Kenny Chesney

Summary

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Podcast Summary: All There Is with Anderson Cooper

Episode: Kenny Chesney
Date: November 12, 2025
Host: Anderson Cooper
Guest: Kenny Chesney

Overview

In this deeply moving episode, Anderson Cooper continues his exploration of grief, focusing on how we navigate loss, honor memories, and find solace through community and art. The episode opens with touching reflections on recently lost friends and features a heartfelt interview with country star Kenny Chesney. Together, Cooper and Chesney examine personal grief, the power of music, and the unexpected ways lives interconnect. Throughout, the tone is gentle, raw, and compassionate—underscoring the universality of loss and the redemptive power of love and remembrance.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Remembering David Gergen & Opening Reflections on Grief

• [00:07] Anderson recalls attending David Gergen's memorial, reflecting on Gergen's humanity, dignity, and respectfulness.
  • "He was thoughtful. He'd served as an advisor to four presidents... he listened to other people and always engaged with them. Respectfully."
• Anne Gergen reads the poem "Immortality" by Claire Harner, affirming the enduring presence of loved ones lost.
  • "Do not stand at my grave and weep... I am not there. I did not die." — Anne Gergen [00:49]
• Anderson relates to the poem, finding comfort in the notion that those we've lost remain all around us.

Facing Loss and Mortality: Marika O'Meara's Story

• [01:53] Marika, diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and having lost her mother to the same disease, shares the unique perspective of both grieving and being aware of her own impending death.
  • "The dying person, knowing that she's gonna die, knows that she's gonna lose everybody in her life that she's ever loved. And I understand even more now as I'm facing the same thing." — Marika O'Meara [01:53]
  • She expresses a devotion to loving her family as long and as hard as she can.
• [03:41] Anderson and Marika have a candid conversation about fear, mortality, and beliefs about life after death.
  • Marika: "Maybe anticipating pain makes me a little scared, but I don't think I'm scared of dying. I believe that there's something more for us... I'm gonna believe it." [03:41]
  • Anderson shares that his own fears about death arose after becoming a parent; previously, he often sought out dangerous assignments as a reporter.
    • "Now that I have little kids I'm very scared about not being there for them." — Anderson Cooper [05:08]

Kenny Chesney on Grief, Friendship, and the Power of Music

Grace McDonnell and Sandy Hook

• [05:32] Anderson revisits the story of Grace McDonnell, a Sandy Hook victim, whose family found comfort including mementos—among them, Kenny Chesney memorabilia—in her casket.
  • [06:29] Mother Lynn recounts decorating Grace’s casket:
    "By the time we were done, there wasn't an inch of white. It was so covered with all the things that she loved."
  • [08:14] Anderson describes the family's deep affection for Kenny Chesney, noting Grace's morning began singing Chesney’s songs.
  • Anderson tells Kenny he reached out via text on the night of the tragedy, sharing how much the family loved his music. Kenny responded immediately and offered to speak with the family.
  • [09:16] Kenny: "We have since then become really good friends... they actually brought me a piece of art that Grace painted. She loved painting and gave it to me and I had it framed..."
  • Meaningful coincidence: Chesney's memoir release date coincided with what would have been Grace’s 20th birthday.
    "November 4th is Grace's birthday. She would have been 20 years old today." — Kenny Chesney [10:06]
  • Anderson commends Kenny’s ongoing friendship with the McDonnell family.

Grief, Connection, and Artistic Energy

• [11:00] Kenny discusses stepping into another's grief:
  • "You just try to be there for them... there’s not a lot to say. I can't imagine being a parent and that happening."
  • He recalls hearing about how the family wrote “no shoes, no shirt, no problems” on Grace’s casket, referencing one of his songs.
• [11:39] Anderson plays a clip of Kenny singing “Amazing Grace” on CNN at the end of that tragic week—a powerful, silent tribute.

The Endurance and Presence of Lost Loved Ones

• [14:48] Kenny shares,
  • "I think that the more you live, the more you experience loss... I don't think they're gone. They're here. They're here."
  • Anderson echoes: "It's only in the last couple years that I actually feel the people again." — Anderson Cooper [15:13]
• Kenny describes the inability to “get over” major losses—especially of the young—and the way grief “freezes” time.

