AEE: The Best 3-Step Strategy for Socializing in English

Summary

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Episode Overview

Podcast: All Ears English
Hosts: Lindsay McMahon & Aubrey Carter
Episode: AEE: The Best 3-Step Strategy for Socializing in English
Date: January 6, 2026

Main Theme:
This episode centers on a practical, three-step strategy for English learners to prepare for and succeed in business and social networking situations in English. Focusing on the mantra "Connection, not Perfection," Lindsay and Aubrey discuss tactics for overcoming “blank mind” moments, building better work relationships, and leveraging small talk for career advancement.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Value of English in Career Growth

• English Skills & Salary Impact:

  • Aubrey references a Pearson survey showing strong English skills can lead to as much as an 80% increase in salary.
    • “A survey by Pearson found that strong English skills can complete as much as an 80% increase in salary.”
      – Aubrey Carter [02:59]
  • Lindsay highlights how learning English is not just about grammar or vocab, but about opening up opportunities for promotions and pay raises.

• Socializing as Essential:

  • Lindsay stresses that relationships are key: “It’s not just the numbers and the charts and the spreadsheets. It’s relationships.”
    – Lindsay McMahon [03:39]

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2. Why Socializing is Hard—and How to Prepare

• Common Struggles:

  • Many learners feel their English is holding them back from fully participating in business settings, especially small talk and informal conversations.

• Importance of Preparation:

  • Aubrey: “There’s so much that you can do in advance” before a business meeting or networking event to set yourself up for success.
    – Aubrey Carter [05:55]

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3. The 3-Step Socializing Strategy

Step 1: Open Your “Brain Box”

Preparation before a Social Event

• Mentally rehearse the situation:
  • Where will you be?
  • Who will you talk to?
  • What topics are likely to come up?
• Example questions to prepare:
  • “What do I already know about this person?”
  • “Is there something I’d like to know?”
• Lindsay explains, “You are literally mentally rehearsing it...the words are bubbling up. Things are bubbling up.”
  – Lindsay McMahon [07:13]

Step 2: Plan Your Conversation Starters

• Decide in advance how to greet and what to bring up.
• Write out possible role-plays or notes to reduce awkwardness.
• Example:
  • “Hey Jennifer, how’s it going? I remember you told me you love to ski. How long have you been skiing?”
    – Lindsay McMahon [09:18]
• “This is going above and beyond...she’s going to feel cared about that you remember this.”
  – Aubrey Carter [09:42]

Step 3: Be an Active Listener

• Focus on the other person’s words, not on what you’ll say next.
• Let follow-up questions arise naturally from what you hear.
• Lindsay: “If you don’t know what your follow up question is, it means you’re not really listening.”
  – Lindsay McMahon [10:59]
• The hosts reinforce their philosophy:
  • “Connection, not perfection! The brain can’t be lost in self-consciousness and also be connecting at the same time.”
    – Lindsay McMahon [11:02], paraphrased

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Imagine what you could do with an 80% increase in salary, Lindsay.”
  – Aubrey Carter [02:59]

• “Socializing is a big part of business success...it’s relationships.”
  – Lindsay McMahon [03:39]

• “Opening your brain box...you are literally mentally rehearsing it. The words are bubbling up. Things are bubbling up.”
  – Lindsay McMahon [07:13]

• “This is just a mental exercise we’re doing to settle ourselves into the moment.”
  – Lindsay McMahon [08:34]

• “When you remember what someone said before...you can really stand out remarkably so.”
  – Lindsay McMahon [09:59]

• “If you don’t know what your follow up question is, it means you’re not really listening.”
  – Lindsay McMahon [10:59]

• “You can’t be focused on perfection while trying to connect...the brain can’t do both.”
  – Lindsay McMahon [11:02]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:59] – Data on English skills raising salaries (Pearson Survey)
• [03:39] – Why socializing matters for business, not just technical skills
• [04:18] – Three-step preparation strategy preview
• [06:31] – Step 1: Opening your “brain box” for preparation
• [08:46] – Step 2: Planning conversation starters
• [10:34] – Step 3: Being an active listener and connection vs. perfection
• [12:10] – Recap: This strategy is just a glimpse of their full course

