Self tanning, Hibachi, and How to Beat the Winter Scaries

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Always Here

Episode: "Self tanning, Hibachi, and How to Beat the Winter Scaries"
Hosts: Abby Howard & Abby Howard (Daylight Media)
Date: January 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode brings together the sister-in-laws Abby Howard & Abby Howard for a heartwarming, humorous, and candid conversation about fresh starts in the new year, personal highs and lows, and practical ideas to beat the "winter scaries." The hosts create a space for deep vulnerability (particularly around grief and motherhood), share relatable self-care hacks (yes, self-tanner is a recurring hero), and explore how connection and community can help us navigate life's hardest and happiest moments. Highlights include the launch of their new book club, their approach to setting boundaries in parenting, how social media shapes perceptions of relationships, and plenty of light-hearted banter about hobbies, hibachi, and making plans to just have fun.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Community & the Book Club Launch

Timestamps: 02:46–04:30

• Exciting Announcement: The hosts enthusiastically launch a communal book club, with the first pick being "My Husband's Wife" (a new suspenseful thriller).
• Both Abbys talk about the excitement and nervousness of creating a shared reading journey with their listeners, emphasizing how community deepens the podcast experience.
• Notable Moment: The birth of a listener nickname—Caleb suggests "Always Homies," sparking a playful debate about what fits their brand.

"We are here to share the hope in the hard with heart and humor... Always here's very own book club." — Abby A (04:05)

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2. Hope & Hard: Sharing Personal Struggles & Joys

Timestamps: 05:18–18:11

• Gratitude for Listeners & Community: Both hosts express profound gratitude for the kindness and connection with their growing audience, sharing stories of meeting listeners in real life (e.g., at Hobby Lobby) and feeling seen.

• Motherhood & Postpartum Realness: Both Abbys talk openly about being overwhelmed—not only the joy of community, but the persistent challenges of postpartum life and adjusting to new family dynamics.

  • Mother of Two Adaptation: B shares, "Some days I feel everything goes really smooth, and then other days, I am literally, like, last week, I locked myself out of the house twice...I feel like outwardly I can show that I'm fine because I don't always express how I'm feeling inside, but I literally feel like I'm drowning sometimes." (08:03)

• Grief & Milestones After Loss: A gives a deeply vulnerable account of living through a second-trimester pregnancy loss, illustrating the split between hope for the future and the pain of watching others reach milestones she’s missed.

  • "I feel like a part of me split at that point... I met our daughter alive and healthy. And then this other part of me is like living in reality where I'm not pregnant and I'm not going to meet our baby." — Abby A (08:48, restated at 00:58)

• Support & Validation: The group holds space for loss while affirming the importance of community in processing grief: "Not everyone is willing to talk about a loss like that. Cuz it's so heavy and it's so hard. And you being able to talk about it and wanting to talk about it is selfless..." (17:21)

• Processing Hard Emotions: Abby A highlights how therapy, honest journaling, and seeing healthy pregnancies around her brings both pain and hope. She stresses that “taking every thought captive” and not judging oneself for dark feelings is critical. (18:17–22:15)

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3. Pop Culture & Healthy Boundaries Online

Timestamps: 23:50–34:11

• "Wow, That's Crazy" Segment: Discussion on the social media dispute involving Haley and Justin Bieber, and a TikToker making bold (and potentially defamatory) statements about their marriage.

• Both express nuanced takes about internet commentary, noting the importance of grace, free will, and discernment (especially in dating and marriage).

  • "When we're dating, we need to be extremely picky about who we choose to marry...those things you see in dating are just going to amplify in marriage." — Abby B (29:32)

  • "There's an aspect of marriage that's beautiful...it's called commitment. I choose to love [my spouse] every day, despite my flaws." — Abby B (31:20)

• Caution is encouraged around consuming negative online advice about relationships, with a reminder: "Let's be careful to make assumptions about other people." — Abby A (34:07)

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4. How to Beat the Winter Scaries

Timestamps: 34:42–54:07

• Defining "Winter Scaries": That post-holiday, mid-winter period that can bring feelings of boredom, restlessness, and seasonal blues.
• Hosts' Top Self-Care and Mood-Boosting Tips:
  1. Take Up a Hobby: Try crafts, games, puzzles, reading, or making sourdough (Mahjong is an aspirational "classy" game they humorously aspire to play). (35:33)
  2. Everything Showers: The joy and power of a full grooming routine ("When I feel ugly, it's usually because my hair is bad...shave your legs!") (39:58)
  3. Self-Tanning: A running joke and genuine wellness boost — both recommend it for an instant mood lift, regardless of how your hands look ("I'm willing to have hives on my neck to feel alive." — Abby B, 43:04)
  4. Purge Your Closet: Ab recommends a bi-seasonal rule to keep things fresh; it’s both healing and fun to declutter and invent outfits with what you keep. (43:40–44:41)
  5. Heated Workouts: Especially valuable in cold climates—sweating hard (think heated yoga) can be a game-changer for getting out of a funk. (45:36)
  6. Solo Mall or Thrift Outings: Wandering and browsing the mall or thrift stores is pitched as a therapeutic solo activity. (46:57)
  7. Acts of Service: Shifting the focus from self to others—care packages, cookies for neighbors, volunteering—can transform mood and perspective. (49:00)
  8. Deep Cleaning: "Making your space peaceful" includes washing sheets, cleaning baseboards, and using the right tools, which can help you feel better about spending so much time indoors. (51:41)
  9. Make Plans: Abby reminisces about coping with childhood slumps by always having something to look forward to—trip planning, even if it’s for the distant future, is key. (54:07)
  10. Trader Joe’s Runs: Trying all the fun new snacks together with friends or loved ones for a culinary refresh. (58:30)

Memorable Quote:

"Cool girls have hobbies." — Abby A (35:33)
"I don't care if it looks good...I don't care if my hands are orange. I don't care if I don't even do my back." — Abby A (41:48)
"Tan, and everything will be better." — Abby B (43:19)

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5. Listener Voicemails & Advice

Timestamps: 62:13–72:45

• On Being Judged as a Parent:

  • Say it with confidence in public ("say it with your chest, question yourself in private" — Abby B, 63:01)
  • Avoid opening doors to unwanted feedback; only ask opinions from sources you trust.

• What Doesn’t Matter Anymore:

  • Grades and high school social status both come up as things that seemed all-important as teens, but have faded in importance. (66:30)
  • Discipline learned from perfectionism is useful, but the stress wasn't always worth it. (68:10)
  • Social circles change after graduation; don't be anxious about the drama (with a caveat that you don't need to drop friends abruptly). (69:34)

• Cozy Meal Recommendations:

  • Crowd-pleasers: Soups, creamy chicken gnocchi, pot roast, lasagna soup, chicken wild rice soup, healthier hamburger helper, beef and broccoli, chicken pot pie, chili (71:15–72:41)
  • The contagious Southern accent of a listener gets a warm shoutout ("when I hear a Southern accent, I just feel like I'm getting a hug." — Abby A, 71:02)

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Memorable & Funny Moments

• Abby’s Blackstone hibachi party confusion, imagining her with the chef hat and "onion train". (56:17)
• The eternal debate about how to say "documentary" and other mispronunciations, much to the group's amusement. (41:05)
• Buying yarn for an elderly woman at Walmart: "She was literally, like, trying to find a way. I'm like, Ma'am, this makes me so happy that you got yarn now. Yarn ain't cheap, by the way." — Abby A (60:44)
• The rapid-fire ideas for family talent shows, girls’ nights, and themed gatherings. (58:11)

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• "I feel like a part of me split at that point. Like a part of me went on to continue like this pregnancy and I met our daughter alive and healthy. And then this other part of me is like living in reality where I'm not pregnant and I'm not going to meet our baby." — Abby A (00:58 & 08:48)
• "Tanning my face single handedly got me through my first three months of postpartum...I'm willing to have hives on my neck to feel alive." — Abby B (41:24, 43:04)
• "Say it with your chest and question yourself in private." — Abby B (63:01)
• "Cool girls have hobbies." — Abby A (35:33)
• "What's going to make you love your life more and your circumstances more?" — Abby A, on content consumption (32:48)
• "You are the person that was chosen to raise your specific kid...no one else is as equipped." — Abby A (65:29)

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Listener Questions Addressed

• Feeling judged on parenting
• What matters less as you grow up?
• Winter meal recommendations

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Recurring Themes and Tone

The episode carries a tone that oscillates between deeply vulnerable (especially around grief and real motherhood struggles) and uplifting, practical, and funny. The hosts maintain radical honesty, self-deprecating humor, and tangible advice, always circling back to the significance of community, connection, and belonging.

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Overall Takeaway

This episode is a lively, real, and reassuring companion for anyone feeling the winter doldrums or navigating big emotional waves. The conversation is equal parts warm hug, motivational talk, and group therapy — with plenty of comic relief and actionable ideas. If you need hope, practical tips, or just want to laugh about self-tanner mishaps and closet purges, these two Abbys are, as always, here.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

I feel like a part of me split at that point. Like a part of me went on to continue like this pregnancy and I met our daughter alive and healthy. And then this other part of me is like living in reality where I'm not pregnant and I'm not going to meet our baby.

[B]

When we're dating, we need to be extremely picky about who we choose to marry. Is this a problem that I'm willing to put up with for the rest of my life in marriage? Tanning my face single handedly got me through my first three months of postpartum. Now listen, I did have allergic reactions.

[A]

Everything comes with a cost.

[B]

I'm willing to have hives on my neck to feel alive.

[A]

This could be my new hobby. Honestly, it's perfect for me. Basically make a little onion train. I was wondering what your advice is on feeling like you're being judged on your parenting.

[B]

Welcome back to Always Here. I'm your host, Abbey Howard.

[A]

And I'm Abbey Howard. Hey, how you doing?

[B]

Good, how you doing?