Music as Memorial: "Who You’d Be Today"

• [15:48] Anderson plays Chesney’s song "Who You'd Be Today", which contemplates how life would be different if lost friends were still alive.
  • Lyrics: "God knows how I miss you, all the hell that I've been through / Just knowing, no one can take your place / Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today..." [15:55]
• [17:15] Kenny recalls the childhood loss of a close friend in a car accident, highlighting how such events shape lifelong wonderings.

Coping With the Loss of Pets

• [18:25] Conversation shifts to Kenny’s bond with his dogs, Poncho and Ruby.
• Kenny describes receiving his first dog from his therapist, learning to form attachments, and the family dynamic the pets created.
  • "Ruby and Poncho never spent a day apart, ever... it was really difficult... because we were family." — Kenny Chesney [18:33]
• [19:43] Explains how pet loss rivals human loss for many,
  • "It was as terrible as any friend I've ever had that has passed." — Kenny Chesney [19:43]
• Anderson plays Chesney’s song "Da Ruby Girl," a musical tribute.
  • Kenny: "You never know what's going to inspire you... Ruby taught me pit bulls get a bad rap... She was very loyal. She was very strong, and she got to sleep in the bed a lot... I miss that dog." [21:55]
• They discuss the importance of cherishing pets while alive rather than pre-grieving; Kenny shares how he and Mary took Ruby on travels and created joyful moments until the end.
  • "We didn't want to sit in the house and just watch her deteriorate... so we filled her [life with] me and Mary and Poncho. We went everywhere." — Kenny Chesney [22:49]

Creativity, Loss, and Continued Connection

• [24:30] Anderson quotes Kenny’s writing about songwriting:
  • "Take a slice of life, write all about it, slice it down to what matters, then cut that feeling wide open."
• Kenny opens up about losing his longtime creative partner Brett James in a plane crash:
  • "It's been hard because we were brothers and we were songwriting partners... His creative energy and his creative soul changed my life." — Kenny Chesney [24:38]
• The struggle of performing songs after a collaborator’s death is discussed, with Kenny describing a recent emotional experience at Farm Aid.

Grief’s Evolution and Advice for Others

• [27:22] Anderson asks what Kenny has learned from loss:
  • "Everyone is different. Time does heal some. It won't erase."
  • Anderson: "It changes."
  • Kenny echoes: "It changes. Yeah. Your grief will change over time."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I think that the more you live, the more you experience loss... I don't think they're gone. They're here. They're here." — Kenny Chesney [14:48]
• "We are grieving for the one person and it can be a terrible grief. But the dying person, knowing that she's gonna die, knows that she's gonna lose everybody in her life that she's ever loved." — Marika O'Meara [01:53]
• "Now that I have little kids I'm very scared about not being there for them. We like to think we're in control of our lives... but there are no such guarantees, are there?" — Anderson Cooper [05:08]
• "Just try to be there for them. I mean, there’s not a lot to say." — Kenny Chesney on comforting the grieving [11:00]
• "It was as terrible as any friend I've ever had that has passed." — Kenny Chesney, on losing Ruby [19:43]
• "Time does heal some... it changes. Your grief will change over time." — Kenny Chesney [27:22]

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Important Timestamps

• 00:07 – Opening reflections and poem “Immortality"
• 01:53 – Marika O'Meara’s voicemail on dual perspectives of grief
• 03:41 – Discussion: Fear, beliefs, and facing death
• 05:32 – Interview transitions to Kenny Chesney
• 06:29 – Lynn McDonnell on celebrating Grace’s life after Sandy Hook
• 09:16 – Kenny recounts friendship with Grace’s family
• 11:39 – Kenny sings “Amazing Grace” (CNN tribute)
• 14:48 – Kenny discusses feeling the presence of lost loved ones
• 15:48 – “Who You’d Be Today” song and conversation
• 18:25 – Losing beloved dogs Poncho and Ruby; "Da Ruby Girl" song
• 22:49 – Cherishing present moments, travel with Ruby during illness
• 24:30 – Kenny discusses the songwriting process after loss
• 25:35 – The grief of losing songwriting partner Brett James
• 27:22 – Chesney’s advice on the evolving nature of grief

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Episode Takeaways

• Grief is universal, deeply personal, and ever-changing; while it doesn’t disappear, it can yield to connection, art, and shared memory.
• Music and creative acts can honor lost loved ones and keep their influence alive.
• Cherishing the moments—whether with people or pets—remains a vital antidote to preemptive grief and regret.
• Sometimes, the most powerful gestures in the wake of loss are simple presence, attentive listening, or a song that speaks the words we cannot.

