
Learn more about dating in American culture
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Aubrey Carter
This is an Allers English podcast. Episode 2372 Ghosting and dating culture in the US.
Lindsey McMahon
Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, and Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, usa. And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com subscribe is dating in American culture different from dating in your country? What are the four most trending dating words right now? Find out all of this and more today. Do you often end up in situations where you know exactly what you want to say, but you don't have the English vocabulary words that you need in that moment? To succeed in English, you need nuanced English vocabulary. But first you need to know your English level. Take our free English level quiz to find out if you are B1, B2 or C1. Go to allearsenglish.com fluency score that's allearsenglish.com F L U E N C Y S C O R E hello Aubry. How are you today?
Aubrey Carter
Hello Lindsay. We are talking about dating today and I'm curious, do you think the dating scene has changed much since we were single?
Lindsey McMahon
I'm pretty sure it has. Last time, I mean, I I last time I was Single was like eight years ago. I for me it was 21 years.
Aubrey Carter
But we got a great question about dating culture in the US and so I actually listened to a couple of dating podcasts, current dating podcasts, and learned some of the newer vocabulary. I My daughter is dating. She has a boyfriend now, so I talked to her a little bit to get a little more in the know about. I love that because it has changed a ton with dating apps, which weren't as common when we were dating. Now that's a that's the way to do it. Like everybody's on the apps.
Lindsey McMahon
Interesting. I thought it was social media was like taking over dating apps, but maybe I'm wrong, but I haven't talked to anyone about this in a long time.
Aubrey Carter
It is both for sure. People are sliding into your dms, Instagram especially, but often they will meet on a dating app and then look that person up on Instagram and look at all those and then send them a DM on Instagram. So it often still starts with the dating apps.
Lindsey McMahon
Interesting. Okay, you've done some research for this episode. I love it all right, so this comes from a question, right from Goal Nas. Should I go ahead and read the question?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, let's do it.
Lindsey McMahon
All right, so here we go. Golaz says thank you. Allers English team. Hi, Lindsay, Michelle, Jessica, and Aubrey. I'm goalie from and I wanted to say I really appreciate the amazing work the Allers English team puts into this podcast. Oh, thank you. Awesome.
Aubrey Carter
Thank you.
Lindsey McMahon
I've learned so much from listening. It has been both enjoyable and incredibly helpful for improving my English skills. Your approach makes learning fun and relatable. Love it.
Aubrey Carter
I love that. That's the goal. Right. So when we get this feedback. Yes. Thank you.
Lindsey McMahon
It feels great. It means a lot to us. It means the world to us, as we said.
Aubrey Carter
Exactly.
Lindsey McMahon
All right, I have a suggestion. For future episodes, would it be possible to create some content related to dating culture in the US it would be great to learn about the cultural aspects as well as some useful idioms and vocabulary that are commonly used in dating contexts. I think it would be very helpful for listeners navigating life here. Keep. Thank you for all your hard work and keep up the fantastic job. Oh, so good.
Aubrey Carter
Aubrey, such a great question. And there are a ton of dating podcasts out there, some really fun ones. One that I found is called you up, which this is a big part of dating culture. Often there's less commitment right away. And so the U up text is, you know, sort of well known for people who are in situationships. Maybe they're not committed to just one person, but they're texting each other to find out if they're still awake to meet up late night, maybe at a bar for drinks. So it's interesting. Sure, that existed when we were single, but there are things that are changing about dating culture in the US I am very curious. You know, I tried to kind of get updated, but this is probably. I don't know how different this is around the world.
Lindsey McMahon
Oh, for sure. Yeah. There are probably some commonalities around the world and some differences depending on culture and cultural differences. Right. So we have some really interesting vocabulary today. I feel like I haven't even heard the first one before.
Aubrey Carter
A lot of these might be new to you, Lindsay. If you guys are dating in the US or if you've just moved to the US you might not be familiar with these yet. So we're excited to share some of this, the newest trendy vocabulary around dating. So let's dive into that first, and I'm sure each one will sort of bring up a conversation about what was this, like when we were dating. How is dating culture changing?
