
Get English parenting phrases and learn about parenting styles in American culture
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Lindsay McMahon
This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 24077 Parenting phrases and what they say about American culture. Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, English adventurer and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl coming to you from Colorado and New York City, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward/app.
Michelle Kaplan
Do you have kids or your friends have kids today? Learn common phrases that American parents use and find out which ones you can use among adults in English.
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Lindsay McMahon
Hello, Michelle. How are you?
Michelle Kaplan
I'm good, Lindsay. How are you?
Lindsay McMahon
Good, good. What's going on today?
Michelle Kaplan
Not too much. Not too much. Lindsay, how often are you around little kids?
Lindsay McMahon
Not super often, Michelle. I mean, my niece is growing up now. She is. I think she's 11 now. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So she's not really a little kid anymore.
Michelle Kaplan
I can't. Yeah, cuz my knee. My nephew and your niece are pretty much the same age.
Lindsay McMahon
My.
Michelle Kaplan
My nephew is about to be 12. It's scary, right?
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah. So in terms of little, little kids, I have my niece and nephew on the other side. I think they are like three and six, something like that. So that's the closest thing for me. What about you, Michelle? We know you have young kids.
Michelle Kaplan
I'm around them all the time. Literally all the time. So today we're gonna talk about. This is a fun episode. We're going to talk about some common expressions that parents or any adults use with children. And guys, if you're thinking, oh, I'm not around little kids that much. I. Maybe I should switch to the next episode. Stay here. Because this is really useful. Even if you don't have kids. I mean, you're gonna hear these out and about and in pop culture when you watch TV shows and you're gonna be like, also you might have a niece or a nephew, you might have a friend who has kids. And these are just really, I mean, even like at work, I mean, if you're.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah.
Michelle Kaplan
If your co worker is talking about their kids, these are just really useful to know. And these are what we're going to teach. They're kind of cliches that you're gonna hear, so. Meaning you're gonna hear them a lot. This is not just random things commonly known. So it's really good to know. And also we are going to talk about our opinions of these and, and how they might vary culturally. So it's going to be interesting.
Lindsay McMahon
I love that. And some of these, maybe specifically one or two, are sometimes used kind of facetiously by adults, between adults.
Michelle Kaplan
Right, right.
Lindsay McMahon
And we'll point out the ones that are and we'll see if we agree on that. Michelle. So there's a lot here for everyone, whether you have kids, whether you're an aunt or an uncle or your friends have kids or whether you're just having some banter with another adult.
Michelle Kaplan
Exactly.
Lindsay McMahon
Some of these you would pull out. But Michelle, before we get into it, where can our listeners go if they want to see real time transcripts? What's the best option?
Michelle Kaplan
Okay, awesome. So go on over and listen. Well, to get real time transcripts, you want to get our app, right, Lindsay?
Lindsay McMahon
Yes, Exactly. That's@allersenglish.com app. There's an iOS and an Android version. And when you become a premium member, you get to see real time transcripts of the episode. You get to save words, tap on them to see the definition, and create your personal power list. All right, so we teach a lot of vocabulary on this show every day and we don't want you to get left behind when it comes to some of these words. So save them, become a premium member and save them in your system. Okay. Love it.
Michelle Kaplan
Yep. Go to allersenglish.com app. So let's go through these. And this came to my mind because I always hear this. You ever hear this? Sharing is caring.
Lindsay McMahon
Well, this is the one that I was thinking that adults, adult to adult, could they. We do use this like in a facetious, funny kind of way. Right, right.
Michelle Kaplan
It's so true. It's it's basically. Yeah. When a kid doesn't want to share, you say, let Timmy use the dinosaur. Next. Sharing is caring.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah. So. So that's the most obvious way, the most like on like face value way to use it with a kid.
Michelle Kaplan
Right.
Lindsay McMahon
But then, you know, maybe if you're out to lunch with your coworker and you ordered a thing of salsa, chips and salsa. People love chips and salsa. And. But you ordered it and you're like, here you go. Sharing is caring. You know, something like that.
Michelle Kaplan
Exactly. Or if you're out with your close friend and they have, and they have french fries and you grab one and you could joke and he's like, sharing is caring. Right, Exactly.
