All the Hacks: How to Focus on What Matters and Let Go of the Rest with Ryan Holiday

Host: Chris Hutchins
Guest: Ryan Holiday (Author and expert on Stoicism)
Release Date: October 22, 2025

Brief Overview

This episode explores how applying the ancient philosophy of Stoicism can help us focus energy on what matters, let go of what we can't control, and find greater satisfaction and effectiveness in work, relationships, and life. Bestselling author Ryan Holiday joins Chris Hutchins to discuss misconceptions about Stoicism, its relevance in the modern world, why over-optimizing is a trap, how to define success on your own terms, and stoic techniques anyone can apply to improve happiness and resilience.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

What is Stoicism? (01:07–02:43)

• Definition: Contrary to popular belief, Stoicism is not about being emotionless; it's about accepting that the world is out of our control, but our reactions are not.
• Ryan: “We don't control what happens, we control how we respond to what happens.” (01:22)
• Simple but Not Easy: While the ideas are simple, actual practice is challenging, especially when faced with adversity or unwanted outcomes.

Stoicism’s Timeless Relevance (02:43–04:59)

• While less central to daily life today than in ancient Athens, more people are actively engaging with Stoic ideas than ever due to their effectiveness in navigating today’s unpredictable, overwhelming world.
• “Stoicism as a philosophy built around dealing with what we don’t control, … remains as relevant as it ever was.” – Ryan Holiday (03:45)

The Two Circles: Control vs. Not Control (05:18–07:42)

• Place aspects of life into two buckets: what you control (your actions, thoughts, focus) and what you don’t (other people's actions, the weather, systems).
• People often focus on the uncontrollable as a distraction from doing the important but challenging work within their sphere of control.
• “Perhaps part of the reason we focus on the things that are outside of our control is so we have an excuse for why we didn't do the things that are in our control.” – Ryan Holiday (07:40)

Redefining Success and Letting Go of External Validation (07:48–10:55)

• Defining success based on external factors (bestseller lists, promotions) leads to disappointment and anxiety; true success is internal.
• Ryan shares personal examples—writing a book, its reception—and how he’s learned to focus on effort, growth, and satisfaction from his work itself.
• “No external thing feels like anything.” – Ryan Holiday (09:05)

The Urge to Complain & Testing Your Impressions (13:34–17:43)

• Social media and cultural habits encourage venting—complaining about what’s not in our control.
• Stoicism teaches us to question our first impression or emotional response before acting or judging.
• Use emotional “currency testing” like checking if a coin is real—pause, check if your initial impression is true or worth acting upon.
• “If you only run races where winning is up to you, you’ll win all the time.” – Ryan Holiday (16:45)

Ego, Competition, and Happiness (17:52–20:41)

• Our default competitiveness and desire to be the best can undermine the core reasons we pursue experiences (like fun, connection).
• “It makes sense why we have that. It’s obviously a propulsive force. It’s just also repulsive in the sense that it’s not only ugly, but I think it pushes away from us the one thing we actually say we want, which is happiness.” – Ryan Holiday (18:41)
• Stoicism isn’t about erasing ambition but about realigning it with meaningful, intrinsic goals.

Stoicism in Times of Crisis & Disaster (20:50–24:05)

• Stoic philosophy is particularly valuable during adversity, not just minor frustrations.
• Stories of ancient Stoics thriving amid illness, loss, tyranny, and even personal ruin.
• “Sometimes the Stoics want us to understand that… just a few years down the road… you might look back and go, everything good in my life is a result of that thing happening.” – Ryan Holiday (22:18)

Control Versus Catastrophizing in the Modern World (24:05–26:56)

• Modern conveniences create the illusion we can always be in control, which can feed anxiety when bad things happen or could happen.
• The Stoic approach isn’t about passivity—take precautions within reason, then let go.
• “If the result of [your actions] is not a reduction in the anxiety and worry, what am I doing here?” – Ryan Holiday (25:45)

Stoic Practices for Acceptance and Presence (29:30–31:33)

• Stoic practices are often brief, practical thought exercises—like memento mori—or journaling, pausing before reacting, and savoring the present.
• “What's in your control is that you have bedtime right now. And how you choose to show up for that, that's the part that's up to you.” – Ryan Holiday (30:45)

The Virtue of Self Discipline (32:03–37:47)

• Discipline is not just about restriction—it’s about the right amount (the “golden mean”) between excess and deficiency.
• Over-optimization or over-discipline can become a vice—sometimes discipline means knowing when to rest, let go, or say no.
• “Optimization itself needs to be optimized. Sometimes you're like, okay, I'm trying to save… but my savings are costing me more than they are saving me because my time has value or my relationships have value…” – Ryan Holiday (34:25)
• Discipline spans physical, emotional, and even spiritual realms.

Stillness as a Superpower (37:47–39:09)

• Stillness (mental quiet amid chaos) is foundational for elite performance, happiness, and self-awareness.
• Stillness is not escaping the world but learning to pause and reflect before acting.

