All Of It: Puberty Hits Harder These Days Episode Release Date: May 30, 2025
Host: David Fuerst (in place of Alison Stewart)
Guest: Dr. Cheryl Gonzalez Ziegler, Clinical Psychologist and Author of The Crucial: The Essential Guide to Mental Health and Modern Puberty in Middle Childhood, Ages 6-12-20
Introduction
In this episode of All Of It, hosted by David Fuerst, Dr. Cheryl Gonzalez Ziegler delves into the complexities of puberty in middle childhood, exploring its profound impact on children's emotional and psychological development. Drawing from her new book, Dr. Ziegler provides insights into why puberty is occurring earlier than previous generations and offers guidance for parents navigating this challenging phase.
The Forgotten Years: Ages 6-12
[01:34] Dr. Cheryl Gonzalez Ziegler:
"In our field, they're called the forgotten years because people do tend to kind of kick back."
Dr. Ziegler highlights that children between the ages of 6 and 12 often receive less attention compared to early childhood and teenage years. This period, known as the school-age years, is critical for cognitive, emotional, and moral development. Children begin to form their identities, develop self-esteem, and acquire essential life skills.
[03:49] David Fuerst:
"If you feel like you dropped the ball during those crucial years, is there a way to repair the damage?"
Dr. Ziegler reassures parents that it's never too late to foster a healthy relationship with their children. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging past oversights and making intentional changes to support their child's ongoing development.
Early Onset of Puberty
[04:20] Dr. Cheryl Gonzalez Ziegler:
"Puberty’s happening now, earlier... while they're still trying to figure out what can I do, all of a sudden their body is developing at rates that are faster than they are emotionally."
The conversation shifts to the concerning trend of earlier puberty onset. Dr. Ziegler cites studies indicating that children are entering puberty approximately two years earlier than previous generations, a shift comparable in significance to climate change's impact. Factors contributing to this trend include obesity, socioeconomic status, exposure to environmental toxins, and increased stress or trauma.
[06:52] Dr. Cheryl Gonzalez Ziegler:
"It's a long, long process, not one and done."
Dr. Ziegler advises that discussions about puberty should begin around ages 5 or 6, establishing an ongoing dialogue rather than treating it as a singular conversation. This approach helps children understand and navigate the physical and emotional changes they will experience.
Navigating Parental Challenges
Listener calls provide real-world scenarios and questions, which Dr. Ziegler addresses with practical advice:
Claudia from Elmont ([08:21] - [11:48]):
Claudia expresses concerns about a strained relationship with her 12-year-old son regarding schoolwork and daily responsibilities. Dr. Ziegler recommends fostering independence by guiding rather than doing tasks for their children. She emphasizes the importance of allowing children to manage their own responsibilities to build self-esteem and executive functioning skills.
[11:48] David Fuerst:
"What if you feel like you dropped the ball during those crucial years?"
Dr. Ziegler responds by encouraging parents to use their past experiences as learning opportunities, demonstrating growth and commitment to better supporting their children moving forward.
Addressing Early Sexual Education
Andrea from South Salem ([14:42] - [15:05]):
Andrea seeks advice on when to discuss sex education with her nine-year-old son, who is becoming aware of his own body and differences compared to others.
[15:05] Dr. Cheryl Gonzalez Ziegler:
"You're right at the perfect time. So let me back up though, and say before you're going to jump to talking to a kid about sexual, you want to first make sure that they truly know what's happening to their own bodies."
Dr. Ziegler advises starting conversations about sexual development early, using accurate terminology and normalizing bodily changes. She also encourages discussing these topics in a comfortable and natural manner, making the information accessible and age-appropriate.
Impact of COVID-19 on Adolescent Development
Andrea's Second Call ([19:30] - [22:46]):
Andrea shares concerns about her teenage children's emotional development during the COVID-19 pandemic, noting delays and challenges in emotional growth.
[21:00] Dr. Cheryl Gonzalez Ziegler:
"Kids lost about five years of emotional Growth. So what you're doing is meeting them where they're at."
Dr. Ziegler acknowledges the significant emotional setbacks caused by the pandemic, emphasizing the need for parents to meet their children at their current emotional levels. She explains that with intentional support, children can catch up emotionally despite these delays.
Supporting Children with Special Needs
Nicole from Ridgewood, Queens ([22:46] - [25:33]):
Nicole discusses her six-year-old son's questions about his body and gender identity within a queer partnership.
[23:30] Dr. Cheryl Gonzalez Ziegler:
"You want to label his body parts as his actual body parts... Penis, scrotum, semen, sperm."
Dr. Ziegler underscores the importance of using correct anatomical terms and normalizing questions about one's body to prevent feelings of shame. She advises creating a supportive environment where children feel comfortable discussing their bodies and identities.
Evolving Challenges: The Digital Age
[29:35] David Fuerst:
"A lot has changed during that time. What would you say? A couple of the most significant things that you can mention and how your work has changed because of them?"
Dr. Ziegler points to the advent of the internet, social media, and digital technologies as transformative factors affecting children's development. She highlights the challenges of teaching digital citizenship and managing the overwhelming influx of information that children now encounter effortlessly.
[32:17] Dr. Cheryl Gonzalez Ziegler:
"Kids are capturing content on YouTube better than us to. And it starts off seeming very innocent. Before you know it, they're hearing about adult issues like climate change, which leads to increased anxiety and depression."
She emphasizes the necessity for parents and educators to guide children in navigating digital spaces responsibly, ensuring they develop critical thinking skills to discern credible information and manage their emotional responses to pervasive media content.
Conclusion
In this episode, Dr. Cheryl Gonzalez Ziegler provides a comprehensive exploration of puberty in middle childhood, emphasizing the importance of early and ongoing communication between parents and children. She addresses the rising trend of early puberty, the unique challenges posed by the digital age, and offers practical strategies for fostering emotional resilience and independence in children. Dr. Ziegler's insights serve as a valuable resource for parents seeking to support their children through one of the most pivotal stages of development.
For those interested in a deeper dive, Dr. Ziegler's book, The Crucial: The Essential Guide to Mental Health and Modern Puberty in Middle Childhood, Ages 6-12-20, offers extensive guidance and resources.