[A]

I'm good. I feel like someone just sent me through a washing machine and wrung me out and blow dried me like a dog.

[B]

Cause he went to the gym.

[A]

Went to the gym and showered, blow dried my hair, curled it so fast.

[B]

I'm like, you came down with perfect ringlets. I'm like, how in the heck did she have time for that?

[A]

I needed to shake it out.

[B]

They're beautiful.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

But you're stressed.

[A]

No, I just feel like a poodle that just went through something crazy. No, I feel good. A little sore, but I'm happy. It's a good kind of sore.

[B]

Oh, good. I have this, like, random meniscus issue. I don't know if it's that. I'm diagnosing myself with that, so. Can't go to the gym this week.

[A]

Talk to Matt. You know he tore his meniscus.

[B]

Yeah. I think Caleb's got issues too, so they'll be our doctors.

[A]

That's all I need.

[B]

That's all I need.

[A]

What's wrong here?

[B]

Right? We are here to share the hope in the hard with heart and humor.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Yes. And we have actually an exciting announcement to start with, so something really fun and hopeful.

[A]

Yes. We are doing a book club. Oh, baby. Yes. I mean, you know me. This is really exciting for me. I'm thrilled about it. So we're just going to kind of figure this out as a community together. Navigate what this is going to look like, but we'll put a link to it down in the description. Okay. So it's starting in February. February's book is my husband's wife.

[B]

Right.

[A]

None of y' all have read it? Well, maybe you have by the time this episode comes out.

[C]

That'd be a really quick read.

[A]

Some people are on top of it.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, how do you find books? Hmm. Is that, like, a long answer?

[C]

I find books from Abbey Howard.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Really?

[C]

I really always only read the books that you pick.

[A]

That's so nice. So you recommended me a book recently, and I was like, I would not.

[C]

Recommend the book I'm reading. I think it's too sad.

[A]

I don't want that. Well, I just read a really sad book too, and it was okay. But what I'm saying is the book is my husband's. W. I heard about this one because she's a very already popular author, and everyone has their watch list for 2026 new releases. This is a new release. We read Alice Feeney for our personal in person book club last year in the month of January.

[B]

Oh, really? So that was Rock, Paper Scissors.

[A]

Rock, Paper Scissors.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That was a fun one.

[A]

So it's just. I think it's just gonna be like a fun, I'm anticipating suspenseful, thriller vibe mystery. And so if you're in for that, read that book and we'll have some fun prompts in Goodreads and just discuss it together. Should be kind of fun. And it might be motivating if one of your goals for 2026 is to read more books. Then we got your first one picked out for you and it should be a fun ride. So check out that link. This is fun always. Here's very own book club.

[B]

Woo hoo.

[A]

Okay, the hope and the hard. You go first. Cause mine's kind of heavy. Why do I keep dropping in the heavy ones?

[B]

Well, I think that's what hard means.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah. You're like, I'm sore. And I was like, I'm depressed. I'm not, I'm not.

[B]

Oh, that's great.

[A]

I'm not depressed. I sw. Hey, interrupting the podcast really quick to just ask you guys a little small favor. We put this podcast out here for free, so we're just asking for the small payment of a like a review. 5 stars. Subscribe, download the podcast, whatever platform you're on, basically just tell them that you enjoy it and intend to come back. It really, really means so, so much to us. We were really grateful. And here is your five seconds to do that really quick. We'll give you the time. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

[B]

Woo. You did it.

[A]

And it wasn't that hard, it wasn't that painful. So thank you so, so much. Okay, now we'll get back to the episode.

[B]

My hope are similar but different. They are both that I'm overwhelmed, but I'm overwhelmed about different things. My hope is that I have been reading my DMS on Instagram and I've been reading the comments for this podcast and I have been so overwhelmed by the kindness that you guys are all so kind and to one, give us your time on Fridays and lend us your ear. I'm like, what do we have to say that I don't know. Just the people are giving their time is so such a crazy thought to me and I don't take that lightly. And so I just feel so grateful and it's been so fun and I'm excited to like do the book club and do these things to just dive deeper with you guys because I feel like we have like, of, you know, we're broadening and getting to know each other and I'm excited to go deep.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I just feel like overwhelmed with like joy and kindness from you guys. So thank you for all your comments and calling in and doing everything because we literally wouldn't have a podcast without you guys.

[A]

Right? So good. I feel the same way. Seriously. Like, it's just I actually was at Hobby Lobby yesterday and I ran into someone so sweet and her sweet little baby girl shopping at Hobby Lobby and she was like, this. This is great. This right here is great. She's like, I love listening to Always Here and your podcast. I've met the first Always Here listener.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Or at least introduced herself in that way to me. And she was like, I'm just so excited. I love it. And it was. It's just so sweet being able to put faces behind this because it's like, you know, sometimes this feels like, okay, like, this is really fun. And, like, honestly, if anything comes this. It's fun that we just get this time together every week just to hang out and chat. But then beyond that, the fact that there is, like, a very real community behind it, that means so much to me. And I have, like, online communities I'm a part of, too, that just. That's a really special thing. And it's really cool that we get to, like, actually experience that in this day and age where it feels like there's a lot of online chatter. But we can, like you said, go deeper like that, too. So anyway, it's just, like, it's a responsibility that we neither of us take lightly, and we just are so grateful for totally just shouting back what you said, but feel the same way.

[B]

Caleb had a really good suggestion. He said we could come up with a name for our listeners, and he suggested Always Homies.

[A]

And maybe we love Caleb's thought process.

[B]

Maybe we. You guys can leave suggestions in the comments and we all think on what we can call our community. I honestly, like, Always Homies, but.

[A]

I.

[B]

Don'T know if it's on brand.

[A]

No, I think that's really.

[C]

I like it.

[B]

Okay, so maybe we'll. We'll reconvene to this conversation at another time. But think about it.

[A]

I don't know if I could ever say it with a straight face.

[C]

Right. No, you have to do the hand motion. Yeah.

[B]

We do the homie. My hard. Or do you want to do your hope and then we can go.

[A]

Mine are connected, too. So you do both yours.

[B]

Okay. My hard is that I'm also feeling very overwhelmed. And I don't know if this is just a hormone thing or I'm still trying to navigate getting used to being a mother of two, just with all the responsibilities that come with that. But I feel like it comes in waves. Some days I feel everything goes really smooth, and then other days, I am literally, like, last week, I blocked myself out of the house twice. Just a chicken with my head cut off, and I don't feel like I can catch up. And then it's I, like, externally, I feel like a lot of people come up to me and they say, it looks like you're doing great in postpartum. And there are things that I am doing really well in that I would say. But then other times it's like I feel like outwardly I can show that I'm fine because I don't always express how I'm feeling inside, but I literally feel like I'm drowning sometimes and I can't. It's like I need to take my shoulders and just drop them. I've been feeling that a lot this week and maybe the last two weeks. And I don't even know if it's. I wouldn't say it's anxiety because it's not an anxious feeling. And it. I don't even think I'm handling my stress poorly. It's just that I'm feeling a lot of stress, and I don't always feel stress all the time like that. So I don't know if it's just a hormone shift or just outward circumstances or just like, still adjusting, but I sometimes get frustrated myself because I would think, oh, I'm four months postpartum, I should be past this. And. Yeah, I'm still not. Yeah. So that I feel like that's in my heart lately.

[A]

Yeah. Well, like you said, I wouldn't have even known because you handle it so well. But I think. I think every mom's probably felt that, like. And I think it's very honest too, the way you're. Like, sometimes it feels like I don't feel it at all and everything's great, and the next day is like. Like, it's like, how are we even here? I think.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you want advice on that or no?

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Just being a little further with kids. I think the thing that made that overwhelm happen to me the most is when I was trying to combine.

[B]

Like.

[A]

My work with my kids, having, like those firm boundaries really helped me, like, drop my shoulders, lock in on my work hours, lock in on my kid time. And obviously that's not always able to happen like dates happen, but I felt that way significantly less once. And another thing is that a lot of this is just gonna be time. I know you said you're like, I'm four months postpartum. I should feel like. I feel like I should have been past this. Like. No, four months is like a unique, difficult stage too. So it could be a combination of things, but having those boundaries with it really, really helped.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so as much help and also we don't need to feel ashamed for asking for help with people. And I. I have to. I'm telling myself this, too, because sometimes I'm, like, sitting here in my guilt, like, why can't I just do everything right then? If I was a really good mom, I could do every single thing. It's like, actually, that's a lie. That's a lie. We're not. We can't do that.

[B]

I think that is part of why I feel frustrated with myself, too. It's because I do have help, like, kill a pub so much when he's from work. And then my parents literally have. My mom's been coming over every morning and helping, and I'm like, why do I have help? And I still can't get on top of things. And I think that's where I'm feeling like I'm like, wait, what am I supposed to do if I do have help and I'm still behind? But maybe it is. Maybe we should talk after. Just, like, what you did for your schedule to help break up the two. And you can give me some more practicals of that, because it probably is just, like, a managing my time thing, and I'm not. I've never been good at that. And so then it's just heightened.

[A]

Too many tabs. Your brain can't have that many tabs, I think.

[B]

Yeah, my brain just feels like mush. Yeah.

[A]

You're like, ugh, I can't keep it straight. No, that's very honest. Thanks for sharing that.

[B]

Yeah, thanks for advice. I always want advice.

[A]

I was like, well, sometimes, you know, there's a time in place for it. Well, yeah, I just want to get this off my chest. Not what should happen sometimes.

[B]

No, no, no. I want advice.

