Pick-me Girls, Politics, & Cancel Culture ft. Jared Freid (U Up? podcast)

Summary

American Fever Dream – Episode Summary: "Pick-me Girls, Politics, & Cancel Culture ft. Jared Freed"

Release Date: November 26, 2024
Host/Author: Betches Media – V. Spehar and Sami Sage
Guest: Jared Freed (U Up? Podcast)

---

1. Introduction and Guest Background

In this episode of American Fever Dream, hosts V. Spehar and Sami Sage welcome Jared Freed, a comedian known for his insightful takes on politics and society. Jared is introduced as "a unicorn: a white man, college educated, good looking, single, and Jewish" (01:25), setting the stage for a candid discussion about his experiences navigating a polarized political landscape.

V. Spehar (01:35): "A unicorn. A white man, college educated, good looking, single, Jewish."

2. Navigating Political Anxiety and Cancel Culture

Jared expresses his nervousness about engaging in political conversations, especially in environments where differing opinions can lead to "being canceled." He shares his apprehensions about participating in politically charged discussions, highlighting the fear of backlash despite his success.

Jared Freed (02:01): "But it's so funny for him to look at me and be like, what are you going to say? And I'm like, as if I'd come with these, like, crazy... Let me start by saying I'm an idiot. I know nothing about."

The conversation delves into how cancel culture disproportionately affects comedians, with Jared noting that many make more money post-cancellation, a trend he finds both ironic and reflective of the current societal climate.

Jared Freed (14:17): "The real answer is everyone who gets canceled makes more money after they're canceled."

3. The Intersection of Politics and Dating

A significant portion of the episode explores how political views influence dating dynamics. Jared discusses the challenges of dating in a highly politicized environment, where differing political affiliations can create barriers to forming connections. He illustrates this with personal anecdotes, such as his discomfort when someone compares him to a celebrity or comments on his political stance.

Jared Freed (33:47): "Am I dealing with a crazy person? Because all we see is crazies, and it's like, more people are closer to the middle."

The hosts and Jared reflect on the complexities of forming relationships when political identities are so prominently displayed and how this impacts the perception and acceptance of individuals across the political spectrum.

4. Comedy Amidst Polarization

The discussion shifts to the role of comedy in today's divided society. Jared emphasizes the importance of honesty in his comedic approach, choosing to focus on personal stories and universal experiences rather than pandering to divisive topics. He critiques the notion that to be successful, comedians must exploit controversial or offensive material, advocating instead for humor that fosters connection without alienation.

Jared Freed (18:06): "I can tell you that the real answer is everyone who gets canceled makes more money after they're canceled."

V. Spehar (15:14): "It's like, no, you write actual, like, observational humor, very funny jokes that let the audience be in on the joke, even if they're the butt of the joke, without being like, I don't think a lot of people understand the difference between, like, comedy and just being mean to people."

5. Generational and Societal Shifts

Jared and the hosts discuss how generational changes and societal shifts have altered interpersonal interactions. They compare the upbringing of their generation, which balanced traditional values with the advent of the internet, to the current digital age where everything is hyper-connected yet often superficial. This shift has led to increased anxiety around authenticity and trust in both personal and public spheres.

V. Spehar (45:24): "We grew up also with World War II grandparents, which I think is something that, like, I've recently come to understand was incredibly impactful to me."

6. Personal Anecdotes and Reflections

Throughout the episode, Jared shares various personal stories that illustrate the broader themes of political polarization and its impact on everyday life. From awkward dating scenarios where political beliefs are discussed to interactions with family members who hold differing views, these anecdotes provide a relatable context for listeners to understand the challenges faced by individuals navigating these turbulent times.

Jared Freed (37:01): "It wasn't a match. Well, this is why I feel so lonely. Like, I would say as, if you want to reduce me to a group, the straight white males... what does the loneliness come from?"

7. Conclusions and Final Thoughts

As the episode concludes, the hosts and Jared reflect on the resilience required to maintain personal integrity and relationships in a highly politicized environment. They emphasize the importance of open dialogue, empathy, and mutual understanding as tools to bridge the growing divides.