Lindsay McMahon
So I love that this is a multi dimensional phrase. Right. But you're, you're being a little jokey when you're saying that with an adult. Right. You know that this phrase is really meant for kids, but you're using it at that level with an adult. Super interesting.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah. Right? Isn't that interesting? Yeah. So, I mean, Lindsay, what do you think about this? I mean, you know, as a parent, I'm always thinking about, oh, if a kid comes over and they want to share with my kid or they want to play with their toys and there's all these philosophies. It's like you want to teach the kids to share, but at the same time you don't want to force them to share everything. Because, because you don't want to. They should know that some things are, are theirs. Yeah.
Lindsay McMahon
You don't want them to become a doormat. Right. We talked about the phrase doormat on the show maybe a few years ago. Yeah, very interesting. I don't know how navigate that, Michelle.
Michelle Kaplan
I mean, I never know what to do. And I think sometimes parents are trying to put on shows for each other. Right. So it's like sometimes I'll want to act a certain way, but I, I feel like I have to show the other parents that I'm trying to teach my kid to share when sometimes I really just want to be like, no, like he should be able to play with that longer.
Lindsay McMahon
Maybe I would ask the kid how they feel about sharing. Do they feel like, how does it feel to share? And when do you feel, do you feel like you share too much or too, like let them sort of develop an inner compass a bit, a bit more outside of what society expects them to do? Right.
Michelle Kaplan
I don't know.
Lindsay McMahon
That's what I would start doing is just asking a lot of questions about.
Michelle Kaplan
How you Feel or I might say, how much longer do you want to play with this? You know, or something like that. But yeah, it's, I mean even, I mean I planned this episode maybe last week and even just last night I was, you know, at a friend's house and my daughter was, I mean my daughter's three and her daughter's one. So mine just kind of plows. Yeah, yeah. So I have to figure out what to, what to do. So. But that's one. And, and again, guys, this is not just, oh, for those who have kids, you know, you, this one you're gonna hear a lot and I think the next one as well can be used a lot. So what is this one?
Lindsay McMahon
Okay, so use your words.
Michelle Kaplan
Right.
Lindsay McMahon
So when a kid gets upset and they just yell and they scream and they cry, a parent might say this. I know, my mom said this all the time to me. Right. Okay, try to calm down. Use your words. Right. Trying to get the kid to articulate what they're feeling and not go to physical like, you know, hitting, kicking, biting, punching, screaming, you know, the more childish ways of acting. Right, right.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah. And I mean you, you might hear an adult just say this like kind of as a joke. I mean, if they're maybe even if they're, even if they're not upset, even if they're kind of having trouble explaining what they want to say, kind of how I am now. No, just joking.
Lindsay McMahon
Use your words.
Michelle Kaplan
So it can be used with adults as well, but again, in kind of a sarcastic, fun, light hearted way. Not in the same way.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, if an adult is really upset, I would be careful saying this to someone who's really upset and they're like punching a wall or something.
Michelle Kaplan
Much more upset.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, there may be a place for that between adults. Yes.
Michelle Kaplan
Right. That would be like, you know, if somebody says calm down when you're upset and that's always the worst thing you can say. Right?
Lindsay McMahon
Trigger. Big time trigger.
Michelle Kaplan
Right, Yep, exactly. But with kids, I mean, I've also, I, I, I don't like saying this to my kids. Sometimes it's tempting because you just want to say use your words. But I don't because what I've, you know, I'm always read, trying to figure out what, what's the best answer. But like that they don't always have the words. They're kids. Right. So you have to more so like actually model it for them.
Lindsay McMahon
So that' yeah, really interesting. Okay, so that's a potential candidate between adults. But certainly if you have like you said, nieces or nephews or kids or parents or friends. Kids. You'll hear this for sure. What else, Michelle?
Michelle Kaplan
And this is, this is good. Say, say. And then something say, please say, excuse me. Say thank you. Say you're sorry.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, this one, I would say we really don't. You know, I would never say this to an adult.
Michelle Kaplan
Please. No, I would not.
Lindsay McMahon
Like we're ordering in a restaurant with a. No, you would never say that to another adult if they didn't say, you know, can I please have a cocktail? You wouldn't, you know, didn't say, please. No, just don't use that with an adult. Right, Michelle?
Michelle Kaplan
No, no, no, no. But you could say, oh, wow, look at that. Beautiful gift. Say thank you.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, Yeah, I like that. I like that. Yeah. Just manner. No, thank you. And I, I always say you can never say thank you often enough. You can never say too many thank yous. Yeah. It's always a good go to.
