All Ears English Podcast Episode 2398: How to Choose Your Words for Connection with Marcy Axelrod

Hosts: Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan
Featured Guest: Marcy Axelrod
Release Date: April 28, 2025
Location: Denver, Colorado, USA

Introduction

In Episode 2398 of the All Ears English Podcast, hosts Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan delve into the profound impact of word choice on building connections with others. Featuring Marcy Axelrod, a bestselling and award-winning author, the episode explores how selecting the right words can foster deeper relationships and enhance communication in everyday interactions.

Guest Introduction

Lindsay introduces Marcy Axelrod, highlighting her impressive credentials:

“Marcy Axelrod is a bestselling author, award-winning author, TV contributor, two-time TEDx speaker, and a management consultant. Her latest book, How We Choose to Show Up, is a number one Amazon bestseller and recently received the Hayakawa Book Prize.” (02:20)

Marcy’s expertise lies in understanding the nuances of language and its role in human connection, a subject she has extensively researched and authored on.

Main Discussion

1. The Power of "Do" vs. "Can"

Lindsay poses a critical question to Marcy:

“What are two key ways that we can bring people together, become closer to people, more connected by choosing different English words.” (03:06)

Marcy emphasizes the transformative power of word choice, particularly the shift from using "can" to "do":

“Using the word 'do' instead of 'can' seeds our agency and puts us on the same side of the table. It turns us into a team.” (03:50)

She illustrates this with an example:

“How can we do it?” questions the possibility and separates, while “How do we do this?” implies capability and teamwork. (03:50)

Lindsay seeks clarification:

“So, you're saying that 'how can we do this?' puts us further from our goal, making it more objective and less human?” (04:13)

Marcy confirms:

“Yes, it makes us capable and gives us agency, putting us in the process and the flow.” (04:55)

2. Connecting Through Prepositions: "With and For" vs. "To"

Marcy introduces her second key tip:

“Doing something 'with and for' others, as opposed to 'to' others, is a powerful way to connect.” (06:52)

She explains that using "with and for" fosters a human-to-human relational approach:

“It shows care and brings people together, aligning with a broader purpose.” (07:53)

Lindsay paraphrases:

“Instead of saying 'showing up to a meeting,' saying 'showing up for someone's presentation' implies support and collaboration.” (07:53)

Marcy adds:

“It brings meaning, significance, and care, which changes the energy and fulfillment of the interaction.” (09:07)

3. Personal Journey and Inspiration

Marcy shares her personal story, revealing the roots of her passion for language:

“When I was six, I lost the ability to speak and started to stutter. This forced me to become highly conscious of each word I chose.” (10:17)

She describes words as:

“Words became diamonds” during her challenging experience, highlighting the precision and care required in communication. (11:21)

4. Practical Applications and Final Advice

Marcy offers actionable advice for listeners to integrate these concepts into daily life:

“Recognize that you are impacting the world at every moment. Taking a few deep breaths can reset your energy and enhance your word choices.” (12:59)

She references research by Nicholas Christakis:

“A stranger is 45% more likely to think, feel, and act the way you do. This impact flows through society, affecting multiple layers of interaction.” (14:04)

Lindsay connects this to American cultural tendencies:

“In a culture obsessed with productivity, practices like deep breathing and meaningful interaction can counterbalance the 'get it done' mindset.” (15:34)

Marcy concludes with a holistic approach:

“Feel care within yourself, and the shift to 'with and for' and 'doing' rather than 'can' will naturally emerge.” (11:48)

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Lindsay encouraging listeners to adopt the discussed practices:

“Start with relaxation practices, connect with the earth, and let your language choices reflect your inner care.” (16:04)

Marcy provides her online resource for further learning:

“Visit choosetoshowup.com” (16:30)

Lindsay thanks Marcy for her insightful contributions, reinforcing the podcast’s theme:

“Thank you for challenging us to think in a different way. We hope to have you back soon.” (16:48)

Key Takeaways

1. Choose "Do" Over "Can": Shifting from “how can we” to “how do we” fosters teamwork and a sense of capability.
2. Use "With and For" Instead of "To": This prepositional change enhances relational connections and conveys care.
3. Be Mindful of Your Impact: Recognize that your behavior and word choices influence others more profoundly than you might realize.
4. Incorporate Relaxation Practices: Techniques like deep breathing can help align your language with your genuine intentions.

Further Resources

• Marcy Axelrod’s Website: choosetoshowup.com

By consciously selecting words that emphasize agency, collaboration, and care, listeners are empowered to build stronger, more meaningful connections in their personal and professional lives.