
How to talk about not worrying about something in English
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Aubrey Carter
This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2370 English vocabulary to leave your worries at the door.
Michelle Kaplan
Welcome to the All Ears English podcast downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American host, Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, and Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz coming to you from Arizona and New York City, usa. And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com subscribe.
Is it easy for you to leave negative feelings or thoughts at the door? Today, Aubry and Michelle will talk about ways to say you aren't bringing baggage with you. Listen in. Today.
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Aubrey Carter
Hello Michelle, how are you?
Michelle Kaplan
I'm good. Aubry, nice to see you. Happy to record with you today. How are you?
Aubrey Carter
I know, great. This is so fun. I have a question. What color is your door like the front door of your house?
Michelle Kaplan
Oh, my door is a bluish purple. I believe you would call it periwinkle.
Aubrey Carter
Oh, that is very fun and one of the most fun names for a color. Periwinkle.
Michelle Kaplan
I love that periwinkle. It's like a light. Is. Is it blue? Is it light blue? Is it light purple? I don't know. It's periwinkle. That and that was my risky decision of. Oh, okay, I want a fun door color. This is.
Aubrey Carter
Painted it that color. It wasn't that color when you bought the home.
Michelle Kaplan
Yes. Yeah.
Aubrey Carter
So my door is very boring. It's like really dark brown, almost black. But recently we had kind of a mishap because it is sort of sun faded. It faces the sun and so we tried to fix it but it was stained originally. So we were trying to restain over it a few lives was not working. So finally we're really like we're just gonna have to paint it but I think we have to sand it down first. It's.
Michelle Kaplan
I wouldn't even know where to start with that. But that's. That's fun. So today we are going to talk about an Expression using the word door. That is really useful and fun. This expression is to leave something at the door. What do you think about this one, Aubrey?
Aubrey Carter
You know, I've thought about this a few times when we start recording podcasts, because to leave something at the door means you have to forget it, you know, sort of close that door and start something else. And sometimes I'll be having a bad day, something bad is happening, and I really have to leave that at the door in order to be positive and energetic here.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because on the podcast, we're not gonna.
Aubrey Carter
I'm not gonna share all of my woes and problems with you guys. I mean, sometimes. Sometimes the issues with the kids or something come out, but I try. I try to leave it at the door.
Michelle Kaplan
Exactly, exactly. So, Aubry, this actually came up on an episode of the Business English podcast that I recorded with Lindsay. It was from episode three, six, 78, which I actually think was probably just yesterday. I think so. Guys, check out the Business English podcast. This episode was called how to catch attention when you introduce a change in English. And in this episode, we said, leave your preconceptions at the door. This is, you know, we realized that it's very powerful to say leave something at the door. So we decided to take a full episode to discuss this. But I wanted to bring it back over here to all ears. English.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, I'm excited. This is a great expression. We use it and hear it a lot. And this is really powerful to say leave something at the door. This is really. If you're admitting you need to leave something at the door, you are being vulnerable. You're admitting that not everything is perfect because the really happy, positive, fun things, you wouldn't need to leave them at the door. Right, True.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, that's a really good point. I mean, but are we talking about literally, literally leaving something at the door?
Aubrey Carter
Good question. No, this is idiomatic. You could say, if a package is being delivered, oh, leave that at the door. You. There is this literal use, but we use this actually more often idiomatically to say forget something. Put. To put pause on something. To put something on pause.
Michelle Kaplan
Yes, exactly. So to. To leave something at the door. So to start with the door. So this is again, about when you begin something, when you enter some place or situation. So that's the idea of why. When we use the door for it. So you're entering a room, you're entering a situation, a place, whatever it is. And you have to. You. You have the door, but you are going in the door and you're leaving something there. So the something is whatever you're holding on to. So like Aubrey, Aubrey said some sort of thing that's going on in your life, maybe, maybe you're holding on to a grudge with someone or an opinion or even a bias or some drama, negative feelings, whatever it is. But like Aubry said, it's not. You're not leaving positive things at the door.
Aubrey Carter
Exactly. It's interesting how often we use doors metaphorically in English. Right. We have the expression when one door closes, another one opens. It's never like literal doors. Like it's metaphorical. This feeling of, you know, just a space opening in your mind or in your heart maybe. Right. It's a lot more about feelings.
