AEE 2579: Don't Undermine Your English: Listen Today!

Summary

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All Ears English Podcast – Episode 2579: "Don’t Undermine Your English: Listen Today!"

Hosts: Lindsay McMahon & Michelle Kaplan
Date: March 10, 2026
Episode Theme:
A deep-dive into the English word "undermine"—its meaning, usage in different social and professional contexts, and advice on how to spot and avoid undermining language. The episode highlights practical examples, role plays, and cultural considerations, all designed for ESL learners aiming for more natural and nuanced English.

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Main Theme/Purpose

This episode focuses on expanding listeners' vocabulary with the advanced verb "undermine." Lindsay and Michelle discuss its meanings, nuances (from innocent to villainous), and explore how "undermining" behavior affects relationships at work, home, and among friends. The conversation revolves around helping learners use this word accurately and understand its implications in real-life interactions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to "Undermine"

• The word is useful for intermediate to advanced English learners (B2/C1+).
• It means “to make something, especially somebody’s confidence or authority, gradually weaker or less effective.”
  (04:06 – Michelle)
• “It sounds manipulative in a way, doesn’t it?” — Lindsay (04:10)

Notable Quote

"Once we add this to your vocabulary today, guys, it’s going to elevate your English 100%."
— Lindsay (03:38)

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2. Real-life Examples (Childhood and Adult Contexts)

• Personal anecdote — Lindsay recalls a childhood friend who used to undermine her confidence by being a “naysayer,” telling her she could never achieve things she wanted.
  (02:06 – 02:54)
• Workplace context — Referencing their Business English podcast, they highlight how undermining often happens with authority figures, e.g., coworkers not respecting a boss.
  (04:10 – 04:34)

Notable Quote

“She was kind of undermining me a lot of times, but we were only seven, so this is kid stuff. But I still remember it.”
— Lindsay (02:54)

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3. The Nuance Spectrum: Subtle or Overt? Intentional or Not?

• Undermining can be blatant or subtle—often subtle among adults.
  (05:49 – 06:11)
• Intent is not always negative; sometimes people undermine others without realizing it, e.g., micromanaging colleagues.
  (06:22 – 07:27)
• Manipulation is the most negative (villainous) end of the spectrum.
  (06:22 – 06:52)

Notable Quote

“Most people are good people. They don’t want to hurt people, especially at work.”
— Lindsay (07:08)

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4. Other Contexts: Self-Undermining & Everyday Situations

• You can “undermine yourself” by expressing doubt or constantly apologizing.
  (07:32 – 07:57)
• Examples:
  • “Her husband was always undermining her in front of her friends.” (08:10)
  • “She undermined the teacher by proving her wrong in front of the whole class.” (08:22)

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5. Cultural Considerations

• Cultural norms influence what is considered undermining, especially in educational settings. In some cultures, students challenging teachers is acceptable; in others, it’s inappropriate.
  (08:50 – 09:23)
• “It’s really different depending on the institutional culture, the country culture, the language you’re speaking.”
  — Lindsay (09:14)

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6. Emotional Impact and Relationship Dynamics

• Being undermined feels bad, leading to loss of confidence (micromanagement, corrections in front of others).
  (09:47 – 11:19)
• In personal relationships, excessive correction or nitpicking can damage trust over time.
• Sometimes, letting small inaccuracies slide is better for harmony.
  (10:39 – 11:19)

Notable Quote

“No one wants that naysayer, or not even a naysayer, just… someone just nitpicking everything. Right?”
— Lindsay (11:19)

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7. Synonyms & Alternative Expressions

Phrases Similar to “Undermine”

• Make someone feel small:
  “Her constant criticism made him feel small.”
• Put someone down:
  “He didn’t mean to put his friend down, but he was just trying to be honest.”
• Hurt (someone’s confidence):
  “The third time he got a D on a test, it really hurt his confidence.”

Usage Note

• "Undermine" is more suitable for professional or formal contexts than "hurt."
  (14:16 – 15:01)

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8. Practical Role Play

(15:20 – 16:56)

• Scenario: Complaining about a mutual friend who often makes others feel small.
• Dialogue demonstrates natural use of: “undermine,” “put down,” “hurt,” and “make me feel small.”
• Deeper discussion: Awareness of how repeated minor comments can build up to a toxic dynamic.

