AEE 2365: Can You Have Your Cake and Eat It Too?

Summary

All Ears English Podcast – Episode 2365: "Can You Have Your Cake and Eat It Too?"

Hosts: Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan
Release Date: February 27, 2025

In Episode 2365 of the All Ears English Podcast, hosts Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan delve into the popular English idiom, “Have your cake and eat it too.” Aimed at intermediate to advanced English learners, this episode explores the meaning, usage, and nuances of the expression through engaging discussions, relatable examples, and practical applications.

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Understanding the Idiom: "Have Your Cake and Eat It Too"

The episode kicks off with Lindsay and Michelle posing the central question: "Can you have your cake and eat it too?" They unpack the idiom’s meaning, emphasizing that it typically refers to wanting two mutually exclusive benefits simultaneously.

Michelle (02:00):
"What do you think would be a good one to start out with today?"

Lindsay (03:10):
"That expression is have your cake and eat it too. I love this."

Through a light-hearted conversation about their favorite cakes—ranging from lava chocolate cake to traditional wedding cakes—the hosts illustrate the impossibility of retaining something after it has been consumed, mirroring the idiom's essence.

Lindsay (04:06):
"If you finished eating it, you can't also hold it."

They explain that the idiom is often used to highlight unrealistic expectations, where someone seeks to gain multiple advantages without the necessary trade-offs.

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Real-Life Examples of the Idiom

The hosts provide vivid scenarios to demonstrate the idiom’s application:

1. Financial Choices:

   • Michelle (06:44):
     "He wants to pay off his loans and buy expensive clothes. Most of the time you can't do that when you're paying off your student loans."

   Here, the individual desires to eliminate debt while maintaining a lavish lifestyle, illustrating the conflict inherent in the idiom.

2. Dating and Relationships:

   • Lindsay (07:17):
     "She's lonely, but she doesn't want to commit to anyone. She's trying to have her cake and eat it too."

   This example highlights the struggle between the desire for companionship and the reluctance to commit, showing how the idiom applies to personal relationships.

3. Housing in New York City:

   • Michelle (08:14):
     "It's impossible to find a place in New York City that is affordable and also spacious."

   They discuss the challenging housing market in NYC, where finding an apartment that is both affordable and spacious is a rare feat, perfectly encapsulating the idiom.

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Exploring Similar Idioms

To broaden listeners’ understanding, Lindsay and Michelle introduce related expressions:

• "Have something both ways"

  • Michelle (13:37):
    "He wants it both ways, but it's impossible."

• "Can't make an omelette without breaking eggs"

  • Michelle (14:22):
    "You can't make something new without risking what you have."

These idioms echo the same theme of balancing benefits with inevitable compromises, reinforcing the central lesson of the episode.

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Role-Playing Scenarios

To cement the idiom’s usage, the hosts engage in a role-play:

Scenario:
Lindsay is frustrated about finding an affordable, spacious apartment in New York City.

Michelle (15:56):
"You can't have your cake and eat it too."

Lindsay (16:22):
"Maybe consider trying somewhere outside the city in that case."

This interactive segment demonstrates how the idiom can be naturally incorporated into everyday conversations, providing listeners with practical speaking examples.

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Exceptions and Nuances

While the idiom generally implies impossibility, Lindsay and Michelle acknowledge rare exceptions where one might seemingly "have their cake and eat it too." For instance, hybrid job arrangements post-pandemic offer both in-person interaction and remote flexibility.

Michelle (13:28):
"Exactly. So let's talk about some other similar ways or similar ideas that we can express."

This discussion highlights the importance of context and flexibility in language usage, encouraging learners to think critically about when and how to apply idioms appropriately.

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Takeaways and Final Thoughts

In wrapping up, the hosts emphasize prioritizing desires and understanding the necessary trade-offs to achieve realistic goals.

Michelle (19:49):
"Prioritize what you're looking for. Hopefully, you can have your cake and eat it too. But we always have to think about what sacrifices we're willing to make."

Lindsay (20:13):
"When I was living in New York, I think I kind of had my cake and ate it too, Michelle, a little bit."

They encourage listeners to balance ambition with practicality, fostering meaningful connections through shared insights and relatable experiences.

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Community Engagement

Lindsay and Michelle express gratitude towards their listeners and reviewers, fostering a sense of community and encouraging audience interaction.

