How to Plan the Best (And Least Stressful) Birthday Party for Your Kid

Summary

Podcast Summary: "How to Plan the Best (And Least Stressful) Birthday Party for Your Kid"

Podcast: All Of It (WNYC)
Host: Alison Stewart
Guests: Anna Fader (Founder of Mommy Poppins), Jodi Mercier (Mommy Poppins NY Regional Editor)
Date: February 6, 2026

---

Overview

This episode dives into the joys and challenges of planning children’s birthday parties in New York City and beyond. Host Alison Stewart, joined by community call-ins and her guests from the Mommy Poppins family activity website, explores strategies for reducing parental stress, creating memorable experiences for kids, and respecting budget and space limitations. Real-life stories, etiquette tips, and practical ideas — both high and low-key — are shared in a lively, relatable conversation.

---

Key Discussion Points

1. Why Celebrate with a Party?

• Jodi Mercier (01:04): “It's a celebration for parents as much as it's a celebration for kids. You know, I think it's just always fun to celebrate parenthood and to celebrate your kids and milestones.”
• Parties can serve as milestones for both parents and children, reinforcing family bonds and social connections.

2. Avoiding Birthday Party Planning Traps

• Anna Fader (01:32): “The big trap that we fall into in parenting in general is feeling like, you know, you have to do something because of other people's expectations...do what feels right to me.”
• Advice: Center the party around your child — not external expectations, peer pressure, or comparison.

3. Balancing What Kids Want with What Parents Can Manage

• Both guests recommend finding a middle ground between your child’s wishes and your capacity (time, energy, money).
• Jodi Mercier (03:10): “I've tried to make my kids’ dreams come true without making myself a stress ball. So I think there's a balance to everything.”
• Sometimes, the simplest parties become the most memorable.

4. New York-Specific Challenges and Opportunities

• Jodi (04:47): “The thing that makes it easy is you have so many options...one of the challenges is keeping it in your budget, whatever your budget is.”
• Space is at a premium; creativity is essential to make the most of what you have.
• Affordable options include public parks, informal gatherings in open spaces, and making use of public amenities like ice skating rinks or carousels (05:55–06:33).

5. Creative & Affordable Party Ideas

• Outdoor Activities: Embrace the cold or off-peak seasons (football in the park in December, ice skating, picnics, simple games).
• High-Low Alternatives: For every fancy, “official” activity (e.g., renting a carousel venue), there’s a DIY version (buy ride tickets, bring a picnic).
• Simple crafts: Chickpea & toothpick structures, sand art, and custom-themed “pin the something on the something” games (07:06–08:27).
• Backyard Access: Shared outdoor spaces can become the nucleus of family memories (04:17).

6. Community Call-In Highlights

• Tessa (Caller, 07:06): Advocates for small parties: number of guests = child’s age.
• Mads (Caller, 07:56): Themed party games (e.g., “Pin the Hat on Madeline”).
• Multiple listeners reminisce about creative DIY parties: sand art (08:33), indoor/outdoor adventures, and forming traditions.

7. Dividing Parent Responsibilities

• Split duties based on strengths (one parent plans, the other handles logistics). Sometimes a parent's unique talents (like fire juggling!) can become party highlights (09:24).
• Anna Feder (09:24): “My husband juggles fire, so that was always his job at the party."

8. How Many Kids to Invite?

• Age-based rule: Number of guests roughly equals the child’s age (+1). This keeps things manageable and sets expectations (11:16).
• Smaller, focused gatherings are often less stressful and more meaningful for the child.
• “Drop-off” parties are beloved by both parents and children once kids are old enough (11:06).

9. Navigating School Rules and Social Pressure

• Some schools require inviting the whole class — but usually only if using school for distribution (12:46).
• “You have to find what works for your family and balance inclusivity with sanity and resources.”

10. Parties for Tweens & Teens

• Activities tailored to older kids: Laser tag (Area 53), trampoline parks, museum sleepovers, or sports stadium tours (13:09–14:17).
• Active, experience-based events are often a hit.