[A]

My hope and my heart are also the same thing, but I didn't realize. Okay, so my due date was at the end of February, and, like, now that we're at the end of January, everyone that I was pregnant with, like, that whole journey is, like, now getting to meet their babies. And it's like, my hope and my heart, too, because I'm watching them and I genuinely feel so excited. Like, I just feel giddy for them. Like, the fact that they get to take a fresh baby home and, like, introduce the baby to their older siblings. And, like, I am just, like, that is so exciting. And that just makes. It makes me feel so much joy for them. But then also, like, I do have, like, so much joy and faith for my future, too. Like, this is going to. This is going to be Our reality at some point. But at the same time, it's really hard because, like, I think it just, like, it hit me really hard the other night. I just was, like, sobbing to Matt because it's like, you know, I think that ever since. Okay, context. I had a second trimester loss last September, the end of September. And the image that I had in my head that I've kind of shared online and other facets before is, so I was, like, running a marathon with all. Like, I had so many friends that were pregnant at the same time, and it's like we were all running a marathon, and then I just, like, dropped out. Like, I wasn't there anymore. And I think the hard thing I've been grappling with since the loss is, like, I feel like a part of me split at that point. Like, a part of me went on to continue, like, this pregnancy, and I met our daughter alive and healthy and, like, she's growing up, and, like. And so I think this. This part of my life is, like, a small part of me still is using those time markers, and then this other part of me is, like, living in reality, or it's like, I'm not pregnant and I'm not going to meet our baby. Having that dissonance is, like. It's also really hard and complicated and heavy, too. And I anticipated approaching the due date to be really hard. And so I'm, like, not shocked by this, but I still have to live through it and get through it. But I hope that at some point these time markers will stop because it's not serving me. I always want to remember her and honor her life, but I don't want to keep being okay at this point. I would have been this far along my pregnancy, and I just hope that at some point I can be like, okay, at this point, she'd be 2 years old or this would be like, I don't. I don't want to continue that because I don't think that's necessary to, like, honor her life because it also is, like, holding me back in a way, too. But, gosh, got so heavy in that. But, like, as we're getting there, like, more and more of those friends are now meeting their babies. And it's like, it's. It's 100% both, like, hopeful and hard. So, yeah, that's just life, and that's, like, where I'm at. And so, yeah, also, I think a lot of moms also probably know the same feeling, like, it's not uncommon, and, like, I have the capacity to hold both. And so I feel like people, like, I've said this before, like, want to protect me from those things. And I think that's very sensitive and, like, kind and thoughtful. But also I'm like, I. I'm fully. I'm fully strong enough to carry both and hold both. And it's okay. And so. And I can cry about it and I can still, like, it's. It's like I'm okay. So there's that. That's just kind of like. I think that it just is starting to just get to that really difficult season, like, where it felt like it got a little bit easier for a little bit there and then now it's like getting difficult again. But there's hope. So.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like there are going to be a lot of waves.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As it continues.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And as time goes on. Yeah. I never get tired of hearing you talk about it. I never get tired of hearing. Talk about her.

[C]

That's.

[B]

Yeah. I like, I'm grateful when you talk about her because sometimes I want to talk about.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Her in the loss and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, want to see how you're doing, but just hard.

[A]

Yeah. I was, like, talking to the kids about her in the car too, because I'm like. I feel like I The trying to, like, do that the right amount is so confusing. And like today I was, like, able to talk about her in the car with the kids and I wasn't crying, so I wasn't, like, emotional dumping on them. But it felt really good to, like, talk about her and stuff.

[B]

But.

[A]

Yeah. And also with Matt, when I was, like, freaking out, he, like, talked about her too. And I was like, that was sweet. But.

[B]

Yeah. Ugh.

[A]

You know, it's just not something that. It's not something that should be easy to get over. So, like, the fact that it hurts is because it's. It was a hard thing. It was a big loss.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so. Yeah. I just also want to feel like other moms that are, like, experiencing, like, second trimester miscarriage in general.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It is a big loss. And like, if you're grieving hard, it's because it's. It's a really hard thing and it's not supposed to be easy. And so in another way, I'm, like, thankful that it's hard, you know?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So, yeah, that was the heavy.

[B]

That was really good.

[A]

Talk about something like.

[B]

That was really good.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you for sharing that.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Yeah, I know Addie and I both, like, we love you guys so much.

[A]

Thanks.

[B]

Yeah. And we loved baby girl and yeah, we're with you and like the sadness.

[A]

Yeah. Sorry. You're left with a hard part to transition now.

[B]

No, no, I like that. Yeah. I'm trying. I'm like, I just want to see if there anything else came to mind that I wanted to like, ask or talk about with that.

[A]

Oh, yeah, go for it. Yeah.

[C]

Not everyone is willing to talk about a loss like that. Cuz it's so heavy and it's so hard. And you being able to talk about it and wanting to talk about it is selfless in a way because then it allows us to step into it and not be a little nervous to bring up that topic. I feel like you've opened it with open arms to be able to talk about her and remember her and coming into this month knowing that it's going to be a hard one and allowing us into that because we're grieving with you because we loved her so much too. And so knowing that you're opening us to come in and help you and walk with you through that during this hard season is. I appreciate that.

[A]

It's an honor.

[C]

It is an honor. Yeah.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

That's well said. Addie, do you feel like there are things that you're doing that have helped you process those emotions? Or like, when you do see our friends having babies and like, I don't know, is there anything that you've done? You're like, this was really helpful.

[A]

Honestly, I. I feel like the thing about, like, my friends having babies is not. I don't have that personal attachment that I maybe would have even anticipated myself, but certainly, like, what other people anticipate for me, for me, it's just like our. My journey just feels so separate and it just feels like. Does that make sense? Yeah, like, but what really helps is honestly seeing like, healthy pregnancies. Like, I told Matt, I was like, I literally cannot ever imagine getting a big belly, like, and having a baby. I can't. I can't picture having a newborn. Like, I, like, I like, that picture just got ripped out of my head. I've done it twice, like, and I just. But it just felt so impossible. So I imagine if I had had a miscarriage before, having my boys, like, really losing like a picture for what this could look like. And so having really close, like, honestly, sisters of mine, like, walk through that and have such positive experience that is in itself is really healing and it's really positive for me now. I don't. I'm not speaking for everyone. That's Experienced, like, miscarriage or loss because I can also see, like. Because it is also hard. But that in itself is really like, that. I find so much hope in, like, so much redemption. And so I don't know. And also, it's just like, when I was sad and wanted to cry about it, I just did. So I don't think that. And I think that's the other thing. Not judging my own feelings about it, because there's a lot of really, like. There's some really ugly emotions that come up. And I'm like, I just, like. I feel like it's just like, Matt or in therapy, I, like, bring it up. I'm like, this thing I know. And also acknowledging, like, that's not a thought that I want to have. Sure. And, like, we can. That was something that I'm like, I don't think we talk about a lot. Like, you can take your thoughts captive. Like, you can change your thoughts. You can acknowledge a thought that you have and be like, yeah, I thought this. I don't want to think like, this. This isn't healthy. This isn't good. This isn't pleasing. And so, like, whenever I had those, like, first of all, being honest with myself, like, okay, you had this, like, dark, dark, negative, just honestly evil thought. Like, turning that around actively, like, that has been helpful. And I think that can take, like, journaling is helpful, like, to slow it down and to, like, rewrite that. But also, yeah, like, I'm in therapy, and that is, like, honestly a topic a lot of the time that, like, I want to talk about, honestly. Just trying to picture a different. A different outcome, like, while still on, like, thinking of ways to, like, honor this life, like, hold both. I'm kind of rambling at this point.

[B]

No, those are really good.

[A]

It really feels good to see my friends, like, have their babies and, like, that. The last thing I want is for anyone else close to me to walk through this. Like, that is the last thing I want. And so seeing in real life, in real time, this happening and having such a positive outcome in itself is just. I gained so much hope from that.

[B]

Totally. Yeah. It's a visual representation of it. Can. It does. This is not the. The always certainty.

[C]

Right.

[B]

This will not happen every time. Like, there's a possibility that There's a great possibility that, like, we will have healthy babies.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yes. And it's that reminder that this is just. This is not your only reality.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

There's. There's future hope, and, Yeah, I think that's good. Taking every Thought captive. It's hard practice, but yeah, when you do it, voice those, those crazy thoughts and you work through them, process through them.

[A]

Yeah. I felt like I was just like a, a more or less a victim of myself. Like I was like, oh, they're gonna come and like I can't do anything about it. Yeah. But it's like that's not the case.

[B]

That's really good advice.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Yeah. Because it's so easy, I think too, when you think things that are hard or evil, it's easy to sit on them and think, oh, I can't tell anyone this because it's kind of embarrassing that, that I thought that. But sitting on those thoughts doesn't help yourself or anybody. It's best to, to share them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And move through them. That's really good. Thanks. Thanks for sharing that. I think a lot of people are going to be really blessed by that.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you to Miracle Made for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.

[B]

Evie, do you ever wake up sweaty?

[A]

Sure do.

[B]

Freezing.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Oh, same.

[A]

I honestly wake up hot a lot.

[B]

I wake up just drenched in sweat a lot of the times next to.

[A]

A mammal that is making me warm.

[B]

She's radiating heat.

[A]

Radiating heat.

[B]

I'm the radiator. And something that's great about Miracle made sheets is that they are crafted with NASA inspired silver infused fabric that helps regulate your body temperature.

[A]

That's super cool. I've actually never heard of sheets that have silver in them and I didn't quite understand why Miracle Made did that. But it is because of their antibacterial silver technology. Miracle Maid sheets are cleaner and fresher, up to three times longer than regular sheets.

[B]

That's amazing. You think about the oils on your skin, the lotions, the sweat. It's really cool that Miracle Maid has.

[A]

A solution and they feel just as good, if not better than sheets you'd find at a five star hotel. But without the steep price tag. And I personally am one that sheets are, are really worth the investment, in my opinion. Think about how much time you spend in bed, how much use you get out of your sheets. Invest in a good quality set, in my opinion.

[B]

It's not something that I personally buy often, so when I buy it, I wanna make sure that it works. It's comfortable, it looks good and it makes me feel good.