Michelle (05:29):
"Thank you so much. It really means the world to us."

Listeners are invited to leave reviews and participate in the podcast’s growing community, enhancing the interactive learning environment the hosts strive to create.

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Conclusion

Episode 2365 of the All Ears English Podcast offers a comprehensive exploration of the idiom “have your cake and eat it too,” enriched with practical examples, related expressions, and interactive segments. Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan provide listeners with the tools to understand and apply this idiom effectively, all while fostering a welcoming and engaging learning atmosphere.

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Notable Quotes:

• Lindsay (03:10):
  "That expression is have your cake and eat it too. I love this."

• Michelle (07:42):
  "A commitment. Pho you would say, right?"

• Lindsay (16:22):
  "Maybe consider trying somewhere outside the city in that case."

• Michelle (19:49):
  "Prioritize what you're looking for. Hopefully, you can have your cake and eat it too."

---

For more episodes and to enhance your English learning journey, visit allearsenglish.com and join the community focused on connection, not perfection!

Transcript

[A]

This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2365. Can you have your cake and eat it too? Welcome to the All Ears English podcast. Downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl. Coming to you from Colorado and New York City, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the Allears English app for iOS and Android. Start your 7 day free trial at allearsenglish.com app.

[B]

Sometimes, sometimes in conversations, we need a way to comment on the natural pros and cons of life today. Get one tasty English phrase to comment on this when you speak with native speakers.

[C]

I have a question for you. Does knowing your English level like B1 or B2 matter? The answer, my friends, is yes. You need to know where you are to get to where you're going. So take our free 10 question quiz and find out your English level immediately. With tips on getting to the next level. Go to allearsenglish.comfluencyscore now that's fluency. Score one word. Allearsenglish.comfluencynScore.

[A]

Hello, Michelle, how are you today?

[B]

I'm good, Lindsay. Lindsay, do you like cake?

[A]

Cake? Of course I do. I mean if I had to choose between cake and pie, it would be pie. But I do like cake. I will eat cake. Yes.

[B]

What, what's like your favorite kind of cake?

[A]

Oh, I love a good lava chocolate lava cake. You know, it's nice and rich. Yeah, yeah. What about you?

[B]

That is good. I wasn't even thinking about that one, but yeah, yeah, I would go with that too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think cookies are still my favorite. Over.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I would rather have a.

[A]

Yes. That is the trivia that we know about you, Michelle. It's cookies over ice cream, cookies over cake. But when you think about cake. When I think about cake though, I don't think about lava cake. I think about the traditional like wedding cake, birthday cake, sheet cake. Yeah, for sure.

[B]

What is a sheet cake?

[A]

A sheet cake is kind of just a one layer cake. Right. Kind of looks like it's the size of a pan in a way. And you know, they have it in the grocery store and maybe you have the buttercream frosting hopefully. Right? Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yes, exactly. So today, Lindsay, we are going to be talking about cake because we have a really good expression that we want to Teach our listeners today. I'm excited for this one. Lindsay, do you want to share what it is?

[A]

Yes. That expression is have your cake and eat it too. I love this.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What in the world does this mean, Michelle? I mean, we do hear this out in the world a fair amount, right? So, yeah, yeah, this is a pretty.

[B]

Common one, actually, and it's one of those where it's hard to think of an example of it until you're in the moment. And then.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you know what I mean? We've had, we have something like that where it's just in the moment. It just comes to you. But, yeah, we're gonna help you guys out today. So the. So when you analyze this expression, let's take it, unpack it a little bit. So is it possible to have or hold your cake and eat it and still be holding it after you eat it?

[A]

The weird thing is, I mean, you can hold a piece of cake in a plate, on a plate. Right. And eat it. But I guess if you finish the cake, it's gone. So you're no longer holding the cake. Is that what you're getting at? Kind of.

[B]

Exactly right. If you finished eating it, you can't also hold it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So, okay, this is kind of the essence of this expression. So to have your cake and eat it too is to get two. Two benefits from some things. I have two things at once.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Like you're, you're, you're holding it. I mean, it would be great if there were endless cake if you just finished eating the cake and then magically more cake just popped up in your hand. But, but it doesn't, it doesn't really work that way, I guess, unless you're at some sort of. All right, I won't get into it.

