Podcast Summary: "Money and Mental Health: Ask a Financial Therapist"

Podcast: All Of It
Host: Alison Stewart (WNYC)
Guest: Asia Evans, board-certified therapist specializing in financial therapy, author of Feel Good Finance
Date: November 12, 2025

Main Theme / Episode Purpose

This episode explores the often-overlooked psychological side of money by interviewing Asia Evans, a financial therapist and president of the Financial Therapy Association. The discussion centers on how emotional patterns, mental health, and childhood experiences shape our relationship with money—and conversely, how financial matters impact our mental well-being. Listeners call in to share stories and ask advice about avoidance, trauma, generational attitudes, and the stigma around financial struggles.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Why is Money So Fraught with Emotion?

• Asia Evans on money’s emotional power:

  “I can't think of anything that's going to be more emotional than ‘Can I take care of my family? Can I take care of myself?’... It is very fraught with emotion, and a lot of times it's coming from when we were growing up.” (02:25)

• Traditional financial advice tends to treat money as unemotional, but Evans argues our feelings about money are deeply rooted in personal and family histories.

2. Mental Health as a Precursor to Good Financial Health

• Society stigmatizes “mental health,” making people reluctant to see its connection with everyday functioning—including finances.

  • “All of us have to deal with our mental health. It literally is how are we feeling, what's going on with our emotions, our psychology—it is baked into our humanness.” (03:06)

• Emotional struggles around money aren’t moral failings; they are normal human reactions.

3. What Does a Financial Therapist Do?

• Evans provides talk therapy focused on emotional, behavioral, relational, and psychological needs—processing clients’ “money stories” without giving direct financial advice.

  • “I am not going to be hanging out in your accounts... I leave that up to the financial professionals.” (04:17)

• Differentiation from financial advisors/planners is crucial.

4. The Problem of Avoidance

• “Avoidance” is a common and damaging response to financial anxiety:
  • Not opening financial correspondence, dodging necessary tasks, or delaying hard conversations.

  • “You're not in a way purposefully dodging, but kind of like, 'I'll get to it'—and there's never a time where you come back to it.” (05:36)

• This can create a cycle where stress about money leads to neglect, which then compounds the problem.

5. Breaking the Financial Stress Loop

• Practical advice:
  • Don’t attempt to deal with finances when in “crisis” mode; first, self-soothe (deep breaths, calming down).

    • “If you are in crisis... that is not the time to look at your money.” (07:05)

  • Once calm, honestly assess income vs. expenses and make a simple plan.
  • Many people aren't clear on their exact numbers and must confront reality to make progress.

6. Childhood and Money Narratives

• Experiences that shape adult money behaviors are varied—not just about wealth or scarcity.
  • Parental fights, moves, manipulations, or even denied wants can all be formative.

  • “Sometimes it's, 'We have the resources, but the answer was still no.'” (09:15)

• Host Alison Stewart shares a personal story about her Depression-era mother hoarding wrapping paper, highlighting generational frugality:

  • “It was such a big deal for her to just give away a bow...” (11:42)

7. Caller Stories and Listener Questions

• Sabina, Staten Island: Describes severe avoidance, missing court dates for child support and letting bills snowball.
• Gretchen, Brooklyn: Asks if it’s appropriate to broach money anxiety with a “cheap” (but wealthy) friend.
  • Evans recommends gentle, gradual conversations about money.

    • “I would start out with, ‘Hey, I am finding myself wanting to learn more about money...’ and open it up and see how your friend responds.” (14:34)

• Abby, Riverdale: Shares that even after decades of therapy and sobriety, unhealthy beliefs about money persist—specifically, a fear that wealth will disconnect her from “common people.”
  • Evans: It takes time; these are deep-seated identity beliefs shaped by upbringing and social context.

8. Scarcity Mindset Even with Enough Money

• Listener text: “I have always felt I can't spend and will never have enough... I have no sense of what’s enough.”
  • Evans:
    • Assess “excess” after needs are covered.
    • Reflect: “What does it say about you to spend money on wants?”

