
Learn how to use the word actually in English
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Aubrey Carter
This is an Allers English podcast, episode 2421. You are actually going to love this episode.
Michelle Kaplan
Welcome to the All Ears English podcast downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American host, Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl and Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz coming to you from Arizona and New York City, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the Allears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward/app.
Jessica
This may actually be the most useful episode here all year. Today you'll learn four different ways to use the word actually to connect in English.
Aubrey Carter
Are you still translating from your native language into English in your head? Are you always getting confused between the different grammar tenses? Let's figure out what you need to work on. Find your current English level with our five minute quiz@allearsenglish.com fluency score. Hey Michelle, how's it going?
Jessica
Hi, Aubry, how are you?
Aubrey Carter
Excellent. I have a fun question for you here.
Michelle Kaplan
Yes.
Aubrey Carter
Do you like the movie Love? Actually, I know we've mentioned this film on that. Yeah. On the podcast before.
Jessica
Yes, we have. And yes, I do, I do love it. I do know and I, I'm sure you feel the same way. I know there are certain things when you watch it, they're a little cringy now. Right. A little cringy. But I don't know, sometimes to me when I see something from the past like that, I, I, I still, I, even though it bothers me, I. True. Yeah. Because yeah.
Aubrey Carter
In the, the time frame that it was made.
Jessica
Right. I don't want it to get destroyed for me. And I mean there are, you know. So anyway, do you like issue. Yeah.
Aubrey Carter
I have with it actually is the fat shaming. So like the prime minister's secretary. There are all these comments like making fun of her for being heavy.
Jessica
Right. Right.
Aubrey Carter
She's not, she's.
Jessica
No, no, not at all.
Aubrey Carter
And even if she were not. Okay. Like I feel very strongly about. Yeah but and it, so it just seems strange. It seems kind of out of place. I'm just like what? And also. No, but almost everything else that anyone else would have a problem with. I'm like you, I'm like, it's fine.
Jessica
I mean it's just, I, I agree with you. Right. There are certain things that are not, you know, that didn't hold up. Well, I think Lindsay and I have done a whole episode on that. Like, what didn't age well. But, you know, you can either enjoy something or not.
Aubrey Carter
I mean, well, and that's such a great thing to talk about anyway. Like, I love conversations about whether something has held up. Jessica and I were talking about the movie so I married an ex murderer with Mike Myers. She watched again, was like, it did not hold up. I'm like, oh, no. Because I loved it when I was younger. So this guy is have conversations about this. If you rewatch something and it didn't hold up, it's not as funny, it's not as entertaining, whatever. What a great way to connect with somebody. Ask them, like, do you think it held up? Have you watched it recently?
Jessica
Right. And I'm looking for that episode, but I can't find it right now. But. But yeah, we definitely. We talked about this. This is a huge connection topic, so. Well, today we are not talking about that topic.
Aubrey Carter
We are talking about the word. Actually, this is interesting because the movie, it's called that because at the end he says love actually is.
Jessica
Is all around.
Aubrey Carter
So it is related because the word actually and we use this word constantly in English.
Jessica
I. I think I probably have said it five times since the episode started without even thinking about it. So, Aubry, this question comes to us from YouTube from Poly129 and it says it's it. There was one comment about the episode and then it says, wow, an episode about actually would be of great interest. So thank you so much, Poly129, for bringing that topic to our attention. I think we spoke about it on an episode we said we need to do an update on, actually, because this is so such an important and common word and it's used in so many different ways that we're going to break down today. So we may end up doing some sort of miniseries on this. We're going to see how it goes and what we still feel we need to cover. So, Aubrey, what do you think?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, I love that because I use this a lot. I hear this a lot. And I agree we use it in lots of different ways. So be sure to hit follow in case we make this a series. Right. We. We really enjoy doing this where. And some of the series are both here on Allers English and business English.
Jessica
Yeah.
Aubrey Carter
So be sure hit follow on both podcasts.
Jessica
That's right. So in general, I would say that actually is kind of about being surprised or that something is really or. Or. Or shocking in some way. But One other way that it's used is to kind of pull back or hedge. Right. And that's really helpful and important for daily life. So. So, Aubrey, what do you think about that?
