All Things Catholic with Dr. Edward Sri

Episode Title: Impure Thoughts: How Far is Too Far?
Date: November 25, 2025
Host: Dr. Edward Sri
Podcast by: Ascension

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Edward Sri explores the nuanced Catholic teaching on impure thoughts, specifically asking: Where is the line between innocent appreciation of beauty and lust? Drawing from the foundational insights of St. John Paul II, especially his work Love and Responsibility, Dr. Sri clarifies the psychological and spiritual stages leading to lust, discusses the difference between temptation and sin, and offers practical advice for living chastely. Listeners receive both compassionate understanding of the human struggle and concrete steps for growth in purity.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Distinguishing Beauty, Attraction, and Lust

• God’s Design of Sensual Desire
  • Dr. Sri reminds listeners that being attracted to another’s beauty is natural and good:

    “God made people beautiful, and surely he wants us to appreciate their beauty. So what's the difference between an innocent interest in someone's physical appearance and a lustful thought?” (01:26)

  • Sensual desire is created by God to draw us towards others and potentially to love, not merely to physical pleasure.
• The Line is Crossed When…
  • Attraction becomes lust when someone is reduced “to just a body,” treated as an object, or used—even in thought—for personal pleasure (04:10).

2. Challenging Common Objections

• Some people justify lustful thoughts as harmless if unacted upon:

  “Some people might object and say, 'Oh, come on, what's the big deal? You know, what's going on in my head doesn't really matter. So if I look at someone lustfully and have a lustful thought, what's the big deal? That's a private matter. I'm not hurting anybody.'” (05:10)

• Dr. Sri warns that using someone in thought hinders “our ability to love other people” (05:36).

3. Three Stages Toward Lust (John Paul II’s Model)

Dr. Sri explains the three stages, according to Love and Responsibility:

Stage 1: Spontaneous Sensual Reaction (06:54)

• Natural, immediate attraction to another’s physical beauty.
• Not sinful:

  “This is just a spontaneous sensual reaction; nothing sinful. Remember, God made us with this sensual desire.”

• Example: Noticing someone attractive at a party.

Stage 2: Sensual Concupiscence (09:18)

• Attraction risks becoming a self-centered desire or craving.

• Key Insight: Not yet sinful if resisted.

  > “At this level, it's not necessarily sinful, yet—as long as the will is still resisting, not consenting to this part of it that wants to consume the other person.”  
  

• The inner battle: Feeling the pull, but choosing not to consent.

• “There's a big difference between not wanting and not feeling or experiencing… My deepest self is still resisting, not consenting.” (10:41)

Stage 3: Carnal Desire (Consent to Lust) (13:25)

• The will gives up resisting and consents to using the person for pleasure (even only in thoughts or imagination).

  > “Now my will consents. And I'm choosing now—I’m choosing to actively pursue what's happening in my sensual desires.”  
  

• This is where sin occurs:

  “Now I'm actively seeking it out, actively trying to feed that sensual desire. Now I'm crossing the border into sin.” (19:18)

4. Biblical Example: David and Bathsheba (14:33)

Dr. Sri unpacks 2 Samuel 11:

• David’s initial, unintentional glance at Bathsheba is a spontaneous sensual reaction (Stage 1).
• His lingering gaze and curiosity (“calling his servants to inquire about her”) move into sensual concupiscence (Stage 2).
• By sending for her and committing adultery, David fully consents (carnal desire, Stage 3—sin).

Modern Parallels

• Seeing provocative images on billboards, online, or in commercials can unexpectedly spark reactions.

  > “We have little moments like David had with Bathsheba appearing. We have little moments like that all the time in our lives.” (**16:05**)
  

• Temptation is not sin, but willful lingering or seeking out is.

5. Practical Takeaways for the Battle for Purity (21:09)

a) Have Humility

• Accept that we’re fallen and wounded by original sin. Spiritual pride expects perfection.

  > “We’re fallen human beings... Don't pridefully expect that all concupiscence, desire, is just going to immediately disappear. Voila.” (**21:17**)
  

b) Take Courage

• The battle is ongoing and resisting, even if difficult, is faithfulness.

  > “Even though I may feel stuff within me, I'm choosing not to consent. We're in good space. We're in the battle.” (**23:00**)
  

c) Trust God’s Mercy When You Fall

• If you cross the line, trust God’s mercy. Go to confession for healing and grace.

  > “His love for you is not dependent on how well you perform on the matters of purity. It’s just that he wants purity for you because that's when we're free.” (**24:15**)
  

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On initial attraction:

  “It's one thing to just admire someone's beauty...Then there's a lustful thought. What's the difference? How do we cross that line?” — Dr. Sri (02:13)

• On resisting interiorly:

  “As long as the will is still resisting, still trying, not consenting, not throwing in the towel at this stage, it's a difficult stage to be in, but it's not yet sinful.” — Dr. Sri (12:24)

• On God's mercy:

  “Even with all that, he loves you. He knows you—even in your weakness, even in your failure. His love is not dependent on how well you perform… His love for you is unconditional.” — Dr. Sri (25:10)

Key Timestamps

• 01:26 – Framing the episode: Difference between appreciating beauty and lust.
• 04:10 – The moment attraction becomes lust: reduction to a body.
• 06:54 – JP2’s Stage 1: Spontaneous sensual reaction explained.
• 09:18 – JP2’s Stage 2: Sensual concupiscence and the inner battle.
• 13:25 – JP2’s Stage 3: Willful consent and sin.
• 14:33 – David and Bathsheba: Biblical illustration.
• 16:05 – Modern examples of spontaneous temptation.
• 19:18 – Crossing the line into sin: when consent is given.
• 21:09 – Takeaways: humility, courage, mercy.
• 24:15 – God’s unconditional love.

Conclusion

Dr. Sri encourages listeners to have patience with themselves and trust in God’s mercy. He stresses that interior purity is an ongoing struggle, but victory is found in resisting temptation, not in never being tempted. For further guidance, he points listeners to his book, Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love, now republished by Ascension Press.

Recommended Resource:

• Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love by Edward Sri – ascensionpress.com