
How to use English words to avoid something
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Aubrey Carter
This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2418 Don't Dance around this English vocabulary.
Lindsey McMahon
Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz and Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, usa. And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com subscribe what is your confrontation style? Do you consider yourself direct or indirect? Or maybe somewhere in between? Today get four ways to express that you are avoiding saying something directly in English.
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Lindsey McMahon
Hello Aubry, what's going on today?
Aubrey Carter
Oh, not too much. It's a beautiful day in Arizona. What about you, Lindsay?
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah, it's a gorgeous day here in Colorado too. I'm feeling good. Aubry, I have a question for you to get into today's episode.
Aubrey Carter
Okay, perfect.
Lindsey McMahon
So are there any topics that you tend to dance around when they come up when you talk with people?
Aubrey Carter
Yes, absolutely. Pretty much anything having to do with politics or or religion depending on who I'm talking to, if I know, really disagree and they're not going to be open minded and it's not going to be a constructive conversation. I will kind of dance around sharing my opinion because I'm not going to outright say, yes, I agree with you, but I'm also not going to really push back a lot. So I'm definitely sort of dancing around the issue.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah, for sure. I would add that to that. Maybe conversations about money. These are all topics that you really shouldn't talk about or you have to nuance the conversation about it in different ways. We've talked about this on the show quite a bit, but in American culture there are definitely certain topics we need to dance around.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, this came when it came up recently and I shared that a friend's mom always said, I'll forgive you for asking if you forgive me for not answering. That's definitely dancing around and answering. You're not answering in a clever way and any criticism of them for asking in the first place when they should not have maybe asked the question.
Lindsey McMahon
So every. We're not talking about dancing here physically. Right.
Aubrey Carter
This is such an interesting phrasal verb, dance around, which in this case has nothing to do with dancing. We got a great question on YouTube about this phrasal verb.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah, super interesting. So I'm going to go ahead and read the listener question. This is from Hussein Jr. 5873. Guys, don't forget we have an entire YouTube channel. More than 200. I think we're at more than 200,000 subscribers at this point. So, guys, go on over to YouTube, type in all ears English and hit that subscribe button if you want to see the video version of these podcasts. Okay, good.
Aubrey Carter
Yes. Right.
Lindsey McMahon
We.
Aubrey Carter
We got dressed and are wearing something fairly nice for a. So be watching on YouTube. Otherwise I would be in my pajamas. Not audio only.
Lindsey McMahon
That's so funny. I love it. All right, here's Hussein's question. I'm asking the phrasal. I'm asking the phrasal verb dance around. Asking about the phrasal verb dance around. Additionally, I noticed that native speakers use phrasal verbs more than normal verbs. And why is this. Okay, good question, Aubrey.
Aubrey Carter
Such a great question. And Hussein is not wrong. We talk about this a lot that we use phrasal verbs so often in English, usually because they're more informal and casual than the other verb that you could possibly use. So we'll talk about that a little bit too today. And we're going to give a few other phrases vocabulary that has the same meaning of dance around.
Lindsey McMahon
I would also say that phrasal verbs, another reason we use them a lot is that sometimes they're more precise.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, that's true. Because we have one verb that often there are more specific nuanced meanings and then we have these different phrasal verbs to have all of those meanings.
Lindsey McMahon
Yep. And that's something that we get in when we into. When we get into the B2C1 level of English. Getting that precision added into our English. So good stuff, Aubrey. Before we go any further through this episode, I want to give a quick shout out to the people that left a review. Our listeners who reviewed the show in the iOS app.
Aubrey Carter
Yes, let's do it.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah, let's see who did it. So, Maram Imami Antony, 2610. Antonella is the name in the review. Moadis 22 and Ralphie 76. Huge thank you to these listeners. And they were all five star reviews by the Way. Aubrey. Amazing.
Aubrey Carter
I was just looking at some of our reviews earlier today, and they really warm my soul. Like, such great feedback. Specific things that they loved about the episodes or people saying they, like, can't start their day without allers. English. I love that. Thank you so much for this great feedback.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah. So if that's true for you and you haven't left a review yet, go ahead and leave a review wherever you listen. Apple podcast, Spotify, the iOS app, the Android app, write your review, and then we'll do our best to announce your name on the show. Okay, good. Yes.
