Podcast Summary: Am I Doing It Wrong? – How to Save Time, Money, and Your Sanity When Taking Care of Your Car

Hosts: Raj Punjabi-Johnson & Noah Michelson
Guest: Kaya Milstein, founder of Mechanic Shop Femme
Date: February 12, 2026

Overview

This episode tackles the often intimidating world of car maintenance—with an emphasis on demystifying car care, cutting costs, and making the experience less stressful, especially for those who feel out of place at mechanics’ shops (including women, queer folks, and non-binary people). Kaya Milstein, author of Mechanic Shop Femme's Guide to Car Ownership, joins Raj and Noah to share practical tips, empowerment strategies, and a bit of myth-busting, with plenty of actionable advice and encouragement for car owners at every level of knowledge.

Main Discussion Points & Key Insights

1. Guest Introduction and Origin Story

Timestamps: 03:49-08:25

• Kaya’s entry into the automotive industry was “completely by mistake”—she began working at Sears Auto Center at 18 after aging out of foster care, with no prior expertise and not even a driver’s license.
• Her firsthand struggles and empathy for confused or anxious car owners shaped her mission: “My goal with all of this was to empower people through education—to get people to say, I can do this, I'm capable, I know enough, or I know where to get that information.” (Kaya, 08:20)
• Emphasizes that most car owners don’t need to DIY repairs, but do need to understand basics to protect themselves and make wise choices.

2. Demystifying the Automotive Industry

Timestamps: 08:26-09:14

• The car industry is overwhelmingly white, straight, male-dominated; this can make many people (including women and queer people) feel unwelcome and vulnerable to being taken advantage of.
• “So many people don't feel welcome there…to have someone who's demystifying it and saying, no, actually, you do belong there too…” (Noah, 09:11)

3. Fuel Choices and Saving at the Pump

Timestamps: 09:58-13:14

• “More expensive gas tends to be higher octane gas…But that doesn't mean it's a better gas for you.” (Kaya, 10:03)
• Unless your car explicitly requires premium fuel, you’re wasting money: “Americans waste $2.1 billion per year on premium fuel for vehicles that will not benefit from this fuel.” (Kaya, citing AAA study, 10:22)
• The owner’s manual is vital (and can be accessed digitally): use it to determine your car’s actual fuel needs and maintenance schedule.
• Quote: “I need to stop anthropomorphizing her and being like, do you want a little treat? Here’s some premium gas.” (Raj, 11:46)

4. Maximize Gas Mileage: Practical Tips

Timestamps: 13:30-18:39

• Tire Pressure: Checking and maintaining proper pressure saves gas, preserves tires (~5,000-mile longer lifespan), and ensures safety. For cars before 2008 (no tire pressure sensors), check twice a month; otherwise, check monthly.
• “Tires are expensive…you’re going to save money on gas…on tires…[and] you’re going to make your car safer…” (Kaya, 14:15)
• Other Tips: Use cruise control for highway driving, remove bike/roof racks when not needed, and close windows at highway speeds for better aerodynamics.
• “If your check engine light is on, your car is going to be using more gas in most circumstances…” (Kaya, 15:35)

For Electric Vehicle Owners

Timestamps: 17:06-18:39

• Charge at home when possible (cheaper), and try to schedule charging during off-peak electricity hours if your area supports it.
• In cold climates, use seat/wheel warmers to preserve range instead of the main heater.

5. Oil Changes: Frequency, Types & Myths

Timestamps: 18:39-21:29

• The type of oil (synthetic vs. conventional) is dictated by manufacturer, not driving frequency or “premium” labels—check your owner's manual!
• Synthetic oils usually last longer (sometimes double) and, while pricier, may be required for your engine and warranty.
• Even low-mileage drivers still need periodic oil changes: oil breaks down over time, even if the car isn’t driven much.

6. Spending Priorities: Where to Save & Where to Splurge

Timestamps: 23:05-26:21

• Replace anything that’s malfunctioning immediately (e.g., squealing belts, brakes), not a “splurge,” but a necessity.
• Tires: Worth spending extra for quality, as they impact safety and comfort.
• Best investment: Develop a relationship with a trusted mechanic.
• “If you have extra money…getting better tires is definitely a good option. Tires are what’s between you and the road.” (Kaya, 24:29)

7. Roadside Assistance (AAA and Others)

Timestamps: 26:21-29:57

• If you can easily afford a tow out of pocket, you might forgo roadside coverage; if not, it’s wise protection.
• AAA is premium-priced but offers perks (e.g., long-distance tows, towing bikes, better customer service); lower-cost options often available via insurance.

