Maris Kreizman and Josh Gondelman Talk Partnership, Hope and Life Together

Summary

All Of It: Maris Kreizman and Josh Gondelman Talk Partnership, Hope, and Life Together

Podcast Information:

• Title: All Of It
• Host: Alison Stewart
• Release Date: June 25, 2025
• Guests: Maris Kreizman (Author of I Want to Burn This Place Down) and Josh Gondelman (Comedian with special Positive Reinforcement)
• Description: ALL OF IT explores culture and its consumers, engaging thinkers, doers, and creators to delve into the "what and why" of their work. Hosted by Alison Stewart, the show fosters a community that values diverse perspectives, reflecting the vibrancy of New York City.

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**1. Introduction to the Guests

Alison Stewart welcomes listeners back to All Of It, introducing the episode's guests, Maris Kreizman and Josh Gondelman. Maris has recently published her book, I Want to Burn This Place Down, while Josh has released a comedy special titled Positive Reinforcement. Both are acclaimed writers based in Brooklyn, bringing their creative endeavors to the forefront of the conversation.

Alison Stewart (00:29): "They are two well-known writers living in Brooklyn and they both have creative work for you to enjoy coming out at the same time."

2. Collaboration and Feedback in Writing

The conversation begins with Josh discussing his collaborative process with Maris. He describes Maris as his first reader for jokes, highlighting the importance of honest feedback in his comedic work.

Josh Gondelman (01:10): "Maris is my first reader for jokes and by that I talk her ear off all the time and she's extremely gracious about it."

Maris adds that while Josh is generally kind, he also has a playful side that emerges among friends and within their marriage.

Maris Kreizman (02:14): "He's kind. And that's a big difference, because my favorite Josh is talking smack Josh."

3. Relationship Dynamics and Humor

Exploring the dynamics of their relationship, Josh emphasizes the value of Maris's feedback and her role in refining his jokes without diminishing his creative spirit.

Josh Gondelman (01:23): "If I ask her, it's because I want to know what she thinks. And often it'll be like an idea that I think is popping out doesn't come across quite as vividly as I thought."

Maris reflects on Josh's ability to balance kindness with humor, fostering a supportive and joyful partnership.

4. Meeting and Dating Journey

Maris shares her past cynicism about love and societal expectations that one must "work on yourself" before being worthy of love—a notion that was transformed upon meeting Josh.

Maris Kreizman (02:59): "I met Josh one day and everything changed, and I didn't do anything to myself. And that is an amazing lesson."

They recount their first meeting at a blog's third birthday party hosted by Maris, highlighting the serendipitous nature of their relationship.

Maris Kreizman (03:35): "This is the most 2015 thing ever, which is that I was hosting an after party for my blog's third birthday party."

Josh Gondelman (04:02): "We knew of each other, but didn't know each other, and we just got along immediately. It was like, really special and wonderful, and I'm glad."

5. Navigating Together as Writers

Addressing potential challenges of being a writing couple, they discuss managing egos and ensuring mutual support without letting professional identities interfere with their personal relationship.

Maris Kreizman (04:45): "I can see in other relationships that maybe the egos get in the way. Two writers in the house. But I think we do a really good job."

6. Mutual Support and Pep Talks

Pep talks play a significant role in their relationship. While Josh is known for offering encouragement, Maris also provides the same support, creating a balanced and nurturing environment.

Josh Gondelman (05:47): "I try to be encouraging of Maris...I think Joshua's skill is I give him pep talks because he is the person I love, and he spreads joy to other people."

Maris Kreizman (06:07): "It's often an outfit. But I think Joshua's skill is I give him pep talks because he is the person I love, and he spreads joy to other people."

7. Overcoming Health Challenges Together

A poignant moment in the conversation revolves around an incident during their wedding anniversary dinner in Miami, where Maris experienced a spike in blood sugar levels. Maris emphasizes the importance of Josh's support during health crises.

Maris Kreizman (09:15): "I could tell Josh what was happening and he would support me, and then I could try to look up from my phone and engage in dinner."

Josh Gondelman (10:05): "The first priority is always like, are you okay? And what can we do to help you feel okay and that, you know..."

This exchange underscores the depth of their partnership and the unwavering support they offer each other during challenging times.

8. Embracing New York City

Both Maris and Josh discuss their identities as New Yorkers, reflecting on their gradual immersion into the city's culture and community. For Josh, adopting a local sports team was a significant step in feeling truly part of New York.

Josh Gondelman (11:30): "I think adopting a sports team was like, oh, I, like, am really."

