All Ears English Podcast

Episode: Can You Use “They” for One Person?

Hosts: Lindsay McMahon and Aubrey Carter
Date: December 20, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode focuses on a common English question: “Can you use ‘they’ for one person?” Lindsay and Aubrey break down the five main reasons native English speakers use “they/them” as singular pronouns, illustrating each with practical examples. The discussion is especially relevant for English learners aiming to be inclusive, avoid assumptions, and communicate naturally in modern American English.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Using "They" When Gender is Unknown

(Starts at 04:47)

• Situation: When you do not know the gender of the person being referred to, "they" serves as a neutral pronoun.
• Example: “Someone left their laptop in the conference room. I hope they come back for it.”
• Quote:

  “There are actually five different ways that we do this in English… I’ll say ‘they’ because I don’t know if it’s a he or she.” – Aubrey (02:49)

• Modern Usage: Using “he or she” is now considered outdated; “they” is the preferred modern form.

2. Avoiding Assumptions About Gender

(Starts at 05:53)

• Situation: Even if you might guess the gender, using “they” prevents making incorrect assumptions.
• Example: “Maggie invited a coworker to happy hour. She said they will be here in about an hour.”
• Explanation: Sometimes, even names do not clearly indicate gender—using “they” is both polite and inclusive.
• Quote:

  “This keeps it inclusive, neutral, and it helps you avoid accidentally misgendering someone. Which we don’t want to do.” – Lindsay (06:54)

3. Nonbinary Identities and Pronouns

(Starts at 07:19)

• Situation: Some people identify as nonbinary and use “they/them” pronouns as their singular pronoun.
• Examples:
  • “Alex said they will join the meeting at 3.”
  • “Taylor brought their proposal for review.”
• Cultural Note: Increasingly, people state their pronouns on social media or in email signatures.
• Quote:

  “As long as you are making an effort, like you’re acknowledging that they’re going by ‘they’ and you’re trying… just apologize and correct it. It’s that simple.” – Lindsay (07:50)

4. Hypothetical or Generalized Persons

(Starts at 08:56)

• Situation: “They” is used when referencing general, hypothetical, or unspecified individuals, especially in rules or instructions.
• Example:
  • “If anyone has concerns, they should contact HR.”
  • “Every student must submit their application by Friday.”
• Insight: Using “they” in these contexts is both more fluent and more inclusive than “he or she.”
• Quote:

  “If we say ‘he or she’ here, we are also excluding anyone who identifies as ‘they/them’ pronouns.” – Aubrey (09:30)

5. Protecting Privacy/Anonymity

(Starts at 10:03)

• Situation: Speakers use “they” to protect someone's identity or privacy.
• Examples:
  • “Someone told me they weren’t happy with the new schedule.”
  • “A colleague mentioned they’re feeling overwhelmed, so I’m helping cover part of their workload.”
• Explanation: This is important when sharing sensitive information or surprises.
• Quote:

  “You have to be very present to not give up an identity.” – Lindsay (10:28)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Modern Usage:

  “It feels outdated to a lot of people to say ‘he or she’… this is more like a modern way of speaking to say ‘they’ instead.” – Aubrey (05:27)

• On Making Mistakes:

  “People are kind. Right. And they’re not going to necessarily be offended automatically. They’re giving us grace.” – Aubrey (08:16)

• On Cultural Change:

  “There’s a lot going on right now and politics around this. We won’t go into all that…” – Lindsay (08:37)

Practical Role Play Example

(Begins at 13:06)
Lindsay and Aubrey perform a dialogue using “they/them” in various contexts to model authentic conversational usage:

• “Someone left their phone on the cafe counter.” (Gender unknown; 13:11)
• “If they come back soon, it’ll still be there.” (Hypothetical; 13:16)
• “By the way, my friend is bringing a guest to the party tonight, but I don’t know their name.” (Avoiding assumptions; 13:19)
• “Jamie is coming too. They said they might be a bit late because of work.” (Nonbinary pronouns; 13:24)
• “If anyone arrives early, they can help me set up.” (Hypothetical/general; 13:32)
• “Someone told me they’re coming, but they want you to be surprised.” (Protecting privacy; 13:35)

Quick Debrief (Starts at 13:44):
The hosts review the role play, highlighting which “they” usage appeared in each line, and reinforcing why “they” is so ubiquitous and important in English communication.

Key Takeaways for English Learners

• “They” is not only grammatically correct for singular use, but also considered more natural, modern, and polite in contemporary English.
• There are five main reasons to use “they” for a single person:
  1. Gender is unknown
  2. Avoiding gender assumptions
  3. Respecting nonbinary identities
  4. Speaking generally/hypothetically
  5. Protecting privacy or anonymity
• Making mistakes with pronouns is normal—what matters most is making an effort and correcting respectfully.
• Using “they” strengthens your ability to connect with people and communicate like a native speaker.

Final Thoughts

(16:42)

“This is a huge connection skill and it really matters.” – Lindsay

The episode closes with encouragement for learners to adopt “they” in their English conversations as part of a welcoming, modern, and connection-focused approach.

For more episodes and resources, visit All Ears English
Episode also available as video on YouTube