Navigating News and Information Overload (39:09–41:25)

• Most contemporary media is designed to increase anxiety and outrage, perpetuating negative emotions.
• “Most people's information diet is setting them up to be much more unhappy and frustrated than they need to be… real time information is not what most of us… should be consuming.” – Ryan Holiday (40:30)

Joy and Leisure are not “Unstoic” (41:25–43:19)

• Stoicism doesn’t require avoiding entertainment or pleasure—it’s about being intentional and keeping them in perspective.
• “Would Seneca have watched The Office? I think it's pretty funny. Why wouldn't he have?” – Ryan Holiday (42:10)

The Four Cardinal Virtues and Their Interplay (43:19–45:34)

• The Stoic virtues: Courage, Discipline, Justice, Wisdom—distinct but deeply intertwined; you can’t “rank” them.
• “Zeno himself said they're basically separate but inseparable, which is an interesting way of thinking about it.” – Ryan Holiday (43:27)

Everyday Courage and Parenting in a Risk-Averse Culture (44:20–50:49)

• Courage today often means vulnerability, taking risks, or allowing children to fail and discover their own capacity for hard things.
• The tension between protecting children and letting them experience challenges is a modern parenting struggle.
• “Nothing challenges your Stoicism quite like having this little person who you love more than yourself, who's, quite frankly, stupid and bad at most things out in a dangerous world. It's emotionally and physically exhausting.” – Ryan Holiday (50:49)

Justice as an Active Virtue (51:05–53:29)

• Justice isn’t just a matter of law or receiving fairness—it’s proactively offering fairness and compassion to others.
• “Justice as something we get and not as something that we give.” – Ryan Holiday (51:05)
• Ethics and personal responsibility are at the core of Stoic justice.

Wisdom as an Ongoing, Intentional Pursuit (53:29–57:42)

• Wisdom doesn’t simply accrue with age or hardship—it takes conscious effort, mentorship, reading, teaching, and reflection.
• Reading is a “conversation with the dead” and is a shortcut to wisdom.
• Trusting intuition is important, but only once you have earned it through learning and experience.

Emotions: Suppression vs. Mastery (57:42–59:15)

• Stoicism is not about having fewer emotions, but about not letting emotions rule actions.
• “He still probably felt a lot of things. He could be upset with injustice or sad about loss, but wouldn’t act necessarily because of those in isolation.” – Interviewer on Marcus Aurelius (59:03)
• Emoting about problems is easy; contributing to solutions requires more effort and self-mastery.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ryan Holiday (01:22): “Stoicism is this idea that we don’t control the world, but we control how we respond to the world.”
• Ryan Holiday (02:15): “Stoicism is simple, but it’s not easy. And that’s...a good, pretty good rule of life. Also.”
• Ryan Holiday (09:05): “No external thing feels like anything.”
• Ryan Holiday (16:45): “If you only run races where winning is up to you, you’ll win all the time.”
• Ryan Holiday (22:18): “Everything good in my life is a result of that thing happening. That was the best thing that could have possibly happened to me in that moment.”
• Ryan Holiday (34:25): “Optimization itself needs to be optimized.”
• Ryan Holiday (42:10): “Would Seneca have watched The Office? I think it’s pretty funny. Why wouldn’t he have?”
• Ryan Holiday (51:05): “Justice as something we get and not as something that we give.”
• Ryan Holiday (59:15): “We confuse emoting about a problem with contributing to the solution of the problem.”

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Topic | |-------------|------------------------------------------| | 01:11 | Explaining Stoicism | | 02:56 | Relevance of Stoicism today | | 05:18 | Control vs. Not Control | | 07:48 | Defining (and owning) your own success | | 13:34 | Complaining and modern culture | | 17:52 | Ego and competition in daily life | | 20:50 | Happiness & flourishing redefined | | 24:05 | Control, anxiety, and modern disasters | | 29:35 | Stoic practices and thought exercises | | 32:03 | The golden mean and optimizing discipline| | 37:47 | Stillness and high performance | | 39:09 | The news/media diet’s negative effects | | 41:25 | Stoicism and joy/leisure | | 43:19 | Ordering the virtues | | 44:20 | Courage in daily life and for kids | | 51:05 | Justice as practice, not just fairness | | 53:29 | Wisdom takes intentional work | | 57:42 | Emotions as part of reality; mastery | | 60:17 | Applying Stoicism: daily practice |

Applying Stoicism: Practical Tips

• Don’t try to master Stoicism in one shot; dip in and out, treat it as a practice like exercise or meditation (60:17).
• Journaling, reading daily meditations, and pausing before reacting are key accessible techniques.
• Reflect regularly on what is truly in your control—shift energy from worrying about the uncontrollable to what you can do today.
• Remember: virtue sits between two vices. Optimize your own pursuit of discipline and achievement.

Where to Learn More

• Ryan Holiday: dailystoic.com for daily emails, articles, podcasts, and videos with quick, actionable insights.
• Books: The Virtue Series by Ryan Holiday, including the latest, “Wisdom Takes Work.”
• Follow/Subscribe: Stay tuned for more hacks and life-upgrading strategies from Chris Hutchins and All the Hacks.

This episode provides practical, honest, and occasionally humorous insights into how Stoicism remains a powerful framework for navigating life’s uncertainties and focusing on what truly matters. Whether you’re looking to upgrade your mindset, your discipline, or simply let go of life’s frustrations, Ryan Holiday’s advice is actionable and deeply relevant.