AEE 2419: How to Connect Over Mutual Interests

Summary

All Ears English Podcast: Episode 2419 – How to Connect Over Mutual Interests

Release Date: June 3, 2025
Hosts: Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan
Location: Colorado and New York City, USA
Target Audience: Intermediate to advanced ESL learners, professionals, university students, and ESL teachers

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Introduction

In Episode 2419 of the All Ears English Podcast, hosts Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan delve into the art of connecting with others through mutual interests. Aimed at helping ESL learners enhance their conversational skills, this episode provides practical insights and language chunks centered around the word "mutual." By focusing on shared interests, the hosts demonstrate how to build deeper connections in English-speaking environments.

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Opening Conversation: Establishing Mutual Connections (00:00 - 02:19)

The episode begins with a brief welcome from Lindsay McMahon, highlighting the podcast's extensive reach with over 200 million downloads. Michelle Kaplan introduces the day’s topic, emphasizing the importance of discovering mutual interests to foster connections.

Notable Quote:

Michelle Kaplan (01:20): "Use these today to build deeper connections."

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Defining "Mutual" and Its Importance (03:23 - 04:05)

Aubrey, a co-host, introduces the primary focus: the word "mutual." The hosts discuss its definition and its pivotal role in establishing common ground with others.

Notable Quote:

Aubrey (03:39): "Something that is shared, so it's the same on each side, and we use this for lots of different things. Mutual friends, mutual interests."

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Exploring "Mutual" through Language Chunks (04:06 - 15:58)

1. The Feeling is Mutual (05:05 - 06:14)

The hosts explore the phrase "the feeling is mutual," explaining its use in expressing shared sentiments, whether positive or negative.

Notable Quotes:

Aubrey (05:21): "Someone will be like, I love thrillers. Like, the feeling is mutual."

Michelle Kaplan (06:07): "It can be used in a not so nice way. It's not always mushy, gushy."

2. Mutual Friends (06:14 - 08:50)

Discussion shifts to "mutual friends," highlighting how shared acquaintances can serve as a bridge in conversations and relationships.

Notable Quotes:

Aubrey (06:24): "Maybe you met your partner or another friend through this person. Or maybe on Facebook you have mutual friends."

Michelle Kaplan (07:01): "Actually, we met through a mutual friend."

They engage in mini role-plays to illustrate practical usage, demonstrating scenarios like meeting someone through a mutual friend and leveraging these connections in personal and professional contexts.

3. Mutual Decisions and Agreements (10:36 - 13:03)

The episode covers phrases like "mutual decision" and "mutual agreement," often used in contexts such as breakups or workplace decisions.

Notable Quotes:

Aubrey (10:38): "Sometimes we'll say mutual understanding too. All of these. We hear this sometimes with breakups that they made decision together."

Michelle Kaplan (11:07): "Or a lot of times. Yeah. You hear this with celebrity breakups."

Through role-plays, the hosts demonstrate both sincere and humorous applications of these phrases, enhancing the listener's ability to navigate delicate conversations.

4. Mutual Interests (12:24 - 17:32)

The core segment revolves around "mutual interests," showcasing how shared hobbies and preferences can significantly strengthen connections. Lindsay and Michelle engage in role-plays that depict arranging activities based on common interests, such as sports, music, and travel.

Notable Quotes:

Aubrey (12:36): "So, what are your favorite movies? What types of books do you love? And that starting this connection where what we're actually talking about are mutual interests."

Michelle Kaplan (14:31): "So, Aubrey, what mutual interests you share with your husband, and did you always have those interests?"

Personal anecdotes enrich the discussion, with Aubrey sharing how she cultivated a mutual interest in volleyball with her husband through dedication and practice.

Notable Quote:

Aubrey (15:36): "I dedicated myself. I want this to be a mutual interest. I want this to be something we can do together. So I worked at it, practiced a lot without him, and now we can play together."

Michelle shares her experience of developing a shared passion for travel with her husband, illustrating the evolution of mutual interests over time.

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Practical Applications and Takeaways (17:32 - 19:17)

The hosts wrap up the episode by emphasizing the practical importance of identifying and nurturing mutual interests to build meaningful connections. They encourage listeners to proactively ask others about their interests to uncover shared passions.