Sammy Sage (30:00): "I think what you want is what actually most people want, which is to live in a world where they are financially secure, physically safe, and socially free."

Jared Freed (60:33): "You feel better?"

The episode wraps up with a light-hearted exchange, hinting at future collaborations and the ongoing journey to navigate the complexities of American politics and personal relationships.

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Key Takeaways

• Cancel Culture's Impact: Cancel culture significantly affects public figures, especially comedians, often paradoxically boosting their popularity post-cancellation.

• Political Polarization in Relationships: Differing political views create significant challenges in forming and maintaining romantic relationships, leading to increased loneliness among certain demographics.

• Authentic Comedy: Maintaining honesty and personal integrity in comedy is crucial for fostering genuine connections with audiences amidst societal divisions.

• Generational Shifts: The transition from pre-internet upbringing to a hyper-connected digital age has altered how individuals interact, trust, and form relationships.

• Need for Empathy and Dialogue: Open communication and understanding are essential for bridging political and social divides, both in personal relationships and broader societal interactions.

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Notable Quotes

• Jared Freed (02:07): "I didn't know what the motivator is. What gets people to go?"

• Jared Freed (14:17): "Everyone who gets canceled makes more money after they're canceled."

• V. Spear (15:14): "It's like, no, you write actual, like, observational humor..."

• Sammy Sage (30:00): "Most people just want a normal, smooth, fair life."

---

This episode of American Fever Dream provides a nuanced exploration of how political environments influence personal relationships and public personas. Through Jared Freed's candid storytelling and the hosts' insightful commentary, listeners gain a deeper understanding of the intricate dance between politics, culture, and individual experiences in contemporary America.

Transcript

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[V. Spear]

Rise and shine, Fever dreamers. Look alive, my friends. I'm V. Spear.

[Sammy Sage]

I'm Sammy Sage.

[V. Spear]

And this is American Fever Dream, presented by Batches News, where we explore the.

[Sammy Sage]

Absurdities and oddities of our uniquely American experience. And today, we are joined by a unicorn. A white man, college educated, good looking.

[Jared Freed]

Thank you.

[V. Spear]

Single, Jewish.

[Jared Freed]

That's all those things.

[Sammy Sage]

Do you know who it is?

[Jared Freed]

I'm excited.

[Sammy Sage]

Jared Freed.

[V. Spear]

Thanks for having me to the show, Jared. Thanks for being here.

[Jared Freed]

Thank you for having me.

[V. Spear]

Taking time out of your privileged existence.

[Jared Freed]

That's right.

[V. Spear]

To spend with us, lowly.

[Jared Freed]

I got off of my white horse, I rode in here. My Steve.

[V. Spear]

Preachy females in democratic politics. We're so glad to have you.

[Sammy Sage]

Look, what are you doing with that extra 20 cents on the dollar?

[V. Spear]

Jack, you're so brave.

[Jared Freed]

Thank you. This is my brave moment. Yeah.

[Sammy Sage]

The reason we wanna talk to you is because we know the reasons that you're nervous.

[V. Spear]

All right, Tell us why you're nervous.

[Jared Freed]

I mean, even yesterday I was here, and your new business partner, Solly. Oh, Solly's like, you're going on the political one. He's like, I'm interested to see how that goes. And I'm like, I didn't even. You know, I'm talking with you, Sammy. So I'm like, but it's so funny that, like, this guy's a billionaire, and he's, like, going on the. Whatever.

[V. Spear]

The political and the political one with a Jew and a lesbian. Two preachy females in Democratic politics.

[Sammy Sage]

We are so to run you up. We are here to cancel you.

[Jared Freed]

Right.

[Sammy Sage]

That's actually why we trapped you. The door is locked now. Talk about women.

[Jared Freed]

Jared go off like, I don't. You think that's interesting, though, that, like, this guy who. He's successful in his own right. He probably has nothing really to worry about. Social. Like, he's not like a.

[Sammy Sage]

But he's not.

[Jared Freed]

He's not putting his opinion out there.

[Sammy Sage]

Yeah. It's not his thing.

