AEE 2439: English for Touchy, Testy Situations

Summary

All Ears English Podcast Summary

Episode: AEE 2439: English for Touchy, Testy Situations
Release Date: July 8, 2025
Hosts: Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan

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Overview

In Episode 2439 of the All Ears English Podcast, hosts Lindsay McMahon and Michelle Kaplan delve into the nuances of handling delicate and potentially confrontational situations in American English. Titled "English for Touchy, Testy Situations," the episode focuses on expressions and strategies learners can use to navigate moments of tension or conflict gracefully. The discussion is enriched with real-life examples, cultural insights, and practical role-plays to help intermediate to advanced English learners build their conversational resilience.

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1. Introduction to the Topic

The episode begins with Lindsay and Michelle setting the stage for a conversation about managing touchy and testy situations in English. They emphasize the importance of understanding not just the language but also the cultural contexts in which certain expressions are appropriate.

Notable Quote:

"We're going to show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection."
— Lindsay McMahon [00:00]

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2. Understanding "Excuse You"

The core of the episode revolves around the expression "excuse you," which differs significantly from the more commonly used "excuse me." Lindsay and Michelle explore the contexts in which "excuse you" is appropriate, highlighting its use in subtly challenging someone’s behavior without escalating the situation.

Notable Quotes:

"Excuse you. This flips the table on things, right?"
— Michelle Kaplan [02:22]

"We use this when a person does something that's maybe not so polite, and they didn't say excuse me."
— Lindsay McMahon [05:06]

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3. Practical Examples and Scenarios

To illustrate the usage of "excuse you," the hosts provide relatable scenarios:

• Burping or Bumping into Someone:

  • Michelle: "And I mean, you wouldn't do this to anybody... you might just say excuse you." [05:30]
  • Lindsay: "If someone bumps into you... you might say excuse you under your breath." [05:32]

• Cutting in Line:

  • Lindsay: "If someone cuts in line, I might say, 'I don't think so.'" [15:48]

These examples demonstrate how "excuse you" serves as a gentle reprimand without direct confrontation.

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4. Cultural Considerations

A significant portion of the discussion addresses how cultural norms influence the interpretation of certain behaviors. Lindsay shares her experiences abroad, noting how physical space and personal boundaries differ across cultures.

Notable Quotes:

"When you're in a new culture, just being careful with this expression so you're not snapping at people when they're doing something completely normal."
— Lindsay McMahon [12:22]

"Something that may seem shocking or upsetting to us could be totally fine in the place we are."
— Michelle Kaplan [12:57]

The hosts stress the importance of cultural sensitivity, especially when interacting in diverse environments.

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5. Stress Relief and Social Norms

Lindsay and Michelle discuss how expressions like "excuse you" can serve as outlets for personal stress without harming social interactions. By voicing mild disapproval internally or quietly, individuals can manage their emotions effectively.

Notable Quotes:

"If you've been waiting in line for hours... saying something like, 'I don't think so,' to yourself, that's going to release a little stress."
— Lindsay McMahon [16:49]

"It's a little stress relief, but mostly internal."
— Michelle Kaplan [17:07]

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6. Role-Play Demonstration

To solidify understanding, the hosts engage in a role-play scenario showcasing how "excuse you" might be used among close friends:

Scenario: Paying for Lunch

• Michelle: "Don't be rude." [18:46]
• Lindsay: "Excuse you? I paid last time." [18:54]
• Michelle: "Seriously, I pay pretty much every time." [18:58]
• Lindsay: "I don't think so." [19:07]

This dialogue illustrates the casual and humorous application of the phrase among peers, highlighting its adaptability based on the relationship between speakers.

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7. Conclusion and Takeaways

In wrapping up, Lindsay and Michelle reiterate the importance of using expressions like "excuse you" thoughtfully. They caution against overusing such phrases to avoid being perceived as impatient or confrontational. The episode concludes with encouragement for listeners to practice these expressions in appropriate contexts and to remain mindful of cultural differences.

Notable Quote:

"These expressions push back on people and let them know they're breaking a social norm."
— Lindsay McMahon [16:35]

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Final Thoughts

Episode 2439 offers valuable insights into handling sensitive interactions in English. By understanding the subtleties of expressions like "excuse you," learners can enhance their conversational skills and navigate social nuances with greater confidence. The hosts' engaging discussion, coupled with practical examples and cultural perspectives, makes this episode a comprehensive resource for anyone looking to master the art of managing touchy, testy situations in American English.

