yes.
[02:11]
B
Which that brings up the question that I have for you today because this often happens more, I think, when you're with family and close friends where people know you well. What is the last pointed question you were asked?
[02:24]
A
Oh, yes, on Thanksgiving we were playing a family game. The game is called Vertellis, where we go around. We just, it's very simple. Someone asks you a question usually about your relationship to them. So it's between you and this person. And my stepbrother in law, his question to ask me was, what is a value that we don't share?
[02:43]
B
Oh, that is a very pointed question.
[02:46]
A
Yes. And I was, I was honest and I, you know, it wasn't, I think maybe it came off in a way that he was maybe a little bit confused or maybe a little hurt, unfortunately. But I think it's okay. But it was a very pointed question. Aubry, what about you?
[02:59]
B
Have you been asked a similar game on Thanksgiving? Actually, it's called Scruples, where this is an interesting word, scruples. It's sort of like some people might see something as inappropriate that you don't like. You know, some people might have scruples. This is a little bit of an outdated word. It's actually an outdated game. I think it's from, like the 1970s.
[03:19]
A
Oh, my gosh.
[03:20]
B
But it's still. Still fun. I love it. Some of the questions we have to remove because they're very inappropriate. We're like, wow, this does not fly anymore. But some of them are still interesting. And someone asked me if I'm. If I were sitting in a parked car and someone parked next to me and opened their door into my car. We say. We call that being doored. Like someone doored my car.
[03:39]
A
Yeah.
[03:40]
B
Or dinged, we might say. And it, like, either dented it or removed the paint. Would you get out right away and say something? And I had. I had difficulty answering because I'm very. I'm not confrontational.
[03:52]
A
Non confrontational.
[03:53]
B
Yeah. I guess it would depend on how hard they hit it. I don't know. It's tricky. What would you do, Lindsay? I'm curious.
[04:01]
A
I think if I made eye contact with him, I would have to. And if it were a really strong one, I'd have to get out. But if it were just something small, I might just be like, oh, it could happen to anyone. You know, a tiny thing. I'm not even going to bother to go get the body repainted. It's just a tiny ding. Happens all the time when I'm not in the car.
[04:19]
B
So, yeah, it's tricky because even if you do say something, you're probably not going to ins. Get it fixed. Insist they get it fixed because it's so small. So do you say something? Are really good examples of pointed questions. Yes, we. This came up in a recent episode. 23:23. Lindsay, you said you started asking pointed questions when you were about nine about, like, Santa Claus and the holidays. And I was immediately like, ooh, this is great vocabulary. Pointed questions. So we're going to cover that and a few related terms.
[04:49]
A
Yeah, I'm excited to get into this. We're getting into something that is very high level C1 level, where we kind of show the difference between pointed questions and direct questions. Very specific vocabulary. But aubry, first, I want to remind our listeners, if they love vocab, where should they be listening to this show?
[05:06]
B
Yes, definitely in the app. Right. This is where this pointed questions was really highlighted for me when I was pulling keywords for the app because you can listen along with the transcripts. And we highlight really impressive vocabulary like this that you can Just click and add to your vocab list, study it, remove it. Once you have it updated. It's the best, fastest way to learn vocabulary. So you can go to allersenglish.comapp to download it.
[05:32]
A
Yep, you got it. Seven day free trial. Check it out. You'll have the chance to see the transcripts, tap on keywords, save them to your list, and you can decide if you want to continue on as a premium member. All right.
[05:44]
B
Yes. Awesome. Check it out.
[05:45]
A
All right, Aubrey, let's get into pointed question. I think our listeners are ready to learn a bit more about what this means.
[05:51]
B
Yes. So this is a chunk. If you look up in the dictionary, you're going to see a different definition for just pointed, the adjective, which we'll cover in a minute and then pointed question together. So this is a sharply directed question. So this means you're like intentionally asking a specific person. Not like, oh, I'm just asking anyone.
[06:11]
A
Right.
[06:12]
B
And the, and the other person would find it difficult to answer or maybe be embarrassed by the answer. So this is a very specific type of question.