Michelle Kaplan
Right? Yeah. I mean, Lindsay, do any of these sound familiar from growing up? I mean, you kind of remember like said, sharing is caring. Right.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, my. Not as much that one. Of course. My parents encouraged me to share, but the use your words was all over my childhood. Yes. Because my mom was all about articulating and, you know, getting you to speak and say what you're feeling. Yeah. But it's hard though. It's like a catch 22 if you don't have the vocabulary.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah. Is it just.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah.
Lindsay McMahon
So that's another topic.
Michelle Kaplan
But I also want to bring to light that this is also a good connection topic to talk to people about because you're talking about how perhaps how you grew up learning about somebody's childhood or you know, how they feel. Like even like, let's say you're watching a movie and there's a kid in the movie and you want to make a comment on it and talk with somebody about like how it was their childhood versus yours and what. How were their parents philosophy. So there's so much here.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah. It's an endlessly great topic of conversation because inevitably everyone's parents parented differently. And I've told you before on this show that my mom was a child psychologist. She was an academic, not a. Not an actual counselor, but she did academic research. And her whole thing was that she didn't want to dress me in the color pink because she. Because sometimes you don't know what the baby's gender is. Right. They're so young. They're just sitting there in a bundle of clothing and strangers. She thought would come up to me and change their voice automatically if they knew I was a girl. Like if I was wearing pink and she didn't want the world to reflect gender back to me, like how I should be. You know what I mean? And so she dressed me in like reds and I don't know, browns or something. Non gendered colors.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah.
Lindsay McMahon
So that was.
Michelle Kaplan
You told me that. Yeah, you've told me that. And I always, like, even to this day, sometimes I think about that because that was so interesting to me.
Lindsay McMahon
It's really. So this is a, I've had this conversation with multiple friends and then they'll have some insight on their parents upbring bringing, which is based on what they did in the world. Right. So it's a great connection topic is what I'm. What I'm saying here. Michelle. Yeah.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah.
Lindsay McMahon
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Michelle Kaplan
All right, so where to? So another one is just what do you say? Right? So like we're saying, say you're sorry, say this, say that. Right? So along the same lines, but if I could say, oh, that cookie is delicious, what do you say? Right. So again, probably the adults are not going to say that. But, but you're gonna, you're gonna hear it. Even if you a a shopkeeper or something or you're a shopkeeper. What is this Beauty and the Beast like? No, like, if you're like a. I don't know. If you're like, you know, a barista and you give something, you know. You know, you might hear a parent say that to their kid.
Lindsay McMahon
Yes, yes, for sure. I love that. What do you say? Or wait your turn. Right. So, for example, oh, sweetie, you're cutting in line. Wait your turn. Right? Yeah.
Michelle Kaplan
And then this is a big one. Lindsay, what's the magic word?
Lindsay McMahon
Right, Right. Like you're gon kid something like a cookie. Right. And trying to get kids to. To say please or to say may. May I please have this?
Michelle Kaplan
Yes, exactly. And then I'll share one more. Is polite bite. Have you heard this?
Lindsay McMahon
Oh, I don't know that one at all. This must be a new one.
Michelle Kaplan
I don't like this. I don't like this idea. It's this idea that, you know, you have to try. I mean, it's a good idea. But I don't know, there's. There's so much that I think about, but a polite bite is like just trying something to be polite, even if you don't want it. So just to be nice, just to give it a try, and it's. It's a good idea. But then, I don't know, sometimes I feel weird forcing kids to do things. I don't know.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, that's interesting. Good point. Yeah, that's. That's tricky. Polite bite. That is a new one for me. Okay, good to know. That was not around when I was growing up, I think.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah. I mean, again, we're talking now. Not that you're gonna use all these phrases, but we're also just going through some philosophies, at least in us that people are familiar with growing up, and this idea of being knowledgeable about this so that you can connect with others about this topic. I mean, Lindsay, I mean, what do. What do these types of things say about parenting styles in the US Because I wonder how this is different around the world. Like, are there similar expressions?
Lindsay McMahon
That would be a really good thing for our listeners to do when we finish up is go and make a list of the four most common phrases that kids in your culture our ass are. Are told. And then what does that say about your culture? I mean, to me, it says we're trying to build manners in our. In our children. Right? Teach them manners. We're trying to teach them to. To share, which I think is something that kids who have siblings learn faster probably, than only Children, Right. It's kind of hard unless you're under. Like my niece is an only child, but she's around her cousins all the time.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, right.
Lindsay McMahon
So manners, sharing, like following the rules, showing respect, things like that. Yeah, yeah. Building blocks of a society, I guess, right?