Aubrey Carter
All right, let's dive in here. So this is interesting. Dance around is a really good example of a phrasal verb that's so much more informal than the verb. So the verb is avoid, Right. It means to avoid something. But that is a much more serious formal verb. If I were to say I really avoid conversations about money politics, it's different to say I dance around those issues. Right. I'm not running away from the conversation. Avoid feels so serious.
Lindsey McMahon
It really does. It adds a gravity to the conversation. Dance around is lighter. Right. I imagine being like tap dancing kind of sort of thing.
Aubrey Carter
Right. The visual of dancing around is just not going to be that serious ever.
Lindsey McMahon
So let's talk about examples for dance around. So again, this is to avoid dealing with something directly. And it's usually about a conversation. It's not as much about life choices or decisions we make. Right, Aubry, that's important.
Aubrey Carter
Exactly. So let's give a couple of examples for conversations. We might say he was dancing around it a bit and then finally asked me out. So this happens a lot with dating. You're texting each other, someone's dancing around it because it's. You're putting yourself out there, you're fearing rejection. So you might dance around that a while before you finally ask someone out.
Lindsey McMahon
Exactly. Or I can tell you're dancing around something. Spit it out. So maybe you're trying to say something in a conversation, but you're not really saying it. And this person's saying, just be up front. Right?
Aubrey Carter
Exactly. Right. This happens all the time when you have something to say that might hurt their feelings or might come across as critical. We find ourselves not just saying it directly. We're sort of dancing around it, maybe hinting at something. You might say this, like, stop dancing around it.
Lindsey McMahon
Right. I love it. And then we do have one example which is not about a conversation, which is the more rare way to use it. But let's see about this example. They've been dancing around a merger for some time, but we think it will happen later this year.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. So this is much less common. Yeah.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah.
Aubrey Carter
It's certainly not a rule. You know, it's usually in conversation, but we do hear it sometimes. Something like this, Right. Imagine you've heard rumors, you've heard hints about a merger from your company, but you don't know when it's going to happen. You could say this like, I think they've been dancing around a merger for a while. Sort of just like avoiding dealing with it. Or you just don't know when it's going to happen. So we could use it this way too. But it is much more common that you're talking about a conversation.
Lindsey McMahon
Perfect. I love it. So this is a great one, guys, to add to your repertoire. Add to your back pocket and use it when you mostly in conversation. When you just don't want to directly address something, you're avoiding something.
Aubrey Carter
Okay, Right. We don't want to be so direct. For sure. And then we have another one. Beat around the bush is a fun idiom that sort of has the same meaning. Right. Same as dance around. But we really only use this for conversation because that literally means to like not say something directly. You're sort of saying it in about way or hinting at it.
Lindsey McMahon
I love it. So here's some sample sentences. She was beating around the bush a while before she finally asked me what happened. So again, yeah, like you said, approaching something, going up to the line and not quite saying that.
Aubrey Carter
Right, Exactly. You're hinting. You're like, what do you think about this? But not asking directly. You're beating around the bush.
Lindsey McMahon
What's another example?
Aubrey Carter
You might say, I try not to beat around the bush, but some questions are tough to ask outright. Right. So a lot of us want to be more direct. But then you go to have that conversation and you find yourself dancing around the topic. Beating around the bush because it's. Can be awkward.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah. Because we're human beings. I mean, we have mirror neurons. We are. We know how the other person is feeling and that's normal. I think it's a little sometimes tone deaf when people are so direct that there's no regard to how that might feel for someone or what might be going on for them. So I think that's okay.
Aubrey Carter
Both of these two, this is such a great connection skill to use these to sort of take the awkwardness out of a situation. If you see someone or hear someone dancing around something, you can alleviate that awkwardness, minimize it mitigate it by saying, okay, I see you're dancing around something. Spit it out, just let me know. I can see you're beating around the bush, what's going on. And that will sort of take some of the weight out of what they clearly need to say. That might be a little awkward for them.
Lindsey McMahon
Yes. So true. So true. And another way to say this, and I love today's theme. Right. Just kind of avoiding topics but wanting to talk about it. Sidestep. This is a great one. Avoid dealing with or discussing something. Right. Is what sidestep means.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. It's usually something disagreeable, problematic, really awkward. Right. If you're gonna sidestep something. So maybe you might say, I was able to sidestep the discussion with my mom, but I know we'll have to have it eventually. So for whatever reason you're dreading this conversation, maybe you need to ask her for money, something like that. You might sidestep it a while. You're just avoiding it.
