B (2:43)

Sailing takes me way to where I love way.

A (2:52)

For the last month or so, a Royal Caribbean cruise embarking on a nine month long journey has captured attention of social media. Passengers on the cruise, which cheapest ticket is about $60,000, have been documenting their adventures around the world. And the hashtag ultimate world cruise has now racked up more than 300 million views on TikTok. Let's hear a sample from when the ship was near Antarctica. Hey guys, come with us through the Drake Passage and we ended up not getting the Drake Lake. We definitely got the Drake Shake.

B (3:26)

As you can see in these videos, with the wind and the wa, the.

A (3:30)

Ship is handling the rough seas well.

C (3:32)

And the crew is making sure to.

A (3:33)

Keep us comfortable, safe and entertained. Users are following passengers day to day on TikTok like they're characters on a reality show, including author John Green, whose mind, like a lot of people, might be changed because of cruise talk.

B (3:48)

Oh, I've never been on a cruise. Never had any desire to go on a cruise.

A (3:51)

Not a big fan of oceans, not.

B (3:53)

A big fan of boats. I'm not here to yuck on your yum. If you like going on cruises, that's great. But I've spent the last month not on a cruise, but on cruise Tik Tok. Specifically a nine month cruise, Tik Tok, which is where like 700 people are on a nine monon non stop Royal Caribbean cruise.

C (4:12)

I don't even really know how I ended up on this side of Tik.

B (4:15)

Tok, but I like it there. It's. It's like a reality show except it's real. But something weird has started to happen to me which is that I've started.

A (4:25)

To wonder do I want to go on a nine month cruise around the world? Cruises can be divisive. Some love the low friction family time, but others can't imagine being trapped with randos in the middle of the ocean. So for the next installment of our small stakes big opinion series, we're talking cruises and we want to hear your thoughts. Are you pro or anti cruise? Joining me for this conversation is comedian friend of the show Josh Gondelman, one time cruise taker. Hi Josh.

B (4:54)

Hello.

C (4:54)

Thank you for having me. I'm very excited to once again argue with your listeners.

A (4:59)

Listeners, we want to hear from you. Are you pro cruise, anti cruise, neutral on cruises? What are your opinion of cruises? Phone lines are open. 212-433-WNYC 212-433-9692. You can call in and join us on air or you can text us at that number or reach out on social media. Love it. Wnyc. If you've been on a cruise, share what you liked about it. Where have you been in any cruise tips for someone going on one or if you're on anti cruise, what turns you off? 2124-3396-9221-2433 wnyc or if you're one of the many, many, many people following this nine month cruise on social media, we'd love to hear your thoughts on that as well. As we said, small stakes, big opinions and I'm going to add no judgments to that as well. Okay. So Josh, thinking about cruises broadly, why do you think the idea of a cruise is attractive to some people?

C (5:58)

I think what you said earlier really puts, puts a finger on what's so appealing. You get a lot of stuff and it kind of takes the element of decision making and planning off your plate a little bit, which is really nice. I think if you're a person who wants to go on vacation but doesn't want to book a bunch of restaurants out of every single restaurant in a city or decide exactly where to go, this kind of gives you a chance to see the world a little bit, to have these experiences and kind of take your hands off the wheel, right? And let someone else, literally let someone else do the driving.

A (6:35)

I remember I talked to a mom about cruises once and she said, you know who gets a break on a cruise? Mama gets a break on a cruise because it's contained. You know where the kids are, they have tons of entertainment.

C (6:47)

I went on a Disney cruise for my father in law's birthday one year because it was a great place to bring his grandkids, my nieces and nephews and we had so much fun. Um, and it was, it was great for the kids, great for my brothers and sisters in law who have kids. It, it was a, because it was a Disney cruise, it did feel a little bit like being in a theme park. That is also a prison to me personally.

A (7:12)

Before, and it's interesting, the person I remember having this conversation with was somebody who, if you saw them, you think like, oh, she wouldn't, she wouldn't be someone who cruises, but she believed in it head to toe. Before you went on your cruise, what were your thoughts about cruises?