[06:21]
A
Yeah. So sample sentence here. She asked me a pointed question about my future plans.
[06:26]
B
Okay. Yeah. So that might mean it implies some kind of criticism. I could imagine my mother asking me pointed questions as a college student about my future plans. Right. There's definitely intention behind the question.
[06:39]
A
Oh, for sure. Trying to say something behind the question. Right, right. What else, Aubry, Is there another sample sentence?
[06:45]
B
Yeah, you could say it was a very pointed question and I didn't know how to answer. So this might be. If you're retelling, you're telling a story about someone that asked you a very pointed question and this might, you know, you're telling, you're like, I didn't even know what to say because often that's the case with pointed questions like the one your brother in law asked you. It's like, oh, what do I say? How honest can I be? Is this going to hurt feelings? Yes.
[07:09]
A
Oh my gosh, really intense. But then I, but then we also have direct questions and, and I wonder what is the difference between pointed questions and direct questions?
[07:18]
B
Aubrey? Yeah, And I'm guessing the average. I kind of had to look into this a little bit because I think the average native speaker, if you asked, they would have to think about it and they might even have to look in the dictionary. Right. So direct questions are much more general. This is just a clear and specific question that requires a straightforward response. So for example, if you ask someone, what is your name? What is Your occupation. That's a direct question. Right. It has a very clear, straightforward, expected response, but there's not necessarily that underlying, you know, that it would be difficult to answer or you might be embarrassed by the answer. So not necessarily pointed.
[07:54]
A
Yeah. I think the umbrella term could be direct questions. And because a pointed question is also kind of a direct question. It's just a direct question about something that's a bit more intense or more personal or more intentional point.
[08:09]
B
Yeah. So we could say some direct questions are pointed. Right?
[08:13]
A
Right. And others are more neutral.
[08:14]
B
Right, exactly. Right. Not all direct questions are pointed questions, but all pointed questions are direct questions.
[08:20]
A
Correct?
[08:21]
B
Yes.
[08:21]
A
Love that. Okay, we've got the hierarchy here now. So where do we go from here?
[08:25]
B
So we have a couple examples. You might say, I asked you a direct question. Can you please give me a straight answer? So I have heard this before, especially on like tv. You'll see this if, you know, people are trying to argue but kind of politely, you know, and you've asked someone something and they're, they're be around the bush, they're not being direct with their answer. And this also with like the law in a court case, if someone is not answering directly, an attorney might say this like, you've been asked a direct question. We expect a clear direct answer.
[08:56]
A
Yeah. Or the judge. Right. The judge could, could find a way. I'm not sure what, what techn. Terminology they use there, but yes.
[09:02]
B
They're not going to let people evade. Right. And sort of give a half answer or not be clear.
[09:07]
A
Yeah. Sometimes I wish I could say this to all the politicians on tv. Could you please give me a straight answer? Yes.
[09:13]
B
Debate. And it just, it becomes word salad. You were like, I don't even remember what the question was. Nothing.
[09:19]
A
Anything. Yeah, exactly.
[09:22]
B
That's a good example.
[09:23]
A
And then another sample that date was strange. She kept asking me rapid fire direct questions. I mean, some people just have this personality.
[09:31]
B
Absolutely. But it would, especially if you're not used to it. It might feel strange if they're asking direct question after direct question. And it's not much of a back and forth. And then this adjective rapid fire is interesting. It means, you know, unhesitating rapid, one after another, especially in dialogue. Right. When instead of like taking time to have a back and forth about something, you just ask another question right away.
[09:56]
A
Yeah. I mean, sometimes if our listeners are listening to other podcasts, they might hear they have like a fire round of questions. A lot of shows will do that kind of thing where they just fire six or seven Questions at you, and you're just supposed to answer quickly.
[10:09]
B
They'll do that with guests, Right? Exactly. Yes.
[10:12]
A
That's where that comes from. Rapid fire. Love that. Before we go into number three, I feel like I have to call out how cultural this is, how direct questions are. Its personality. Yes. It could be gender, it could be upbringing, but it's also very cultural.