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Structure of the Three-Step Strategy (Recap)

1. Open Your Brain Box:
   • Mentally rehearse situations and people
   • Recall and prep for topics and questions
2. Plan Starters:
   • Script/brainstorm greetings and interesting comments
   • Reduce anxiety and awkwardness
3. Active Listening:
   • Engage fully, focus on content over perfection
   • Let follow-ups stem organically from real interaction

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Overall Tone & Takeaway

The hosts’ style was upbeat, encouraging, and practical, with a strong focus on boosting confidence rather than perfect grammar or vocabulary. The episode is both motivational and actionable, emphasizing practice, preparation, and authenticity in English social situations: "Connection, not perfection!"

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For Listeners

This episode is perfect for intermediate-to-advanced English learners and professionals who want to break into American business culture, improve networking skills, or just feel more at ease in conversational English. The practical advice is immediately actionable, and the three-step framework offers a clear path to feeling more prepared and present in English-language social situations.

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Transcript

[Aubrey Carter]

This is the Allers English Podcast, the best three step strategy for socializing in English.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American host, Aubry Carter, the IELTS whiz and Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer. Coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, usa. You know how important socializing is to your career success and your salary in the long run. But did you know that there is a specific prep strategy that will ensure your mind never goes blank? Find out more. Today. New Year, new you. But what about your business English? Are your emails too formal? Are you still saying could you kindly when native speakers just say can you? Do you hesitate in conversations because you're not sure what actually sounds natural? Do you feel awkward jumping into casual work conversations or even small talk? If you said yes to any of these, your English might be holding you back at work. And this new year, upgrade your confidence with the All Ears English Business English course. Sound natural, sound confident and see the results in your career. You can save up to $100 off the course, but this offer expires January 11th at midnight. Go to allearsenglish.com business to join now that's allearsenglish.com busng I n e S S. Hey Aubrey, how are you feeling about the new year?

[Aubrey Carter]

I I love a new year. A fresh start. What about you?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, it's good. It feels good. Feels fresh. Do you typically set goals and are you good at doing that for the new year?

[Aubrey Carter]

I try to especially exercise goals. Whenever January 1st hits. I'll like make some really specific exercise goals and I'm pretty good with sticking with with them, at least for a while. What about you? Do you set goals in the new year?

[Lindsey McMahon]

I don't really set personal goals so much, but business goals. I think we do as a team sometimes or personally I do.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lindsey McMahon]

There's got to be something, right, that we, you know, aspire to for the year. For sure.

[Aubrey Carter]

We all feel that way right when we're hitting a new year. Like okay, I'm this is the year that I'm going to make this change. Yes, for sure.

[Lindsey McMahon]

And so speaking of goals, I mean one thing for a lot of our listeners, a big reason our listeners are learning English is to get a salary increase, get a promotion, make more money.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Uh, we don't talk about this enough, but English skills directly lead to increased salary. I mean there's even data can you give us a little bit of the data, Aubrey.

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes. A survey by Pearson found that strong English skills can complete as much as an 80% increase in salary. Imagine what you could do with an 80% increase in salary, Lindsay.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh my gosh. Imagine that. That's insane. Insane. Right? So that's. But that's why we're here. I mean, our listeners know this, they know there's the opportunity, but how do we reach out and grab it becomes the question. Right?

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly right. In order to get those promotions, that salary increase, you need to be able to do all of speak up naturally in a meeting. Organize ideas with clarity and confidence, socialize with clients and colleagues. Yeah, it's true.