Maris shares her realization that many suburban myths about New York City are false, leading her to embrace the city's social and cultural landscape more fully.

Maris Kreizman (12:37): "I started to realize that a lot of the suburban myths about New York City are just not true."

9. Affordable Date Ideas in New York

Recognizing the high costs associated with dating in New York City, Maris and Josh offer creative and budget-friendly date suggestions:

• Josh: Recommends exploring new parks and enjoying activities like walking with coffee or visiting The Met, which offers a "pay what you want" option.

  Josh Gondelman (13:08): "We would go to parks we haven't been to and just like, have a nice park, walk with coffee and that's really fun."

• Maris: Prefers simple, intimate outings such as walking to Brooklyn Bridge Park's pier for cocktails and enjoying the river view.

  Maris Kreizman (13:44): "We would often walk to the pier at Brooklyn Bridge Park and get to go cocktails and sit on the bench and look out at the river and enjoy them together."

These suggestions highlight the couple's ability to find joy in simple, meaningful experiences without the pressure of high expenses.

**10. Highlights and Insights

Throughout the episode, Maris and Josh offer valuable insights into maintaining a healthy, supportive, and creatively stimulating relationship. Their discussions emphasize:

• Communication: Open and honest feedback is crucial, especially in creative partnerships.
• Support: Mutual encouragement and understanding strengthen their bond.
• Adaptability: Embracing each other's differences and navigating challenges together fosters resilience.
• Community Engagement: Immersing themselves in the vibrant culture of New York City enhances their personal and professional lives.

Josh Gondelman (07:31): "What I did was so beautiful with it, so."

Maris Kreizman (08:29): "Lucky in that I don't think there's anything that I could have done to change what had happened."

Their journey serves as an inspiring model for couples balancing personal relationships with creative careers, all while thriving in the dynamic environment of New York City.

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Discover More:

• Maris Kreizman: I Want to Burn This Place Down
• Josh Gondelman: Positive Reinforcement

Thank you, Maris and Josh, for sharing your heartfelt and humorous insights on All Of It. Your stories illustrate the beauty of partnership, creativity, and the vibrant culture that defines New York City.

Transcript

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[Alison Stewart]

This is all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart. We are back with Josh Gondelman and Maris Kreitzman. He has a new special out called Positive Reinforcement. She has a new book out called I Want to Burn this Place Down. They are two well known writers living in Brooklyn and they both have creative work for you to enjoy coming out at the same time. It sounds like a sitcom but it is real life. So we thought we would talk to both of them. Thank you for sticking around.

[Maris Kreitzman]

Oh, what a pleasure.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, thanks for having us, listeners.

[Alison Stewart]

If you have a question for Josh Amarist, you can give us a call. 2124-3396-9212-4433. WNYC. So you're both writers. Josh, do you solicit feedback from Maris on your jokes?

[Josh Gondelman]

I do. Maris is my first reader for jokes and by that I mean I talk her ear off all the time and she's extremely gracious about it. Yes.

[Alison Stewart]

How do you respond if the feedback from Maris isn't what you expect?

[Josh Gondelman]

I try to take feedback in stride from my beloved wife and not to be grumpy about it, but I, I think she's really smart and astute about joke stuff. And I think there it's, you know, if I ask her, it's because I want to know what she thinks. And often it'll be like an idea that I think is popping out doesn't come across quite as vividly as I thought. It's usually not like that's not, it's, you know, she's never said that's not funny and you're a bad person for saying it. So I take it in stride and I appreciate her time. She's like a very busy, creative person doing her own brilliant work. And then I kind of tap her on the shoulder and go, hey, Mary, I had this idea about like, what if pizzas could be divisible by the number of people that you have instead of just always ate slices.

[Maris Kreitzman]

And she's like, okay, that's something you.

[Alison Stewart]

Write in your book because Josh is known as a friendly guy, a nice guy, but you write in your book he's not exactly nice.

[Maris Kreitzman]

He's kind. And that's A big difference, because my favorite Josh is talking smack Josh.

[Josh Gondelman]

It is fun. Yeah. And that I feel like you get to see that side of me the most. The way it really comes out is if you're married to me. So it's not really on offer for everyone at all times, but it is, like, amongst friends, I get a little snotty at times.

[Alison Stewart]

Maris, you write about what life was like before Josh, what dating was like before Josh. When you met him, how did it change your perspective and your perspective on love?