Michelle Kaplan
Right, Exactly. So to come in with that new mindset and which we did touch on on that business English episode. So definitely be sure to listen to that because it really does connect to today's episode. So head on over to the business English podcast effort after this and make sure you hit follow there as well as on this podcast. So let's do some examples. Aubry, you want to do the first one?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. I know you're totally exhausted, but try to leave it all at the door now and just enjoy the night. I could totally see myself saying this to my partner or him saying it to me. Right. If you know someone's not in a great headsp, they're tired, say, okay, leave it at the door. So we can still have fun tonight.
Michelle Kaplan
Right. Especially with having kids. You know, you want a parent to come in. Yeah. Things. It's hard. It's hard to be an adult and have things go on at work, maybe that are difficult. But, you know, to always try and come in and not, not bring it into the space with your kids at night.
Aubrey Carter
Right, Exactly. Right. Or otherwise, that's really exhausting. Especially exhausting if it carries through not only all day but then into the night. At some point you've to leave it at the door.
Michelle Kaplan
Exactly, exactly. So here's another one. Leave all your self doubt at the door. It's time to get our bodies moving. So I'm imagining go. You go into an exercise class and it's a tough one. And maybe they're trying to get everybody motivated. The instructor and they said, leave yourself down at the door.
Aubrey Carter
Right. I could see Cody saying this. Michelle and I are both fans of Cody Rigsby. A little shout out to a peloton instructor who's so funny.
Michelle Kaplan
I love. I, I, I, I will not do a class from anybody else. Anymore. I think it's just I always go to Cody.
Aubrey Carter
That's so funny. I've, I tried. I dabble. I try to, like, do some of the other ones, but it's never the same. It's true every time. It's just such. And he would totally. He does that.
Michelle Kaplan
Right.
Aubrey Carter
He'll motivate you. Like, leave it all at the door and enjoy this class.
Michelle Kaplan
Yes, I, I, Yeah, I love him. He is so funny. Okay. Or. So here's another example. This could be maybe in a yoga class. Breathe in. Leave your stress at the door. This is your time to relax.
Aubrey Carter
Yes. Right. So you're. Imagine, leave your stress at the door when you entered the yoga studio. You're unpacking your stress and leaving it out in the hall.
Michelle Kaplan
Yes, exactly. Or what's another example? One more.
Aubrey Carter
You could say, I told him to leave his emotions at the door. I know it's hard, but we have to show strength. So, yeah, this is tricky. When it comes to emotion, sometimes we're encouraged, like, yes, show emotion, share emotion. And sometimes it's not the right time. You have to leave it at the door.
Michelle Kaplan
That's true. I mean, Aubry, do you have any tips or tricks of how to leave negative feelings at the door? Do you do anything to. When you come into a new space or when you start recording or anything like that? How do you, how do you do that?
Aubrey Carter
I think that I have been able to develop a lot of cognitive dissonance in my life. Having grown up in the family with the religion that did that, I was able to develop that a lot. And so now I do feel like this is a skill that I can really just sort of shut it off, leave it at the door, and enjoy the time that I'm at, regardless of what is happening. So that's one perk for, for some things that I, you know, struggled with as a youth.
Michelle Kaplan
Interesting. Well, so it makes you, Gives you a strong backbone for, for your current life. Yeah, yeah.
Aubrey Carter
And just that ability to. Because some people are really affected. Let's say you go to a job interview and it's not a good day. Maybe you got pulled over or in a wreck on the way to the job interview. And I do think a lot of people would have a hard time leaving those emotions at the door and still performing at 100%. Yeah, understandably. Right. And I do feel like this is sort of a skill that I could just shut that off. It's gone like it never happened, and I'm performing.
Michelle Kaplan
That's good. That's Very impressive, Aubry.
Aubrey Carter
I think so too. Yeah.
Michelle Kaplan
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Okay, so let's talk about some other ways we might express this feeling. So the first one is to check it out the door. So, same ideas. Leave something at the door to check something at the door. So check your attitude at the door. We all need to get along.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, this is a little more harsh. Probably because we wouldn't say it to ourselves as much. I need to check my attitude at the door. You're probably saying it to someone else. It's a little bit critical. Right?
Michelle Kaplan
True. Very good point. That is the difference. That one is more critical than just, oh, leave it at the door. Right? That one's a little bit smoother. Just a little piece more peaceful. This one. It sounds like you're being scolded. Maybe so.
Aubrey Carter
Right? Maybe you're implying that they usually don't. They're usually bringing an attitude in. This time you need to check your attitude at the door.
Michelle Kaplan
Yes, exactly. Or what's another one, Aubry?
Aubrey Carter
You let something go. So before we get started, let's all try to let go of the grudges we might be holding. After yesterday's argument, I can't help but think about Frozen the song Let It Go.
