How to Host a Dinner Party Your Guests Will Never Forget

Summary

Podcast Summary: All Of It — “How to Host a Dinner Party Your Guests Will Never Forget”

Host: Koosha Navadar (WNYC)
Guest: Catherine Lewin (Founder of Big Night)
Date: June 20, 2024

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Overview of the Episode

This episode dives into the art of hosting memorable dinner parties, focusing on lowering stress, fostering connection, and embracing imperfection. Host Koosha Navadar welcomes Catherine Lewin, the owner of Big Night (a NYC dinner party essentials shop) and author of Big Night Dinners: Parties and Dinner Parties. Catherine shares her philosophy and practical advice, callers chime in with stories and tips, and together they capture the magic and reality of gathering people for a meal.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origin of Big Night and Dinner Party Philosophy

• Pandemic Inspiration: Catherine started Big Night after witnessing how the pandemic increased home cooking but isolated people from communal meals. When gatherings returned, she saw a hunger for intentional, meaningful parties.
  • “I started thinking about dinner parties as one of those experiences we were going to be so excited to have once it was safe enough to do so.” — Catherine Lewin (04:16)
• Defining a “Big Night”: Not just elaborate dinners—any meal or gathering made special by intention.
  • “A big night is any night or moment… that you choose to really take a moment to make feel like an occasion to feel special.” — Catherine Lewin (05:51)
  • It could be a Wednesday pizza with wine and a salad: intention is what counts.

2. Lowering Barriers and Managing Stress

• Normalize Imperfection: NY apartments are small, people get tired, and life is messy—embrace it!
  • “Normalize the social nap, everyone.” — Koosha Navadar (08:49)
  • Catherine encourages hosts to step away (“social nap”) if overwhelmed and sees this as necessary self-care.
• Planning & The ‘Hosting Timeline’: Mapping out tasks in advance reduces last-minute rush.
  • “I’m also a really big fan of something that I call the hosting timeline… a schedule of everything that needs to get done before your guests arrive.” — Catherine Lewin (09:04)
  • Break down chores: cooking, cleaning, shopping, showering—handwrite checklists.

3. Practical Party Strategies & Recipes

• Do-Ahead Dishes: Make as much as possible in advance. Her cookbook notes which steps can be prepped early.
• Snack Boards & Appetizers: Start with great olive oil, tinned fish, and simple but elevated dips.
  • “Even a store-bought dip can be an incredible dish if you put it in a beautiful bowl and drizzle it with delicious olive oil.” — Catherine Lewin (13:33)
  • Tinned fish (sardines, anchovies, smoked trout) can be served straight from the tin or used in quick dips.
• Crowd-Pleaser Recipes:
  • Paella: A caller recommends paella for large groups—it’s scalable, impressive, and easy to prep.
  • Mango Salad: Another caller loves salads with vibrant mango for a colorful, easy dish.
  • Chicken Marbella & “Frosty Tofu”: Host dishes that can sit at room temp and require little babysitting.

4. Hosting for Larger Groups & Small Spaces

• Scale Adjustments:
  • Over 10–12 people? Use snack boards or buffet-style setups instead of a formal sit-down meal (16:53).
  • Embrace NY living: people can sit anywhere, even on the floor.
  • “What matters is that we're together and we're enjoying the food… Let's take advantage of every corner of this apartment.” — Catherine Lewin (17:45)

5. Delegation and Co-Hosting

• Ask for Specific Help: Don’t bear all the work yourself—assign tasks! (eg: bringing sides, ice, drinks)
  • “I rely on my guests and my friends to have a hand, and I will ask specifically for what I need.” — Catherine Lewin (19:19)
• Partner Power: Divide labor with co-hosts, roommates, and family so hosting stays joyful.

