AEE 2578: Don’t Fall Into These Conversation Traps

Summary

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All Ears English Podcast – Episode 2578

Title: Don’t Fall Into These Conversation Traps
Hosts: Lindsay McMahon & Aubrey Carter
Date: March 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode goes beyond language and dives deep into American culture, specifically focusing on what not to say in conversations related to someone’s appearance or physical condition. Lindsay and Aubrey highlight phrases and comments that, while possibly benign or even caring in other cultures, can break connection or cause discomfort in the U.S. They walk through common “conversation traps” and provide clear guidelines for ESL learners to build more positive, respectful relationships in American settings.

Main theme: What to avoid saying about someone’s appearance—especially to avoid unintentionally offending or alienating people in the U.S.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Cultural Nuance of Commenting on Appearance

• American culture considers many appearance-related comments intrusive or rude, even if the intention is positive ([03:25]).
• There’s often a “privacy bubble” around health and appearance, which varies greatly from other cultures ([05:00]).

"You might be a lot more comfortable commenting on someone's physical appearance than you should in the United States."
— Aubrey Carter ([03:25])

• Comments made out of care or concern can break connection rather than foster it ([05:44]).

2. Categories of Conversation Traps to Avoid

a) Health or Physical Condition ([04:40])

• Avoid commenting on tiredness, sickness, or physical states like paleness or redness.
• Examples to avoid:
  • “You look tired.”
  • “Are you sick?”
  • “Your face is red/flushed.”

"Usually if someone is sick...they would want to be the one to share that with you."
— Aubrey Carter ([06:41])

• Host reactions: These comments are not usually deeply offensive, but can be slightly annoying and are a subtle turnoff ([05:35]).

b) Body Size, Shape, and Weight ([09:17])

• Even compliments about weight loss or gain can feel unwelcome.
  • “You look like you’ve lost weight!”
  • “You’ve filled out.”
  • “You look so skinny now.”
• Particularly true around ongoing trends (e.g., weight loss medication) ([09:42]).

"People are more than their weight."
— Lindsey McMahon ([08:39])

• Outfits: Avoid linking clothing comments to body shape. Instead, focus on the clothes themselves ([11:00]).

c) Age ([12:05])

• Comments about looking young or old are tricky in the U.S.
  • “You look great for your age.”
  • “You don’t look your age.”
  • “You’re too young/old to look so tired.”

"If you think you're complimenting someone looking young...it’s still uncomfortable."
— Aubrey Carter ([12:17])

d) Skin, Face, or Natural Features ([13:05])

• Don't mention acne, bruises, spots, redness, wrinkles, thinning hair, freckles, or pale/flushed appearance.
• Even well-meaning comments about skin quality may imply you’ve noticed previous “bad” days ([14:24]).

"We all see it, we don't need to mention it."
— Aubrey Carter ([13:43])

e) Assumptions Based on Appearance & Grooming Choices ([16:21])

• Don’t assume someone is pregnant, stressed, tired, or didn’t get enough sleep.
• Avoid remarks about makeup, hairstyles, or hair color choices.

"You should cut your hair. You should try blonde."
— Example of what not to say, Aubrey Carter ([17:19])

• Special note for the workplace: These comments can cross into harassment or create an HR issue, especially across gender lines ([17:36]).

"If you say anything about someone's body...you could wind up in HR, so just don't do it."
— Aubrey Carter ([17:49])

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3. How to Make Positive, Connection-Focused Compliments ([18:36] Role Play Segment)

• Compliment clothing choices, colors, or accessories—not the body itself.
• Focus on things within someone's control, and avoid implying comparison to their body or past appearances.

Example Role Play ([18:41–19:41]):

• “Hey, I love that jacket. Where did you get it?”
• “I love the color, it goes really well with your shoes.”
• “It works. I like the whole outfit.”