[10:27]
B
Yes, I agree. Very much so. Right. Some of us are much more direct. Even within the United States, I have met people who are much more direct than others, people who are more likely to ask pointed questions than others. So even within a cult, very much, you know, personality. But I agree. I think there are different cultures that. Where this wouldn't be Val. Or people would try to avoid asking direct questions.
[10:48]
A
I mean, you could argue that on the east coast, the big cities on the east coast, you're more likely to get a direct question than other parts of the country. Right.
[10:55]
B
Within the U.S. definitely. Right. Someone might be really vague. And, you know, I. I use that idiom beating around the bush. That means you're kind of like in a roundabout way, getting to the question you want to ask.
[11:07]
A
Exactly. All right, so number three, let's just take a look at the word pointed as an adjective. So we're going to pull this one out. Yeah. What do we want to know here?
[11:14]
B
And this usually is referring to statements, remarks, or looks. A look can be pointed, and this means expressing criticism in a direct, unambiguous way. So it means it's very clear that there's some kind of criticism intended. And anything can be pointed. Right. Well, I mean, it's usually like remarks or looks, but it can be like an article or a book, like that's statements. It's, you know, these. The. Where there's criticism intended.
[11:41]
A
Got it. So maybe, as you said, a documentary where it's highlighting a. Some kind of a scandal that happened or a phenomenon or something that we should be concerned about in society.
[11:52]
B
Maybe a book, you could say the. This book is appointed look at prison life. And that would definitely imply that it's criticizing the prison system.
[12:02]
A
Yeah. And it's direct. It's directly highlighting the issues. It's not couching anything. It's not. It's not adding humor. Right. I think about Orange is the New Black, that probably wouldn't be as pointed because it is sending a strong message about our prison system. But it's actually also a very funny show and good acting and dramatic and good writing.
[12:22]
B
So maybe you wouldn't say, like, this is a pointed discussion about prison life. Right. No, it's actually a comedy dramedy. Right.
[12:30]
A
And a good one. I would recommend to check out on Netflix. Yeah, it's a great. It's great. Okay. What else? Aubrey? Let's see. She made the point. She made pointed remarks about the need for strict gun laws. Yes.
[12:40]
B
Yeah. I like to hear this a lot with political conversations on the, you know, on the news because that's where we are trying to be more straightforward about the facts. And so if someone, if something is an opinion, right. There's something where their opinion is clearly pointed. That means they are. There's underlying criticism. Yes.
[13:02]
A
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[14:16]
B
I think that's a good question to think about. Right. If you're having a conversation with someone, should you be asking pointed questions for us, for both of us on Thanksgiving, this was an interesting activity for friends and it the conversation really robust and interesting for me. I loved it. But you definitely have to think about the relationship, right. What is appropriate. You don't necessarily want to create awkward situations or hurt connections. So when asking pointed questions, I think there's a lot to think about before you do. Yeah.
[14:45]
A
These games are kind of interesting because they're allowing us an outlet, a container, a way to ask these questions that I think most people would never ask those questions but maybe want to know the answers. They don't know but they maybe don't know how to articulate the question or more likely are to a afraid to ask it because there's a real losing face going on and deeper than face.
[15:03]
B
It's your brother in law never would ask you that. But it's like I pulled this card. I have to ask it. It kind of forces us to have these interesting conversations.
[15:11]
A
Exactly. And I feel like this could maybe be our poll question today. And this could also be a glimpse into cultural differences for our listeners right across the world. Should you ask pointed questions, yes or no?
[15:23]
B
Yes. I love that. Come to Spotify and answer the poll question. You know, whether you listen on Spotify or not, you can come answer our poll. We love to see the. There.
[15:31]
A
Of course. All right, Aubry. Role play time. We are college age and we are.
[15:35]
B
Also sisters, so, yes, it's a little different. We are not ourselves here.
[15:41]
A
Okay, got it, Got it. I have to have a certain accent here or something. Okay. I'm gonna ask you a pretty direct question.