11. First Birthday Party Etiquette

• Jodi (15:05): “It's not a party for a baby, it's a party for you. You survived the first year. Congratulations. Here's your party.”
• Focus on the family milestone, keep expectations low for the baby’s involvement.

12. Should You Invite Friends Without Kids?

• Inviting adult friends (“aunties,” close family-type friends) is common and acceptable, especially when family is far away (15:51).
• Alternatively, host separate events for family/friends and for your child’s peer group.

13. Tackling Screen Time

• Screen-use during parties is less of an issue at active, engaging parties.
• It’s okay to collect phones in a basket if it becomes a distraction (16:44–17:05).
• Alison Stewart (16:53): “I was just like, I gotta get this [the phone] out of the room. It will ruin the party actually.”

14. Memorable Party Stories from Listeners

• Closed street for pony rides and neighborhood participation (17:27).
• Park breakfasts with bagels and leaf-jumping for a November baby (18:09).
• Pool party at a hotel with a ferry ride, or the YMCA for affordability (19:07).
• Homemade slip ‘n’ slide using plastic sheeting and baby oil (19:23).

15. Gift Opening Etiquette

• Strong consensus: Do not open gifts in front of guests — it’s awkward and stressful for many children (19:57–20:22).
• Exception: Small, intimate parties among close friends may open presents together.

16. Invitations Timing

• Type A: Send invites about a month in advance for best attendance (20:46).
• Type B: Less planning is okay, but increased risk of mix-ups.

17. Worst-Case Party Anecdotes

• Neighbors called police on a noisy Star Wars party; chaos with second graders and lightsabers (21:31–22:13).
• Hilariously orchestrated murder mystery party involved a staged police “arrest” (22:34).

18. Food & Cake

• Opt for no-fuss food that doesn’t keep you tethered to the kitchen (23:09).
• Cupcakes from Whole Foods, store-bought cakes, or letting kids decorate their own treats can be affordable and fun (23:19).

19. Letting Go and Embracing Chaos

• Sometimes the best parties emerge when kids are simply allowed to play freely; couch cushion battles may be the highlight (23:58).
• Parents' and kids' happiness often depends more on vibe and freedom than Pinterest-perfect decor.

20. Resources

• Mommy Poppins (24:35): Comprehensive guides for venues, party ideas, and local activities (mommypoppins.com).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Parties are as much for parents as kids." – Jodi Mercier (01:04)
• "Do what feels right to me." – Anna Feder (01:32)
• "I try to make my kids’ dreams come true without making myself a stress ball." – Jodi Mercier (03:10)
• "You can always kind of do a non party version of it." – Anna Feder (06:33)
• "My husband juggles fire, so that was always his job at the party." – Anna Feder (09:24)
• "We had the cops called on a second grader's birthday party." – Jodi Mercier (21:34)
• "It's not a party for a baby—it's a party for you. You survived the first year." – Jodi Mercier (15:05)
• "No way. I never did gifts... It's awkward for the birthday kid." – Jodi Mercier (19:58)
• "Let it go." – Anna Feder (15:24, on first birthday cake pressure)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Why parties? (01:04)
• Common traps & advice (01:32–02:16)
• NYC challenges and solutions (04:47–06:33)
• Affordability/DIY examples (05:55–06:33)
• Caller: Small parties best (07:06–07:44)
• Parent teamwork & unique talents (09:04–09:33)
• Guest limits (11:02–11:16)
• Navigating school invite rules (12:37–13:00)
• Tweens/teens party tips (13:09–14:17)
• First birthdays (15:05)
• Phone/screen time (16:29–17:21)
• Memorable party stories (17:27–19:23)
• Gift opening etiquette (19:56–20:24)
• When to invite (20:41–20:59)
• Party disaster stories (21:31–22:29)
• Food and cake suggestions (23:09–23:28)
• Resource mention (24:35)

---

Tone & Style

The conversation is welcoming and upbeat, peppered with real-life anecdotes, self-deprecation, and practical empathy for overwhelmed parents. Both guests and callers stress the value of authenticity and fun over perfection, with a distinctly New York perspective on space, budget, and community.