"You can compliment someone's clothing as long as you're not implying something about their body or their appearance."
— Aubrey Carter ([19:07])

• Subtle difference between “I love that dress” (OK) and “You look great in that dress” (borderline, could imply a body comment).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "There are a lot of other ways to show that you care."
  — Lindsey McMahon ([06:27])

• "This can be very offensive in American culture for sure."
  — Aubrey Carter ([20:34])

• "Play it safe for more success and more connection."
  — Lindsey McMahon ([21:33])

• On translation traps:

  "Some people are translating directly from their own language...so it's almost like we have to change our thoughts as well in some ways."
  — Lindsey McMahon ([21:13])

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Practical Takeaways

• Don’t comment on any perceived negative changes in a person’s physical appearance.
• Err on the side of caution: Compliment style or items (clothes, accessories), never bodies or appearance.
• Context matters: What might be normal in your culture could cause discomfort or even offense in U.S. settings.
• Workplace rule of thumb: Avoid all appearance-related comments, especially cross-gender.

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Important Timestamps

• 03:25 – “You might be a lot more comfortable commenting…” (culture shock insight)
• 05:35 – Intensity of offense (not deeply offensive, but mildly annoying)
• 06:41 – Health/personal agency discussion
• 08:39 – “People are more than their weight.”
• 12:17 – Age as a taboo topic
• 13:43 – “We all see it; we don’t need to mention it.”
• 17:49 – Sexual harassment warning in the workplace
• 18:41–19:41 – Positive role play: complimenting clothing vs. body

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Final Thoughts from Hosts

• Aubrey Carter: “Don't comment on someone's physical appearance...this can be very offensive in American culture, for sure.” ([20:34])
• Lindsey McMahon: “Take some time after this episode to reflect on which of these are acceptable in your own culture...We may be translating thoughts...it's almost like we have to change our thoughts as well.” ([21:13])

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Action Step:
Reflect on your own cultural norms. Avoid direct translations of appearance-related comments and focus instead on building connections that respect the U.S. cultural context.

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To keep learning, be sure to follow the podcast for the next episode!

Transcript

[Aubrey Carter]

This is an Allers English podcast, episode 2578. Don't fall into these conversation traps.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, and Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, usa. And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com subscribe. Today is a what not to say episode. Find out what comments you should avoid, especially about someone's appearance that may be okay in your own culture, but will get you into trouble in the US.

[Podcast Narrator]

Have you ever walked out of a meeting thinking, I could have said that better. You understood everything, but your response came out short or unclear or not quite like you. Maybe your ideas are strong, but your English doesn't show it yet. You forget words you know you can't explain things naturally, and fast conversations leave you quietly. Catching up that gap can be frustrating, but it's also very specific and very fixable. Our two minute fluency quiz helps you understand where that gap is and whether Your level is B1, B2, or C1. When you know your level, progress feels lighter and faster.

[Aubrey Carter]

Faster.

[Podcast Narrator]

Take the quiz [e-mail] fluencyscore and move closer to speaking English the way you think. One more time. Go to allearsenglish.com flu e n c Y S C O R E.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Hello

[Aubrey Carter]

Lindsay, how are you today?

[Lindsey McMahon]

I'm feeling energetic today. Aubry, how about you?

[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah, you don't look tired. Does anyone ever tell you you look tired?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, I just got that like two nights ago.

[Aubrey Carter]

I know this came up in a recent episode, right, where we sort of mentioned that like, oh, don't tell people they look tired. And we promised this follow up with sort of phrases we should avoid when referring to someone's appearance. So I'm excited to get into this.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I'm excited because this episode, this concept is so cultural, really important. The person that told me I looked tired two nights ago, I was at a dinner with a community meditation group. It was an at an Indian restaurant. And the guy was actually, he's from India but he lives in the US and you know, works in the US and he just, he said it out of care, right? Of like, oh, you look so tired now evenings. And he was, he was a conversation starter. He wanted to know about my life. So I think it's really cultural this Episode.

[Aubrey Carter]

Absolutely. Very cultural. So a lot of what we're sharing is about American culture, what this is like in the United States. This could be very different in your culture, and that's sort of what causes the problem. You might be a lot more comfortable commenting on someone's physical appearance than you should in the United States.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, it's really interesting if. Yeah, really good stuff. So I'm glad we're covering this today for our listeners. We're going beyond language and into culture, and of course, always sticking with connection. We'll show you why these break the connection. But first, guys, hit the follow button right here on the show. If you're on Apple, if you are in Spotify, we want to see you following the show. So we drop into your listening queue every. We do publish five days a week. Aubry over here. Yeah, don't we?