[A]

Upgrade your sleep or give the gift of better rest. Go to trymiracle.com Abbey to try Miracle made sheets today, you'll save over 40%. When you use promo code Abbey, you'll get an extra 20% off plus a free three piece towel set.

[B]

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[A]

Thanks to Miracle made for sponsoring this episode.

[B]

Should we transition to. Whoa, that's crazy.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Wow, that's crazy. Wow, that's crazy. That's crazy.

[B]

Haley and Justin Bieber, have you heard about this?

[A]

I know who they are.

[C]

Okay, perfect.

[B]

Give zero context.

[A]

You heard about this? I've heard about the Biebers.

[B]

They are suing a tick tocker. They sent her a cease and desist for defamation.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Yes. It's gotten pretty nasty. It's very hot topic online these days.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Yeah. So the girl, Jules Thieves is her name. She has her masters in psychology, I believe. And so she has a platform where she talks a lot about. She points out abusive, toxic characteristics that she sees in dating and relationships. And she talks a lot about the tolerant codependent. And she made a video saying that. A tolerant codependent. Now I have a lot of thoughts about. About her content. I don't agree with a lot of it, but she.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

I'm not gonna get into that yet.

[A]

I'm glad that we're getting the context because right now I want to say some things.

[B]

I'm like, yes, we need to get the lot of context. And she has videos where she says that she believes most women in long term marriages are tolerant codependents and get the short end of the stick. She said in her video most. She says most. This is in a different video I watched.

[C]

Well, she said most long term relationships that we romanticize and congratulate only work because the woman is tolerant and codependent.

[B]

And what she means by that is tolerates mediocrity abuse, doing the majority of domestic and emotional labor in exchange for being in a relationship. And then she said there's no better example than Hailey Bieber and Justin Bieber, who she claimed because he is an addict, he an addict means you're an abuser. So she said a lot of things in that video that were pretty bold claims. And this is where it gets a little sticky is Haley Bieber accidentally reposted the video. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's a shocker one. It's a shock. And so then she went online. Kaylee was like, I never posted the video. I never posted the video. But there's a. There is.

[A]

So people are maybe seeing that as like A plea for help.

[B]

I don't. I think people are just like, she kind of then was saying that she didn't, and people have a lot of proof that she did. There are a lot of screenshots of saying, like, Haley, people reposted, which I will say on Tick Tock. It's so easy to accidentally repost those things.

[C]

So easy.

[B]

Yeah. But now she's. She's standing firm in that she didn't repost it. And then it's kind of like, well, there's a lot of pictures of that you did. So I think it's just interesting that she saw it and then she sent the cease and desist letter to this girl for defamation. Her mission, and she said this a lot on her page, because I went through her videos, is that she wants to educate women and have them get. Help them get out of toxic and abusive relationships. And this is her viewpoint. She. She does say a lot that she kind of built herself up from the ground up. She had a very hard past.

[C]

Past.

[B]

She's been in abusive relationships in the past. So this is her. That's her viewpoint, is that this is really common. It's like toxic and abusive, hard marriages and relationships. So knowing that that's her viewpoint, it's like, okay, you've been in these situations. You obviously want to help women get out, but I am like, girl, absolutely, what you said is defamation.

[C]

And so I'll have you watch the video so then you can kind of.

[A]

Have a little more clothes. Okay, let me start by saying I would be amazed if the Biebers won this case just because I know that the standard, if you are considered a public figure, the standard for defamation, because, you know, we have, we have free speech. You're allowed to talk about people, but if you're a public figure, you're allowed to talk about them in a different way than say, like, someone that hasn't chosen to be public facing. Like, you can talk that you can actually pretty much say just about anything, even if you can prove that what they said was completely false. I'm saying this from a little bit of personal experience, potentially. Even if you can literally prove that that is false. Say, for instance, I got an example for you. Say someone was like, this video they made this amount of money on. Like, well, that's pretty clearly a black and white fact. We can prove that in court. We did not. That's not true. Doesn't matter. It actually doesn't matter at all if you can like, literally go and even show receipts of like, this is Actually an downright lie. It does not matter. So I. I doubt that they win this. But honestly, I think that it's. I think that they're winning in a way by trying to fight it. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, I was going to ask about that because when is the line of when do you feel like you stand up to someone that is maybe bullying or like being mean? And when do you not, like, what is the line? Because I feel like I always take the angle of just don't acknowledge the hate. But because she did accidentally repost it, I feel like she did have to acknowledge it. So I don't know, what is your thoughts on like, addressing some of this stuff? You think that's a win?

[A]

I think them choosing to do that is very like, I admire that.

[B]

Yeah, I think it's brave.

[A]

I think it's brave and I think it's. I mean, I'm not speaking on there, really. I don't actually know anything about their marriage. I would say that that tick tocker also does not.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know anything about their marriage either.

[A]

And everyone that she's. All the couples that she is mentioning, she does not actually know. Even if someone has like, shared so much about their marriage, you still have to know. Like, we have to have this grounding, like, feet on the ground. We actually don't know their marriage. Me and you, we spend a lot of time talking about our marriage intimately. We live very close. We spend a lot of time together. I'm around you and your husband a lot. I still have to acknowledge there's. I don't know what it's like in your household.

[B]

Totally same. I do think it poses an interesting topic, and this is something that I feel pretty passionately about, is that when as women and as mental, we have free will and when we're dating, we need to be extremely picky about who we choose to marry. Yeah, you are yoking your life with somebody and nobody is a perfect person. I think also, like, a lot of her commentary lacks grace and like her saying that only the husband is flawed and like, not the wife. Like, we're both. Caleb and I are both extremely flawed people. And we choose to be forgiving. We choose to be encouraging. And of course there's going to be compromise in a marriage now. There's not compromise of values, boundaries, respect. But they're obviously like, Caleb hates when I'm late and it makes him really upset. And so every week when I'm late for church, he says, hey, I'm that hurt. Like I'm upset that we're late and he brings it forward and we talk about it. But, like, I just. I feel like when we're dating and we're choosing to marry, we have to be very picky because the things that you see in marriage and. Or in dating and the red flags that you see or even, like, the little things that you see are just going to amplify in marriage. So you have to decide, is this a problem that I'm willing to put up with for the rest of my life in marriage? Caleb knew when we were dating that I was extremely unorganized, that I was bad at time management. It's gotten way worse as we've gotten married. Was he okay with picking that problem? Yes. And, you know, vice versa. He has things. So it's like, I. That's always my, like, cry to young women and young adult women when you're in the dating phase. It's like, I do believe that, like, there are very unhealthy marriages. There are bad people and all these things, you know? And so my warning is, like, when we have the chance, don't ignore the red flags. I don't know. That's always my, like, cry.

[A]

I think that's a really good. That's. That's a really good call out.

[B]

When she just kind of throws these words around, and I'm like, there is an aspect of marriage that's beautiful, and it's called commitment. And it's really important. I choose to love Kilp every day. He chooses to love me every day, and he is choosing to commit to me despite. Despite my flaws. And that's really important. And that's. That gives a lot of safety. And it's like, I can be myself. I can express the hard parts of my life to him, and he knows the darkest parts of me, and he still chooses to love me. That is marriage. That is beautiful, that's grace. And so I'm not going to, like, hold those things above him. He doesn't hold those things over my head, and vice versa. And I think sometimes when we hear these things online, people are really quick to be like, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out. And it's like, well, there's an aspect of, when you're married, you're committed, and you can't just run at the first sign of, like, one hard thing. I don't know. That's my viewpoint.

[A]

Yeah. I do think that the call to be careful about what you consume is also a really good call out because, like, even just, like, seeing a couple of those videos, it's like, oh, that just makes me, like. I feel like a part of me is, like, angry.

[B]

Oh, is that angry?

[A]

Like, is that, like, what's wrong? Let me find out what's wrong with what we're doing. Like, in what ways is she right about, like, this? And it's like, that plant seeds. Yeah. And that's not actually something that is based in truth. And also, just not even. It's not. It's not serving any part. Like, I don't know. I. I would just say, yeah. What's gonna make you, like, fall more in love with your husband? What's gonna make you love your life more and your circumstances more?

[B]

I'm sure there are people who I.

[A]

Don'T know also about his drug situation that does kind of, like, change it for me as well. But she did say as a fact that he is an addict.

[C]

She said it as a fact that he is an addict and that all addicts are abusive partners. She said an addictive partner is always an abusive partner. I could see how.

[B]

I don't actually disagree.

[C]

No, I don't necessarily disagree, but calling him an addict without proof that he is an addict.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, an addiction is very serious, and it affects everyone in your house. So that's not even like. I agree, Eddie. Yeah. But it's. He has admitted to being an addict in the past, but to say now that he currently is is a bold claim.

[C]

What I think is interesting from that video and then we can move forward, is she really only touched on them at the very beginning to kind of get the clicks. And then she actually spoke more on the Ozzy Osbourne and Sherry Osbourne and Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell. Like, she talked about them.

[A]

That's where they got me.

[C]

I liked her, actually.

[A]

Let me just say, there is a culture that is just going to always despise marriage, and they're always going to despise a couple that is thriving and loves each other and, like, is normal. Like, have normal marriage problems. Like, they're just going to. They're just going to despise that, and it's just not gonna be me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let's be careful to make assumptions about other people.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And also, I think it would be very honorable if you built a platform, but you were the main character. I think that would just be a really honorable thing to do.

[B]

Yeah. What did Jordan and Danny Austin. They call them the Talking head on TikTok.

[A]

Talking heads.

[B]

Talking heads. Well, we're talking about Healthy marriages, obviously. So let's move on to. I'm trying to segue our healthiest year yet. Healthy slash healthy habit slash how we beat the winter scaries.

[A]

Okay. Yes. You guys were telling me about the winter scaries. I've experienced them every year of my life. I never really quite had the vocabulary for this.

