Podcast Summary: All Of It — “How to Host a Dinner Party Your Guests Will Never Forget”

Host: Koosha Navadar (WNYC)
Guest: Catherine Lewin (Founder of Big Night)
Date: June 20, 2024

Overview of the Episode

This episode dives into the art of hosting memorable dinner parties, focusing on lowering stress, fostering connection, and embracing imperfection. Host Koosha Navadar welcomes Catherine Lewin, the owner of Big Night (a NYC dinner party essentials shop) and author of Big Night Dinners: Parties and Dinner Parties. Catherine shares her philosophy and practical advice, callers chime in with stories and tips, and together they capture the magic and reality of gathering people for a meal.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origin of Big Night and Dinner Party Philosophy

• Pandemic Inspiration: Catherine started Big Night after witnessing how the pandemic increased home cooking but isolated people from communal meals. When gatherings returned, she saw a hunger for intentional, meaningful parties.
  • “I started thinking about dinner parties as one of those experiences we were going to be so excited to have once it was safe enough to do so.” — Catherine Lewin (04:16)
• Defining a “Big Night”: Not just elaborate dinners—any meal or gathering made special by intention.
  • “A big night is any night or moment… that you choose to really take a moment to make feel like an occasion to feel special.” — Catherine Lewin (05:51)
  • It could be a Wednesday pizza with wine and a salad: intention is what counts.

2. Lowering Barriers and Managing Stress

• Normalize Imperfection: NY apartments are small, people get tired, and life is messy—embrace it!
  • “Normalize the social nap, everyone.” — Koosha Navadar (08:49)
  • Catherine encourages hosts to step away (“social nap”) if overwhelmed and sees this as necessary self-care.
• Planning & The ‘Hosting Timeline’: Mapping out tasks in advance reduces last-minute rush.
  • “I’m also a really big fan of something that I call the hosting timeline… a schedule of everything that needs to get done before your guests arrive.” — Catherine Lewin (09:04)
  • Break down chores: cooking, cleaning, shopping, showering—handwrite checklists.

3. Practical Party Strategies & Recipes

• Do-Ahead Dishes: Make as much as possible in advance. Her cookbook notes which steps can be prepped early.
• Snack Boards & Appetizers: Start with great olive oil, tinned fish, and simple but elevated dips.
  • “Even a store-bought dip can be an incredible dish if you put it in a beautiful bowl and drizzle it with delicious olive oil.” — Catherine Lewin (13:33)
  • Tinned fish (sardines, anchovies, smoked trout) can be served straight from the tin or used in quick dips.
• Crowd-Pleaser Recipes:
  • Paella: A caller recommends paella for large groups—it’s scalable, impressive, and easy to prep.
  • Mango Salad: Another caller loves salads with vibrant mango for a colorful, easy dish.
  • Chicken Marbella & “Frosty Tofu”: Host dishes that can sit at room temp and require little babysitting.

4. Hosting for Larger Groups & Small Spaces

• Scale Adjustments:
  • Over 10–12 people? Use snack boards or buffet-style setups instead of a formal sit-down meal (16:53).
  • Embrace NY living: people can sit anywhere, even on the floor.
  • “What matters is that we're together and we're enjoying the food… Let's take advantage of every corner of this apartment.” — Catherine Lewin (17:45)

5. Delegation and Co-Hosting

• Ask for Specific Help: Don’t bear all the work yourself—assign tasks! (eg: bringing sides, ice, drinks)
  • “I rely on my guests and my friends to have a hand, and I will ask specifically for what I need.” — Catherine Lewin (19:19)
• Partner Power: Divide labor with co-hosts, roommates, and family so hosting stays joyful.

