AEE 2618: Should You Call a Man Sassy? Gendered Words in English

Summary

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All Ears English Podcast: Episode 2618

Should You Call a Man Sassy? Gendered Words in English
Hosts: Lindsay McMahon & Aubrey Carter
Date: May 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the word "sassy"—what it really means in American English, when and how it can be used, and its gendered connotations. Hosts Lindsay and Aubrey break down how "sassy" and other gendered adjectives can affect connections and interactions, especially for ESL learners. The episode responds to listener questions about whether "sassy" can be used for men, its potential overlap with words like "fancy" or "sexy," and how context, tone, and self-identification play key roles in conveying meaning without causing offense.

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Key Discussion Points

1. What Does "Sassy" Mean, and Who Can Be Called Sassy?

• "Sassy" typically means spirited, bold, quick-witted, or a little cheeky.
  Aubrey: "Definitions wise, when you're referring to a woman, sassy means like spirited, bold, quick witted. It's usually quite positive. But it actually can be an insult... It's like a kind way of insulting someone you think is overly spirited or bold or loud." (06:33)
• Can you call a man sassy?
  • It is more commonly used for women, and using it for men can carry a different tone and sometimes be taken as offensive unless the man identifies with the term.
  • Aubrey: "For a man who is masculine identifying as a more masculine man, he might not want to be called sassy because it is in general considered a more feminine term." (05:58)
  • Lindsay: "These particular friends... they're maybe a little bit more in touch with their feminine side at times. And that's kind of where it makes sense to use the word sassy." (06:21)
  • Both recommend only using "sassy" for men if they use the term themselves or clearly enjoy it.
• Context, tone, and intent matter a lot.
  Aubrey: "If it sounds really negative and judgmental for anyone, probably wouldn't like that." (07:53)
  Lindsay: "Again, it should be playful and not judgmental if you do deploy this word." (07:58)
• Example Usage:
  • Playful: "Did you see his response in the text thread? Yes, he can be super sassy. I love it." (08:09)
  • Negative: "If your intent is more to criticize or call them out, that's where it could potentially be offensive." (07:04)
• Pro Tip:
  Aubrey: "If you hear someone refer to themselves as sassy, then you could say it in a very playful, fun way. If not, I would wait." (08:48)

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2. Synonyms & Alternative Words

• "Sassy" Synonyms: witty, fun, energetic (11:53)
• These terms can be used if "sassy" feels risky or is unsuitable for the context.

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3. "Sassy" and Usage Beyond People

• Pets & Children:
  Both hosts note that "sassy" is often used playfully with pets and kids, usually to mean giving attitude or being cheeky.
  • Lindsay: "Sometimes Keeper... is often very sassy. Cats are even better." (09:09)
  • Aubrey: "If they're giving you a little bit of attitude." (09:32)
• Verb & Noun form:
  Aubrey: "Sometimes if I say, you know, 'stop sassing me,' we use it as a verb. 'Don't sass me' means don't talk back to me." (09:48)

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4. "Sassy" to Describe Clothes

• Answering listener Gianluca’s question:
  • "Sassy" can be used to describe clothes, and it often implies a meaning similar to "sexy," with similar gendered implications.
  • Aubrey: "If you're going to call a dress sassy, recognize that it has the same meaning as calling it sexy. Is this someone that you want to call their clothing sexy? If so, I wouldn't. If not, I wouldn't call it sassy." (11:07)

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5. Sassy Saturdays & Podcast Culture

• The hosts call their Saturday episodes "Sassy Saturdays" because they want to evoke a vibe of wit, fun, and energy.
  • Lindsay: "It's a double alliteration. And it just works so perfect." (12:03)
  • Aubrey: "Those are the other ways that we say 'sassy.'... That describes our episodes exactly." (11:53)

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6. Other Gendered Words in English

