AEE 2594: We Bet You Can’t Resist This Episode!

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: All Ears English
Episode: AEE 2594: We Bet You Can’t Resist This Episode!
Date: April 6, 2026
Hosts: Lindsay McMahon & Aubrey Carter
Theme:
This episode explores the nuances of common English phrases used to express irresistible desires and habits, like “can’t help but,” “can’t help it,” and “can’t resist.” The hosts guide listeners on when, how, and why to use these expressions, emphasizing their role in building connection and relatability in conversation. They also dig into subtle differences in grammar and meaning, offer listener Q&A, conduct detailed role plays, and weave in practical cultural tips about showing vulnerability for better social bonding.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to “Can’t Help But” and Related Phrases

• The episode begins with the hosts discussing things they “can’t help but love” — for Aubrey, it’s her children; for Lindsay, chocolate and peanut butter, especially in s’mores.
  • “I can’t help but love my children. No matter how naughty they are or annoying, I can’t help but love them.” — Aubrey (01:33)
  • “I can’t help but love the combination of chocolate and peanut butter. I mean, it’s just killer.” — Lindsay (01:43)

2. Listener Question: Is ‘Can’t Help But Love’ Still Used?

• Listener Gianluca asks if the phrase “I can’t help but love you” is outdated.
  • Hosts confirm it’s still common and highlight its slightly formal, polished feel, while noting it’s equally at home in everyday conversation (03:04, 06:41).
  • “We still use it. It is a construction that feels slightly more formal or polished. But we also hear it in daily conversations as well.” — Aubrey (06:41)

3. Grammar Deep Dive: Differences Across Phrases

• "Can’t help it"

  • Used for things you can’t avoid doing.
  • Possible structures:
    • “I can’t help it if I’m excited.” (04:38)
    • “I can’t help that I’m excited.”
    • “I can’t help it. I always speak my mind.” (Role play: 05:12)
  • Can stand alone or precede a new sentence.

• "Can’t help but"

  • Always followed by a bare verb.
    • “I can’t help but laugh whenever that happens.” — Lindsay (06:17)
    • “I can’t help but compare my work to hers.” — Aubrey (06:22)
    • “I can’t help but feel nervous about this interview.” — Lindsay (06:32)
  • Used to express inability to resist an internal urge, often on the spectrum from profound (love for family) to superficial (craving sweets).

• "Can’t resist"

  • Takes either a gerund (verb+ing) or a noun.
    • “I can’t resist laughing at his jokes.” — Lindsay (07:38)
    • “I can’t resist chocolate cake.” — Aubrey (07:44)
  • Highlighted as more flexible grammatically.

4. Connection, Relatability, and Vulnerability in American Culture

• Sharing small weaknesses or pleasures, like a love of pastries, helps foster connection.
  • “When you show your vulnerabilities, your imperfections...we talk about connection, not perfection. People like your little imperfections. Right? We like that because we can connect.”— Lindsay (11:56)
• Cultural note: Even if you disagree or don’t share someone’s craving, it’s best not to judge or respond negatively in American culture; play along to maintain connection.
  • “Even if you do disagree, at least in American culture, it would be best to just be like, I know. Right? Me too.” — Aubrey (13:53)

5. Role Play: At the Bakery Counter (10:10–13:37)

• The hosts enact a realistic scenario using all three expressions.
  • Aubrey: “I can’t help it. I always go straight for the chocolate croissants. They’re my weakness.” (11:15)
  • Lindsay: “I can’t resist those either. I told myself I’d get just one, but look at that tray of eclair.” (11:20)
  • Aubrey: “I can’t help but grab two. One for now and one for later.” (11:26)
• The conversation models natural use, active listening, and culturally appropriate responses.

6. Common Mistakes and Tips

• Grammar accuracy is key; mixing up what follows each phrase is a common error.
  • “That’s a very common mistake. To take something like this that is very interchangeable vocabulary and assume the grammar works the same, and then you may have a mistake with what comes after...” — Aubrey (07:26)
• Hosts recommend repeated listening and making notecards to reinforce usage (08:12–08:21).