[Jared Freed]

And he's a nice guy, and I'm sure his opinion is a worthwhile opinion, but it was funny for him to look at me and be like, what are you going to say? And I'm like. I'm like. As if I'd come with these, like, crazy. Like, Let me start by saying I'm an idiot. I know nothing about.

[V. Spear]

You're wearing a WWE hat.

[Jared Freed]

I am. I.

[V. Spear]

Which I, as a WWE fan, really brave today.

[Jared Freed]

Thank you. Yeah. This could be coded. Yeah, it could be.

[Sammy Sage]

Oh, it could be.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah. Linda, watch the documentary.

[V. Spear]

No, I can't.

[Sammy Sage]

She's the new Secretary of Education.

[V. Spear]

She's very smart. Look, I don't want to give anybody credit, but Linda McMahon of the whole circus is a worthy ringleader. She's okay.

[Sammy Sage]

Well, that's good that she's running education.

[V. Spear]

She's smart.

[Jared Freed]

I mean, that's a billion dollar, you know, that's the thing. That's the, like, the rub of it all.

[V. Spear]

Well, will she use your powers for good, though? Is what we need to know.

[Jared Freed]

You don't know, and you know, you don't know what. And then it's also like, so I go to St. Louis, and I was there last weekend, and I go to public courses.

[V. Spear]

I was also in Missouri last week.

[Jared Freed]

Where were you?

[V. Spear]

I was in Springfield with Chapel Rowan's parents, which were super nice.

[Jared Freed]

You are at the. Springfield. Missouri is like, the epicenter of weird.

[V. Spear]

Well, they asked me, oh, are you here for the assembly of God? And I was like, yeah, that's here. I was like, no, I'm here for like a gay fundraiser. And they were like, the Springfield, that area, isn't it? I didn't leave the hotel.

[Jared Freed]

It's a. Honestly, why didn't you leave the hotel?

[V. Spear]

What hotel? The Oasis, which is owned by the guy who owns all the trucking companies.

[Jared Freed]

Okay.

[V. Spear]

And so it was all truckers, some of whom were gay, which was so fun.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah.

[V. Spear]

And then it was just like a gay fundraiser for like all gay organizations across Missouri. They raised like a ton of money and it was super fun. But they were like, if you want to go anywhere, we have an escort for you. And I was like, no. Anytime you want to like manage me in a city, I'm like, this is not going to go well.

[Jared Freed]

Yes, Springfield from when I was there. And again, it's like a college town. So like it does have like your college thing going on, but it's also the Ozarks and it's like this very like right wingy area. And the open carry thing is like kind of done with pride. I remember I was there on a Saturday and it was just like men dressed going on a Halloween parade. Like it looked crazy with huge guns on their side. And it was just such a show. Like I, I. And I remember being like, man, like this is. And all the buildings kind of look like the wild west are not that very tall. It kind of looks like a movie set. And I have a joke in in 37 single in the special about like mentioning Boca and like it getting weird. Like and mentioning Jews and stuff. And I remember Springfield, Missouri is a place where it did get weird. Like someone, the crowd like got like awkward. But like that's like as much as I've ever seen. Like as far as like weird anti Semitism. Yeah, like that.

[Sammy Sage]

You don't really get that to go to your show. I mean they like.

[V. Spear]

You choose it. Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

But it's the 1 comedy club in the town, so we want comedy, we want the show. We don't. Whoever's the comedian they bring.

[V. Spear]

If you're willing to come to Springfield, Missouri, they'll have you on. No, it's where Chapel Rona's from.

[Jared Freed]

I didn't know she was from hometown.

[V. Spear]

I met her parents. They are so cool. We're gonna have them on. But they are, they're just such interesting people for like you don't ever assume you're gonna meet like a FA an up and coming famous person's parents. And they are equally lost in the swim things and just like such Delightful, kind people. But they were like, yeah, the only place we could take you is maybe if you want to go to the original Bass Pro Shop. And I was like, I'll be here. I'll be right here. Was that like, I'll be right here?

[Sammy Sage]

Oh, like, the first.