6. Time Management and Social Dynamics

• Messy Kitchens & Ongoing Cooking: Catherine suggests the “hosting timeline” and prioritizing dishes that can be made or prepped ahead as much as possible (20:32).
• Facilitating Connection:
  • Strategic seating (place cards can be old-fashioned but effective).
  • Interactive stations: DIY bars (cocktails, spritzes, even BLTs) create moments for guests to mingle.
  • “I love to create a moment for people to put together their own drink or bite… It also gives people an opportunity to be gathered around one place…” — Catherine Lewin (22:18)

7. Hosting Rules & Mindset Shifts

• Catherine’s Top Hosting Rules (not all 13 listed):
  • You don’t have to serve a formal dinner for it to count.
  • Store-bought elements are OK—just serve them with care.
  • Focus on hospitality and connection, not perfection.
• Caller Wisdom:
  • “Those who want to help, help. Those who don't want to help, ask.” — Quoted by Julian in Northville, NJ (22:33)
  • Assign even small or late-night tasks to willing helpers.

8. Why Dinner Parties Matter

• Creating Space for Genuine Connection:
  • Hosting at home allows people to relax, linger, and connect in ways that dining out cannot.
  • “Dinner parties are a place where time kind of stops for a minute in a way that it doesn’t when we’re out and about on the town… It really makes for a magical evening.” — Catherine Lewin (27:34)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Normalize the social nap." — Koosha Navadar (08:49)
• "A big night is any moment… that you choose to make feel like an occasion." — Catherine Lewin (05:51)
• “I rely on my guests… and I will ask specifically for what I need.” — Catherine Lewin (19:19)
• “Dinner parties are a place where time kind of stops for a minute… It really makes for a magical evening.” — Catherine Lewin (27:34)
• “Those who want to help, help. Those who don’t want to help, ask.” — Julian, caller (22:33)
• Paella as a “one-pot showstopper for your guests.” — Amy, caller (11:10)

Caller Highlights & Practical Tips

• Amy (Brooklyn): Go-to party dish: paella; recommends prepping and plating ahead, and setting tables early (10:54–11:54).
• Helene (South Brunswick): Quick, colorful salad tip: arrange cucumbers and chopped mango for a vibrant, easy appetizer (12:06–12:58).
• Eric (Maplewood): Hosts 50-person Swedish midsummer parties; makes gravlax, aquavit, and more—adapts setup to scale (15:49–16:53).
• Donna (Long Island): Easy protein dishes (Chicken Marbella, frosty tofu) that sit well at room temp and satisfy meat-eaters and vegetarians (24:36–27:15).

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:26 – Show intro, Koosha introduces Catherine and the Big Night origin story
• 04:24 – Catherine’s inspiration for Big Night and what qualifies as a “big night”
• 05:51 – The power of intent in gatherings
• 07:35 – Addressing hosting stress as an introvert
• 08:49 – The “social nap” idea
• 09:04 – Make-ahead tips & the hosting timeline
• 10:51 – Amy in Brooklyn: paella, early table-setting
• 12:06 – Helene: quick, colorful mango salad tip
• 13:33 – Catherine on snack board essentials and tinned fish
• 15:44 – Eric: Swedish midsummer party for 50; scaling and space
• 17:45 – Hosting in small apartments, embracing imperfection
• 19:19 – Delegating and sharing hosting duties
• 20:16 – Molly: time management, social dynamics, seating, interactive bars
• 22:33 – Julian: advice for guests offering help
• 23:51 – Catherine’s most important hosting rules
• 24:36 – Donna: crowd-pleaser recipes and party flow
• 27:34 – Why dinner parties matter: deeper connection
• 28:29 – Closing thoughts, book mention

Overall Tone and Takeaways

Friendly, practical, and non-judgmental. Both host and guest emphasize lowering stress, maximizing hospitality, and making dinner parties about connection rather than perfection or performance. The episode brims with real-life wisdom—normalize small spaces, naps, messy kitchens, and store-bought dips—as long as the intention is genuine. The audience is encouraged to contribute and find joy in every kind of gathering.

Key message:
You don’t need to be a professional chef or have a perfect apartment to create meaningful, unforgettable dinner parties—intentionality and a spirit of connection make any night a “big night.”