AEE 2388: We Don't Want You Skipping This Episode

Summary

Podcast Summary: All Ears English Podcast - Episode 2388: "We Don't Want You Skipping This Episode"

Release Date: April 9, 2025

In Episode 2388 of the All Ears English Podcast, hosts Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan delve into the nuanced use of the phrase "I don't want you doing X" in American English. This episode is particularly valuable for intermediate to advanced ESL learners aiming to grasp the subtlety and context behind common English expressions.

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1. Introduction to the Episode

The episode kicks off with Lindsay emphasizing the importance of not skipping this particular discussion, setting the stage for an in-depth exploration of a commonly used English phrase.

• Lindsay McMahon [00:00]: "This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2388. We don't want you skipping this episode."

Michelle complements this by highlighting the podcast's mission to help listeners become fluent by focusing on connection rather than perfection.

• Michelle Kaplan [00:09]: "We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection..."

2. Exploring the Phrase "I Don't Want You Doing X"

The core of the episode revolves around understanding the phrase "I don't want you doing X", its usage, and the underlying tones it can convey.

a. Contextual Understanding

Michelle introduces the concept through a personal anecdote about her dog, Kiefer, illustrating how the phrase can express concern and responsibility.

• Michelle Kaplan [01:50]: "I don't want you wasting your money on somewhere that's unreliable."

Lindsay probes the meaning, leading to a discussion about the phrase's implications of responsibility and control.

• Lindsay McMahon [04:45]: "What is... What does this mean, Lindsay?"
• Michelle Kaplan [04:51]: "...you have a little bit more responsibility over this person or this thing in a way."

b. Nuances and Tones

The hosts explore how the phrase can range from a gentle suggestion to a firm warning, depending on the context and the relationship between the speakers.

• Lindsay McMahon [05:17]: "I don't want you wasting your money... This could just be seen as a way to help someone."
• Michelle Kaplan [07:08]: "...sometimes we just need time."

3. Practical Examples and Applications

To solidify understanding, Lindsay and Michelle provide various scenarios where the phrase might be appropriately used, highlighting the subtle differences in tone and intent.

a. Parental Guidance

Using examples that reflect a parent's protective instincts:

• Lindsay McMahon [06:37]: "I don't want you sleeping all day tomorrow. You have homework."
• Michelle Kaplan [07:09]: "I don't want you walking home in the dark. Let me drive you home."

b. Friendship and Responsibility

Illustrating how friends might use the phrase to look out for each other:

• Lindsay McMahon [08:17]: "I don't want you eating all my fries. Give them back."
• Michelle Kaplan [08:27]: "I don't want you spending any of your own money on this. The company will reimburse you."

These examples demonstrate the phrase's versatility and the importance of context in conveying the right tone.

4. Upcoming Course Announcement

Midway through the episode, Lindsay and Michelle excitedly announce their upcoming course, Professional English Level One, designed to enhance fluency and prepare listeners for professional environments.

• Michelle Kaplan [03:43]: "We interviewed six or seven native-speaking professionals... focusing on fluency and speaking."
• Lindsay McMahon [04:16]: "Go to all earsenglish.com professional and get on that list."

Listeners are encouraged to sign up for early access, ensuring they are among the first to benefit from the new material.

5. Role-Play Demonstration

A highlight of the episode is a role-play scenario where Lindsay and Michelle demonstrate the practical use of the phrase in conversation. This segment offers listeners a real-life application, enhancing comprehension and retention.

Scenario: Lindsay expresses confusion over a friend's anger, prompting Michelle to use the phrase to console and advise her.

• Lindsay McMahon [13:22]: "So I just don't know why she's so mad at me."
• Michelle Kaplan [13:25]: "Listen, Michelle, I don't want you giving this another thought. This is not about you."

Throughout the role-play, they illustrate how the phrase can convey care, responsibility, and support in interpersonal relationships.