---

For More

Visit: mommypoppins.com for comprehensive birthday party guides, ideas, and location listings.

---

This summary captures the full spirit and major takeaways of the episode, blending expert advice with listener experiences, so that anyone—whether planning for a city kid or just seeking birthday inspiration—can find accessible, stress-reducing strategies.

Transcript

[Alison Stewart]

Foreign.

[Andrea]

This is all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart. It's one thing to plan your own birthday party, but as a parent, it's another one, another thing to plan one for your kid. You might have to choose a theme, a setting, who to invite from your kid's school, and maybe which parents you actually want to spend time with. And nowadays, how do you stop a group of kids from whipping out their phones at a birthday party instead of socializing together? We're going to brainstorm some ideas now for how to plan the best birthday party for your kids. Parents, of course, we want to hear your ideas, too. With me now to help us is Anna Feder, founder of the Mommy Poppins family activity website. Nice to meet you.

[Jodi Mercier]

Hi. Thank you.

[Andrea]

We also have Jody Mercier, Mommy Poppins New York regional editor. Welcome, Jody.

[Jodi Mercier]

Thanks so much.

[Alison Stewart]

All right.

[Andrea]

Your kid may not ask for one, but why is throwing them a party? Why is it worth the stress, Jodi?

[Jodi Mercier]

I mean, I think it's a celebration for parents as much as it's a celebration for kids. You know, I mean, I think it's just always fun to celebrate parenthood and to celebrate your kids and milestones. But yeah, sometimes they, they don't know what they, they don't know what they're in for until you put it in front of them.

[Andrea]

Anna, what are some of the traps of kids birthday party planning that parents should be cautious about falling into?

[Anna Feder]

I think birthday party planning is pretty personal. Like people are coming in at really different places depending on your personal aesthetics, your financial situation, your peer group kind of. I think the big trap that we fall into in parenting in general is feeling like, you know, you have to do something because of other people's expectations. I try to, like, reset my brain and not do that and do what feels right to me.

[Andrea]

What do you think about that, Jodi?

[Jodi Mercier]

I think that's great advice. I mean, you have to do what's right for your, you and your family and your situation. And, you know, it's, it's, it's about your kid. Put your kid at the center of it and what they want.

[Alison Stewart]

Listeners, we want to hear from you as a parent. Have you had to plan one of your kids birthday parties? What's important thing, what are important things to know about when successfully planning a party for your kids? Call or text us now at 212-433-WNYC 212-433-9692. What's the best party you ever threw for your kids? Or maybe you Have a disaster story. You like those too.

[Andrea]

Our number is 2124-3396-9221-2433.

[Alison Stewart]

WNYC. Or maybe you have a favorite birthday.

[Andrea]

Party from when you were little. Our number is 212-433-969-2321-2433.

[Alison Stewart]

WNYC. How much should the idea be what the kid wants versus what the parents themselves feel like they have the energy or the interest in putting into this? What do you think, Jodi?

[Jodi Mercier]

That's a good question. I mean, I think as parents, we balance so much. And so, you know, I've tried to make my kids dreams come true without making myself a stress ball. So I think there's a balance to everything.

[Andrea]

What do you think, Anna?

[Anna Feder]

One of my favorite birthday party stories is I think my daughter was around 10, and I had kind of not spaced her birthday party, but had just was busy and hadn't had time to really plan something. So I took her and I think three other friends to Max Brenner Chocolate with the bald man. We just, like, walked in, no reservation. We had dinner there. They do, like, a chocolate syringe where it's a dessert item where you just basically squirt chocolate directly into your mouth. And then we went home and, you know, I think we did a craft and had a sleepover party. So literally there was zero planning for this event. Oh, my gosh. But it was like, I've never seen happier kids, so I think you can pull it off and do both.

[Alison Stewart]

Do you remember a party that you were really proud of, Jodi, that you went to or that you threw?