[V. Spear]

The first one, they were like, I don't go anywhere.

[Sammy Sage]

That makes sense that it would come from that culture.

[V. Spear]

No, I spent this week in my Hilton above the Applebee's in Times Square. I don't typically.

[Sammy Sage]

Well, that's America.

[V. Spear]

That's why you don't have to be scared to come on our show, because I'm literally scared of everything, including asking you a question that might scare you.

[Jared Freed]

I guess the thing is, from traveling, I really am not that scared, you know? Like, I. You know, But I do come across weird conversations every day because you're alone, and especially if you travel alone. Like, you just come across these, like, instances where you meet the country. I was golfing with these two men. They are in shorts in November. Golfing at a public golf course. You can spend, you know, it's 40 bucks. And, like, I go on, it's a beautiful golf course. And, you know, you just start chitchatting. And these guys, they literally were like, I said, where do you guys live? Because it was in Illinois, in Missouri, in St. Louis. The river separates Illinois from Missouri. And one guy goes, illinois. And the other guy says, I live in Missouri, and we play golf together every week. And I go, what? I go, why would someone live in Illinois versus Missouri? Like, which is, to me, such a simple question. And, like, I feel like an idiot. They go, well, you know, freedoms. I go, and I like guns, but at that point, I honestly don't know which one's more free. Like, it's not.

[V. Spear]

What was the answer?

[Sammy Sage]

We know what the answer is. They think Missouri has the freedom because Illinois is, like, the liberal one that has more law.

[Jared Freed]

So I said, I go, which one's which? And they literally. They go, missouri. And I go, but you can't even gamble in Missouri. You can't do DraftKings. And I was like, I want to. I had to put in my bets for the football before the weekend.

[V. Spear]

Did you have to, like, jump across the river and do your bet?

[Jared Freed]

That's kind of basically what you have to do. And I, I, I said. When I said that to him, but I was like, literally from the mouth of Babe. Like, I'm not. Like, that's not how I look at the world. And. And I just go, but you can't even gamble there. And they're like, like, it was as if, like, I just gave them the quadratic equation. Like, it was like, you've messed with the whole.

[Sammy Sage]

Because there's lawmakers, like, we need to gamble. We need the freedom.

[Jared Freed]

Well, they go, it's coming in January. They got, like, a little defensive. And then they go, we're run. And then the Illinois guy goes, were run by Chicago. Was basically his, his bent. And I'm like, okay. And I, and I again, I come out with this. I go, I'm just more like, you know, eating it. You know, like, I'm just like, okay, this is just an interesting.

[V. Spear]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

And I guess it's like, it kind of shows the, the emotional thing if you just say freedoms and, like, like, you're good with most people. Yeah.

[V. Spear]

They're like, my freedoms. Mistake.

[Sammy Sage]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Enough said.

[Sammy Sage]

But even in Missouri, you're like, you.

[V. Spear]

Have to cross over to do your betting. But in Missouri, you also can't access pornhub. They have the same laws as Texas. Really? You have to like, yeah, I think we know why they're friends.

[Jared Freed]

Well, maybe that's like.

[V. Spear]

A vpn, right?

[Jared Freed]

I, I, it's just like, it makes it. It shows you how complicated.

[V. Spear]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Like, this whole thing, states rights, but, like, just free.

[V. Spear]

Because I can carry gun.

[Jared Freed]

Right. I, I don't know. I, I just, like, I look at.

[V. Spear]

That and I don't see gay people.

[Jared Freed]

Because then the next question that was coming and I knew it was, could you vote for no? Now they know I'm a comedian. Is it hard to do comedy considering the woke audiences?

[Sammy Sage]

That's why we're here now.

[Jared Freed]

That's always.

[Sammy Sage]

That's why we were gonna ask you.

[V. Spear]

Like, no, because I'm actually.

[Sammy Sage]

No, no, no.

[Jared Freed]

Always the second question.

[Sammy Sage]

No, no, you're okay. I will just say you are kind of like the Anthony Bourdain of public golf courses.

[Jared Freed]

I have a lot of stories. Yeah. But I do think it's a good show.