• Sensitive:
  • Often expected of women (sometimes dismissive), but for men it can be either a compliment (emotionally aware) or an insult (overly emotional).
  • Aubrey: "If a man is called sensitive, it can be positive... It can be negative if they're being called overly emotional or reactive." (14:00)
  • Better synonyms: empathetic, defensive, reactive.
• Soft:
  • Used historically as a compliment (gentle), now often unwanted by women, and for men typically an insult ("weak" or "overly emotional").
  • Aubrey: "Soft sounds like an insult to me. Whether you're saying it to a man or woman." (16:08)
  • Better synonyms: calm, kind, thoughtful, caring.
• Wimp:
  • Broadly insulting, meaning weak or scared. No positive spin.
  • Aubrey: "We just shouldn't be insulting someone's strength." (16:18)
• Manchild:
  • Trendy, for men only. Means someone is immature or unable to handle emotions.
    Aubrey: "It means they can't take care of themselves or they're not handling their emotions." (17:08)
  • No direct female equivalent; "immature" can be used for any gender.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On self-identification and permission:
  Aubrey: "If you hear someone refer to themselves as sassy, then you could say it in a very playful, fun way. If not, I would wait." (08:48)
• On nuance:
  Lindsay: "This is extremely nuanced, Aubry." (07:22)
• On changing perceptions:
  Aubrey: "I think this has evolved as we've become more tolerant of gender identities. It is a positive thing to me now. I love someone who's sassy and who owns that." (10:32)
• On connection, not perfection:
  Lindsay: "Make sure that what you're saying would make them feel happy if they heard you say that. Right. Because we want to avoid hurting people." (21:59)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:07] Listener Questions: Is "sassy" only for women? Can it mean "fancy" for clothes?
• [05:08] Can "sassy" be used for men?
• [06:33] Definitions and different uses for men and women
• [07:53] The importance of tone and intent
• [09:09] "Sassy" with pets and children
• [09:48] "Sassing" as a verb
• [10:29] Changing perceptions and gender identities
• [11:07] Describing "sassy" clothes
• [12:03] Sassy Saturdays and podcast branding
• [13:36] Other gendered English adjectives: sensitive, soft, wimp, manchild
• [18:24] Role play: Insulting gendered words at work
• [19:02] How to push back professionally on inappropriate language
• [20:57] Episode reference: #1826 on derogatory gender adjectives

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Practical Takeaways

• "Sassy" is context and relationship dependent—use with care, especially for men, unless self-identification is clear.
• Always consider tone, context, and whether the person being described would appreciate the term.
• Synonyms like witty, fun, and energetic are safer in uncertain situations.
• It’s OK to gently push back or provide alternative words in professional settings if someone uses a term you find problematic.
• Many adjectives in English carry gendered connotations; being mindful avoids broken connections.
• The spirit of the podcast: Connection Not Perfection—prioritize building relationships and understanding nuance.

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Transcript

[Aubrey Carter]

This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2618. Should you call a man sassy? Gendered words in English

[Podcast Announcer]

welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz and Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, usa. And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com subscribe.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Today we dive into the heavily nuanced word sassy.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Find out exactly what it means, when

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

to use it, and who can be called sassy. Listen in today for tips on gender and vocabulary.

[Aubrey Carter]

Have you ever listened to native speakers and thought, I understand the words, but I still feel slightly lost. That's because real English conversations include more than vocabulary. There's speed, there's connected speech. There are cultural references and casual phrases. Your brain has to process all of this in real time. If conversations sometimes feel overwhelming, it may simply mean you're ready for the next level of training. Find out your exact level with our quick free fluency quiz. Go to allersenglish.com fluencyscore that's allersenglish.com F L U E N C Y S C O R E. Hey, Lindsay.

[Lindsey McMahon]

How are you? Hey, Aubry. I'm doing good. How are you? How's it going?

[Aubrey Carter]

Awesome. I am so excited for this episode today. Do you know anyone who's sassy besides me? I'm definitely sassy.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I don't really see the sassy side of you as much at work.

[Aubrey Carter]

That's true. I'm not sassy at work.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually have some guy friends that can be a little sassy at times.

[Aubrey Carter]

Nice, Nice. Definitely. My favorite peloton instructor is kind of is very sassy, actually, Cody Rigsby. But yeah, I. If I need to be. And sometimes my humor is a little bit sassy, for sure.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Love that. Love that. I mean, it puts a little spice into life, right? It just makes things fun. And if it's part of your personality, then you probably own it fully, right?

[Aubrey Carter]

Definitely. Yes. And we got a great question about this and we've also. I've had a few questions about this in our community from our listeners. Shout out to Caio. I remember asking about this for sure because we have sassy Saturday episodes. And so I've had students ask like, what does that mean? Or they'll look it up and then have questions. Right. It's kind of a strange word and it is sort of gendered in English.

