AEE 2595: Do You Find Yourself Loving English?

Summary

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All Ears English Podcast – Episode 2595

Do You Find Yourself Loving English?

Hosts: Lindsay McMahon & Aubrey Carter
Date: April 7, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Lindsay and Aubrey dive into nuanced vocabulary for expressing obligations, habits, and inner motivation in English. Building on the previous episode (“Can’t help but / Can’t resist”), they focus on phrases used for expressing things you have to do, especially those you feel are unavoidable, compulsory, or done out of habit. Through everyday examples, lively banter, and practical scenarios, they explore why embracing these expressions—have no choice but to, feel compelled to, find myself doing—can help English learners sound more precise and natural.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: What Do You Have No Choice But To Do?

[02:14–03:09]

• The hosts start by sharing personal experiences with obligations.
  • Aubrey: Talks about helping her 11-year-old kids get ready every morning, realizing they could be more independent.
    • “I have no choice but to help my kids get ready every morning… I had a talk with them… It's time to get a little more independent here, kids.” (Aubrey, 02:21–02:41)
  • Lindsay: Mentions having no choice but to take her dog out.
    • “I have no choice but to take my dog out to go to the bathroom three times a day… Just to go out to pee. It's kind of annoying.” (Lindsay, 03:44–03:53)

2. Overview of Phrasal and Formulaic Expressions

[04:50–09:38]

a. “Have no choice but to…”

• Used for strong obligations or inevitabilities (often more formal).
  • Example: “I had no choice but to apologize.” (05:08–05:15)
  • “It emphasizes inevitability or the necessity of something.” (Aubrey, 04:53–05:08)
• Nuanced use: can imply external compulsion (mandated to apologize) or deep personal/moral obligation.

b. “Feel compelled to / feel obliged to…”

• Slightly more formal; focus on inner motivations, moral impulses.
  • Example: “I felt compelled to speak up.” (06:34–06:47)
  • “If you say you feel compelled to apologize… this means inner motivation. No one else is requiring it of you.” (Aubrey, 06:10–06:34)
• Related idioms: felt pulled to/felt pushed to do something (inner drive).

c. “Find yourself doing (something)”

• Describes involuntary or subconscious habits.
  • Example: “I find myself checking my phone too often.” (08:05–08:20)
  • “You're doing it by default. I think we’re all in this place where we just go to our phones by default when there’s a blank space of time.” (Lindsay, 08:20–08:28)
• Other everyday uses: rereading a paragraph, accidentally driving to an old address, standing by the fridge without purpose.

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Role Play: Everyday Conversation Using Today's Vocabulary

[11:00–12:46]

Lindsay and Aubrey perform a role play to demonstrate the phrases in action:

• Lindsay: "I found myself by the dessert table at the party last night… and I happened to see you and Sarah talking. How did it go?" (11:08–11:16)
• Aubrey: "Oh, yeah. I had no choice but to bring up what she said to me last week. It was time to clear the air." (11:16–11:23)
• Lindsay: "Understandable. If ever there’s bad blood between me and someone else, I usually feel compelled to talk it out." (11:29–11:36)
• Reflection: These phrases show both involuntary actions (ending up somewhere) and strong inner or social obligations (addressing tension, clearing the air).

Memorable Bonus

• “Fester”: To describe letting negative feelings, like resentment, linger and grow.
  • "It festers… Yep, that's a good bonus for today." (Aubrey, 11:53–11:58)

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Why Use These Expressions? Precision, Nuance & Band 9 Vocab

[14:20–15:33]

• Precision: Saying “I felt compelled” or “I had no choice but to…” is more accurate and nuanced than just saying “I had to…”
  • “I can't help but do something. I found myself… I had no choice but to do this. It keeps you from having to use more sort of boring language… Also, it’s interesting. That’s almost too strong to say I had to do this. I was forced to do this. Some of the other ways we would say this wouldn't have the right tone.” (Aubrey, 14:20–14:48)
• IELTS Pro Tip: Using these phrases boosts speaking scores by adding variety and showing command of nuanced vocabulary.
  • “Absolutely. There's so much band 9 vocabulary in this episode. I hope everyone who's studying for IELTS is following All Ears English because… higher scoring to use one of today's phrases.” (Aubrey, 15:17–15:33)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On habits & autopilot:
  “You could potentially find yourself driving to your old address… You could find yourself staring into the fridge… All of these things are just sort of involuntarily doing it.” (Lindsay, 09:03–09:20)

• On linguistics & identity:
  “Fluency is tied to identity. When you’re unsure, you hold back. And when you hold back, people don’t see the real you.” (Intro segment, 00:59–01:09)

• On emotional honesty:
  “If ever there’s bad blood between me and someone else, I usually feel compelled to talk it out.” (Lindsay, 11:29–11:33)

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Practical Vocabulary and Idioms Reviewed

• Have no choice but to [do something] – for involuntary or required actions.
• Feel compelled/obliged/pulled/pushed to [do something] – for internal, often moral, motivation.
• Find yourself [doing something] – for unconscious or habitual action.
  • Bonus word: “Fester” – for unresolved negative feelings that linger and worsen.

