← All Things Catholic with Dr. Edward Sri
All Things Catholic with Dr. Edward Sri
The Bible Commands us to "Be Angry"?
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Why did God give us the passion of anger? Dr. Sri examines both the virtue of righteous anger, which seeks to restore justice and harmony, and the pitfalls of sinful anger and unreasonable patience.
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This podcast is brought to you by Ascension. To discover even more free Catholic podcasts, videos and resources to help you live your faith every day, visit ascensionpress.com hi, I'm Edward Sri, and welcome to All Things Catholic, where real faith meets real life. Did you know that the Bible actually commands us to be angry? Yes. In sacred Scripture, the inspired word of God says, be angry, but do not sin. That's what we find in Ephesians 4:26. But I think Christians have a hard time with anger in many complex ways. On one hand, many of us just struggle with losing our temper. We can struggle with sinful anger, and we overreact to the imperfections and failures of the people around us. But on the other hand, sometimes we tend to think that all anger is always bad. We could tell ourselves, I should never be angry. I should always be kind and patient and forgiving. That's what a good Christian does. Should never get angry. And then when we notice ourselves getting angry, when we're not treated well, when there's injustices in the world or in the communities around us, we notice that and we feel bad and we go, oh, I shouldn't be angry. But actually, no. The Bible says, be angry, but do not sin. We could also tend to look at others and we notice others when they're angry. And we could look down on them and judge them, why are they so angry? They shouldn't be so angry. We could do this with our kids. We tell our children, don't be angry. You should be grateful. You have it much better than many other people. Don't be angry. As Christians, we want to remember that anger is a passion God gave us. Our loving Heavenly Father when he created us, created us with the passion of anger. That means it can't be all bad and it can be used for good. Jesus himself, the Son of God, got angry when he went into the temple. The week before he dies, he goes in and turns over the tables of the money changers, angry over the injustices in the temple. The Bible says, be angry, but do not sin. But what exactly is anger and how does God want us to use it for good? When we notice anger coming up inside of us, how might God be inviting us to use it for some good in this world? But what are some of the traps we can fall into in the ways we could use our anger in a harmful way? This is what we're going to take a look at in this week's podcast. So welcome to All Things Catholic. I'm your host, Edward Sri, and so excited to get into this topic today, you know, we've been looking at the various virtues and vices related to the cardinal virtue of temperance, self control. We first considered self control related to the attractions to bodily pleasures of food, drink and sex, particularly gluttony. We looked at a couple weeks ago, last time we considered a certain moderation with need about our view of ourselves, the view we have of our own excellence. Do we fall into a prideful view of ourselves or one that's grounded in the truth about ourselves as dependent on God and humility? So we talked about pride and humility last week. This time, I want to take a look at this complex view of anger. I think there's so many misunderstandings about anger that are out there today. I want to ground this in a truly Catholic way of looking at this. What is anger? Anger is the passion. It's the desire for justice, a desire to set things right. And like all the other passions, these passions are neutral. They're not good or evil in themselves. They're neutral. It all depends on how we use them. And so God gave us the passion of anger. He wanted it to be used for a certain good. What's that good? Well, what anger can do is drive us to maintain or restore justice, right relationships, harmony in the world around us. So when we happen to notice someone not being treated well, we notice a certain injustice in this world, in our families, in our workplaces and our communities, we feel the need to want to do something. We want to set things right. That's good. When we notice an injustice committed against us, someone doesn't treat us well, we're hurt by someone, we're not treated fairly. Again, we notice that, and something comes up within us. We feel that. We feel the urge to want to do something. We don't want to be treated this way. We want to set things right. So the passion of anger can be used for good. That's called righteous anger. And we know it could be used in ways that bring greater harm and disharmony and fragmentation and hurt in this world. And we want to avoid that as well. But let's take a look at this idea of anger and how it drives us, motivates us to set things right, to have harmonious relationships, to bring justice into this world. I want to consider some different examples from ordinary daily life. Just let's take a look at the workplace. For