AEE 2535: So I Said to Myself, “You’re Gonna Love This Episode!”

Summary

All Ears English Podcast – Episode 2535 Summary

Title: So I Said to Myself, "You're Gonna Love This Episode!"
Hosts: Michelle Kaplan & Aubrey Carter
Date: December 23, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Michelle and Aubrey discuss the natural English expressions "I said to myself" and "I told myself" and their value in making stories engaging, vivid, and native-like. Targeted at intermediate/advanced English learners, the episode provides nuanced grammar tips, pronunciation insights, and lots of real-life examples and role plays. The focus is on how reporting inner thoughts boosts conversational storytelling, deepens listener connection, and helps express goals, regrets, or self-encouragement in authentic American English.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Expressions: "I Said to Myself" vs. "I Told Myself"

• Definition & Usage

  • Both mean “I thought,” commonly used to narrate internal thoughts or add color to a story.
  • "I said to myself" is slightly more conversational and common for reporting thoughts.
  • "I told myself" can be more formal and is often used for giving oneself advice, encouragement, or making resolutions.

• Literal vs. Figurative Use

  • These phrases generally describe thoughts, not actual spoken words.
    • Aubrey: "We don't usually talk to ourselves out loud...It's a thought in my brain that I said to myself." [03:59]

2. Examples & Variations

• Standard Thought Reporting:

  • “When I found out my mom was visiting, I said to myself, I need to clean my house.” [04:18]
  • “He saw that her car wasn’t in the driveway and immediately said to himself, I wonder where she went.” [05:02]

• Self-Encouragement and Resolutions:

  • “I told myself this year would be different.” [06:06]
  • “Before the presentation, I told myself, don’t panic.” [07:24]
  • “I told myself I’d leave the house earlier today, but here we are.” [12:11]

• Expressing Regret or Hindsight:

  • “I told myself not to trust him, but I ignored it.” [08:21]
  • “I told myself to double check, and I should have.” [08:28]

• Habitual Thinking:

  • “Every day I say to myself, I’m going to exercise today. And then it never happens.” [09:33]
  • “For years I told myself I didn’t have time to learn a new language, and then I realized I needed to prioritize it.” [09:46]

3. Grammar & Tense Nuance

• Past Tense: “I told myself” or “I said to myself” for a specific moment or repeated action in the past.
• Present Simple for Habit: “I say to myself…” to indicate things you routinely think.
• Shifting Tense in Storytelling:
  • Switch from past to present to bring the listener into the moment for vivid storytelling.
    • Aubrey: "He was yelling at everyone. And then as we start narrating what we thought, we move to present tense to pull the listener in..." [10:05]

4. Conveying Tone & Voice

• Effective storytellers change their tone or use a “character voice” for the reported thought to make stories more dynamic and relatable.
  • Michelle: "You kind of put on a voice in a little way, right? Oh, I literally said to myself, okay, this needs to stop." [16:25]

5. Role Play Demonstration [12:11–16:51]

A practical, realistic dialogue shows how these phrases are used in real life:

• Aubrey: “Hey, sorry I’m late. I told myself I’d leave the house earlier today, but here we are.” [12:11]
• Michelle: “It’s fine. On the walk over, I said to myself, she is probably stuck in traffic again.” [12:23]
• Aubrey: “Every morning lately, I say to myself, today I’m going to be on time. Hasn’t worked yet.” [12:29]
• Michelle: “Story of my life. I told myself I wouldn’t buy any more coffee out. And then the second I passed a cafe, I said to myself, well, one cup won’t hurt.” [12:36]
• Aubrey: “That’s so real. When I opened my bank app last night, I literally said to myself, okay, this needs to stop.” [12:45]

6. Cultural and Learning Tips

• Reporting one’s own thoughts adds authenticity and connection.
• These expressions help learners sound more natural and engaging in conversation.
• Mixing “said” and “told” prevents repetition, modeling native conversational flow.