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Additional Resources

For those interested in expanding their vocabulary and refining their English skills further, the hosts recommend downloading the All Ears English app, which offers real-time transcripts, personalized vocabulary lists, and other learning tools.

Notable Quote:

"You're going to want to get that vocab. Love it."
— Michelle Kaplan [17:07]

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Stay Connected

To continue improving your English and stay updated with the latest episodes, subscribe to the All Ears English Podcast and join a community focused on connection, not perfection.

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Transcript

[Lindsey McMahon]

This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2439. English for touchy, testy situations. Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts, Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward/app.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Do you get angry when someone cuts you in line today? Get expressions you can use to push back on someone when they break a social norm. Find out how to do it today.

[Lindsey McMahon]

With the Venmo debit card. You can Venmo everything. Your favorite band's merch. You can Venmo this or their next show. You can Venmo that. Visit Venmo Me debit to learn more. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp bank and a pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated Card may be used everywhere. MasterCard is accepted. Venmo purchase restrictions apply.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Hey, Lindsay, how are you?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Hey, Michelle. How are you doing today? How's it going?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Good, good. Lindsay, do you think you say excuse me a lot?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh, I do. You mean when I'm in someone's way or just when I want to get someone's attention or. Either one.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Either one. Do you say excuse me a lot?

[Lindsey McMahon]

I. I say it moderately. I would say, you know, not a ton, but I don't never say it. Right. What about you? Do you use that expression a lot? Excuse me?

[Michelle Kaplan]

It's not. It's funny sometimes with, like, my son, like, I might be like, excuse me.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Like, oh, yeah, sure. Excuse me. Right. There's a lot of different ways we could use this.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Definitely. And actually, now that I think about it, we should do a whole followup on that. But today we're not talking about excuse me. We're talking about excuse you.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh, I love it. I love it. Excuse you. This flips the table on things, right?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Flips the script, as we say. And today we have a good question from Sophia from YouTube. Guys, YouTube is a great way to consume Allers English. And Sophia has sent in a few amazing questions.

[Michelle Kaplan]

And she loves Sophia.

[Lindsey McMahon]

She sends good questions. So we answer her questions. Guys, to get your questions answered, send a very specific question. Okay?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes. You want me to read the question?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. That'd be great, Michelle.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Please do. All right, here we go. Hey, I'm Sophia, and I just wanted to say I really love your show. It's part of my morning routine and always puts me in a good mood. Oh, that's so nice.

[Lindsey McMahon]

That's great. Thank you.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Thank you. Sophia, I have a quick question. How do you use. Excuse you? It sounds fun, but also a bit tricky to get right. I would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks so much.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh, my gosh.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Another question out of the park question.

[Lindsey McMahon]

She knocked it out of the park.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Did she say she did really native stuff here. So we're going to get into this in just a second. But before that, we want to say thank you to. To our very special reviewers.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yes. A special thank you to Zoe in China. A special thank you to Fun John, also in China. Thank you to Marcus 13 Marcus from the US and chill candle from China and Rama 900 from Saudi Arabia. Huge thank you to these listeners because these listeners took the time to go and rate and review our show. Michelle, why should our listeners do this? Why should they leave a review for our show?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Oh, well, it's just. It's super nice. It's nice. We like.

[Lindsey McMahon]

We like to know how you feel about the show.

[Michelle Kaplan]

We.

[Lindsey McMahon]

You can write your questions right in your review, and it keeps us motivated. It keeps us going. Right, Michelle?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Absolutely. We really do read these reviews. So keep them coming, guys. It really does make us feel very nice. And also we want to hear your feedback. We want to know from you what's working or what questions you have. So super important. So that would be great if you guys could leave us a review. Yep.

[Lindsey McMahon]

And we'll do our best to read your name out loud on the show if we see your review. So leave your review now. Wherever you listen, Apple podcast, Spotify, the app, wherever it is, leave your review.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Okay.

[Lindsey McMahon]

All right, Michelle, let's dig into this. I am excited today.