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Next episode preview:
Comedian Tig Notaro joins for a conversation about loss, friendship, and sitting with the confusing, overwhelming waves of grief.

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Transcript

[Anderson Cooper]

I went to a memorial service the other day for David Gergen. David was a lovely human being. He was decent, kind, a gentleman on camera and off. He wasn't one of those people you see on cable news, yelling, saying things they may not even believe. He was thoughtful. He'd served as an advisor to four presidents, Republicans and Democrats, and even though he had a lifetime of real experience, he listened to other people and always engaged with them. Respectfully. David died in July after a struggle with Lewy body dementia. I miss him. His wife, Anne, flanked by their children Catherine and Christopher, read a poem she also had read at David's burial. It's called Immortality by Claire Harner.

[Anne Gergen]

Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain when you awaken in the morning's hush. I am the swift up flinging of quiet birds encircling flight. I am the soft star that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there. I did not die.

[Anderson Cooper]

I like that idea, that our loved ones are not gone, that they are in all these things, that they're alive all around us. I certainly hope that's true. You may know that I've started a livestream show which is a companion to this podcast called All There Is Live. My guest on the latest episode is Marika O', Meara, who sent me this voicemail back in 2024.

[Marika O'Meara]

My name is Marika. I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer about two years ago. I lost my mom. I was 25 and she also died from metastatic breast cancer. When my mom was on hospice care at the end she had a grief counselor and she said one thing that has always stuck with me. We are grieving for the one person and it can be a terrible grief. But the dying person, knowing that she's gonna die, knows that she's gonna lose everybody in her life that she's ever loved. And I understand even more now as I'm facing the same thing. I know I won't get to see my granddaughter get married. My two grandsons. The littlest one is three. I know I won't be able to see him graduate high school. My husband, who I was lucky enough to find just seven years ago. It's devastating, losing and knowing in advance about it. And that's all there is for me. In the meantime, I'm going to do my very best to Love them all as hard as I can.

[Anderson Cooper]

That is all we can do, isn't it? Love those around us as hard as we can. When Marika joined me on All There Is Live, I was stunned to learn that her husband died unexpectedly in July. So Marika is grieving him and facing the uncertainty about her own future. This is part of the conversation I had with her. Are you scared?

[Marika O'Meara (continued)]

No, I don't think that's the right word. Maybe anticipating pain makes me a little scared, but I don't think I'm scared of dying. I believe that there's something more for us. I believe that I'll see Brian again and my mom and my dad and, you know, all those. I think maybe we believe that so we aren't scared, but I'm gonna believe it.

[Anderson Cooper]

Yeah, me too.

[Marika O'Meara (continued)]

Are you scared.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Of dying? Yeah, I wasn't scared. Sorry. I wasn't scared before I had children. In fact, you know, I exposed myself.

[Anderson Cooper]

To a lot of danger over the last, I don't know, Since I was.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

23, going to wars and stuff. I tried to get as close as possible to that line and because I wanted to witness it and understand it and bear witness to the suffering of others. But now that I have little kids.

[Anderson Cooper]

I'm very scared about not being there for them. We like to think we're in control of our lives, that we'll have the time to do all the things that we delay doing. But there are no such guarantees, are there? I'm grateful for Marika, for her honesty and her willingness to help all of us with her wisdom and her love. This is all there is. We'll be right back with Kenny Chesney.

[Kenny Chesney]

When they get in here. It goes from here to here.