• Michelle Kaplan [14:21]: "Unsettling."
• Lindsay McMahon [16:09]: "This feeling of you're responsible in some way. You care."

6. Key Takeaways and Conclusions

As the episode wraps up, Lindsay and Michelle summarize the key points discussed, emphasizing the importance of understanding context, tone, and the subtlety of expressions in effective communication.

• Michelle Kaplan [12:52]: "It's really interesting how a different choice of phrases could just change it slightly."
• Lindsay McMahon [16:06]: "This is an important connection skill... it's about responsibility and caring."

They encourage listeners to reflect on recent interactions where such phrases could be applicable, fostering practical application of the lesson.

7. Final Reminders

Before concluding, the hosts remind listeners to visit their website for resources and upcoming course details.

• Michelle Kaplan [17:06]: "All earsenglish.com professional."

Additionally, they promote their free fluency quiz, inviting listeners to assess their English level and continue their language learning journey.

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Notable Quotes:

• Michelle Kaplan [14:21]: "Unsettling."
• Lindsay McMahon [16:06]: "This gives off an air of responsibility. You feel responsible. You have a stake in someone in some way."

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Conclusion

Episode 2388 of the All Ears English Podcast offers a comprehensive exploration of the phrase "I don't want you doing X", providing listeners with valuable insights into its usage, nuances, and applications. Through engaging discussions, real-life examples, and practical demonstrations, Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan equip ESL learners with the tools to enhance their conversational English, fostering deeper connections and effective communication.

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For more resources and to participate in their upcoming course, visit allearsenglish.com.

Transcript

[Lindsay McMahon]

This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2388. We don't want you skipping this episode.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, usa. And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com subscribe sometimes we need to convey that we don't want someone to do something, but.

We want to use a tone of responsibility.

Listen in today to find out how to do this as we dive into.

The nuances of English.

[Lindsay McMahon]

What's the fastest way to achieve a goal to know where you're starting from? Find your English fluency level now and we'll show you the next steps to take to achieve the next fluency level in 2025. Go to allearsenglish.comfluencyscore to take our free quiz, go to allearsenglish.comflu e n c Y S C O R E.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Hello, Michelle. How's it going?

[Lindsay McMahon]

Good, Lindsay. How are you?

[Michelle Kaplan]

I'm good. I'm happy to be here with you. What are we getting into today?

[Lindsay McMahon]

Well, I, I have a question. What? Is there something that you don't want Kiefer to do? Like, does he ever misbehave?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah. He is this dog that loves other dogs. More humans, actually. He loves to lurch. So when we're walking and if he has that play energy, it's like he's, he becomes crazy and he lurches because. And sometimes he growls at dogs, but it's not because he wants to hurt them. He wants to play with them. It's all this pent up energy. Yeah. So one day that's going to get him in trouble, I think, you know.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Oh, no. So do you like, how do you get him to get back?

[Michelle Kaplan]

I mean, I have to get him to focus. When I see a dog coming, I have him stop and look at me. And we focus, you know, we, we calm down, we try to relax and, and yeah, we do our best.

[Lindsay McMahon]

That's very cute. Well, he's such a cutie. So today we are going to do an episode that was inspired by a common phrase that we used in a role play.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Okay.

[Lindsay McMahon]

During a recent Allers English episode. And what was that expression, Lindsay?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, this was a great expression. This was, I don't want you doing X Right. So, you know, I don't want Kefer lurching after dogs, right?

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yep, yep, exactly. So, guys, head on over to episode 2384. That was don't be hit or miss with your English. And the example there was, I don't want you wasting your money on somewhere that's unreliable. And we realized, wait a second. That's a really useful way to talk about something that you don't want to happen.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah.

It's so natural and native. And, Michelle, I don't think that this would be taught in any textbook. I just feel like it's kind of maybe an afterthought or something for the tech textbooks.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Definitely. This is very, very natural. Guys, we want to let you know that we are so excited about our course that is coming out. This is professional English level one. Lindsay, can you tell us about it? Yes.