[A]

Unless you're at a wedding, I guess. At a wedding. At a wedding, pieces of cake. Sure. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

So, but it's just about getting two benefits from something. And generally we use it in a negative way of you can't have your cake and eat it too. Or maybe someone wants to have their cake and eat it too. And we don't really use this in a way of, oh, yeah, have your cake and eat it too. Right?

[A]

Yeah. No, this is used to call people out. Right. To call people out and say, oh, you're trying to get double benefits when you can only get one of those things. Right. So this is used in social commentary, poking fun at someone or pushing someone back a little bit. Right, Right.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. So we're going to get more into it and give you a bunch of examples coming up. But before we do that, Lindsay, we want to say thank you so much to our reviewers.

[A]

Yes, guys, we love these reviews and they matter to us. We read every single review and we look for them. We want to know what you think about the show. So I want to say thank you to Sek Kh from the US reviewed us on January 30th and thank you to someone in Korea on January 30th. Also a five review and another five star review from Jian Zhang on January 27th. A huge thank you to these three listeners. Amazing.

[B]

Thank you so much. It really means the world to us. So yeah, guys, definitely, guys, if you haven't read, if you haven't left us a review, please leave a review for the show and we will probably be reading your name on the show as well to give you a shout out.

[A]

You got it. So go leave that review wherever you listen. Apple podcasts in the iOS or Android app or Spotify. Leave your your review. So Michelle, let's give our listeners some very clear scenarios when we would say this. What do we think would be a good one to start out with today?

[B]

I think purchasing something. So maybe trying to save for something but also spending money on something expensive. So he has such expensive taste, but he has a ton of loans from law school. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Pay off his loans and buy expensive clothes.

[A]

Yeah. And we wouldn't always necessarily reiterate what the cake, you know, what the eating the cake and having the cake is. Right. But in this case we've done that.

[B]

For just a good example.

[A]

Really clear.

[B]

You're right. You're right. Usually it's kind of implied. Right? I already mentioned the two things, but for teaching purposes. Yes, yes, good point, Lindsay.

[A]

Yes. So I love that example. So he wants to pay off his loans and buy expensive clothes. Most of the time you can't do that when you're paying off your student loans. You need to save money, right? Yeah, for sure.

[B]

What's another example?

[A]

Well, the dating world, right. We're always kind of, you know, when we're in our 20s or 30s and we're dating, we're commenting on our friends dating situations. Okay. Finding a boyfriend or girlfriend but not wanting to commit. She's lonely, but she doesn't want to commit to anyone. She's trying to have her cake and eat it too. But she's starting to realize it doesn't really work as well without the commitment. Oh, reality check. Right.

[B]

A commitment. Pho you would say, right? So somebody, they, they are lonely, they want to find somebody, but they can't. They're. They're not ready to commit.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. No, this is true. I mean, that's a thing. For sure. Wanting both things. Kind of wanting the upside of both sides.

[B]

Right, right. Yep, yep, yep. Exactly. Or living situations. So this is a. I mean, this is a good example. I mean, you can't have your cake and eat it too. It's impossible to find a place in New York City that is affordable and also spacious.

[A]

Oh, and I would totally attest to that, Michelle. 100. And you would too, right? It's just, it doesn't exist. There's just no way. It's so funny, Michelle. After living, having lived in New York, everywhere I go, anywhere in Denver, or if I'm, if I rent an Airbnb somewhere random, I will go around that house and I will identify places that in my head could be rented. Like a large closet. I'll say, oh, this could be a room you could rent in New York.

[B]

That's so funny. I do the same thing. I do the same thing. It's. Yeah, that's really funny because we have like in my old apartment, we had a closet and we would say, oh, this could be a bedroom. Or, or even now where I am, we have. There's a walk in closet and. Oh, we would have put a whole bedroom in New York.

[A]

Yep. This is a weird way of thinking that I think only people who have ever lived in New York think that way, but they think that way for the rest of their lives. Even if they live in a place with a ton of space.

[B]

Because.

[A]

Just because it's so formative. Right. Your experience living in New York, I mean, I know I had two roommates, two or three roommates in a, in a, like a three bedroom or two and a half bedroom. It was so tight. Right.

[B]

I mean, I had five.