Notable Quotes:

Aubrey (18:46): "Plan on asking people what they're interested in, and then you'll find out what you have in common. When you realize what mutual interests you have, that is the best way to connect."

Michelle Kaplan (19:02): "Hope you find people with mutual interests and you can do those interests together."

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Conclusion

Episode 2419 of the All Ears English Podcast effectively breaks down the concept of mutual interests and their role in fostering connections. Through engaging conversations, practical role-plays, and personal stories, Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan equip listeners with the linguistic tools and confidence to connect with others in English-speaking settings. By focusing on shared interests, ESL learners can enhance their conversational skills and build more meaningful relationships.

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Join the Community:
Enhance your English proficiency by connecting with others and practicing the concepts discussed in this episode. Subscribe to the All Ears English Podcast for more insightful episodes focused on everyday English, American culture, and practical language skills.

Resources Mentioned:

• All Ears English App: Get real-time transcripts and personalized vocabulary lists.
  Download for iOS and Android at allearsenglish.com/app

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Connection NOT Perfection!
Embrace the journey of becoming fluent by focusing on meaningful interactions and shared interests.

Transcript

[Aubrey]

This is an Allers English podcast. Episode 2419 how to Connect over mutual interests.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast. Downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com app.

[Michelle Kaplan]

One of the best ways to connect in English is by discover mutual interests. Today we dive into the word mutual and share the language chunks we use it with. Use these today to build deeper connections.

[Aubrey]

Are you still translating from your native language into English in your head? Are you always getting confused between the different grammar tenses? Let's figure out what you need to work on. Find your current English level with our five minute [e-mail] fluency score. Hello, Michelle.

[Michelle Kaplan]

How are you? Aubrey, Good to see you. I'm good. How are you?

[Aubrey]

I'm great. I know this is so fun to record with you. I don't see you nearly enough.

[Michelle Kaplan]

I know, I know. This is such a treat. So, yeah, I'm really excited for today's episode and to get to record with you and spend time with you. So, yes, this.

[Aubrey]

I have a question for you to start us out.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Sure.

[Aubrey]

Know anyone who met their partner through a mutual friend?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Ah, yes, I actually do. I was the mutual friend.

[Aubrey]

Okay. All right.

[Michelle Kaplan]

And I actually introduced them. So that is my biggest claim to fame that my. I was living with, um, this very nice girl. She became my close friend and I had this feeling that she was just a really good fit for my friend, my friend Jonathan from preschool. And now they have two daughters and they've been married over 10 years and. Yeah, so I was the mutual friend.

[Aubrey]

Okay. There are so many things that are impressive about that story. First of all, that you have friends from elementary school. I have not kept in touch with anyone that long from preschool even. That's amazing. And then you were able to set someone up and it worked out and they're now married with children. That's rare. Right. I've tried to set up a lot of friends and it never worked out.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, this is the most. It's very fulfilling when I see, you know, their, their daughters and I just, It's. Yeah, it makes me so happy. So yeah, but see, I'm gonna call you Lindsay.

[Aubrey]

That's okay. If you do, I won't blame you. Lindsay, too.

[Michelle Kaplan]

So funny. Aubrey, today I noticed that you threw out that word mutual friend. So today we're actually going to be talking about the word mutual because it's super common in English. I mean, Aubrey, what does the word mutual, what does that mean?

[Aubrey]

Yeah, I mean something that is shared, so it's the same on each side, and we use this for lots of different things. Mutual friends, mutual interests. So I'm excited to dive into this and give you guys lots of ways because this is an amazing thing to connect about in English. When you have something. Something in common, half the work is done for you. Right. You're talking about mutual tastes in film or books. Like, that's a great conversation.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Such a good point. I mean, this is. Yeah, it's just a good. This word is also just a good mindset to be in for connection. Right. So that's a really good point. And I. I feel like I. You've already said some of them, and because I agree with you, I hear them a lot of the times. You can use the word mutual totally on its own, but there are a lot of chunks with this word. So we're going to be going through four main ways that you hear the word mutual that are really common and that can help you with that connection. So we're actually going to do a lot of mini role plays today. Aubry.