Lindsey McMahon
Good. Here's another one. He totally sidestepped my efforts to talk to him by changing the subject. So someone can sidestep your efforts. Right. Your intention to discuss something as well. That's interesting.
Aubrey Carter
Exactly right. And there is a literal meaning of this as well. If you just step to the side, you could. It's like sidestep, Right.
Lindsey McMahon
It's like moving out of the game, right?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, exactly. And getting out of the way. I had to sidestep. But we use it idiomatically this way as well to mean avoid.
Lindsey McMahon
Super interesting. Super interesting. All right. And the last one, I also love dodge. To dodge. A verb, right? Aubry.
Aubrey Carter
Exactly. Which also means avoid. And we use this both physically and as far as conversations or actions. Right. So you can. If you're playing dodgeball. Right. You're physically getting out of the way. We do this as well with conversations. If you want to dodge a conversation.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah. I think we should do another episode, another day on the expression get out of Dodge. Because it's historical, I think. I'm not sure if it goes back to, like, the Dodge pioneering days. Dodge City.
Aubrey Carter
It probably is about Dodge City in the Old West. In the U.S. yeah, the old west, for sure.
Lindsey McMahon
And I just heard it yesterday on the daily podcast or the Wall Street Journal podcast. So it's very much alive, still being used.
Aubrey Carter
Let's do that episode because that's going to be a really interesting episode. And we'll share related vocabulary as well. Yeah, History, too.
Lindsey McMahon
Right?
Aubrey Carter
History.
Lindsey McMahon
We'll go into the history. A little bit of where it Came from what that time was like and how it's used now. So hit the follow button.
Aubrey Carter
The Old West. I love that.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah.
Aubrey Carter
A couple examples here. You might say she dodged my attempt to discuss her misbehavior. My children do this. They know that I'm talking to them. They're getting going to get in trouble, so they'll do everything they can to try and distract me or change the subject. They're trying to dodge getting in trouble.
Lindsey McMahon
That's pretty funny. That's pretty funny. Artsy, right? Very artsy. Here's the next one. I was supposed to meet my sister last week, but we're fighting, so I dodged her. Meaning maybe your sister tried to text you to confirm or something, and then you kind of avoided that.
Aubrey Carter
Not responding to a text, not answering a phone call, or even if you plan to meet and you just don't go. Any of those could be dodging someone.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah. And it comes back to this, you know, dodgeball, Right? So dodgeball. The point of dodgeball, I guess, is to not get hit, right? Not get hit with the ball. Is that right?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah.
Lindsey McMahon
Am I right?
Aubrey Carter
You're like the one always playing sports, Catch the ball. I love dodgeball. Okay.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's the idea of like we're dodging the ball or we're dodging that text that call that conversation. Okay. Love it. I have learned after so many years as an entrepreneur that speed matters when it comes to hiring, but so does quality. You need the most qualified person on your team fast. Stop struggling to get your job post seen on other job sites. Indeed's Sponsor Jobs helps you stand out and hire fast. With Sponsor Jobs, your job post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster and it makes a huge difference. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. Hiring for me in the past has felt overwhelming. Managing all of the incoming applications, making sure you write the job ad in a way that attracts top talent. That's what I love about Indeed. It speeds up the process and makes it easier. There's no need to wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To get your jobs more visibility@ Indeed.com a, just go to Indeed.com a e e right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com a e e that's I N-E-E-D.com a e e Terms and conditions do apply. Hiring indeed is all you need. All right, Aubrey, let's go into a little role play. So here we are, neighbors.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. You want to start us out?
Lindsey McMahon
Yes. Did you talk to Mike about his dogs barking? I know that's been bothering you, but you've always dodged talking to him about it.
Aubrey Carter
I tried, but you know how non confrontational I am. I just beat around the bush telling him Mary has a new baby that probably needs some quiet.
Lindsey McMahon
It. Did he take the hint? That's definitely dancing around the issue.
Aubrey Carter
I know. And no, he didn't. I definitely sidestepped it. I'm gonna have to be more direct if I want something to change.
Lindsey McMahon
Oh, boy.
Aubrey Carter
This is so me. I am really bad about not being direct. I have every intention of, like, asking, especially if it's going to be awkward. That would be awkward for me to talk to a neighbor about their dogs barking loudly all hours of the night.