[Lindsey McMahon]

It's a little gendered. It's fun. So the listener question comes in from YouTube, though this particular question. And I'll. Shall I just read the question, Aubrey?

[Aubrey Carter]

Absolutely.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Okay. So the listener says, this is from Gagi Contention. Hi, super ladies of super podcast. Is the word sassy, can it be used by men or is it only for women? Oh, yes.

[Aubrey Carter]

And then while I was preparing this episode and looking for future ideas, I saw Another question from YouTube. YouTube, YouTube. From Gianluca Maria Lechi and the. They said, great chat. Can sassy be a synonym of fancy when talking about clothes? So we get a lot of questions about this word sassy. We are going to dive into it today so that out there listening, everyone knows how to use it because it could be tricky. You wouldn't necessarily want to call just anyone sassy could be an insult. Some people could be offended. It's a bit of a tricky word.

[Lindsey McMahon]

It's a bit of a tricky word. And I think about the Sassy magazine that came out, you know, you remember, in like, the 90s.

[Aubrey Carter]

I forgot about that magazine. Yes. Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

There was a magazine called Sassy Magazine that was my first exposure to the word. I think when I saw that on the. Like in the grocery store, on the. On the racks.

[Aubrey Carter]

And this is interesting because many words take on a gendered meaning in languages. They can mean one thing for women and something different for men. That could be negative or positive. And if you accidentally use these words negatively, you could break a connection. The other person might feel offended or sad or hurt. So we definitely want to make sure that you have all the details about this interesting word.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, we're going to take on this real nuanced word here today. So, guys, come along with us on the ride and make sure you don't miss any future episodes of Allers English by hitting follow on the podcast player. Or if you're in YouTube, go ahead and hit subscribe. Because we like to approach these more challenging topics, these more nuanced words. We know you guys are ready for nuance so that you can build more connections. Okay.

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly. So let's first dive into that first question. Can sassy be used to talk about men? We shared a few men we know who are sassy, but it depends, right?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yes, for sure. So the answer is. Yeah. The question is, can it be used to talk about men? Yes. I mean, I give an example of a couple of guy friends that I have that definitely I would call sassy.

[Aubrey Carter]

And they would probably call themselves sassy.

[Lindsey McMahon]

They totally would.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

100 especially like with each other in their group.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Sometimes is playing off of each other in a sense. But really just. I would only use this in the right tone and context. Right. You probably wouldn't say this about your boss at work unless that were part. If, let's say if it's a man. Unless that were part of his personality and really wanted. He. He acted that way.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Worked.

[Aubrey Carter]

That's what's interesting because, you know, this listener is right that it is more commonly used for women. So we'll kind of go over the like terms here. But so for a man who is masculine identifying as a more masculine man, he might not want to be called sassy because it is in general considered a more feminine term.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yes, yes. And I would say these particular friends, I will just say that they're a little, maybe a little bit more in touch with their feminine side at times. And that's kind of where it makes sense to use the word sassy. That's what I'll say about them. They're just a lot of fun.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes, exactly. Right. So definitions wise, when you're referring to a woman, sassy means like spirited by bold, quick witted. It's usually quite positive. But it actually can be an insult if it's. It's like a kind way of insulting someone that you think is overly spirited or bold or loud or. It's tricky. Right?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. Unless they are owning that, like with the example of my friend, they would not be upset about that description. They would say, of course I am. Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

It really depends if a person self identifies as sassy. Awesome. If not, and they say something and you're like, wow, that was sassy. And your intent is a little more to criticize or call them out. That's where it could potentially be offensive.

[Lindsey McMahon]

This is where the nuance is.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right?

[Lindsey McMahon]

This is extremely nuanced. Aubry.

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly. So what about for men? Right. This can mean essentially the same thing, but it can be used to insult a man. If they're not more feminine presenting or more in touch with their feminine side. Then you know, saying that a man has feminine traits shouldn't necessarily be insulting, but the negative sentiment is there and a person could be offended.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, exactly. It also depends on the tone of voice you're using to call someone this. So if you say, oh, you're sassy, aren't you? Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

If it sounds really negative and judgmental for anyone. Probably wouldn't like that.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Exactly, exactly. So again, it should be playful and not judgmental if you do deploy this word. So, for example, did you see his response in the text thread?