[A]

Yeah. That's insane. Right? But that's what you do in New York. You take small spaces and you rent them. You find a way to make money to subsidize your rent by bringing in another roommate. It's so crazy. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

So you're trying to almost find ways to have your cake and eat it too, but pretty, pretty tricky.

[A]

Well, New York changes you forever, Michelle.

[B]

That's true.

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[B]

All right, we are back.

[A]

So, Michelle, any thoughts here? Anything else? What else do we have here?

[B]

Okay. Well, do you think sometimes it is possible for someone to have their cake and eat it too? Like, is. Does this ever work? Can you think of a time? Because it's hard for me to think of one even.

[A]

Yeah, I don't. I think generally it's a law of gravity kind of. Right? It's a law of gravity. We can't really have the upside of both things. I. I think sometimes at the end of people's lives, if they've worked really hard, maybe they've built something that they're able to enjoy. They may be able to get a lot of positives out of that thing, but usually there's a downside, right? Usually it's a give and take. There's pros and cons of everything. What do you think, Michelle?

[B]

Yeah, I think. I think it's pretty rare if you are in a situation where you are having your cake and eating it too, you're. You've gotten lucky in some way. There's something. Something really worked out for yourself. And if so, if you find yourself in this situation, you could say something like, oh my gosh, I'm having my cake and eating it too, right? You could kind of comment on it in a humorous way.

[A]

Yeah, I'm thinking of a situation nowadays actually. Maybe if you're in a hybrid job situation where, you know, people want community, right? At work, they want in person, they want that, you know, contact. But then they also want extreme flexibility. And that's pretty hard to find if you're being asked to go to an office. You know, it's harder to have that flexibility you want. It's harder to leave the office when you want and do what you want to do. But nowadays a lot of people have hybrid jobs where maybe two days a week they're going into the office, they're getting the face time that they need, the connection, and then the three days they're getting to work from home so they can do what they need to do throughout the day. So maybe that actually is, that is.

[B]

A good, that's a, that's a perfect example of when somebody can have their cake and eat it, too. If you have one of those flexible kinds of jobs, but you still get to go in and see people and socialize a little bit.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, so post pandemic, that's kind of what a lot of people have now. So maybe, maybe that's an exception to the law. Right to the rule, maybe. Y.

[B]

Exactly. So let's talk about some other similar ways or similar ideas that we can express. So the first one is to have something both ways.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. He wants it both ways, but it's impossible. He can't avoid doing tasks at work and then expect his co workers to respect him.

[A]

He can't avoid doing tasks at work and then. Yeah, so he's kind of like just doing little things. Taking orders, you mean, Is that what you mean here with this?

[B]

Right, exactly. Like, he's, he's trying to get double benefits, but he can't. His co workers aren't going to respect him.

[A]

Oh. If he doesn't do the work. I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense.

[B]

Yeah. Right, right, right.

[A]

Okay, here's another one. You can't.

[B]

Sorry, sorry. I just wanted to make sure. No, I, I, I was looking up examples and I found this. You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. Have you heard this?

[A]

Yeah, I haven't, but it makes sense. I mean, it makes sense, right? You can't, it's this idea of you can't make something new without risking what you have in a sense.

[B]

Right, right, right, exactly. We can. Guys, sometimes you can see an idiom. You don't know what it means, but you can kind of try and work it out. And that's actually a really good exercise, I think.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For our students. Take an idiom and try and unpack it and then look up the definition and see okay, well, why. Why do we have that idiom? Right.

[A]

Yeah. And here's a sample sentence. Her industry is cutthroat, and she isn't quite a cutthroat person. What she doesn't understand is you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. Oh, okay. So we're saying she's gonna have to become a bit of a different person to succeed in her industry. Kind of.

[B]

Yep, yep.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, Lindsay, why is this good for connection? I mean, what could we use it for?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, I think it's kind of. It's good to sort of acknowledge realities of the world and of nature. Right. There are certain. Everything has pros and cons. For any good, let's say work situation or living situation, there's going to be some kind of a pro. Right. So we can't have it both ways. We can't have our cake and eat it too. It's just a. Of commenting on the world in a sense. Right. Which I like that for connection. Yeah.

[B]

Right. Yeah. All right, so should we do a role play?

[A]

Let's do it, Michelle. So here we are, friends at lunch. Okay. Okay. Oh, I'm just so frustrated. I can't find a big enough apartment.