[Maris Kreitzman]

I was the biggest cynic, and I was taking romantic advice from everywhere. And I was always told, you have to work on yourself before you deserve you will be worthy of love. And that just didn't happen. Like, I met Josh one day and everything changed, and I didn't do anything to myself. And that is an amazing lesson.

[Josh Gondelman]

In your defense, I had also not been working on myself.

[Alison Stewart]

What was your first.

[Listener]

When did you first meet?

[Josh Gondelman]

Do you want to tell a little story?

[Maris Kreitzman]

Sure. This is the most 2015 thing ever, which is that I was hosting an after party for my blog's third birthday party.

[Josh Gondelman]

And not just a blog. It was a Tumblr, which is, I think, an important carbon date.

[Maris Kreitzman]

Yes. Slaughterhouse 90210 is the name. And a friend of a friend came with Josh, and that was it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, I was brought by a friend. A friend, a mutual friend that we had both just met brought me to this party, and we knew of each other, but didn't know each other, and we just got along immediately. It was like, really? Yeah. Really special and wonderful, and I'm glad. I was really in a. Sure. I'll just do whatever anybody asks me to do, period. I was, like, very unattached, except for I had just gotten a job. And so I was like, I'll just stay up as late as I want and go to whatever party I want and then just drag myself to the office. And I'm so glad I did. It's the best decision I've ever made.

[Listener]

Did you have any concern about dating a writer?

[Maris Kreitzman]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I was always told, date a businessman, you know, And I was.

[Josh Gondelman]

Always told, be a businessman.

[Maris Kreitzman]

And I can see in other relationships that maybe the egos get in the way. Two writers in the house. But I think we do a really good job.

[Listener]

Have you ever been inspired by the same thing when you're writing?

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, that's really interesting. I think even when we are, like. Even when we talk about the same stuff. Like, I heard you talking about your brothers and stuff, and that, like, you wrote this really thoughtful, wonderful essay about growing up with them and having these political differences. And I, like you said, I just wrote a stupid joke about how getting pulled over by twins makes you think you're drunk even when you're not.

[Listener]

We've got a message here, a text that says, who does the pep talks in the relationship? Or are they both skilled at them? Josh, you're well known for your pep talks.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Listener]

On different social media and say, hey, you need a pep talk, I'm here for it.

[Josh Gondelman]

I think it's mutual. I try to be encouraging of Maris, and truly, I am so indecisive about certain things where I think probably several times a year, I, like, walk into the living room, like, are these clothes an outfit?

[Maris Kreitzman]

Or.

[Josh Gondelman]

It was just. Or are they just all clothes?

[Maris Kreitzman]

And I usually tell you it's an outfit.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's often an outfit.

[Maris Kreitzman]

It's often an outfit. But I think Joshua's skill is I give him pep talks because he is the person I love, and he spreads joy to other people. And I think that is so lovely.

[Listener]

We're joined by Josh Godelman and Maris Kreitzman. She has a book out. He has a comedy special out, and they are both my guests. If you have a question for Josh or Maris, you can call or text us at 2124-3396-9221-2433. WNYC. Josh, in your special, you talk about dating before you met Maris.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes.

[Listener]

I'm glad. Before you met Maris, did you check with her? To check with her. Is it okay for you to discuss this with people?

[Josh Gondelman]

I don't think I specifically checked in about that. I usually, like, do a temperature check just. And, like, try to kind of keep her in the loop because I think sometimes it gets back to her, what I've been saying outside.

[Listener]

Always.

[Maris Kreitzman]

I always know.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. And so I want you to know what I'm saying. But it wasn't, like, a permission thing. Usually I only ask if I'm like, I'm saying a fact about you. Are you okay with strangers knowing this?

[Maris Kreitzman]

And I know his ex, and so I was prepared, and I think what you did was so beautiful with it, so.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, thank you.

[Alison Stewart]

What did you learn about dating before you met Maris?

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, good question. I mean, I think I learned as much when we met as I did the whole time before, because I think, like, people talk about how relationships are work, and I think I'm not the first person to say that. That feels like people are giving you permission to, like, Stay in a relationship when it's hard or doesn't feel right. And I think I learned from meeting Maris that, like, the work is cultivating something together with a person you really love and care about, not like sanding off the edges of a square peg till it fits in a round hole. That's not an anatomical thing.

[Alison Stewart]

Marish, you write in the book about the first time you went out that you said that you got lucky with Josh.

[Maris Kreitzman]

Yes.

[Alison Stewart]

What did you mean by lucky?