[Jodi Mercier]

You know, most of my favorite parties I had in my girlfriend's backyard. And it's like, such a privilege to have a friend who has a space and opens her space to my family and my community. So we've had graduation parties there. We've had birthday parties. We've had first communions. We've had, you know, like, all of my family's core party memories are definitely about that backyard.

[Alison Stewart]

Love it. Let's get specific to New York. Jody, what about New York makes it easy to plan a kid's birthday party? And what's a unique challenge about living in New York?

[Jodi Mercier]

So I would say the. The thing that makes it easy is you have so many options. You have options where you can totally outsource everything and have somebody do it for you. You have options where you can bring party entertainers to your space. So there's a wide variety of ways to approach a party. I think One of the challenges is keeping it in your budget, whatever your budget is.

[Andrea]

Space, I would think is a problem too, actually.

[Jodi Mercier]

Space is definitely, probably problem number one. But I feel like New York City parents are pretty savvy and creative when it comes to space.

[Andrea]

What are some New York locations where people can go to have parties that aren't a lot of money?

[Jodi Mercier]

I think, you know, talking about favorite birthday parties, one of ours was my son is a December birthday. So it's challenging to have a December birthday.

[Andrea]

Yes, it is.

[Jodi Mercier]

But we kind of embraced the cold. And we were like, you know what? He loves football. We're gonna have a flag football tournament in the park in the middle of December. And it was a blast. It was unexpected, it was cold, but everybody warmed up with, you know, running around in the park, cheerleading, having hot chocolate, and it was, you know, a memorable experience.

[Andrea]

Anna, do you have any other suggestion for cold birthday parties?

[Anna Feder]

Well, the parks are always great place to have an affordable birthday party. But I, I, at Mommy Poppins, we talk actually a lot about high, low options. So, like, for instance, you can have an ice skating party and you can rent the rink, not the whole rink, but they'll like give you a party room and everything. But to be more affordable, I would just take a bunch of kids ice skating. We would, you know, Bryant park, it's free, you pay for the rental or whatever. And then we would go to the diner and have hot cocoa, you know, so like, there's always a more affordable way to do the parties that is like, not the official party way.

[Andrea]

Oh, I need to hear a couple more of those examples.

[Anna Feder]

Well, so we were. Another example is like at the carousel parties. So you can like have a fancy birthday party in the glass dome of Jane's Carousel, or you can buy a bunch of tickets. I think they sell them in 10 packs and then have a picnic on the lawn next to Jane's Carousel. So, like, you know, whatever, however, whatever you want to do, you can always kind of do a non party version of it.

[Andrea]

Let's take a couple calls. Tessa is calling us from lower Manhattan. Hi, Tessa, thanks so much for calling all of it.

[Caller]

Hi. Thank you. I actually believe that the smaller the birthday party, the better for children. So we generally had the rule of the number of children for the age of our kid. And one of the best parties we did was brought the children from her nursery school class here, our apartment. And we had soaked chickpeas overnight. And they built buildings out of chickpeas and toothpicks, which is a trick my Mother had taught me when I was a child, and we made a whole town that covered the table, and everybody had a grand time.

[Anna Feder]

That's really fun. I've never heard about chickpeas. We use mini marshmallows for that.

[Andrea]

Let's talk to Mads. He's calling from Dumbo. Hi, Mads. Thanks for taking the time to call. All of it.

[Caller]

Hey, Allison. Thanks. Yeah, I'm turning 29 this weekend, which is pretty fun. And I've been thinking about all the past birthdays and birthday parties that my creative parents helped organize. And one of those memories that popped into my head was pin the something on the something. You can get really creative beyond a tale. I'm. My big sister kind of named me after the cartoon Madeline. So one year we did pin the hat on Madeline. When I had a sports themed birthday, we did pin the basketball in the net.

So.

And that's a fun thing that everybody can be involved in and kind of an ageless, timeless thing, too.

