Podcast Summary:

Podcast: All Of It
Host: Alison Stewart (WNYC)
Episode: “Have You Ever Been on a Cruise? (Small Stakes, Big Opinions)”
Date: January 18, 2024

Overview

This episode of “All Of It” features a lively segment in the “Small Stakes, Big Opinions” series, examining the divisive topic of cruises. Prompted by the viral phenomenon of Royal Caribbean’s nine-month “Ultimate World Cruise,” Alison Stewart invites comedian (and cruise veteran) Josh Gondelman and a variety of listeners to weigh in on the pros and cons of ocean and river cruising. The discussion explores personal stories, the appeal of hassle-free travel, environmental impacts, and even the unexpected social dynamics that emerge at sea.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Appeal (& Discomfort) of Cruises

[05:58]

• Josh Gondelman explains: Cruises are attractive because they simplify vacation planning—"You get a lot of stuff... it kind of takes the element of decision making and planning off your plate a little bit, which is really nice."
• Alison recounts how a parent told her that cruises are the ultimate break, especially for mothers—contained space, plenty of entertainment for kids, and less stress.

[06:47]

• Josh shares his family experience on a Disney cruise. While excellent for kids, he jokes:

  • “It did feel a little bit like being in a theme park. That is also a prison to me personally.” (Josh Gondelman, 07:01)

• Alison notes the surprise that “cruise people” don’t always fit the stereotype.

[07:26]

• Josh admits being a cruise skeptic – worried about seasickness, norovirus, and the inability to leave.
  • "A lot of the things that are wonderful about cruises also exist on land with less norovirus, less seasickness, and more opportunity to leave when you're ready to leave." (07:32)

Listener Stories: Converts, Skeptics, and Unique Perspectives

• Thomas from Manhattan shares how he shipped himself a carton of books on his first cruise, thinking he’d be bored, but had too much fun to read.

  • “I shipped myself a carton of books because I couldn't figure out what I was going to do on this boat for two weeks. Well, I never opened any of those books because it was always something happening. I had such a great time…” (Thomas, 08:12-08:40)

• Matthew from Jackson Heights relays a bizarre cruise fact: some retirees move onto cruise ships instead of nursing homes for cost, care, and convenience.

  • Alison: “Wild. That is a wild story.” (09:32)
  • Josh: “There's something about it that feels like it's like a nice cross of vacation and dystopia which I am into.” (09:36)

Themed Cruises & Performance at Sea

[10:10]

• Josh details performing on Jonathan Coulton’s “JoCo Cruise”:
  • “There's a community on this ship that like wouldn't exist a different place. And it kind of convenes for a week. And that was really fun… You get to work a little bit, you get to hang out a little bit… scratching my itch to do nothing and hide from people in a small cabin.” (10:13-11:00)

Hot Takes: Listeners Sound Off

• Text Message: "Cruises. Yuck. I can't imagine a worse way to spend my time than trapped on an environmentally disastrous ocean prison…" (11:37)

• Text Joke: "Anti Ted Cruz, neutral Tom Cruise, pro Penelope Cruz. Brumching." (11:43)

• Rita from Connecticut: Persuaded her skeptical husband to cruise from NY to Bermuda—he became a fan, and she continues to cruise to this day because of the ease and mobility.

  • "That was the first of many cruises that we took. And now that he's no longer with us, I have continued to do so because I find that I can see so much..." (12:13-13:02)
  • Alison: “I love Rita’s energy, honestly.” (13:02)

• Carol from White Plains, NY (tour professional): Prefers small river cruises in Europe for the ability to disembark easily, versus “floating hotels” of ocean cruising. (13:57-14:41)

Pro Tips & More Perspectives

• Dave from Flatbush: Advises cruise-curious to try a quick 3-day weekend cruise. Loved the food variety, though was startled by large fish on a snorkeling stop! (14:58-16:10)

• Zoe from Long Island City: Champions small-group barge cruising in Europe—great food, small crowds, relaxing, good for readers and solo travelers. (16:21-17:18)

• Josh: “We're getting the sense that not all cruises are created the same… There are some that are based around specific activities... some that are for people who just want to lay out and read…” (17:18-17:25)

The Appeal of the Epic “Ultimate World Cruise”

[18:35]

• Alan calls in from aboard a cruise ship—pulling into Bora Bora: It's his first cruise ever, 138 days, from Fort Lauderdale to London, with 58 ports:

  • “I never really wanted to take an ocean cruise... but much to my surprise, the time at sea also is entertaining because I attend about four lectures a day... and the food is fantastic. So I'm looking forward to the next hundred days.” (19:02-20:02)

• Alan listens to WNYC more at sea than he ever did at home and is invited to call back with updates:

  • “No, not only do I listen to it, I listen to it more than I do when I'm in New York City, which is home.” (20:11)

• Josh on Alan’s transformation:

  • “I love that Alan has gone from zero to just full sailor. Like he's... become a straight up pirate overnight.” (20:59)

Social Dynamics, Romances & Cruise Subcultures

[21:09]

• Alison and Josh discuss how the nine-month cruise has become a “social media reality show,” with passengers documenting daily life—some TikTokers clashing with fellow cruisers.