[Sammy Sage]

Yeah, it really is so good. But what I regretted not asking you on Monday, November 4, was who you thought was gonna win. Because, you see, I think you see so much more of, like, the average American than I do. For sure.

[Jared Freed]

Right. I wouldn't claim to have guessed it because I just wasn't thinking of it, to tell you the truth. I kind of like, I felt I would say. And I said, we talked about this on you up. And it came up. And then we cut it out. And not to sound like I knew anything, but I was like, I just don't feel involved in the conversation. Was like, my kind of like. And I said, like. And I said, and this is why we cut it out. Because, like, I know this sounds bad, but, like, again, this is like, part of the nervousness of going on a. My opinion matters the same as anyone else's.

[Sammy Sage]

Well, it's better that you acknowledge that you don't like that your opinion isn't worth more than someone who would know and, like, that you're willing to hear.

[Jared Freed]

Of course I'm willing to hear, but I'm also allowed to have an opinion to hearing, you know, And I said.

[V. Spear]

Like, you're making a good point, though, that you. On November 4th, so many of us were like, oh, my God, I'm so involved. Yeah, but we weren't talking to men. Right. And that turned out to be kind of what the problem was, is a lot of men didn't feel included in the conversation or didn't feel like her policies reached them or that there was, like, inclusivity for them in the space. So they kind of were like, yeah.

[Sammy Sage]

If you're not into Trump, you're like, kind of like, okay, like, what's the motivation?

[V. Spear]

Right, Right.

[Jared Freed]

Like, what gets me to move? And I'm like, my motivation. You know, I was like, I don't think it's a motivating thing to talk about the abortion stuff. Like, I, I, I think that's, like, I care about it, but it's not motivating.

[V. Spear]

It got to be like, the constant.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah, that's all you heard about, which is fine. Like, I. And again, like, again, I'm talking about, like, what gets someone to, like, get up off the couch. And it was like, for me, single guy, no wife in my year.

[V. Spear]

Right.

[Jared Freed]

You know, like, that's. And I'm already agreeing with you. Like, I'm like, listen, I kind of was like, you know, if we look at the country as a business, one side feels like they have, like, some ideas and some thought of where we're going to go, and the other side, it feels like they're just, like, telling us how horrible things are. And I don't really feel it's that horrible. So, like, what gets people to go? And then you see these young kids who are in fraternities, like, having, like, you know, Trump parties.

[V. Spear]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jared Freed]

But, like, and you go, there's no one in their ear. You know, like, and they've also the, the rationalization that was given, like, these are state rights. It doesn't matter on a national Level he hasn't. You know, they already found ways to make themselves not, you know, threatening as they. The evil looked easier.

[V. Spear]

It looked easier to do that one. Yeah, the evil.

[Jared Freed]

No one thinks of themselves as the bad guy in the movie. So that was my thinking going in. And then. And then you see how it works out. And like, you know, now you're seeing all this stuff happen. And like, I kind of. Again, like, I guess, like, it's interesting to see that, like, people are kind of getting like angry at people for their list. What's your list of how you make your vote. And it's like, you can't understand that someone else's list might be different. Like the rankings might be different for them than you or that some people.

[Sammy Sage]

Might not, like, even have that. Like, I think a lot of people don't have a list. Like, they are not thinking that consciously. Like, there were people googling. Did Joe Biden drop out on election day?

[V. Spear]

And.

[Jared Freed]

Right. And.

[Sammy Sage]

And like, because they work for a living.

[Jared Freed]

Right?

[V. Spear]

You're like going through your day. You got your kids, you're trying to pay your bills, you're doing whatever. You turn on tv, you feel like they're yelling at you about abortion. That's not something you need your 8 year old to hear about today. So you shut it off. So you're tuned out. And then all of a sudden comes up and you're like, oh, I guess it's time to vote. Let me.

[Sammy Sage]

I don't know, I think this because our job is the Internet, right? So, like, their job is. Is. Is not on the phone.

[Jared Freed]

Well, it's, it's. It's guy who says Freedoms, right? Yeah. You know, like, like that is. It is.