example, imagine if someone at work, one of your friends, one of your colleagues, is not being treated well in the office. He's being misunderstood. In fact, he's Being misrepresented. Let's say there's another employee in the office who's very insecure, envious, very competitive, and he views your friend as a threat. And so what he does is when he has meetings with the boss, he casually just drops little points about how this other co worker dropped the ball. Or there's all these little criticisms that come up. He's like a worm tongue creating a false narrative about your colleague. When you see that going on, doesn't that frustrate you? Even as I told the story, did you notice just in yourself did you go, oh, I hate when those things happen? Oh, that's not just, that's not fair. That's the passion of anger motivating you to want to set things right. And you can take that to prayer and say, lord, am I called to do anything here? Is there anything I can do? Maybe you're just called to comfort your friend and support your friend in this. Maybe you're called to say something to the boss. Maybe you're called to confront that other colleague that is doing this wicked thing and creating the false narratives. But how you respond we'll take a look at next. But the fact that you notice something in you in a situation like that coming up, that passion of anger, it's not bad. It's a good thing that you want to set things right and bring justice and right relationships. Let's think about family life. This happens all the time in family life. You know, let's say there's a dad that notices that one of the children, the maybe older brother, is not treating the younger sister well. He's making fun of her, saying hurtful things, taking her toys and she cries and she's sad. Now, as a father, is he motivated, is he driven to want to set things right, to bring greater harmony in the home, to comfort the younger sister that's been hurt by the older brother, to discipline the older brother, to invite them to come together and repair and restore the relationship. If there's something coming up in the dad that is driving him to want to set things right, that's a good thing. See, anger isn't all bad. I mean, again, Jesus, the word made flesh, the eternal son of God, who became man, got angry. You know, you think about what he did when he went into the temple there the week before he dies. He sees the injustice there in the temple. Here's the background. There's these money changers in the table that Jesus is going to flip over those tables. He sees an injustice. What's that Injustice. Well, when you go to the temple to worship, you needed to get the local currency because you're traveling from different parts of Israel and you need to get the local currency in Jerusalem so that you can then buy an animal. So you don't have to bring your animals for sacrifice from, you know, a three day journey, you just buy the animals there in Jerusalem and then you present it to the priest to be offered in sacrifice so that you can fulfill your spiritual duty, your responsibility for God and to worship him and offer the sacrifice. Now this used to take place, all this trade and commerce for the temple's sake used to take place across the valley on the Mount of Olives. But then the chief priests in Jesus time, they had brought all this chaos and the market placed right there into what is called the court of the Gentiles. It's the outermost court of the temple. But it was the closest a non Jew could get to the holy of holies to worship God. So it's right there. This is the one place they can go to pray and to worship God. And now there's all this chaos of the money changers and the trade going on. And Jesus sees this injustice and he's angry. And so he turns over the tables of the money changers and think about what that does. In one fell swoop, he stops the temple system. The entire temple system is brought to a halt that day, at least for a few minutes, a few hours. Because if you can't get the local currency, you can't buy the animals, then you can't present the animals to the priests, which means the priest can't offer the animals in sacrifice. Animal sacrifice was brought to a halt for a few minutes, a few hours that day. Jesus sees the injustice and calls out the Jewish leaders of the temple on this. He was angry. He wanted to set things right. That's why I said, you've turned this place into a den of thieves. It should be a house of prayer for all the nations. I think what we see in these examples is that when we notice an injustice in the world, something comes up within us. This desire, this passion to want to set things right, that could be a really good thing. We want to be careful not to use that anger in a way that is disproportionate, in a way that Aquinas will say is sinful and that brings greater harm in this world. But the fact that it's there is a good thing. We want to pay attention to that. Jesus loved the Gentiles so much, he didn't want them to continue being treated so unjustly, not being able to pray in the temple. The father that disciplines the child and brings about a repair and helps facilitate greater reconciliation is doing