Lindsey McMahon
Me too.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. So then I would intend to talk to him about it. And I would totally do this. Beat around the bush, little hints. Oh, I heard so and so has a new baby. I bet it's difficult to get them to sleep all night.
Lindsey McMahon
Oh, no. Yeah, that can be really hard. Me too. It's hard. I mean, to go knock on my neighbor's door and, you know, say something. I can think it would be easy. But then I walk. When I walk over there, it's a different story.
Aubrey Carter
It's so hard because you want nothing but good relations between you. You want nothing but positivity. So it's hard to broach the subject in the first place.
Lindsey McMahon
But like I said, it's very human. It's just absolutely being a human being. So here we use dodged first, our favorite little word. I know that's been bothering you, but you've always dodged talking to him about it. So you've avoided the conversations.
Aubrey Carter
Right. So this is funny because, you know, it bothers me. I've clearly vented to you and you've said, well, why don't you say something to your neighbor? And well, I have excuses. Right. I keep dodging, doing that. I keep avoiding it.
Lindsey McMahon
Right, exactly. And then we use beat around the bush here. You said, I tried, but you know how non confrontational I am. I just beat around the bush telling him that Mary has a new baby that probably needs some quiet.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. This is interesting because beat is tricky in the past tense. So this. I'm describing something I did in the past. Beat is the same present and Past. So this is something that might trip people up, but this I'm saying in yesterday I beat around the bush telling him Mary. And if I'm talking about today, you know, I'm going to beat around the bush. I always beat around the bush because it's the same present and past.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah, that'd be another great episode if we haven't done it yet. Aubry is an episode on verbs that have the same present and past word. Just to recap those. Yeah, that would be great too.
Aubrey Carter
And it is, it really trips up my 10 year olds. Right. They're learning about, you know, all of this in grammar in school, but they're trying to follow patterns. So they're trying to add ed to the end of every verb to make it possible. And it does not always work as you guys learning English now.
Lindsey McMahon
Yeah, interesting. Interesting. Okay, I love that. Yeah, we'll talk about that soon in the show, guys. So make sure you're following the show. Aubry, what did, what did I say next?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, so then you said, did he take the hint? That's definitely dancing around the issue. So you're calling me out on really not asking directly, but in playful way. Right. I would not be offended by this conversation. Like where I'm admitting that I was beating around the bush. You're like, yeah, you were certainly dancing around the issue. But these are so light hearted and fun. Dancing around, like you were saying, imagining tap dancing. There's no offense given here.
Lindsey McMahon
Yes, very interesting. And then the last thing you said is, I know. No, he didn't. I definitely sidestepped it. Right. And so now you're being very explicit about what you did here. You fully avoided it.
Aubrey Carter
It.
Lindsey McMahon
Right? Yeah.
Aubrey Carter
And I could say I definitely avoided it. I definitely didn't ask it. Right. But sidestepped is another fun way to say that.
Lindsey McMahon
I feel like as a takeaway it's important to pull out the cultural piece here. I know that when I was living in Japan, a lot of conversations that I had with my manager at that time, there was a very different conversational style and confrontational style coming from my manager than what I was expecting. Even as a non confrontational person from the US This. So I think being able to acknowledge this cultural difference. Right. If we have a different style of are we direct, are we indirect or anywhere in between, There's a big spectrum, right, Aubrey?
Aubrey Carter
Absolutely. And when I was a nanny in Belgium and a lot of my French friends, I noticed this as well. They were very direct. Okay. Where the point. I was shocked sometimes, right? It would be like, I would never say that to someone, but okay, maybe criticizing something about me or my clothing and they did not see it as offensive or rude.
Lindsey McMahon
Interesting.
Aubrey Carter
Or just more direct? Certainly not every European, but in general I noticed more directness than I was used to in the US Even.
Lindsey McMahon
Fascinating. So this is part of cultural intelligence, right? So if we're traveling abroad for a business trip or even if we're on a on the phone with the New York office from Japan, we just want to have this awareness, right, that there's different levels of directness that we've learned in our culture. And neither right or wrong. It's just very different. And being able to comment on it using this vocabulary is next level operation.
Aubrey Carter
Yes, absolutely. What a great way to connect. I'm excited for you guys to use this vocabulary. Use at least one of these in your next conversation. Love it.