[V. Spear]

It's easy.

[Jared Freed]

It's so much easier. And again, like, I can't. He goes, what do you think of the woke audiences right now? But I go, I go, there's an answer that you're gonna like. And I go, there's an answer that's gonna make you want to never talk to me again. I go, what do you want? And he goes, what? And I'm like, the one you like is, ugh. It's so hard. They're coming after me. Everything's awful. I go, if that's what you want to hear, I can tell you that. I go, the real answer is everyone who gets canceled makes more money after they're canceled.

[V. Spear]

Matt Rife.

[Jared Freed]

Matt Rife. Louis. They all made more money in their cancellation. Chappelle also, if you're a good comic and you're Working hard to write the jokes. You believe in your jokes, and people like them or they don't. You can't control someone not liking my joke does not mean that I can't work again. That's crazy. And they just have enough people that they can associate with that maybe those people won't come to my show. But honestly, I need people to hate my jokes as much as they love it, or I didn't say anything at all.

[V. Spear]

But they also. I don't know if they expect, like, every comic is Andrew Dice Clay in 1995 or something, and they're just here to, like, say the most disgusting, horrible, offensive things. It's like, no, you write actual, like, observational humor, very funny jokes that let the audience be in on the joke, even if they're the butt of the joke, without being like. I don't think a lot of people understand the difference between, like, comedy and just being mean to people.

[Jared Freed]

Right. Think it's, like, the same also, criticism versus, like, cancellation.

[V. Spear]

Right?

[Jared Freed]

You know, like, you know, Matt Rife. I don't. I think he created that whole. He was canceled. I think that's a PR move for him.

[V. Spear]

Right.

[Sammy Sage]

Like, I thought more people were watching him, and some people were mad, but so what? Like, more people are watching.

[Jared Freed]

Rife's joke that people mad at was a horse belt, like a domestic. It was, but it was a street joke. It was a joke that people have done before. You know, it was a domestic violence joke, but it's a domestic violence joke that has been told. Again, like, to me, I see a.

[Sammy Sage]

Joke like that, I'm thinking it wasn't that, like, original of a joke either.

[Jared Freed]

No, it's been done a thousand. It's been done by, like, horrific dads throughout history. Beginning of time. Like, okay, it was. It was basically like, you don't have to tell her twice type of thing. It was a woman in the kitchen domestic violence joke, which is like, I go, okay. Like, I don't know what we're talking about here.

[V. Spear]

You know?

[Jared Freed]

Like, I was like. I just like. Like, if someone's mad at that, like, I can understand it. I don't think they were there for him in the first place. Like, I think, like, he then says, they're coming after me, which everyone feels they're being come after. I think we're all listening to the. The commenter, the one that hit. And also, commenters are really good at making you feel bad because we go online and we make ourselves vulnerable just by putting ourselves out there. So they know exactly what to say to make you feel bad. When you're vulnerable with someone, they have the cheat code to making you feel bad. So the reason we all talk about commenters so much is cause, like, they're really good at what they do.

[Sammy Sage]

You know, people are look for paid, unpaid workers. Look, they are very good at it.

[V. Spear]

They're professional.

[Jared Freed]

Right. But also, you need the commenter.

[Sammy Sage]

If there's no one commenting for good and bad, that kind of means no one's listening, which is annoying. Right?

[Jared Freed]

Right.

[Sammy Sage]

But it's like, I don't want to have to be controversial. Not that this is something I would ever really like. I'm not. That's not how I think about things. But it's like, I don't want to have to piss people off so more people would know me.

[Jared Freed]

We were talking about this over text, but, like, the idea of, like, a Joe Rogan for the left. And I was like, well, all these guys, the reason there's so many, like, white men doing Joe Rogan ish stuff is like, you know, there's a draw to that. Say outrageous things that you don't even believe in. Like, I listen. I've. Over the course of doing. I've been doing comedy 14 years. I've made jokes that I would never make again. I've. I've done bits that I wouldn't do. Now what I've been trying to do the past three years mostly is like, I'm like, do I care about this thing? Is it personal? Do I want to talk about it every night? That's like my three things that I look at when I'm, like, thinking of a joke or thinking of a bit. And you saw the set I'm doing now. That's stuff I love talking. I talk about my family in it. There's stuff about body.