[Aubrey Carter]

I know, it's amazing. Five episodes a week. That's got to be a record.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh, yeah, it's probably a record. It's probably a record. Plus, if you like to watch us on YouTube, that's another way to learn. You could hit subscribe on YouTube. So you have lots of options, but make sure you are right there with us on a regular basis. Okay.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes. Watch on YouTube to make it worth me doing my hair, makeup. Very nice.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Very nice. So what would be. So here in this episode, we have a number of categories of types of things you want to stay away from. And then we'll say exact things you don't want to say, right? What?

[Aubrey Carter]

Not exactly. Yeah. So the first one we're talking about is health or physical condition. So this. First of all, in the United States, these can feel very intrusive or judgmental.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yes.

[Aubrey Carter]

And that you may accidentally be referring to private health issues that someone would not want pointed out or would not feel comfortable discussing.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, for sure. I agree. Intrusive. It is sort of. It's penetrating the privacy bubble that in the US we construct around ourselves, Right?

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes, exactly. So we're going to share some specific examples. And a lot of these, like you said, Lindsay, rarely is offense intended. You don't mean to tell someone that they look sick or tired. You just are maybe starting a conversation or just sort of stating something that just seems matter of the fact, matter of fact to you. But in United States culture, this often would be interpreted as a criticism or as intrusive.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. And I just want to, like, do a little gut check on the intensity of this. So if you say these things, it's not like people are like, I can't believe you said that. Oh, my gosh. We can't talk.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I'll never talk to you again. This is more an slightly offensive and slightly annoy. Somewhere between offensive and annoying for people to get these questions. Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

Absolutely. They might be like, okay, rude.

[Lindsey McMahon]

All right. Then they might try to steer the question. They'll probably keep talking to you. It's just a little bit of a turnoff, I would say.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes, exactly. So the first one we mentioned is just, you look tired. Right. So just definitely any appear. Anything that could at all be considered negative about someone's appearance.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

That's we would want to avoid.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. Because it can't go in any good direction. They have to say, oh, yeah, yeah, I've been working a lot. Sleeping, sleep. Like, where can that go? That's good. Right? I know.

[Aubrey Carter]

You know, oh, I'm not tired. I'm just not wearing makeup or something.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Right. Or something. I know, again, that the person's just saying it because they want to show that they care. There are a lot of other ways to show that you care. You've been listening. You want to ask them about something you know, they participated in last week. Maybe they had a job interview.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right, right, exactly. So you wouldn't want to say, like, you look tired or are you tired? Or maybe something like, are you sick? Because if in the United States, usually if someone is sick, for example, if they have cancer, they would want to be the one to share that with you. They wouldn't want to have to share it because you have pointed out that they don't look healthy.

[Lindsey McMahon]

100. They should have full agency with that.

[Aubrey Carter]

And so when they're ready. When and if they're ready.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. The next one that I find extremely annoying is, you know, less offensive, more annoying, just. Right. Like, your face is red or you look so red. Are you okay? Or your face is flushed. This is annoying. My face gets red sometimes if I'm drinking alcohol or. Or if I'm embarrassed. And, like, trust me, I know if my face is red. Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

Oh, yeah, I feel it. It's. I. My face also will get so red if I'm embarrassed or nervous. And I've had people say this to me and point it out, and that doesn't help.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I know. And usually it's not just they're saying it to you. They're saying it to you in front of a group. So then everyone looks at you, which means you get more red.