[B]

Oh, I know. That's tough. Well, what are you looking for?

[A]

I mean, I just want a place with a nice outdoor area and a laundry machine in the apartment. And it has to be under 1500amonth.

[B]

Wow, Lindsay, that's not very much for New York. You might have to make a sacrifice on one of those. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

[A]

Well, it has to be out there somewhere. I know people say it's impossible, but I think I can have it both ways.

[B]

Well, you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. Maybe consider trying somewhere outside the city in that case.

[A]

Maybe. Yeah, good luck with that. Right. Outdoor area, laundry machine. I think in New York, even. I'm not sure about super high end apartment buildings with supers and that kind of. With doormen. But a lot of apartment buildings do have ex. Like you have to bring your laundry out. You have to go to the laundromat. Right. Was that your experience?

[B]

I did have a laundry room. A public laundry. I mean, not public, but for the apartment building. There was one in the basement.

[A]

Lucky duck.

[B]

Yeah, so. So I did have that. So that was one. One perk of my building. But that is. And you're not gonna find it in your actual unit.

[A]

No way. Not in New York. No. There's a lot of sacrifices, but hey, it's a great city, right?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

All right, so what was the first. So what did I say first, Michelle, with. Can't have your cake. What did I say?

[B]

Well, I, you, you were going over all the things you wanted and I said, you have to sacrifice. You can't have your cake in eat it too. So you can't live in New York and have all of these things.

[A]

Right. You can't have a nice outdoor area and a laundry machine and have it be under $1,500 a month. Unlikely. Right. And then I said, it has to be out there somewhere. And when I say it, what am I saying? It is it the.

[B]

This apartment, this magical apartment.

[A]

I know people say it's impossible, but I think I can have this both ways. So I'm very determined that I could find this. Yes, yes.

[B]

And then I said, well, you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. And I want to make sure our listeners understand this one is not common. I actually didn't know this one. So. So this is more kind of a fun one I threw in. But I wouldn't put that at the top of the list of the expressions you tried and use.

[A]

Yeah, I would agree. Yeah, that one's new to me today, too, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think have your cake. You need it, too. If you can start with that. That. If that's what our listeners can come away with today. That's fant. Fantastic. Right?

[B]

Great.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was living in New York, I had. I think I kind of had my cake and ate it too, Michelle, A little bit. I had an apartment. I think it was about sixteen hundred dollars a month. It was a one bedroom, but we made it a two bedroom. But it was right near Central Park. I mean, it was pretty good. But this was 2006. It was still a good price for that time, though. Maybe the key was it was on the Upper east side and people don't like the Upper east side. It's not as desirable.

[B]

I think it became more desirable. Did it? Upper east side became. Yeah, it kind of had a. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Miss that.

[B]

Yeah, I think. I think so.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Yeah, my rent. Yeah, I, I don't even know what my rent was because it was five bedrooms, but mine was the fake room and. Oh yeah, I don't, I don't even remember it's been so long, but it was certainly. I'm sure now it would be way more expensive.

[A]

Yeah. Well, shout out to our listeners who are currently living in New York. I'm sure many of you are in doing this, but it's worth it, you know, it really is worth it because it's such an incredible city. Michelle, is there another episode we should check out here?

[B]

Yep. Guys, head on over. We did episode 2358 was English vocabulary is tricky. You're telling me. I think that's an episode you did with Aubrey.

[A]

I love that. Any final takeaway for our listeners today?

[B]

I guess prioritize what you're looking for. Right? Hopefully. Hopefully you can have your cake and eat it, too. But we always have to think about what sacrifices we're willing to make. What's our number one desire? What are we looking for in a situation? And I think if we have that in line, then we can get through things a lot in a lot easier way. But at the same time, don't give up on your dreams. You never know.

[A]

Love it. So good. Michelle, thanks for being on the mic today and I will see you very soon. All right, have a good day.

[B]

All right, thanks. I'm gonna go eat some cake.

[A]

Yeah, I know, right? Lava cake.

[B]

Yeah. All right, have a good one.

[A]

All right, bye.

[B]

All right, you too. Bye.

[A]

Thanks for listening. To all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our 2 minute quiz, go to allearsenglish.com fluencyscore and if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.