[Andrea]

That's a great suggestion. Thanks so much. This text says my favorite birthday party as a kid was sand art, putting layers of different color sand in jars. My mother claims she still finds blue and sand in the carpet 30 years later. I believe that if you're planning for.

[Alison Stewart]

A party and there are two parents.

[Andrea]

Involved, how can the process go so that both parents take responsibility, or should there just be one parent who takes responsibility? What do you say?

[Jodi Mercier]

I think whenever we were throwing parties, I was kind of the creative vision in my house, and my husband was the errand runner, the wrangler of children while I got everything set up. You know, we just kind of found ways to divide the tasks so that they catered to each of our strengths.

[Andrea]

What do you think?

[Anna Feder]

Well, my husband juggles fire, so that was always his job at the party.

[Jodi Mercier]

Excuse me, I can't make this up.

[Andrea]

Your husband juggles fire.

[Anna Feder]

So I did really get into birthday parties. Not because I was, you know, that was, for me, a big creative outlet. So I would kind of produce. They weren't, like, fancy, per se. They were very homespun. But we would, like, come up with a theme and, like, kind of go all out, but I don't know what year when we realized, wait, Ed juggles fire? We built that into all of our parties moving forward.

[Andrea]

That sounds awesome. My guests are Anna Fader, founder of the Mommy Poppins website, and NYC Metro Regional editor Jodi Mercer. We're discussing how to successfully plan a kid's birthday party, and we want to hear from you. Have you planned Your kid's birthday party. What's the best birthday party you've ever thrown for your kids or you've been to? Our number is 2124-3396-9221-2433.

[Alison Stewart]

WNYC.

[Andrea]

This is a hard one.

[Alison Stewart]

Jodi, how many kids should you invite?

[Jodi Mercier]

You had the caller that mentioned the age of your children. I've heard that rule before. I think, I think that is a good rule. I think when they're little, we tend to feel like we have to include everybody and that's really challenging in New York City. So. But I think the best parties that I've thrown are with the more limited group of friends. And I really loved it. Once we got to the age where we could leave the parents out off the invite list might be controversial, but then it becomes more about the, the kid and their friends instead of you and your friends.

[Alison Stewart]

Our, our senior producer said she loved a drop off party.

[Jodi Mercier]

Oh, I mean, as a parent, I love a drop off party too.

[Alison Stewart]

Let's talk to Rachel from Rockland County. Hi, Rachel, thanks for calling, all of it.

[Caller]

Hi, thank you for taking my call again. Yeah, I was also a theme party mom extraordinaire. I had three kids. But I have some really, this is my sound advice for how many kids. I really agreed with how old they were plus one more. That's what I did with my kids. And I started it from a very young age. So as they grew up, they knew they were not to expect more kids. And my friends, my adult friends knew that if their kids didn't get invited that year, there was a reason. And their kids all knew. Their friends all knew, oh, they're only allowed to invite seven kids. That's their mother's rule. It's just the way it was. I couldn't handle too many kids. I had the best theme parties in the world I could go on, which was the best. And my friends still tell me I should go in the business. But it just was. And what I hear now, I want to throw one more thing in the challenge. And this is in New York City too. My daughter is a nanny. But the schools are telling parents if you're going to invite one child in the class, you have to invite all the children in the class. My daughter took care, takes care of a little girl who had to invite all the children in her kindergarten and all the children in the before care class as well.

[Alison Stewart]

I was going to ask about that. Thank you for bringing that up. That is a rule in some schools that you have to invite everyone in the class. Is there a way around it?

[Jodi Mercier]

I feel like that was only the rule if we were going to use school to convey the invitation.

[Alison Stewart]

Oh, interesting.

[Jodi Mercier]

So, you know, I never felt obligated by my school to invite the whole class, but I also didn't involve them in my party planning.

[Alison Stewart]

I have a text here that says, this is for you, Anna. Teenage boys, how do you please them with a birthday party?