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah. So the first one is breadcrumbing. And so I. I know the term breadcrumbs from. You know, you're. Well, yeah, certainly Hansel and Gretel. And then online, when you talk about building websites and things kind of that people can find their way back to where they've been. Right. But in dating, it's when you send occasional playful or flirtatious messages to keep someone interested, but without any plans to commit. Okay.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. So it's interesting. This is sort of a. Has a negative connotation because that would be fine, of course, to send these messages if you think there's a chance for a relationship with this person. But it's definitely this connotation of like, someone was breadcrumbing me now, and then later I find out they never had any plans to seriously date me. They knew there would not be a relationship. So this is sort of a very negative thing to do to someone.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah, I agree. I agree. Kind of mean, right? Sort of. And usually reflects on insecurity from the person who's doing it, who's doing the breadcrumbing. Right.
Aubrey Carter
The way we would have said this when I was dating was leading someone on, like, oh, she's just leading him on. And that would be the same kind of thing. Messages. Flirting with someone that you are not planning on dating seriously.
Lindsey McMahon
Exactly. So again, another sample sentence. I think she's just breadcrumbing me or he breadcrumbed me. We're using it in the past tense there for our listeners. He breadcrumbed me for months. Oh, right.
Aubrey Carter
So this can be used as a verb or a noun. Right. And that's what it means. And. And often maybe it's not true, but if someone ends some kind of situationship and some kind of relationship and you find out maybe from their friends or from their lack of emotional connection, you feel like they never intended to date you seriously. Then you might be like, I feel like they were just breadcrumbing me.
Lindsey McMahon
Oh, yeah. And the next one, ghosting. There was actually just an article about ghosting in the New York Times over the weekend, which I scroll through because it's a fascinating topic. Aubrey. Ghosting. Right.
Aubrey Carter
It's really fascinating. Before text messages, before social apps, the only way to do this would be like, if you're dating someone and you moved, maybe moved to another country and then just never called them again and never said anything, I guess that would have been sort of ghosting. But it's definitely more Common now that you can just block someone on with your phone and never see them.
Lindsey McMahon
It almost feels like though ghosting in the past was just not following up and there was no way to follow up. Right. I think maybe now there's more expectation to officially close out something. Well, let's, let's define what it means, Aubrey.
Aubrey Carter
First, let's, let's get on the posting. Right. Is when someone suddenly cuts off all communication without any explanation, typically in the context of a relationship.
Lindsey McMahon
So.
Aubrey Carter
Right. Once upon a time, maybe you just stop calling each other, but there's no. There was less of an expectation. Maybe you'd run into them in the grocery store, but it was very unlikely. As now you see their social media, you still see them online, but they're not messaging you anymore. It's more strange.
Lindsey McMahon
I haven't thought of it in that context. Actually. I'm watching the show this is Us. I'm going through all the seasons because I somehow missed it when it came out. And so I'm thinking about when Jack and Rebecca were dating. It was the early 80s and I imagine if they had just gone out on a few dates and no one followed up in today's context, that would be considered ghosting. But there was no way. You're not going to call and say, hey, I'm not going to call you again. Right.
Aubrey Carter
You just don't call.
Lindsey McMahon
You just don't call. So, yes, become a thing with technology in a way. But I also think it's really mean.
Aubrey Carter
Right. And I think why the. A lot of the reason it's more common now is because of the apps, because of social media, people can be talking to multiple people at a time. That kind of means like, you know, flirting, texting, like the, the prelude to a relationship and then to, you know, if you have a lot of people you're messaging and then you start to get more serious about one. What do you owe all of the rest of them? Do you message them and say, I don't think we're the match, or do they just never hear from you again? And that would be ghosting them.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah, it's very common word right now in our, in our zeitgeist. Right. It was in the New York Times over the weekend. I mean, a whole episode, a whole article about why they interviewed people in their 20s, 30s, 40s and talked about why they ghost their partner. Last time it was really kind of a psychological deep dive if our listeners are interested in psychology. Really interesting.
Aubrey Carter
That would be really interesting. Definitely. Check it out. Yeah, let's Do a couple. Just quick examples, maybe. Can you believe he ghosted me after we had been dating for six weeks? So this would be. Wow. If you're actually going on dates, it's not just messaging and then you never hear from them again. That would feel pretty extreme.