[Anderson Cooper]

Welcome back. I first met Kenny Chesney nearly 20 years ago when I did a profile of him for CBS's 60 Minutes. Our paths have crossed a number of times since then. Kenny's written a memoir called Heart Life Music about his incredible journey in country music. I started our conversation showing him part of an interview I did in 2012 when I with Lynn and Chris McDonnell just three days after their seven year old daughter Grace was murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, along with 19 other children and six staff members.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

I'm a huge fan of yours and it goes well beyond the music. There's something that you did which I don't think you've ever talked about. I've never talked about when Sandy Hook happened. I interviewed the mother of Grace McDonald who was little girl killed at Sandy Hook and Her name was Lynn. This is just part of the interview that I'd done with Lynn.

[Lynn McDonnell]

The first time we had been able to be with her was last night. And when we walked in the room and we saw that white casket, it just. You felt like the floor was falling out beneath you and your breath was taken away. But earlier in the morning, I decided, because Grace loved art so much, we were packing Sharpies in our pockets. And when we got in, after we did our big family hug with Grace, we sat down and we busted out the Sharpies, and we decided that we were. At first, I envisioned maybe a little heart, but by the time we were done, there wasn't an inch of white. It was so covered with all the things that she loved. When we left the room, it was certainly so hard to leave her because that would be the last time that we would be able to be with her. We had to take great joy in knowing that when we walked in there, it was so white and our breath was taken away. But when we walked out of there, it was like we had joy again. It had so much color, and it was Grace. It was so Grace.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

You were able to give her things as well?

[Lynn McDonnell]

Yes. We brought her her favorite pocketbook, and we had seashells and flip flops and sunglasses. And she loved to cook. We had a frying pan. And she loved music. She has Taylor Swift Christmas song in there. She has her New York Yankee. She has her dad's New York Yankee hat.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Kenny Chesney.

[Lynn McDonnell]

You said she has a little Kenny Chesney in there.

[Kenny Chesney]

Notes from her friends.

[Lynn McDonnell]

Notes from her friends. Pictures of her family. So she had all the things that she loved with her. So we took. We took. We had peace when we left last night.

[Kenny Chesney]

Wow.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Before that interview, I was in their kitchen, and I was talking to them. And this was just days after their daughter was killed. And there was a photo of you on the refrigerator. And I said to Lynn, oh, do you like Kenny Chesney? And her eyes lit up, and she was like, oh, you know, Grace. Love Kenny Chesney. And in fact, the morning.

[Anderson Cooper]

She was.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Killed, we were standing at the school.

[Anderson Cooper]

Excuse me.

[Kenny Chesney]

No, it's okay.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

We were standing at the school bus, waiting for the bus, and we were.

[Anderson Cooper]

Singing a Kenny Chesney song.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

And I texted you that night because I had your number from doing the 60 Minutes piece, and I wasn't suggesting you do anything. I just texted you to say, hey, I just want you to know you really touched this family's life, and I'm sure you get That a lot because you touch a lot of people's lives. But this family really loved you. And this little girl who died really loved you. You texted me right back and you said you wanted to reach out to Lynn. And I got in touch with Lynn, made sure it was okay. You called Lynn and you spoke for a long time.

[Kenny Chesney]

Yeah. And we have since then become really good friends. I can't tell you how many shows her and Chris have come to over the years. And they actually brought me a piece of art that Grace painted. She loved painting and gave it to me and I had it framed and it was in my bus for years. You know what's crazy? And this is because I believe in. I'm a very spiritual person and I believe in people pushing people together. Do you know, today, as we are sitting here talking, and I'm not sure when this is running, but as I'm sitting here talking, today's November 4th, the day my book comes out. And I was going back and forth with Lynn on email just a couple weeks ago, and she goes, I'm really excited to see that your book's out, that it's coming out. And I said, well, thank you. She goes, I think you need to know. November 4th is Grace's birthday. She would have been 20 years old today.

[Anderson Cooper]

Oh, my God.

[Kenny Chesney]

And here we are talking. You're the one that connected me with that.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Incredible.

[Kenny Chesney]

Yeah, I know. I get chills thinking about it. I know today's her birthday. She would have been 20 today.

[Anderson Cooper]

Wow.