Aubrey Carter
Okay. Yeah. Let's give some examples of how we do that. I agree. I do this a lot. Might say. I was actually hoping we could go to the beach one more day before we leave and. Yeah. This is softening just a little bit, this request. Right. I'm not saying we need to go to the beach before we leave.
Jessica
Right, right.
Aubrey Carter
I was actually thinking, actually.
Jessica
Yeah. Or here's another way you could soften. You could say, let's actually leave a little early, earlier, if that's okay. So.
Aubrey Carter
Because if you look at the difference, if you just say, let's leave a little earlier, if that's okay.
Jessica
Right.
Aubrey Carter
It is a little more harsh, a little more blunt. You're not respecting someone else's time. So we just add this word, actually, to hedge, to soften so that we don't seem so demanding.
Jessica
Right, Right, right, right. And I feel that there is a bit of thinking in the moment when you use it like this. Oh, let's actually leave a little earlier, if that's okay. It's almost like, oh, I'm actively thinking, and this is naturally coming out, so. But another way we use it is to correct something that is wrong. Right?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. You're like. If you're giving directions, you might say, turn right, actually. Sorry, Turn left. So it's the way you're interrupting yourself and sort of saying, scratch that. Never mind.
Jessica
Actually, yes. Actually, I was just with my parents and we were trying to get to a store, and my GPS was. Had no idea where I was. Does that ever happen to you, Aubrey? Absolutely no clue. It kept on giving me all sorts of. Yeah. So I felt like that's what my GPS would have been wanting to say. Actually do this, actually do that.
Aubrey Carter
Yes. Right. It's like showing that you're in a lake or something. It's not mapped out. You're in the middle of the. Of nowhere. It's like actually drive out of the lake.
Jessica
Right.
Aubrey Carter
What's happening?
Jessica
Yes. Yes. It's so weird how that happens, so. Or it could say, this looks good to me, actually. The date on here needs to be fixed, so I'm correcting something that was wrong.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, you thought it looked good, then you notice something. So there are a lot of ways we can say this. Right? Never mind. There's so many things, but actually is a good one, actually. Wait. Just kidding. This is wrong.
Jessica
Or you could say, actually, I live in New Jersey, not Pennsylvania. So I do live in New Jersey. So I'm imagining if you said to me, aubrey, if you said, oh, yeah, have you been going a lot out a lot in Pennsylvania? Or how do you like spending Pennsylvania so far now that you moved there? I could say, oh, actually, I live in New Jersey, not Pennsylvania. Right.
Aubrey Carter
And this is actually a really polite way to correct an incorrect assumption. This happens a lot. Right. Maybe you misgender someone. Maybe. Yeah. You don't. You say something wrong. You call their child the same name. Right. It's a polite way. Oh, actually her name is Ellen. Right. Instead of a more harsh correction that might break the connection. This is a great way to save the connection when you're correcting someone.
Jessica
Right. That's such a good point. And I didn't even think about that. It just is a little bit softer when you're thinking about just telling somebody that they are wrong. So that's nice. I mean, so you can see, though, Ari, that this is such a functional word and it's very versatile, and we're gonna go over more ways that we can use this, especially for connection after the break.
Aubrey Carter
Yes.
Michelle Kaplan
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Aubrey Carter
All right. So we also use this to compare something. Right. So let's look at how this Might work.
Jessica
Mm. All right. I know it looks cold outside, but it's actually not too bad with a coat on.
Aubrey Carter
Exactly. And what's interesting often actually is not necessary in the sentence. We absolutely could say, I know it looks cold outside, but it's not too bad with a codon. It has the exact same meaning. So it's interesting to think about why we're adding. Actually, here it is a little bit of that surprise. Right. I was kind of surprised. Oh, actually it's not bad with a codon.
Jessica
Right, right, right. It looks bad. And we're comparing it. We're comparing how it looks to the act, to the actual, to the reality. So. And yeah. And I like that you brought as well, because some. That it's surprising as well, because sometimes this word has more than one of the functions we're talking about. It's a little bit surprising, and it's kind of comparing perception versus reality. So there's. There's so much within this one word here. Here's another example. She actually eats more veggies than her brother.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. So that might be kind of surprising. Right. This. I probably use it this way the most. If you're trying to make a comparison, but you want to make it a little more interesting, be like, might think I'm, you know, that I would hate horror movies, but actually, I'm a huge fan. This is a great way to add interest to whatever you're saying. You could say that in a much more boring way. Be like, yeah, I know a lot of people don't like horrors, but I do like them. Right. When you add, actually. And you're giving yourself more words to emphasize, too, to vary your intonation.
