
Learn how to use the phrase can't help it in English
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Lindsay McMahon
This is an All Ears English podcast.
Michelle Kaplan
Episode 2557. Can't help it how Imperfection Leads to connection.
Lindsay McMahon
Welcome to the All Ears English podcast. Downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American hosts and Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl coming to you from Colorado and New York City, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward/app.
Michelle Kaplan
What are your weaknesses?
Dessert shopping. When you share these, you open yourself.
Up to more connection because you show.
You are not perfect today.
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Hey, Lindsay, how are you?
Lindsay McMahon
I'm feeling good today, Michelle.
Michelle Kaplan
How are you?
I'm good, I'm good. Yeah. Happy to be recording.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah. Michelle, I do have a question because I know I have a sweet tooth.
Michelle Kaplan
Okay.
Lindsay McMahon
Well, so what about you, Michelle? Do you have dessert after every meal?
Michelle Kaplan
No, not every meal, just sometimes. What about you?
Lindsay McMahon
Oh, really? Yeah. I can't help eating something sweet after meals. I just feel like I need it. Yeah.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah.
Lindsay McMahon
I feel like lately I've been having a lot of sweets. It's like, you know, it's. We're right now we're recording this right before Christmas. So there's just, there's sweets everywhere, right?
Michelle Kaplan
Hot chocolate everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. It's really. And yeah, bite here, a bite there, there. And before you know it, you've had three donuts. That's true. So today we're going to talk about how to say you are unable to stop yourself from doing something. This is going to be really fun. So this key way is I can't help X.
Lindsay McMahon
Yes, yes. And of course, we have to give a nod to. Well, Elvis had a song. I think the title of the song was I can't help falling in love with you.
Michelle Kaplan
Right. Can't help falling in love. Yep.
Lindsay McMahon
Show. But you could look it up on YouTube and, and, and you'll. And you'll find it. Did you see the movie about Elvis, the recent one?
Michelle Kaplan
I camera did. Was it good? It was good.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah. I would. It gives you a lot of historical background. I mean, he's such an important figure in our musical history. I would watch it if you. If you get a chance.
Michelle Kaplan
Okay. Yeah, that's good to know. All right, so I can't help something. This means you can't avoid it. You can't stop it. It almost feels like it's a little out of your control. Even if it is in your control, but you kind of. You kind of surrender to it, right?
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah. It's a very common chunk, a very common phrase that our listeners need to know here. Right. They're going to hear it a lot.
Michelle Kaplan
Right. Or sometimes you might just hear people say, I can't help it. Right. I just. I can't help it. Like in this little. We're gonna do a little mini role play, Lindsay. So.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah. Okay.
Michelle Kaplan
Okay.
Lindsay McMahon
All right. Michelle, you bought another bag.
Michelle Kaplan
I can't help it. I'm a shopaholic. Not true.
Lindsay McMahon
Is this true about you?
Michelle Kaplan
No, not true. Not true. Not true.
Lindsay McMahon
This wouldn't be a bad affliction, right, to be a shopaholic? I think not good.
Michelle Kaplan
Yes, exactly. Exactly. So, but again, I just said, I can't help it. It's basically saying, I. There's nothing I can do. This is who I am.
Lindsay McMahon
Right? Yeah, It's. It's about self control, right? This, this phrase, I have no control. I have no self control. I have to buy the bags when I see them.
Michelle Kaplan
Yes, exactly. Or you could also use it like this. I love Boba so much. Whenever I see a store, I have to get one. I can't help it.
Lindsay McMahon
Yes, I love it. Do you have any specific kind of food? Rochelle, that is just your weakness. Like, when you see it, you have to go into the shop and get it. You just can't help it.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, I mean, I. I think. I mean, we, you know, French fries are a weakness of mine. What else can't I help? There are these cookies in this store that's not far from where I live. Oh, they're delicious. They're like, it's their holiday season special, their December Special. And it's like a chocolate peppermint cookie.
Lindsay McMahon
Oh, yum.
Michelle Kaplan
Delicious. Yeah. So what about you?