7. Teasing Future and Related Content

• Listeners are encouraged to check out episode 2557 for related content and to follow for an upcoming episode focused on expressions for negative or unwelcome temptations (14:36, 14:53).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I can’t help but love my children. No matter how naughty they are or annoying, I can’t help but love them.” — Aubrey (01:33)
• “I can’t help but love the combination of chocolate and peanut butter. I mean, it’s just killer.” — Lindsay (01:43)
• “That’s a very common mistake…you may have a mistake with what comes after if it’s just a verb instead of a noun.” — Aubrey (07:26)
• “People like your little imperfections. Right? We like that because we can connect. We can relate to you as a human being. You have a weakness for sugar. Oh, me too. Right? Exactly.” — Lindsay (11:56)
• “Even if you do disagree, at least in American culture, it would be best to just be like, I know. Right? Me too.” — Aubrey (13:53)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Content | |---------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:29 | Lindsay and Aubrey share things they can’t help but love | | 03:04 | Listener Gianluca’s question on “can’t help but love you” | | 04:17–05:19 | Deep dive: “can’t help it” – grammar and examples, mini role play | | 06:06–07:26 | Grammar difference: “can’t help but” and “can’t resist”; structures and sample sentences | | 08:12 | Study tip: listen multiple times, use note cards to master grammar patterns | | 10:10–11:56 | Bakery role play; modeling usage and building connection; tips on responding positively in conversation | | 13:53 | Cultural tip: agree or “play along” with little indulgences to build rapport | | 14:36–14:53 | Teaser for next episode: phrases for negative/unwelcome obligations and temptations |

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Summary

The episode thoughtfully unpacks how to express irresistible inclinations in English with clarity and authenticity, focusing on three major phrases—“can’t help but,” “can’t help it,” and “can’t resist.” Lindsay and Aubrey’s lively, vulnerable chat combined with practical role-play makes this an essential listen for learners aiming to be more natural, grammatically precise, and relatable in American English conversation. The discussion goes beyond words: it’s about how small shared weaknesses can spark meaningful connections, and why “connection, not perfection” should be every learner’s goal.

Transcript

[A]

This is an allers English podcast, episode 2594. We bet you can't resist this episode.

[B]

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz and Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, usa. And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com subscribe. What are the things you can't help but love? Today we share how to answer this. From the superficial to the profound. Listen in to learn how to be relatable in English for more connection. Working across teams is tough, but asana helps you handle it. Asana AI can spot roadblocks and assign work to keep everything on track. That's how work gets handled. Visit [e-mail] hey there, Aubry. How's it going today?

[A]

I'm great, Lindsay. How are you?

[B]

Good. Aubry, I have a question for you.

[A]

All right, let's hear it.

[B]

So for you, what is something you that you can't help but love?

[A]

Oh, my children. I can't help but love my children. No matter how naughty they are or annoying, I can't help but love them.

[B]

Beautiful. Beautiful. That makes perfect sense for a mother. For me, I can't help but love the combination of chocolate and peanut butter. I mean, it's just killer.

[A]

It is also a good answer. I do love especially on a s'. More. I know we talked about this once. I love peanut butter in your s peanut butter cups on a s' more instead of Hershey's chocolate.

[B]

Remember when you shared that once on the podcast?

[A]

Try it sometime.

[B]

Yep. Yep.

[A]

Scrumptious.

[B]

We did an episode, we did a lesson about s' mores in the connected communicator course. And many of our students have been in that course. They've taken the 12,000 mile trip with me and Jessica around the US and you learned all about s'. Mores. And so check out that course course,

[A]

guys, adorable video of Lindsay making s'. Mores. Yes. If you haven't been in that course, you are missing out.

[B]

Yes. So fun. It'[e-mail] connection.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're answering a question here today. This is really interesting. Do you want to read the question for us, Lindsay?

[B]

All right. Yeah. And this is from our wonderful listener, Gianluca Maria Lechi on YouTube. And guys, don't forget, we are over on YouTube. So find the video. Type in Ahlers English hit subscribe. Here's the question. Thanks a lot, Lindsay, Michelle and Aubry. It may be outdated. I studied it at school more than 50 years ago. I was told I was taught I can't help but love you. Is it correct? Yes.

[A]

I love this. And it's interesting because we recently taught the phrase can't help it. Can't help it, which has a similar meaning but the grammar is different. So stay to the end for details if you missed that one. But we're also going to share how the grammar works for that can't help it and for this one can't help but and some related phrases.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cuz yes, we do still use this.

[B]

Yeah. So if you did hear the other episode in the last few weeks about can't help. This is a new episode, guys. Totally different episode. So brand new content here. So let's get into it today. Aubrey.

[A]

Awesome. And be sure to hit follow. If this doesn't sound familiar and you missed the episode about can't help it. You are likely missing a lot of episodes. So be sure to hit follow.

[B]

Yeah. And leave us a review. Right. So tell us what you think of the show. We try our best to announce reviewer names from the app, from Apple, from Spotify. Tell us what you think about the show and we'll shout out your name. All right.

[A]

Absolutely. Yes. All right, so let's get into this. Both of these can't help it and can't help but are ways of saying you feel unable to avoid or stop doing something. And it's usually something pretty positive. Right. I can't help but love you. I can't help but love my children.