C (7:26)

I was a skeptic. I've been on two now and I still remain a skeptic because I think a lot of the things that are wonderful about cruises also exist on land with less norovirus, less seasickness, and more opportunity to leave when you're ready to leave. So that is kind of where I started from a place of like, what am I Going to get here that I can't get while standing on a ground that doesn't sway beneath me. So that was my initial skepticism.

A (7:59)

Let's take a call. Someone, a fellow former skeptic, Thomas calling in from Manhattan. Hey Thomas, thanks for calling in and joining the conversation.

B (8:07)

Great. Well, thank you. So, yes, I was a skeptic. Never thought that I would enjoy a cruise. 15 years ago or so. Some friends of mine convinced me to join them and I did because I knew I'd have flung with my friends. I shipped myself, it was Venice to Barcelona and I shipped myself a carton of books because I couldn't figure out what I was going to do on this boat for two weeks. Well, I never opened any of those books because it was always something happening. I had such a great time and I subsequently have gone on I think four or five other cruises.

A (8:40)

Wow, that is a great story and very telling that you didn't get to anything you expected to read. Thomas, thank you so much for, for calling in. Let's talk to Matthew calling in from Jackson Heights. Hi Matthew, thanks for joining our cruise conversation.

B (8:54)

Hi. I over the Christmas holiday was with a man who was a drummer on a band on a cruise ship and he told me the most amazing thing which I thought just couldn't believe it is there's people instead of going into nursing homes, they stay on cruise ships. It's cheaper, they just never leave. And I was like, what? There's lots of staff, there's doctors, they can get their meds. I mean it's like it was the weirdest thing to think that. I mean if you're relatively healthy, you get on the boat and you never leave. It's like, you know, it's like that's bizarre.

A (9:32)

Wild. That is a wild story.

C (9:36)

Wow. That feels, there's something about it that feels like it's like a nice cross of vacation and dystopia which I am into. Just like, just I gravitate towards those stories. Thank you.

A (9:51)

Have you ever, Josh, you know, a lot of cruises have. They have Broadway cruises, they have people who want history cruises, they have comedy cruises. A very well known comic who I adore is going to headline a comedy cruise. Have you ever been approached about being the entertainment?

C (10:10)

So I have. I once was on a cruise. Last year I went on the Joco cruise which is Jonathan Colton, the musician. A cruise that is all fans and they, he and his team like curate this. A ton of entertainers and authors and you know, other. There's a lot of fascinating people that are on it, both, both the performers and the just regular attendees. And that I thought was really fun because there was a community on this ship that like wouldn't exist a different place. And it kind of convenes for a week. And that was really fun. And it's very fun to be there as a performer where you, you get to work a little bit, you get to hang out a little bit. It scratches my itch to constantly be productive while also scratching my itch to do nothing and hide from people in a small cabin.

A (11:00)

My guest is Josh Gondelman. We are talking about cruises. It's another installment of our small stakes Big opinions series. If you have been on a cruise, let us know what the experience was like. If you're anti cruise, want to hear from you as well. Maybe you have tips for going on a cruise. If you have been on one and you say, hey, this is what you need to know. 2124-3396-9221-2433 wnyc. Let's get to a couple of texts. Cruises. Yuck. I can't imagine a worse way to spend my time than trapped on an environmentally disastrous ocean prison with a bunch of human beings being human. No thank you. This one says anti Ted Cruz neutral Tom Cruise pro, Penelope Cruise Brumching. And let's talk to Rita from Fairfield County, Connecticut. Hi, Rita, thanks for calling in.

B (11:49)

Hi. Hi. How are you? I love cruising. Took my first cruise about 27 years ago, but it was a real fight to get my husband on a cruise ship. And I was reading the New York Times one Sunday, saw a cruise leaving from New York to go to Bermuda. And I said to him, let's try this. We don't have to fly anywhere. We can just drive, hop on the ship. We're going to Bermuda. It's a quick trip. If you get on the ship. When we get to Bermuda, you hated it. We can hop off and just fly back. So I got him on that way. He was on the cruise ship for about two hours and realized all of the things that he could do on the cruise ship. He was a real, he's now passed, but he was a real tech nerd. And I mean all this stuff, trivia and all that stuff, he loved it. That was the first of many cruises that we took. And now that he's no longer with us, I have continued to do so because I find that I can see so much in a, you know, going place to place. I can unpack my suitcase. I can go wherever I'm going. I Don't have to lug the suitcase every day, hop on a bus and do all that stuff. I haven't done anything since the pandemic, but I can't wait to get back. I love cruising and so did he travel with me.