[B]

They're called. Yeah, I love that. This is something I love about Gen Z. They have the catchiest names for things. The winter scaries. Yes. That's a good term. You know, it's when the holidays die down, it's late into deep winter. You're feeling maybe ugly, you're feeling bored, you're stir crazy in the house. You just need to feel refreshed. Yeah. So we thought it'd be fun to write down our tips or things that we do to try to remove ourselves from the winter scaries.

[A]

Or maybe I need to put some.

[B]

Of these in I as well. I was like, thinking through this. I'm like, this is a great idea. Have I actually done this? The answer is I have. But not all on the same day.

[A]

It's inspo time.

[B]

Okay. Do you want to start with your first one?

[A]

My first one is hobbies. Cool girls have hobbies.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. And I. I really want to have some more hobbies going on. I really admire people that have niche hobbies. But I also think that this is like, a really fun thing to do because a lot of hobbies just. You can do inside your house if you're stuck inside. But like, I mean, heck, I've been seeing people crocheting and embroidering. That's a crafty hobby.

[B]

So cute.

[A]

We could. I'm myself, I'm making sourdough. I'm considering that a hobby.

[B]

I love eating your sourdough. That's my hobby.

[A]

It's so fun.

[C]

Bring some pretzel bites back, please.

[B]

Bring the pretzel bites back.

[A]

But you guys weren't here. Actually, I will make some more. But yeah, Sourdough hobby. I'm talking like, Okay, I actually thought about this one. Mahjong.

[B]

Oh, my brother's mahong.

[A]

My instinct is that we're not. I'm not. I'm gonna talk about myself. My instinct is I'm not classy enough to play mahjong.

[B]

I watch mahjong lives on Tick tock. What is it?

[C]

It's like a. It's a game you play with tile pieces.

[B]

Yeah. To be honest, I don't know, because I actually have mahjong apps on My phone that I play and I feel like Mahjong is the tiles. And then there are different games you can play within the tiles. Oh, okay. But I think there might be like a Mahjong gang. A game.

[A]

Probably is a game.

[B]

Yeah. Probably like an actual game itself. But then you can use those tiles to do other things.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I don't actually know is what I'm saying.

[A]

Well, I was like, maybe one day when I'm classy, I will do that one. But other games, we can call that a hobby.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I just think that, I don't know, something fun to do. That's like, it's kind of silly. It's not necessary. We're just doing it because we enjoy it and we can do it inside. We can look forward to that. I don't know. I need more hobbies.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Does reading count as a hobby?

[A]

Yes. I was actually gonna say that was one of my hobbies. That for sure counts. Heck, coloring, painting. I was gonna make an at home date where they have like how to draw like Disney characters on YouTube. And I was like, I think that would be fun if Matt and I pulled up a YouTube video and we both like how to draw and show each other. I just know that is Matt's personal. Like he's so down to do anything. But I just know that. And he would do it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I just know that he wouldn't really.

[B]

It wouldn't be fun for him.

[A]

Yeah. Because I took him to a painting date one time and he like always talks about it. He's like, that was for you. I love that.

[B]

Caleb's low key, good at art, and when he was in art class in high school, he did a portrait of Carrie Underwood. And we had that portrait for a couple years. And I was like, can we leave Carrie Underwood in the Carrie Underwood? Why are we bringing her from apartment to apartment?

[A]

I'm so proud of that.

[C]

What do you think of puzzles?

[A]

Puzzles, hobby.

[C]

I've never seen you do a puzzle.

[A]

I haven't done that many because I think I would lose like one piece and I'd be so mad.

[B]

Yeah, you need a dedicated piece.

[A]

But I really do want to do puzzles when I don't have toddlers running around and like a dog that would eat it. I think that's a great example of a good one. You could do that. You have a baby, you could puzzle.

[C]

I have two big dogs that knock it over.

[A]

Yeah, it's hard when you true comment down below. Hobby ideas. And if I should get into embroidery because I've been thinking about it and I honestly think I'd have a lot of fun. But I also pose an issue.

[B]

No, you have a machine. Unless you're talking about like needlepoint embroidery.

[A]

Yeah, needlepoint.

[B]

Oh, you want to do needlepoint?

[A]

I don't know. Because I do want to keep my hands busy. Like I want to do something. I mean, paint by number. I'll do that.

[B]

Maybe that's our next. Instead of book club, we started needlepoint cloth.

[A]

I like Matt always tells me, he's like, what, when you're older you're gonna knit? I'm like, you're so right. Of course I'm going to.

[B]

I used to be obsessed with finger weaving as a kid.

[C]

Oh my gosh. I made a scarf one time I.

[B]

Was on an airplane and the stewardess was finger weaving and I was. That just brought me back.

[A]

You're like, yes, yes. So comment down. Niche hobbies we can do. Not even niche.

[C]

Those are niche, I would say. I was gonna say I don't ever want to get into sewing or doing anything.

[B]

Oh, I love sewing in that area.

[C]

Needle knitting. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It doesn't pique my interest, but it could.

[B]

You'll find other good ones. You'll find other good hobbies.

[A]

I'm gonna get into it.

[C]

I would have to do it and watch something. Like I. I want to do something where I don't have to watch like reading because then I'm not watching something my brain doesn't. Needs. Needs additional quiet.

[A]

Your guys house always has the TV on. Always it's.

[C]

And what is it always on?

[B]

Sports. Yeah, that's on. My house was growing up. Okay. My first one is an everything shower often.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Everything shower often. Because when you're inside, the last thing you want to be is inside and have bad hair. You know what I mean? When I feel ugly, it's usually because my hair is bad.

[A]

And shave your legs.

[B]

Shaving my legs.

[A]

You're going to wear pants.

[B]

Shaving my mustache. Shaving my armpits and painting my toenails. Just doing all the, like the grooming things that it's so easy to put off in the winter when I'm inside. And in the winter. Yeah. And it's like, okay, if I feel bad on myself, if I wash my hair more often and I can style it, I feel a little bit better.

[A]

That's a good one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The hair does make a difference and I always neglect it.

[B]

Today is the first day I blue dry my hair in maybe two months.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It looks amazing.

[B]

Thank You.

[C]

I was gonna say your hair looks really good.

[B]

Thank you. I think it's because I blew dry it.

[A]

Is that what it is? Blue dry it.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

I blew it.

[C]

That's something. With Abby, you're not gonna get away saying something wrong.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Or with Blake, what did I say yesterday? I mean, I knew capacity. I say capacity. It's capacity. Yeah. I say capacity every time and Blake calls me out and I get mad every time.

[B]

My mom always says documentary and honestly, I don't blame her for it. It's not like, okay, what's your second one?

[A]

Okay, well, I think we can share in this one. This is also piggybacking off every time.

[B]

Tan, tan, tan, tan, Tan your face.

[A]

I'm telling you, when I am feeling like there's just a certain feeling that will arise in the depths of my stomach and. And I'm like, what's wrong? Everything feels wrong. And then I'm like, wait, I'm just so pale. And then I tan. And here's my thing about self tan. I don't care if it looks good. No, I don't care if it looks natural.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

I don't care if my hands are orange. I don't care if I don't even do my back. Actually, I was tanning the other day and Matt goes, Matt goes. Do you want me to do the back? And I was like, no, I don't see it. It's none of my business.

[B]

The back of my head is none of my business.

[A]

The back of my. My whole backside.

[B]

My whole back ain't none of my business.

[A]

It's not for me. And it doesn't matter. That's the thing. This is such bad advice. But I mean, I think it's good advice. Doesn't matter if it looks good. No, you will feel so much better.

[B]

Because you know what, you go, I'm alive.

[A]

I just feel like so. And also when I'm self tan, I feel like I already just have like a jump start of my day because it already looks like I have a little bit of makeup on.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Like, I just, I feel like I want to show my legs. I want those to be seen. I'm going to wear shorts. I'm going to. Even if it's cold. Like, it's just something about it. It's. It's one of those external things that just like seeps into your skin, into your psyche for sure. It gets in my head and I'm like, I'm amazing. Today is great.

[B]

Tanning my face single handedly got me through my first three months of postpartum. Now, listen, I did have allergic reactions every time I used it, and I still used it.

[A]

Everything comes with a cost.

[B]

Everything comes at a cost. And I was like, that's a cost. I'm willing to have. I'm willing to have hives on my neck to feel alive.

[A]

I respect that.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I respect that.

[B]

Beauty is pain.

[A]

You just have to know. I mean, here's the thing. It's not for everybody, but if you haven't tried it and you just start feeling like everything is just a little bit bad. Oh, Then tan and everything will be better.

[B]

Oh. It's a quick turnaround.

[A]

It's a quick turnaround.

[B]

It's an instant boost. Instant.

[A]

Honestly, it doesn't. I don't even have to rinse it off before I'm already like, no.

[B]

I use those Isle of Paradise drops in the face lotion. You don't even have to rinse anything. It just lets you in your moisturizer. Put it on, you're good to go. Okay, my second one. This is an activity purging my closet.

[A]

That's a great one.

[B]

That is a really. It makes me feel light, it makes me feel fresh, and it gives me a little piece of excitement because now I get to fill it with things I actually need and are fun and serve me better. So when I am like, okay, I'm bored in the house. What am I gonna do? I'm feeling in a slump. I start purging.

[A]

That's a good one.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Get rid of the stuff that you're like, if I didn't wear it in the past year, it's gone.

[B]

I have a rule. I give myself two. Two consecutive seasons. So if I don't wear something for two consecutive winters, then I donate it. If I don't wear something two consecutive summers. Because sometimes there's just.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Maybe there's just an occasion.

[A]

Or maybe you were pregnant.

[B]

Yeah, maybe I've been pregnant in postpartum. So it just didn't fit. So there are different. I give myself two seasons, and if I didn't touch it, I donate it. And it just feels really like you're clearing your mental space. It just is very healing.

[A]

I need to do that.