6. Time Management and Social Dynamics

• Messy Kitchens & Ongoing Cooking: Catherine suggests the “hosting timeline” and prioritizing dishes that can be made or prepped ahead as much as possible (20:32).
• Facilitating Connection:
  • Strategic seating (place cards can be old-fashioned but effective).
  • Interactive stations: DIY bars (cocktails, spritzes, even BLTs) create moments for guests to mingle.
  • “I love to create a moment for people to put together their own drink or bite… It also gives people an opportunity to be gathered around one place…” — Catherine Lewin (22:18)

7. Hosting Rules & Mindset Shifts

• Catherine’s Top Hosting Rules (not all 13 listed):
  • You don’t have to serve a formal dinner for it to count.
  • Store-bought elements are OK—just serve them with care.
  • Focus on hospitality and connection, not perfection.
• Caller Wisdom:
  • “Those who want to help, help. Those who don't want to help, ask.” — Quoted by Julian in Northville, NJ (22:33)
  • Assign even small or late-night tasks to willing helpers.

8. Why Dinner Parties Matter

• Creating Space for Genuine Connection:
  • Hosting at home allows people to relax, linger, and connect in ways that dining out cannot.
  • “Dinner parties are a place where time kind of stops for a minute in a way that it doesn’t when we’re out and about on the town… It really makes for a magical evening.” — Catherine Lewin (27:34)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Normalize the social nap." — Koosha Navadar (08:49)
• "A big night is any moment… that you choose to make feel like an occasion." — Catherine Lewin (05:51)
• “I rely on my guests… and I will ask specifically for what I need.” — Catherine Lewin (19:19)
• “Dinner parties are a place where time kind of stops for a minute… It really makes for a magical evening.” — Catherine Lewin (27:34)
• “Those who want to help, help. Those who don’t want to help, ask.” — Julian, caller (22:33)
• Paella as a “one-pot showstopper for your guests.” — Amy, caller (11:10)

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Caller Highlights & Practical Tips

• Amy (Brooklyn): Go-to party dish: paella; recommends prepping and plating ahead, and setting tables early (10:54–11:54).
• Helene (South Brunswick): Quick, colorful salad tip: arrange cucumbers and chopped mango for a vibrant, easy appetizer (12:06–12:58).
• Eric (Maplewood): Hosts 50-person Swedish midsummer parties; makes gravlax, aquavit, and more—adapts setup to scale (15:49–16:53).
• Donna (Long Island): Easy protein dishes (Chicken Marbella, frosty tofu) that sit well at room temp and satisfy meat-eaters and vegetarians (24:36–27:15).

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:26 – Show intro, Koosha introduces Catherine and the Big Night origin story
• 04:24 – Catherine’s inspiration for Big Night and what qualifies as a “big night”
• 05:51 – The power of intent in gatherings
• 07:35 – Addressing hosting stress as an introvert
• 08:49 – The “social nap” idea
• 09:04 – Make-ahead tips & the hosting timeline
• 10:51 – Amy in Brooklyn: paella, early table-setting
• 12:06 – Helene: quick, colorful mango salad tip
• 13:33 – Catherine on snack board essentials and tinned fish
• 15:44 – Eric: Swedish midsummer party for 50; scaling and space
• 17:45 – Hosting in small apartments, embracing imperfection
• 19:19 – Delegating and sharing hosting duties
• 20:16 – Molly: time management, social dynamics, seating, interactive bars
• 22:33 – Julian: advice for guests offering help
• 23:51 – Catherine’s most important hosting rules
• 24:36 – Donna: crowd-pleaser recipes and party flow
• 27:34 – Why dinner parties matter: deeper connection
• 28:29 – Closing thoughts, book mention

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Overall Tone and Takeaways

Friendly, practical, and non-judgmental. Both host and guest emphasize lowering stress, maximizing hospitality, and making dinner parties about connection rather than perfection or performance. The episode brims with real-life wisdom—normalize small spaces, naps, messy kitchens, and store-bought dips—as long as the intention is genuine. The audience is encouraged to contribute and find joy in every kind of gathering.

Key message:
You don’t need to be a professional chef or have a perfect apartment to create meaningful, unforgettable dinner parties—intentionality and a spirit of connection make any night a “big night.”