7. Memorable Quotes

• Aubrey [02:57]: “If you just say ‘this happened and then this happened and I thought this,’ it’s pretty boring, right? But we report speech, we narrate speech and thoughts in order to draw the listener into the story.”
• Michelle [10:20]: “I love these layers of English...these are things that you can uncover. And even for native speakers, when you hear these things, you’re like, oh, I didn’t realize I do that.”
• Aubrey [18:20]: “Reporting thoughts...makes you a better storyteller, makes conversation more interesting...especially if you don’t follow through!”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro & Episode Goal: 01:00–02:57
• “I said to myself…” Explanation: 03:26–04:39
• “I told myself…” Meaning and Regional Nuance: 05:20–07:06
• Other Uses (Encouragement, Resolution, Regret): 07:06–09:21
• Present Tense Usage in Storytelling: 09:21–10:53
• Role Play of Everyday Use: 12:11–16:51
• Tips on Voice & Tone: 16:25–17:29
• Takeaways & Final Thoughts: 18:09–19:08

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Takeaways

• Using “I said to myself” and “I told myself” livens up stories and makes English sound more native.
• These phrases are versatile: use them for reporting thoughts, resolutions, encouragement, regrets, and habitual thinking.
• Switching verb tense in storytelling (from past to present) engages listeners and makes stories vivid.
• Changing your vocal tone when quoting your own thoughts adds impact and authenticity.
• Experiment with both “I said to myself” (conversational) and “I told myself” (sometimes more formal or motivational), and be aware of their slightly different connotations.

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Further Learning

• Listen to Episode 2401: “How to Be a More Interesting Storyteller,” focusing on using “I was all,” “I was like,” etc. [17:41]
• “Connection NOT Perfection”: Embrace making mistakes while practicing natural expressions for real-world connection.

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Recommended for learners aiming to sound more fluent, engaging, and natural in American English conversation.

Transcript

[A]

This is an Allers English podcast, episode 2535. So I said to myself, you're going to love this episode.

[B]

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast. Downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American host, Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, and Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz coming to you from Arizona and New York City, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward/app.

[C]

On today's episode, Aubry and Michelle talk about how use I said to myself and I told myself, in order to share interesting stories, find out the many ways to use these and more today. Want a little behind the scenes? All Ears English magic. Take our super quick 5 minute survey and you'll be entered to win a free virtual meet and greet with your friends. Favorite All Ears English host. Yes, actually meeting one of us. Your answers help us make the podcast even better for you. More of what you love, less of what you don't. Five minutes. Big fun. Real impact. Deadline to enter the contest is December 31st, so go to allearsenglish.com survey now.

[A]

Hello, Michelle. Are you excited to record with me today?

[C]

Oh, yes, Aubry. As soon as I found out, I said to myself, this is gonna be so fun.

[A]

Lindsay's out of town this week, so Michelle and I are taking over the mic. She will be back next week, never fear. But I gave us a little role play here because I wanted you to do this really interesting thing we do in English when we're reporting thoughts where we'll say I said to myself or I told myself and then the thought, right? Oh, this is great.

[C]

Yeah. But it's true. That is. I did. That is what I said to myself. Yeah. And it was also not just yes, it's also true, it is true. Yeah. I love recording with you, Aubry. We have a lot of fun. Yeah. So today we are going to be sharing tips that will help you use the verbs say and tell when reporting speech.

[A]

Yeah. And this adds interest to what you're saying and improves your storytelling because if you're sharing something that happened in the past, if you just say this happened and then this happened and I thought this, it's pretty boring, right? But we report speech, we narrate speech and thoughts in order to draw the listener into the Story. And we'll share how we do this in both past tense and present tense to really help the listener feel like they were there with you. Love it. All right. Oh, my gosh.

[C]

This is such a fun topic. So let's get into it. So let's. So what we used in the little role play at the beginning, I said. I said to myself, yeah.

[A]

And when would you say that? Other? Like, this is a really good example. Right. I said to myself, this is going to be so much fun. It means the same thing as I thought. So whenever you're telling someone something, you thought this is a really native, natural way to do it. I said to myself, it's of kind to rain. It could be anything.

[C]

Now, does this usually mean that you actually said it out loud?

[A]

That's a really good point. No. Right. We don't usually talk to ourselves out loud. This means. I thought I said to myself. But I didn't literally say this like, I just thought it. I. It was a thought in my brain that I said to myself, yes, exactly.

[C]

So should we do a couple examples?

[A]

Yeah, let's do it.

[C]

All right. So when I found out my mom was visiting, I said to myself, I need to clean my house. That's. Wow. I think you wrote this for me for exactly today because my mom is coming tomorrow.

[A]

Oh, that's.

[C]

And I do need to clean my house.

[A]

You said this to yourself this morning?

[C]

I said this to myself, yes. Well, I've been saying this to myself.

