Podcast Summary: "How To Deal With Other Theatergoers' Bad Etiquette"

Podcast: All Of It (WNYC)
Host: Alison Stewart
Guest: Larry Smiglesky (Production Stage Manager & Therapist for "Mamma Mia")
Date: January 13, 2026

Overview

This episode of All Of It explores the challenges of bad etiquette among theatergoers, sparked by a viral incident at a performance of "Mamma Mia." Host Alison Stewart welcomes Larry Smiglesky—production manager, therapist, and eyewitness to the altercation—for an in-depth conversation about what’s changing in theater audiences, why it matters, and how to restore respect in shared cultural spaces. The conversation is joined by performers, audience members, and listeners sharing their frustrations, insights, and hopes for a more empathetic culture at the theater.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Viral "Mamma Mia" Incident

• Summary of the Event (02:04 - 03:33):
  Larry describes an incident where a man, attending "Mamma Mia" with his wife and nieces, confronted a group of women who were repeatedly disruptive—singing loudly, using profanity, and behaving bizarrely even after multiple polite requests to quiet down. The confrontation escalated during intermission, was caught on video, and ended with security removing the disruptive group.
• Media & Perception (03:33 - 05:19):
  • Larry notes that the video, out of context, first painted the man as aggressive, but public opinion shifted once the backstory (his attempts at civility, the length of disruption, the impact on his teenage nieces) emerged.
  • Quote:
    "His humanity was what was missing in the original take on this story... when you see the full video, there's a kindness to his behavior that I think all of a sudden started to resonate with people." — Larry Smiglesky (04:36)

2. Breakdown of Theater Etiquette – Causes & Theories

• Etiquette Erosion (05:19 - 07:21):
  • Larry, reacting to a flood of Reddit opinions, cites the COVID-19 pandemic as a major turning point: time spent in isolation watching theater at home blurred the lines between private and public consumption.
  • Many now feel a participatory ownership over shows from repeated home viewing, which doesn't translate to the “shared experience” ethic of live theater.
  • Quote:
    “People started to believe [the show] was something they were a part of... the experience of sitting in a theater is very different than watching a movie at your house.” — Larry Smiglesky (06:15)
• Not Just New York (08:17 - 09:34):
  • Larry dispels the idea that this is a uniquely New York problem, citing bad etiquette on tours across the U.S., save for notably polite Canadian audiences.
  • The conversation is “heightened” in New York due to tourist vs. local blame-shifting.
  • Quote:
    “Any human can be at fault, wherever your address is.” — Larry Smiglesky (08:57)

3. The Social Contract of Theater

• Empathy and Disruption (09:41 - 10:45):
  • Larry underscores that live theater relies on audience-cast connection; disruption breaks the collective empathy and learning that makes theater meaningful.
  • Quote:
    “If you are distracting other audience members, you’re breaking that relationship... the experience of theater is gone.” — Larry Smiglesky (09:57)

4. Listener & Performer Perspectives

• Calls & Texts (11:21 - 17:04):
  • General frustration: “We pay too much to be forced to endure people who don't know how to behave outside their own living rooms...”
  • DJ (caller): Previously, simple requests for quiet were respected—now, they often lead to aggression.
  • Marca (actor): Outdoor theater has seen children run onstage, with parents unconcerned; she notes a broader decline in parental discipline and generational compassion.
  • Matthew (comedian): Social media and shrinking attention spans are encouraging more frequent and less appropriate audience participation (heckling/interaction).
• Generational Shifts & Parenting (17:04 - 19:23):
  • Larry traces some effects to Gen Z's experience of COVID-related losses, plus adult efforts to compensate. He references The House of Yes: “what happens if you’re never told no.”
  • Social media’s role: audience-filmed disruptions can be misinterpreted and serve more as clout-seeking than genuine discussion.

5. Guidelines & Gray Areas

• When is Participation OK? (20:01 - 20:59):

  • Singing along is acceptable only when explicitly invited by the cast (e.g., designated finale singalongs).
  • Otherwise, audience participation should not undermine the performers’ efforts or other patrons’ experiences.
  • Quote:
    “Otherwise, unless there’s sort of a sing-along moment... no, there’s not.” — Larry Smiglesky (20:55)

• Handling Mild Disruptions (e.g., Swaying, Toe-Tapping) (21:04 - 22:34):

  • Minor, non-intrusive movement can be fine, but be mindful of physical blocking or becoming a distraction for nearby patrons. Respectful dialogue—delivered kindly—can resolve most minor issues.