[Michelle Kaplan]

This is going to be a fantastic course. We interviewed, I believe, six or seven native speakers, Native speaking professionals who work in industries like people working close to the SE suite as executive assistants, people working in technology, in product management, manufacturing, banking. It is fantastic who we have in this course that we chat with heavy focus on fluency and speaking. There's some pronunciation in there, there's from some vocabulary. It's great to build our foundation for working in English one day. All right, good stuff.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Amazing. All right, so you go to all earsenglish.com professional. Yes.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Go get on that early access list and you'll be the first to know when it goes live. Very soon. Should be in just a couple of days that you will be getting that email, guys. So go over to allersenglish.com professional and get on that list. All right.

[Lindsay McMahon]

All right. Can't wait.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes.

[Lindsay McMahon]

So let's go through this. So the structure is I don't want someone. Yeah. Verbing, basically.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Verbing. Yes.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yeah. What is. What does this mean, Lindsay?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, basically it just means you don't want someone, or in my case, my dog, to do something. But I think it kind of has a hint of control. Like you. Do you agree with that, Michelle? Like you have a little bit more maybe control over this person or this thing in a way. Does that make sense?

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yeah, I. I think so. I mean, I. I think, you know, it's. It's warning someone not to do something.

[Michelle Kaplan]

But in.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Well, like in the example from the episode that we did in the contest, it was, I don't want you wasting your money on somewhere that's unreliable. Now, this could just be seen as a way to help someone. Right.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah.

[Lindsay McMahon]

I think that's how we were using it kind of. Oh, this coffee shop. No, I don't want you wasting your money. It wasn't so much of a control thing necessarily, but just to help. But I do agree with you that a lot of times this is showing someone that you're looking out for them or that.

[Michelle Kaplan]

For them. Yeah.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Or that you. Yeah. You need to control something in some way. Like Kiefer.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right.

[Lindsay McMahon]

I don't want you large. Yeah.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Maybe control is not the right word, but maybe having. Maybe you have a little bit more responsibility over this person. Like, I would be more likely to say this. Let's say once my niece starts purchasing things with her own money. I don't want you wasting money on candy, you know, versus what she might say to her own friend who's her peer at her age. Doesn't mean you can't say that. But there's something about. Yeah. About looking out for someone a little bit.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yeah. It would be. It would be weird if she said that to her friend. But I mean. Yeah, it. So it. It is interesting. Yeah. I think. Warning or looking out for someone. So. Well, let's do some examples and talk them through. Yeah. So here's one. Is this is definitely a warning. I don't want you sleeping all day tomorrow. You have homework.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Now that is coming from a mother.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Exactly. Exactly. Lindsay, did you used to sleep. Sleep late when you were a teenager? No.

[Michelle Kaplan]

No, I wasn't that kid. I remember sleeping a lot in college. You know, I feel like most people sleep a lot. Naps are a thing in college.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Right.

[Michelle Kaplan]

And they never are a thing again in your entire life.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yep, Yep, yep, yep. Exactly. Yeah. So, I mean, this is a true warning. More like even scolding, telling the person what to do. So this is. Sounds like a parent. I don't want you doing this. I don't want you doing that. Yeah.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Y.

[Lindsay McMahon]

What's another one, Lindsay?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Here's one. I don't want you walking home in the dark. Let me drive you home. So this might be. Maybe you're visiting a friend and then their parent says this. It's 11pm you're gonna walk home. But the parent says this to you as a teenager. Right.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Could be that. It could also be, though, just. I mean, I have. I have a friend who lives in walking. Who used to live in walking distance from me. And I, you know, if I were to have that friend over and it's dark outside, I might just say, oh, no, I don't want you walking home in the dark. Let me drive you. So, yeah, it's a little. Just kind of looking out for them, taking some responsibility and showing that you want to help. So it's interesting. There's a lot of different, you know, behind, like, subtext to this.