[Lindsey McMahon]

I mean, socializing is a big part of business success. It's not just the hard stuff. It's not just the numbers and the chart charts and the spreadsheets. It's relationships. Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

And that's what we're focusing on today. Right. We are focusing on socializing in English because this is such a key skill to building your network.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah. And it's a big. It's actually a huge focus. It's a major module inside our business English course. Right. And specifically we go into multiple lessons within socializing and small talk. But we do teach a three step preparation strategy on how to prepare for a social interaction. Right, Aubry?

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly right. That, like you said, that module is so rich. We interview a CEO who has had great success building a network. He has attended so many conferences, has had such great advice. But yes, we teach this three step strategy that we're going to share with you today so that you can be prepared to build your social network, to be ready for the small talk or building relationships with people that you have met before. There's so much that goes into this.

[Lindsey McMahon]

And that's one thing that I love about the business English course. You're learning not necessarily just from us. You're learning from the native speakers that we were, that we interviewed and we bring these recordings to you in the course. In addition, we surveyed, we got a hundred survey responses, Aubry, from people that we know that are active in the business world of what are the words they're using now that that came from them that didn't come from us or a textbook.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

And these words were placed into the course. So good.

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly right. It's amazing. Course. I'm excited to share this strategy with you guys today. But we definitely want to make sure that you're aware of our special new year new Me sale of this business English course. It is Live now. And you can save up to $100 on our business English course if you go to allersenglish.com business.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, and there's lots of new stuff in there, too, that we didn't see last year. There's new AI prompts, custom chats in there. There's AI pronunciation feedback and sc. There's lots of good stuff that hasn't been in that course in the past. So go to allersenglish.com business. The offer will expire on January 11, that Sunday coming up very soon. So guys, get in.

[Aubrey Carter]

All right, all right, all right. Let's dive in to share this three step strategy. If you have a conference coming up or a meeting, if you know that you're going to be in a situation where you need to socialize, where you're wanting to build those relationships, build that network, there's so much that you can do in advance.

[Lindsey McMahon]

New year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps plus fries and a medium soft drink for.

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[Aubrey Carter]

So let's share step one. Lindsay.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, I mean, the broad step here is what we call opening your brain box. Right. This came up on IELTS Energy originally, but it's a great concept for language learning in general because you're kind of mentally preparing for this event. Isn't that what we're doing, essentially, Aubrey?

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly right. And there are specific questions that you want to think about. Answer before the conversation starts. Right. Before you go into a meeting or take a conference call, before a work dinner or a party, you want to ask yourself, for example, where will I be? Like mentally put yourself in that place. What do I know about this place? What do people talk about in this situation? And who will I have a chance to talk to there?

[Lindsey McMahon]

Exactly. It. So you're, you are literally mentally rehearsing it. This came up in a conversation I was having just last night. The person I was talking to used a word that had come up in a prior conversation we had had two days before. And I was like, oh, here's why you use that. The brain box is the reason that word came up. I'm sure she wasn't interested in the brain box concept as much as I was. But. But it's like the words are bubbling up. Things are bubbling up. Right. This gives us an opportunity to prepare.

[Aubrey Carter]

Okay. Exactly right. And when you're thinking about who you'll be talking to, you want to ask yourself, you know, what do I already know about them? Do I already know their job? If they have a family, where they live, what they like to do in their free time? This will give you, you know, help you recall anything they have already told you or give you ideas for questions to ask them.

[Lindsey McMahon]

It's so simple, and it seems very elementary, but it's not. I mean, you can also think about, what do I not know about them that I would like to know? So this will help us prevent the moment that our mind goes blank, which is something I think a lot of our listeners stress out about. Right?

[Aubrey Carter]

Absolutely right. So, for example, if you know someone named Jennifer is going to be there, you'd be thinking, okay, she has mentioned that she loves skiing, so I'm going to ask her when she started skiing and when she went last. And then you're going to feel confident. You're going to be prepared. You can come up with the phrases you would maybe ask her, love it.