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes, he can be super sassy. I love it.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Nice. Yes.

[Aubrey Carter]

The tone there is very playful and fun. I'm clearly talking about someone who would also call themselves sassy. Right? There's no judgment there.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Absolutely. Or I met your co worker earlier.

[Aubrey Carter]

He's sassy, isn't he? Keeps me on my toes.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Love it. Love it. So again, there's real nuance here. Be careful. If some. If you think someone will not want to be called sassy, don't call them that or it will be an insult.

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly.

[Lindsey McMahon]

If you decide you want. If that's your personality you're trying to deliver that, then fine, that's your choice. But just know that you're delivering an insult if you know they won't want that.

[Aubrey Carter]

I think a good pro tip is if you hear someone refer to themselves as sassy, then you could say it in a very playful, fun way. If not, I would wait. And if someone hasn't referred to themselves using that word, then I wouldn't. And there are some synonyms, some different words we could use instead, like witty, fun, or energetic. These really mean the same thing.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, I like that. Yeah, absolutely. Sometimes sassy can also be used to describe our pets around the house. Like sometimes Keeper, often very sassy. Cats are even better. Exact. Keeper's kind of a cat in his personality. So like, he'll kind of like listen to you and decide whether he wants to take your, you know, your request or just ignore you and then walk away with a side eye. You know, that's a sassy dog. Dog.

[Aubrey Carter]

I love it. Right? You're like, okay, he's given us some sass. We also use it that way. It's a noun. So sassy is the adjective. And then we can also say that, right? But yes, it's true. We say this for animals a lot too. If they're giving you a little bit of attitude.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Or kids maybe could be. Could act sassy, right?

[Aubrey Carter]

Absolutely. My daughter, my youngest daughter is very sassy and sometimes she talks back. So sometimes if I say, you know, stop sassing me, we use it as a verb too. Don't sass me means don't talk back to me. You know, speak respectfully or don't give. Give me sass means the same thing.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Interesting. I feel like my understanding of this word just even as a native speaker has become more nuanced as I've gotten older. Like, I feel like when I was a kid, maybe your. Your teenager's age. I only saw it as a negative thing. Right. Like this just means attitude. Right. But now I see it as some people want to be sassy. They're trying to be that way. It's a way of self express, of expressing themselves.

[Aubrey Carter]

Absolutely.

[Lindsey McMahon]

And they're in maybe gender identities in some ways too.

[Aubrey Carter]

I agree. I think this has evolved as we've become more tolerant of gender identities. It is a positive thing to me now. I love someone who's sassy and who owns that. And I think that's becoming more and more common that we don't look down on this so much, Especially if someone's self identified that way, then we can realize it's just fun. Sassy people are fun.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. Because our cultures kind of come around to accepting people a bit more. I think we always have. I guess American culture has been more likely to accept someone that's different, but more and more so over time. Like someone that's just willing to be themselves. We love that.

[Aubrey Carter]

Absolutely. Yes, I agree. And to quickly answer the second question that Gianluca sent in. Sassy can be used to describe clothing, but it has a very similar meaning to the word sexy, and the same gender implications apply. So all of this applies whether if you're going to call a dress sassy, recognize that it has the same meaning as calling it sexy. Is this someone that you want to call their clothing sexy? If so, I wouldn't. If not, I wouldn't call it sassy. Sassy.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. So let's go back to Sassy Saturdays. Why do we label our Saturday episodes, which I love, by the way, and we're never gonna change. It's fantastic.

[Aubrey Carter]

And if you don't know what we're talking about, you probably haven't subscribed and you're missing that. We also have episodes on Saturday, so be sure to hit follow so you don't miss those.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Definitely don't miss those. And why do we. Why did we choose that little nickname for our Saturday episodes?

[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah, because look at the synonyms we shared there. Witty, fun, energetic. Those are the other ways that we say sassy. And our. That describes our episodes exactly.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Plus it's a double iteration, which everyone loves. A double alliteration. And it just works so perfect. Yeah.

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[Lindsey McMahon]

All right, so Aubry, let's see what else. What are some other words that actually have a gender connot?

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's.

[Lindsey McMahon]

This is one aspect of this word we have to know. It does have a bit of a gender connotation, definitely.