Lindsey McMahon
Good stuff. All right, see you very soon. Have a good day.
Aubrey Carter
See you next time.
Lindsey McMahon
Bye bye. Thanks for listening. To All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to all ears english.com fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.
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All Ears English Podcast: Episode 2418 - "Don’t Dance Around This English Vocabulary"
Release Date: June 2, 2025
In Episode 2418 of the All Ears English Podcast, hosts Lindsay McMahon and Aubrey Carter delve into the intricacies of English vocabulary, focusing specifically on the use of phrasal verbs related to avoiding directness in conversation. This episode, titled "Don’t Dance Around This English Vocabulary," aims to equip intermediate to advanced English learners with nuanced expressions that enhance conversational skills, particularly in delicate or confrontational settings.
The episode opens with Lindsay McMahon introducing the theme of the day: phrases that describe the act of avoiding direct conversation. Aubrey Carter elaborates on how these expressions are more informal and nuanced compared to their more formal counterparts.
[06:12] Aubrey Carter: "Dance around is a really good example of a phrasal verb that's so much more informal than the verb 'avoid'."
Lindsay explains that phrasal verbs often provide greater precision and are commonly used in everyday English, making conversations sound more natural and less rigid.
[04:22] Lindsay McMahon: "Another reason we use them a lot is that sometimes they're more precise."
Dance Around
Beat Around the Bush
Sidestep
Dodge
Lindsay McMahon introduces a listener question from Hussein Jr. 5873, inquiring about the usage of phrasal verbs like "dance around" and why native speakers prefer them over regular verbs.
[03:06] Lindsay McMahon: "Here’s Hussein's question. I'm asking the phrasal verb 'dance around'. Additionally, I noticed that native speakers use phrasal verbs more than normal verbs. And why is this?"
Aubrey Carter responds by emphasizing the informal and precise nature of phrasal verbs, making them a staple in everyday English.
[04:00] Aubrey Carter: "We use phrasal verbs so often in English, usually because they're more informal and casual than the other verb that you could possibly use."
To illustrate the usage of these phrasal verbs, Lindsay and Aubrey engage in a role-play scenario where they discuss addressing a neighbor about noisy dogs. This segment highlights how indirect expressions can be used to navigate awkward conversations.
[15:05] Lindsay McMahon: "Did you talk to Mike about his dogs barking? I know that's been bothering you, but you've always dodged talking to him about it."
[15:14] Aubrey Carter: "I tried, but you know how non-confrontational I am. I just beat around the bush telling him Mary has a new baby that probably needs some quiet."
This role-play demonstrates the subtlety and effectiveness of using phrases like "dodged" and "beat around the bush" to address sensitive issues without causing offense.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing cultural differences in communication styles. Lindsay shares her experiences living in Japan, where conversational norms differ from those in the U.S., highlighting the importance of cultural intelligence in language learning and application.
[19:26] Lindsay McMahon: "Being able to acknowledge this cultural difference... There's a big spectrum, right, Aubrey?"
[19:48] Aubrey Carter: "Yes, absolutely. It's a great way to connect."
They underscore that understanding these differences enhances one's ability to communicate effectively and respectfully in diverse settings.
Aubrey Carter: "Dance around is a really good example of a phrasal verb that's so much more informal than the verb 'avoid'." [06:12]
Lindsay McMahon: "Sometimes they're more precise." [04:22]
Aubrey Carter: "It adds a gravity to the conversation. 'Dance around' is lighter." [06:25]
Lindsay McMahon: "I feel like as a takeaway it's important to pull out the cultural piece here." [18:29]
Aubrey Carter: "Being able to comment on it using this vocabulary is next level operation." [19:48]
Episode 2418 serves as a comprehensive guide for ESL learners aiming to navigate the subtleties of English conversation. By exploring phrasal verbs like "dance around," "beat around the bush," "sidestep," and "dodge," Lindsay McMahon and Aubrey Carter provide listeners with tools to handle delicate conversations gracefully. Additionally, the discussion on cultural differences in communication styles underscores the importance of cultural intelligence in language mastery.
Listeners are encouraged to incorporate these expressions into their daily conversations to sound more natural and fluent. Furthermore, understanding the cultural contexts behind these phrases enhances one's ability to engage in meaningful and respectful interactions across diverse environments.
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