[Michelle Kaplan]

This is fun. This is a fun one. So when do we use excuse you?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, this. It's kind of ironic, right? This way of saying this. When I heard that we were talking about excuse me, excuse me, it made me think of my. I just came back from a trip to London, and when I hear excuse me, I feel that we're going to talk about politeness.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

And in London, it feels British English feels more polite to me. But because we're talking about excuse you, we're flipping things here a little bit. So we use this when a person does something that's maybe not so polite, and they didn't say excuse me. So we're saying excuse you for them.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah. So. All right, so here an example would be, let's say someone burps.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah.

[Michelle Kaplan]

And I mean, you wouldn't do this to anybody. I mean, for the, for the. You're not gonna. Just for this stranger, you know, who burps next to you, you're not gonna say excuse you. Right. That's awkward. But, you know, to. To somebody in your family, you might kind of say it or, I don't know, someone you're close with. So you might just say excuse you.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, I mean, I would push back a little bit on that. Maybe this next example, I might say this to a str. Might say it under my breath so they don't hear it. For example, when someone bumps into you, if you ever go to a crowded happy hour event, right. It's crowded and you're making your way and someone just bumps you, and it can really throw you off. Like, it can be kind of disturbing when you get bumped like that. But they don't say, excuse me. Right. You might say excuse you.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right. But like, yes, I agree with you. Under your breath. You're not going to start a fight with everybody.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh, no, no. Not a good idea. Yeah.

[Michelle Kaplan]

This makes me think of when I was in a Duane Reade once, which. Dwayne Reed. It's like a c. It. Well, it's a pharmacy in New York.

[Lindsey McMahon]

It's the CVS of. Yes, that is a. That's a local insight, local knowledge piece there.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes. Yeah, exactly, Dwayne. Right. So. And I, I think I must have accidentally, totally accidentally innocently bumped someone or cut someone off or. I didn't even notice. And she said, some people say excuse me.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh, yeah, that's, that's, that's a real. I mean, I'm not surprised that New Yorker said that to you.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right? Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. Michelle, do you have a good sense of bodily awareness? Do you have a good sense of. Because I'm gonna say I don't. My partner often yells at me and, you know, I'll be kind of moving into someone from behind and not realizing it and all sorts of, you know, throwing my hands up in the air and someone, you know, walks by and I hit them in the face on accident.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Do you.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Do you do this or is it just me?

[Michelle Kaplan]

I don't think it's. I, I don't know that I do that, but my lack of awareness is in my volume.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh, your volume.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Probably get, you know, by here. So, like, even just the other day, Dan and I were talking. Right. That. Yeah. Sometimes I don't realize how.

[Lindsey McMahon]

All right. Nice, nice.

[Michelle Kaplan]

All right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

We also. That's lack of awareness.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes, exactly. Exactly. So, yeah. So, I mean, let's say. Or let's say somebody just says something a little rude or not exactly. Right. In an argument. Right. You might say excuse you. That's not right at all. Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, yeah. I would say this is the one that I use the least. But. Yeah, you might do that. It's valid. It makes sense. Intonation matters here, though, right, Michelle? Because we're trying to make a point. We're essentially trying to say you did something wrong, you didn't apologize for it. So I'm sort of. I don't know. I'm calling that out.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah. Yeah. And you can kind of stress it in a couple different ways. You can either go, excuse you or like, excuse you. Right. Or you can say excuse you. Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, you can.

[Michelle Kaplan]

You have.

[Lindsey McMahon]

You can be creative here. We can be a little creative with how we use the intonation. I usually say excuse you. Or you. I guess you could put a question. Excuse you. Right. I guess you could do that. Maybe.

[Michelle Kaplan]

I guess you could. Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

But. But actually, more often I would say excuse me. That would be more common, I think, if you're gonna go up in your intonation. Don't you think?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, yeah. Is this a nice thing to say?

[Lindsey McMahon]

I wouldn't say. I mean, similar to what the person said to you in the Dwayne read. I wouldn't say it's nice. Right. I would say you're pushing back. You're challenging people.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, right. Yeah, that's a. That's a really. A good way to explain it. I mean, it's often said by parents, I think. Right. Excuse you. Right, right. Otherwise, it can definitely be with an attitude or belittling or babying someone or maybe even embarrassing some. Someone. So, of course, you know, we're answering Sophia's question. We're not saying that now. You should run around saying excuse.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, I would be care. You shouldn't be saying it too often, otherwise there might be an issue on your. Yeah, right. That you have no patience or something.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right, right, exactly. But. But she asked the question. It's good to know what it means for sure.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Absolutely.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah. Love that.