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Takeaways & Action Points

• These phrases allow learners to move beyond “I have to...” and express subtler shades of meaning.
• Such vocabulary is essential for sounding natural, precise, and for higher-level (IELTS/TOEFL) speaking.
• Remember: "Connection, not perfection!"—using these nuanced phrases helps you connect more authentically.

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Recommended Next Steps

• Check out Episode 2594 for “can’t help but” and “can’t resist.”
• Use today’s vocabulary the next time you talk about habits or obligations!
• Download the All Ears English app for transcripts and vocab practice.

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Next Episode: Stay tuned for more natural vocabulary and real-life conversation tips.
Hosts' sign-off:
“Epic vocabulary episode today, Aubrey. So really good stuff. And I will see you very soon.” (Lindsay, 15:33–15:38)

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Transcript

[A]

This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2595. Do you find yourself loving English?

[B]

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz and Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the Allears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward/app.

[A]

What are the things that you feel compelled to do? And what is the difference between saying you have to do these things? Find out the answer and learn how to speak more precisely in English. Who are you in your native language? Confident, Funny, Opinionated. Now, who are you in English? English. If you feel smaller, quieter, or less expressive, that's not because you're bad at English. It's because fluency is tied to identity. When you're unsure, you hold back. And when you hold back, people don't see the real you. You don't need perfect grammar. You need clarity about what is holding you back. In just two minutes, you can discover your English level and what's slowing your progress for free. Go to allersenglish.com fluencyst score. That's allersenglish.com F L U N C Y S C O R E.

[B]

Hey there, Aubrey. How are you today?

[A]

I'm great, Lindsay.

[B]

How are you? I'm doing pretty good today. Aubrey, what is something that you have no choice but to do?

[A]

I have no choice but to help my kids get ready every morning. I had a talk with them a couple of days ago because they're 11. I feel like they're old enough to do a lot of it on their own. They just don't. They still are, like, wanting me to wake them up and make their lunches and interesting. I'm like, it's time to get a little more independent here, kids.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's a good age. By the time you're 11, you could pack a peanut butter sandwich, right?

[A]

And you know, sometimes they will. But a lot like they, if, if something doesn't happen, they're like, they're blaming me. I'm like, no, it's on you now.

[B]

Bad habit. Bad habit. Yeah, no, that's good.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

And how did the talk go? Did they receive it okay? Yes.

[A]

Know they're like, oh, but it's easier if you do it, mom.

[B]

I know.

[A]

But regardless. Yeah.

[B]

In life, there's always things that we have no choice but to do. Right. Sometimes. And then we can decide actually we don't have to do that thing sometimes.

[A]

It's true. Exactly. Right. As a mom, this is no longer going to be something I have no choice but to do. Right.

[B]

Good. Yeah. So what are we getting into today?

[A]

Yeah, this is interesting. Part one was phrases like can't help but and can't resist. So, you know, for being unable to. To resist something, but usually something positive or maybe both. So today this is a follow up with phrases that are more for negative things that you can't avoid, you sort of have an obligation to do it.

[B]

I like that. I like that. This is going to be good. So negative things you can avoid. And you. I mean, for me, I have no choice but to take my dog out to go to the bathroom three times a day.

[A]

Example.

[B]

Of course. I mean, yes, I like taking him for walks, but, you know, just to go out to pee. It's kind of annoying.

[A]

Like, I can't do what I did and be like, kefir, you're a few years old now. You need to be able to figure this out.

[B]

Yeah. That's the. The difference between raising a dog and raising a child. Eventually, hopefully, the child becomes independent. The dog never will.

[A]

Right, Right. Exactly.

[B]

That's funny. So, yeah, so we're getting into like a. A different kind of permutation of this idea of saying that you have to do something.

[A]

Exactly. And stay to the end. If you missed part one. You can definitely listen to these out of order. We'll share details so that you can look it up after you listen here. And be sure to hit follow. If you did miss that episode means you are likely missing a lot of our amazing epis episodes.

[B]

You don't want to do that, Right. So hit the follow button. If you are consuming this over on YouTube. You also have the option to hit the subscribe button. If you prefer to learn by video. That is great because we publish five episodes a week on YouTube. All right.