A (13:02)

I love Rita's energy, honestly.

C (13:04)

Yeah, I think that's beautiful. She also does highlight. I think that that's so wonderful and what a beautiful experience to have and to share and to get that to continue. I also think we really need some way to disambiguate the word cruising from people who spend time on ships, from people who have casual romantic encounters in wherever parks. Because not. Not to judge either one, just unless you're doing both. We need to sift those two words out.

A (13:34)

As I said in the. In the billboard when I was reading, it said cruising and I just put a little asterisk on a boat.

C (13:39)

Yeah, I think that is. That was very helpful of you because otherwise we get maybe some of the same callers, but certainly some different ones.

A (13:47)

Got a text. Watch the movie Triangle of Sadness and you will never want to go on a cruise in your life. Let's talk to Carol from White Plains, New York. Hi, Carol, thanks for calling in.

B (13:57)

Hi, Alison, how are you? Thank you so much. This is very interesting because I'm in the tour and travel business and I used to do. I didn't say this to who I spoke to, but I forgot. I used to do these. I lived in Europe. I did these cruises on the Rhine from Basel to Amsterdam or the opposite. And that was actually quite pleasant because it was a small boat and the stops were right there on land and you could get off and on all the time. And at night it was in a city. But ocean cruises, I find, are not really about seeing a place. They're just about, you know, being in this kind of floating hotel. I. Is that you buzzing me?

A (14:41)

Oh, Carol, thank you for calling in. That's some good advice from a travel professional, Dave. And Flatbush on Line 8 has some good advice as well. Let's take Dave if we can take Dave. Yeah, on line eight. There you go. Dave, you're on the air now. Yeah, go for it.

B (14:58)

All right, great. Well, yeah, I would just like to offer advice to anybody who's never been on a cruise. They have like three day cruises. So you can do a weekend cruise. You won't be away from home too long and, you know, you'll just get a taste of what cruise life is like. I've only been on one cruise my entire life. I went to a Caribbean cruise, and I believe it's the Princess of the Seas. I forgot who owns that ship liner. But I had a great time. The food was awesome. Buffets, I love to eat, so. And I get kind of greedy, too, so, I mean, you can have yourself every time you go. You can get, you know, sushi. You can get burgers, fries, wings, steaks, lobster, shrimp. Everything. Everything that, you know, a person would love to eat. I'm sure they have vegan options as well, but, yeah, I had a really great time going to. Went to Mexico. I went to Grand Cayman. I. I jumped in the water at Grand Cayman. I saw huge fish under the water. Got scared because I thought, you know, huge fish, then, you know, there's a huge creditor nearby.

C (16:06)

I don't know.

B (16:06)

But I have a great time.

A (16:10)

Thanks for calling in. Let's talk to Zoe from Long Island City. Hi, Zoe. Thanks for calling in.

B (16:18)

Oops.

A (16:18)

Zoe in line one. Yes, you're on the air. Go for it.

B (16:21)

Yes, hi. I love barge cruising in Europe because you're, you know, if you don't like a huge ship, which I don't, you're going with maybe eight to a dozen people. The food is fantastic. You're taking your chef with you. Like, when I was in Paris, we sat on the river, like, just before Christmas, and in the morning, they'd run out and get fresh croissant and make fresh orange juice. It's really quite wonderful. And you don't stay in any place too long if there's not a lot to see. Like, if it's a small village, maybe you'll stay half a day. If it's Amsterdam, maybe you'll be three days. So you can get off and on all the time. If you don't want to eat out, you know, you can always get three meals a day on the barge. And it's very relaxing, especially for people like me who are single and like to read or play Scrabble and, you know, look at the scenery go by. And going through the locks is really fun.

A (17:18)

I'm loving these conversations, Josh. We're getting the sense that not all cruises are created the same, and I.

C (17:25)

Think that that is helpful to remember. Right. There are some that are based around specific activities and group communities. There are some that are based on longer travel, some that are for people who just want to lay out and read, and some for people who will send themselves a crate of books that they never open. So I do appreciate that breadth of opportunity, and I will say bringing books that you never crack open On a trip that is an immensely relatable behavior to me. Specific.