a good thing because he loves his children, he loves his family life. And the co worker at work that wants to help the one that's suffering and bring justice, that's a good thing to notice that. Now, Aquinas says that while we can fall into sinful anger, when we allow that desire for justice to lead us into ways that bring greater harm, where we get angry over the wrong things or we get angry in a way that's disproportionate to the injustice that was done, that's called sinful anger. But on the other side, we have another weakness that Aquinas calls unreasonable patience. It's when we don't get angry over the things we should. And so virtue is always in the middle. Virtuous anger is when we use that passion of anger to bring greater harmony, greater repair, greater reconciliation, greater justice. In this world, we set things right, we use it in a moderate way. That's in the middle. That's the virtue of meekness. When we can moderate our anger to bring about greater good. And we often think of, well, the way I fall into sin with anger is when I, you know, I become a rage monster. You know, I become a person that's just really angry and I've got this fury and I'm just lashing out at people seeking to destroy other people. That's one way you can fall into sinful anger. But there's the other extreme on the other side, what Aquinas calls unreasonable patience. And that's when we don't get angry over the things we should. You see, God gave us this passion because he wants us to use it for good. But when we ignore what's coming up inside of us, it actually does greater harm to other people and maybe even harm within ourselves. We're going to see, for example, imagine that father happens to notice that the older brother just stole the younger sister's toy and is making fun of her, but he doesn't do anything about it. Is that healthy? Is that good for the harmony within the family? You know, let's say he's just too busy. He's watching his game and he doesn't want to deal with this chaos going on with the kids. Or he's just scrolling on Instagram, or he's just too busy working on his laptop, doing some work. You know, when we fail to like, we notice Some an injustice. We might notice something coming up within us, but then we just ignore actually does greater harm. Aquinas says when we fall into this unreasonable patience where we don't get angry over the things we should, it encourages wickedness to continue. You know, think about that again. If that older brother sees that he can get away with stealing the younger sister's candy or ice cream or favorite toy, and he sees that, oh, there's. There's no problem with this, he's kind of rewarded for this unjust act. He gets more ice cream. He gets his favorite candy, he gets to play with the toy whenever he wants. It encourages him to continue so the father doesn't get up and actually have a conversation with the son to bring greater harmony. It encourages that son to grow in greater selfishness and continue to hurt his sister. Similarly, if you think about that person in the office place, that wormtongue that's going around creating the false narrative about the other colleague, if he sees that he gets away with it, he sees that he's actually rewarded. The boss thinks, oh, he's really wise. He's smart. He understands the dynamics of what's happening in the office. If he's encouraged and rewarded for this, it just encourages him to continue in this behavior. You see, when we don't get angry over the things we should, it encourages wickedness to continue. But Aquinas says something even more. He says that when we fall into unreasonable patience, we don't get angry over the things we should. It leads to even the good being confused, the good falling into evil. Again, picture the family dynamic. You know, the other siblings are watching that the older brother keeps stealing the younger sister's stuff, and mom and dad don't say anything about it, don't do anything about it, and he just keeps getting away with it. Then other kids who may not have been inclined to do that might start to go, oh, well, I guess I can steal from other people, and I can just take things when I want, and I could treat other people however I want. They start to think it's okay. It's kind of like in society, you know, if Christians don't stand up for human life, just use that topic, for example, we don't stand up for the dignity of human life. Then it encourages abortion to expand, and even the good start to become confused. They start to wonder, huh, Our bishops, our priests, our Catholic leaders don't say anything about abortion. So maybe it's not that big of a deal. So maybe it's okay, maybe I can support abortion. Abortion candidates, abortion programs. Maybe it's not that big of a deal. Like, when we don't stand up for truth, it causes greater confusion in this world. What I want to highlight here, though, is it may be easier for us to notice the positive aspects of anger when we consider how it affects other people. You know, when we see that there's an injustice committed against someone else, against my colleague, my fellow parishioner, my friend, my family member, when I see that they're being treated