Podcast Summary

Podcast: All Of It with Alison Stewart, WNYC
Episode: DOC NYC: The Gas Station Attendant
Date: November 18, 2025
Guest: Carla Murthy, Documentarian

Main Theme

This episode centers around Carla Murthy’s deeply personal documentary, The Gas Station Attendant, screening at DOC NYC. The film explores her father’s challenging immigration journey from the streets of India to Texas, focusing on his relentless quest for the American Dream and the emotional legacy of familial survival, sacrifice, and resilience. Through archival family footage and recorded conversations, Murthy examines how her father’s past shaped her family—and her own understanding of identity, hardship, and grace.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Origins of the Film

• Recording Family History:
  • The film began with phone calls Carla recorded with her father 20 years ago, when he worked as a gas station attendant; these calls were born out of a desire to keep him company at night.
  • ([02:22]) “Just as a kind of father-daughter project … and then I had these recordings for years and did nothing with them… It really wasn’t until his passing, and me also becoming a mom, trying to make sense of his life after he passed … that drew me back to those tapes.” – Carla Murthy
• Grief as Motivation:
  • Revisiting the tapes during her own period of grief, Carla sought to understand her father not just as a parent, but as a human shaped by hardship.

2. Her Father’s Life and the American Dream

• Childhood in India:
  • Born into initial comfort, his family lost everything during India’s partition, prompting him to run away at 10 years old and survive through odd jobs on the streets.
  • ([04:28]) “I wondered why … he wouldn’t stick with one thing … he says, you know, I would just go from place to place as a matter of survival … It occurred to me that was sort of this thing that defined him.” – Carla Murthy
• Chance Encounter & Immigration:
  • As a teen, he worked at a hotel in Delhi and met a Texan couple who, moved by his resilience, brought him to the United States and sponsored his education.
  • ([07:42]) “This couple from Houston, Texas arrived in the middle of the night and my dad waited on them. … The next day, they brought him to the embassy and wanted to bring him to the States to sponsor him.” – Carla Murthy
• American Struggles & Adaptation:
  • Once in America, he held various jobs: engineer, shop owner, gas station attendant—the latter becoming a focal point for Carla’s reflection on immigrant identity and survival.

3. Family Dynamics & Financial Hardship

• Multiple Jobs & Constant Change:
  • Carla reflects on how, as a child and young adult, her father’s inability to keep one job was puzzling and sometimes frustrating—a realization which only made sense against the backdrop of his survival-driven past.
  • ([10:57]) “He was just trying to do the best he could with what he had … we all make mistakes … we need to give each other and ourselves some grace.” – Carla Murthy
• Unspoken Financial Strain:
  • Her father concealed the depth of their financial troubles to protect his children—sometimes to their detriment, as revealed by his taking out debts in Carla’s name.
  • ([14:36]) “I felt again, it was like that albatross … I felt betrayed and I felt, like, caught and trapped and all of that. … It was devastating to be that young … and then just to be saddled with all this debt.” – Carla Murthy

4. Complex Parent-Child Relationships

• Parental Distance, Guilt, and Boundaries:
  • Carla shares her guilt over emotionally distancing herself from her father as she tried to start her own life—a recognizable and poignant dynamic for many children of immigrants.
  • ([19:44]) “I have a lot of guilt about that … I was trying to just focus on [my kids]… I felt like I was being called to fix it or to take care of them.” – Carla Murthy

5. Identity, Belonging & Growing Up Multicultural in Texas

• Otherness & Diversity:
  • Though Texas wasn’t seen as diverse, Carla explains her experience growing up in a “strong, diverse middle class,” yet never feeling “Indian enough, Filipino enough, or American enough.”
  • ([18:39]) “When I moved to New York, it felt almost segregated to me compared to where I grew up, because it was a very strong, diverse middle class. … I’ve never felt Indian enough. I never felt Filipino enough. I increasingly now don’t feel American enough.” – Carla Murthy

6. The Documentary’s Structure and Approach

• Personal Diary/Aesthetic:
  • The film weaves Carla’s coming-of-age with her father’s story, using home footage shot on Super 8 and audio recordings, highlighting family joy alongside hardship.
• Intentional Subjectivity:
  • Although her siblings have their own memories, the film is intentionally Carla’s personal essay—honoring both her father’s humanity and her subjective experience.