Lindsay McMahon
Well, I think so. For me, it's not so much that I'll go into a store and buy it. It's more like if I'm at an event and there's. And there's sweets out, if there's brownies or cookies, I will definitely have one almost all the time.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, I can't help it. Yeah, I can't help it. I can't help it. Yeah. So, you know, we also use it with that grammatical structure I touched on earlier. Can't help verb plus ing. So you wouldn't use this with an infinitive. You're using it verb ing. So again, like Elvis can't help falling.
Lindsay McMahon
In love with you. Yes.
Michelle Kaplan
So here are some examples of that. Lindsay, you want to do the first one?
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah. I can't help laughing every time I see my friend make a funny face. So again, self control. Like, there. There are times when you just can't not laug Right.
Michelle Kaplan
Have. Have you ever. Yeah, when you get the giggles. Have you ever been in an inappropriate situation and.
Lindsay McMahon
Oh, yeah, for sure. We've talked about this on the show before. I think it was. Yeah, it happens sometimes. It hasn't happened to me in a little while, but there are notable times, especially in school when I was a kid. And you just like, it's bad, right? Because it's really bad at that time. And then you can't control yourself.
Michelle Kaplan
You can't help it. You can't help laughing or. Here's another one. I can't help worrying about my work problems at home. That's not good.
Lindsay McMahon
That's not good. Yeah. So what is something. I'm trying to think of other things we can't help. So, I mean, I guess I have some healthy habits too. Like, I. I feel like if I go through a day and I haven't really done anything active, like, even gone for a nice walk, like, I don't feel good. So I can't help not moving every day, I guess.
Michelle Kaplan
Well, for me, it's. I can't help going to sleep late. That's my. You know, we. I've talked about that a lot on the show. I mean, I'm a night owl. And even when I think, oh, like, sure, tonight is gonna be the night. And even sometimes if I try and go to sleep earlier, then I can't sleep. So. Yeah. Yeah, that's. I can't help it.
Lindsay McMahon
What about coffee? Do you feel like you're addicted to coffee. That's what for sure. For me, I can't help drinking coffee every morning. I have to have my coffee.
Michelle Kaplan
Oh, I have to have it every morning too.
Lindsay McMahon
Okay.
Michelle Kaplan
I've been trying to cut back on a little bit with the afternoon, but still, like, it's. Yeah, it's hard.
Lindsay McMahon
It's something wrong if a morning has happened and there's been no coffee.
Michelle Kaplan
Oh, that something's not right. But has that ever happened to you where you don't even realize, like, you were busy, you were running out or something and you, like, didn't finish your coffee and then later you're like, whoa. What? How did that happen?
Lindsay McMahon
I know. It's just part of the morning. For me, it's more the ritual. It's just the making of the coffee, the smell.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah.
Lindsay McMahon
Just having it by my desk, it's.
Michelle Kaplan
Just, oh, now I want a coffee.
Lindsay McMahon
Yep. Not in the microphone.
Michelle Kaplan
No.
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Lindsay McMahon
All right, Michelle, so how does it sound to you when someone says they can't help it or they can't help doing something? Is this childish because we're talking about self control? Is it whiny? Is it like, do you lose respect for them?
Michelle Kaplan
No. I mean, I think it depends what you're talking about. I mean, if you're just like, I can't help it about everything. Right. I think that that could sound a little bit.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah. A little personal control.
Michelle Kaplan
Right, Right.
Lindsay McMahon
For some things. Yeah. But it's okay to. I think it's okay for people to have some weaknesses.
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Right.
Lindsay McMahon
We're not perfect beings here. Right.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, exactly. So I think, I actually think it's a good connection topic because you're sharing something about who you are. You're self aware and maybe that person can agree with you or they have a similar situation. I. So I don't think it necessarily sounds childish, but I think it could, depending on how you say it and what you're talking about.
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Yeah.
Lindsay McMahon
I mean, reserve it for the situations where you truly feel like you have no control. And you want to share that.
Michelle Kaplan
Right.