[Michelle Kaplan]

There's a lot of. It's really interesting here. And, you know, if she's at your house, that friend, you know, maybe you're more likely to say that because, you know, the neighborhood. Maybe, you know, there's a little bit of additional information that maybe you have. This is a very nuanced thing. Right. But yeah, I like that idea. So you could say that to your friend for sure. What else, Michelle?

[Lindsay McMahon]

All right. I don't want you eating all my fries. Give them back.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, yeah. I just basically, I don't want you to do this. Right.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Or this one. I don't want you spending any of your own money on this. The company will reimburse you. Nice.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yeah. So it's just a different. I mean, if you were to put that in other words, you could say, oh, don't you. You don't need to spend your money on this.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Right. It's just a different way of saying that. It's. I don't know, it. It's. It gives off an air of, I think, like you said, responsibility.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah.

[Lindsay McMahon]

You feel responsible. You have a stake in someone in some way.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Or even in the Fries example, it's just kind of. That's more of the scolding or the warning.

[Michelle Kaplan]

That's more of the scolding. Yeah.

[Lindsay McMahon]

It's very dynamic this, the structure, actually.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, it is really interesting, but it's giving our listeners just another option. Guys, if you're at the B2C1 level, you're looking for other ways to say things, and this is one of them. Right.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yeah, I love it.

[Michelle Kaplan]

So good.

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Okay, Michelle, we are back. So when do we think we might use this in our lives? I mean, I thought your example, your question to me was a really good one. Because with my dog, you know, I've trained him. There are certain things, like I know better than he does, obviously. Right. Hopefully.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yeah.

[Michelle Kaplan]

And I don't want him getting in. Like, I don't want him getting, you know, there might be one day where he lurches after a dog and he gets attacked. And that's my biggest fear. Honestly. It's my biggest fear. So I have a responsibility over him. Right. So that kind of makes sense. What about you, Michelle? In your life, I imagine your kids may be.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yeah, of course. I mean, so, yeah, if maybe my kids were doing something I didn't think was good, so I could say, like, I don't want you listening to anything that boy says if he's mean to you. So.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Oh, yeah.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Or I'm just thinking, yeah. Now that the weather is getting nicer. We were at the playground yesterday, so I could say, oh, I don't want you running all over and like, without telling me where you are. Something like that.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right. Again, you're responsible for that child. Right. And you're telling him what to do and what not to do. Love that. So good. Yes. What are some. So there are other ways to say it, and the tone might be slightly different, but one that we could say, Michelle, is please don't. This is where we speak directly to that person. We say, please don't stay up too late. You have school tomorrow. More textbook, right? Yes.

[Lindsay McMahon]

More textbook. Or just I don't think you should. So I don't think you should use any extra makeup. You look amazing.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Or make sure you don't. Right. So make sure you don't lose your credit card again. You don't have to emphasize again.

But I did.

Right.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Right. Yeah. Yep, Exactly. So, yeah, just a couple different ways that you can say this if you're showing either responsibility or looking out for someone. But I do agree, Lindsay, I think just generally, general, there's this error of.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Responsibility yeah, it's really interesting how a different choice of phrases could just change it slightly. Slightly. What we're trying to say. And that's where our listeners are at right now in terms of their English for connection. Right. I love it. Should we see how it looks in a role play?

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yes, let's do it.

[Michelle Kaplan]

All right, Michelle, what's our scenario here? What are we doing?

[Lindsay McMahon]

Okay, so we are friends, and I'm telling you about a situation that happened with our other friend, a mutual friend.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Okay, here we go.

[Lindsay McMahon]

So I just don't know why she's so mad at me.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Listen, Michelle, I don't want you giving this another thought. This is not about you.