[B]

I know. It's such a good feeling, and it's honestly fun once you get in there and you can start trying things on, and then you start having fun in your closet. And that is such a hobby of mine. I love going in and making new outfits with the clothes that I already Have. And it just is. It's honestly a dream day.

[A]

That's good. That's good. That'll make you feel refreshed.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I don't really actually have anything to add on to that. I love that one. I need to do it. Personally.

[B]

I'm getting to the point where I'm ready for my next Purge.

[A]

Needs to happen for me.

[B]

Want me to come help you?

[A]

Yeah, we'll do each other.

[B]

That'd be fun.

[A]

I need to go because I, like, literally just grab what's on the top every time. And I'm like, well, I like it and I wear it a lot, but I'm like, I'm not really making use of. Right. Because I'm like, I don't fit in that right now. Or I don't fit in that. And I'm like, let's just get rid of it then.

[B]

I know.

[C]

Let's just.

[A]

Gone.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Okay. This one is really applicable to me personally, when I lived in a colder climate. Now, I have to say, we are coming from a place of privilege right now.

[B]

We actually live in Arizona, having glorious time. Right now.

[A]

It's very sunny here every day. It's actually still pretty warm when you, like, if you are in the direct sunlight.

[B]

Yeah, it's like 75, 80.

[A]

You could get warm.

[B]

It's important. It's amazing.

[A]

It's great. But this really applied to me when I was living in Missouri. Go to a heated workout, because you probably haven't sweat in a minute. Like, sweat a lot. And something about sweating a lot. If you go to, like, a heated yoga, you will. It's like a lizard shedding their outer skin.

[B]

Oh, you're so right.

[A]

Like, it is just like, oh, I just need to just sweat a ton. And you're just kind of, like, jogged back into place.

[B]

And you just need to be really hot.

[A]

And also, you need to be really hot. And so we could still do it here. I feel like it could still work, but it really, really hits the spot if you're in, like, a cold climate.

[B]

There was. And then when you walk out and you're soaking wet and you hit that cold, it just. Oh, the electricity that goes through your bones. It's like, I just had really hot. I'm soaking wet, and now I'm frigid. Oh, that's like a cold plunge.

[A]

Cold plunge sauna combo.

[B]

Exactly. That will get your circulation moving.

[A]

That will send a shark. Shark. That will send a shock through your brain waves.

[B]

It will actually restart your heart.

[A]

You will die, and then it'll Come back to life. No, but I do think that it is a good thing to kind of, you know, kick you out of some type of funk. And also, in general, this could also just work. If you go do, like, a really hard workout. Totally. Just get a lot of sweat out, release some endorphins, release all the. I don't know. I'm thinking about all the things from the holidays.

[B]

Just get it out, get it out. You'll feel great. Okay. I feel like my number three kind of piggybacks off of my number two of purging the closet. Pick a day, and I'm gonna go to the mall by myself. I'm either gonna go to the mall or I'm gonna go thrifting alone. And I'm just gonna meander. I'm gonna look at all the beautiful things, and maybe I won't buy anything but that alone time. Slowly carousing the aisles, looking at things, getting. Feeling inspired. Getting out of the house, but still inside. Oh, it rejuvenates me. I love going to the mall by myself with no time limit. Just perusing. You don't agree? You don't like going alone?

[A]

I don't like going alone. I actually really don't like going to the mall. Oh.

[B]

It's honestly, it's been revived in me in the last two years.

[A]

Fashion in you. You like that? I just remember I was like, creativity from that.

[B]

I do. Yeah. When I was a kid, I remember I would have. I would wake up and I'd be like, I have to go to the mall today. Like, I would just have this feeling in my bones. I just am dying. And the only thing that'll make me feel good and is if I go to the mall and I wouldn't buy anything. I would just walk around. I had, like, $12 to my name. I'd be in eighth grade, and I begged my mom to take me to the mall, and I would just look at all the pretty things, and it was just so inspiring and fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's just, get out of the house. You're walking, you're moving.

[A]

That's where you got it. You just got to get out of your house.

[B]

You got to get out of the house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In the mall or go. Thrifting is such a fun.

[A]

That's a good idea.

[B]

Yeah. I think thrifting is a hobby of mine.

[A]

Yeah, that's fun. That's a good one. Yes, I do like to go shopping, but sometimes I'm like, I don't know if that would.

[C]

Yeah, sometimes shopping drains Me. It does not drive me life. My mom knows this too. She's like, okay, how many minutes do you have until you're like, I'm done. I'm like, okay, I have two stores and a snack break and I have to get lunch. Yeah, you have to.

[B]

You have to have lunch.

[A]

It'd be really fun if I went shopping, like, with you guys. Like, that would be really fun.

[C]

You guys would be great. Because I don't have fashion at all. Not. It's nowhere in my bones.

[A]

Really cute.

[C]

Not a single ounce.

[B]

We'll go.

[A]

So fun. I love shopping with you guys. That's a good one. Okay. This is a big title for it, but I promise there's like a purpose for it. I called it this one service. Okay? So I think sometimes when I'm in a little bit of a funk, I'm like, abby, all you done is sat here and thought about yourself. Oh, you're just sitting here thinking about everything, everything about yourself. And it's pretty incredible how just, you know, shifting that mindset to, okay, let me think about other people in my life. Now. This can be like your friend, your mom, your sister, or you could even do bigger and think of like, you know, if you want to go and like, do service at a, like, non profit organization, like charity, something like that. I think both have a place here. But, like, even if you're just like, you know, my friend is in the hospital and they're like, I can't go visit them right now, but it'd be really fun if I just, like, sent them a care package and like, spending that time to do something like a little creative and a little thoughtful for someone else. It's kind of just like you kind of get out of your own little pity party. Like, this pity party is not doing anything for me. It's just getting me deeper in this hole. But, like, thinking about someone else and like, what you can do, and also you can have fun with it. And you're not doing it for yourself because you're. You're genuinely doing this as a gift for somebody else. Your time, whatever you're giving them, like, it is for the other person. But in turn, it's like a little cycle here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're also reminded, okay, this world, there's more people in it than me. I can think bigger than myself and my own, like, small problems or this, like, little funk I'm in. I feel like that's also a really good thing to just kind of like, yes, redirect those thoughts.

[B]

Yes, that's A good one, Abby. Thanks. Really good one.

[A]

Well, I think it's really fun, too. Like, we were like, oh, like, I'm putting together a care package for someone, and I'm like, that is so fun. Like, I'm, like, genuinely looking forward to, like, thinking about the things that I'm gonna put in there. And, like. Yeah. And so I'm like, that's actually just, like, a really fun thing to do. And also, you don't even feel like spending money on something like that. You're kind of just like, it's for someone else. It's so. It's so much easier to do.

[B]

Yeah, totally.

[A]

I probably wouldn't buy, like, these fun things and, like, go ham on a random day for myself, but it's really fun to do it for somebody else.

[B]

Totally. I like making cookies and bringing them to the neighbors.

[A]

Yeah, you're good about that.

[B]

It's just. It's so easy and it's fun and. Yeah. It just helps you get out, and then you go talk to your neighbors and you see how they're doing, and you check in, and it's just, like, an easy way to get past. You're right. Yourself. Yeah, I love that one.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Great one.

[A]

Abs.

[B]

I feel like now mine are kind of dumb. I feel like I was thinking through what are my winter scaries? My personal self. So, like, the shower, and then I'm like, okay. I want my body to feel good. I want my home to feel good. And then I want to like my environment to feel good. So that's great. I'm deep cleaning my house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I am washing the sheets. I'm washing the pillows. I'm washing the blankets on the couch. I'm scrubbing the baseboards. I am, you know, anything that needs to be deep clean.

[A]

Getting the grout, too.

[B]

No, not that one.

[A]

Okay. I was gonna ask. Oh. First of all, I don't clean my baseboards.

[B]

I actually never.

[A]

Someone was telling me. They were, like, talking about baseboards. I was like, did you look at. I'm like, don't look at mine. Ever. Look at my baseboards.

[B]

Well, I've actually looked at yours, and yours are clean.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Good. Yes. The house is new enough that it hasn't collected. No. But here's my other question. What? We were just talking about this. I was talking about this with another group of people. How often do you wash your sheets?

[B]

A weekly.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, me too.

[B]

Yes. Well, it didn't used to be that way. When I was in college, I was a little, nasty little piggy. I maybe washed my teeth twice a semester, but I also didn't know that I was like, oh, supposed to clean those.

[C]

Me too.

[B]

I actually never cleaned. I maybe cleaned my apartment once a semester.

[A]

Okay, you're really clean.

[B]

Now I know. You know why? I wasn't really that clean when we lived in our apartments, even when we were married. Caleb likes things tidy because he's type A. So I learned how to, like, pick up my stuff and not be such a slob. But when we bought our house was when I actually learned how to clean because I felt ownership for the first time over my space, and I wanted it to feel clean. And now I enjoy it. I used to hate it. Also, getting the right tools to clean your house makes a big difference. Like, getting a good vacuum actually doesn't.

[A]

Make vacuum steam things.

[B]

Have you seen those, like, the spin brushes or, like, the steam things that goes across the. The corners of your house and stuff?

[A]

Yeah. You just put water in it, but it's hot, so it sanitizes.

[B]

I want to get one of those, too. And I want to get the spin brush.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

Isn't that fun?

[A]

Yeah. What do you even use that for? Like your shower? The corners.

[B]

That's. Let me be honest. I have a very clean house. Don't go in my shower.

[A]

You're going in there to get clean.

[C]

Yeah, I don't clean like that. I do the tidying. Blake does the cleaning. Yeah, he just has. I don't. Doesn't bother me. It should.