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, true, true. So let's show our listeners how these might be used in a conversation. And we're two friends, we're talking about our kids.
Lindsay McMahon
Okay.
Michelle Kaplan
We're not going to use everything. Okay, cool. Yeah.
Lindsay McMahon
Okay.
Michelle Kaplan
Man, today was tough. Riley got a gift from his teacher and didn't say thank you. I told him say thank you, but he didn't want to.
Lindsay McMahon
Kids are like that. I always say the typical what do you say? Or what do you say? But that doesn't always work with a four year old.
Michelle Kaplan
Oh, tell me about it. Also, Riley has trouble sharing.
Lindsay McMahon
Did you tell him sharing is caring?
Michelle Kaplan
Of course. He gets so upset, so I just say use your words. But he's learning.
Lindsay McMahon
Love that. Love that. Yeah. So this would be another way, this conversation. You, you would build a connection with another parent or an aunt or uncle. Right? I guess aunts and unc get, get the easy way out because we're not required to teach anything. We just spoil the kid, take them out for ice cream and then drop them off back at home.
Michelle Kaplan
Right. Goodbye. Yeah, exactly.
Lindsay McMahon
Okay, so let's go through these, Michelle.
Michelle Kaplan
So I, I'm complaining about my son. And I said, I told him say thank you, but he didn't want to.
Lindsay McMahon
Didn't want to. And then I said, our kids are like that. I always say the typical. What do you say? But that doesn't always work with a four year old, Right? Of course not. Yeah, yeah.
Michelle Kaplan
And then I'm complaining that he has trouble sharing. And you said, did you tell him sharing is caring?
Lindsay McMahon
And then you said, of course. He gets so upset. So I just say, use your words. But he's learning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's so that's good. So this, this is an example, a template for a conversation you might have, like I said, with another parent, maybe a grandparent.
Michelle Kaplan
Right.
Lindsay McMahon
That's when you add grandparents into the mix. It becomes really interesting. What, what is their role?
Michelle Kaplan
Right, right.
Lindsay McMahon
Teaching. You're teaching them.
Michelle Kaplan
That would be a whole other episode. Really interesting stuff there.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah. So another episode, guys, to go to right now is 2381. Listen, today, no pressure, go over and check that one out. Michelle, what's our takeaway for today? Dynamic episode.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, there's a lot to think about here. I mean, this can from everything, from this episode had a little bit of everything. One is just for maybe somebody who does have kids who wants to use some of these expressions. Also for people who don't have kids, maybe they're around kids, maybe not. But this is just also a good way to learn about parenting philosophies and how things are kind of generally done in the culture in the United States. And so a good thing to perhaps, perhaps start a deeper conversation with someone over.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, I love it. And then we also touched on which ones might you hear between adults in certain scenarios. I would be careful with that. I would listen for it and make sure you feel confident with the context. But some of these can be used between adults sometimes. But we know that we're using a kid, a phrase we might say to a child. Right? We know it, but we're taking it out of context. We're being facetious. We're playing around. Yes. This is high, high, high level English. Okay, good stuff. All right.
Michelle Kaplan
Very nice. All right, well, this was fun. Thanks for chatting about this with me today.
Lindsay McMahon
All right, take care, Michelle.
Michelle Kaplan
Bye. All right, bye.
Lindsay McMahon
Thanks for listening. To all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz, go to allearsenglish.com forward/fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.
All Ears English Podcast Episode 2407 Summary
Title: 7 Parenting Phrases and What They Say About American Culture
Hosts: Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan
Release Date: May 13, 2025
Introduction
In Episode 2407 of the All Ears English Podcast, hosts Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan delve into the realm of parenting phrases commonly used in American culture. Aimed at intermediate to advanced English learners, this episode not only explores the linguistic aspects of these phrases but also uncovers the cultural values and parenting philosophies they reflect. Throughout the discussion, the hosts provide practical examples, share personal anecdotes, and offer insights into how these expressions can serve as tools for connection in various social contexts.
Exploring Common Parenting Phrases
Michelle Kaplan kicks off the episode by emphasizing the ubiquity of certain parenting phrases and their relevance even to those without children. She states:
“This is really useful even if you don't have kids. I mean, you're gonna hear these out and about and in pop culture when you watch TV shows...” (03:42)
The hosts identify seven key phrases often directed at children, examining their meanings and applications both in child-rearing and adult interactions.
"Sharing is Caring"
Lindsay McMahon explains how this phrase encourages generosity and cooperation among children.