Memorable Lines

“I don’t know… Sometimes she just makes me feel small.”
— Michelle (15:29)

“She always undermines me in front of other people, whether she means to or not.”
— Lindsay (15:42)

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9. Reflection: Self-awareness for Listeners

• If you notice yourself undermining others, reflect on your motives. Sometimes micromanagement or criticism reflects your own insecurities.
  (17:04 – 17:49)
• Self-examination can help improve interactions and prevent undermining.
  (17:49 – 18:12)

“If we seem to be undermining someone, is it coming from somewhere, something that needs to be addressed inside ourselves?”
— Lindsay (17:49)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Definition of “undermine”: 03:52 – 04:10
• Childhood story example: 02:06 – 02:54
• Business context and subtlety discussion: 04:34 – 07:27
• Self-undermining & phrase alternatives: 07:32 – 08:44, 13:25 – 15:01
• Cultural differences: 08:50 – 09:23
• Personal relationships & emotional impact: 09:47 – 11:19
• Role play and deeper dive: 15:20 – 16:56
• Self-reflection for listeners: 17:49 – 18:12

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Tone and Language

The episode is conversational, encouraging, and practical—Lindsay and Michelle employ humor (“Disney villain”), empathy, and relatable situations, all while providing advanced vocabulary and cultural context. They emphasize the philosophy of “Connection, not Perfection,” promoting confidence and self-reflection in language learners.

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Key Takeaways for English Learners

• “Undermine” is a nuanced, higher-level verb with significant value in professional, academic, and personal situations.
• Not all undermining is intentional; awareness and self-reflection are vital to catch and avoid it.
• Cultural context matters—a behavior that undermines authority in one setting might be normal or even encouraged in another.
• Substitute phrases like “make someone feel small” and “put down” can help articulate similar ideas, especially in informal contexts.
• Examine your own motives: Sometimes undermining others stems from unaddressed personal insecurities.

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Closing Memorable Moment

“Glad we spoke about this today, Lindsay. And yeah, hope hopefully no one makes you feel small today.”
— Michelle (18:12)

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For further practice:
Check out Business English episode 530 for related content: “How Not to Step on Toes at Work.”

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Next Steps:
Reflect on your communication style and notice moments where you or others might be undermining confidence—intentionally or not. Consider cultural expectations in your environment and prioritize connection (not perfection) in your English journey!

Transcript

[A]

This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2579. Don't undermine your English. Listen today. Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward slapp.

[B]

Have you ever heard native speakers use the word undermine? Today, let's level up our vocabulary and find out how to use this word in the most harmless context and the most villainous.

[A]

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[B]

Hey Lindsay, how are you doing?

[A]

Good, Michelle, how are you? How's everything?

[B]

I'm doing well, thanks. Lindsay, have you. This is a kind of a personal question. Have you ever known someone who constantly made you feel small?

[A]

Wow, that's a deep question, Michelle.

[B]

I know, I know.

[A]

No, I guess I had a friend when I was really young who would brag a lot and that annoyed me. But I'm talking like I was seven years old, right. And she was like a bragger. What is bragging, Michelle, by the way?

[B]

Oh, I'm the best at this. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then she would like, I would say something I want to do because I was just like a seven year old. I was like, I want to go to the movies tonight or I want to do something. Like I wanted to go skiing or something. You'll never be able to do that. Like she would do that. So that was actually because she was a naysayer. That's what the word, a naysayer. So that really triggered me a lot because I don't like it when someone tells you you can't do.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And so that was kind of. She was kind of undermining me a lot of times, but she was. We were only seven, so this is kid stuff.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I still Remember it.