[Lindsay McMahon]

I know, but it's just upsetting.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Please don't get that. Don't let this get you down.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Thanks, Lindsay. Maybe I should call her.

[Michelle Kaplan]

I don't think you should do that right now. The situation is way too raw.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Maybe you're right. Make sure you don't say anything to her about this.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Of course not. Oh, there was just some kind of a fight.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Drama.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Drama. So you're really upset. And you're upset because you don't know why she's upset with you. Right. This other friend, and that's. That can be quite upsetting. Right.

[Lindsay McMahon]

That's a terrible feeling.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right.

[Lindsay McMahon]

If you don't understand what happened, you don't even know what to apologize.

[Michelle Kaplan]

That is really bad. Right. And you need to figure it out. The human mind, because the human mind wants to be connected. We as humans want to be connected. And if we realize maybe we've done something, it's really unsettling. Right. That's a good bonus phrase for today, Michelle. Unsettling.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Unsettling. Yep. I'm gonna write that down. That's gonna be in the app, guys.

[Michelle Kaplan]

I love it. All right, so what. What I said was. Listen, Michelle, I don't want you giving this another thought. This is not about you. So I'm saying this to you as your friend. I'm kind of trying to take care of you.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yes. You're looking out for me, or just like, oh, I don't want. You know. Yeah, you're kind of. I'm consumed in this situation, and you're kind of trying to get me out of it.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes, exactly. And then what did I say after that?

[Lindsay McMahon]

Then you said, please don't let this get you down. What do I. What do you mean by that get you down?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Don't let it make you feel sad. I. I also think maybe I know what's going on. Maybe potentially, like I know why she's upset. Could that be true? Right. I probably do know.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Maybe you don't. Maybe you do know.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, maybe I do know because I'm.

[Lindsay McMahon]

I don't know.

[Michelle Kaplan]

It feels like I have some insight or something.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yeah, it does. It does.

[Michelle Kaplan]

And then you said, thanks, Lindsay. Maybe I should call her. And you're not giving up. Right. You're. You're still coming back to it. And I said, I don't think you should do that right now. The situation is too raw.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Exactly. So maybe you know what's going on and you just know. Okay, give it a week and it'll be fine.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Sometimes we just need time.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Sure.

[Lindsay McMahon]

And then I just said, maybe you're right. Make sure you don't say anything to her about this.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes. Okay, good stuff. So this is a good example. You're conveying a bit of a sense of you want to kind of take care. Like I'm trying to take care of you a little bit or taking responsibility for you emotionally by saying, oh, I don't want you doing this. I don't want you thinking about this. I don't want you stressing out over this. Right, right.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yeah, exactly. So very, very good. Very important connection skill.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah. What's our takeaway for today, Michelle?

[Lindsay McMahon]

Oh, well, this is. Yeah, I do think that this is an important connection skill, and there's a lot. It holds a lot of meaning in it. It can mean many different things. It can be more that you're just a responsible adult. It could be that you're comforting someone. It could be that you're warning someone. It couldn't just be showing that you're taking care of someone. Yeah. But overall, I think it's this feeling of you're responsible in some way. You care. Something is on you and you want to express. Express that.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah. It's a very subtle difference between this and saying, oh, please don't do that, or don't do that, or please avoid doing that, or it's really, really subtle. And for our listeners, guys, if you're ready for those subtleties, then run with this. Right. Go and try to make a list of the situations in the last week where this would have made sense for you to say, all right, I love it. And, Michelle, what should we remind our listeners to do right now as they finish up the episode? Where should they go to get on the list?

[Lindsay McMahon]

Yeah, that's all earsenglish.com professional.

[Michelle Kaplan]

All right. And we will let you know very, very soon, especially if you're on that list when the course is available. Can't wait. All right, Michelle. Good stuff. Thanks for being on the microphone today.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Thank you, Lindsay. Have a good one. Bye. Take care.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Bye.

Thanks for listening. To all ears.

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