8. Essentials You Should (and Shouldn’t) DIY

Timestamps: 29:57-37:10

• Don’t focus on oil changes as a DIY if it means avoiding mechanic inspections—those regular visits help catch issues early.
• Easy, cost-saving tasks you can and should do at home:
  • Check tire pressure monthly (or bi-monthly for older cars)
  • Check oil level monthly—get familiar with what’s normal (“getting a baseline”)
  • Listen to your car weekly with the radio off for new and unusual sounds
  • Optionally, replace engine & cabin air filters yourself (look up car-specific tutorials)
• Quote: “If you don't know what your car is supposed to do…you don't know when there's a problem.” (Kaya, 31:30)
• Kaya offers TikTok/IG tutorials and virtual classes for car care basics.

9. Navigating the Mechanic-Client Relationship: Questions & Trust

Timestamps: 37:10-52:21

• Ask questions when recommended repairs come up:
  • Why is this needed?
  • Can you show me the problem?
  • Can you prioritize repairs if I can't afford all at once?
  • “Can you explain to me what's wrong with the car?...Can you show it to me either by walking up to the car and them showing you where the problem is or by sending you pictures?” (Kaya, 40:44)
• Find a trustworthy mechanic before an emergency—build the relationship by starting with regular service.
• Research: Use word-of-mouth and local community groups (Facebook, Nextdoor) to find recommended shops.
• Read 3-star reviews for balanced insight; assess how owners respond to negative reviews.
• For most repairs, independent shops offer a better experience and price than dealerships, but the best shops know when to refer you to specialists or manufacturers (for recalls, etc.).
• Right to Repair: Advocacy matters. Mechanics should have access to necessary data and tools.
• “Take it like dating…you want to start dating early on.” (Kaya, 40:52)

10. Overcoming Anxiety & Feeling Empowered (Especially If You’re Marginalized)

Timestamps: 50:28-54:51

• “You are capable, you are confident, you know what you're doing in every other area of your life. There is no reason why going into a mechanic shop should be any different.” (Kaya, 50:57)
• Most women and queer folks know more than they think—don’t let cultural conditioning disempower you.
• “It's your money, it's your car. The power is in your hands. You need to trust yourself when you walk into that space.” (Kaya, 51:12)
• Trust your gut, seek a second opinion if needed, and don’t be afraid to say no or walk away from a hard sell.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On premium gas:
  “I knew it was just like the Louis Vuitton of gas.” – Raj, 10:31
• On using the owner's manual:
  “Your owner’s manual is really your best friend…Control F Nation.” – Raj, 56:45
• On shame and empowerment:
  “I am holding onto a lot of shame and animosity about, you know, not knowing about this stuff, feeling like I'm purposely left out of these circles. And Kaya is right. It's really about education and empowerment.” – Raj, 57:46
• On trusting mechanics:
  "You find someone you trust—they’re not gonna lie to you. They’re gonna keep it a hundred with you. You’re gonna stay with them." – Raj, 45:25

Top 5 Takeaways (“Better in Five”)

Timestamps: 56:41-57:37

1. Owner’s Manual: Your go-to guide. Find it online, use search functions to navigate.
2. Tire Pressure: Check regularly—quick, easy, and huge return in safety and savings.
3. Find Trustworthy Mechanic: Use word-of-mouth and research before you’re in crisis.
4. Stay Engaged: Listen to your car and look under the hood routinely.
5. Repair Prioritization: Always ask why and how urgent a repair is—do what’s most critical within your budget.

Tone & Closing

The episode’s tone is warm, funny, and deeply encouraging. Both hosts openly discuss their anxieties and lack of car expertise, making Kaya’s advice especially accessible. The emphasis throughout is on empowerment, community, and overcoming shame—underscoring that with education and a bit of courage, anyone can confidently care for their car and advocate for themselves.

“It doesn’t have to be such a scary thing. I still don’t want a car. At least not in New York.” – Noah, 58:59

“As long as there are things to get wrong, we’re gonna be right here to help you do them better.” – Noah, 59:17

Resource Links (As Referenced by Kaya)

• Mechanic Shop Femme - Blog, Classes, and Book
• Mechanic Shop Femme on TikTok/Instagram for car care basics
• Search for digital car owner’s manuals by “[Year] [Model] owner’s manual” online

This episode is a must-listen for car novices or anyone anxious about car care—leaving listeners empowered, informed, and ready to hit the road with confidence.