Lindsey McMahon
Absolutely. I. Here's another one. I am not a ghoster. I always let someone know if I think it's not a match. Yes.
Aubrey Carter
And so here we're using it to describe ourselves and be like, I would never ghost anyone. I'm not a ghoster. That means I'm always going to message them and let them know if it's not working out for me.
Lindsey McMahon
Love it. Very common phrase, really important for dating right now in 2025. Aubry. What would be the next one?
Aubrey Carter
All right, the next one is cuffing. And this is committing to one partner. It's derived from the word handcuffed. So you're cuffing yourself to someone. You have all of these situationships. You have all of these people you're talking to. And then if you define the relationship and decide to start dating just one person, it's called cuffing. And then we also have cuffing season. What is that, Lindsay?
Lindsey McMahon
Yes. I've heard this. The colder months of the year when people are more likely to want to be in a relationship. Yeah.
Aubrey Carter
I remember you go through the summer, you're talking to all of these people, then it starts getting cold.
Lindsey McMahon
I remember in my friend group in New York when I was living there, all of a sudden I looked around, all these people were breaking up around March, April. And I'm thinking, why? What's happen?
Aubrey Carter
Right. They're dating lots of people, and then they might have been in a relationship again by October.
Lindsey McMahon
Yep. You know, they want to be free, be out in the world in New York. So really interesting. So let's do some samples.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. You might hear he acted like I was cuffing him when I asked where this is going. So this would be like. If someone's like, I feel like one person is trying to make the relationship more serious, define it before someone else is ready.
Lindsey McMahon
And that's always awkward. That never works out.
Aubrey Carter
Right.
Lindsey McMahon
When one person feels like they're being cuffed or trying to nail. Nail down or something is another word I might use.
Aubrey Carter
Try to nail somebody down. Try to. Just to get someone to commit.
Lindsey McMahon
Yes, exactly. Here's another sample. I can tell it's cuffing season. I want someone to snuggle up with in front of a fire.
C
Yeah.
Lindsey McMahon
It's just a human thing. Right. But yeah, you could. You could see the patterns.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. Or you can say, I can tell it's cuffing season. All of my friends are starting to get serious with their significant others.
Lindsey McMahon
Interesting. Interesting. Okay, next one. I know for sure. And this is the thing we never want to end up in if we're around our. Our love interest. And what is it, Aubrey?
Aubrey Carter
The friend zone. So to get friend zoned, someone you're interested in romantically makes it clear that they only think of you as a friend. That is. That's happened to all of us. If you're out there listening and you're in this situation, we have solidarity. We've all been there.
Lindsey McMahon
We feel.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah.
Lindsey McMahon
It's happened to everyone on the planet. I'm sure she told me last night that I'm such a good friend. Friend. I think I'm officially friend zoned.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. So we use it a verb. That way I'm friend zoned. Or I keep getting put in the friend zone. It's used as a noun here. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
Lindsey McMahon
Very common. So these are, you know, four really, really common dating terms right now in 2025. I love it. Yeah. As a busy entrepreneur, I need reliable team members who have specific skills. And when I'm hiring, I want qualified candidates applying for the job fast. One of the best things about Indeed is that it streamlines hiring to make it fast because it allows you to look for very specific skills when you post your job. As we gear up to expand our team this spring, I plan to use Indeed. So if you're in charge of hiring at your company, stop struggling to get your job post seen on other job sites. Indeed's Sponsored Jobs helps you stand out and hire fast. With Sponsored Jobs. Your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster, and it makes a huge difference. According to Indeed data, Sponsored Jobs posted directly on indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. There's no need to wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed, and listeners of this podcast will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To get your jobs more visibility at Indeed.com AEE just go to Indeed.com AEE right now and support our show by saying that you heard about Indeed on this podcast. One more time, go to I N d e e d.com AE terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. Okay, Aubry, we are back. Let's go into a little role play. This should be fun dating talk Right.
Aubrey Carter
So we are not ourselves here. We are Flavia and Margot, and we are discussing our friend Lily's dating life. I'll start us out.
Lindsey McMahon
Okay.