[Lindsey McMahon]

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[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah. I think that's why when we travel, when we're in a place that's completely different from, you know, where we grew up, I think we just always need to keep that in mind that, you know, a lot of times something that may seem shocking or upsetting or irritating to us could be totally fine in the place we are. And so we as the travelers have to be the ones to be aware of that Right. Because we're not in our home. And so we have to keep that open mind and think, okay, wait, maybe this is just, you know, how things are done in a certain place or whatever.

[Lindsey McMahon]

You got to go with the flow. Right. When you're in a new culture. So that awareness is super important. So just being careful around that with this expression that you're not snapping at people when they're doing something completely normal. Okay, Love that.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Exactly. So other things you might hear are. I mean, I'm just one word, really.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh, yeah, this is a good one. Very common. Michelle. For example, let's say I. I don't hold the door for you. You come in behind me. It's in American culture. Let's say that's cultural. But in American culture, we should hold the door for someone behind us. If we see they're coming in behind us, we would normally just put our hand out and maybe look back. Or you don't even have to look back. You can just hold it, but it slams in your face and what do you say?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Really? Or some. Somebody might say, seriously is another one.

[Lindsey McMahon]

That's a good one. What else, Michelle, what can we say?

[Michelle Kaplan]

This is for, you know, parents to kids. So many of them might say manners or mind your manners. Definitely kids. Yeah. This is only for kids. So, like, a kid sneezes and doesn't cover his or her mouth, you might just say manners. Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Again, not to say to adults at all. Only for children. Adults speaking to.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right. Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

What about don't be rude? Would you ever say that?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Well, again, not. This is not to. Not. Not to a random person on the street. Right. But let's say you're super close to somebody. Someone's your best friend, and they're kind of being snippy to you.

[Lindsey McMahon]

You could.

[Michelle Kaplan]

I mean, here. Yeah. Let's show what that would look like.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Okay, well, it's not my fault you didn't send it.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Don't be rude.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, this. This absolutely requires a level of intimacy between you and the person you're saying it to.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right? Yes, exactly. Guys. Yeah. We don't want you running around now.

[Lindsey McMahon]

And that would be ridiculous. No, you cannot say this to someone you don't know. Right. You just can't. It's. It's very direct. Right. That's probably why.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Or this last one is just you over here.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Like, when you can, though, this one, you can say this. I think you can. Let's see the context here.

[Michelle Kaplan]

So, all right, so what is it?

[Lindsey McMahon]

The expression is, I don't think so. Okay, this one we have to be careful because we're getting really testy here. Right? Testy.

[Michelle Kaplan]

So let's do a little role play. You're the one that missed the last line.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I don't think so. Not me.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Okay.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Okay, so here we know each other. And just the fact that you said that to me, you're the one that missed the last line.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right. I'm accusing you.

[Lindsey McMahon]

We know each other.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

But I could see using this around a stranger again. Maybe you're saying it to your. Under your breath. If someone cuts you in line. In American culture, lines are very important. And we don't cut people in line.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right. People get really mad.

[Lindsey McMahon]

People get really mad. So I could see myself saying that if someone cuts me in line, I might say, I don't think so. And then I might, you know, I might just say, oh, I'm sorry, sir, there's a line here. You'll need to go to the back.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right. And again, a lot of these things, I think, you know, just the way you put that is you're saying, I don't think so, but you're saying it more to yourself. Yourself, like, or your friend or something. Right, exactly. And then you say. And then you go to the person and say, I'm sorry, sir. You know, I mean, if your personality.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Is really contentious and in your face, you might say that to the person. But I wouldn't recommend it because I don't know what would happen next.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right, yeah, exactly. Guys, we don't want to get you guys in physical altercations with this episode. So, I mean. Yeah, I mean, but these are about. I mean, what do these expressions do.