unjustly, and I notice that anger coming up within me, motivating me to want to do something to either support or help bring justice and bring reconciliation, I get that. That makes sense. But here's my question. This is what I want to really zoom in on here, is what about when there's an injustice committed against you? How do you respond when you're not treated well, when you're overlooked, when you're misunderstood, when you're disrespected, when you're forgotten? How do you respond? I think there's some of us that immediately respond with a lot of anger, and we get frustrated, we get angry, and we're motivated to want to set things right. But it can come out as rage. We could just, you know, get really angry at our kids, stop doing this. It can come out in maybe not the best ways, but I want to address something else. There's some of us that when we're not treated well, we may be just waving a Catholic flag and saying, oh, well, I shouldn't be angry right now. Yes, that didn't feel good, but, you know, it's not that big of a deal, and I'll just carry this cross and I should just be patient, I should be kind. I should just forgive. I really want to ask you, when you are not treated well, do you notice something coming up inside you? You know, somebody says something to you, somebody misunderstands you, misrepresents you, doesn't thank you, speaks to you with that certain tone of voice, condescending, or isn't looking out for your needs isn't being thoughtful. How do you respond? Do you notice something coming up inside you? When these things happen, when we. We're not treated well, we feel it. Ouch. That didn't feel good. Why did he do that? Why did she say that? I don't like being treated that way. I want to think about in those moments, some of us, again, we might have no problem with anger rising to the surface, and we notice it, but there's some of us that might be tempted to ignore or suppress that anger and say, oh, it's not a big deal. We just kind of rationalize it away. Oh, it's not a big deal. Oh, yeah, that happens. But, you know, I'll just offer it up and we might even be tempted to spiritualize and just say, well, you know, I'm just going to take the higher road. I'm not going to be angry and be like Jesus and turn the other cheek. And we're just spiritualizing this injustice that was just committed against us, this hurt that was just inflicted upon us or some hurt that was inflicted upon us in the past and say, oh, it's not that big of a deal. It doesn't really affect me right now. I'm okay, I'll just offer it up and I'll just turn the other cheek. But maybe those little spiritual Catholic biblical lines are just covering up a deeper problem that Jesus wants to free you from. Maybe you're a people pleaser. Maybe you just fear conflict. You're not being so Christian and spiritual. It's just you're so afraid of conflict. You avoid conflict like the plague. You're so scared to ever bring up a need, ever bring up a problem with someone and you're just, you just don't want to rock the boat. Maybe that's actually the deeper thing Jesus wants to put his finger on and free you from because he loves you and your needs matter and you shouldn't be treated this way. But yet you wave the Catholic biblical flag and say, I'm just going to forgive, just turn the other cheek, just take up the cross and just offer it up. But it's really not that spiritual. It's a defense mechanism. You're just bypassing this fear that you have, this deeper fear of conflict. And so you never express your needs, you never stand up for yourself. And it enables the people around you to treat you poorly. But Jesus doesn't want you to be treated poorly. He wants you to be treated with dignity, with respect, with love. That's why he wants to put his finger on this deeper issue. And that anger that you start noticing coming up within you, that's one of the way things God is using. He's speaking through your body here to notice that you do need to have a crucial conversation with this other person. You need to tell them that this is not how I should be treated. You need to tell them your needs. That's rooted in love, by the way. This is what Jesus did. You know Jesus, yes, he flipped over the tables of money changers, but Man. Read a couple chapters later, Matthew, chapter 23. This is just a couple days before he dies. He has a confrontation with his arch nemesis, the Pharisees. And he loves the Pharisees so much, he's willing to have a crucial conversation with them. And he paints a picture of what's really happening because he loves them so much. He came for them, you know, he came for all of us, and he came for even his enemies, the Pharisees. He wants to offer them forgiveness, love, the Holy Spirit, salvation. He loves them so much that he's basically in Matthew 23, he uses really harsh language, tough love, to wake them up. He says, woe to you, scribes and Pharisees. You will make yourself twice as much a child of hell as the converts you're making. Whoa. What happened to kind, gentle, turn the other cheek? Jesus here, he's talking about how they're going to make themselves twice as much a child of hell. Why is Jesus speaking so harshly so