Transcript

[Koosha Navadar]

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[Catherine Lewin]

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[Koosha Navadar]

Grayscale has been educating investors on crypto for over a decade. Grayscale invest in your share of the future. Investing involves risk and possible loss of principle. Visit grayscale.com for more information. All right, coming up, a new documentary tells the forgotten story of a historic Women's World cup tournament. That's in a little bit, but right after this, we're gonna get the summer season and how to host parties and dinner parties. Kathryn Lewin is the owner of Big Night, a local dinner party essential shop. She's gonna come on to talk about her new book and we'll take your calls about how to do dinner parties. Well, stay with us.

[Catherine Lewin]

It's been 10 years since Cliven Bundy staged an armed standoff over control of federal public land. He was never convicted. He's still free today.

[Koosha Navadar]

The fact that people can break the law with impunity, that is a serious problem for the very fabric of our society.

[Catherine Lewin]

So why does Cliven Bundy appear to be above the law? I'm Mary Louise Kelley. That question on All Things CONSIDERED from.

[Koosha Navadar]

NPR news today at 4 on WNYC. WNYC is supported by Kara Moore in.

[Catherine Lewin]

Katona, New York, presenting the Jazz at.

[Koosha Navadar]

Lincoln Center Orchestra with Wynton Marsalis this Saturday. Shuttle service from the Katona Metro North.

[Catherine Lewin]

Station available ticketsaramore.org Little island this summer presenting a full season of world premieres, dance, music, theater and opera created and performed by such artists as Twyla Tharp, Anthony Roth, Costanzo, and many more. [e-mail] WNYC and New Jersey Public Radio are supported in part by the Fund for New Jersey working to improve public policy and civic engagement in the Garden State.

[Caller or Guest]

WNYC Independent Journalism in the Public Interest.

[Catherine Lewin]

93.9 FM and AMA 20 NPR News.

[Caller or Guest]

And the New York Conversation.

Foreign.

[Koosha Navadar]

This is all of it on wnyc. I'm Koosha Navadar. Thanks for being with us today. Even with the heat right now, how many of us will be hosting or attending a dinner party soon? Dinner parties are a staple of a New York summer. I love them. But planning a dinner party can be stressful. I mean, how many appetizers should I put out? Can I really make all this food in one night?

[Caller or Guest]

What?

[Koosha Navadar]

What if the AC stops working? Do I need to get everybody some personal fans? My next guest, Catherine Lewin, loves dinner parties and has some tips to help plan what she calls big nights. Lewin is the founder of Big Night, a dinner party essential shop in Greenpoint and the West Village. And now she's written a new book all about dinner parties and how to make sure the one that you're hosting this summer is the best of the season. The book is called Big Night Dinners Parties and Dinner Parties, and Kathryn Lew is with me in the studio to take your calls. Katherine, welcome to wnyc.

[Catherine Lewin]

I'm so happy to be here.

[Koosha Navadar]

So, you know you opened your store Big Night after the pandemic, right? First in Greenpoint and now in a second location in the West Village. What's the, what's the origin story of opening up a brick and mortar shop like that?

[Catherine Lewin]

We actually opened kind of mid Pandemic in August of 2021. So the origin story is that in the pandemic, I was watching people cooking more than ever. Like, remember when people were growing scallions and baking bread and cooking really elaborately because what else was there to do, really? And it just struck me how much we were cooking and yet not able to gather and share those meals with people beyond our intimate pandemic pod? And I started thinking about dinner parties as one of those experiences we were going to be so excited to have once it was safe enough to do so. So that the idea for a dinner party shop was really something that kind of came to me in that moment. And very long story short, it rattled around in my head for a couple of months until I saw the storefront kind of staring at me one day around the corner from my house and it just hit me like a lightning bolt and I called the broker's number on the window. And again, a long story, but the rest is history.

[Koosha Navadar]

That's wonderful. And you know, for the purposes of your store, but also the book, how do you define a big night?