    • “Money is a tool... If there is room for extra, then you should enjoy it... That could be charitable giving, buying a new sweater, traveling...” (17:24)

9. Historical and Societal Roots

• Family customs, societal restrictions, and generational trauma influence how we manage finances.
  • Example: Women only gained independent credit access in 1974.

    • “That impacts how we will think about money because... she couldn't get a house, she couldn't get a credit card.” (19:05)

10. Building a ‘Growth’ Mindset and Tackling ‘Money Hoarding’

• For those with no “excess,” focus is survival. For others, use surplus for investing, not only saving.

  • “I have a chapter in my book called Money Hoarders... people who save way too much money and are sitting on... tens of thousands in checking.” (20:43)

• Professional help and small, credible actions can empower wealth-building.

11. Therapy Accessibility and DIY Steps

• Evans suggests seeking therapy where possible, but also:
  • Read books/podcasts (like her book)
  • Try financial coaching or journaling

    • “Start journaling...what are the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that come up and what might you do differently?” (22:25)

  • Write your “money autobiography” to identify personal patterns.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Asia Evans on stigma:

  “Whenever you hear words, ‘mental health’ or ‘anxiety’ or ‘depression’, the lights start flashing... as if it’s a moral failing. And that’s just not the case.” (03:06)

• On avoidance cycles:

  “It kind of snowballed into avoiding emails about different bills...I did have the funds, but it's just opening those emails...and it just keeps snowballing.” (13:41, Sabina)

• On talking money with friends:

  “We want to be gentle and this can be really difficult and very vulnerable for her to share...slowly build up rapport...” (14:34)

• Money beliefs as identity:

  “Who am I [if I have money]? That’s a lot of identity work, and that can be really difficult to go into.” (16:15)

• Societal impact on women and finance:

  “It wasn’t until 1974 that we could get credit or a mortgage by ourselves...if you were raised by someone who was an adult before 1974 and is a woman, she couldn’t get a house, she couldn’t get a credit card...” (19:05)

Key Timestamps

• 02:25 — Why money is emotional
• 03:06 — Mental health as everyday experience
• 04:17 — What financial therapy encompasses
• 05:36 — Defining and recognizing avoidance
• 07:05 — Tips for breaking the financial anxiety cycle
• 09:15 — Childhood experiences shaping adult money habits
• 11:42 — Generational influences: Story from Alison Stewart
• 13:41 — Caller Sabina: Avoidance and consequences
• 14:34 — How to talk with friends about financial anxiety
• 16:15 — Caller Abby: Money beliefs and identity
• 17:24 — “How much is enough?” and learning to enjoy excess
• 19:05 — Historical and societal roots of money narratives
• 20:43 — When to consider growing wealth vs. stabilizing finances
• 22:25 — DIY approaches for those without access to therapy

Tone & Language

The conversation is warm, empathetic, and accessible, focusing on normalizing the emotional complexity of money. Both the host and guest encourage openness and self-kindness, modeling nonjudgmental approaches to topics often fraught with shame.

Summary Takeaways

• Everyone has a “money story,” and recognizing its roots (personal, family, societal history) is crucial to achieving financial—and emotional—well-being.
• Avoiding financial issues is common and often cyclical, but small, gentle steps towards clarity and openness help break the loop.
• Social support, self-reflection, and a willingness to question internalized beliefs can shift lifelong money patterns.
• Even those who “have enough” can suffer from anxiety about spending or guilt, often tied to identity and upbringing.
• Financial therapy addresses the psychological side; financial professionals handle concrete advice. Both are important, and knowing their boundaries matters.
• Accessible tools: journaling, reading, and open conversation can be entry points for anyone beginning to untangle their relationship with money.

Recommended Next Steps for Listeners:

• Reflect on your own memories and feelings about money; try writing a money autobiography.
• Start gentle conversations about money with trusted friends or family.
• Seek credible educational resources or support, and normalize financial emotions in yourself and others.

Guest’s Book:
Asia Evans, Feel Good Finance: Untangle your relationship with money for better mental, emotional and financial well-being