All Of It with Alison Stewart – “What Are You Grateful For?”

Date: November 24, 2025
Host: Alison Stewart
Featured Guest: Kristy Nelson (author, “Wake Up Grateful: The Practice of Taking Nothing for Granted”)
Theme: Exploring the meaning, practice, and impact of gratitude and gratefulness, with reflections from listeners and practical advice for Thanksgiving and beyond.

Episode Overview

This episode centers on the complex, transformative practice of gratitude—not just as a fleeting feeling, but as a deeper orientation toward life. Alison Stewart speaks with Kristy Nelson, a writer and cancer survivor whose work focuses on living gratefully even in the face of life's challenges. The conversation weaves in calls and messages from listeners sharing personal stories of gratitude, grief, resilience, and the power of finding wonder in the ordinary.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining Gratitude vs. Gratefulness

[01:42 - 02:56]

• Gratitude: A reaction to positive events or getting what you want; fleeting and conditional.
  • Kristy Nelson: “Gratitude is... kind of a light gratitude. Light is kind of how I think of it... a reaction to getting what we want... Gratefulness is actually... more unconditional. It's a way that we can not be grateful for everything but be grateful in every moment.”
    ([01:58])
• Gratefulness: An orientation, a way to live without taking anything for granted; more radical and constant.

2. The Benefits of Gratefulness Practice

[03:02 - 03:42]

• Mental & Physical Health: Scientific studies show gratitude strengthens immune response, improves sleep, and enhances mental health.
  • Kristy Nelson: “Gratitude is the great medicine... but it’s super fleeting and highly conditional. So... it’s better to have it as much as possible in every moment...”
    ([03:02])
• Sustaining Gratitude: Moving beyond listing “three good things” to cultivating a grateful orientation moments throughout the day.

3. The Challenge of Maintaining Gratefulness

[04:24 - 07:10]

• Wake-Up Calls: Major life events (e.g., illness, loss) can temporarily enhance gratefulness.
  • Kristy Nelson shares her stage IV cancer journey, how it made her appreciate life, and the challenge of holding that perspective over time.
    ([04:24])
• Practices as Anchors: The need for intentional habits to help return to gratitude, not just when life jolts us into it.

4. Listener Reflections and Techniques

a. Shifting Focus

[07:10 - 08:27]

• Katie (Manhattan): Finding gratitude by noticing what isn’t wrong.
  • “I started focusing on things that weren’t going wrong... tiny, tiny little things... it was just a way to sort of... refocus and get a little perspective.”

b. Everyday Practices

[09:02 - 10:34]

• Alison Stewart: Difficulty maintaining a gratitude journal at night; asks if mornings might be better.
  • Kristy Nelson: Morning gratitude “removes it from the circumstances and conditions”; cites Maya Angelou: “This is a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before.”
• Alison shares that this approach has worked for her: “That’s what I’ve been doing the past four or five months. And it’s definitely worked.” ([10:34])

c. Grief and Gratefulness

[11:34 - 12:52]

• Katie (Greenpoint): Lost her brother unexpectedly; finds deep gratitude in grief’s ability to heighten appreciation for life.
  • Kristy Nelson: “Grief and gratefulness are very kin to one another... It’s about being open-hearted and feeling everything. When we’re brokenhearted, we’re openhearted.”
    ([12:11])

d. Holding Space for Difficult Emotions

[13:08 - 15:04]

• Gratefulness doesn't erase pain or negative emotion.
  • Kristy Nelson: “Gratefulness holds everything... When we cultivate beauty, wonder, joy, love... it’s not that we’re taking our eyes off what’s hard. We’re actually making it easier for us to cope with what’s hard.”
    ([14:17])

e. Spiritual & Physical Practices

[15:10 - 16:25]

• Lenore (Orthodox Jewish listener): Morning thankfulness prayer serves as both a spiritual and physical act, gently transitioning to the day and fostering gratitude for simply being alive.

f. Navigating Ambition vs. Presence

[16:32 - 18:45]

• Dan (Brooklyn): Struggle to be grateful in the present while striving toward future goals.
  • Kristy Nelson: Quotes poet Andrea Gibson:
    • “Worry... is a time machine to the future, and regret is a time machine to the past, and gratitude is a time machine to the present.”
      ([17:44])
  • Encourages “living bigger in the few moments we have right now.”

