All Ears English Podcast

Episode 2532: Four Ways to Apologize in English

Hosts: Lindsay McMahon & Michelle Kaplan
Date: December 17, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode centers on the art of apologizing in English, especially for more significant relationship-based offenses. Hosts Lindsay and Michelle break down four key ways to make a sincere apology, emphasize the importance of specificity and authenticity, and provide practical dialogue examples. The conversation is aimed at helping advanced ESL learners master not just language, but also the cultural nuances of apologies in the U.S.—all in the podcast’s trademark friendly, upbeat style.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Importance of Apologizing for Relationship "Rescue"

• Connection Over Perfection: Apologizing is critical both at work and in personal life as a path to maintaining or repairing relationships.

  “It’s a major connection skill, whether it’s in the business world or in our social lives.” —Lindsay [04:23]

• The episode is part of a three-part series on apologies, highlighting their universal value.

Four Authentic Ways to Apologize

1. “I wanted to apologize for...”

• When/How to Use: A neutral, common phrase, mature for situations when you need to acknowledge something that’s been weighing on you.
• Explanation: Using "wanted" (past tense) adds emotional distance and suggests self-reflection.

  "It kind of adds a nature of genuineness to your apology, I think." —Lindsay [06:51]

• Example:
  “I wanted to apologize for the note I left you. I didn’t mean for it to sound passive-aggressive, but it definitely was. I’m so sorry.” [07:41]
• Variation: You can use “I want to apologize for…” (a bit more formal).

2. “I know you’re probably still upset about...”

• When/How to Use: Pairs recognition of the other’s feelings with a direct apology.
• Benefit: Shows empathy and awareness.
• Example:
  “I know you’re still probably upset about my forgetfulness with the party. I just wanted to let you know I’m so sorry, and I feel really awful about it.” —Michelle [07:22]

3. “I take full responsibility for...”

• When/How to Use: For times when you accept blame directly and need to emphasize accountability.
• Explanation: This phrase may not directly include “I’m sorry,” but is still an unequivocal apology.

  “You did something completely wrong, right?” —Michelle [09:52]

• Example:
  “I take full responsibility for my behavior yesterday. I should not have lost my cool.” [09:52]
• Pro Tip: You don't always need to use “I’m sorry” if the responsibility is clear.

4. “I hope you can forgive me for...”

• When/How to Use: Invites reconciliation after a transgression.
• Example:
  “I hope you can forgive me for losing your book. I really am sorry.” —Lindsay [10:31]
• Advice: Some apologies can combine two or more formulas for emphasis, but avoid overdoing it (“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”).

Apology "Don’ts": What to Avoid

Insincere Phrases

• “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
  Considered a “sneaky” non-apology that shifts blame back to the other person’s reaction.

  “That’s your problem... you’re not saying, I’m sorry I did that. Right? It’s a sneaky way to kind of apologize without apologizing.” —Lindsay [11:44] “People are wising up to that.” —Michelle [12:03]

• Advice: If you truly did something wrong, take ownership. If not, don’t apologize insincerely.

Best Practices for Effective Apologies

• Be Specific:
  Don’t just say “I’m sorry.” Clearly state what you’re apologizing for.

  “If you’re not specific, it sounds like you’re hiding from it.” —Michelle [10:40]

• Be Direct & Genuine:
  Take responsibility, avoid passive language, and don’t make excuses.
• Timing Matters:
  Sometimes immediate apologies are best (for small issues), but larger offenses may require time for reflection.

  “You might need some time to cool off… you realize later, oh, that wasn’t my best moment.” —Michelle [14:21]

• Don’t Expect Immediate Forgiveness:
  An apology doesn’t always result in instant reconciliation, but it’s key to maintaining self-respect and integrity.

  “Sometimes you’re going to apologize and the person is still going to be upset... But we still have to apologize.” —Lindsay [18:46]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Just own up to it, right? That’s what we have to do in life.” —Lindsay [07:58]
• “The best thing for apologizing is to take responsibility, to be direct and to be genuine.” —Michelle [12:36]
• “The biggest way to make your apology seem that you don’t really mean it is to say ‘I’m sorry you feel that way.’” —Michelle [11:30]
• “For little things, I think it’s good to apologize right away, but if it’s a bigger thing, I think taking some space and then coming back...” —Lindsay [15:01]
• “We need the language for all of it. English is for connection.” —Lindsay [20:03]

Roleplay Scenarios (Apology Dialogues)

Forgetting to Invite a Friend

• Lindsay:
  “I wanted to talk to you. I’ve been feeling really awful for forgetting to invite you. It wasn’t intentional at all. I wanted to apologize for this mistake. I really hope you can forgive me.” [15:56]
• Michelle responds appreciatively, highlighting that such direct and sincere apologies help bridge hurt feelings.

Yelling When “Hangry”

• Michelle:
  “Hey, Lindsay, I hope you can forgive me for yelling at you the other day. It was completely uncalled for.” [18:00]
• Lindsay accepts, noting this kind of mistake doesn’t require a lengthy apology.

Breaking a Trust (Leaking a Secret)

• Lindsay:
  “Michelle, I take full responsibility for gossiping… it was wrong and I should never have done it. I know you’re probably still upset about it.”
• Michelle: “Yep, still upset.”
• Lindsay: “I know. I’m so sorry.” [18:36–19:34]
• This demonstrates that not all apologies are instantly effective, and the process can be uncomfortable.

Key Timestamps

• 02:32: Intro discussion: Is it easy for you to apologize?
• 05:23: Focus of the episode: deeper, “real life” apologies.
• 06:08–07:41: First apology formula and variations.
• 09:39: “I take full responsibility for…”
• 10:31: “I hope you can forgive me for…”
• 11:30–12:36: What NOT to say in an apology.
• 13:06: What makes a great apology? Personal reflections.
• 14:21–15:26: Timing and genuine introspection in apologies.
• 15:41–20:14: Roleplay scenarios and takeaway lessons.

Takeaways

• Apologizing is integral to connection and is a skill that can—and should—be learned and practiced.
• Learners should use specific, direct language, take responsibility, and only apologize when they truly feel responsible.
• Avoid vague or insincere formulations that displace blame.
• Sometimes, the person wronged needs time, but a sincere apology lays the foundation for trust and reconnection.
• Apologizing is uncomfortable but necessary; “it’s part of life” [19:41].

For part 3 of this apology series and more business-focused scenarios, listen to the Business English podcast: episode 502, “It’s Water Under the Bridge: How to Accept an Apology at Work.”