The hosts discuss its multi-dimensional use, emphasizing that while it's primarily intended for kids, adults occasionally employ it humorously or facetiously. For example:
“Here you go. Sharing is caring.” (05:47)
"Use Your Words"
This phrase aims to teach children to articulate their feelings and needs verbally rather than through physical outbursts.
Michelle Kaplan highlights its occasional use among adults in a joking manner when someone struggles to express themselves:
“If an adult is really upset, I would be careful saying this...” (09:18)
"Say Please, Say Thank You, Say You're Sorry"
Focused on instilling manners and politeness, these expressions are fundamental in American upbringing.
Lindsay shares personal reflections on the significance of gratitude:
“You can never say thank you often enough.” (10:54)
"Wait Your Turn"
Teaches children patience and respect for others' time and space.
Michelle provides a conversational example:
“Oh, sweetie, you're cutting in line. Wait your turn.” (15:53)
"What's the Magic Word?"
"Polite Bite"
Introduces the concept of trying something out of politeness, even if there's reluctance.
Michelle expresses her ambivalence towards this phrase:
“Polite bite... I feel weird forcing kids to do things.” (16:16)
Cultural Insights and Parenting Philosophies
The conversation transitions into a deeper analysis of what these phrases reveal about American cultural values. Lindsay suggests:
“So manners, sharing, like following the rules, showing respect, things like that. Building blocks of a society... ” (17:52)
The hosts invite listeners to reflect on similar phrases in their own cultures, fostering a comparative understanding of global parenting styles. Michelle adds:
“This is just also a good way to learn about parenting philosophies and how things are kind of generally done in the culture in the United States.” (20:15)
Practical Applications and Real-Life Scenarios
To illustrate the practical usage of these phrases, Lindsay and Michelle engage in a simulated conversation between two parents discussing their children's behaviors. This role-play serves as a template for listeners to apply the phrases in real-life interactions.
Example Conversation:
Michelle: “Man, today was tough. Riley got a gift from his teacher and didn't say thank you. I told him to say thank you, but he didn't want to.” (18:14)
Lindsay: “Kids are like that. I always say the typical 'what do you say?' But that doesn't always work with a four-year-old.” (18:22)
Michelle: “And then Riley has trouble sharing.” (18:30)
Lindsay: “Did you tell him, 'sharing is caring'?” (18:34)
Michelle: “Of course. He gets so upset, so I just say, 'use your words.' But he's learning.” (18:36)
This segment underscores how these phrases facilitate communication between parents and can also serve as common ground for bonding over shared experiences.
Personal Anecdotes and Reflections
Throughout the episode, both hosts share personal stories that highlight the significance of these phrases in their own upbringings and parenting approaches. Lindsay reminisces about her mother’s emphasis on articulation:
“Use your words was all over my childhood because my mom was all about articulating and, you know, getting you to speak and say what you're feeling.” (11:17)
Michelle discusses the challenges of teaching these concepts to her children, particularly when children are resistant or lack the vocabulary to express themselves.
Conclusion
In wrapping up the episode, Michelle Kaplan summarizes the dual utility of understanding parenting phrases:
“This can be used for someone who does have kids who wants to use some of these expressions. Also for people who don't have kids...” (20:15)
Lindsay McMahon reinforces the idea that these phrases are not only child-relevant but also valuable for adult interactions, provided they are used appropriately and contextually.
Key Takeaways
Notable Quotes
“Sharing is caring.” (05:30)
Used both in child-rearing and jokingly among adults to promote generosity.
“Use your words.” (08:27)
Aimed at encouraging children to express themselves verbally rather than through physical actions.
“You can never say thank you often enough.” (10:54)
Emphasizes the importance of gratitude in social interactions.
“This is high, high, high level English.” (20:46)
Refers to the advanced application of these phrases in nuanced adult conversations.
Final Thoughts
Episode 2407 of the All Ears English Podcast offers a comprehensive exploration of seven pivotal parenting phrases, unraveling their linguistic nuances and cultural significance. By intertwining practical examples with personal anecdotes, Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan provide listeners with a rich understanding of how language shapes and reflects American cultural values. Whether you're a parent, educator, or English learner, this episode equips you with the knowledge to navigate and connect through everyday English expressions effectively.
Additional Resources
All Ears English App: Access real-time transcripts and create personalized vocabulary lists by downloading the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven-day free trial at allearsenglish.com/app.
English Level Quiz: Determine your English proficiency level by taking the free fluency quiz at allearsenglish.com/fluencyscore.
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