A (17:56)

This text says, someone get Mike White on the line. Maybe the next season of the White Lotus should be on that nine month cruise. We're gonna talk about that nine month cruise after a quick break. This is all of it. This is all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart. We're having a little fun on this Friday as we ease into the weekend with another installment of our Small Stakes for Big Opinions series. We're talking about cruises. We're taking your calls. Our guest, Josh Gondelman, he's my ride along. Josh, guess what?

C (18:35)

What?

A (18:36)

We have somebody calling us who is actually on a cruise right now.

C (18:39)

This is huge.

A (18:41)

This is huge. Alan, are you there?

B (18:45)

I am here.

A (18:48)

Alan, where is here? Where are you near right now?

B (18:52)

Here is. We're pulling into Bora Bora tonight. I'm on about the 30th day of a 138 day cruise, started in December 20, ends May 6 and it started in Fort Lauderdale, ends May 6 in London. This is also the first cruise I've ever taken in my life. I never really wanted to take an ocean cruise, but the reason I did this is that the 58 ports, there's so many places I've never been before and looking forward to every one of them. And much to my surprise, the time at sea also is entertaining because I attend about four lectures a day. There are professors from all different fields related to subjects of this kind of travel. You know, the ocean, the animal life, the culture. And there's at least three or four lectures a day I go to and there's games to play and the food is fantastic. So I'm looking forward to the next hundred days.

A (20:02)

Dearest Alan, do you listen to WNYC while you're doing this trip generally, or is this just an accident?

B (20:11)

No, not only do I listen to it, I listen to it more than I do when I'm in New York City, which is home. Wow. I, I get it. I get it, clearly. And it's on all the time. There is no real television here. There's movies, but you know, I can listen to. I listen to you every day. I listen to Brian Lehrer every day.

A (20:36)

Well, Alan, I want to invite you to call us back at any time during your trip if you get homesick or you want to say hello or you went to an excellent lecture, you saw something fantastic. I'm going to have somebody give Alan the hotline number because I'm serious. I would like to check in with Alan on his trip. Alan, thank you so much for calling in.

B (20:54)

You bet. I'd love to check in with you.

A (20:57)

Love to have it happen.

C (20:59)

I love that Alan has gone from zero to just full sailor. Like he's, he's become a straight up pirate overnight.

A (21:09)

All right, the time has come to talk about this nine month cruise. So this has become this huge sensation on TikTok. People are sending clips of their trip. Apparently some of the tiktokers, some of the other members of the cruise have turned against some of the Tiktokers. What was your first reaction when you heard the story about a nine month cruise and started to check out some of the TikToks?

C (21:33)

So at first my thought, as it often is, was extreme pettiness and jealousy. My thought was, must be nice to get to take a nine month cruise. And it was even more than my reaction to the cruise itself. It was the idea of taking nine months to commit to something that loses you money, which is as a standup comedian I understand that in theory, but I can opt out of that at any time time in my life. So I was at first just. I rejected the premise of other people getting to do that. But it does feel like if you're going to go for a cruise, go all in nine months, Choose a life at sea. Right. Forsake the earth and, and leave the land behind. So I was like intrigued by what that means, what that does, whether people will come home changed. Yeah. I'm excited to see what the results of this are.

A (22:27)

You know, cruise romances apparently are a thing. I mean, we all know.

C (22:31)

Oh, wow.

A (22:32)

Yeah, we all, of course, remember the Love Boat did not know it was a documentary. What did you think? How did you. Why do you think cruises create conditions for romance?

C (22:44)

Well, it gets people close together with no options. Right. Which I think is sometimes why people get married right out of high school. And it's why people hook up on cruises. Right. You're like, well, this is the pool of available people, might as well jump in. And so I think the preconditions are there. Right. And you're. And you're trapped in extreme circumstances together which can also bond people.

B (23:09)

Right.

C (23:09)

You're out to sea, you're not coming back, you can't leave. And that there is kind of a tingly romance that springs forth from those feelings.

A (23:19)

All right, we've got a whole bunch of calls to get through, to go through. Let's talk to. I believe it is Edie. Hi, Edie.