Jessica
True, actually. Right.
Aubrey Carter
Yes.
Jessica
Do Aubrey, who's the best eater of all your kids?
Aubrey Carter
Probably my eldest. She's pretty good about. And she wasn't difficult when she was little. Oh, and my younger kids, they just snack. They will sneak snacks, so then they're not hungry for dinner. They're really bad about that. I need a lock on the snack cabinet.
Jessica
I know. I've been thinking about getting one of those the kitchen's closed signs or something. Not that they would actually pay attention to them, but my kids, they. They storm in from school. I want a snack. I want a snack. I want a snack. I want a snack. And. Yeah. It's just.
Aubrey Carter
I tried. I'm like, you can have a veggie or a fruit or yogurt, because anything else is going to kill their appetite. I mean, we're having dinner in three hours. You're not going to be hungry.
Jessica
Right, right, right, exactly. So, and then last one, lastly, I just wanted to bring up this way, this is about that, that shocked or surprised feeling that you have about something. So I might say to Aubry, you actually said that, wow, you're brave. Right. So I'm surprised. Right. She said she maybe she stood up to someone that I was afraid of. And I'm saying she's brave. Right.
Aubrey Carter
So this is funny because I feel like often when you say this, the person's going to respond and say, well, no, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it or but I said this. Right. They're like. Because often you're exaggerating. You're like wanting to tell a good story. So if you say to someone, did you actually say that? I feel like 98 of the time the answer is like, well, no, I didn't actually say that.
Jessica
Right, right, right, right. That's so I caught it. That's so true. I feel like that just happened to me the other day, so. Or what's another example?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, you might say, wow, we are actually going to be on time for once. This is a really passive aggressive way to tell someone who's always late that you're like, surprised they weren't late for once.
Jessica
Right, right, right. Oh, you're actually on time.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, look at that. We're actually going to be on time. Shocker.
Jessica
Or this one is I hate olives. But I could say I. If, let's say I found an olive I liked, which would never happen, but I could say I usually hate olives, but I actually like these ones.
Aubrey Carter
Oh, interesting. I love every olive. So you and I, this is not a mutual interest?
Jessica
Not a mutual interest.
Aubrey Carter
I love olives.
Jessica
Oh. If even, if even something, if an olive has touched something in a salad and I, I can taste like the residue on the salad, even that's too much for me.
Aubrey Carter
I have a feeling a lot more of our interests agree with or listeners agree with me than you, Michelle. I think this should be the poll question today.
Jessica
Yeah.
Aubrey Carter
Do you think it's crazy that Michelle hates olives? Yes or no? Come and answer that full on Spotify. I want to know.
Jessica
Perfect. Perfect. Definitely. So let's just do a short review before we. Because we taught a lot of information today. So let's just kind of go through and review. So one way that we spoke about was to hedge. Right? Oh, I was actually hoping we would do this.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. Yes.
Jessica
To soften. Or what was the other one? Aubry.
Aubrey Carter
To correct something that Is wrong or an incorrect assumption, I'd be like, oh, you know, actually my name is Aubry. A lot of people call me Audrey with a D. Oh, actually, it's Aubry. And I'm trying to say that really politely.
Jessica
And you're keeping the connection while correcting someone. Another thing is you could talk about comparing things. Right. Perception versus reality. It looks cold, but it's actually not too bad.
Aubrey Carter
Yeah. And lastly, to compare something, talking about what it's really like. Right, right. You know, it looks cold, but it's actually quite nice out.
Jessica
Right. Or when you are shocked or surprised. So you actually said that. You're so brave. Should we do a role play, Aubry?
Aubrey Carter
Yeah, let's do it. We are on vacation together. It's our last day of vacation. That's always sad when you. When you hit the last day of vacation.
Jessica
Oh, do you ever. Do you like. There's always kind of this unsaid, strange feeling that starts coming up maybe the last half of a vacation. Do you feel it? Do you start feeling it towards the end? Or do you just kind of. Are you able to.
Aubrey Carter
It's the same with a. You have, like, the rising action and the climax in the middle.