[Lindsey McMahon]

And no big deal. If it doesn't come up or if it doesn't feel like it fits, that is totally fine. We don't have to ask this question. This is just a mental exercise we're doing to settle ourselves into that moment.

[Aubrey Carter]

Okay? Exactly. All right, what else do we do? You are going to decide how you're going to start the conversation, right? This is where we can eliminate awkwardness by knowing ahead of time, like, okay, I know who I'm going to talk to and how I'm going to start. And you can take notes about what you might say, write out possible role plays of how the conversation might go. Just like Lindsay said, it might not go exactly this way. You might sort of on the fly, think of a different way, something else to comment on, to start the conversation. But this is going to help you build confidence because you have ideas.

[Lindsey McMahon]

It's going to help you be more spontaneous because you know you have a backup plan, right? You have a little bit of a backup plan of what you could say. It's going to give us that freedom of mind that I think we're looking for when it comes to speaking and connecting in English. So here's what it could look like. You're going to walk up to Jennifer and you're going to say, hey, Jennifer, how's it going? Then you might say, I remember you told me you love to ski. How long have you been skiing? Right.

[Aubrey Carter]

Nice. And think about how just remembering something someone told you in the past. Everyone knows you're meeting so many people. They this is going above and beyond. Right. She's going to feel cared about that you remember this and it's going to be a fun conversation for her because you're asking about her interests.

[Lindsey McMahon]

It's huge. When you remember what someone said before, most people or many people just don't do it. They don't bother to. They're a little too maybe self involved or just distracted. So you can really stand out remarkably so when you do remember what someone has told you about themselves.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right. And if you don't do this preparation, you might not be able to do that either because you might have to sit and think for a little bit to remember, you know, who's going to be there and what they've told you. And if you get there and that's the first time you think about it, you might not recall that she had shared that with you.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Very true. And then what will be the third step in this process?

[Aubrey Carter]

All right, so third comes when you start that conversation. It is to be an active listener. Right. When you ask them a question, listen to the answer, respect the person that you're talking to. You want to avoid thinking of what you're going to say next and really listen actively.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Yeah, we get a lot of questions of what should I ask, what follow up questions should I ask? The follow up questions are right there in what the person's saying.

[Aubrey Carter]

Right.

[Lindsey McMahon]

If you don't know what your follow up question is, it means you're not really listening. And this is where it comes back to our philosophy of connection, not perfection. You can't be focused on perfection while trying to connect the brain. It. I believe, we believe here that the brain can't do both. The brain can't be lost in self consciousness and also be connecting at the same time.

[Aubrey Carter]

It's so true. Right. So this example of Jennifer is a good example. You don't know exactly what she will say, so you can't write out every. You know, you could, you could imagine some possibilities, but then you need to be ready to listen. If she says she started skiing when she was a young child, then you could ask her who she first went with or where she skied, where she lived and you know, how was the snow. There are all kinds of follow up questions that could come up depending on how she answers.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Oh, there's so much we could do here. But a big part of it is giving ourselves that leg up by going through this step of this series of steps of preparation. It's a system, right. It's a tactic here, Aubrey.

[Aubrey Carter]

Exactly right. There's so much you can do ahead of time to be prepared and to feel confident in that moment. So follow this three step strategy. This is straight out of our business course and it works.

[Lindsey McMahon]

And it's just like a tiny, tiny portion of what's in that course, right? The course is big, it's robust, it's ready for you. It's got new AI practice opportunities right there waiting for you. And right now, this week, it you can get up to a hundred dollars off depending on your plan. Ch so Aubry, where can we go to get the deal?

[Aubrey Carter]

Yes, go to allersenglish.com business b u s I N E S S All.

[Lindsey McMahon]

Right, good stuff today. Great strategy and we'll see you back here very soon. Aubry, have a good day.

[Aubrey Carter]

Awesome. See you guys next time.

[Lindsey McMahon]

All right, bye. Thanks for listening. To all ears. English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our 22 minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward/fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.

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