[Aubrey Carter]

Makes it worse. Yes, I know. Don't say this to people, please.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Just say, let's Make a public service announcement. Okay.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes, I agree. I'm saying this with my chest. It's a phrase that means I really feel strongly that no one should ever say that to someone else.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Just leave it alone. They know what's going on. They. They'll calm down and just let them be. Okay. That's it.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes. And then it's interesting because physical condition also encompasses weight. And even if you're trying to compliment someone by saying something like, oh, you look like you've lost a lot of weight. Right. This is. And this can move into our next bucket. But, yeah, this. Even if you're trying to compliment someone.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

Or tell them they look healthy, they might not take it well.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Exactly. It would be a gamble, this one with some people. They'd like it. I mean, I like to hear that because it's. But then I think this person pays a lot of attention to my weight.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I will overthink it.

[Aubrey Carter]

Which I don't love.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Right. Because what about if in two weeks they come in and she thinks, oh, she's gained it back, you know?

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly.

[Lindsey McMahon]

So again, any kind of signal that you're, like, really paying attention to the person's weight is better to avoid because people are more than their weight.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right, Exactly. And the final one in this health bucket is asking someone if they're pregnant or congratulating them for being pregnant. There's nothing worse than congratulating someone on a pregnancy. And then they say, oh, I'm not pregnant, pregnant.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Be careful.

[Aubrey Carter]

It's just better to not ever do that.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Don't assume totally this happens in the movies sometimes. It might. You may have seen it happen in real life.

[Aubrey Carter]

Avoid, avoid, avoid.

[Lindsey McMahon]

So all. So the. The bucket here is really physical. Right. Health or physical condition. What would be the next bucket?

[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah, so we kind of touched in this because it is related to health as well. If you're trying to compliment health. But the next one is body size, shape, or weight. So like we said, even if you're trying to compliment. If you say something like, wow, so skinny, now you're still comparing to maybe what they used to look like. So even a compliment could land badly.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. And this is a really pertinent episode because a lot of people are losing weight on weight loss drugs right now.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

It's happening all over the US and so we need to know this. Right. You may run into a coworker who might be on something. Definitely don't ask them if they're on those drugs, of course.

[Aubrey Carter]

But people, at least in American culture. It's not something to point out.

[Lindsey McMahon]

No, no, yeah, just leave it. Exactly, exactly. And then even worse, you fil out. I don't know, essentially you. You mean you've gained weight is what you're saying. Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

And sometimes people will say this, meaning it as a compliment, if someone was really skinny or sickly looking and they look healthier. Now, there are several ways you could say that. That none of them should be said. Right. You're still com. You're still commenting on someone's body size or weight, which at least in American culture is unwelcome.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. I mean, it's a good alternative. There could be, you know, looks like you have. You've gained some muscle tone. Right. I mean, again, staying away from body size, shape, weight in general. But if you have to say something, I'd rather say, have someone say to me, like, it looks like you're lifting weights. Like, have you been lifting weights?

[Aubrey Carter]

And it's interesting to think about who you could say that to. I would absolutely say that to my sister, a very close friend. I would never say it to a co worker because I'm still commenting on their body, which is really unwelcome in u. S. Culture.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Exactly, exactly. And then that outfit makes you look. Look bigger or smaller. Oh, gosh. Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

It's interesting because I'll hear this sometimes because people are thinking I'm complimenting the outfit, really. But depending on how you say it, you could actually be commenting about their size, their body shape, or saying something like, you don't look like you work out, or clearly you don't like to exit. Like all of these. You would think you'd never hear them. But then, shockingly, sometimes we do.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. What do you think about flipping that into just like, I love your outfit. It. What do you think about that?

[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Because that's more about different clothing. Right. That's not so much about. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

And we will go into this a little bit, just at the very end, sort of share, like, what can you compliment? Because, yeah, sometimes we do want to pay someone a compliment, but it really shouldn't be about their physical appearance.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

At all.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Totally. And then saying something. Don't say, you don't look like you work out. Right. Let's say. Let's say I leave work and I'm going to the gym. I'm off to the gym. See you guys tomorrow. Oh, you don't look like you work out.

[Aubrey Carter]

Or even just to be surprised, really. You go to the gym often? What. What do I not look Like I go to the gym.