[B]

Yeah, totally. Totally. Something positive. Something that's great. It could be deep, like your example, or it could be a little superficial like mine. And that just. That's okay. There's a whole spectrum here that we can go for.

[A]

Right. So let's just briefly share the grammar of the phrase we already taught. Can't help it. It's often followed by the thing you can't avoid.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And it can be followed by if or that or a new sentence. So we'll share just briefly each of those. You could say, I can't help it if I'm excited. I can't help it if I'm excited. Yeah.

[B]

And that's funny because in this moment you would say this if you actually are excited. So it's kind of weird that you're saying if right in my mind, because

[A]

what you mean Is, I am excited. I can't help it if I'm excited that I'm excited.

[B]

Right. But there are different ways we could word that we could say, I can't help that I'm excited. Right?

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Or I can't help it that I'm shy. Right.

[A]

Or just, I can't help it. And then new sentence. I always speak my mind. Or reverse this. I always speak my mind. I can't help it.

[B]

Yes. Okay, and then what? Aubry, we have a role play.

[A]

It may also be followed by nothing at all. So let's do a quick mini role play here. Lindsay, start us out.

[B]

All right. Why are you laughing so hard?

[A]

I can't help it. That joke was so funny. Right? So it could just be. I can't help it. Just to say, like, I don't know. I can't resist. Right? Yeah.

[B]

That's when you go to comedy shows and it's just like, you're just dying. You're in stitches the whole time.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I went to a company show on Friday night, actually. There was a comic from New York that came in, and it was just. It was cool. Great comedy.

[A]

Oh, that's awesome.

[B]

Really?

[A]

The openers too? Or was it just.

[B]

The openers were really good, too. I feel like you can tell a lot about how the headliner is going to be based on the openers that they choose, and they were quality.

[A]

That's awesome. Oh, I love a good comedy show. That's awesome.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, okay, this is interesting because that one, you know, we had taught. But the grammar is different when we use this. Can't help but it is followed by a verb. So let's give some examples. Lindsay.

[B]

Okay. I can't help but laugh whenever that happens. Right.

[A]

Or I can't help but compare my work to hers. It means I can't stop myself from doing this. But we always follow it with a verb. Right.

[B]

Again, a doing word.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I can't help but feel nervous about this interview. So it's kind of when you're being a little bit vulnerable and you're just saying, here's my flaw. Right?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And this is interesting because, yeah, this expression's been around forever. Like, our listener in YouTube's learned it 50 years ago. We still use it. It is a construction that feels slightly more formal or polished. But we also hear it in daily conversations as well. For sure.

[B]

And then can't resist. So similar. Right.

[A]

And this one is followed by either verb ing or a noun. So it's interesting how these all mean the same thing, but in a sentence, depending on which one you use, the grammar is different. What follows it is different.

[B]

I think that's the key piece here. We can know the vocabulary, but we absolutely need to know how that vocabulary word gets inserted into the sentence, what comes before it, what comes after it. Right?

[A]

Exactly. And that's a very common mistake. To take something like this that is very interchangeable vocabulary and assume the grammar works the same, and then you may have a mistake with what comes after if it's just a verb instead of a noun.

[B]

It's so true. So some examples with resist, I can't resist laughing at his jokes.

[A]

Or I can't resist chocolate cake. Right. So for the verb ing laughing, I can't resist laughing. We have verb ing being used as a noun or an actual noun. I can't resist chocolate cake.

[B]

Yeah, interesting. So resist is more. A little bit more diverse in terms of how you're going to use it. Okay.

[A]

Right. And then the grammar is key. You wouldn't want to say I can't resist laugh at his jokes. Right. It couldn't be a bare verb. It was really important that you have the right thing. Follow it.

[B]

That's why this might seem like a straightforward episode, guys. But when it comes to putting these into place, you may need to listen two or three times and maybe make some note cards, right?

[A]

Yes, that'd be a great idea.

[B]

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[A]

You and I are friends at a bakery counter. I could imagine us at a bakery counter.

[B]

Love bakeries.

[A]

I actually just went. There used to be a bakery counter not far from my home and I went in to just like buy a scone and they had replaced the bakery counter with like a breakfast bar. And you can only be seated and have a server come now. So I was really bummed that they removed that bakery counter.

[B]

Oh, okay. Probably trying to maximize customer per revenue, Right?

[A]

Because if you sit down. Sure. But I was really bummed. I did not be. You know, I was like, I am just going to turn and walk myself out without my scope.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

I didn't have time.

[B]

That's a bummer. By the way, I just noted something which would make a great episode idea. I think I just said probably trying to maximize customer per revenue. Was there a problem there?

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

Makes no sense.

[A]

I swap some customer per rev.

[B]

Oh, revenue per customer.

[A]

Notice that's funny.

