Tig Notaro (3:17)

Thank you for having me.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (3:18)

Absolutely. It's a pleasure to have you here. You know, the film was written by Lauren Pomerantz and it's a comedic journey about self discovery, especially about coming out later in life. I'm wondering what resonated with you the most about the script when you first read it. Was this a story you had heard before?

Tig Notaro (3:37)

Well, yeah, I mean, Lauren and I had worked together on a few projects previously and just had so much fun together. And I was aware of her story to some degree, but reading the script when it was sent was like, oh, wow, this is so interesting to read my friend's story. Obviously it's not fully a true story, but it's, it's very heavily a true story. And, and my wife was kind of later in life coming out as well. And I think that that just really spoke to us and we, and, and felt like that this wasn't a story that was commonly told in TV and film.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (4:29)

Yeah. You co directed this with your wife, co director Stephanie Allen. And like you said, I understand that your wife related to being a late bloomer. She has said that coming out late in life was like, quote, grieving the life when she didn't live her truest self. Do you resonate with that at all?

Tig Notaro (4:50)

With my own personal experience, yeah.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (4:52)

And just feeling that as you were reading the script, thinking back to your. To your wife's experience as well?

Tig Notaro (4:58)

Oh, yeah. I mean, for sure. Stephanie. It's so crazy. I mean, she's to some degree the same person that I met in 2012, but also she's just really, really found herself. And I see that also just in, in Lauren, even though I, I knew her after she came out, I can see those glimpses of her and that just that part of her that was. I'm like obviously watching this film going, oh, yeah, I, of course that's how Lauren handled it. And of course that's how it went down. And, and yeah, yeah, it definitely resonates.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (5:45)

And we see it through, through Lucy, who is the protagonist of the story. She tells her best friend Jane that she might not be into guys and Something I really appreciated while I was watching this movie was that it happens in maybe the first 20 minutes of the film and it's a short, emotional conversation in Jane's bedroom. Now, for some other movies, that might have been the ending, but here it's just the beginning. Can you tell us more about the journey that Lucy's about to go on?

Tig Notaro (6:09)

I'm sorry, I. What did you say? Could I tell what.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (6:12)

Tell us a bit more about the journey that Lucy is about to go on in this movie?

Tig Notaro (6:17)

Well, I mean, it is such a, I mean, obviously a coming out story, but also it's a story about friends. And so that journey is just, I mean, it's all of that woven in of, of coming to a more honest place with yourself and those around you and, and finding, finding yourself no matter, no matter what age, no matter what age you are. And it's, it really is brave when, when you've set sail in one direction in life and you go, you know what? This does not feel right. And I'm just going to go ahead and switch directions. No matter how old I am, no matter how in my job or life or city that I live in, it doesn't feel right and I'm going to make the change.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (7:20)

We see that courage. We also see anxiety, I would say too, in Lucy's character. I mean, we hear her showing up late to a hangout in the movie because she was, quote, it's one of my favorite lines in the movie, Googling about butt herpes. And I'm just wondering how does, does anxiety also drive Lucy's decisions throughout the film?

Tig Notaro (7:40)

Excuse me? Oh my gosh. It's, it's, I have to say, like Dakota Johnson's performance, I just think is so, so incredible. And I think she really, really nails that awkwardness and the anxiety and the fumbling and as uncomfortable and awkward as it is, it's just so human and natural and, but you know, she gets to where she's going and that's, that's the, yeah, exciting and courageous part of it all.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (8:26)

Let's listen to how we see this anxiety play out in the film. Here's Lucy and Jane about trying out online dating.

Interviewer (Kusha Navadar) (8:34)

Can I ask you something? Why don't you think you have to date like everyone else? No one's gonna ring on your doorbell one day looking for a wishy washy lesbian who might want to try some stuff.

Tig Notaro (8:43)

You don't know that for sure.

Interviewer (Kusha Navadar) (8:46)

Come on, two at a time. Squeeze your cheeks.

Tig Notaro (8:49)

This is different.

Interviewer (Kusha Navadar) (8:50)

How's it different?