[Catherine Lewin]

A big night is any night or really moment. Because we can also have big days, big lunches that you choose to really take a moment to make feel like an occasion to feel special. And I think what's really important to me to stress is an occasion does not need to be a coursed dinner for 10 people sitting at your dinner table. It can be a Wednesday night. Hey, we haven't seen each other in a while. Come over for take out pizza. I'm gonna buy a bottle of wine I'm excited about and make a simple salad. And it's really about that sort of intentional decision to gather people and make an occasion, even if the occasion is Wednesday night.

[Koosha Navadar]

Right, the intent.

[Catherine Lewin]

The intent is important. Yeah.

[Koosha Navadar]

Intent and community. Well, speaking of intent and community, I feel like it's a great segue because listeners, we want to hear from you too. Are you hosting a dinner party soon? Are there any last minute questions that, that we, and by we, I mean Catherine, can help to try to answer, like how much ice should I have? Or what kind of appetizers should I serve my guests? Give us a call, send us a text. We're at 212-433-9692. That's 212-433-WNYC, if you're listening. Are you somebody who likes to host dinner parties? If you are, what's your go to dish that's super convenient but also impresses your guests. That sounds really cool. What tips do you have to manage hosting stress that maybe you want to share with us? 212-433-9692. That's 212-433-WNYC. I just talked about managing stress, and I think this might be a block for a lot of people that want to, you know, have an intent, have a big night. Am I right that you identify as an intro?

[Catherine Lewin]

I do. I do. I am definitely an introvert who loves being around people. But the stress that you're talking about, part of that is social stress of like, okay, I'm hosting people in my home, which means I'm gonna have them over for, you know, two or three good hours. And for me, my back pocket solution for any social fatigue, shall we say, is something I like to call the social nap, which is the inevitable moment of any dinner party when I kind of slink off quietly to my bedroom, shut off all the lights and just lay horizontally for like 10 minutes. And that is the reset that sets me up to really put my best foot forward for the rest of the party. Big fan of the social nap.

[Koosha Navadar]

I once hosted a party recently, last summer actually, where one of my friends said, I'm pretty tired. And so we just let him nap in our bedroom. And then he came back and he was totally fresh. And I wish that was more accepted at parties because it would help everybody just feel a little better, I think.

[Catherine Lewin]

Exactly. And especially in New York, people want to hang late. Like, you know, when you, when you're hosting, first of all, you've put all this effort into your spread. And summer nights are long, the sun stays up, and sometimes, you know, the party's going for five, six hours. It's completely understandable that one might want to take a little to, um. So don't be afraid to social nap.

[Koosha Navadar]

Normalize the social nap, everyone. Uh, you know, another stressful part of hosting is the cooking, especially if you try to do it all in one day. So how can you make, how can you manage making dishes ahead of time to, to ease the hosting the night of. Any tips for that?

[Catherine Lewin]

Yeah. So one of my biggest pieces of advice is as much as you can do in advance, do it. And to that end, in the book, almost every single recipe has a little make ahead tip that explains which element of the recipe, if not all of it, can be made ahead and how far in advance. But beyond the cooking, I'm also a really big fan of something that I call the hosting timeline. And this is basically a schedule of everything that needs to get done before your guests arrive. Um, and it's, it requires you to take a moment to really plot out your schedule and keep yourself honest. Of am I going to be able to do all of the things that I need to do for this party? Whether it's cooking, grabbing ice, mixing cocktails, but also all of the mundane things that maybe get thought of last minute, like, oh, my God, there's dust everywhere, or I haven't vacuumed, or oh, it's five minutes until everyone arrives and I haven't showered. Um, maybe that's just me. Um, but really setting up a schedule and I like to handwrite it makes me feel very grounded. That sort of like gives myself the checkpoints of, okay, by 1 o', clock, hopefully I've made the potato salad. By 1:30, I've decided, you know, what dishes are going on the table, what's going to be served from the bar. You know, sort of just giving myself checkpoints to check in and make sure we're on schedule for a stress free party.

[Koosha Navadar]

I love it. Listeners, do you have tips? We want to go to your calls. Give us a call about how to host dinner parties. Well, what your go to recipes are. We're talking about the book. Where is it? Right here. We're talking with Catherine, of course, who's the founder and owner of Big Night. And the name of the book, which I have right in front of me is Big Dinners, Parties and dinner Parties. We're here to take your calls and texts. 212-433-9692. Let's go to Amy in Brooklyn. Hey, Amy. Welcome to the show.

