Podcast Summary: All Ears English Ep. 2522

"What to Say When You Lose Your Train of Thought"

Hosts: Lindsay McMahon & Aubrey Carter
Date: December 1, 2025

Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, Lindsay and Aubrey dive into the everyday human experience of losing your train of thought during conversation. They focus on actionable strategies and natural, idiomatic American English you can use to smoothly handle these moments, maintain connection, and even help others recover when it happens to them. The episode is filled with practical phrases, role plays, nuanced tips for cultural communication, and a warm, collaborative tone aimed at empowering ESL learners in real conversations.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding "Losing Your Train of Thought"

• Definition:
  • Aubrey explains, “This chunk of 'lose your train of thought' is kind of idiomatic. It means to forget what you were saying or thinking, usually because you were distracted or maybe interrupted.” (03:40)
• Personal Experiences:
  • The hosts share relatable moments, from forgetting why you opened the fridge to being distracted by busy family life.
  • “Open the fridge and forget why you went there—things like that.” (03:08, Aubrey)
• Cultural Note:
  • “We don’t like silence in American culture.” (04:54, Aubrey)
  • Americans tend to avoid awkward pauses and often use specific phrases to keep conversations flowing.

2. The Importance of Connection

• Connection, Not Perfection:
  • Even moments of forgetfulness are opportunities to build connection instead of causing embarrassment or awkwardness.
  • “It doesn’t have to be this big, embarrassing moment where you break the connection, right? You could maintain the connection in this moment.” (05:12, Lindsay)
• Actively Supporting Each Other:
  • Conversations are collaborative, not performances. Both the speaker and listener can help each other keep momentum.

3. Essential Phrases to Use When You Lose Your Train of Thought

Main Pro Tip:

• Say something immediately to prompt the other person’s help and jog your memory. (04:19, Aubrey)

a. “What was I saying?”

• When to Use: In the midst of a conversation, if you’re talking and forget your point.
• Example:
  • Aubrey: “What was I saying?” (05:49)
  • Lindsay (helping): “You were talking about the food at the rooftop place. Small plates.” (07:29)
• Natural Delivery: Add fillers like “wait” for a more authentic tone—“Wait, what was I saying?” (08:47, Lindsay)

b. “Where was I?”

• When to Use: Typically when telling a story and you lose your spot.
• Role Play Example:
  • Aubrey: “Where was I?” (10:37)
  • Lindsay: “You were saying your boss looked annoyed when you walked into the meeting.” (10:40)
• Nuance:
  • “Where was I? is more commonly used when you’ve gone into a whole story … where exactly was I in my story?” (11:12, Lindsay)

c. “Never mind, it’ll come back to me.”

• When to Use: If you and the other person can’t remember, or to move on gracefully.
• Role Play Example:
  • Aubrey: “Oh, never mind. It’ll come back to me.” (14:41)
  • Shows self-awareness and keeps the conversation moving without awkwardness.

d. “It must not have been that important.”

• When to Use: As a light, self-deprecating joke if you forget and want to move forward.
  • “If it doesn’t help me immediately remember, I just say, ‘Oh, must not have been important.’ And then I just change the subject.” (06:19, Aubrey)

4. How Listeners Can Help

• Collaboration Is Key:
  • Lindsay highlights, “We’re not on stage when we’re in a conversation. … We’re in collaboration.” (09:27)
• Give As Much Detail as Possible:
  • Help your friend by providing context or reminding them of the conversation thread: “You gave as much info as you could to get me back on track.” (09:14, Aubrey)

5. Handling Awkward Moments

• Rescuing Each Other:
  • “If we care about the connection, we don’t want them to feel awkward. We want to avoid those awkward pauses.” (15:40, Aubrey)
• Empathy:
  • The hosts note that both people may forget, and that’s normal—what matters is how they support each other to keep things comfortable.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We don’t like silence in American culture.” (04:54, Aubrey Carter)
• “We’re not on stage when we’re in conversation. We’re in collaboration.” (09:27, Lindsay McMahon)
• “It must not have been that important.” (06:19, Aubrey Carter—offered as a light-hearted way to move on)
• “Never mind, it’ll come back to me.” (14:41, Aubrey Carter—another easygoing phrase)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:40: Explanation of “lose your train of thought”
• 04:54: American cultural aversion to silence
• 05:49: Phrase one: “What was I saying?” (Role play begins)
• 08:47: Natural delivery tips for making these phrases sound authentic
• 10:11: Phrase two: “Where was I?” (Role play begins)
• 13:58: “Never mind, it’ll come back to me” and rescuing yourself or others
• 15:29: Empathy and the role of social rescue in conversation
• 17:42: Core takeaway: These small moments are crucial for building connection

Additional Resources Suggested

• Previous episode: “Grammar mistake or false start?” — Focuses on authentic spoken grammar and natural interruption in speech. (16:05)
• Get episode transcripts for further study via the All Ears English website. (16:54)

Final Takeaways

• Losing your train of thought is human and happens to everyone—even in your native language.
• Respond with a phrase rather than silence to keep the conversation warm and connected.
• Support your discussion partner to “jog their memory”—connection is more important than perfect recall.
• Use the recommended phrases to smoothly navigate these moments and avoid awkwardness:
  • “What was I saying?”
  • “Where was I?”
  • “Never mind, it’ll come back to me.”
  • “It must not have been that important.”
• The episode closes with a reminder that these small conversational habits are essential for real connection in English.