[Lindsey McMahon]

No, it's just unnecessary. There's so many other things we could say to connect then.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Age.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Now, this might also be pretty unique to American culture. I'm. We're only speaking for American culture here. But staying away from age. Age is such a problem. Oh, gosh. Tricky topic in our culture.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right. And both older and younger. Right. So if you think you're complimenting someone looking young, you say you don't look your age. Oh, I can't believe you're 40. You don't look it. Something is still uncomfortable making, as we say, it's still sort of awkward. Yeah. And then maybe someone sitting next to you is like, so what do you say? Are you saying I look 40? Yeah, exactly.

[Lindsey McMahon]

No, totally. Stay away from it. Don't say you're too young to look so tired. Here we're blending two traps, the age trap and the physical health status trap.

[Aubrey Carter]

Because often when we tell someone they look tired, what we're really telling them is they look old. Or at least that's how that's going to be interpreted.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, that's a good one. I love that. It's so true. And then the next bucket would be skin, face or natural features. Yes. Oh, my God.

[Aubrey Carter]

So imagine someone has maybe like a bruise or some. Who knows what's going on? And someone might say like, what happened to your face? Or where did that cut? Like, oh, yeah, I would just not mention it.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Totally.

[Aubrey Carter]

They offer.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh, it's so true. I know. This time last year I came down with a bad case of shingles and I had like spots on my face and it was really like, it messed up my eye for a week or two. And if someone. This is similar to, like, why is your face so red? What's going on? It's like it draws attention to you, it makes you feel worse and then it makes the person focus a lot on their own face. They just want to get out of that and focus on whether they're working with their co worker or trying to get it go through the day.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right, right, Exactly. Don't ever say, like, what's that on your face? Or what's that? Like, just don't mention it. We all see it, we don't need to mention it.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Totally. Or don't say you look pale. I mean, yeah, this is the same

[Aubrey Carter]

as like, you look flushed. Right?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. This is.

[Aubrey Carter]

Is very similar to. Is telling someone they look sick or sickly. If we could say they look pale. Better to just not say it.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Exactly. Or your wrinkles are I don't know who would say this. I don't think anyone would ever say

[Aubrey Carter]

this, but don't make comments about those wrinkles, exactly. Wrinkles, freckles, or saying your hair is thinning. Any kind of statement you could make about a change in appearance is just unwelcome, at least in the United States.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. And then avoiding complimenting too, just because that implies that you've been paying attention. And maybe their skin was worse the day before or the week before. Your skin looks great today. Seems like it's a well meaning comment. I mean, I would say that means

[Aubrey Carter]

it looked bad yesterday, right?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Like, yeah, exactly. You would say it to your sister, your partner maybe, but anything more than that, co workers, friends, there's just.

[Aubrey Carter]

Even my sister, I could see her being like, does it not normally.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, they could start a fight. These are traps, guys. Traps.

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Stay out of the trap.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

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[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah, we covered like pregnant. You look pregnant also, you look stressed or you must be exhausted. Exhausted. Or you look like you didn't sleep.

[Lindsey McMahon]

So this stress piece is interesting.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Because, you know, I feel like some people will say that to me sometimes when I'm not stressed and it's like, how can people really know what's going on internally? And sometimes I am stress and people don't necessarily notice. It's like, right what are they? Yeah. I don't know.

[Aubrey Carter]

And if you think I look stressed.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

How could you think it would help to point it out?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh, my gosh.

[Aubrey Carter]

It's gonna stress me out more.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, for sure. And then I'll think maybe I am actually stressed. And then I. And then it's good. It's a bad spiral. And then grooming, like, the way someone's chosen to groom themselves.

[Aubrey Carter]

What would be something, say, like, you look better with makeup or are you not wearing makeup today? Anything like that? Or suggesting haircuts. You would look cute with a bob. I'm like, you hate my hair now.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yes. Oh, my gosh. Or you should cut your hair.

[Aubrey Carter]

You should try blonde.

[Lindsey McMahon]

No, no. Or that hairstyle doesn't suit you. I mean, terrible. And I think it's. So these are traps. These are. This is a what not to say episode. And I also think I want to put special emphasis at the workplace. If you're a man talking to a woman.

[Aubrey Carter]

Definitely.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Definitely. Like, just throw these out the window. Don't even think.