[Caller or Guest]

Hey.

So glad to be on.

Welcome.

[Catherine Lewin]

Hi, Amy.

[Caller or Guest]

Hey. So one of our dinner party favorite dishes to make is paella.

[Koosha Navadar]

Okay.

[Catherine Lewin]

Fancy.

[Caller or Guest]

The Hudson and Wife team. Yeah. And we it's praya is one of the greatest things.

It's one pot meal, serves eight to 10 plus people, easy to prep, easy to coordinate, and a big showstopper for your guests.

[Catherine Lewin]

I was just gonna say what a central moment. What a centerpiece of the party.

[Caller or Guest]

Right. And so easy to sort of curate around. I couldn't agree with you more about a schedule. Trying to set the table early. Who doesn't break something five minutes before all your guests show up and have to pull out all sorts of of things. So absolutely. Writing down what you're going to make for your meal, your appetizers, and setting the table is just such a big thing to get out of the way and set the tone as well.

[Koosha Navadar]

Yeah. Thank you so much. And Amy's buddy who's there as well, thank you so much both for calling. Let's go to Helim in South Brunswick, New Jersey. Hey, Helene. Welcome to the show.

[Caller or Guest]

Hello. This is the first time I ever called. I bought a new Tesla. So I started looking for stations and apparently I found you and I quit it. I'm happy to talk to you.

[Koosha Navadar]

Nice welcome. Well, I hope your charging is going well. What's your tip?

[Caller or Guest]

All right, so the tip is that now let's say you have a casserole, meat pie, whatever it is, but you want to make something colorful and easy. So my recommendation is to make a salad with the mango on top of it. Imagine you have a circle of cucumbers and the lack of which is green color. Right. A little green and a little bit white is there. Then you put a sliced mangoes very chopped, not sliced. I would say chopped mango. And put it in the middle and keep a cylinder. It's a very, very, very middle. So if you look at it, it's like a colorful dish, which is easy to make. It will definitely waiting for the guest.

[Catherine Lewin]

I love that. It's like a rainbow right on your table. It sounds amazing.

[Koosha Navadar]

Yeah. Helene, thank you so much. I love mangoes as well. And I just want to point out thank you for pulling over and not driving while you call. I really appreciate that. I hope you have some great parties this year. Since we've gone into food, I want to be sure that I ask you from some of the recipes in your book, in the book you write about snack spread essentials, which means ingredients for appetizers before any larger meal is served. And I want to run through some of those right now. The first on the list is great olive oil. High quality olive oil kind of take everything to the next level there.

[Catherine Lewin]

High quality olive oil can be the difference between a dip that you buy in the grocery store and a dip that you serve at a dinner party that wows everybody. I truly believe even a store bought dip can be an incredible dish if you put it in a beautiful bowl and drizzle it with delicious olive oil and crack a little bit of black pepper on top.

[Koosha Navadar]

Where do you make your own olive oil? How do you try to go about it?

[Catherine Lewin]

I'm sure I did. Yeah.

[Koosha Navadar]

That takes a long time.

[Catherine Lewin]

But I do have a store that stocks some really fantastic olive oils. And with that said, I sort of have a rotating cast in my pantry. One that is a little bit, you know, buttery or in the mouth maybe. Great for drizzling on pastas. One that's super, like alive and peppery and wild tasting that I love to drizzle on salads or dips. But, you know, olive oil, not just for cooking. It's really like your finishing secret weapon.

[Koosha Navadar]

Yeah. And you know what was another part of the book that really surprised me was your discussion on tinned fish. So, like, what can one do with tinned fish for an app?

[Catherine Lewin]

So much. The world of tinned fish is large. You know, if you're somebody who is really into sardines or anchovies, honestly, those can go straight on a snack board. Just pop the tin, make sure you have a beautiful small fork in there for people to grab. And people can make their own toast with butter and anchovy. Maybe you're after something a little bit more dip. Like I love to take a couple of tins of trout and whip together with some mayo, again, olive oil, pepper, chili pepper, and you have a really quick, delicious trout dip.