[B]

You didn't notice, but sometimes we do this in English. We just literally we swap word order. I hear native speakers do this all the time.

[A]

We do that a lot. And I feel like the brain of the person listening to you just swaps it back. Makes it make sense rather than calling it out. Right.

[B]

Y. I still think there could be a great episode about that. Aubrey, what do you think?

[A]

Yeah, I agree. That would be fun. We'll have to start both observing the different phrases we hear this with. That would be fun.

[B]

Yeah, really good. So, guys, hit the follow button for that episode in the near future. Okay, let's get into it.

[A]

We're at the B. I'll start us out. Wow. Everything here looks amazing. I don't even know where to start.

[B]

Same. I can't help it. I always go straight for the chocolate croissants. They're my weakness.

[A]

H. I can't resist those either. I told myself I'd yet just one, but look at that tray of eclair.

[B]

Oh, I know. I can't help but grab two. One for now and one for later.

[A]

That sounds like the best idea.

[B]

Honestly. Like, how do you even choose Eclair's brownies? Cupcakes. They're all good.

[A]

I'll take one of everything, please. And this is great for these phrases because, like, it's usually something positive, right? I can't resist a brownie. I can't help it. I want all the treats. These can be used for negative things as well, but most often it's with something you can't resist, but that's actually pretty positive.

[B]

Our temptations, our little temptations, our weaknesses, our vulnerabilities. These are my life fun. And you show your vulnerabilities, your imperfections. And that's why we talk about connection, not perfection. People like your little imperfections. Right? We like that because we can connect. We can relate to you as a human being. You have a weakness for sugar. Oh, me too. Right? Exactly.

[A]

Imagine if I'm talking about all the treats I'm gonna buy, and you're like, shouldn't you just have a salad aubry for lunch?

[B]

I would never go to the big with you again.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Boring. Even if you think that, you shouldn't say that.

[A]

No, exactly, I agree. Just buy a croissant and take it home and give it to someone else. If you think you should only be eating salad, just play along.

[B]

Play along for sure.

[A]

Right?

[B]

All right. So again, just to go through this one more time, so you said, I don't even know where to start. And I said, same. I can't help it.

[A]

Right, you said, I can't help it. I always go straight for the chocolate croissants. Right. So this is interesting how it can be swapped. You could definitely say that first. Oh, I always go straight for the chocolate croissants. I can't help it. Or you can say it before what you can't help doing.

[B]

Yes, very interesting. And then you said, ha, I can't resist those either. So you're relating. This is connection right here. Right? It doesn't have to be more complicated than this, guys, in English.

[A]

Right. And take note here. You know, we were talking about the grammar. Of course, you can always replace a noun with a pronoun like this. I can't resist those. Right. That is a standin for that noun.

[B]

And honestly, it would be weird if you said nothing. It would be like the salad vibe. It'd be like, you know, if. If I said, I. I always go straight for the chocolate croissants. They're my weakness. And then I just didn't respond.

[A]

Just stand there judging you. That's true. That's a really good point. That's such a connection skill that even if it's a tiny vulnerability like this, if you say nothing or disagree or whatever it might be, you could break the connection. Right. So even if you do disagree, at least in American culture, it would be best to just be like, I know. Right? Me too.

[B]

Yes. And we know for a fact that these, you know, these baked goods are not so much the homemade ones, but the store bought ones are like engineered to trigger addiction in our brain. So we know you love that stuff too.

[A]

Don't deny it. Yeah, don't deny it. And then I said, I can't resist those either. Oh, yeah, we covered that one. Then you said, I can't help but grab two. So notice that's followed by the verb I can't help but grab or buy two of these.

[B]

Yeah, I love it. Today's episode has been all about relatability, connection, vulnerabilities. This is the good stuff, right? These are the good moments of life that build friendships. Okay?

[A]

Yes, absolutely. But interestingly, you know, this vocab is more for things that you can't resist that are positive. But there are quite a few phrases we use for things that are hard to resist, that are a little more negative or obligations that are unwelcome. So follow for part two. We're going to do a follow up with those phrases.

[B]

Yeah, guys, go over to 2557. Right. Can't help it. How imperfection leads to connection. And we did touch on imperfection, this concept. This is just the continuation because there are a lot of ways to say this, guys. And again, the grammar matters. Okay?

[A]

For each of these, the grammar is very different. So note what follows. And as you're shadowing, pay attention to what when these phrases are used, what comes next? It does matter. Yes.

[B]

Good stuff, Aubrey. We'll see you next time. Let's go get a chocolatey Claire, shall we?

[A]

Yes, I'm in.

[B]

All right, see. See you next time.

[A]

All right, bye.

[B]

Thanks for listening to Allears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com fluencyscore and if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.

[A]

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