[Lindsey McMahon]

They push back on people. They let people know that they're breaking some kind of social norm. And we need these cues or, or they. Or they allow you to blow off steam when you become stressed. If someone has broken that social cue, you blow off steam for yourself.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

You release that stress. Like it's. If you've been waiting in line for hours to get into, I don't know, get the new iPhone or something, then someone cuts. You've camped out. Someone cuts in line view. That could be stressful for you. So if you say something, I don't think so. Right. To yourself, that's going to release a little stress.

[Michelle Kaplan]

True. Yeah, that's a really good point. So a little stress relief, but mostly in. In to yourself and mostly. Don't let anybody hear you. Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

People, you know. Well, and it can be kind of. It can also actually be. We're talking about connection skills here, Michelle. I think, you know, saying things like, don't be rude to someone because we need that closeness, it might actually build a connection because you're at the level that you could tell someone not to be rude. Does that make sense?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, it's true. Once you. It's. It's funny how sometimes, like, the. Basically what we're. What we're saying is the closer you get to someone, the more opportunities you have to be unfiltered. Yeah, that's a great. That's a great way to put it. Yeah, you're unfiltered. You can show your real emotions. Yes. Guys, I just want to say that we are just listing all of these great vocabulary words today. I have a huge list going. So definitely on the Allers English app, you're going to want to get that vocab. Love it.

[Lindsey McMahon]

This is great. Oh, my gosh.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Get the app. Allersenglish.com app. Michelle, let's go on to the role play for today. I know our listeners love our signature role plays. So what is happening in this scenario today?

[Michelle Kaplan]

Okay, so here we're going to be using them in a more joking way. Okay. So because we did want to show that side of it and how it could be used when you know somebody. Well. So here we are, childhood friends, and we are meeting up. Okay. Okay, Here we go. Yes. All right. Late again. Typical Lindsay.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Don't be rude.

[Michelle Kaplan]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. You're paying for lunch this time.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Excuse you? I paid last time.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Seriously, I pay pretty much every time.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I don't think so.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Nice. So, yeah, we're childhood friends. We've known each other for years, our entire lives. So we are being unfiltered here, right? We're being very direct. Very.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yes, exactly. So let's go through it. So I said late. Again, typical Lindsay. And then what was your response?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Don't be rude. And again, yeah, we know each other well. I feel close enough to you that I could just say that in almost kind of a scolding way because we're close. We're peers.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right? Yeah. We're saying it kind of in a jokey way. I mean, it may be true. Right. But we're joking around. Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

The example here, the contrast is these are probably not things you would say to your colleague unless you also are really good friends with your colleague. But that would be exceptional. Right? You might say it to a good friend. You probably wouldn't say this to a colleague. You probably wouldn't have that level of closeness.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right. It's funny how we get meaner to people as we know them better.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I know. Is there something wrong with that? I don't know.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah. And then I said, okay, you are paying for lunch this time. And you said, excuse you, I paid last time.

[Lindsey McMahon]

So I'm correcting you. I'm pushing back on you.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Yeah, yeah. And then I'm pushing back again. And I said, seriously, I pay pretty much every time.

[Lindsey McMahon]

And then again, pushing back again. I don't think so. Nice. I love this. This is an interesting topic today. We need ways to push back on people.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right? Yeah. Yeah. Love it. Absolutely. Absolutely. Speaking of etiquette, we did episode 2431 was, can you make it RSVP etiquette for weddings and parties in English? So that also is like a very cultural episode, I think. Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I. I think culture is the key piece here today as you're traveling abroad to different countries. If you feel someone has broken a social norm, double check if that's actually true. Right. Before you kind of let off steam and then decide whether you want this to be an internal way of letting off steam. Right. Just under your breath.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right. Whether the.

[Lindsey McMahon]

The moment is right to actually say this to someone. These things.

[Michelle Kaplan]

Right, right. And really be careful about your volume when you let off that steam.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Right.

[Michelle Kaplan]

You don't want somebody to hear you and then you get in a fight. Right. So it really. It can. This is a very touchy episode in some ways because we just have to be really careful. We don't want to get in an argument with anybody. But we did. But we had to answer the question. Right. It's a really good question and it is used so very important. Yes.

[Lindsey McMahon]

If you have a good question, send it in to support allearsenglish.com we want to see your very specific question for the show. All right, Michelle, you have a good rest of your day. I'll see you soon.

[Michelle Kaplan]

All right. Bye, Lindsay. Bye, guys.

[Lindsey McMahon]

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[C]

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