directly? It's because he loves them, you see, he knows that if they continue to persist in rejecting him, in rejecting his love, rejecting his mercy, if they keep persisting and saying he's the enemy and he's evil and he's satanic, if they die with that, they're going to be eternally separated from him. They're going to get what they want. They didn't want Jesus, and that's what they'll end up with. And Jesus wants them so much, and he loves them so much. He wants to show them clearly, this is the path you're on, and this is where it's leading. And that tough love worked. We know that there were a number of Pharisees that had a conversion in the end. Think of Nicodemus, who was confused and didn't understand Jesus. And he comes and he's there at the cross, and he's there helping with the burial. It's beautiful. And many other Pharisees we know converted over the years. Jesus loved them enough to have the hard conversations. How might Jesus be inviting you to have a crucial conversation? Is there someone in your life not treating you well? Is there someone that has hurt you and you need to talk to them about it so that you can set a boundary with them? Is God inviting you to express the tough love that Jesus expressed? And yet we notice this anger coming up within us, and it's pointing to something, it's telling us something, but we can quickly suppress it and say, oh, I should just forgive, just turn the other cheek. I want to just mention one More thing here. I think another reason we might be afraid to allow that anger to notice it is many times anger is the first step toward a deeper experience of pain and heartache and grief. Underneath our anger is often a very deep hurt. And if I start to feel the weight of my anger, I might start to feel the weight of these deeper hurts in my life. Some of us might have serious wounds, injuries in our lives, neglect, abuse. Whether it's the way a boss has treated you, your pastor has treated you, your spouse has treated you, or maybe your parents. That's a really hard one. Maybe our parents didn't give us the love we needed growing up, the security, the safety we needed. Maybe they were emotionally neglecting us. They just weren't there. They weren't present, they didn't connect with us. Or maybe they abused us psychologically, maybe they abused us physically. There could be a whole set of things that there's deep, deep wounds. And if I allow myself to be angry about those injustices of the past, I'm going to have to come to terms with the great loss, the great pain, the great heartache. And I don't want to go there. I'm scared. And I get that. And that makes sense. Anger is often the first step or an earlier step at least, toward deeper grief. And we're so scared of that sorrow and grief in facing that. But maybe God's inviting you to meet him there. Maybe God's allowing you to come to terms with these deeper wounds in your life, and he wants to meet you there to know you're not alone in it. And he wants to bring a greater security, a greater healing in your life. So in this episode, we're just looking at how anger is itself neutral. And it was made for good. God wanted us to use it for good. And one of the goods, you know, can be just setting things right in relationships around us, in the workplace, the home, our churches, our communities, but also setting things right within our own souls. That he wants to bring a greater justice and holiness within us, a greater healing within us, so we can be curious when we notice the anger. Why am I feeling angry right now? What is this anger trying to tell me? What might God be inviting me to do? Might God be inviting me to have a crucial conversation with someone to address a certain injustice out there in the world, in my workplace, in my family? Or maybe is God inviting me to bring a greater harmony, greater justice in my own soul for wounds that have been inflicted upon me? What is it that God may be inviting me to do? That's a great question to ask. Now, next episode, we're going to continue with this topic of anger because I know many of you are wondering, okay, Dr. Sri, you've been hitting about the good side of anger and the good that it can bring out. But we all know that there's ways that we can, you know, fall into sinful anger where our anger comes out lopsided in the wrong way and brings greater harm and greater injustice in this world. Greater fragmentation. St. Thomas Aquinas explains there are three main ways that our anger can lead us astray and cause greater fragmentation. Hurt, harm, division. What are those three ways? That's we're gonna take a look at as an examination next time. But I'm gonna give you a little preview that even when our anger does come out in the wrong way and not healthy way, it's still telling us something important. That even when I've made a mistake. Oh. That I shouldn't have responded that way, or in this scenario, it still has a story to tell. And we're gonna take a look at that as well. So thanks so much for listening, my friends. If you want to learn more about anger or the virtues and vices as a whole, check out my book called the Art of Living the Cardinal Virtues and the Freedom to Love.