[Aubrey Carter]

And there are a lot of words like this in English, so we're just going to share a few here. One is sensitive for women. This is often expected, right? Sometimes it is used a bit dismissively, but women are sort of expected to be sensitive. So then often if a man is called sensitive, it can be positive, meaning they're a deep thinker in touch with their emotions. It can be negative if they're being called overly emotional or reactive. A man might be offended or a woman, anyone might be offended if they're called sensitive.

[Lindsey McMahon]

It just so much depends on the context. What is the topic you're talking about?

[Aubrey Carter]

So we're gonna share. Yeah, better words. Go ahead.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. Empathetic, defensive or reactive? I mean, I think reactive definitely could be considered negative for sure, or defensive. But empathetic is a nice one. Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

But if I am being reactive, I would rather someone call me reactive than sensitive because they're making this emotional connection there that might not be there. You know what I mean?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was called. I. I think I shared this on the podcast. Some other episod. I almost got locked out of my house this morning. I was trying to get into the house and the code wasn't working. The battery died on the code and so I definitely started crying.

[Aubrey Carter]

If you're frustrated, yes, it happens.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Like, I think I'm going to spend the whole day in the hallway with my dog today. So.

[Aubrey Carter]

Well, and sometimes that just happens. If a person hasn't had an emotional outlet recently, sometimes I just need a good cry. So it's good to watch a sad movie. Otherwise I'm going to end up crying in a hall because I can't. I'm locked out. Out.

[Lindsey McMahon]

That's gonna happen. That's really what it is. That's really what it is. It's got to come out at some point every two weeks or so. So, you know, let it out. What better time soft would be another one. So here, you know, women, what do you think, Aubry, for calling a woman?

[Aubrey Carter]

It's really interesting. I think in the same way that sassy has really evolved, a lot of these words have evolved as well. Like once upon a time, most women would have had no problem being called soft. It would sort of mean like gentle. It would often be like a compliment.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

But a women now don't want to be seen as soft. We're more, you know, assertive and we're proud of our independence. So I would avoid this one. I think it often will be more of an insult for men as well that it would be. It would mean like weak or overly emotional. So I think better words are calm, kind, thoughtful, caring. All of those have a more positive connotation.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Right. Or just choose to comment on some other aspect of their personalities. Right, right.

[Aubrey Carter]

That too.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. I agree. Soft.

[Aubrey Carter]

But I don't mind someone calling me kind or caring. Sure. Soft sounds like an insult to me. Whether you're saying it to a man or woman.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I agree. Yeah. Wimp. Also big insult.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah. Right. And whether it's for a woman or a man, I don't want to be called a wimp. And it might be if someone dares me to do something and I. I don't want to, they might be like, you wimp. It means you are weak or scared. And there's just, you know, we just shouldn't be insulting someone's strength. So there isn't really a kind way to say that this.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I agree. And then the world, the word manchild. Now, I will say that this is popular right now. It's trendy. Yeah, I'll say. I'm not above calling someone a manchild. I just haven't done it directly to their face.

[Aubrey Carter]

I wouldn't say it to someone's face. I think it was a Sabrina Carpenter song. There's like a popular new song, Manchild. I think it's Sabrina Carpenter. I'm not positive out there. Listeners might be like, no, it's this other pop girly, you know, Right. Right, right. But yeah, this is an interesting word. It's really for men only. And it means child.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Ish.

[Aubrey Carter]

Like they can't take care of themselves or that they're not handling their emotions.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yes, yes. All the things, I guess the emotional status that you would expect of an adult, they haven't gotten there for some reason. Right. Yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

And this is used like, for example, if people are. Two people are dating and they get ghosted, they might. And that they might call the man a man child. Because what they're saying is this person is, you know, they want to insult them. They're upset about their behavior and they're calling them immature. Really?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Totally. That's a good example. And so I would never say this too directly to a person's face. This is only for women, by the. Sorry. For men, by the way. Doesn't apply. I wouldn't say you're a man child.