[A]

I'm the same. Right. If family's visiting, especially my mom, for some reason, I'm like, oh, boy. Need to clean my house. Make sure that.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

No dust on anything. Yes. I'm sure that's a common experience out there.

[C]

Yes. I. All my mom wants is the. At this point, I think she'll be thrilled if my front hall is cleared. When you. That's. That's what we were working on last time.

[A]

Perfect. Clear the front hall. She'll be happy. Yeah.

[C]

Yes, exactly. Maybe.

[A]

Here's another example. He saw that her car wasn't in the driveway and immediately said to himself, I wonder where she went. Yeah. And he wouldn't say, this certainly wasn't out loud or not necessarily out loud. Most people don't verbally speak out loud to themselves. Just probably thought it. Yeah.

[C]

So, I mean, aubry, do you use. I told myself in the same way. Right? Like, sort of. So as soon as I found out, I said to myself, this is going to be so fun. Would you. Could you also say, told myself, here's.

[A]

What'S interesting, this first was inspired by a student saying that I told myself and then sort of reported thoughts like this and it sort of sounded wrong to me and I was like, oh, you would say I said to myself. But then I started asking people about it and trying to observe and looking up on online and everything I could find. Says told myself has the same meaning and is used this way but is slightly more formal. It's not quite as conversational. And because we use it in a lot of other ways, I told myself has a bunch of other meanings that usually if we're just saying I thought we'll say I said to myself. But you could say like I told myself this year would be different. Right. Or I told myself to stay calm even though the situation was stressful. These are a little more like I motivated myself. I was trying to write. It's like, it's almost like advice for yourself. Right.

[C]

I was thinking pep talk too. Yeah, pep talk. Or some sort of advice or yeah. Or I told myself I deserved a break. So I took the afternoon off. Right.

[A]

So but I ran this by a few people because I was, I'm wondering like is this different in different English speaking countries or different regions of the US So I asked a few English speakers from other countries as well and most of them were like oh. I would definitely say like oh. I found out I was recording with with Michelle. So I told myself this is going to be so fun. Didn't sound strange to them. So it's interesting. I think this kind of depends on what you grew up hearing, what your parents said. And mine would have been more likely to say I said to myself, I.

[C]

I also might say oh. I was like, right. Which is, you know.

[A]

And we did an episode about those. We're going to share this, so stay to the end. We're going to share. When we taught, I was all, I was like a lot of these more informal ways that we narrate speech that if you missed it, those are even more common, I think. And then also I said to myself, but let's dive into some of these other meanings. Foretold myself. I think these are really interesting. We use it first for like encouragement, self correction or maybe a promise to yourself when you're mentally committing to do something. Right. So for example, before the presentation I told myself don't panic and you can't say I said to myself, right. Both of them would work here.

[C]

Right. Or I told myself I would wake up earlier this year. Haha. That sounds like me.

[A]

Yeah, okay. Or I Don't sing a deadline. I told myself I needed to be more organized. Often this is with those resolutions. Right. Maybe you told yourself you'd start waking up earlier. Someone else decided to get more organized and we might use this chunk. Oh, I told myself this was going to happen this year.

[C]

Yeah. Or also, then there's another way of regret or hindsight. So this is used when you look back and you wish you had listened to your inner voice.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I told myself not to trust him, but I ignored it. And then you're regretting, like, oops, something happened. I should not have trusted him.

[C]

Or I told myself to double check, and I should have.

[A]

So it happened to me recently. I left water boiling on the stove, and I told myself to double. I had to call one of my kids and be like, turn off the stove. I think I left water boiling.

[C]

Oh, gosh. Oh, no, Aubrey. But it happens to everyone.

[A]

Yeah. Or habitual thinking about the past. So, like talking about something you used to repeatedly tell yourself. For example, for years, I told myself I didn't have time to learn a new language, and then I realized I needed to prioritize it.

[C]

Or I told myself I didn't need help. Then I realized I couldn't do it alone. Yeah.

[A]

So you're kind of sharing what this inner voice is, what you were repeatedly saying to yourself, or repeatedly thinking. Right. I thought this a lot is what this means. I told myself I didn't need help. Means I. I often thought this or this was my mindset in general.

[C]

Yeah. And now we were also talking about Aubry. You mentioned kind of the tenses. Right. So we've been talking about. I. I told myself, I said to myself. But what about. I say to myself, yes, we definitely.