Tig Notaro (8:52)

Because what if Somebody I know is on there and then they're like, what, she's gay?

Interviewer (Kusha Navadar) (8:56)

Then what?

Tig Notaro (8:58)

Then everybody knows.

Interviewer (Kusha Navadar) (8:59)

Great. It's not like people know you as this tried and true heterosexual. You never let anyone set you up. You don't date people. Be like, oh, good, she figured it out.

Tig Notaro (9:12)

You think people are thinking that?

Interviewer (Kusha Navadar) (9:13)

I don't know. Everyone's just gonna want you to be happy. What if I'm not meant to be happy? Oh, my God. I'm running up there and I am not coming back down.

Tig Notaro (9:26)

Fine.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (9:28)

That's from the film Am I okay? Which is streaming right now on Max. We're talking to Tig Notaro, who's the comedian and the co director of this film. And Tig, I'm listening to that clip and you can clearly tell how different the two are. Lucy and Jane, they make for an interesting dynamic. Jane is a lot more outgoing. She knows what she wants. Lucy, clearly feeling uncertain for you. Did you feel more connected in personality type to one of these characters? And if so, which one was it for you?

Tig Notaro (9:59)

I would say Lucy for sure. Yeah, I, I have my own awkwardness and I had my own hesitations in coming out, even if it was obvious to everyone around me. And I was surrounded by loving and supportive friends and family and, and I still struggled and, and fumbled and, and continue to. In life. But yeah, I think I, I think I definitely relate a little more in, in that. I mean, I certainly am not watching either character going. That is exactly me.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (10:42)

Sure.

Tig Notaro (10:44)

But. And I do want to acknowledge Senoya, who I. She plays Jane and just does it so, so well. Just, it's. It was such a joy to watch these two and the dynamic that was there. And it was such a hard time because it. We were one of the very first productions up in Covid, and everyone was so isolated on set and, and Dakota and Senoia just really brought it in a way that was astounding considering how isolated everybody was in masks and shields and gloves and, you know, the dynamic and the chemistry is just really, really there.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (11:34)

How was that for you as a director? Both dealing with those unforeseen situations, but then also trying to create an environment where you could see that fondness and that sense of playst come out.

Tig Notaro (11:46)

It was a, a real challenge. It was. It was also for it to be the first movie to direct. There was so much stacked against us and it, it, it felt nearly impossible and, and yet there we were getting through day by day. And obviously, I mean, or maybe it's not obvious, but as directors, we were able to be in the same space and room as the cast because things are sectioned off or were sectioned off at the time with different departments on the film. So you couldn't really interact with everybody. And so it was nice and necessary that we were able to be physically in the room and standing kind of within the scene, a little outside of the scene, and be there to guide and direct. But it was a challenge, no joke.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (12:50)

What kind of conversations were you having with your actors to help them find these characters when there was so much else going on? Did you have to change tacks partway through? Did it feel like it was pretty smooth sailing all the way along?

Tig Notaro (13:07)

I mean, I. As far as their dynamic, yeah. I mean, that was. That seemed to come in so naturally, and we didn't have the, you know, the luxury that so many films have where you get together, you socialize, you. You have your dinners and, you know, maybe run through some scenes together and before you actually step foot on set for the shoot. And I think that's just a testament to these two actors because it is there on the screen.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (13:45)

And also, I would say, a testament to you and your co director as well, because it definitely takes a village. And for you, you're an incredible standup comedian, and now you're going into this directorial role. What did you learn about directing a comedy film that was different for you than. And planning a standup set?

Tig Notaro (14:06)

Well, yeah, and I've also directed standup specials and a short film and a TV episode. But this is a whole new. A whole new world. And I think, you know, I. Not. I think I know for sure. Stephanie really took to this way more than I did. And honestly, I can't remember what your original question was, what the similarities or.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (14:39)

Differences were between the previous things that you had done as a comedian and now in this feature debut as a director.