Jessica
Yeah.
Aubrey Carter
Oh, we feel it ending. You have this. Yes, absolutely. I think we've all been there.
Jessica
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Aubrey Carter
All right, I'll start us. Ready? So what should we do on our last day?
Jessica
I actually think we should just go back to the shops.
Aubrey Carter
You actually want to do that? We have shops at home.
Jessica
Well, there was this one place I wanted to check out. Wasn't it called Leah's Jewelry?
Aubrey Carter
Oh, that place. Actually, it's Leia's Jewels.
Jessica
Oh, right. Yeah. I don't normally shop that much, but I actually want to go back there. Then we can get lunch.
Aubrey Carter
Actually, that's a good idea. There's great restaurants on the strip there.
Jessica
Sounds like a plan.
Aubrey Carter
Nice. This is definitely a conversation I've had with a friend because I hate shopping. And they'll always want to shop and look for souvenirs and then let's go check these places out again. I'm like, I'd rather do anything else.
Jessica
That's funny. No, I like.
Aubrey Carter
I'd rather die.
Jessica
Well, I like going shopping if it's. It's cute. Local shopping. I remember I was on vacation somewhere once, and I was shocked because the. It was all chain stores. And I thought that. I'm like, where's the area where you get the cute local artists and the. You know, that. That's what I like when I. So I do like shopping, but not for things that I can find at home.
Aubrey Carter
My favorite is in Rocky Point. The, like, vendors will walk along the beach. And so I'm like, yes, I just am gonna buy, like, a little bracelet for my daughter from this, and then I don't have to go to the shops.
Jessica
That's. That's perfect. That's perfect. I get a little. Sorry. Yeah, sorry.
Aubrey Carter
I couldn't chat forever. Right?
Jessica
I know. Okay, here we go.
Aubrey Carter
So first you said, I actually think we could just go back to the shops. So this is hedging a little bit, right? You're kind of putting forward this idea of what you might like to do, but stop. You're not being demanding. You're trying to say what you'd like to do without, like, being bossy or demanding.
Jessica
Right, Right. And then you are like, what you said. You. You actually want to do that.
Aubrey Carter
We have shops out expressing surprise here. Right. You actually want. That's kind of a rude. That's not the nicest way to say that.
Jessica
That one's aubry. That wasn't so nice.
Aubrey Carter
Right. I would probably instead be like, really? But there are shops at home. Right. To say you actually want to do that is very critical and judgmental of what they've just said. Right.
Jessica
And then I'm asking about the name of the store I'm trying to remember, and I said, wasn't it Leah's Jewelry? And you said, oh, that place. Actually, it's Leia's Jewels.
Aubrey Carter
Right.
Jessica
So you're correcting me.
Aubrey Carter
Exactly. And this is a polite software way. Oh, actually, it's. It's this instead of, like, you're wrong. It's Leia's Jewels, you silly person.
Jessica
How could you think that? Right.
Aubrey Carter
And then you said, I actually want to go back there. Yeah. Oh, man. So many. Oh, and then the last one. Actually, that's a good idea. And it's funny because sometimes when we have the same word in one role play, like this, it would feel like, wow, we're saying actually a lot with this word. I don't know that it does because we use it so often in so many ways.
Jessica
Yep. I was. I was thinking the exact same thing. I have so many times. You know, Lindsay and I will be doing a role play. And I said, I. We wouldn't. We wouldn't actually do this.
Aubrey Carter
Right. We wouldn't actually say actually this many with. Actually, yes, we actually would.
Jessica
We actually.
Aubrey Carter
We actually would say it this much in one conversation.
Jessica
And actually, I have an episode that I recommend Our listeners check out next, which was episode 2333. That was vocabulary. That is worth the trouble.
Aubrey Carter
Nice. Awesome. This is such a great episode. I kind of want to count how many times we said the word actually in the episode and share that in a future episode. We could have you guys guess how many times do you think we actually said actually in this episode? Yes.
Jessica
Yes, Yes. A lot. A lot, a lot. Well, this was so much fun. And I mean, take away, this is just a huge word for connection. This word is thrown out constantly, all the time. You know, don't worry about. I mean, don't say it every. Every other word, right? But if it makes sense, and there are so many times when it does make sense to use it, you're going to hear it everywhere. So go for it.