B (23:26)

Hi. I just wanted to shout out this is mostly about big giant cruises, but I wanted to shout out the smaller ones. I once went on this cruise a number of years ago called the Hidden Isles of Greece. And it was a very small ship and I would call an Agatha Christie situation because there were literally only 20 rooms on it and we could pull into every berth or harbor of the islands that most big ships couldn't get into. And I was just waiting for a murder to happen.

C (24:03)

Yeah, I was going to say that if, if there's no murder, it's kind of appropriation to call it an Agatha Christie situation that is deeply problematic to me.

A (24:13)

This text. Hi, I was on the cruise from hell around South America to Fort Lauderdale at the very end of COVID I still like cruising because it's a chance to do enjoyable things while traveling to the locations I want to see. I've cruised all over the world. The travel to a cruise can be awful though. I was supposed to be on a Holland America flight from Singapore on Saturday for a month and Singapore Air canceled all my flights. So I decided just to cancel. Let's talk to Maura calling in from Long island, who is not that into cruises. Hi, Maura.

B (24:44)

Hello. Yeah, I formally scoffed at people who took cruises and I just got off a 28 day cruise in December and I could have stayed for 90 more. It was unbelievable. My husband and I have a rather large age difference and a rather large different threshold for activity. I like to do a lot. He likes to rest. Beautiful. Resting on a cruise, you look out at the ocean all day long. And I found a crew that I hung out with. You know, I found people who were doing the things I wanted to do. When he wanted to join me, he did. And it was the perfect match for us. It was the best vacation we've ever had.

A (25:23)

I love that you were a convert. First started out anti cruise, got turned around. Okay. Mimi from Staten island has quite a story. Mimi, go for it.

B (25:34)

Hi. Yeah, I think it was around 2006, my husband and I went on a Princess cruise. And keep in mind that their theme is escape completely. Because when we were coming home from Florida and the boat refuels at Cape Canaveral, just like looking at the map right, it's going to go out to sea and then go left. And as it banged the left turn, it almost capsized. No kidding. All of a sudden everything in the room just went crashing. Anything that wasn't tied down. My husband was holding me against the glass door and could see nothing but sky. And, and, and we were like One or two floors down from the swimming pools and they were pouring through the stairwells. It was wow.

A (26:31)

Nyc. Okay, so we got, we got Mimi, Mimi let go word that, you know what? If that had been my experience, I might have said that word as well.

C (26:46)

Just have to say you got a lot of the hook for that when you, when you think you're going to get thrown into the sea by a ship. I also one more thing about the nine month cruise that I hadn't considered before, right. We could put the whole circle of life on this cruise. We've got old people, right, that are, that are retiring to the sea. You could conceive and birth a baby on this nine month cruise. So it's kind of a lightning crashes scenario, right? You go maybe one in, one out. Not to be too bleak.

A (27:17)

Let's talk to Dennis from Great Neck on line five who has actually a little bit of advice for folks who are thinking, hey, maybe I'll go on a cruise. Dennis, thanks for calling in.

B (27:28)

Yes, just a tip. If you don't have mobility issues and you're on an ocean cruise, the best part of cruising, one of the best parts is certainly eating. And if you're worried about putting on a couple of pounds, what I always do is I never take an elevator on the cruise. I always take the stairs. So if you don't have a mobility and you can do it, that's one way to keep your weight in check and still you can just enjoy that food.

A (27:53)

Dennis, thanks for the advice. Brian on line three from Windsor Terrace. Hey Brian, thanks for calling in.

B (28:02)

Thanks for having me, Appreciate it. Hi Josh, this is actually Brian from Brooklyn Magazine. You've been on my Path podcast.

C (28:08)

Hey Brian, good, good to hear from you.

B (28:11)

Good to talk to you. Yeah, I wanted to tell a story about a cruise that I almost went on. My folks, this was like pre Internet days, I think it was a New Year's Eve cruise. We flew from California to Florida to get on our boat, I think to the Bahamas. We were the, my folks were the youngest people, not including my brother and I. And when they saw the people on the boat, when they saw their quarters and how tiny they were and when my dad realized he couldn't watch the Rose bowl on New Year's Day, we got off the boat before it left, went bowling and flew back to la.