[Aubrey Carter]

Unfortunately, these are sort of gendered sometimes, but especially I have had. And it can be a sexual harassment suit.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Sure.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right. If you say anything about someone's body, either gender, and make them feel uncomfortable, you could. Could wind up in hr, so just don't do it.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Don't do it. And again, even if it's totally acceptable in your home culture, that won't fly as an excuse. Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

And better to not compliment as well. A lot of these are clearly more like criticisms, but some things that seem like a compliment, like, your makeup looks so great today. Right. You're like, what about yesterday? Or things that can be very uncomfortable. If someone says, like, your legs look great in that skirt and you're trying to compliment them. No, that is sexual harassment. Avoid it at the workplace.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Do that. Oh, gosh. Yeah. So, all right, let's pivot into a role play. Aubry. So in this case, we're not in a workplace. We are friends meeting to catch a movie. So we're at the friendship level here, right?

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

So you're going to see here the things you can compliment, right?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

Not appearance. All right, I'll start us out. Hey, I love that jacket. Where did you get it?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Ooh, thanks. I found it at a small shop downtown. I wasn't sure at first, but now I'm glad I got it.

[Aubrey Carter]

It's great. I love the color, and it goes really well with your shoes.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, I was trying to keep it simple today.

[Aubrey Carter]

It works. I like the whole Outfit.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Honestly, I appreciate that. You know, I'm no fashionista. Nice.

[Aubrey Carter]

I love this.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yes.

[Aubrey Carter]

You can compliment someone's clothing as long as you're not implying something about their body. Right. Or their appearance.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, exactly. And it's. So when you. It's a fine line between I love that dress. That dress looks good on you, and like, you look good in that dress. Like, we have. There's shades of gray.

[Aubrey Carter]

True. That's a tricky point. Right. The way you phrase something is either complementing their actual body or complementing the clothing. Everything here was perfect. I love that dress. It is such, you know, what a great color. But if you say you look good in that dress.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

Then you're complimenting their body.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. Yeah. And with a friend going to the movies, you might get away with it. But again, don't make it a habit because then you take it into work and you could get into trouble or a. More like people. People you just don't know. Right. And at a networking event or something.

[Aubrey Carter]

Definitely.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Wow.

[Aubrey Carter]

So tricky.

[Lindsey McMahon]

This is a what not to do episode. Aubry. Yes. Really good. Is there another episode our listeners could go to if they love our style? Yes.

[Aubrey Carter]

If you missed 2579, scroll up and check it out. Don't undermine your English. So just like you don't want to undermine relationships.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yes. And. And don't under. Want to undermine anything here, but that one's coming out tomorrow. Today's 2578. So guys, don't.

[Aubrey Carter]

Buddy. This is a. Stay tuned. Be sure to listen to tomorrow's episode.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I think the call to action here is hit follow so you don't miss 25.79 tomorrow, guys. Really good.

[Aubrey Carter]

Love it.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Aubrey, any final takeaways?

[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah. This is so important for connection. Often we're teaching you the phrases to use to connect. Today we're sharing in u. S. Culture things you should not say to break the connection. Don't comment on someone's physical appearance. It's that they look tired or anything about their body. This can be very offensive in American culture, for sure.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. And take some time after this episode to reflect which of these are acceptable and are not in your own culture. Because we know that we're. Some people are translating directly from their own language. Even if we don't agree with that, we try to get away from it. We may be translating thoughts right from. So it's almost like we have to change our thoughts as well in some ways.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes. A lot of this may have been very surprising to you. If it's very accepted in your culture and you're surprised to hear that anyone would find it offensive or you might think they're just reading too much into it. That's not what I intend. In the United States, we often, we do. We read into it. We're assuming intention. That's probably not there.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

So you just have to avoid saying it.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Just play it safe. Play it safe for more success and more connection. There you go, Aubrey.

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly.

[Lindsey McMahon]

All right. Good stuff. Thanks for the episode today. We'll see you next time.

[Aubrey Carter]

All right, see you next time. All right, bye.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Thanks for listening. To all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward/fluencyscore. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.

[Aubrey Carter]

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