7. Empathy, Immigrant Narratives, and the Power of Kindness

• Empathy for Everyday Immigrants:
  • The title is a deliberate invitation to see “intimate strangers”—immigrants in ordinary jobs—as full, complex humans, not stereotypes.
  • ([23:33]) “Those are the people we see in our everyday lives … the immigrants who are being defined by their work. ... This is my invitation to get to know someone that you probably see every day and have never asked them where they’re from.”
• The Value of Kindness:
  • The film’s message: show each other kindness and grace; one act can transform a life and entire generations.
  • ([21:55]) “It was one act of kindness that completely changed the course of my father’s life, this one couple … I would not exist if it weren’t for that one action … be kind to each other.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Survival and Enduring Hardship:

  “When he became a parent, that was the low part of his life, and anything else was not comparable to that time … It was nothing like living on the streets and not having a roof over my head … I still have my four kids. I still have a roof over my head.”
  – Carla Murthy ([09:02])

• On Becoming a Parent and Perspective:

  “You hear these stories from your parents ... but when you become a parent, it just hits so differently ... the thought of my child living on the street, it just broke my heart.”
  – Carla Murthy ([05:57])

• On Grace and Forgiveness:

  “…we all make mistakes and we all screw up, but we need to give each other and ourselves some grace. … This film was my attempt at reconciling a lot of that frustration.”
  – Carla Murthy ([10:57])

• On Cultural Identity:

  “I’ve never felt Indian enough. I never felt Filipino enough. I increasingly now don’t feel American enough.”
  – Carla Murthy ([18:39])

• On Everyday Kindness:

  “It was one act of kindness that completely changed the course of my father’s life … I would not exist if it weren’t for that one action.”
  – Carla Murthy ([21:55])

• On Why She Kept the Film’s Title:

  “…those are the people we see in our everyday lives … the immigrants who are being defined by their work. … This is my invitation to get to know someone that you probably see every day and have never asked them where they’re from. … we are more than our work and we’re not perfect either.”
  – Carla Murthy ([23:33])

Highlighted Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:22 – Carla discusses the origins of the film and the emotional motive for revisiting her father’s story.
• 04:28 – Insights on how her father’s perpetual job changes reflect his childhood survival tactics.
• 07:42–08:19 – The astonishing immigration story: a Texan couple’s act of kindness.
• 09:02–10:39 – Childhood loss, parental resilience, and the fabric of family memory.
• 14:36 – The revelation of debt incurred in Carla’s name and the wider reality of such familial issues.
• 18:39 – Exploration of identity and feeling "other" in diverse spaces.
• 19:44 – Carla’s guilt over distancing from her father during adulthood.
• 21:55 – The core message on the transformative power of kindness.
• 23:33 – Carla’s intention with the film’s title and appeal for empathy towards immigrants.

Summary Flow & Tone

The conversation is intimate, candid, and reflective, blending personal narrative with broader social commentary. Carla Murthy’s vulnerability in discussing her father’s flaws, her own struggles, and her family’s complex immigrant experience is central. The tone emphasizes empathy, the nuance of intergenerational survival, and the importance of recognizing the unseen humanity in all.

Conclusion

Carla Murthy’s The Gas Station Attendant invites viewers to question the realities and myths of the American Dream, see the full humanity behind every immigrant’s journey, and consider how ordinary kindness can change lives. It’s a testament to the beauty and complexity of family—and the stories we inherit, revisit, and ultimately, choose to tell.