Aubrey Carter
And yeah, and like we said, yeah, it's really important to soften criticism, soften corrections. If someone makes an assumption, you can either make them feel really uncomfortable by how you correct them, or if you throw in a word like actually and soften it, you can save connection.
Jessica
Awesome. All right, well, this was fun, Aubry and I'll see you next time.
Aubrey Carter
Yes. Awesome. See you guys next time. All right, bye.
Michelle Kaplan
Thanks for listening. To all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz, go to allearsenglish.com forward/fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to be make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.
Podcast Summary: All Ears English Podcast - Episode AEE 2421: "You Are Actually Going to Love This Episode"
In Episode 2421 of the All Ears English Podcast, titled "You Are Actually Going to Love This Episode," hosts Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan delve into the multifaceted usage of the word "actually" in American English. The episode, released on June 5, 2025, aims to enhance listeners' understanding of this common yet versatile word, providing intermediate to advanced English learners with practical applications to improve their conversational skills and cultural fluency.
The primary focus of this episode is to explore the different contexts in which "actually" can be used to foster connection in conversations. Hosts Aubrey Carter and Michelle Kaplan discuss four distinct ways to use "actually," offering examples and engaging in role-play to illustrate each usage. The episode emphasizes the importance of understanding these nuances to communicate more naturally and effectively in American English.
One of the key uses of "actually" is to soften statements or requests, making them appear less demanding and more considerate. This usage helps maintain politeness and fosters a positive connection between speakers.
By inserting "actually," Aubrey softens the request, making it less abrupt and more inviting.
"Actually" is frequently used to correct someone’s misunderstanding or to provide accurate information in a polite manner. This application is crucial for maintaining harmony in conversations, especially when addressing misconceptions.
Here, Aubrey gently corrects Jessica’s error without causing offense, showcasing how "actually" facilitates smooth corrections.
The word "actually" can be employed to highlight a contrast between perception and reality, adding depth and interest to statements.
This usage emphasizes the difference between the initial appearance and the true condition, making the statement more engaging.
"Actually" often conveys a sense of surprise or emphasizes a point, adding emotional nuance to the conversation.
In this context, Jessica expresses genuine surprise and admiration, enhancing the emotional connection in the dialogue.
Throughout the episode, Aubrey and Jessica provide numerous examples to illustrate each usage of "actually." Here are some notable excerpts:
Softening Statements:
This sentence demonstrates how "actually" softens the suggestion, making it more agreeable.
Correcting Information:
Aubrey uses "actually" to correct Jessica’s assumption politely.
Making Comparisons:
Here, "actually" highlights a surprising fact, making the comparison more intriguing.
Expressing Surprise:
This statement conveys surprise at an unexpected occurrence, adding a layer of emotion to the conversation.
To encapsulate the practical application of "actually," Aubrey and Jessica engage in a role-play scenario towards the end of the episode. They simulate a conversation between friends on the last day of vacation, seamlessly incorporating the different uses of "actually" discussed earlier.
Key Highlights from the Role Play:
Hedging:
Jessica uses "actually" to propose an idea softly.
Expressing Surprise:
Aubrey expresses mild surprise at Jessica’s suggestion, adding realism to the interaction.
Correcting Information:
Aubrey gently corrects Jessica’s mistake about the store name.
This role-play not only reinforces the lesson but also demonstrates how "actually" can be naturally integrated into everyday conversations.
Towards the episode's conclusion, Aubrey and Jessica recap the four main uses of "actually":
They emphasize that while "actually" is a powerful tool for connection, it should be used appropriately to avoid overuse, which can make conversations seem unnatural.
Episode 2421 of the All Ears English Podcast offers a comprehensive exploration of the word "actually," illustrating its versatility in enhancing conversational connections. Through detailed explanations, real-life examples, and engaging role-play, listeners gain valuable insights into using "actually" effectively in various contexts. This episode not only aids in vocabulary expansion but also deepens understanding of American conversational nuances, aligning perfectly with the podcast's mission of fostering connection over perfection in English learning.
Notable Quotes:
By understanding and practicing the various applications of "actually," learners can enhance their English proficiency, making their conversations more fluid and engaging. This episode serves as a valuable resource for anyone looking to deepen their grasp of everyday American English.