[15:47]
B
Oh, I'm ready. Go for it.
[15:49]
A
Have you called mom recently?
[15:51]
B
Oh, wow. I feel like that's a really pointed question. Did she say something?
[15:56]
A
No, I was just wondering.
[15:58]
B
Okay. I haven't called her in a while. Last time we chatted, she made some very pointed remarks about my dating life.
[16:06]
A
Yeah. I actually had a similar exchange with my brother because I. I was under the impression that my. He wasn't inviting my parents for Thanksgiving because I called my dad and he's like, oh, we have no plans for Thanksgiving. And I was like, oh, that's not okay. So I. I texted him, I said, dad says he doesn't have any Thanksgiving plans. Why not? In big letters.
[16:25]
B
That's a very pointed question.
[16:28]
A
And he said, o. No, it's okay. We just made the plans. So, yes.
[16:32]
B
We're just procrastinating.
[16:33]
A
Yeah. I think, Aubrey, as we get older, sometimes with our siblings. Lightweight, especially as our parents get older, there comes a time for real direct questions to our siblings. Right.
[16:43]
B
Absolutely. It's true. Right. Because if he's like, no, we're not inviting him. Be like, no, that's not okay. That's not okay.
[16:49]
A
I was ready to get on the phone and have a few points here.
[16:53]
B
He will be there.
[16:55]
A
Exactly. So, all right, let's go through the role play.
[16:58]
B
Yeah. So first you used a direct question. You said, well, I'm going to ask you a direct question. You're preparing me here for a pretty serious question. Right. So lots of questions are direct, but we often will say this to let someone know, like, I'm starting a conversation. That it might be a little uncomfortable.
[17:14]
A
Exactly. And then I said, oh, wow. I feel like that's a really pointed question. Yeah.
[17:19]
B
So again, so this is where, you know, you've said, have you called mom recently? And then I'M pointing, I'm calling it for what it is. Right. That there's underlining criticism. Like, I feel like you're criticizing, like you already know that I haven't and you're criticizing me.
[17:33]
A
Exactly. And obviously there's a little something more to maybe they have a. A strained relationship with their mom or something. There's something here as to why that's a pointed question. Because if everything's okay and they're in contact regularly, it wouldn't really be a pointed question.
[17:48]
B
Exactly. There's got to be, say, like, if you haven't talked to your mom in a year, you're going to assume they know that. And that's why I said, oh, that sounds like a pointed question. Did she say something? I'm like, clearly you have information here that you're upset about.
[18:02]
A
Exactly. And then what did you say, Aubry, at the end?
[18:04]
B
Yeah. And I said, well, last time we chatted, she made some very pointed remarks about my dating life. So this is just that adjective, pointed, not pointed questions here. She's made some pointed statements which would imply criticism. Right.
[18:17]
A
And kind of explaining why you haven't really gotten back in touch lately. Right.
[18:21]
B
A little space.
[18:22]
A
A little space. Interesting. All right. I mean, this is really good stuff. This is about human connection right here. Aubry, where should we leave our listeners today?
[18:30]
B
Yeah, so of course, be careful with pointed questions. They can imply criticism. They could hurt a connection. So we do want to think about the relationship and what it is we're talking about. Right. But really good vocab and I think really interesting to think about the difference between pointed questions and direct questions.
[18:48]
A
Yeah. And ask yourself that. This will be our poll, so definitely go and participate in our Spotify poll, everyone. Should you ask a pointed question in your culture? We're making that purposefully very broad. And I know we're not trying to make sweeping generalizations, but about it quick and answer it on the spot, split second. What is your response to that? Right. And we'll see what the results are.
[19:09]
B
Awesome. Very interesting. Thank you, Lindsay. This is a fun conversation.
[19:12]
A
All right, good stuff, Aubrey. You take care. I'll talk to you soon.
[19:15]
B
You too.
[19:15]
A
Bye.
[19:16]
B
Bye.
[19:16]
A
Bye. Thanks for listening. To all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz, go to allearsenglish. Com fluencyscore. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.