[Koosha Navadar]

That sounds really good. And like we said before, easy to manage. Easy, easy, easy. Yeah.

[Catherine Lewin]

That's the key.

[Koosha Navadar]

Listeners were talking to Katherine Lewin about her new book, Big Night Dinners, Parties and Dinner Parties. We're here to take your calls and your texts on some strategies that you have for hosting successful dinner parties or any kind of party with intent. Like Catherine says. Give us a call, send us a text. 212-433-9692. Let's go to Eric in Maplewood, New Jersey. Hi, Eric. Welcome to the show.

[Caller or Guest]

Hi.

[Koosha Navadar]

Hi, Eric. Hi.

[Caller or Guest]

We throw an annual Swedish midsummer party. It's the first Saturday after the first day of summer.

[Catherine Lewin]

Amazing.

[Caller or Guest]

Here in Maplewood, we this year, we're expecting about 50 people.

[Koosha Navadar]

Wow.

[Caller or Guest]

We, my wife and I, do all the cooking. I make seven different flavors of aquavit.

[Catherine Lewin]

Wow.

[Caller or Guest]

Swedish shrimp salad, potato salad. I cure my own gravlocks and Swedish summer strawberry cake. My wife makes limpa, which is a Swedish rye bread, and we do it every summer.

[Catherine Lewin]

That sounds incredible. How long have you been having this party?

[Caller or Guest]

Trying to remember. How long? About eight years now. I've been doing it.

[Koosha Navadar]

Wow. Eric, thank you so much for that call. 50 people is. Is. Is a lot. Catherine, do you have any advice for things to be sure you do when that number starts to go beyond, you know, five, 10 people?

[Catherine Lewin]

I mean, what I'm impressed by listening to this is the breadth of dishes that we're talking about, because, you know, for 50 people, that is a lot of different food and the quantities are high. My thing is, once the number for a dinner party gets over, I'd say 12 people, especially in a New York City apartment. I like to transfer to a snack table, a do it yourself snack table, rather than seating people around a table. Just because with that number, you're gonna enjoy yourself more and be able to mix and mingle better if everybody is in control of when they're eating, how they're eating, and we're all sort of gathering around the table as opposed to sitting down far away from each other, you know, trying to eat the right thing at the right time.

[Koosha Navadar]

Yeah. What do you do if you live in a small apartment and you still want people to come over and you're not sure how many people you can fit in? Like, even, even five people seems like too many. Do you have strategies for dealing with small apartments?

[Catherine Lewin]

I think we all just need to. We live in New York City. It comes with the best things, and it comes with the challenges of a tiny apartment. And we just need to embrace that. And that means that some people are going to be sitting on the floor, some people are going to be sitting at a coffee table, some people maybe will get a prime spot at the dinner table. What matters is that we're together and we're enjoying the food. It's not so much about, you know, does everyone have a picture perfect dinner party tablescape in front of them? It's like, let's take advantage of every corner of this apartment.

[Koosha Navadar]

I love listening to you, how you talk about just normalizing and managing expectations and decreasing the barriers to entry. Normalize the timeout, the nap, normalize the tiny apartment. Hank. Yeah.

[Catherine Lewin]

Yes. I mean, I think we're also used to seeing these, like, picture perfect Pinterest perfect tablescapes and spreads on the Internet, on Instagram. And listen, if you're the kind of person who gets so much joy from making one of those picture perfect tablescapes, then you do that because that love and creativity is going to be felt by your guests. But if you're somebody for whom, you know, a perfectly manicured table is not where you thrive and find joy, then, like, put your energy into something else and everybody will have more fun for it.

[Koosha Navadar]

And, you know, speaking of where to put your energy, something I heard from Eric that I wanted to touch on was he said he and his wife both host this, and we've been talking so far. Kind of like what you as an individ individual can do to host a party. Let's say you're hosting it with multiple people, a partner, roommates, whatever. Any advice on how to divide responsibility or thinking about how to tackle the party together?