[A]

Yes, absolutely. All right, let's dive in with this vocab. So the first one you used when asking me if there's something I have no choice but to do, this is a little more formal. It emphasizes inevitability or something. The necessity of something to say. You have no choice but to do something.

[B]

Yes, exactly. So I had no choice but to apologize. So I did something wrong. Clearly it was on me to apologize. Right?

[A]

Yeah. And this kind of implies that, because usually we do have a choice whether to apologize or not. Maybe this happened at work and you were mandated to apologize about something, Right? Who knows?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or you just felt like the moral obligation, maybe. Right.

[A]

That could be too. Right. It could be that someone's not forcing you, but you felt personally like you had no choice. But.

[B]

Yep. And then deadlines. Right. After missing the deadline, I had no choice but to explain the delay to my manager.

[A]

Okay. Yes, same. And so here it means the same as just saying I had to do this. I needed to do this. It was necessary. But we'll often use this chunk almost to emphasize that it was necess. Emphasize how necessary it was.

[B]

Yes. And then I like the next one. This is a pair. They come together. They don't have to come together, but they mean the same thing. You feel compelled to do something or to feel obliged to do something. Same construction, right?

[A]

Yes. This is interesting. They're both a little more rare. Like, you know, people will know what you mean when you say these, but we don't hear them as often. They're also a little more formal, and sometimes they'll focus more on your inner motivation. Right. If you say you feel compelled to apologize or obliged to apologize, this means this is inner motivation. No one else is requiring it of you.

[B]

Yeah, for sure. So you could say I felt compelled to speak up because maybe no one else was speaking and the person gave a great speech, and then they asked for questions, and then the room was. Do you ever feel awkward? There's a moment when there are no questions.

[A]

Someone and it's like to say something. Yes. Do you feel compelled to be the one to say something? Yes. Or this will happen to me. If I feel like someone is being mistreated or treated unfairly, I'll feel compelled to speak up. Not going to silently stand by.

[B]

Yeah, I know. That's really good. Speak up for that person. Especially if they don't have a voice themselves. Right, right.

[A]

Or if they don't dare. If they're not, you know, they seem like they're not going to say something, and then. And I will. I'll speak up.

[B]

Good. Yeah. And what would be another example?

[A]

When he heard about the charity's urgent need, he felt compelled to donate. So this is that maybe you'll see on Facebook or somewhere, like crowdfunding or someone needing funds for something you might feel compelled or obliged to give money to donate.

[B]

Yep. Yep. So it's like an inner pole. Right. It's like your moral compass is Telling you something needs to be done and you're the one to do it.

[A]

Yes. I like that you shared inner pole. Because we'll also use the verb pulled here. I felt pulled to do this. Or pushed. We'll say I felt pushed to do this. And all of that just means I had this inner motivation to do it.

[B]

Yep. And this next one's a little less intentional. Well, a lot less intentional. Right. Find yourself doing something. So it describes a more involuntary action or a habit. Maybe we're on autopilot. Right.

[A]

Exactly right. For example, I find myself checking my phone too often. Right. So this has nothing to do. I wouldn't say I felt compelled to check my. That has a very different meaning. This is. You're just doing it involuntarily, realizing you're doing it without meaning to. Maybe.

[B]

Yeah. You're doing it by default. I think we're all in this place where we just go to our phones by default when there's a blank space of time.

[A]

Right. You just pick it up, check it. You don't even realize you're doing it half the time.

[B]

Yeah, for sure. Or I often find myself rereading the same paragraph because I get distracted. Do you do that too?

[A]

Absolutely. This happens to me. I'll be reading a book, and then I don't know if my kids are coming or who knows what else is distracting me. I remember this happening all the time. When I was in college, I would read the same paragraph in a textbook 30 times.

[B]

Here. I know. It's the worst. It's like I'm not absorbing it.

[A]

Yes. It's not keeping my attention. And so I get distracted and then find myself having to read it again and again.

[B]

Yep. You could also potentially find yourself driving to your old address. Like, if you moved across town, you could just go totally on autopilot. I find myself drive. Found myself driving to my old house when I don't live there anymore. You could find yourself staring into the fridge when you don't know why you're look what you're looking for. All sorts.

[A]

Absolutely. All of these things are just sort of involuntarily doing it. That happened to me yesterday. I used to take a certain right turn to pick my kids up from school. Yeah. And yesterday I was leaving the neighborhood and I just turned right there. Pure muscle memory. Found myself turning right.

[B]

That's how we know when the brain switched off. Taking a little nap, Right?