[B]

So yeah, yeah, you still remember it. Well. So yeah, we are going to talk about this word undermine. And this is a really useful word for that type of situation that Lindsay is talking about. And this came up because we spoke about it in a recent episode on Business English over on our other podcast. Guys, if you haven't listened to the business English podcast, you can got to get on over there. We, we, you know, business is real life, you know, and people work in the business world. It's not robots. We have to learn how to talk and build these relationship. Well, oh yeah, that's true. I can't believe I just said that. So, guys, but this was on episode 5 30, which was how not to step on toes at work, that we

[A]

use this and this, you know, this word. You know, once we add this to your vocabulary today, guys, it's going to elevate your English 100%. It's a really good one to know at the B2C1C level. So let's get into it. Michelle.

[B]

Yeah, okay. Yes. So according to the dictionary, we would define undermine as to make something, especially somebody's confidence or authority gradually weaker or less effective.

[A]

Wow. It sounds manipulative in a way, doesn't it?

[B]

Yeah, it's not. Not great. So on that Business English episode, we were talking about undermining someone's authority, which is very common to say that undermining someone' authority, it's like, you know, someone's your boss, someone, you know, you're a teacher, whatever it is, and you're just kind of not doing what they say or making them look bad in some way.

[A]

Yes, exactly. Exactly. So we're going to get deeper into this in just a minute. But I do want to take an important minute to call out our amazing listeners who took the time, Michelle, to go and leave us a review. These reviews came from Apple Podcasts. So guys, we love it when we see your ratings and your reviews of the show because it tells us if we're, are we on track with the show? Right. What do you want to hear? You can ask your question inside your review. So this review comes from Smile from China on January 5th. Five star review. Amazing.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And. And from Hungary, English was speaking you from January 4th in Apple podcast. This person says your podcast is always full of energy and tips. You provide such valuable resources for learners and teachers. This is a good show for teachers as well. Gu guys. So if you're teaching, bring it into your classroom. Let your listeners know which episode you're going to talk about. Next week. Right. Tell them to study the episode. It's a great content piece. So the point is, guys, if you love our show, go and leave us a review wherever you listen, and be sure to hit follow right here on the show. All right?

[B]

Absolutely. Thank you guys so much. Yes. So when you undermine someone, it. It doesn't. Does it have to be super obvious that someone is being undermined?

[A]

No, that's the cool thing about this. Not. Not the concep. The word. It. It. It's flexible. This could be very subtle, and it often is in the adult world. In the. In the kids world. Like, the story I opened up with is very obvious. Right. Kids are very obvious, but adults are much more subtle at times. But we can. We can recognize it and label it as undermining, right?

[B]

Yes. Right. And I mean, can. Is it always intentional? Does. If someone undermines someone else, is it always that they are, you know, manipulative?

[A]

Manip. No. Right. Manipulative is the worst version of it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because it's calculated. It's. You're trying to do it, you're scheming. But sometimes we're just undermining someone and not realizing we are. Right. Like, maybe if we're a manager, we are always checking our employees work, and we're undermining their confidence because we're not letting them have the independence. We're making them feel like we don't believe in them. Right. But we're just. It's just our own control issues, maybe. Right?

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Very interesting. So undermining. It can be calculated. It can be like, I'm undermining you, but it can also just Disney villain or something.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

It can also just be totally innocent. You don't realize it, and maybe it needs to be brought to your attention. And.

[A]

And I say probably. Yeah, yeah. I'd say most of the time, probably. Michelle, It's. It's that. That people don't realize they're doing it. Most people are good people. They don't want to hurt people, especially at work. Or it's. Yeah. So probably like 75% of the time it's unintentional, but it's good to call it out and approach the topic with someone. Right? Yeah.

[B]

So let's give some more examples. Could be in other contexts. Lindsay, what's an example?

[A]

Well, we can undermine ourselves, too. Right. So I tend to undermine myself when I don't feel confident. I say things like, I'm sorry and I don't know. Yeah. And there are entire phrases we've Done episodes on, you know, phrases to avoid in this area that will cut. Cut us down. Like, will degrade kind of our, like, our authority or people's confidence in what we're saying or what we're doing.

[B]

Right, exactly. So, yeah, you can undermine yourself, for sure. Or here's another example. Or her husband was always undermining her in front of her friends. He would say everything she was doing wrong.