Aubrey Carter
I think Lily is breadcrumbing this guy. She doesn't seem interested at all.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah, she probably needs to friend zone him if she knows it's not going anywhere.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, she's pretty bad at ghosting. She'll probably just block him one day, and he'll never hear from her again.
Lindsey McMahon
Who knows, though? Maybe we'll hit cuffing season, and she'll decide to commit.
Aubrey Carter
Nice. Oh, geez. I love this. I'm like, we need to be talking about someone else. It's. I feel like this could come off as very negative. A lot of these do have this negative connotation of leading someone on, of not being respectful of someone else's feelings.
Lindsey McMahon
Right.
Aubrey Carter
But it does happen.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah. This is how a lot of dating conversations sound, I suppose. Right. So.
Aubrey Carter
Okay.
Lindsey McMahon
So you said, I think Lily is breadcrumbing this guy. And it's interesting how we use that word. Word as a verb. We conjugate it. Yo, he's breadcrumbing. She is breadcrumbing this guy.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. So something she's currently doing. She's sending flirty texts, leading him on, but maybe telling me, I know this isn't gonna work. I know this isn't going anywhere. And then showing me the text she's sending so that I'd be like, wow, your bread grip on this guy.
Lindsey McMahon
Interesting. And then what? Friend zone?
Aubrey Carter
Yes. You said she probably needs to friend zone him if she knows it's not going anywhere. So we're just sort of seeing our friend not being serious about someone. And though no one wants to get friend zoned, that's a better option if, you know, it's. There's no future for sure.
Lindsey McMahon
And then I. You said she's pretty bad at ghosting, right? Mean. Meaning she doesn't have.
Aubrey Carter
Well, how.
Lindsey McMahon
How can you be good or bad at ghosting? It's just kind of stopping the communication. Right. Yeah.
Aubrey Carter
I think this. What if I said this, she's pretty bad at ghosting means to me that she does it a lot, and I don't think it's a good thing to do.
Lindsey McMahon
Oh, I thought you meant she doesn't have a skill. She doesn't. She's not skilled.
Aubrey Carter
This is an interesting language feature, a language trunk where it kind of could mean either thing. Right. If. If I'm saying she's bad at ghosting, maybe. I mean, she doesn't do it often. Because it's a bad thing to do, right?
Lindsey McMahon
Oh, it could mean a lot of things.
Aubrey Carter
It could mean a lot of things. So you'll have to listen to intonation. Listen for context. But here I meant like, she's bad at doing that to people. She's bad at ghosting people. She's done it a lot.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah. So we could say something like, oh, she, she's always ghosting people.
Aubrey Carter
Ghosting people would mean the same thing. Yeah.
Lindsey McMahon
Okay, good. And then I said, who knows though? Maybe we'll hit cuffing season and she'll commit. Right. She'll decide to commit.
Aubrey Carter
Right. The weather will get colder and she'll realize, maybe I do like this person.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah. Excellent. Fantastic. So, Aubry, this is part of a series, right? Let's hear about the series. Where is the next episode in this series going to be?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, this is going to be really interesting. Part two will be on the business English podcast. Should you talk about dating at work? Because you have vocabulary, you know a lot now about dating culture in the in the US but should you bring it up at work to whom in what context? So be sure to follow business English if you're not so you don't miss that episode.
Lindsey McMahon
That is going to be an incredibly important episode. Incredibly important. So right now what we'd like you to do, guys, is go over, open your search bar, wherever you're listening, type in business English and hit the follow button. That is the one thing we'd like you to do so you're ready for the next part of this series. What's the takeaway today, Aubrey?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, well, dating culture changes constantly and so does the language around dating. So you can use today's that you know the newest trendy vocabulary around dating in the U.S. yes. And yeah. Come back to YouTube. Let us know. What is this like in your culture? Does this sound familiar or is it very different? Do you use similar terms?
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah. And if this episode sparked any questions about dating an American culture or dating in English, we can make additional episodes on this topic. I know it's a popular topic for our audience. So guys, go ahead and send in that question to support@dollarsenglish.com all right.
Aubrey Carter
Yes. Awesome. We love to get your questions. The more specific the better.
Lindsey McMahon
All right, good stuff, Aubry. We'll see you next time. Can't wait for that. Part two. Sounds good. All right, take care.