[Maris Kreitzman]

Lucky in that I don't think there's anything that I could have done to change what had happened. I don't think it was a thing where I had to put on my bootstraps, my dating bootstra, and pursue it as a career. It's just we met, and it worked out.

[Alison Stewart]

You tell a tale in the book.

[Listener]

About going to dinner with Josh, and your blood sugar went nuts, and you.

[Alison Stewart]

Had to really react in the moment. Tell us what happened during that dinner date, and what did that moment teach.

[Listener]

You about your relationship?

[Maris Kreitzman]

So it was our wedding anniversary, and we were at Q in Miami. Miami. And I'd been looking forward to this meal. It was, like, one of our first trips out post lockdown. And I'd been looking forward to this meal for so long. And then my blood sugar started going up and up and up before I even, like, tried the fun food.

[Listener]

And.

[Maris Kreitzman]

I wasn't able to enjoy any part of the meal at all. And that's okay. That's okay. But what I most wanted to take away from this was the idea that I could tell Josh what was happening and he would support me, and then I could try to look up from my phone and engage in dinner.

[Listener]

What was going on for you during that, Josh?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I mean, I knew we'd been together for a long time at that point, and so I kind of knew what the deal was when her blood sugar gets like this. And I just wanted to make sure that I was doing whatever I could to make sure that evening was, like, as. As gentle and untaxing on Maris as I could. So it's a lot of, like, you know, like, do you. Do we need to leave? And that's always okay. Like, the first priority is always like, are you okay? And what can we do to help you feel okay and that, you know, and then it's like, okay, can I still have ribs? But, like, the first priority is, what can we do to make you feel comfortable and healthy and. All right.

[Listener]

Did you want Josh to continue enjoying the meal?

[Maris Kreitzman]

Very much.

[Listener]

That must have been a hard thing to figure out for yourself?

[Maris Kreitzman]

No, I've done it for long enough that I know how important it is to enjoy a good meal. And if I can't, I would like to watch Josh do it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, I was eating for two, just kind of spiritually. There wasn't like a second person getting nutrition from it. I was just like making a real show of it. That's what you wanted, right? You wanted me to take a bite of ice cream and go like, yummy.

[Maris Kreitzman]

Exactly.

[Listener]

A big part of your story is that you live in New York. You're New Yorkers. Josh, when did you become a New Yorker?

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, that's such a good question. I don't know. You know, what really makes. I've been talking about this a lot, but, like, what really made me feel like a New Yorker was like, a few years ago. I've been in the city for about 14 years and at about the 11 year mark, when the, the New York Liberty, the WNBA team moved back to New York, I was like, oh, I have a sports team here and that. I like, never adopted any of the other New York teams because they felt too much like rivals. And I felt too, you know, I still feel clinging to my roots in Massachusetts, but that really felt like a New York thing. But also it's like this kind of slow progression of like, my life is here. Like, I met Maris here and we've only lived here together and our dog has only known us as living here. And like so many, it seems like the tipping point where, like, most of the people I know are here. And so it really was like this slow thing. But I think adopting a sports team was like, oh, I, like, am really.

[Listener]

How about for you?

[Maris Kreitzman]

I think as we were talking about earlier, it was when I started to realize that a lot of the suburban myths about New York City are just not true. And you know, that the subway is safe and that I don't always have to be on my guard all the time. And maybe I would even want to make friends with and talk to my neighbors.

[Listener]

All right, our next conversation, Josh and Maris, is about going on cheap dates because this place can be expensive. What are your suggestions?

[Josh Gondelman]

Do you. Oh, me first. So we. It depends on. I think it depends a little on like, first date or down the line date. But we've gotten really into like last summer we got really into going on little adventures. Like we, we would go to parks we haven't been to and just like, have a nice park, walk with coffee and that's really fun. And then like the The Met is like such a great New Yorker date where it's like a pay what you want and you go and it's and you walk around, you get to know someone and you're doing an activ. Even when it is cheap, it doesn't feel cheap.

[Listener]

How about for you? What's your best cheap date?

[Maris Kreitzman]

Oh, especially during COVID we would often walk to the pier at Brooklyn Bridge park and get to go cocktails and sit on the bench and look out at the river and enjoy them together. And that was perfect.

[Alison Stewart]

Maris Kreitzman's book is called I Wanna Burn this Place Down. Josh Galliman's comedy special is positive reinforcement. Thank you both for being with us. We really appreciate it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Thank you for having me.

[Maris Kreitzman]

Thank you, Allison.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, it was a pleasure.

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