Lindsay McMahon
Like my dog, he always. Our listeners who have dogs are going to know this. He'll get zoomy, what we call zoomies.
Michelle Kaplan
I remember you taught me that word.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, Zoomies. And he'll just run in circle. Especially after he goes to the bathroom, he'll do this. I don't know why, he just gets really excited and he runs in circles and he sprints and I always say, like, you know, just let him do it because he can't help it. He just has all this energy bubbling up. He has to get it out. Right. He's just, he's a being too, you know? Yeah. He has to do what he has to do. Right.
Michelle Kaplan
He's got to do it. You got to get those zoomies out.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, totally.
Michelle Kaplan
I mean, it's similar also with, with children and so fun.
Yeah.
We have always relate. Kids and dogs. But yeah, like, it, it's so hard sometimes because, you know, I have a three and a half year old. Well, more than that now. And you know, she. Three is a tough age and I love her so much and sometimes she, you know, she just. It'll be a tantrum about something where you're like, what? But she can't help it. It's the age, you know, it's. They, they don't have fully developed brains.
Lindsay McMahon
Totally. Yeah, you have to all the time.
Michelle Kaplan
Right. And it's hard. It's hard sometimes. But then you have to think, no, no, no. Like I. They don't it. It. She can't help it. She can't help it.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, she can't help it. And yeah, it's like you want to be able to speak for her and be like, I know you can't help it. So you know, it's. This is, yeah, this is just. Well, this is part of being human, right? Or, or being an animal, a dog or something. So what are some other examples, Michelle?
Michelle Kaplan
Well, yeah, I mean one thing, one other thing you might hear is I can't stand. Stop myself from. Okay, so for example, I can't stop myself from playing with my hair when I'm nervous.
Lindsay McMahon
Ah, yes. And this is where it could veer into like if you're in a job interview, that's something we probably want to work on.
Michelle Kaplan
Right.
Lindsay McMahon
Certain habits we want to be aware of. Right.
Michelle Kaplan
Or I, I can't stop.
Lindsay McMahon
Right. I can't stop eating these chips. Sometimes you'll hear someone say I, I can't stop. Take them away. Right?
Michelle Kaplan
Yes, yes, yes. Do you do that? I'm like, hide these away from me.
Lindsay McMahon
Well, there are certain foods, I mean that are just engineered to be. There's this thing that sometimes we buy and my father in law buys it. It's. They're like these, I don't know, these little Triscuits that have like sugar and salt and he calls them crack because they are like a drug. They like, once you open that bag, you cannot not eat them. It's incredible.
Michelle Kaplan
Are they Triscuits? Are they like.
Lindsay McMahon
They're not. No, Triscuits are a, they're just like a, a biscuit type thing, but more of a cracker.
Michelle Kaplan
But then they have just the perfect.
Lindsay McMahon
Engineered combination of salt and sweet. And I mean the company, Big Food does this on purpose. They know exactly what they're doing. Right. This is science for them. They engineer it this way.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, that's how I am with like popcorn, salty stuff. I mean we just, we had my son's birthday party and we had it at our house, so we had all these leftovers and I just, it's terrible like because I cannot have that in, in the house because if I do, I will eat it. I can't stop myself.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, that's kind of my trick too is we don't usually on a normal basis, we don't really buy sweets, we don't have ice cream in the house. We don't really have too much stuff like that because it's just too easy to go, especially in the evening and go get some, you know.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. But you might also hear someone say something like, I can't resist.
Right.
I can't resist a good reality TV show. Right.
Lindsay McMahon
Or I can't resist a girls trip with my friends. Right.
Michelle Kaplan
Or I can't resist drinking a second cup of coffee in the afternoon?
Lindsay McMahon
Yes. Good. So are these all the same, all these alternatives that we've talked about versus I can't help. Any slight differences we need to know about?
Michelle Kaplan
I think the only thing I would say is I can't resist. It almost sounds to me more like a guilty pleasure. Right. It's.
Lindsay McMahon
It's.
Michelle Kaplan
The others sound more to me like, oh, you can't control yourself.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah.