[Catherine Lewin]

I am a really big fan of asking for help and delegating. I think another sort of preconceived notion we have in our heads is that the person who's hosting is like the grand entertainer who's going to open the door and everyone's going to walk in and it's all going to be perfect. I really rely on my guests and my friends to have a hand, and I will ask specifically for what I need. So if I'm the one who's sort of come up with the menu and the center dish, then I'm thinking, okay, can someone else bring a supporting cast? Like, have I thought about the vegetable? Do I need to delegate that? Have I thought about who's picking up the maybe kind of boring stuff like the ice, or maybe the ice cream is Gonna go with dessert. I have no problem sort of assigning people to specific tasks because I think everybody wants to feel like they're part of it. And it also gives the party really nice and relaxed vibe when everybody has had a little bit of a hand in it.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah.

[Koosha Navadar]

Let's go to Molly in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Hey, Molly. Welcome to the show.

[Caller or Guest]

Hey, thanks for having me. I have two questions. One of them was about inspiration for a creative rut, but I actually feel like you very much covered that with just recipes and hearing about other people's parties. I definitely want to score an invite to that midsummer party.

[Catherine Lewin]

Same.

[Caller or Guest]

But instead, I'd like to ask about time management. I'm one of those hosts that you come over, you're going to have an amazing dinner, but my kitchen is going to be an absolute mess. And I might still be making, like, potatoes, and there might be, you know, there's just stuff everywhere. So if you have any tips about time management strategies, that would be great. And then my other question is about social dynamics. So, you know, inviting a mix of people to a dinner party, maybe some of them are your close friends. Maybe some of them are like new co workers. You know, is that a matter of seating strategically? What are your tips for, you know, lubricating good social interaction?

[Koosha Navadar]

Oh, great questions, Molly. Thanks so much. What do you think?

[Catherine Lewin]

I'm gonna start with the second one. I am, if it's a small enough group. I'm actually really a fan of a seating arrangement and place cards, which is kind of an old fashioned take. But I love to play matchmaker with who's gonna sit next to whom and think about who might really enjoy meeting each other. I also think place cards are a really great way to immediately make someone feel like, oh, I have a place at this table. This feels nice that someone thought of my name and where I should sit. And then also to the sort of point of giving people opportunities to meet one another. I am also a really big fan of setting up some kind of bar at a dinner party. A bar could be a martini bar, a bar could be a spritz bar, a bar could be a BLT bar. Maybe that's the centerpiece of what you're cooking. But I love to create a moment for people to put together their own drink or bite completely on their own. Choose their own adventure, Give them the tools to make that perfect spritzer martini, but let them do it. And I think that also gives people an opportunity to be gathered around one place, kind of thinking like, okay, what's Going to go in my martini. What's going to go in yours? It kind of creates, like, a very interactive moment for people to talk to one another.

[Koosha Navadar]

Molly, I know that you had asked a second question as well, but since we're on Social Dynamics, if it's all right, I'd love to hop to another caller who's got a similar train of thought here. I want to hear from Julian in Northville, New Jersey. Hi, Julian. Welcome to the show.

[Caller or Guest]

Hi. Thank you. Yeah. My question has to do with someone who asks at the party, what can I do to help? And I remember my father used to say, those who want to help, help. Those who don't want to help, ask.

[Catherine Lewin]

Wow, I love that. You know, if someone is asking, I will tell them. And the answer is probably, would you mind helping me at the very end of the night, just do a little bit of cleanup? And you know what? They can opt out of that. If they head home early, then that's their way of saying, like, well, I asked. But I do think people want to be helpful and might just feel a little bit awkward as to, like, how do I insert myself? I also think with most dinner parties, there's an opportunity to sort of earmark in advance the things that you think somebody else could handle. Maybe if you're hosting brunch, somebody can be juicing the oranges. Maybe if you're hosting dinner, somebody could be setting out, you know, the roles on the table, little things that you can just say to yourself, someone else can handle this. And I will assign it to the first person that asks.