[Kenny Chesney]

And I don't know, I just.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

I just texted her son Jack just to check up on him, see how he's doing. It says, I mean, listen, I meet a lot of well known people. There's not a lot of people who would not only have reached out to her in the worst moment of her life for a conversation that would be nothing but difficult. And keep in touch with her. I mean, she's told me she's gone to.

[Kenny Chesney]

She's gone to numerous shows and every time they go to Hawaii, she brings me back a book like this book on just all things Aloha. And I have that in my house still today. And it's. What do you say in a real good friendship?

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

I mean, when you step into somebody's grief like that, what do you say?

[Kenny Chesney]

You just try to be there for them. I mean, there's not a lot to say. I can't imagine being a parent in that happening. She told me all these things about Grace that made me feel just incredible. I mean, how much she loved the music and how much their family, you know, went to the beach and listened to it, and how much I was a part of their household. And when Grace passed, you know, they had. I think her mother told me they had no shoes, no shirt, no problems written on the casket. I just think it's unbelievable that we're having this conversation on what would have been her 22nd. That's incredible that it worked. The timing of it all.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

At the end of that horrible week, you actually came on CNN and you sang.

[Anderson Cooper]

Amazing Grace.

[Singer (Kenny Chesney or guest)]

Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me I once was lost but now I'm found Was blessed but now I see Twas grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fear.

[Kenny Chesney]

Relieved.

[Singer (Kenny Chesney or guest)]

How precious did that grace appear the hour at first.

[Kenny Chesney]

Believe.

[Singer (Kenny Chesney or guest)]

Amazing grace How sweet the sound that savior I want Was lost but now I found Was blind but now I see I was blind but now I see.

[Kenny Chesney]

Wow.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

That's beautiful. I love that song.

[Kenny Chesney]

Well, me too. You know, watching that just. It's been how many years now? And the fact that we have this in our country and this. I know this is probably a whole other interview, but watching that, it's.

[Anderson Cooper]

It.

[Kenny Chesney]

It's stunning that we still have to deal with it and that we still. I mean, I'm so sick of watching sporting events and. And having moments of silence, and it seems like there's been a lot. So I don't know. And to know that Grace would have been 20 years old today is, you know, it's just a life cut short. But I do feel a connection with her and that family. I really do.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

As do I.

[Kenny Chesney]

And thanks to you.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

You've sung about grief. You've sung about loss a couple times.

[Kenny Chesney]

I think that the more you live, the more you experience loss. And I have over the last several years, I've. Friends that I've written songs with that I've collaborated with. I've lost heroes, I've lost island friends. And I don't think they're gone. They're here. They're here.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

You feel that?

[Kenny Chesney]

I feel it energetically. I feel them.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

It's interesting because I never used to. I would hear people talk about that, and it's only in the last couple years that I actually feel the people again.

[Kenny Chesney]

And I don't know that it's something that we ever get over.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Yeah, I don't think there's getting over. I think there's kind of turning toward living with.

[Kenny Chesney]

Yeah. And I think especially if you lose someone, if they're Young. I lost a friend of mine in the islands. She was in her 30s. And when she passed, it was like we were all frozen in that moment forever at that age.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

There's another song you have, who youo'd Be Today, which sort of speaks to that. I want to play a little bit of who youo'd Be Today.

[Kenny Chesney]

Okay.

[Singer (Kenny Chesney or guest)]

God knows how I miss you all the hell that I've been through Just knowing no one can take your place Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today.

[Kenny Chesney]

Today, today.

[Singer (Kenny Chesney or guest)]

Sunny days seem to hurt the most I wear the pain like a heavy coat the only thing that gives me hope Is I know I'll see you again someday.

[Kenny Chesney]

I didn't write that song, but when I heard it, I specifically thought about there was a couple of guys that lived across the street from me as a child, and we didn't have anything. We didn't have devices. We didn't have the Internet. We didn't have cable, nothing. So all we did was play sports out in the backyard. And his name was Lance Wilson, and he got killed in a car wreck at 17 in Jacksonville, Florida, after they moved away. That was the first time I really experienced real loss. And I heard this song, I went, wow. That's exactly how I wonder about Lance, what he would have been like. Would he have had a feeling, family? Would he have what he would have done with his life?