[A]

That's horrible. Geez. Okay. Hopefully no one's doing that. The way my friend spoke to me really undermined my confidence. I don't know that I want to continue to be friends with her.

[B]

Yeah. Or she undermined the teacher by proving her wrong in front of the whole class. Now, this could just be an innocent. Oh, actually, you know, the. You said this, but actually the calculation is this. Right. And the teacher might feel a little bit funny, but it wasn't, it wasn't with ill intent. But they might feel that they were undermined.

[A]

Yeah. As we have the signature phrase might feel funny. Right. Feel funny is your signature phrase.

[B]

Feel funny. That's my signature. Yep.

[A]

And I want to say that's really cultural. So some cultures allow this sort of undermining of authority, especially so in an academic context. In some cultures, it's probably more okay than other cultures. Like, certain institutions would probably encourage a dialogue back and forth between students and teachers. The teachers would challenge the. Sorry, the students would challenge the teachers. But that really depends on the institutional culture, the country culture, the language you're speaking. Right. It's really different. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It's really interesting. Yeah. The cultural aspect on this. And then here I thought of this one. Focusing on perfection, not connection, can undermine how you learn a language.

[A]

Good one. Right.

[B]

So we flip that one.

[A]

Connection, not perfection. Of course, as our listeners know. Yeah. Michelle, for you, how does it feel to be undermined?

[B]

Well, I mean, it, it doesn't feel great. If it feels like, you know, if it's something that, like, yeah. If I were being let, like, let's say I were the. An example. If I were being, like, totally micromanaged or something like that, like that, that wouldn't feel good. If I feel like it's because somebody doesn't have confidence in me, that's not gonna feel good. Or if I feel like I've even. I read somewhere that said, do you have it with your partner? Like, if, if your partner is telling a story and you know that part of the story is wrong because you correct in front of people?

[A]

I, I, it depends on who we're around. Depend like, if we're around, like family and it's really not going to make a difference in how they see my partner, I might. But if it's different friends that maybe don't know us as well, I might avoid that. Might let my partner just tell the story. Right, right, right, right. Yeah.

[B]

Cuz. Yeah. I remember I read somewhere that said that, like, with your partner, like, you shouldn't correct them. Like when they're like. And it's hard because sometimes, okay, if Dan's telling a story and he said, oh, we were there back in 2015 or something, and I know it was 2017, it's like it said, like, don't.

[A]

Who cares?

[B]

Like, it doesn't. No one. No one cares about the, the difference. And. But sometimes it's hard to. You just want to be like, oh, no, actually. But you know, I try sometimes if there's something like that to just say, okay, this isn't important. This has nothing to do with the story. It's a minor detail and I don't need to correct. So, yeah, like those. Because those types of things can build up if you're constantly.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's actually this. It's actually that. No one wants that name, that naysayer, or not even a naysayer, just a. Yeah, it's someone just nitpicking everything. Right. We don't want that. And this can really come alive in different spheres. You're talking about at home, with your relationship, with your family. We're talking about in the academic context, maybe a college class at work. Right. So this undermine. This word can be used in so many different contexts, Michelle.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[A]

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[B]

Yeah, so I mean, there are other ways to use undermine, but we are, we wanted to actually focus on this main one today. We can always do a follow up, but let's talk about how else you can express this idea. Lindsay, what's something you could say?

[A]

So make someone feel small? This is what you asked me at the beginning of the show, I think, right. Make someone feel small. Her constant criticism made him feel small. And this is really bad. Right, Right. When it gets to a very pathological side of this concept or put someone down, he didn't mean to put his friend down, but he was just trying to be honest. And sometimes some certain personalities might just like have a compulsive need to tell the truth and there's less of a looking at nuances of feelings and people just tell the truth. So they just have to do that. So they end up undermining people, especially if the people don't understand them very well. Right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And then there's just the word hurt, which could be useful as well. So the third time he got a D on a test, it really hurt his confidence. So he, you could say it undermined his confidence.