[A]

Use this for habitual thinking. Right. Every day I say to myself, I'm going to exercise today. And then it never happens. Right. So this is more like I think this every day. Every day I say to myself, right.

[C]

Right.

[A]

We also use present simple to bring someone into a story. Right. To make it feel like they were right there with us.

[C]

Yes, exactly. And we've talked about that a lot. You know, that's a. That's a very common strategy. So this is how it would look like with say, so this guy was yelling at everyone. So I say to myself, stay calm. It's going to be fine.

[A]

Yeah. And we often do this where we start the sentence in past tense. Right. He was yelling at everyone. And then as we start narrating what we thought, we move to present tense to pull the Listener in as if they were there with us. I say to myself, stay calm. It is right.

[C]

Or I love these layers of English when we, when the, these are things that you can uncover. And even for native speakers, I mean, when, when you hear these things, they're like, oh, you know, I didn't realize I do that. Or why do I do that? I. These are, these are some of my favorite things about learning about our own language.

[A]

You know, when storytellers do this, I notice and I do feel like I was right there with them. Right. Yes. Yeah.

[C]

Or here's another example. Everyone was running every which way. And I say to myself, what is going on here? I also like that bonus. Every which way.

[A]

Oh yeah. Every which way, meaning in all directions. That is fun. And then you notice she switched from everyone was running past tense. She's describing something that happened in the past and then switches to present to bring them there. Like bring you from the past into the present. And I say to myself, what is going on here? And then you might stay present tense. Be like, and then this person is screaming and there are sirens blaring. You might stay in present tense to make it feel more. Yeah. Exciting and engaging.

[C]

Definitely. Love it.

[B]

What do you want from your English learning in 2026? Fill out our five minute survey and your answers will directly shape future episodes, courses and tools here at Allers English. As a thank you, you'll be entered to win a free virtual meet and greet with the Allers English host of your choice. Me, Lindsay, Aubry or Michelle. It only takes five minutes and your voice matters. Take the survey. Now go to allearsenglish.com survey that's allearsenglish.com S U R V E Y thanks, guys.

[A]

All right, Michelle, let's do a role play. You and I are friends meeting for lunch. In this role play, I'll start us out. Hey, sorry I'm late. I told myself I'd leave the house earlier today, but here we are.

[C]

It's fine. Honestly. On the walk over, I said to myself, she is probably stuck in traffic again.

[A]

Accurate. Every morning lately, I say to myself, today I'm going to be on time. Hasn't worked yet.

[C]

Story of my life. I told myself I wouldn't buy any more coffee out. And then the second I passed a cafe, I said to myself, well, one cup won't hurt.

[A]

That's so real. When I opened my bank app last night, I literally said to myself, okay, this needs to stop.

[C]

I love this role play. This is very, very realistic. And oh my Gosh So fun.

[A]

Totally. And you can see where you kind of do need say or said and told, because we will use it multiple times like this in a conversation. You wouldn't want to say the exact same chunk I said to myself.

[C]

I said, every. Right. Exactly. So let's go through it. So you said, hey, sorry I'm late. I told myself I'd leave the house earlier today, but here we are.

[A]

So I thought this, right. Yesterday, I thought, gonna leave on time. I'm gonna get there on time. And that's another way to say it. I told myself I'd leave the house earlier. And then you said, it's fine. Honestly. On the walk over, I said to myself, she's probably stuck in traffic again. So again, you just thought. And you could say, I thought. On the way over, I thought, I bet she's going to be stuck in traffic again.

[C]

Right, Right.

[A]

Something that's happened to me a lot, evidently. Oh, yeah, of course. Me too.

[C]

And then you said, and every morning lately, I say to myself, today I'm going to be on time. Okay? So. Yeah, you think to yourself. You're. You're thinking of it.

[A]

Exactly. Habitual actions. We would use present tense, right? This happens every morning. And if you were going to use past tense, you'd need the present perf. Every morning I have said to myself, right, I'm going to be on time because this is something that's going to happen again. Right. Or you can use present tense like this. This is habitual. It's always true. I always say to myself, today I'm going to be on time. And then it never happens.

[C]

Yeah, that. That happens to me.

[A]

Happens to the best of us. Anyone with kids. That's our excuse.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, my gosh. You know, I feel like there's like mom time, you know, Especially when you're. If I'm trying to get together with friends for a play date, it could just. Just. It could be on time, but it could also be a half an hour later. Yeah, yeah. And. And there's just kind of this code where the parents understand, you know, it's. It's. I think it's different from any other social interaction.