[B]

It didn't bother me until I had a house that I owned. Because I feel like when it's like, oh, this is my own money. I want this to be nice. It feels different than when I was renting. I was like, whatever.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's great advice, though, because, like, in the winter, you're spending a lot of time in inside. It's like, let's make this a peaceful environment, a place of peace. Yeah, that's a good one.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I need to do that. Okay. This is my last moment, which also, I'm like, abby, you say this all the time. We're sick of hearing it. Make plans. I'm sorry. This is the only way I knew how to cope as a child. So I would get really in a slump. I shouldn't say. This is the one. My parents, they're amazing. They gave me a lot of skills, but this was, like, the main go to. And it's, like, so ingrained in me. So, like, I would get so, so down after. I, like, I was A theater kid. So if a show ended, I was used to every day, for hours, going after straight after school for rehearsals and then spending time with those same people every single day. And, like, I loved everything about it. And so when it would end, I was just, like, shocked to just, like, go home after school, and I was in such a slump. So my mom's like, we gotta just think of, like, we have to get a plan. Like, so before the show would even end, she would make sure we had a plan for something to look forward to in the future. So this is a great opportunity. Let's make some plans. Let's look ahead. Okay, maybe we can't do this right now, but let's get something on the calendar for when springtime comes. Let's do this. Let's peruse travel destinations. Maybe we're not gonna go there, but let's consider it. Like we said, look at Airbnb. Look at. Wouldn't it be fun if we went to X, Y and Z? Let's just get some stuff on the calendar, even if it's small. But just. Let's just. Let's just keep moving forward. Let's look to the future. Let's just get. Get something to be excited about down the line. And I feel like it makes those, like, seasons that feel a little slower. It's like, it's not forever. Yeah. All these things coming up to look forward to. That's exciting.

[B]

So true. It's like that excitement, you gotta. You gotta reignite the buzz.

[A]

Yeah. And I wanna be excited. Like, I want the anticipation.

[B]

It's so good. And planning something, too, like, that is fun. Like, planning a trip is so exciting.

[A]

Exciting.

[C]

That's what I like about you, Abby. It's like, we should make this plan. You're like, okay, let's do it right now. We talked about taking a trip to Flagstaff. She's like, okay, here's the Airbnb. Everyone down. Let's book it.

[A]

No one wanted to get it. They're like, I don't even know what you're talking about. I'm like, we just talked about it.

[C]

We booked it.

[A]

We did book it. We.

[B]

Can we talk about your hiba?

[C]

Abby?

[A]

You can talk about it.

[C]

Abby.

[B]

I came in the other day, and she goes, I'm planning a hibachi night. And I go, that's. That's so fun. Do you want me to bring our Blackstone? Abby goes, what? And in my head, I pictured you behind a Blackstone grill cooking up a mochi for everybody with the hat going like, doing the thing.

[A]

And honestly, I told her. I was like, first of all, she said, I just started wheezing. When you said, we can bring. I can bring my blacks, I was like, I really thought that's.

[C]

That's, like, the confusion I had when Abby asked if we wanted to have. If you didn't care if we had the shower together. And I'm like, I don't. I like to shower by myself.

[A]

This is what Abby sent me. I made it on chat GPT. This could be my new hobby. And honestly, it's perfect for me. A little entertainment aspect, a little cookie lunch. Make a little onion train. Get the little boy peeing to take it off.

[B]

Yes. It's so fun. And you go catch it in your mouth.

[C]

Just shoot a little soy sauce into the mouth, literally.

[A]

Is it offensive if I do it?

[B]

I don't know. I don't ask the people.

[A]

But, people, we have to get you.

[C]

Behind the Blackstone at the moment, I.

[B]

Think if you acknowledge it, it's cultural appropriation. That's all we need, just acknowledgement. But it'd be so fun.

[A]

I think that would be a blast.

[B]

I really thought you were planning a themed night where you were going to do that.

[A]

I love that you thought that, like, Abby's just going to do good. Well, that'll be fun. That alone. I'm so excited that I have plans for that.

[B]

Me too. I'm. I'm really looking forward to it now.

[C]

I'm very looking forward to it.

[A]

I've had so many people be like, I'm so excited for the Hibachi night. Well, also, I had a couple friends that were really confused. They're like, what's the. Like, is it someone's birthday? What's the occasion? I was like, ah, it's Valentine's Day Fun. Bring your spouse.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Like, yeah.

[B]

So such a fun.

[A]

We should have a talent show.

[B]

We should actually have a talent show. We can harmonize.

[C]

Wait. We should have a family night that it's just everyone. It's a talent show family night.

[B]

That'd be fun.

[C]

Sadie Robertson's family does that. And I think that for, like, Christmas at Christmas time, I think they do a talent show or something like that.

[B]

That's fun. We should save these ideas for our girls night episode.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Ooh, little teaser. Okay. My last one. This is. This is. I'm gonna go to Trader Joe's, and I'm gonna buy all the fun snacks.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm getting all the fun new things. I'm getting A bunch of desserts, and I'm gonna fill my kitchen with just new and exciting culinary treats.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. That gives me a zest for life.

[B]

That gives me a zest that gives me out of a funk. I'm gonna make a new dinner. I'm gonna look up recipes on Tick Tock and we're gonna go to Trader Joe's and just have ourselves a time that's fun.

[C]

We're gonna do that as a date night before we go. Yeah, you go, you get an appetizer, you get the meal, you get the dessert. Perfect.

[B]

So fun, so fun.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. That inspires me.

[C]

And then they ask you, they're like, you have any plans for tonight? You're like, this was our day sign.

[B]

And they're like, the grocery store.

[C]

I'm like, yeah, I'm so excited about it.

[A]

I always have a chatty time at Trader Joe's.

[B]

Do you like that? I like when my cashier chats with me. Some people hate that. Oh, I hear people like, that's my worst nightmare. When the cashier talks to me. I'm like, please, maybe please break the silence.

[A]

Maybe they're in a social job. Maybe not like home with toddlers a lot. Maybe you're like, like, you're like, I want English and like adult.

[B]

Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Walmart? I was really pregnant and the cashier was like 7 o' clock at night. I was buying a carton of ice cream, that's all I bought. And the guy looked at me and he goes, you got any fun plans tonight? I go, I'm just gonna go home and eat my ice cream with my husband. He goes, and make a baby. And I go, maybe have a baby. What?

[A]

I remember you telling that story.

[B]

I honestly was like, so taken aback. I think he had word vomit. I don't think that's what he meant to say. But that, that one was awkward.

[C]

That's an awkward one.

[B]

And they started telling about his investments and I said, sir, that actually sounds like a bad one.

[A]

Did you say that?

[B]

No.

[A]

That is so funny. Yeah, I've had good, I have had really good conversations with people in the line at Walmart. In fact, actually one time I had a really great conversation with this like 80 year old woman who was buying a lot of yarn. So she was in her hobby era.

[B]

Cute.

[A]

We love her and I feel inspired by her. She bought so much yarn, but none of her credit cards were working. We had already, like, had such a good conversation.

[B]

So. Oh, dang.

[A]

I bought her yarn.

[C]

I was gonna ask.

[B]

You have to.

[A]

At that point, she was literally, like, trying to find a way. I'm like, ma', am, this makes me so happy that you got yarn now. Yarn ain't cheap, by the way.

[B]

No, it's not. It's not. Every time Grandma, Sharon, Caleb, and mad Grandma. So our kids, great gamma. She makes quilts for all the kids. And she started making. Yeah, she makes all these fun things. I love it. And I love that she's in a quilting club. And, like, that's honestly goals.

[A]

Cute.

[B]

I know.

[A]

One day.

[B]

It's so sweet.

[A]

One day I honestly thought about, like, should we start a scrapbooking club? But then I'm like, even the thought of printing pictures is already just, like, a hard stop for me.

[B]

Why does printing. Getting pictures printed at Walgreens feel like such a. Like a high, hard mental task? It's so simple. They print within an hour. You go pick it up. But it just feels like a lot.

[A]

I just feel like it's impossible.

[B]

I know.

[C]

The thought of scrapbooking just, like, makes me uncomfortable.

[A]

Yeah. My mom used to do it with her friends, and so it's like, that sounds cute and fun, but, yeah, printing.

[B]

Pictures, printing their stuff, That's a hard stop for me. That was our last one. That's great.

[A]

Hopefully you guys are finding yourself not too deep in the winter scaries. But if you got inspired from this episode, tell us what you do to get out of the winter scaries. Honestly, I could still use some suggestions.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe these weren't even applicable because we live in the summer. We live in the desert now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, is this out of touch? But I think it's good. No. I thought you had some good ideas.

[A]

January still is. January is January. February still February?

[B]

Totally.

[A]

All right, should we get into some voicemails?

[B]

Let's do it. Ask, ask, ask.

[C]

Abby.

[A]

Hi, Abby. I was wondering what your advice is on feeling like you're being judged on your parenting. Thanks.

[B]

I guess I would wonder by who? Like, your friends or your parents? Oh, that's so hard. Because it does feel very vulnerable to be. It's like, as a parent, we're just really just trying to figure things out as we go, and none of us know, and no one is an expert. So then to feel judged on your decisions does probably feel really hard. And it's hard to feel confident in our decisions, too, because I. It's like, we don't always know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Say it with your chest and Question yourself in private.

[C]

I like that.

[B]

Do you know what I mean? Like, if someone. You're with someone and they're questioning, just be like, that's what we do. That's how we're doing it. We're gonna try it this way. And then when you're at home with your husband, be like, should we be doing it like this?

[A]

Yeah, no, I think that's really great advice.

[B]

But yeah, I don't think. Don't question it in front of other people. Just be like, oh, yeah, that's what we do. You don't always have to open the door for opinions when you're also trying to figure it out yourself.

