Podcast Summary: All Things Catholic with Dr. Edward Sri – "3 Ways We Misuse Anger" (September 9, 2025)
Episode Overview
In this episode, Dr. Edward Sri explores the passion of anger from a Catholic perspective, drawing upon St. Thomas Aquinas’s teaching to help listeners recognize three main ways we misuse anger. With relatable examples and practical wisdom, Dr. Sri encourages intentional self-examination and a closer relationship with God through honest prayer about anger.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Purpose of Anger in the Christian Life
- Anger is a neutral passion given by God (01:36).
- When harnessed properly, it drives us to address injustices and work for greater harmony in relationships and society.
- However, if unmanaged, anger can lead to greater harm, division, and fragmentation.
2. Aquinas's Three Ways We Misuse Anger
A. The Object of Our Anger: Are We Angry for the Right Reasons?
(13:12)
- Anger becomes sinful when directed at the wrong things—minor family mishaps, denied promotions where others deserved them, or unmet personal desires.
- Notable example: Getting upset with a child who lost their shoes or spilled a drink (14:30).
- Workplace analogy: Misplaced anger over not getting a promotion when a colleague deserved it (16:52).
- Family scenarios: Feeling anger when adult children make independent decisions, like skipping a traditional Thanksgiving gathering (18:40).
- Insight: Even misguided anger reveals inner values, fears, or attachments—opportunities for growth if examined thoughtfully.
- "There's a deeper concern there and that's valuable, that's valuable information." (10:53)
B. Our Intentions: Are We Seeking Restoration or Revenge?
(28:10)
- Proper anger seeks to restore justice and harmony, but it can devolve into spite—wanting others to suffer or pay for their actions.
- Examples: Giving the "silent treatment," wishing harm, or withholding invitations (29:52).
- Encouragement to self-reflect: Are we protecting ourselves, seeking to feel superior, or wielding control?
- "Sometimes we do that because we just want to protect ourselves. Or…making fun of the other person…helps me to feel superior." (31:14)
C. The Degree of Our Anger: Is It Proportionate?
(36:29)
- Proportionality is crucial: Overreacting (e.g., yelling at a child over spilled milk or punching someone for stepping on your toe) shows disordered anger.
- Dr. Sri acknowledges legitimate anger but warns against excessive responses (37:40).
- "Is my degree of anger proportionate to the injustice that was committed?" (38:05)
3. The Spiritual Value of Examining and Expressing Anger
- Listeners are encouraged not to suppress anger, but to thoughtfully process it and discover underlying emotions or wounds (11:05; 20:22).
- Honest prayer: Bring anger candidly to God. God is "big enough" to handle all emotions—pain, shame, and sorrow.
- "What if you knew that you had permission from God to talk to him candidly about what's upsetting you, what you're angry about…?" (42:55)
- References to the Book of Job, Psalms, and Lamentations, where biblical figures express intense anger and questioning to God (43:49).
4. Practical Takeaways
- Use Aquinas's three-fold lens as an examination of conscience regarding anger:
- Am I angry about the right thing?
- Do I have a good, restorative intention?
- Is my response proportionate?
- Let anger inspire virtue, humility, better self-knowledge, and deeper intimacy with God and others.
- Dr. Sri invites listeners to read his book, The Art of Living, for further exploration of the cardinal virtues.
Memorable Quotes with Timestamps
-
"Anger is one of the passions. It's neutral. It's neither good nor evil, but God gave it to us and it can be used for good."
— Dr. Sri (02:40) -
"Even when we fall…even that anger is still telling us something important that we want to pay attention to so we can channel this passion in a more beautiful way, a helpful way—a virtuous way."
— Dr. Sri (10:35) -
"Is it about just one person getting their own pleasure or is it really about the couple coming together in greater unity, greater trust, greater love…?"
— Dr. Sri (21:10) -
"To the extent that I've got this vengeful side of me that just wants to make them pay, to that extent…my anger is not being helpful here."
— Dr. Sri (29:23) -
"Is my degree of anger proportionate to the injustice that was committed?"
— Dr. Sri (38:05) -
"Do you actually talk to God about your anger? Do you bring it to him?...God's big enough that he can handle our anger."
— Dr. Sri (42:55)
Important Timestamps
- 00:00 – Opening scenario questions; the origin and purpose of anger
- 10:35 – The deeper story behind our anger
- 13:12 – #1 Misuse: Anger at the wrong things (object)
- 28:10 – #2 Misuse: Wrong intentions (seeking revenge)
- 36:29 – #3 Misuse: Disproportionate responses
- 42:55 – Invitation to honest prayer; bringing anger to God
Final Thoughts
Dr. Sri provides a compassionate, practical look at anger, blending wisdom from Aquinas with vivid real-life examples. Listeners are invited to deeper self-examination—not to suppress or fear their anger, but to understand, bring it to God, and use it as a catalyst for growth, healing, and true Christian virtue.