A (28:55)

Wow, that is a decisive family. Brian, thanks for calling in.

C (29:00)

Incredible.

A (29:01)

You know, let's just pie in the sky here a little bit. Josh Gondelman, my guest who was talking about cruises, having been on A few. If you could improve an aspect or two of cruises, what would it be?

C (29:13)

That's a good question. I think it would. There would be fewer days where you're just on a ship where you can't see land. I think my ideal cruise would be to be on one of the continents as Pangea broke up. So it's just kind of slow moving and steady and you can, you can move around a little bit more than on a cruise. But I think that is it. I think to me the greatest part about the cruise is again, a sense of community, if that's what you're. You're seeking. And also you get to see a bunch of different places that without getting on a bunch of planes, you know, without schlepping stuff, as was stated earlier on a bus. So I think that to me is what appeals the most. It would be fewer days where you just kind of look off the side of the ship and you go, ah, more ocean. I guess I'm just a speck. And this is a terrifying vastness of our planet.

A (30:15)

Let's talk to Anne from Caldwell. Ann, I'm so glad you called in. Thanks for calling in.

B (30:20)

Oh, thank you. I'm amazed that I got through. Well, I've been on a few cruises and yes, they offer those wonderful things that your other guests have said, but as an environmentalist, I get really concerned about the impact of cruising. And there's a great website called Friends of the Earth and it goes through each cruise company and what they're doing and what they're not doing. And this gives you a perspective on how impactful cruising is. And my suggestion is that if you're going to take a cruise, why don't you think about donating or working for an environmental organization on land to counteract the impact that you're having on the ocean.

A (31:02)

Ann, thank you for calling in. Yeah, we had a lot of people texting us about the environmental impact. So I like that. Ann gave us a resource. So if people do want to go cruising and they want to on a boat and they want to do so knowing what's going on, that's a great resource. Friends of the Earth, I love that I.

C (31:22)

Working off your debt to the planet.

A (31:25)

Josh, we're coming to the end of our small stakes, big opinions. Any last thoughts on cruises before I ask you what you're working on?

C (31:33)

Oh, my gosh, I am. I think I've got it all out there. I think the big thing is, again, consider the impact on the environment. I think is wonderful advice, but also Consider what you want from a cruise, because like land, not every cruise experience is going to be the same. And so I think before you commit to a life at sea for three days, seven days, nine months, really figure out what you're getting into and if that's the direction you want the wind to blow your life in.

A (32:08)

And Josh, what are you working on?

C (32:10)

Oh, my gosh. Well, I just today announced that I am recording a new standup special at the Bell House in Brooklyn on June 21st. I'm on the road for a while, off and on until then. And I'm just really excited to share this new hour of material that I've been working on to record it and get it out in the world. And you can get tickets at my website, joshgondelman.com or@thebellhouseny.com love.

A (32:36)

We've got some Josh Gondelman breaking news this hour. That is very exciting.

C (32:40)

Thank you.

A (32:41)

Thanks to everybody who called in with some big opinions about some small stakes. And of course, thanks to Josh Gondelman. Josh, thank you for being with.

C (32:49)

Thanks for having me.

A (32:50)

And whether you go on cruise for relaxation, for fun, or even for a little romance.

B (33:00)

Love, exciting and new. Come aboard. We're expecting you. Life's sweetest reward. Let it flow it floats back to you.

A (33:36)

Soon we'll be making another run.

B (33:40)

I don't mean to interrupt your meal.

C (33:41)

But I saw you from across a.

B (33:42)

Cafe and you're the Geico Gecko, right?

A (33:44)

In the flesh.

B (33:45)

Oh, my goodness.

C (33:47)

This is huge.

B (33:47)

To finally meet you. I love Geico's fast and friendly claim service.

A (33:51)

Well, that's how Geico gets 97 customer satisfaction.

B (33:54)

Anyway, that's all.

C (33:56)

Enjoy the rest of your food.

A (33:57)

No worries. So are you just gonna watch me eat?

C (34:00)

Oh, sorry. Just a little starstruck. I'll be on my way.

A (34:04)

If you're gonna stick around, just pull up a chest. You're the best.

B (34:08)

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