Michelle Kaplan
Yes.
Aubrey Carter
The whole point of that whole song. Every mom of daughters has seen this and maybe sons too. But yeah, this is a really common popular one. Just let it go. It's like try to forget it and not let it affect you.
Michelle Kaplan
Exactly. Yes. I do have a two year old now who likes to sing Frozen. Yes. Or just leave it behind. Just leave something behind. So you could say, leave your negativity behind. We are here to have a good time.
Aubrey Carter
Yes. Those are all great. And what an amazing connection skill. If you're meeting someone for the first time or you know, meeting with a friend you haven't seen in a while and you're not having the best day, you're probably going to want to leave behind any negativity or frustration because you're. Otherwise it would be really difficult to connect with that person.
Michelle Kaplan
Right. Yeah. You have to be present.
Aubrey Carter
Right.
Michelle Kaplan
That's what this is. That's what this is ultimately about. Being present. Being able to just focus on where you are in the moment and not let the rest bother you. So, I mean, I know for Lindsay, I know yoga and meditation, things like that. For me, I do like reading helps me or taking a walk or watching a funny show helps me a lot. Any other things that help you?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, sports for me for sure. If I go play volleyball or pickleball, that it's like you don't have time or the brain space to think about anything else. So it really kind of helps clear your head, I think.
Michelle Kaplan
I, and Lindsay and I actually, we always say podcasting too, because you. We can only think about what we're doing now and it's a fun talk. It's a great time. Right. We're having, we're focused on teaching and connecting on all of that. So you have to like, like Aubrey said before, leave things at the door.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, absolutely. I have a feeling this will be our Spotify poll today. We want to know what it is for you guys. Like, you know, what are these strategies that you use to leave something at the door? And I, I feel like this is just such a good skill to. If you haven't practiced in an advance, it would be difficult and sometimes it's just necessary. Check everything at the door, Leave it at the door so that you can perform or connect.
Michelle Kaplan
Exactly. So let's do a role play. We're not going to use all of these because it would be too much. But here we are, friends and I am coming to meet you after I just quit my job. Oh, gosh.
Aubrey Carter
Oh, no. I'll start us. Wow. So how are you?
Michelle Kaplan
I can't believe that happened. I'm honestly Trying to leave it all at the door. I just want to enjoy this hangout.
Aubrey Carter
Okay, I get it. You want to just let it go.
Michelle Kaplan
Definitely. I'm just ready to leave it behind.
Aubrey Carter
Oh, this is so good. We can go through this, but I think this is so wise. To be able to be open about this is even better than what I was saying. Just like, shut it off and forget it didn't happen. If you can share with a friend, like, things aren't perfect, but I'm going to leave it at the door. Like, name it and then say, you're going to leave it at the door is even better.
Michelle Kaplan
Right, right, right, exactly. So let's go through it. So let's see. I said, I'm honestly trying to leave it all at the door. I just want to enjoy this hangout. So I'm saying I'm not. I don't really want to spend time talking about this because it doesn't make me feel good. I'm saying I want to spend time with you, Aubrey. I don't want to spend time talking about this. And that's fine.
Aubrey Carter
Right? And that is fine. Right. And then I responded, oh, I get it. You just want to let it go. This is such a good connection skill. If someone doesn't want to go, you know, hash out all the details, this is what you want to say. Like, totally get it. You want to leave it at the door.
Michelle Kaplan
Exactly. And then I said, definitely, I'm just ready to leave it behind. So leave those negative feelings behind. Or don't want to talk about that today.
Aubrey Carter
So it might just be too fresh. Right. Maybe you'll talk about it at another time.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, true. Maybe. Yeah. Sometimes things are just too fresh. It's not gonna maybe. I know it's gonna make me cry or feel some intense emotions and I'm not ready.
Aubrey Carter
I'm not in a good state to discuss it right now. Totally.
Michelle Kaplan
Exactly. Exactly. So, Aubrey, what would you say the takeaway is for today?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, I think there are a few things. I think this is such a good connection skill to have these phrases and be ready to show understanding and vulnerability to admit if you need to leave something behind, leave it at the door. To recognize when a friend doesn't want to go into details. What great connection skills.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, absolutely. Well, thanks so much for hanging out with me today, Aubrey. And just being able to leave everything at the door and podcast with you is great for my. My mental well being.
Aubrey Carter
Same. I agree. Thank you, Michelle. This is really fun.