  • Josh: “At first my thought... was extreme pettiness and jealousy. My thought was, must be nice to get to take a nine month cruise.” (21:33)
  • “If you're going to go for a cruise, go all in: nine months, choose a life at sea... I'm excited to see what the results of this are.” (21:53)

• On cruise romances:

  • Alison: “We all, of course, remember The Love Boat did not know it was a documentary.” (22:32)
  • Josh: “It gets people close together with no options… This is the pool of available people, might as well jump in.” (22:44-23:09)

• Edie calls about “Agatha Christie” style micro-cruising in Greece: Just 20 rooms, able to dock at tiny islands; “I was just waiting for a murder to happen.” (23:26-24:03)

  • Josh: “If there’s no murder, it’s kind of appropriation to call it an Agatha Christie situation.” (24:03-24:13)

Cautionary Tales and Conversion Stories

• Maura from Long Island: Used to scoff at cruises, then went on a 28-day cruise and loved it so much she could have stayed for 90 more. She and her husband, with different energy levels, both found happiness. (24:44-25:23)

• Mimi from Staten Island: Shares a harrowing near-capsize experience on a Princess cruise. “All of a sudden everything in the room just went crashing... We were like one or two floors down from the swimming pools and they were pouring through the stairwells.” (25:34-26:31)

• Josh jokes about life's extremes on the nine-month cruise: “You could conceive and birth a baby on this nine month cruise. So it's kind of a lightning crashes scenario…” (26:46-27:17)

Pro Tips & The Environmental Impact

• Dennis from Great Neck: Eat what you want—just never take the elevator, always the stairs, and you can keep your weight in check. (27:28-27:53)

• Ann from Caldwell: Raises the environmental impacts of cruising and offers a resource:

  • "Friends of the Earth... goes through each cruise company and what they're doing... My suggestion is... why don't you think about donating or working for an environmental organization on land to counteract the impact..." (30:20-31:02)
  • Alison notes multiple texters concerned about cruise-related pollution and gives a shout out to the resource. (31:02-31:22)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It did feel a little bit like being in a theme park. That is also a prison to me personally.” (Josh Gondelman, 07:01)
• "I shipped myself a carton of books because I couldn't figure out what I was going to do on this boat for two weeks. Well, I never opened any of those books because it was always something happening." (Thomas, 08:12)
• "Some retirees move onto cruise ships instead of nursing homes for cost, care, and convenience." (Matthew, 08:54)
• “Cruises. Yuck. I can't imagine a worse way to spend my time than trapped on an environmentally disastrous ocean prison with a bunch of human beings being human.” (Listener text, 11:37)
• "The best part of cruising, one of the best parts is certainly eating... I never take an elevator on the cruise. I always take the stairs. So if you don't have a mobility and you can do it, that's one way to keep your weight in check and still you can just enjoy that food." (Dennis, 27:28)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:43] – Social media sensation: the nine-month "Ultimate World Cruise"
• [05:58] – Why cruises appeal to people & vacation decision fatigue
• [07:26] – Gondelman admits his skepticism, cites norovirus & lack of freedom
• [08:07] – Thomas: From skeptic to cruise convert
• [09:32] – Radical idea: retirees living on cruise ships instead of nursing homes
• [10:10] – Josh as cruise performer on the JoCo Cruise
• [11:49] – Rita retells how she converted her husband & keeps cruising
• [13:57] – Carol: differences between river and ocean cruises
• [16:21] – Zoe: the charm of European barge sailing
• [18:39] – Alan calls in from day 30 of a world cruise near Bora Bora
• [21:33] – Reactions to the viral nine-month cruise & social media dynamics
• [22:44] – Why cruise ships foster romantic connections
• [25:34] – Mimi’s near-capsizing story on a Princess cruise
• [27:28] – Pro tip: Take the stairs, not the elevator, to offset indulgent eating
• [30:20] – The environmental footprint of cruises & “Friends of the Earth” resource

Final Thoughts

• Josh Gondelman’s advice: Consider what you want in a cruise—there’s a wide spectrum from giant floating resorts to tiny, activity-based journeys. And, crucially, consider your environmental impact: “Before you commit to a life at sea for three days, seven days, nine months, really figure out what you're getting into and if that's the direction you want the wind to blow your life in.” (Josh, 31:33)
• Ann suggests supporting environmental causes to offset cruise travel impact.
• Listeners display a wide range of experiences: from horror stories to life-changing connections, practical tips, cultural observations, and humor throughout.

Conclusion

The episode’s open phone lines and witty banter underscore that thoughts on cruising are as varied as New Yorkers themselves. The discussion highlights not only the logistical allure of cruises, but also their unexpected roles as stages for personal transformation, community building, and even social media drama. The conversation ends with a call for thoughtful travel—know your ship, your goals, and your footprint before taking to the seas.