All Of It Podcast - Detailed Summary of Episode: Ada Calhoun's Debut Novel 'Crush'

Release Date: February 27, 2025
Host: Alison Stewart
Podcast: All Of It by WNYC

Introduction

In this episode of All Of It, hosted by Alison Stewart, the spotlight shines on Ada Calhoun and her debut novel, Crush. The episode is part of a day-long celebration dedicated to debut novels, featuring discussions with new authors about their first ventures into novel writing. All Of It aims to delve deep into cultural narratives by engaging with thinkers, creators, and storytellers, fostering a community that appreciates diverse perspectives.

Overview of 'Crush'

Crush narrates the story of an unnamed protagonist—a Gen X woman navigating the complexities of midlife—who enters into an unexpected and emotionally charged relationship with her pen pal, David. The protagonist is seemingly content in her marriage to Paul, who intriguingly suggests an open marriage, giving her the green light to flirt with other men, even to the point of physical intimacy. Initially perceiving this arrangement as a refreshing addition to her stable life, the protagonist soon finds herself entangled in a deeper, more consuming connection with David than she ever anticipated.

Ada Calhoun describes the novel as a "work of fiction" that draws inspiration from her own experiences, blending personal insights with imaginative storytelling to explore themes of love, fidelity, and self-discovery.

Themes Discussed

1. The Allure and Complexity of Crushes

At [02:20], Ada Calhoun reflects on the intoxicating nature of crushes:
"Crushes make everything more exciting and alive. I think they tell us also what we might be missing in our life."

This sentiment encapsulates the protagonist's journey, where a seemingly innocent flirtation evolves into a profound emotional entanglement, challenging her perceptions of happiness and fulfillment within her marriage.

2. Polyamory and Open Marriages

The episode delves into the protagonist's decision to embrace an open marriage. At [04:05], Ada explains:
"I think it's flirtatious. It starts off very innocently and fun... but then, of course, it immediately goes awry."

The discussion touches on contemporary conversations around polyamory, especially in the post-pandemic context. Ada notes that the pandemic has "leveled everything" ([05:08]), prompting many couples to reassess their relationships and explore new dynamics to enrich their lives.

3. The Role of Women as Breadwinners

Ada brings attention to the evolving role of women in families. At [03:11], she states:
"Women who make more money actually do more at home to kind of compensate for the ways in which maybe this is a little bit hard on their partner."

This dynamic creates tension within the protagonist's marriage, reflecting broader societal shifts where women balance professional success with traditional caregiving roles, often leading to personal exhaustion and frustration.

4. Midlife Crisis and Identity

Crush portrays the protagonist's midlife crisis, highlighting her struggle to find personal identity beyond her roles as wife and mother. Ada emphasizes the theme of self-discovery:
"What else could be possible for us, especially in midlife." ([19:56])

The novel explores how the protagonist seeks to rediscover herself amidst changing familial dynamics, particularly as her son Nate prepares to leave home ([17:54]).

Author's Insights

Transition from Nonfiction to Fiction

Ada Calhoun shares her journey from writing nonfiction to her first novel. At [09:58], she explains:
"I thought, maybe this is gonna be the next sequel to those things. And then I thought, or I could just make a romance novel out of it, which would actually be much more fun."

This transition allowed her greater creative freedom, enabling her to "make up as much as I wanted to" and craft engaging narratives detached from the constraints of factual recounting.

Autofiction and Personal Experiences

Discussing the concept of autofiction at [10:25], Ada states:
"I think it makes sense... I think most novelists use what they have in different ways and different percentages."

She acknowledges that while her novel draws from personal experiences, it remains a distinct fictional work, emphasizing the balance between reality and imagination in storytelling.

Writing Process

Ada details her writing habits and environments, highlighting the importance of structure and spontaneity. She maintains journals for capturing ideas on the go and utilizes the New York Public Library's study rooms as a primary workspace ([21:07]). This disciplined approach provides her with the necessary space and resources to develop her novel.

Characters and Relationships

The Protagonist and Paul

The protagonist's relationship with her husband, Paul, is central to the narrative. Initially presented as stable and content ([02:28]), Paul's suggestion of an open marriage serves as the catalyst for the ensuing emotional turmoil. Ada describes their dynamic, noting that Paul's proposal is intended to inject "spice and excitement" into their marriage, though it inadvertently leads to deeper complications ([04:05]-[04:36]).

The Relationship with David

David, the protagonist's pen pal, is portrayed as an intellectual and emotional counterpart. At [12:34], Ada describes him as:
"He is sort of a very sexy ideal. A guy who's like, yes, I can't wait to just devour all these books with you."

Their relationship transcends mere flirtation, evolving into a "religious calling" ([06:52]) that challenges the protagonist's notions of love and fidelity. The intellectual bond they share accentuates the novel's exploration of emotional versus physical connections.

Impact on Their Son, Nate

Nate, the protagonist's son, is nearing adulthood, prompting reflections on her identity post-parenting ([17:54]). Ada explains that as Nate prepares to leave home, the protagonist confronts a void, questioning her purpose beyond caregiving roles, which intensifies her emotional journey ([18:18]).

Excerpts and Analysis

Ada reads a poignant excerpt from Crush at [06:36], illustrating the protagonist's internal conflict and the transformative nature of her relationship with David. The passage underscores themes of identity, connection, and the quest for personal fulfillment amidst familial obligations.

Conclusion and Author's Advice

As the conversation draws to a close, Ada offers encouragement to aspiring writers. At [22:10], she advises:
"If you're writing, you're a writer... writing is the thing. So just, yeah, write the book."

Emphasizing the intrinsic value of the creative process, Ada reassures listeners that the act of writing itself constitutes being part of the literary journey, regardless of publication status.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• [02:20] Ada Calhoun: "Crushes make everything more exciting and alive. I think they tell us also what we might be missing in our life."

• [03:09] Ada Calhoun: "She has gotten it all. And she is rather tired, but she's kind of getting through middle age relatively happily."

• [05:08] Ada Calhoun: "The pandemic really like, leveled everything in this way. And a lot of couples, I think, are trying to build back better..."

• [10:25] Ada Calhoun: "I think it makes sense... I think most novelists use what they have in different ways and different percentages."

• [19:56] Ada Calhoun: "I think the book really is about maybe just asking questions about what else could be possible for us, especially in midlife."

Final Thoughts

This episode of All Of It offers an insightful exploration into Ada Calhoun's Crush, delving into the nuanced portrayal of midlife relationships, personal identity, and the challenges of balancing love with self-fulfillment. Through Ada's candid discussion, listeners gain a deeper understanding of the creative process behind debut novels and the intricate themes that resonate within contemporary cultural narratives.