[A]

Yeah, well, I would, I would say in the workspace the word hurt becomes a little more emotional. Right. So undermine is probably better. Like you say, like my manager hurt me versus my manager undermined me. It's probably better to go with undermine in the workplace. Would you agree, Michelle? Know, it's just hurt is a little, for me is a little squishy. I don't know. Do you disagree? What do you think?

[B]

No, no, I don't. I, I think especially if you're saying like, oh, it hurt me. I think that's like a little much. But if you're saying, oh, it hurt, like, I don't think that you. I mean, we could do a whole episode on the word hurt. We've never done that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah,

[B]

yeah. There's a lot, there's a lot that you could say because sometimes it might be the best word to use.

[A]

But yeah, basically what you're saying here. So if you're saying my manager hurt my confidence, that's probably. Okay, right? Because you're not saying, like, hurt my heart or hurt me as a person. Right? Yeah.

[B]

Right. Okay, so interesting. But we can talk about this more. Another. Another date. So let's do a role play.

[A]

All right, here we go. So here in this context, you are complaining to me about our mutual friend. Okay. Now let's see about this mutual friend.

[B]

All right. I don't know. Sometimes she just makes me feel small.

[A]

She does have a way of talking down to people. She's definitely put me down before.

[B]

Maybe we should talk to her. She should know that she's hurt us both.

[A]

Yeah. And she always undermines me in front of other people, whether she means to or not. Oh, that's not good. That's not. Yeah.

[B]

Then we gotta figure this out.

[A]

Yeah. That's not something I would. Someone I would want to be friends with.

[B]

Right?

[A]

No, no, no. Sure not. So we started by. You said, I don't know. I. Sometimes she just makes me feel small. Yeah.

[B]

And that's what. That's, to me is like. I don't use this one that much. It's like a. Like, very, like, dramatic to me.

[A]

Yeah, it is it.

[B]

You. You will hear it.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. It's very much on the villainous side of undermine. It's really on the, like, really extreme end if someone is calculating and going to these lengths to make someone feel small. Yeah. We said before that undermine can be very subtle. It can be unintentional. Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's the other side. This is the. This is the opposite side of it. Really bad.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. And then I said, no, you said, she's definitely put me down before, so.

[A]

Meaning insulted me.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Insulted me. Yeah. So she should know that she has hurt us both. So here we are actually talking about the heart. Right. Hurt you emotionally. Right. Because we're not here at work. Right. It's just friends.

[B]

And then you said. Yeah, and she always undermines me in front of me people, whether she means to or not. So we gotta do something about this.

[A]

Really interesting. And so a provocative question here when it comes to the workspace. We're not publishing this on business English. This is on Allers English. But it's interesting to think about. If you are in a management position, are there any things that you, like, if you are undermining someone? Like you're. If you're micromanaging someone, is it a skill you still need to work on for yourself, like details? If you're micromanaging someone else on their attention to details, is it something you're stressed about your ability to do. Is it a little bit of projection happening?

[B]

Right. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Interesting.

[A]

That can happen.

[B]

And remember, you can check out that episode. It was 5:30 on business. English was how not to step at on toes at work. All right, what should we leave our listeners with today, Lindsay?

[A]

Well, I think that's kind of it like examining our own way of like what's going on in our own hearts. If we're like if we seem to be undermining someone, is it coming from somewhere, something that needs to be addressed inside ourselves? That's the interesting thing, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If we address that, would, would that go away? Would that like undermining someone go away? So that's kind of like an internal thought today, I think.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Well, yeah, glad we spoke about this today, Lindsay. And yeah, hope hopefully no one makes you feel small today.

[A]

Same for you. Yeah. I want you to not encounter that at all today. We hope for the best. Yes.

[B]

Hoping for the best. All right guys, have a great day. We'll see you on the next one.

[A]

All right, bye. Take care. Bye.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

Thanks for listening to all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com fluency score and if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time. This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company. No matter how you do game day, on the couch, in the crowd or manning the snack table, Athletic Brewing fits right in with a full lineup of non alcoholic beer styles you can enjoy. Bold flavors all game long. No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out for water in the second half. Stock the fridge for tip off with a variety of non alcoholic craft styles. Available at your local grocery store or [e-mail] your beer fit for all times.

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