Michelle Kaplan
But this one more sounds like it would be used for, like. I don't think I would say I can't resist playing with my hair when I'm nervous. I can't resist biting my nail. Something like that.
Lindsay McMahon
So, yeah. Yeah.
Michelle Kaplan
It's more that one, I think. I mean, I can't stop myself. That can also be for guilty pleasure. But I think I can't resist is especially for like. Like, oh, I can't resist a chocolate chip cookie.
Lindsay McMahon
Like an indulgence kind of thing?
Michelle Kaplan
Yes. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
Lindsay McMahon
Very slight differences, though, right?
Michelle Kaplan
Exactly. So here's a couple questions. Lindsay. Can you resist an iced coffee on a hot day?
Lindsay McMahon
Some days I can't. Most of the time, iced coffee. So coffee for me is more like a ritual. I don't crave coffee. It's more of a habitual thing. I crave the habit. I crave satisfying the habit loop. You know, if you think about the. The brain, how it works with habits, I crave that, and I do enjoy the taste, but I don't. I'd be more likely to crave, like, an ice cream on a hot day.
Michelle Kaplan
You know what I mean?
Lindsay McMahon
Michelle, what about you? Can you. Can. Can't you help doing? What can't you help doing when you're traveling? What is something you can't help doing? Like, do you stop at gas stations and get junk food? That kind of thing?
Michelle Kaplan
No, I would say I can't help.
Help.
Like, if I'm on a really big trip, I can't help, like, constantly looking for souvenirs for my family to bring home. I get very.
It's.
I get very. But I get nervous about it, and I want to find, like, the perfect thing. And then Dan's always like, you see this? Just get it. And then it's over with. And then I'm like, well, but maybe I'll find something, you know? And I. I. So I. I can't, Like, I can't help it. Interesting.
Lindsay McMahon
That's really nice and generous. That reminds me a lot of when I was in Japan. They have a big tradition. I think the word is omiyage. Maybe I'm. Our listeners are gonna. If I'm getting that wrong, they'll have to let us know. There was a word for this. It's gift giving when you travel. So it was when I would go away for a weekend with my Japanese friends, we'd spend like, half the last day of our trip finding gifts. And I was. I was kind of like, wow, this is significant. Significantly different from American culture. Even just a ski weekend in the mountains, we would spend a good chunk of time finding the right gift to bring back for work. Really interesting. I love it. I love it.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah. Yeah. So I. I tend to get a little nervous about that, and I want to find good stuff. So let's do a role play. Here we are friends, and we are in Chelsea Market in New York, one of my favorite places.
Lindsay McMahon
Yeah, that's a good place. All right, let's go there. Here we go.
Michelle Kaplan
Okay.
Lindsay McMahon
Okay.
Michelle Kaplan
Oh, wow.
Look at this slice.
Lindsay McMahon
Oh, wow. I can't resist a good New York pizza.
Michelle Kaplan
Same. You know what? I love the dollar slices, too. I can't help it.
Lindsay McMahon
They are so good. Also, I can't stop myself from nibbling on all the food whenever I come here.
Michelle Kaplan
Seriously. It's like how I am in Costco. I can't help trying all the samples.
Lindsay McMahon
The best. I totally agree. Pizza is another thing. It's hard when the smell just kind of carries across the street somewhere, you know? I mean.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, that just happened to me yesterday. I ate lunch somewhere, and then I walked out, and this smell just hit me in the face from a pizza place. And I just eaten lunch, and then I'm thinking, oh, my God.
Lindsay McMahon
So pizza is the worst. Pizza or a donut shop. You go into a donut shop, coffee shop, I guess. But pizza is the worst, I think.
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lindsay McMahon
Okay. So you said. I said first. Wow. I can't resist a good New York pizza. Yeah.
Michelle Kaplan
So we're kind of. I'm imagining we're in Chelsea Market. Maybe we're looking at kind of one of those gourmet. Like a gourmet slice or something. And then I said, I love the dollar slices. I can't help it. So. Yeah, because in New York, they also have, like, really cheap ones, you know, just like all around, like on the corner or whatever. Oh, yeah. They're pretty good, too.
