ALL OF IT with Alison Stewart: "Managing Unexpected Situations"
Episode Date: July 1, 2024
Host: Alison Stewart
Featured Guest: Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and writer
Theme: Navigating sudden life changes, resilience, and the power of shared stories
Brief Overview
In this emotionally resonant episode, host Alison Stewart returns to the WNYC studio after her own experience with sudden brain trauma and rehabilitation. Engaging in open conversation with acclaimed psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb, Alison and her community of listeners share stories and practical insights on managing unexpected, life-altering situations. The episode underscores the importance of patience, vulnerability, and connection when facing immense changes, highlighting both professional perspectives and deeply personal accounts from callers and texters.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Alison Stewart’s Journey and the Challenge of Adjustment
- Alison’s Return: Opens up about her brain surgery and the subsequent period of rehabilitation, including struggles with aphasia—a communication disorder.
- Navigating Change: Details the necessity of planning every step and the loss of “autopilot” in daily life.
- “Like it or not, I have to exactly map out where I want to go, what subway I’m taking. Plan in advance. Somebody told me: I have no autopilot.” —Alison, [03:29]
2. Interview with Lori Gottlieb: Coping, Resilience, and Asking for Help
[02:40–06:33]
On Handling Frustration and Change
- Lori Gottlieb emphasizes patience and recognizing small improvements:
- "We take our bodies for granted, and when something goes wrong, we are not prepared for it... What are the small improvements that are happening? What can you do better today than you did yesterday?" —Lori Gottlieb, [03:14]
- Importance of grieving loss before focusing on positives:
- "People need to make space for the grieving process because there is a loss... It’s really important to... not just stuff down your emotions or say, well, at least I’m getting better, so I shouldn’t feel sad." —Lori Gottlieb, [03:50]
On Wanting to Give Up and Finding Resilience
- Recognizes moments of despair, but highlights the tiny spark that helps people continue:
- "Maybe it’s 0.01%, that is the quiet part of you that is kind of drowned out... And it’s really about accessing that, that small part of you that says, I really, really want to go on.” —Lori Gottlieb, [05:20]
On Asking for Help
- Lori strongly advises reaching out:
- "People love it when you ask for their help because it shows them that they are important to you... you find your strongest friendships and the most important experiences of your life when you reach out to people." —Lori Gottlieb, [05:52]
3. Community Stories: Listeners Share Their Own Unexpected Events
[08:30–16:30]
Robin, Long Island City: Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor
- Shared her experience in 2001 with West Nile Virus-induced brain injury and aphasia.
- Emphasized the critical role of therapy in her recovery.
Sandra, Brooklyn: Parenting Through Her Child’s Stroke
- Mother of a teenager who suffered a stroke at 13.
- Key lesson: The value of slowing down, flexibility, and incremental progress:
- “We really privilege speed and we need to kind of slow down. And it’s okay to slow down and to tell a 13-year-old teen over the past four years it’s okay to slow down.” —Sandra, [12:25]
- Praised the Rusk Rehab staff and raised awareness about inpatient pediatric rehab closures in NYC during COVID.
Elizabeth, Hastings: Coping with Partner’s Sudden Death
- Described adjusting after her husband’s unexpected passing from a routine surgery.
- The importance of presence and listening over “fixing”:
- "Just people just sitting and not saying much but just showing that they were there." —Elizabeth, [14:45]
- Reflected on her sister’s lifelong aphasia, underscoring the long-term impacts of brain trauma.
Text Submissions
- Listeners express support for Alison and share their own struggles with injuries and depression after recovery.
Notable Quotes & Moments
-
On Being Vulnerable in Recovery:
“There have been times when I just wanted to give up, when I just couldn’t finish a sentence… What do we do when we want to give up? Where do we find resilience?”
—Alison Stewart, [04:48] -
On Supplying Words During Aphasia:
“I have to learn to find the word myself... The instinct to step in—perfect.”
—Alison Stewart, [15:28] -
On the Healing Power of Shared Experience:
“Every time I learn of someone else who has been through something comparable, I am grateful.”
—Listener text, [16:00]
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:40 | Alison introduces Lori Gottlieb, setting the stage for the discussion | | 02:51 | Handling frustration after sudden illness and disability | | 03:29 | Navigating change, loss, and grief | | 04:48 | What to do when you want to give up; the nature of resilience | | 05:52 | How and why to ask for help | | 08:30 | Listener calls begin | | 09:12 | Robin, Long Island City, shares story of recovery | | 10:55 | Sandra, Brooklyn, speaks about her child’s stroke and recovery | | 14:09 | Elizabeth, Hastings, on loss and support | | 15:28 | Discussion on aphasia and support | | 16:00 | Listener texts: shared experiences |
Tone and Language
- Open, empathetic, and direct discussion of serious, sometimes painful experiences.
- Supportive, at times lightly humorous, tone especially in exchanges about aphasia.
- Strong sense of community—both host and listeners making themselves vulnerable and encouraging others.
Memorable and Moving Moments
- Alison’s candid discussion of losing “autopilot” in daily life, needing to re-learn basic routines.
- Lori Gottlieb’s gentle reframing of healing—not as linear, but as a process that demands honoring grief and incremental improvement.
- Listeners' stories illustrating that despite diverse situations, shared empathy and authentic connection are healing forces.
For listeners facing abrupt change or supporting someone who is, this episode serves as a reminder: Recovery is not just medical, but emotional and communal. Patience, flexibility, and honest connection—whether through asking for help, or simply being present—shape the journey through even the most unexpected situations.