Tig Notaro (14:46)

Well, yeah, there's so many people to deal with as a standup. I'm solo, and I'm not a comedian that runs in a. An entourage or needs a lot of people around me or anything like that. I don't. I don't write my material with anybody. I don't. I don't. You know, my wife gives me some feedback here and there, and it's very welcome, but it's not. We don't sit down and work it through, but this is doing a film. I mean, as directors, you're the. You're the captain of the ship. And that means with everybody. Everybody has a question, everybody has a concern, everybody has a problem. Everybody has. It's, it's non stop. And so that was a whole different world. Especially in that directing a feature, it's so drawn out. There's, you know, the pre production, the production and post production, whereas of course, that's in the other projects as well. But it's so truncated. Yeah, it's, it's, it's done so quickly. Was there ongoing.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (16:02)

Was there a part of directing that was a new muscle for you that you felt like, man, I really like working this muscle. This is a really nice part of being a director that I'm enjoying right now.

Tig Notaro (16:12)

I mean, I think I really enjoyed the very typical, obvious part of walking up and giving a note to try something new. And it was electrifying to see these different kind of takes. But I think Stephanie, that's where I think she lands in this, in this role so much more naturally in that you're directing and somebody will come up and say, hey, here's. Here's this piece of. Or here's this chapstick. And I'm wondering, do you want the top on or off sitting on the table? And I'd be like, that's up to you. I can, I could just. What are you talking about? Whereas Stephanie is like, oh, my gosh, running up, saying, it must have the top off. And here's why the character was. You know, there's a huge backstory of why this, the top of the chapstick must be off. And I'm like, man, knock yourself out. Because I wish I cared about the top being off, you know?

Host (Kusha Navadar) (17:27)

Did that come as a surprise to you? Did you know that Stephanie Allen had that in her before you started working together?

Tig Notaro (17:33)

I know she had that in her to some degree, but it was so fun to see. One of my favorite things that I love more than anything in life is seeing somebody love their job. I don't care if it's a stranger, someone I'm talking to at a party. I love asking, are you happy? Do you love doing your job? And if somebody says yes, I feel so free and happy and to see my wife thriving and devouring every moment and step of directing. Whereas I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna go give a note or I'm gonna go talk to them about this scene, or. And Whereas Stephanie's like, in that, but she's also taking that top off the chapstick with so much passion. And I love watching that.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (18:31)

So I imagine it made you two even closer then than you already were beforehand to be able to share that. Because have you worked in that environment professionally before doing something as partners in that way?

Tig Notaro (18:43)

Oh, my God. That's all we've done. We met working on this independent film called In a World. We played love interests, and that's how we met. We also have a production company. We've produced things together. We've created and written things together. And because this script spoke to both of us, it felt like, yeah, let's co direct a movie together. And I do get a lot of people saying, how is that? Oh, my gosh, I can't imagine working with my spouse and, you know, kind of rolling their eyes like, oh, tell me, give me the goods. And I'm like, we actually love working together. We certainly are still a couple that have bad days at home and at work, but. But we navigate through all of it, I think, in just a. It's a. It's flowing.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (19:43)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (19:43)

And. And we have similar sensibility, but enough differences that I think we elevate one another perfectly.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (19:54)

Yeah. Can you tell me a little bit more about the working dynamic? Like, it sounds like Stephanie had a lot of meticulous thoughts about specific things. Go into it more. What kind of creative decisions were you making versus her? Was everything kind of. Was it splitting up responsibilities, doing everything by committee? Tell us more about that.

Tig Notaro (20:14)

Yeah. I think that it kind of reminds me of just our marriage and parenting and. And it's. It felt very similar to directing this movie in that we've never. And maybe it's not a good thing. I have no idea. But we never sit down and say, this is your role as a wife, and this is your role, or, this is my role as a wife. This is your role as you're going to do these things as this the parent, and I'm going to do these things. I feel like it. It just kind of shakes out and you gravitate towards one thing or you have more time for something else, whether it's parenting or marriage. And same with directing. I just. I. We didn't split things up exactly. It was whatever we were gravitating towards and. But however, we were always checking in with one another and saying, hey, I feel like this outfit for this character would make more sense. Or I don't really. That shirt isn't speaking to me. Or if it was something that I didn't feel as passionate or. Or driven by, I would just go. It's. It's kind of goes back to pick your battles where I'm like, you know what? I feel like you know more about fashion or you're more passionate about that or you get this kind of 32 year old woman more than I do. So you go for it.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (21:49)