[Aubrey]

Yes. I'm excited for this because you're right. We use this in chunks. We don't often just, you know, see, hear it on its own. There are specific words we collocate it with. So this is going to be great, you guys hit follow right here on the podcast. If you like our style. Right. Connection, not perfection.

[Lindsay McMahon]

We.

[Aubrey]

We want to show you how to connect with others in English. So hit follow wherever you listen to podcasts, to all ears, English.

[Michelle Kaplan]

All right, awesome. So, Aubrey, what is the first one?

[Aubrey]

Okay, this first one is the feeling is mutual. We say this when we agree with someone or feel the same way about something as they do. I say this a lot. Someone will be like, I love thrillers. Like, the feeling is mutual.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes. It's just a fun way to say I agree or I have the same feelings. I mean. So, Aubry, let's do a little. Little role play.

[Aubrey]

Okay. I'll start us out. Okay. I feel so lucky that we have been friends for all these years.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Oh, Aubry, the feeling is mutual. You're a great friend. Yes.

[Aubrey]

And I really love that here, because if you just say, me, too, or, like, ditto, there's not a lot of care there. Whereas you can build the connection here by saying something a little more meaningful. Like, the feeling is mutual. Right. It means that I feel the same.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Or let's do one more. Here we go. I never felt like she and I were meant to be friends.

[Aubrey]

Well, clearly the feeling is mutual. She just walked right past you.

[Michelle Kaplan]

So it can be used in a not so nice way. It's not always mushy, gushy, Right, Exactly.

[Aubrey]

It can be negative feelings that are mutual. Right. Dislike someone, they clearly don't like you. The feeling is mutual.

[Michelle Kaplan]

That's right. That's right. Okay, so the next one is the one that we already were talking about earlier today. Aubry, which is a mutual friend. Friend. So what is a mutual friend, Aubrey?

[Aubrey]

Yeah. This is a shared friend, right? So maybe you met your partner or another friend through this person. Or maybe on Facebook you have mutual friends. This is always interesting when I add a new friend that I met somewhere, and then I can look and see what mutual friends we have. And I'm like, I'm curious, how do they know them? Right. We didn't go to the same school. We haven't lived in the same places. It's crazy to see all of these mutual connections.

[Michelle Kaplan]

That's right. It's a small world, right? So here, let's do. Let's do a couple mini role plays here.

[Aubrey]

All right, I'll start us out. So how did you meet Brad? You guys seem to be such a perfect match.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Actually, we met through a mutual friend.

[Aubrey]

That is amazing. And this would just mean that you and Brad both had a friend. You both knew them, but you didn't know each other, and they introduced you.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Or maybe. Yeah, right. Exactly. And maybe they didn't. My story is kind of unique that I actually set them up. But it doesn't have to be that that person set you up. It could be you are at a party and they have. Right. So it doesn't have to be a big matchmaking situation.

[Aubrey]

Exactly. Right. This can be. Maybe you were both at the park at the same time. How do we. Oh, well, we just were both there and we had a mutual friend, so we started chatting.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes, exactly. All right, here's another one. What makes you think you will get a job interview? You seem so confident.

[Aubrey]

Well, the hiring manager and I have a mutual friend, so I think I will at least get an interview.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Oh, I see.

[Aubrey]

You got that personal connection. It doesn't hurt Yep, yep, yep.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Exactly. So, Aubry, have you ever gone on a date with someone you met through a mutual friend?

[Aubrey]

Absolutely. I think this is super common, Right. Because they're already vetted a little bit. Like, you know, if your friend knows them, trust them, they're at least safe. Shouldn't be super weird, right? If they are friends with someone you already know and trust, this gives you that little bit of a level of knowing. Like, this can't be too terrible if my friend likes them.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes. I also remember going out with a guy who was a mutual. Wait, who? We had a mutual friend. It's hard to think. Yeah.

[Aubrey]

But then it would be awkward if it went really terribly and your friend, Your mutual friend asks, like, how did it go? And it wasn't good. How honest are you? Right. Because they're still friends.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Exactly. So mine didn't work out. But that's all right. Um, found the right person for me.

[Aubrey]

All right. And that's what matters.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Exactly.

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[Michelle Kaplan]

All right. So, Aubrey, what's the next one?