[A]

Totally. We make it. Need to make it more like appliance repair, where we say, like, I'll be there between noon and four, and then I'll text you when I have a closer eta.

[C]

Hilarious. I love that. Or furniture delivery.

[A]

Exactly. That's more realistic for a mom, really.

[C]

True, true.

[A]

So then you said, story of my life. I told myself I wouldn't Buy any more coffee. So, like, you had. Had this thought, I need to stop buying coffee out. Like, I need to make it at home to save some money. But then as soon as you passed a cafe, I said to myself, well, one cup won't hurt. And this is when I use this realistic. Yes. This is for all of us. Right. Best laid plans.

[C]

I mean, it could be anything. I mean, or like, I told myself I would eat less sugar. I told myself I, I wouldn't, you know, that I would eat healthy because I have a really. I have a wedding coming up where I'm gonna, you know. But I passed a cookie shop. I told. I said to myself, yeah, and this.

[A]

Is where we wouldn't just use. I thought, right. We wouldn't say, like, right, I thought I wouldn't eat any more cookies. No, we're using this other meaning of I told myself, or I said to myself, of like, setting a goal, motivating yourself, trying to, like, commit to something.

[C]

Right, right, right, exactly. And then you said, that's so real. When I opened my bank app last night, I literally said to myself, I. Okay, this needs to stop.

[A]

Yeah. And this is interesting to use literally. We've talked about this before. Literally is interesting in the English language. I could mean that I literally said out loud, okay, this needs to stop. But it also could mean that I just thought that. And I'm just using literally to try and emphasize. Right.

[C]

Yeah. And also I want to make one more interesting point about. This is kind of how our voice changes when we get to the thought, when we get to the thing we're saying. Because you don't say, I literally said to myself, okay, this needs to stop.

[A]

Stop.

[C]

Right. It's kind of point. You kind of put on a voice in a little way, right? Oh, I literally said to myself, okay, this needs to stop. Right. You have to have a little feeling with it. Otherwise, I, I don't think that it's going to be as interesting. And we're here, we're storytelling, right?

[A]

Yes, exactly. Right. We're narrating our thoughts and we do change our tone, our pitch to make it interesting. It would be strange to say any of this in a monotone. That's one of the best things about these role plays is our voices sort of take on the tone of how we would actually use it in a conversation.

[C]

Right. And I go, even go back to the one before I told myself, I wouldn't buy any more coffee out. So here you're. You're not really. It's not really a Piece of dialogue. Right. I've told myself I want to do this. And then the second I passed a cafe, I said to myself, well, one cup won't hurt.

[A]

Right.

[C]

You're not going to say I said to myself, well, one cup won't hurt.

[A]

That's true. Right.

[C]

You're going to pause, you're going to.

[A]

Change the tone dialogue. We would write it in quotes even though we didn't say it. It's a thought that's sort of being expressed as dialogue and we really change our voice for that to make it more interesting.

[C]

Yeah, definitely. Well, if you want to hear more about how to be a good storyteller, check out episode 2401 of Ollie's English. And that was how to be a more interesting storyteller.

[A]

Yes, that was reporting speech with I was all I was like very casual. Great for stories, for conversations. And if you missed that episode, be sure to hit follow right here on Oller' English because you are missing great episodes.

[C]

Yes, exactly. We come out with a lot of episodes. Make it easy on yourself. Let the episodes just come right into your queue. So Aubry, takeaways for today, what do you think?

[A]

Yeah, well, definitely reporting thoughts, you know, makes you a better storyteller, makes conversation more interesting. Think about this. Using present tense to bring someone into the story and then use and also what a connection skill to share what you're committing to do. I told myself I would do that. Especially if you then don't do it. Right. I love this. I think this bonds you to someone when you share what you committed to and then didn't. Didn't follow.

[C]

Absolutely. Absolutely. This Aubry, this is a really fun topic. I like this a lot. Very useful.

[A]

Guys. You're.

[C]

You will start noticing that people use these in everyday life and it's just very, very interesting to listen to. Very good for self expression, expression. So definitely give these a try.

[A]

Awesome. Thanks for joining me today, Michelle and I'll see you next time.

[C]

All right, Aubrey, thank you.

[A]

Thanks guys. Bye bye.

[B]

Thanks for listening. To all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz, go to allearsenglish.com forward/fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.

[D]

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