Aubrey Carter
Bye bye.
Lindsey McMahon
Thanks for listening. To all ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com fluencyscore. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.
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Hosts: Lindsay McMahon and Aubrey Carter
Release Date: March 12, 2025
The episode kicks off with Lindsay McMahon and Aubrey Carter diving into the evolving landscape of dating in the United States. Aubrey poses a reflective question to Lindsay:
Aubrey Carter ([01:39]): "Do you think the dating scene has changed much since we were single?"
Lindsay acknowledges the significant shifts over the years, highlighting the impact of digital advancements:
Lindsay McMahon ([01:49]): "I'm pretty sure it has. Last time I was single was like eight years ago... I think it was 21 years."
Aubrey shares insights from his research, noting the prevalence of dating apps today compared to the past:
Aubrey Carter ([02:30]): "Now that's the way to do it. Like everybody's on the apps."
They discuss the interplay between dating apps and social media, with Aubrey explaining how interactions often transition from apps to platforms like Instagram:
Aubrey Carter ([02:38]): "People are sliding into your DMs, Instagram especially, but often they will meet on a dating app and then look that person up on Instagram and look at all those and then send them a DM..."
Lindsay reads a listener's question from Goal Nas, praising the podcast and suggesting future content:
Lindsey McMahon ([03:06]): "Golaz says... 'Would it be possible to create some content related to dating culture in the US... learn about the cultural aspects as well as some useful idioms and vocabulary that are commonly used in dating contexts.'"
Both hosts express gratitude for the feedback, emphasizing their commitment to making learning English engaging and relevant.
The core of the episode delves into contemporary dating terminology, reflecting the nuances of modern relationships.
Breadcrumbing ([05:28] – [07:15])
Lindsay ([06:39]): "She's just breadcrumbing me for months."
Ghosting ([07:15] – [10:32])
Aubrey ([09:05]): "He ghosted me after we had been dating for six weeks."
Lindsay ([10:13]): "I am not a ghoster. I always let someone know if I think it's not a match."
Cuffing Season ([10:32] – [12:22])
Aubrey ([11:37]): "He acted like I was cuffing him when I asked where this is going."
Lindsay ([12:11]): "I can tell it's cuffing season. I want someone to snuggle up with in front of a fire."
Friend Zone ([12:22] – [13:05])
Aubrey ([12:46]): "It's happened to all of us."
Lindsay ([13:05]): "I don't know what I'm doing wrong."
To contextualize the newly introduced terms, Lindsay and Aubrey engage in a role-play scenario as characters Flavia and Margot discussing their friend Lily's dating life.
Breadcrumbing in Action:
Aubrey as Flavia ([15:01]): "I think Lily is breadcrumbing this guy. She doesn't seem interested at all."
Friend Zoning and Ghosting:
Lindsay as Margot ([15:06]): "Yeah, she probably needs to friend zone him if she knows it's not going anywhere."
Cuffing Season Consideration:
Aubrey as Flavia ([16:11]): "But who knows, though? Maybe we'll hit cuffing season, and she'll decide to commit."
Throughout the role-play, both hosts illustrate the practical usage of each term, enhancing comprehension for listeners.
The episode concludes with a preview of the next installment in the series, focusing on the intersection of dating and professional environments:
Aubrey Carter ([17:41]): "Part two will be on the business English podcast. Should you talk about dating at work?"
Lindsay encourages listeners to stay engaged by subscribing to related series and inviting them to share their experiences and questions:
Lindsay McMahon ([18:19]): "If this episode sparked any questions about dating in American culture or dating in English, we can make additional episodes on this topic."
Key Takeaways:
Episode 2372 of the All Ears English Podcast offers an insightful exploration into the current U.S. dating landscape, enriched with contemporary vocabulary and relatable discussions. Lindsay and Aubrey effectively bridge language learning with cultural understanding, providing listeners with both linguistic tools and contextual knowledge to navigate modern relationships confidently.
For those eager to continue enhancing their English skills within the context of everyday American culture, subscribing to the All Ears English Podcast ensures access to engaging and relevant content.
Note: Advertisements and non-content segments have been omitted to focus solely on the episode's primary discussions.