[Anderson Cooper]

More of my conversation with Kenny Chesney in a moment. But first, if you want to listen or watch past episodes of the podcast, you can do that wherever you get your podcasts or on our grief community [e-mail] allthereis that's where you can also watch our new weekly companion show, All There is live Thursday nights at 9:15pm and catch pest episodes of it as well. CNN.comAllThereis I'll see you there. We'll be right back with more from Kenny Chesney.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

You had two beloved dogs who died, Poncho and Ruby.

[Kenny Chesney]

And we call them Da Ponch and Da Ruby Girl.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

There's a song, Daruba Girl.

[Kenny Chesney]

Yes. I wrote a song called Darubai Girl. And I was one of those guys that really didn't have dogs in their life, right? And I didn't even think about it. But my therapist, like, two days before Christmas came to me and she knocked on the door and I opened the door and it's her, and she has Poncho. And she goes, kenny, you have to learn to attach to something. I was like, next thing you know, Anderson, I'm in An anxiety pit at petsmart, not knowing what to get. So I just got, like, two of everything. Right. And then when Mary and I got together, she had a pit bull rescue. And so Ruby and Pancho never spent a day apart, ever. So when Ruby passed, she was a little older than Poncho. It was really. It's really difficult, you know, because we were family.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Well, also, it's a loss that we've done. We have had people on the podcast. It's a terrible loss, pet loss, because a lot of people don't view it the same way as, you know, it's a connection as strong as any other for many people.

[Kenny Chesney]

Anderson. I love animals, and I. When Ruby passed, it was really, really difficult. It was as terrible as any friend I've ever had that has passed.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

I just want to play a little of Daruba.

[Kenny Chesney]

Okay. I didn't see this coming. I love it now. See, this was going to get me.

[Singer (Kenny Chesney or guest)]

You needed her. She needed you to hold to help fill a space. Last and last cage at the rescue was a love that no one.

[Anderson Cooper]

It's great.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

I've never heard it.

[Singer (Kenny Chesney or guest)]

Lying there like a lost string of pearls was Darun.

[Kenny Chesney]

I did a video on it and everything.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Yeah.

[Singer (Kenny Chesney or guest)]

Her best friend's name is Poncho, and she loves him. Oh, my gosh. Like Frosty Po. She hates the mowers and the marrow. Like, she hates to get a wash. Her hair doesn't grow and it doesn't curl. She's the Ruby.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

I love it.

[Kenny Chesney]

Yeah. So you never know what's going to inspire you. I love that, you know, But I love animals, and I love pit bulls, and Ruby taught me pit bulls get a bad rap. Well, Ruby taught me a really good lesson.

[Anderson Cooper]

She was a rescuer.

[Kenny Chesney]

Yeah. But I grew up in an environment where we were taught that pit bulls were dangerous and that pit bulls were mean. And Ruby taught me a lesson like, if you mistreat an animal enough, any breed will be that way. And, yeah, they get a really bad rap. She was very loyal. She was very strong, and she got to sleep in the bed a lot because I let my and miss that dog.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

I heard you say that when you found out she had cancer, that rather than grieving while she was still alive, you wanted to fill her time with love.

[Kenny Chesney]

Mary and I took her everywhere. She went to Florida. She went to Malibu. She went to the Virgin Islands. We didn't want to, you know, we didn't want to sit in the house and just watch her deteriorate because she was going to anyway. There Was no stopping it. So we just filled her, me and Mary and Pontius. We went everywhere. And she loved to lay in the sun. She loved to listen to the waves crash. And that's something that we had in common, you know, and so. But it was hard. I mean, like, losing an animal. Like, for a lot of years we were a unit, all of us. And so that was as difficult of a death and grieving that I've ever experienced, honestly.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Was there a time where you felt, okay, I'm ready to. To bring another four legged future into.

[Kenny Chesney]

My life or not yet, because Mary's still grieving it. I mean, she's just not ready. It's been. Well, it'll be four years next month, so she's not ready. And it really crushed her. I was one of those guys that didn't really have animals in my life until Pancho and Ruby, but I spent so much time with them. Now, you know how you can go in a car and you can stop at a red light and there'll be a dog sitting with his head out the window? Like, now I can, I feel like anyway that I can look at that dog and dissect his personality, you know, not that I'm a dog whisperer or anything, but that's how much in tune I am now compared to before Pancho and Ruby.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Just listening to that song, it reminds me of something you said about songwriting. And you write about it in the book.