• The "I Paid for My Ticket, I Have Rights" Argument (22:34 - 23:26):

  • Larry firmly rejects the idea that price of admission grants behavioral latitude, reiterating the communal nature of theater.
  • Quote:
    “Theater is not based upon the amount of money you give gives you more power... it again goes back to human connection.” — Larry Smiglesky (22:55)

6. The Role of Ushers and Theater Staff

• Ushers as "Unsung Heroes" (12:18 - 14:56):
  • Ushers’ jobs have become more difficult post-cellphones; it’s tough to balance avoiding wider disruption with correcting bad behavior. Ushers shouldn’t have to become enforcers.
  • Audiences should summon ushers/security as soon as problems arise, not after escalation.
  • Quote:
    “Part of the problem is sometimes you don't know it's a problem until after it's been a problem.” — Larry Smiglesky (13:31)
• Advice for Patrons: If behavior is truly disruptive, discreetly notify staff early.

7. Alcohol, Cell Phones, and Modern Annoyances

• Alcohol Sales and Sippy Cups (24:53 - 26:30):
  • Increasing alcohol sales (“sippy cups”) are cited as exacerbating the problem; the culture around drinking before or during performances is more pronounced and often leads to escalations.
  • Respect for Performers:
    • Catcalling (particularly in shows where cast are scantily clad) and phone usage are increasingly frequent issues. Both are called out as disrespectful to both performers and audience.

8. Empathy and Navigating Gray Areas

• Navigating Emotional Responses (27:41 - 28:45):
  • Audience members recount being quietly moved to tears or inadvertently bothersome to others. The key is kindness on all sides—communicate and respond empathetically.
  • Quote:
    “To be moved like that and to have that support... that’s the joy of theater... If we could just all share that experience together, how amazing would that be?” — Larry Smiglesky (28:14)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “People started to believe it was something that they were a part of... the experience of sitting in a theater is very different than watching a movie at your house.”
  Larry Smiglesky (06:15)

• “Any human can be at fault, wherever your address is.”
  Larry Smiglesky (08:57)

• “If you are a person that's breaking that connection for others, then the experience of theater is gone.”
  Larry Smiglesky (09:57)

• “Ushers shouldn't have to be policemen and women... they're there to help you safely get to your seat and assist you in the theater.”
  Larry Smiglesky (13:02)

• On handling disputes:
  “I think as long as you do it in a way that's not mean spirited, I think it's totally fine to say, ‘Sir, your watch is going off.’”
  Larry Smiglesky (24:05)

• On audience joy vs. disruption:
  “It really is trying to find the balance between joy and going too far... I want you to have this great experience, but I need you to just understand when it goes a little too far.”
  Larry Smiglesky (24:53)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Incident Recap & "Mamma Mia" Context – 02:04
• Why Did This Go Viral? – 03:46
• Post-COVID Etiquette Changes – 05:31
• Tourist vs. Local Blame Game – 08:17
• Why Respect Matters in Theater – 09:41
• Listener & Performer Calls Begin – 11:21
• The Role of Ushers – 12:18
• Performer and Comedian Call-ins on Participation – 15:03, 16:31
• Singing Along Etiquette – 20:01
• "I Paid for My Ticket" Argument – 22:34
• Handling Tech & Alcohol Distractions – 23:26, 24:53
• Empathy in Emotional Responses – 27:41
• Closing Reflections – 28:45

Tone & Style

Throughout, the tone is frank, empathetic, and focused on building understanding. Larry is thoughtful, balancing his experience as a therapist and stage manager. Alison facilitates with warmth and welcomes diverse perspectives, including sometimes oppositional listener calls.

Key Takeaways

• The decline in theater etiquette is a widespread, multifaceted issue exacerbated by pandemic isolation, changes in media consumption, generational shifts, and technology.
• Respect for performers, staff, and fellow audience members is essential for a fulfilling theater experience.
• Empathetic communication, early intervention by staff, and a culture of mutual consideration are needed to restore civility and joy to live performances.
• Everyone—audience, performers, staff—plays a role in shaping the shared cultural space of the theater.