Lindsay McMahon
It's a big part of New York culture, living in New York, stopping in to get slice. Grab a slice is what they say. And sometimes people will eat it on the street, which is a big. No, no. In other cultures. I Know, but it's okay in New York to eat on the street. It's just like part of the lifestyle. Grabbing a slice, right? Yep, yep. And then I said, they are so good. Also, I can't stop myself from nibbling on all the food. So maybe I'm talking about little samples or little. Just little things I might buy, right?
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah. And then I said, seriously, it's like how I am in Costco. I can't help all the samples. So, guys, if you haven't been to Costco, they have samples all out and it's very exciting. And you can pretty much get a whole lunch there just by eating the samples.
Lindsay McMahon
It's true. Well, we've done an episode on. Well, we've done an episode about Costco. I don't know if it was about samples, but yeah, we did something about it.
Michelle Kaplan
It was about the experience of Costco, I think so.
Lindsay McMahon
Funny. So this is a very typical conversation, again, a connection moment. Because I think when we reveal the things about ourselves that are not perfect, it leads to people of connecting with us more. Right. And this kind of comes back to connection. Not perfection, but imperfections create connection in a way. Don't you think?
Michelle Kaplan
I like that? Yes. I like that very much, Lindsay. I think that's true.
Lindsay McMahon
No one's perfect.
Michelle Kaplan
No one's perfect.
Lindsay McMahon
No one's like a perfect model of health or lifestyle. Right. So just admit it. And then that's where the connection shows up.
Michelle Kaplan
Yes, that's true. So this is a very big connection episode as well as well. So, guys, check out episode 2514. We did that. That was called a foolproof method to.
Lindsay McMahon
Express yourself so good. And that, I mean, that kind of is the takeaway. This has been a true connection episode. Don't be afraid to talk about your weaknesses, the things you can't help doing, because that will open people up to you. Right? It makes you more interesting, right?
Michelle Kaplan
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So really good stuff today, Lindsay. Thanks for talking about this with me and I will see you next time. Next time.
Lindsay McMahon
All right, Michelle, take care. Talk soon.
Michelle Kaplan
All right, Bye.
Lindsay McMahon
Bye. Thanks for listening. To all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward/fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.
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Hosts: Lindsay McMahon & Michelle Kaplan
Date: January 29, 2026
In this engaging episode, Lindsay and Michelle explore how embracing imperfection in language and daily habits helps foster real human connection. Centered around the English expression "I can't help it," they discuss how acknowledging personal weaknesses, quirks, and honest struggles provides opportunities for deeper, more relatable interactions—not just in English learning but also in everyday life. The conversation is light-hearted, filled with real-life examples, practical language tips, and a strong focus on the podcast's core philosophy: Connection, not perfection.
"When you share these, you open yourself up to more connection because you show you are not perfect." (Michelle at 01:07)
Lindsay: "Michelle, you bought another bag."
Michelle: "I can't help it. I'm a shopaholic." (04:40–04:43)
"It’s about self control, right? This phrase, I have no control. I have no self control." (Lindsay at 05:06)
"I actually think it’s a good connection topic because you’re sharing something about who you are. You’re self-aware and maybe that person can agree with you or they have a similar situation." (Michelle at 11:00)
"‘I can’t resist’… almost sounds to me more like a guilty pleasure." (Michelle at 15:17)
"When we reveal the things about ourselves that are not perfect, it leads to people connecting with us more." (Lindsay at 20:44)
"Don't be afraid to talk about your weaknesses, the things you can’t help doing, because that will open people up to you. It makes you more interesting." (Lindsay at 21:08)
The conversation is lively, empathetic, and supportive—with a balance of humor, vulnerability, and direct language learning tips. The hosts encourage listeners to embrace imperfection, both in language and in life, always reminding that openness builds bridges between people.
This episode not only teaches useful, everyday English expressions but also delivers an uplifting message: let your imperfections show! They are bridges, not barriers, to stronger connections.