[Anderson Cooper]

You said the job is to take a slice of life, write all about it, slice it down to what matters, then cut that feeling wide open.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Yeah, I love that.

[Kenny Chesney]

Yeah. Thank you. I mean, but it's difficult finding commonality with people through songs and in a short period of time is. I have to scratch and claw for everything I get as a creative person. Really. Yeah. But it's the part of my life that I truly love the most. And being creative and having that gift is one of the most unbelievable gifts that you could have. I've lost someone recently, you know, someone that I created with for a very long time. My friend Brett James, who. Who was killed in a plane crash a couple months ago. And it's been hard because we were brothers and we were songwriting partners and we came from different places, but, I mean, he wrote so many of my songs, and those that he didn't write with me, I wrote with him. His creative energy and his creative soul changed my life. There's a huge part of my show that is. That's our creative energy. And then all of a sudden that stops.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Do you feel him when you sing songs that you guys wrote together or worked on.

[Kenny Chesney]

I had to go. So the first time I sang one of his songs after he passed was at Farm Aid with Willie Nelson in Minneapolis. And all of a sudden, it hit me. I was gonna do a song called when the Sun Goes down, which he wrote by himself. And it was the first time it was really. The wound was really open. It was really fresh, his passing. And I had to go up there and sing, and I haven't had to sing it since. But I'm going to, because I'm not going to let that stop me. It's almost like in a celebratory way now. And I can't even believe that. It's so fresh and new, the grief and everything in his passing that I can't believe I'm talking about it in those terms.

[Anderson Cooper]

In the past tense.

[Kenny Chesney]

Yeah. Like all of it. I create everything in the past tense because Brett was just one of those guys that, I mean, I thought was always going to be around. And it's been really, really, really difficult. And it was a moment that really hit the whole town of Nashville really hard because he just didn't create for me. I mean, he was a creative machine and a soul and a great, you know, and a great guy and a dear friend. And we went on a lot of riding trips together, and we. I mean, we had a ton of authentic life fun. I mean, a lot in the islands. You've seen a lot of those places on the road. And he would share the stage with me, and I don't know, he was just a brother, and it would just. He had a bad day in a plane, you know, and it sucks.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

Is there something you've learned in your grief or in the losses you've experienced that would be helpful for others who are going through it right now?

[Kenny Chesney]

Wow. Everyone is different. Time does heal some. It won't erase.

[Anderson Cooper (continued)]

It changes.

[Kenny Chesney]

It changes. Yeah. Your grief will change over time.

[Anderson Cooper]

Kenny Chesney, thank you so much.

[Kenny Chesney]

Thank you, my brother.

[Anderson Cooper]

Next week on All There Is comedian and cancer survivor Tig Notaro. It's a funny and moving conversation about loss. Tig's close friend, poet Andrea Gibson, recently died, and Tig was at Andrea's bedside.

[Tig Notaro]

I have to say, it's really the first time I've experienced a death in the way that I have, where I really feel Andrea, and I don't know what that is, but the grief leading up and the grief I feel, you know how tricky it is. You go about your day and you're doing all right and then all of a sudden a truck parks itself on your chest and you can't do anything because it's like, it's so confusing that Andrea's gone.

[Anderson Cooper]

Join me on Thursdays at 9:15pm for my new weekly companion show called All There Is Live. It'll be live streamed on our grief community [e-mail] allthereis every Thursday night at 9:15pm we can come together there, talk grief and not be alone. You can also follow us on our new Instagram account, allthereis and send us video messages there. Just make sure that you either them on your phone and upload them directly to our Instagram message board or if you record them directly in Instagram, make sure you click the Allow replay prompt so that it reads keep in chat. And that will allow us to save your messages and possibly use them on the podcast. You can also leave us messages at our new voicemail box, 404-827-1805. Wherever you are in your grief, I'm glad we're together.