[Aubrey]

All right, the next one is a mutual decision or a mutual agreement. Sometimes we'll say mutual understanding too. Right? All of these. We hear this sometimes with breakups that they made decision together. Right. They both. It was the right time to end it. We said that the feeling Was mutual or the decision was mutual.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yep. Right. So. Or a lot of times. Yeah. You hear this with celebrity breakups. I'm thinking, right, that it was a mutual, you know, a friendly breakup, a mutual decision. Right.

[Aubrey]

Conscious uncoupling was what Gwyneth Paltrow had called it when it was like, this is conscious uncoupling. It was a mutual decision.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right, right. Okay, so let's do a role play here.

[Aubrey]

Okay. I'm so sorry about your breakup.

[Michelle Kaplan]

It was okay. I mean, it's okay. It was a mutual decision. It just wasn't the right fit.

[Aubrey]

So you got fired.

[Michelle Kaplan]

All right, this is. Sorry, sorry.

[Aubrey]

I could see making this joke actually breaks up and then you're like, so they fired you. You know, like, we kind of make these jokes comparing a relationship to a job when it ends. Like, okay, so who fired who?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right, right, right, right, right. Exactly. Separate role play. So, okay, here we go. So you got fired.

[Aubrey]

No, actually, I quit. Well, I guess it was a mutual agreement.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Oh, okay.

[Aubrey]

Yeah. So both sides, right? You're ready to quit, but also, you know, they're firing you. So the decision is mutual.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Exactly, exactly. So. And then the last one is mutual interest. Now, Aubry, you kind of. You brought this one up right at the beginning. It was one of the first ones that you were talking about, the collocations, and that one kind of popped out of your mouth. So I guess that you feel like this is a pretty common one. Right.

[Aubrey]

Well. And definitely the best one for connection. Right. I totally. Mutual interest with friends all the time. Right. You want to find out what you have in common so that you can chat about it.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Exactly. So. Right. Let's show how this would look.

[Aubrey]

All right, here's a role play. I'll start us. Should we get the kids together over spring break?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes. They should definitely meet. It seems like they have a lot of mutual interests.

[Aubrey]

Yes. Sports, music. They'd get along for sure. This is really big, Especially as my kids start getting older. They're not automatically friends with every other kid. They need to have some mutual interests or they're not going to want to do the same things.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right, right, right. Yeah. Because for my kids age, they all.

[Aubrey]

Like playing at the playground. They have. Yeah. It's a given.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right, right, right, right. Exactly. So, but yeah, so here we're saying this. I mean, look at this. This is all about connection, right? We're saying we're trying to get our kids together. Oh, what are the mutual interests? So really huge. You can find what people have in common and Build the connection that way.

[Aubrey]

And an interesting note here is we wouldn't really say, like, what are our mutual interests? To someone.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Right.

[Aubrey]

That doesn't really build the connection. That feels sort of formal and like, we're being a little too. Like we've planned out trying to build this connection. Instead, we say things like, what are your favorite movies? What types of books do you love? And that starting this connection where what we're actually talking about are mutual interests.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Mutual interests.

[Aubrey]

But we usually, you know, we wouldn't, like, say, what, do we have any mutual. Mutual interests?

[Michelle Kaplan]

No, it's more of a commentary after the fact. Oh, wow. We have a lot of mutual interests, right?

[Aubrey]

Exactly. Yes.

[Michelle Kaplan]

So here. Here's one more role play. I love my hiking club.

[Aubrey]

Oh, yeah. Great.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah. And the whole group isn't just about hiking. Everyone has so many mutual interests. So we can find other things to do together. You should come one day.

[Aubrey]

I'd love to. Yeah. This is perfect where you're talking about the group. You've already had those conversations. You've connected with all of these people and found out what you have in common and that you have all these mutual interests.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Exactly. So, Aubrey, what mutual interests you share with your husband, and did you always have those interests? It's always interesting because sometimes, like, I have a friend, she and her husband, they like to hike all the time. And I asked her the other day, did you both come into it loving to hike or did one kind of start it off? And she said that her husband started it off and now she's a huge hiker. So. Yeah. Do you have. Did you have a lot of mutual interests?