g. Family & Thanksgiving Strategies

[19:51 - 21:21]

• Dealing with challenging family dynamics: Focus conversation on “the common heart”, shared humanity, and deeper questions.
  • Kristy Nelson: “1% more curious than afraid, 1% more curious than judgmental... We can really shift things in our lives by being just 1% more curious...”
    ([20:39])

Memorable Listener Stories & Strategies

• Susan (Lebanon Boroughs, NJ): After overcoming treatment-resistant depression, created a custom jewelry charm engraved “the wonderfulness of the ordinary.” Now celebrates everyday joys. ([21:28–22:29])
• Lorraine (Eatontown, NJ): Book club formed around Kristy’s work, highlighting the difference gratefulness versus gratitude made in members’ lives. ([22:37–23:37])
• Lisa (Nyack): Each year, friends gather at her late son’s grave, demonstrating the collective healing in shared gratitude. Practices saying “I get to” instead of “I have to.” ([23:50–25:43])
  • Lisa: “I correct myself... I get to go and do those things... it’s just a reminder of how lucky and grateful I am...” ([25:13])

Practical Advice: Cultivating Gratefulness

[27:21 - 28:49]

• Daily practices:
  • Write handwritten notes of appreciation to people whose “love and labor keep you alive.”
  • Notice and acknowledge the ordinary (echoing Susan and Lisa’s stories).
  • Express “I get to” rather than “I have to.”
  • Choose someone each day to thank or appreciate, especially around the holidays.
  • Use group rituals (at Thanksgiving or other gatherings) to anchor gratitude collectively.

Notable Quotes

• Kristy Nelson:
  • “We get a second chance at life every day, every single day that we wake up.” ([04:45])
  • “When we’re brokenhearted, we’re openhearted.” ([12:19])
  • “Gratefulness holds everything... it’s not mutually exclusive with really difficult feelings.” ([13:11])
  • “Gratitude is a time machine to the present.” ([17:44])
• Alison Stewart:
  • “That’s what I’ve been doing the past four or five months and it’s definitely worked.” ([10:34])
  • “Thank you so much for your time today.” ([31:07])

Closing Highlights

• Service as Gratitude:
  • Mark (Manhattan): Shares about decades of service to the homeless and the inspiration of Brother David Steindl-Rast (notable gratitude thinker); emphasizes the reciprocal blessings in giving. ([28:59–30:28])
• Kristy Nelson’s Final Thoughts:
  • The power of practice and service: “The ripple effects when we give to other people, when we express our appreciation to other people, the ripple effects are so powerful and good for everybody and the whole earth and we really need that right now.” ([30:46])

Selected Timestamps

• 01:42 — Nelson defines gratitude vs. gratefulness
• 03:02 — Health benefits of gratitude
• 04:24 — Nelson’s cancer journey and perspective shift
• 07:19 — Katie shares gratitude technique
• 09:02 — Alison’s gratitude journal dilemma
• 10:12 — Maya Angelou quote about new days
• 11:34 — Katie (Greenpoint) on grief and deeper gratitude
• 15:10 — Lenore’s morning prayer and health perspective
• 17:44 — “Gratitude is a time machine to the present”
• 19:51 — Thanksgiving/family dynamics advice
• 23:50 — Lisa’s story (“I get to” versus “I have to”)
• 27:35 — Nelson’s practical suggestions
• 28:59 — Mark’s story on gratitude through service
• 30:46 — Nelson’s reflection on the ripple effects of gratitude practice

Tone and Atmosphere

Warm, reflective, and community-driven. The episode balances personal vulnerability, practical wisdom, and a genuine appreciation for group participation. Kristy Nelson and Alison Stewart foster a non-judgmental, inclusive space for callers, recognizing gratitude’s complexity without veering into “toxic positivity.”

Takeaways for Listeners

• Gratefulness is a daily, practical orientation—not just a fleeting feeling.
• There are many ways to find gratitude, from morning rituals to group sharing.
• Grief and gratitude are closely connected; gratitude can deepen during hard times.
• Practicing gratitude together—around the Thanksgiving table or in life—has collective healing power.
• Simple acts like thanking a mail carrier, appreciating the ordinary, or serving others can transform both giver and receiver.

“Wake up grateful before anything has even happened yet. What can you be grateful for?”
— Kristy Nelson ([09:29])