[Anna Feder]

So there's lots of great places. Like Area 53 is like a laser tag kind of place that the boy parties, they love that, you know, lots of, I mean not to gender stereotype because that's fun for everybody. But if you're, we're talking boy boys to, you know, there's the trampoline parks. Also fun for all genders. But if you're looking for more active style parties, the museums do great parties too. The sleepovers are really nice if you want to do a more, you know, going for it all type of party. Like. But you could take one kid or two kids and do one of the museum sleepovers. That's really fun also for everybody. What other boy specific stuff?

[Alison Stewart]

Boys are a little tough.

[Jodi Mercier]

They are, yeah, they are. I would say sports tickets or both. Yankee Stadium and Citi Field have tours. You can do behind the scenes tours. I did that with my son at one point. It's a lot of fun. You get to go into the locker room, you get to sit in the dugout. So those kind of experiences are really fun. And to bring your friends along with you, it's pretty fun.

[Andrea]

We are talking about kids birthday parties. We'll have more after a quick break. This is all of it. You are listening to all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart. My guests from Mommy Poppins are Anna Fader and Jodi Mercier. We're discussing how to have a successful plan for a kid's birthday party. Okay. Have two sort of sensitive subjects I will ask you both. Let's say a kid is turning one years old. The parents are planning a huge party. The people are realizing this child has no idea there will be a big party happening. Jody, what's the etiquette for hosting a party for a baby?

[Jodi Mercier]

I mean, it's not a party for a baby, it's a party for you. You survived the first year. Congratulations. Here's your party.

[Andrea]

And look at it that way.

[Jodi Mercier]

Yeah, 100%. The baby's gonna cry. Like the baby's gonna get passed around. The baby's gonna cry. The baby's gonna. You're gonna try to get that first birthday cake picture. It's gonna be a mess.

[Anna Feder]

That's the one thing I'd say about first birthdays is like, sometimes there's a lot of pressure for that first birthday cake picture. And that's what actually makes the party miserable. Like, let it go.

[Jodi Mercier]

You know, just let it go.

[Andrea]

Okay. The other question is you're putting together a party for your kids and maybe you wanna invite some people who don't have kids, who are your friends and is that okay to invite your friends to the party even if they don't have kids?

[Jodi Mercier]

I always invited the aunties, you know, like the honorable family members. We don't have a lot of family in the city, so the friends who became family were always included at our family parties, whether they were kid parties or not.

[Andrea]

How do you feel about outsiders coming to the party?

[Anna Feder]

I think it also, this can be a cost issue. It depends what type of party you're doing and do you have space and all of that. It's also okay to do two parties. Have a family party with your grown up friends and then have a party that's for the kids.

[Andrea]

And our third tough question is screens. Young kids like to have their phones out when they're hanging out. What can parents do to avoid screens at parties?

[Jodi Mercier]

That is a hard one. I mean, my kids didn't have smartphones until they were 13, so it was just kind of a given that they weren't going to be at our birthday parties. But I don't know that I have any good rules to limit it after that.

[Anna Feder]

I mean, I think I also have not seen this as a big issue at parties. But if, you know, it's certainly okay to say, here's the basket for the phones.

[Alison Stewart]

Yeah, I had that happen. We had one kid bring a phone to a party when my kid was really, really little. And they all started gravitating around it and I was just like, I gotta get this out of the room. It will ruin the party actually.

[Jodi Mercier]

Yeah. And I think some of those parties are more active and things to do versus, you know, sitting at a restaurant waiting for food to come. You're much less likely to pull out the phone if you're doing laser tag or, you know, at a sporting event or doing something active together.

[Alison Stewart]

Let's take a couple more calls. Let's talk to Brooke in Westchester. Hey Brooke, thanks for calling, all of it.

[Caller]

Hi, thanks a lot. So the best birthday party we ever had was when we lived in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn. We lived on a street that was only one block long. And my wife got a permit to close the street and we had pony rides for the entire block.

[Alison Stewart]

Wow, that was impressive. How many ponies did you have?

[Caller]

We had three. And then the next year we had a bounce house. We did the exact same thing the next year, but with a different theme.