[Aubrey]

That is a great question. We did have some mutual interests. Volleyball is a good example of something we did not have in common. Right. He was very good at volleyball. I. I enjoyed it, but was not good. Hadn't really played, and I wanted to be able to play with him. But volleyball is a sport where if you're not playing at the same level, it's sort of not that fun for people to play who are really skilled with someone who's brand new and doesn't have a lot of control. So I sort of dedicated myself. I want this to be a mutual interest. I want this to be something we can do together. So I, like, worked at it, practiced a lot without him, and now we can play together. So I kind of forced it to be a mutual interest. There you go. I really love it.

[Michelle Kaplan]

That's good. There you go. That's great.

[Aubrey]

What about you? Do you guys have mutual interests?

[Michelle Kaplan]

We like to eat.

[Aubrey]

We. Same.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes, we like to travel. And he. Dan always liked to travel, but I definitely kind of put him on the path of, like, really, you know, going abroad and things like that.

[Aubrey]

So.

[Michelle Kaplan]

But now that's a huge mutual interest of ours.

[Aubrey]

Well, here's the question. What is something that you wish were a mutual interest, you and your husband, that, like, he's not interested in and you can't get him to be? Do you have anything like that? I have an example.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Okay, let's hear your.

[Aubrey]

Think of something.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Okay.

[Aubrey]

So my husband really doesn't love to travel. Like, I. We would travel way more if it were up to me. And part of it is because we have kids, we can't really afford to go with them. How much do we leave them? So I'm hopeful that will be a mutual interest once, you know, our kids are older, we're not paying for college. We'll see, because I think the potential is there. But often I'm like, let's go out of the. Out of town this weekend. Let's go here. And he's like, yeah, maybe. No.

[Michelle Kaplan]

A. Yeah. Yeah. That's tough. Well, maybe. Yeah, it could change. It could change. Yeah. Yeah. For me, I guess, like, Dan, he likes. I'm just thinking he does, like, like music, but he, like. It would be good if we could, like, play music together, because he can play some music. But I guess it would be cool if we had, like, the mutual interest of performing.

[Aubrey]

Oh, yes. Cole and I actually have that. He plays the guitar, the banjo, and the ukulele, and I write. I'll, like, write poems, and we'll turn it into a song and perform it together. And my voice isn't that great, but it's still fun to do. His voice is really good.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Oh, that's so cool. Yeah. I also like to write and. Yeah. So. All right. Well, I have.

[Aubrey]

I feel like this is a really good example for you guys of how you can connect. Like, Michelle and I just connected. We, like, built this deeper bond over the things that we have in common, our mutual interests, but also talking about the mutual interests we have with our partner with other people in our lives. This really is an amazing thing for conversations, for connect so much.

[Michelle Kaplan]

It's like the. The possibilities are endless. And, you know, I thought there is one more that I wanted to talk about. I'll leave a little teaser, and that's mutually exclusive, but we'll do that on another episode because that is definitely a good one to say something is or isn't mutually exclusive.

[Aubrey]

That might even be on business English. So be sure you're following here on Allers English and business English, because sometimes a phrase like that we use in daily conversations and also a lot at work. So make sure you're following both podcasts.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Exactly. Great idea, Aubrey. So, guys, if you want to listen to another great episode about connection, check out episode 2391. That was how to connect over Coffee habits in English.

[Aubrey]

So that is a great thing to connect about too, right? Asking people how they take their coffee. Absolutely. Yeah.

[Michelle Kaplan]

All right. All right, well, anything you want to add for the takeaway today?

[Aubrey]

Oh, man, I'm really happy that you guys heard this episode because this is a skill that you need for connection. Plan on asking people what they're interested in, and then you'll find out what you have in common. When you realize what mutual interests you have, that is the best way to connect.

[Michelle Kaplan]

All right, well, this was so much fun, Aubry. I can't wait to do another episode with you and everyone. Thank you so much for listening and hope you find people with mutual interests and you can do those interests together.

[Aubrey]

Absolutely, yes. Or at least chat about it. Right? Awesome.

[Michelle Kaplan]

That's Michelle.

[Aubrey]

I'll see you next time.

[Michelle Kaplan]

All right, thanks. Bye, Aubry.

[Aubrey]

Bye.

[Lindsay McMahon]

Thanks for listening. To all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz, go to allearsenglish.com forward/fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit the subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.