[A]

Exactly. Yeah.

[B]

Love that.

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[B]

Okay, Aubry, we are back from break. Let's do a little role play here. So here we are, friends talking over coffee. Okay.

[A]

Yes. Want to start us out?

[B]

Yes. So I found myself by the dessert table at the party last night, and I happened to see you and Sarah talking. How did it go?

[A]

Oh, yeah. I had no choice but to bring up what she said to me last week. It was time to clear the air.

[B]

Understandable. If ever there's bad blood between me and someone else, I usually feel compelled to talk it out.

[A]

Yeah, same. It was really weighing on me, so I'm glad we worked things out.

[B]

Yeah. Better to go in that direction than let something build. Right.

[A]

And. Absolutely. Yeah. I feel this way very much. I'm like, I need to clear the air. We need to talk it out. It's hard to just let something linger.

[B]

Yeah. Let it linger. Or there's another word I was looking for, and I can't think of the word, but where it just. It lingers, it builds, it sticks around,

[A]

it festers to fasters. Yes.

[B]

That's the word. Yep. That's a good bonus for today.

[A]

Yeah, definitely.

[B]

All right, what did we say in this role play? Aubrey?

[A]

So you first said, so I found myself by the dessert table at the party last night. I love this because you have witnessed a conversation between me and someone else and you want to ask about it. So you're sort of giving the reason, like you weren't eavesdropping.

[B]

Yeah. You didn't intentionally go over there.

[A]

Exactly. You just happened to be there and you're kind of making a joke because we say, you know, like, oh, I found myself by the dessert table. You're sort of saying like, the dessert table was drying me. I didn't even mean to go over and eat all those desserts.

[B]

You're right. This is pretty useful when you're trying to show you didn't have full intention to go and overhear a conversation, but you just happen to show up there. Right. It's like you're saying, like, you didn't have any control over the fact that you ended up there. Right, Exactly. It's useful.

[A]

And then I said I had no choice but to bring up what she said to me last week. So this is just a way of saying like, something was bothering me and I said it was time to clear the air. That's kind of a bonus. That means to talk openly, to restore a positive atmosphere. Right. So there was something, like you said, festering. There was some kind of conversation. We don't go into details about what happened, but I say I had no choice but to talk it out with her.

[B]

A lot of good vocabulary coming out of today's episode. Aubrey, this is going to be a great one for the app.

[A]

Oh, definitely. A lot of good keywords here. Hopefully you guys have downloaded the app. If not, you can get [e-mail]. yes.

[B]

And the last line I said, understandable. If there's ever bad blood between me and someone else, I usually feel compelled to talk it out. So I feel pulled, as we said before. Right.

[A]

This internal motivation to work it out so that you can be friends. Right. Because often if you do let it fester, if you let something like that linger, it could ruin the friendship.

[B]

You got it. So another great episode to check out, guys, would be 25.94. We bet you can't resist this episode.

[A]

Yeah. That was part one of our series with these phrases that we would use more often for something positive that you can't resist, that you can't help but doing.

[B]

Yeah. So make sure you complete the full series, Aubrey. Did we say there's going to be a part three? Did we say that's over on business?

[A]

I think just these two for this series.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Just these two.

[B]

All right. Make sure you complete, you know, close the loop on this series. Make sure you get both episodes and hit follow on the show while you're at it. Any final takeaways, Aubrey?

[A]

Yeah, I love this. I think it does show sort of vulnerability when we use these phrases. Right. I can't help but do something. I found myself, I had no choice but to do this. And it also just keeps you from having to use more sort of boring language of like, I had to do this and that. Also it's interesting. That's almost too strong to say I had to do this. I was forced to do this. Some of the other ways we would say this wouldn't really have the right tone.

[B]

And it's also not precise enough. Right. I had to do something. I was forced to do something versus I felt compelled to do something that not it's not precise enough. I felt compelled is more precise. Right.

[A]

A lot of these just have these slight nuances. When this is exactly what you want to share, you need the vocabulary to be precise.

[B]

Exactly. And we talk about this on the IELTS exam. If any of our listeners are taking ielts, we want that precise word that your other students that are coming in before and after you into the speaking test are not going to use.

[A]

Absolutely. There's so much band 9 vocabulary in this episode. I hope everyone who's studying for IELTS is following allers English, because if you find yourself about to say I had to do this, definitely higher scoring to use one of today's phrases.

[B]

Yes. Epic vocabulary episode today, Aubry. So really good stuff. And I will see you very soon.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Yep. Awesome. See you next time.

[B]

All right, take care. Bye. Thanks for listening to all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward/fluencyscore. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.

[D]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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