Yeah. We're talking to Tig Notaro, the co director of the film Am I okay? Which is streaming now on Max. What you were just saying sounds so much like what you had mentioned before about being in the flow of it and just taking things as they come. And you know, I'm thinking of Lucy's character. There's a scene where she is in a. She is online and she types into her search bar. How do I know if I'm a lesbian? And there's this like innocent childlike curiosity that I feel is very quintessential to like an adolescent teen. And I'm wondering what is it for you about like figuring out your sexuality no matter the age, that has this pureness to it?

Tig Notaro (22:32)

It's really interesting because, you know, most people who understand who they are from day one, you can kind of move along in life at a more natural pace. And then when you are taking longer to understand what is my gender, sexuality, what do I want to pursue as a job and you, you haven't moved on to these milestones that other people have. I do think you stay a little stunted in ways or, or I don't even know if stunted is the right word. But it. You, you still like. As soon as I started dating, I came out when I was like 21 or something. I was dating for the first time. I didn't have junior high boyfriends or girlfriends. I was, I didn't know. I. So I was fumbling through dating for the first time in my 20s. And so it, there's still an immaturity there and a lack of experience. And the only way you can get through that is to get started. Whatever, whatever age it begins.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (23:58)

Yeah. It's not stunted. You're right. It's more just like being at a different step of the journey. Like you're in an earlier chapter maybe.

Tig Notaro (24:06)

Yeah. You're on a, on a different step and everybody's just a few steps above you on the, on the stairs and you're headed there, but you just to.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (24:18)

Get there, you got to start walking up the steps.

Tig Notaro (24:21)

Like it can only be a step at a time. And, and so, but once you, once you get your footing, I mean, you're off and you're off and running.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (24:31)

Yeah. Do you remember the first person you came out to?

Tig Notaro (24:36)

Yeah. Was my aunt.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (24:37)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (24:38)

And. And I'm so thankful for her because I was very emotional, hadn't told anybody. Well, I told a therapist. I looked a therapist up, drove out, came out to her, and then she said, no, you're not gay. And when she told me I wasn't gay, I knew in that moment more than ever, oh, I'm gay. And I left the. The therapist's office and drove straight to my girlfriend's house and have never looked back. But. But, yeah, I. The next in line was my aunt, and I was emotional. And she said, what do you. What are you crying about? And I said, I just. I don't know. I'm. I was scared. And she said, you know, most people go through their entire lives never, ever experiencing love, or they can go marriage to marriage, relationship to relationship, and. And she said, and you're coming to me, telling me that you're in love. And she said, there's absolutely nothing to be scared of or ashamed of and feel lucky that you're actually feeling this and experiencing it.

Host (Kusha Navadar) (25:53)

It's a lovely story, and you've helped create a lovely movie. It's. Am I okay? It's streaming now on Max. We've been talking to Tig Notaro, the comedian, the co director. Tig, thanks for your work and thanks for hanging out with us. Really appreciate it.

Tig Notaro (26:08)

Thank you for having me.

McDonald's Promoter (26:11)

I'mma put you on, nephew.

Interviewer (Kusha Navadar) (26:13)

All right, unc. Welcome to McDonald's.

Tig Notaro (26:15)

Can I take your order, miss?

McDonald's Promoter (26:16)

I've been hitting up McDonald's for years now. It's back. We need snack wraps. What's a snack wrap? It's the return of something great. Snack wrap is back.

Multicare/Tide Advertiser (26:27)

Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it. Even in cold butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream.

Tig Notaro (26:39)

Sure thing.

Multicare/Tide Advertiser (26:40)

Barbecue sauce. Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new coldzyme technology. Just remember, if it's gotta be clean, it's gotta be Tide.