[Anna Feder]

Did you allow neighbors to participate too, or was it just like, private for your friends?

[Caller]

The entire block.

[Anna Feder]

So fun.

[Alison Stewart]

Oh, that's great, Brooke. Thanks for calling in. Let's talk to Stephanie in Toms River. Hey, Stephanie. Thanks for calling, all of it.

[Caller]

Hi there. I just wanted to say that I think birthday parties can be so over the top. So I always like to do it outside to save money. But I have a November 30th birthday in my house. Our favorite party was at the park for breakfast. Bagels, coffee, hot chocolate, and it was a total hit. I said, dress for the weather. We also did a leaf jumping party for November. Baby made a huge pile of leaves. The kids had the best time. We did a leaf scavenger hunt. And you don't need to do November parties inside. You can bring them outside.

[Alison Stewart]

That's great, Stephanie. Thanks for that. This says when my daughter turned 11, she wanted a pool party. Only problem is her birthday is at the end of April and we live in New York City. Ended up taking eight girls on the ferry to Weehawken and renting two adjoining hotel rooms at the Sheraton. There we had a sleepover where we ended up having a hotel pool to ourselves until 10pm and again starting at 9am they love the pool part and the ferry ride.

[Anna Feder]

That is super fun. Another way to do a pool party, of course, is at the Y. And it's actually relatively affordable birthday party option.

[Alison Stewart]

Let's talk to Kathy, who's calling in from Norwalk. Hi, Kathy. Thanks for calling, all of it. Hello. Hello.

[Caller]

So my daughter is. Hi. My daughter has an August birthday and we had a sloping backyard. So we would go down to Canal street and buy a giant piece of plastic, a big strip of plastic, and make a slip and slide soaked with baby oil. And the kids had a blast.

[Jodi Mercier]

I like that you added the baby oil.

[Alison Stewart]

I know.

[Andrea]

I heard that.

[Alison Stewart]

I was like, where's this going? I'm not so sure. Thanks for calling in. This question. Should the birthday celebrant open the gifts in front of all the guests?

[Andrea]

That's a. And a big.

[Anna Feder]

No.

[Jodi Mercier]

No way. I never did gifts. It's. It's awkward for the birthday kid. My middle daughter does not like to be the center of attention, so she wouldn't want all the eyes on her. And it's awkward for the kids who don't have gifts to open. So we never did birthday presents during the party.

[Alison Stewart]

Not during the party, no.

[Jodi Mercier]

We'd wait till everybody went home and then you can keep track and know who you need to thank. Just a little less chaos and it makes the fun last longer, too.

[Alison Stewart]

Are you on the same page, Anna?

[Anna Feder]

I'm trying to remember everything that you know. I know that sometimes we did open the presents when it was a smaller party and I'm thinking of my daughter particular. Maybe she had three or four friends over and opening the presents together was part of the celebrity, you know, part of the thing they wanted to do.

[Alison Stewart]

How far in advance should invitations go out?

[Jodi Mercier]

I'd say maybe a month.

[Alison Stewart]

A month out? So you have to be planning a month out?

[Anna Feder]

Yeah, I'm more of a type B mom.

[Andrea]

Okay, Type A mom is a month.

[Anna Feder]

Okay, type B. I have to say I've also made some. Some of my most regrettable birthday party faux pas was I did because I would do email invitations. Basically I just email the other parents. And I did have a parent who we had to change the date for some reason and she didn't get the email and she came the day after the party. And like, I still cry about that. Not literally cry, but I still feel really bad.

[Andrea]

All right, let's hear your worst case birthday celebration.

[Jodi Mercier]

Like the worst birthday party we ever had.

[Anna Feder]

Yeah.

[Jodi Mercier]

So I. We had the cops called on a second grader's birthday party one time.

[Andrea]

Oh, tell us more.