[Aubrey Carter]

I mean, and there's no female equivalent. We don't say woman child or girl child. There's really not.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, but it's better to be more specific. You know, you're irresponsible, inconsiderate. You're not very emotionally aware.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right. I was trying to think of a female equivalent. We do just say a child. You're being a child. That could be said to a man or a woman. And what you mean is you're being immature.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Immature, yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

Interesting.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Immature is a frequent one. I think I would hear too. Yeah. Really interesting stuff here. So a bit of a what not to do episode, as you said earlier. Aubry. So let's go for it. So let's do a role play. Yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

Okay, let's do it. You are training a new male co worker and you are venting about them to me.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Okay, here we go. He's so sensitive. I was trying to give him feedback during the training and he could not handle it. It.

[Aubrey Carter]

Oh, what do you mean by sensitive? Like defensive.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Exactly. He got so upset. Honestly, he's just a bit soft overall.

[Aubrey Carter]

Maybe it's better to say he's reactive.

[Lindsey McMahon]

True. That's probably a more accurate way to put it. But honestly, he might just be a complete man child.

[Aubrey Carter]

Well, I definitely wouldn't give him that feedback.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. You're not gonna say that to a co worker.

[Aubrey Carter]

I kind of love this role play because we have all been there where we're in this conversation where someone is using these gendered insulting. And it's hard to know how to respond. You want to let them know I'm not comfortable with the language. You're Using. But it's really uncomfortable to say that directly to a co worker. So we have some good options here instead.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, that's a really good point. We're getting a lot out of today's episode.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Wow.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

A lot.

[Lindsey McMahon]

This is really power, power packed episode today.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

So going through what we said, I said, oh, he's so sensitive. And he said, what do you mean by that? Do you mean defensive?

[Aubrey Carter]

Right. So instead of being like, oh, you know, I know. Right. Or that's crazy, which would condone use of this sensitive, I'm pushing back. Right. I'm sort of saying like, I don't know if that's the best word to use and I'm giving you an alternative.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Exactly. And then I said, honestly, he's just a bit soft overall here. I come with one of the words we don't recommend.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah. And then I sort of did the same thing where I say, maybe it's better to say he's reactive. Right. So I'm basically. Without saying it, I am implying I don't agree with the use of that term.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah.

[Aubrey Carter]

How about if you say this instead?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

But in a very professional, polite way.

[Lindsey McMahon]

But I'm not getting the memo here, Aubry.

[Aubrey Carter]

I'm just not getting it because I

[Lindsey McMahon]

say, but honestly, he might just be a complete man child.

[Aubrey Carter]

And then I just say, well, I wouldn't give him that feedback. Don't say that to his face. And I probably would excuse myself. Right. Because I'm like, I would be uncomfortable at this point. Someone's venting to me about a co worker using these inappropriate terms. But we, we do find ourselves in those situations sometime. You need to know what you can say 100%.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I love it. Really good. A lot in this episode today. Guys, go over and check out episode 1826. Do you use these derogatory gender adjectives in English on the same kind, kind of the same vibe as today's episode?

[Aubrey Carter]

This was from a while back, so you could either search 1826 in the app, come find it on our episode, but we shared different words, like shrill. I remember. Was one an adjective to describe a voice that's more gendered? We talked different words that we didn't cover today that are sort of gendered in English. So be sure to check that out if you don't remember it or if you missed it.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. Aubrey, where should we leave our listeners? Great question. I think a lot of our listeners have wondered about this word sassy. And others.

[Aubrey Carter]

Well, it is tricky, especially with terms that are associated with certain gender. You need the right tone and context. You wouldn't say them to just anyone. We have some pro tips here about when to know what to say. What can you say if someone says one and you don't feel comfortable with it? Right. Very tricky. Tricky.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Wow. Really good. But again, it comes back to connection. If you're going to use the word sassy to describe a man, make sure that man would appreciate and say thank you. I know I am. Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

I know, right? I love it. Wait till they call themselves that.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yes, exactly.

[Aubrey Carter]

Go for it.

[Lindsey McMahon]

That's what it is. I think that's what it's what all of these words are about. Make sure that what you're saying would make them feel happy if they heard you say that. Right. Because we want to avoid hurting people.

[Aubrey Carter]

Absolutely right. It's about connection. If you're hurting someone, you won't be able to connect.

[Lindsey McMahon]

You got it. Good stuff, Aubry. See you next time. Have a good day.

[Aubrey Carter]

See you next time.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Bye.

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[Lindsey McMahon]

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[Aubrey Carter]

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