Michelle Kaplan
I will see you next time. See you soon. Bye Aubrey.
Aubrey Carter
Bye.
Michelle Kaplan
Thanks for listening. To all ears. English Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward/fluencyscore and if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.
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All Ears English Podcast Episode AEE 2370: "English Vocabulary to Leave Your Worries at the Door"
Release Date: March 10, 2025
Hosts: Michelle Kaplan and Aubrey Carter
In Episode 2370 of the All Ears English Podcast, hosts Michelle Kaplan and Aubrey Carter explore the idiomatic expression "leave something at the door." Aimed at intermediate to advanced ESL learners, this episode delves into the nuances of the phrase, offering practical examples and personal insights to help listeners incorporate it seamlessly into their daily conversations.
Michelle begins by posing a reflective question to Aubrey:
"Is it easy for you to leave negative feelings or thoughts at the door?" ([00:53])
This sets the stage for a deep dive into the meaning and applications of the expression. "Leave something at the door" typically means not bringing personal issues, negative emotions, or preconceived notions into a new environment or situation. It's about fostering a positive and open mindset.
Aubrey clarifies the dual usage of the phrase:
"You know, I've thought about this a few times when we start recording podcasts, because to leave something at the door means you have to forget it, you know, sort of close that door and start something else." ([03:08])
While the phrase can be used literally—such as instructing someone to leave a package at the door—it is predominantly used idiomatically to signify setting aside certain thoughts or feelings when entering a new context.
Michelle shares a relevant anecdote from a recent Business English podcast episode:
"We said, leave your preconceptions at the door. This is, you know, we realized that it's very powerful to say leave something at the door." ([04:24])
Aubrey adds her personal perspective:
"Sometimes I'll be having a bad day, something bad is happening, and I really have to leave that at the door in order to be positive and energetic here." ([03:08])
These insights highlight the importance of the expression in maintaining positivity and effectiveness in various settings.
To illustrate the versatility of the phrase, Michelle and Aubrey provide several contextual examples:
Social Settings:
Fitness and Wellness:
Emotional Boundaries:
These examples demonstrate how the phrase can be adapted to various contexts, from personal relationships to professional environments.
Michelle asks Aubrey for actionable tips:
"Do you have any tips or tricks of how to leave negative feelings at the door?" ([08:54])
Aubrey responds by sharing her experience with developing cognitive dissonance:
"I have been able to develop a lot of cognitive dissonance in my life... I can just sort of shut it off, leave it at the door, and enjoy the time that I'm at, regardless of what is happening." ([09:07])
Michelle and Aubrey discuss various methods that help them stay present, such as:
These strategies provide listeners with practical tools to implement the expression in their own lives.
To further elucidate the concept, Michelle and Aubrey engage in a role-play scenario:
Scenario: Meeting a friend after quitting a job.
Michelle: "I can't believe that happened. I'm honestly trying to leave it all at the door. I just want to enjoy this hangout." ([15:07])
Aubrey: "Oh, I get it. You want to just let it go." ([15:17])
Michelle: "Definitely. I'm just ready to leave it behind." ([15:20])
This exchange showcases how acknowledging one's struggles and consciously choosing to set them aside can enhance personal interactions.
Aubrey summarizes the key points:
"This is such a good connection skill to have... to admit if you need to leave something behind, leave it at the door. To recognize when a friend doesn't want to go into details." ([16:43])
Michelle reinforces the importance of presence:
"Being present. Being able to just focus on where you are in the moment and not let the rest bother you." ([13:36])
These takeaways emphasize the role of the expression in fostering meaningful and unaffected connections.
Aubrey Carter ([03:08]): "Leave something at the door means you have to forget it, you know, sort of close that door and start something else."
Aubrey Carter ([04:24]): "When you admit you need to leave something at the door, you are being vulnerable."
Michelle Kaplan ([13:36]): "Being present. Being able to just focus on where you are in the moment and not let the rest bother you."
Episode 2370 of the All Ears English Podcast offers a comprehensive exploration of the idiom "leave something at the door." Through engaging discussions, real-life examples, and practical strategies, Michelle Kaplan and Aubrey Carter equip listeners with the necessary tools to incorporate this expression into their English vocabulary effectively. By focusing on being present and setting aside personal worries, learners can enhance their communication skills and build stronger, more positive relationships.
Join the Conversation!
The hosts encourage listeners to participate by sharing their own strategies for "leaving something at the door" through community polls and to take their English fluency quiz at allearsenglish.com/fluencyscore.
Connection NOT Perfection!