[Koosha Navadar]

You know, it reminds me of part of your book, which is the 13 hosting rules that you live by. I mean, we can't go through all 13. But in your mind, what are a few of the most important hosting rules that may not be as obvious to you?

[Catherine Lewin]

I think number one, and we've. We've touched on this a little bit, is you do not have to serve dinner in the formal sense to have a dinner party. That's very important to me. So again, that can be a snack table. It can be a paella night is a dinner, but it's also like a paella party. And that central moment of that party is the paella less about the, like, seated formality of a dinner. So that's. That's really important to me. Anything can be judged. That speaks to what we were talking about earlier about, you know, what if you don't have time to make your own dip, buy it at the store and just put it in your fanciest bowl. Give it a really nice sprinkle of something fresh, like olive oil or lemon juice, and you're good to go.

[Koosha Navadar]

Let's go to Donna in North Bellmore, Long Island. Hey, Donna. Welcome to the show.

[Caller or Guest]

Hey, Kathryn. I can't wait to get your book. I host our movie group once a year. We're 15 to 20 people. We function like a book club and organization. I have it all written out. I'm doing the same thing almost every year. I set up small card tables because I don't want people dripping my Chicken Marbella on my good furniture. They're all set up. The dishes are out. And I make two dishes that are crowd pleasers. One is from the old Silver Palate Cookbook. It's a marinated chicken, and you could serve at room temperature. It could sit in the oven. It's olive oil, vinegar, you know, real easy stuff. And then the other thing is frosty tofu that I invented, and it's made with tofu, mayo, and mustard. And these are carnivores, but I can't not serve that dish. And they're two easy dishes. I make rice. And then, as you said, people volunteer, and they augment with side dishes and desserts. And it's a factory that flows.

[Catherine Lewin]

I am so wanting to know more about the tofu. And I also just want to say that you touched on a really great tip, which is food that can be at room temperature and sit by itself and not have to be babysat is such a good play for basically any dinner party.

[Koosha Navadar]

Donna, I would also like to know more about this tofu. Please, please elaborate.

[Caller or Guest]

I had this on one of my first dates with the love of my life 25 or 30 years ago at a vegetarian place in the Village. And I just copied it. So I drained the tofu, I cut it in half, and then I do quarters. The dressing is mayo and mustard and curry powder, basically those three. And then we thin it with a little bit of almond milk or soy milk or if you use regular milk, so it's like a drippable marinade. And then I coat the pieces in the mustard and mayo stuff, and then I kind of layer it, and it doesn't. You know, the great thing about this is it doesn't have to be exact. And then I sprinkle dried cranberries and chopped up onions that I microwave for like a minute. And then I put it in the casserole dish top and bake it at 350 to 375 for about 35 minutes. I have to tell you. And I use rice for both of them, so I'm glad. It's a tofu recipe that carnivores love.

[Koosha Navadar]

Donna, thank you so much for that call for that tip, for that story. That was lovely. We really appreciate it. I'm looking at the clock. We have just less than a minute left here. Catherine, just wondering for you, why do you ultimately think it's important for us to gather and throw dinner parties like you imagine in your book?

[Catherine Lewin]

I think dinner parties are a place where time kind of stops for a minute in a way that it doesn't when we're out and about on the town in one of New York City's amazing restaurants. Those nights are special. But being able to bring people into your home where nobody's worried about, you know, what are we gonna order and how are we gonna pay the check and where are we going next? It really makes for a magical evening where people can spread out and relax and spend time really connecting.

[Koosha Navadar]

Yeah. Catherine Lewin is the founder and owner of Big Night, a Dinner Party Essential shop with locations in Greenpoint and the West Village. She was here to discuss her new book, Big Dinners Parties and Dinner Parties. Check it out if you want some tips, not just for good things to make, but good things to do to help you have a successful party with intention. 2 people, 10 people, 50 people. If you're celebrating midsummer, who's to say? Katherine, thanks so much for joining us.

[Catherine Lewin]

Thanks so much for having me.

[Caller or Guest]

Thank you.

[Catherine Lewin]

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