[A]

Right. I think that's great advice.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I think opening the door for opinions is really important because I think that sometimes it's like, maybe you unintentionally. I'm not trying to blame you because I don't even know what the situation happens, but I just am speaking from personal experience. There's been times where I'm like, I'm a little bit frustrated at the feedback I got, but I also asked for it. Maybe I didn't think I was asking for it in a moment, but me bringing this up in that context was kind of just like, hey, come on in. Like, it was inviting it. So just be careful too. I think that's a great advice. Like, just say with your chest. I love the phrase, that's what we do. That's how we do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And also, I think. Yeah, I think you're. I think confidence is contagious. I also think calm is contagious. Like, if you're just like, not super reactive and just not just, like, I don't know, let it roll off. And I think that most of the things aren't as big of a deal, but yeah, also consider who the feedback is from. If you're like, someone, it's like, do I admire them? As a parent? If the answer is no, then it's.

[B]

Obvious that you just ignore it.

[A]

Yeah. It's just like you just let it go.

[B]

Ah, thanks.

[A]

Yeah, but it is hard if it's coming from someone like someone you really respect, like maybe your own parent. I could see that being, like, a much more difficult thing, but obviously ultimately comes down to you and your spouse. Like, for sure you're the ones who made this baby. You gotta. You gotta make those decisions and raising it together.

[B]

So. Agreed.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's really good advice.

[B]

I feel like there's something that I. I feel like when I'm online This is just. This is kind of a little bit of a different. But I. I was gonna talk to you about this. I feel like when I'm online, I don't. I try to avoid, like, parenting and stuff, because in my head, I'm like, if I haven't seen the results of these people's kids. Oh, you can take their advice sometimes. I don't know. Not that I want to talk to you about this, but just like, no, that's good. This conversation. We're on this, like, parenting pod. We're not. We're parenting podcasts. Yeah, that's a little. According to Apple. But sometimes I see things online. I'm like, oh, that's a good tip. It's like, I want to take things with grains of salt. But then I'm like, wait, these people online, I have no idea if their kids are Even. If they even have a relationship with their kids.

[A]

Also, I fully believe every kid is so different. Even between, like, my own two kids, I feel like I parent them a little bit differently each of them. And so it's like, okay, yeah, maybe someone is, like, thinking that's not the best decision that you can make. Also, they have a totally different kid than your kid. And so I think you can have so much confidence in knowing, like, you. You are the person that was chosen to raise your specific kid. And I think that should empower you. You can give you, like, a unique confidence because it's like, yeah, I mean, I'm constantly re Evaluating. Like, was do I think, like, that's a good. That's a good check to have in yourself. Like, is this. Should we continue this way? Should we kind of redirect in this way? Make these adjustments here and there. That's a good thing to have, like, those, like, check ins. But also, like, I just personally feel so much confidence. And, like, I was given Griffin, I was given Augie because I am meant to be like, their mom. And therefore, like, no one else is really, like, as equipped to be Griffin and Augie's mom as I am. So I just feel like that is. That also makes it easier to just, like, kind of sift through the feedback.

[B]

Totally. That's good.

[A]

Hi, guys. My name is Mira, and I was wondering, what is something that really matters to you when you're a teenager that doesn't really matter to you to this day? Thanks, guys. Bye. I got a bad advice one my grades.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh.

[C]

That'S a bad advice, Wanda.

[A]

Okay, it's bad advice, but I gotta just say it, because I also Know that a teenager could be listening to this. That was in my position where you would literally do anything to just make sure that you got an A in everything. And I gotta say, I don't feel particularly like that was worth the cost.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

Like stressing yourself to the point of exhaustion to get an A. Yeah. When a B is just as great.

[A]

I got one B my entire life, and it was in high school.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I'm not. No one cares now. I'm, as an adult, you. That was the most praise I've gotten for it.

[B]

No, surely not. No.

[A]

No one knows. No one cares. But, like, I was like. And I, like, tried to be casual about it. Like, I don't care about school.

[B]

I have straight A's.

[A]

I never got a B. I got one B. And it was my sophomore year of high school in one quarter. Like, I'm talking through college. Like, I was very studious, I guess. And here's the thing. I don't know how much I retained of all that. I was just very, very concerned about getting, like, that grade. And you know what? I don't even need a degree for.

[B]

What I'm doing right now.

[A]

This is bad advice.

[B]

I will say your discipline that you practice throughout those years has benefited you greatly in your life.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you.

[B]

So I don't know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe it's like the grade isn't great, but the discipline that you learned was very important. That is.

[A]

That is good.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I do think that discipline has served me well.

[B]

It has served you really well.

[A]

There were certain times where I'm like, though that was not worth the stress.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But here we are.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like when it came to grades, I was. I always naturally, without studying, would get a B. So I was fine with just getting a baby. And I would get the occasional C, and I would get the occasional A. And I was like, I'm crushing it. I just. I was. I honestly regret not taking school more seriously at times. Like, I kind of just coasted off of my natural abilities when if I actually applied myself, I probably would have gotten more A's and I maybe would have remembered it more. Okay. My. What is something that I thought about that I cared a lot about in high school that I don't think matters? I honestly just think, like, the social scene of high school. And I think I really. I've talked about this before. I really want to be a part of the party. And then you get out of high school and you're like, wait, there's so many amazing people in the world that I get to be friends with that I get to meet at different opportunities. I feel like when you're in school and you're with the same people every day, your world feels so small. And the drama and the thing, like, the gossip, it feels so big because it is. It is all consuming of your life in that season. But then you graduate, and you never see those people again. And I'm not even saying that as, like, a good or bad thing. It's just a fact. Like, you just never see those people again. And then you're. You're. Your world is opened up so much after you graduate. And I think that was perspective that I needed.

[C]

I want to give a disclaimer on what you just said, actually, because I was given that advice, was that you're never going to see the people from high school again. Those things don't really matter, things like that. So I took that very literally and was like. Like, we're not gonna be friends after high school, so why invest in this? I feel really bad about that. And, like, I want to apologize to those friends because I. I'm not friends with them. Guess what? They're all still friends. Oh. Because I. Because people were telling me that, and I really took it to heart. I was like, I guess I'm not gonna be friends with these people anymore. Why invest my time into that? So, disclaimer. You don't have to just, like, cut people off when you graduate.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. I love that you said that. So black and white, literally.

[C]

I really did.

[B]

That's a good. That's a good disclaimer. And that's really so sweet that you apologize.

[C]

Love you guys.

[B]

Yeah, that's sweet. Thank you. Watching there is that aspect. I mean. Yeah, I guess just more so, like, the drama and things. It might be a better clarification.

[A]

Hi. First of all, I just wanted to say I love Yalls podcast. Y' all are so sweet and super down to earth, and it's just exciting to see you guys stepping into this new role. So, anyway, I just wanted to ask, what is your favorite meal to make this time of year? I'm in Tennessee, so it's really cold right now for the time being. And just give me, like, your favorite recipes, like warm comfort food, but also healthy. Thank you. Bye, guys.

[B]

So cute. Oh, my gosh, I wish I had a Southern accent.

[A]

I know.

[B]

That was a really sweet message.

[A]

Honestly, when I hear a Southern accent, I just feel like I'm getting a hug.

[B]

Yes. That was such. And thank you for your encouragement. Everyone say with me on three. One, two, three. Soup Soups.

[C]

Oh, we were together. Pot roast. Two.

[A]

Those are all good.

[B]

Both are stellar. I have specifically this half baked harvest soup recipe. It's the noki.

[A]

Let me look at on that too. It's a creamy chicken yi soup.

[B]

Creamy chicken gnocchi soup.

[A]

It is not even that creamy. So don't be. Don't be deterred by that.

[B]

It's unbelievable. Good.

[A]

So flavor.

[B]

So warm, cozy.

[A]

It's. Let's link that to be.

[B]

We will link it.

[A]

Pot roast is honestly, it's just a hearty one that sticks to your bones, but you feel good when you eat it.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Also, I thought of. I made this, like, healthier hamburger helper that I've kind of, like, addicted to. It's definitely something you really want to only eat in the warmer months is what I'm saying. It's just a comfort meal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can sneak some veggies in there. It's actually pretty tasty.

[C]

Tasty. I like your chicken wild rice soup recipe. It's good chili. Of course.

[A]

Chili's good.

[B]

Oh, I've been making a lot of beef and broccoli lately. It's very cozy, actually, because it kind of gets thick with the cornstarch. And, you know, you're getting your veggies, your carb, and your protein. There you go. And it's really easy to make and it's flavorful, and I love that. Right now.

[C]

Chicken pot pie right now is a go to. Val taught me her easy recipe.

[B]

Oh, lasagna soup. We've had a few friends make that. Oh, add it to your list.

[A]

I can't because Matt doesn't like ricotta. I bet there's ricotta in it.

[B]

I don't think you would know.

[A]

Okay, I'll sneak it in.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think you would know.

[A]

Okay, good.

[B]

You can actually just put on top as a topping so you don't have to. He doesn't have to add it.

[A]

Homeboy has no idea how much cheese he eats.

[B]

I know. I love it.

[C]

He hates cheese.

[A]

Matt says he hates cheese, but he eats quite a bit of it unknowingly. Okay, well, thank you for adding recipes in. Just. Just seriously, from the bottom of my heart, just hearing your voices, it's just so rewarding and it's so cool. And just. Thank you. For those of you calling, can you shout out the phone number so if anyone wants to call in?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

With any fun, goofy question or a serious one.

[B]

Yes. 602-456-9690. That's the phone number to give us a call. I'll say it one more time. 602-456-9690. I think it'd be fun, too, if we write a review. Close up the podcast with a review. Okay. This is from Bri. She rated us five stars. Thank you, Bri. I love this podcast so much. I look forward to listening every week. You leave feeling inspired and ready to take on life. Love how genuine y' all are with some emojis. Thank you.

[A]

That's so nice.

[B]

Thank you for the review.

[A]

Thanks, guys. Okay, make sure you comment, like, subscribe all the things.

[C]

Join the book club.

[A]

Join the book club. Make some pot roast. I don't know. Okay, well, thank you.

[B]

And remember, we're always here.