[Jodi Mercier]

We have an unfortunate downstairs neighbor. And I had. It was probably too big for our apartment party, but it was a Monday afternoon, a school day. It was 4 o' clock in the afternoon, and the police showed up at my door and we were watching. It was supposed to be a Star wars movie party, so it should have been a relatively calm situation. But a bunch of second graders watching Star wars eventually got a hold of the lightsabers. So maybe there was some lightsaber battles happening in the hallway.

[Andrea]

Could have been. Maybe.

[Jodi Mercier]

I didn't see it when the police showed up and saw the chaos. And they're like, we've had a complaint. I'm like, it's Monday at 4:00pm they're like, when is the party over, ma'? Am? I'm like, at six o'. Clock. It's a school night. They're like, great, Have a nice day.

[Andrea]

Let's talk to Deborah from Croton and Hudson. Hi, Deborah, thanks for calling all of it.

[Caller]

Hi. So we always had some out of the box birthday parties and this one memorable one, I think my daughter was around eight. We had a murder mystery party and at the end my husband was deemed guilty to. And what he didn't know is that I had called the police department in my little village in northern Westchester and they were kind enough to send an officer over to our driveway and handcuffed my husband, put him in the car and drove away.

[Andrea]

Wow, that's little town living. I gotta tell you. What kind of food should we have at parties? What are you thinking these days?

[Jodi Mercier]

I think stuff that you can like fix it and forget it. I don't want to be fussing in the kitchen. I want to be enjoying the party too.

[Andrea]

What do you think about birthday cake?

[Anna Feder]

Man, I love birthday cake. I think we were actually, you know, birthday cakes, pre bought birthday cakes can be kind of pricey.

[Jodi Mercier]

Yes.

[Anna Feder]

I think like I sometimes buy Whole Foods cupcakes. You can even let the kids decorate them. That's a kind of more affordable option and still just as good.

[Andrea]

Yeah, all my kids love they did that. It was so much fun. They said we threw my 10 year old a Rick Astley birthday party. Never Gonna Give youe Up played over and over. Sunglasses, Rick Astley buttons and cake. Let's talk to Kathy in Franklin Township, New Jersey. Hi Kathy.

[Caller]

Hi. I had an eight year old boy party with eight boys. And of course eight year old boys become kind of a gang. And I had hired a storyteller to start telling stories. Halfway through the boys exited to downstairs to the playroom, started throwing couch cushions. Initially I tried to rope them back in. Finally I just said just go for it. And they did that till our parents came. And when the parents came, they said this is the best birthday party we ever went to.

[Andrea]

Aw, that's a great story. Thanks so much. For people who want more information, could you give them your website?

[Anna Feder]

It's Mommy Poppins.com and yes, we have a birthday party guide there with both local activity places and also homespun party ideas.

[Andrea]

Anna Feder and Jodi Mercier, thanks for your time today.

[Jodi Mercier]

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[Alison Stewart]

And that is all of It.

[Andrea]

All of it is produced by Andrea.

[Alison Stewart]

Duncan Mao, Kate Hines, Jordan Loft, Simon Close, Zach Goderer Cohen El Malik Anderson and Luke Greene. Megan Rine is the head of Live Radio. Our our engineer is Shana Sengstock. We had production help from Jason Isaac. If you missed any of our segments this week, catch up by listening to our podcast available on your podcast platform of choice.

[Andrea]

If you like what you hear, please.

[Alison Stewart]

Leave us a great rating. I'm Alison Stewart. I appreciate you listening and I appreciate you. I will meet you back here next time.

[LifeLock Advertiser]

It's tax season, and at LifeLock, we know you're tired of numbers, but here's a big one you need to hear. Billions. That's the amount of money and refunds the IRS has flagged for possible identity fraud. Now here's another big number. 100 million. That's how many data points LifeLock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it. Guaranteed. One last big number. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com specialoffer for the threats you can't control. Terms apply.

[Alison Stewart]

Since WNYC's first broadcast in 1924, we've been dedicated to creating the kind of content we know the world needs. In addition to this award winning reporting, your sponsorship also supports inspiring storytelling and extraordinary music that is free and accessible to all. To get in touch and find out more, visit sponsorship.wnyc.org.