[Sammy Sage]

December 7th.

[Jared Freed]

December 7th, we're taping a special with betches. Very excited. This could be so good. It's gonna be good. It's called the Family Plan. We gave it a name. But also, and I say it in the set, I go, I only make fun of people I know or hope to meet or. And I only tell stories that are true. And this is like, this is something that I've, like, I take pride in. It's harder to do. But when I see people doing, like, talking about, like, these hot subjects that are hashtags, there's a. There's an incentive, you know, to going that way and having the hot opinion on. And people only care that you're talking. Like, I had people that oh, so you go safe. Someone was like, I was like, I talk about my family. Oh, so you're a safe comedian. I'm like, I don't think there's anything more safe than talking about politics right now.

[V. Spear]

Right.

[Jared Freed]

You know who agrees with you? You know who doesn't agree with you? You know who you're mad. You know who's with you.

[V. Spear]

They treat it like a sports team. So they'll get all excited for you about it, right?

[Jared Freed]

You know, call the bad guy. And if you insult your team, if.

[Sammy Sage]

You insult your team, you end up like Vilmar and you're in like the middle and you're in this like reactionary group that people don't like because they don't like, toe the line.

[Jared Freed]

You've sold out in that way. There's all. Everyone thinks everyone or paid fed, which.

[V. Spear]

Well, they just want to discredit anybody who is. Especially in the influencer world. It feels like, especially, you know, this last year, anybody who started to move into professionalizing or started to sort of like believe that you could do this, they're like, no, the you can't fed.

[Jared Freed]

Right.

[V. Spear]

You know, and it's like, again, that's.

[Jared Freed]

A commenter who like knows how to get you.

[V. Spear]

The call out content has become was. I don't think it is as much anymore, but it was like its own thing. Like doing the best clapback or being a call out or an accountability creator, I think. Accountability.

[Sammy Sage]

What was an accountability where they make.

[V. Spear]

Up like wild lies about me and then they're like, I'm holding you accountable. I'm like, I've never heard of you.

[Sammy Sage]

Yeah, I've never even heard of an accountability creator.

[Jared Freed]

Isn't it stressful going back to Joe.

[V. Spear]

Rogan and what his genius is is not necessarily that he's like a super smart guy who knows how to do stuff. He just took the things that we all love to do and then monetized it. Like I could call Sammy and talk shit for three hours straight, right? And have the best time. We should have just recorded that and then just unedited, throw it on the Internet and we would be millionaire. Maybe that's what we do. Or like rehashing drama from like nothing or having an opinion about something I'm not an expert on. He just puts it out there.

[Jared Freed]

Bring up such a great point.

[V. Spear]

Like, you know, I.

[Jared Freed]

You ever watch those people who have the VR on?

[Sammy Sage]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

And they're like going, they're, they, they're like, this person has virtual reality and they're doing Tightrope walking. And you're watching how scared they are. They believe. I think, like, I think the left especially, but, like, we all, me, you, everyone, the way you're talking right now, we're all like, the scared person with VR on. Like, we're all the person that's like, what if I fall over? And I think Joe Rogan, his power is that he knows that this is all virtual reality. None of it matters. He can fall off that wire. He's gonna be fine. And I think the people that are, like, really the most successful in that arena, like, they can just. They cut. They go. The noise is the noise. I'm just gonna fall off.

[V. Spear]

Bash is cash. That Iltok told me they were like, bash is cash. If you're getting canceled, oh, you're about to get paid, you're gonna get paid. But I do think it is that thing of, like, when we talk about something on our show, we'll have people fact check us, and we fact check all the politics we're doing, make sure that we got the policy and the date and all this stuff. And on the other side, they're like, you know what's fucked up? Taxes, man. We shouldn't pay them.

[Jared Freed]

Well, why do we pay.

[V. Spear]

Taxes are a theft.

[Jared Freed]

That was the funny.

[V. Spear]

They are, right? And then you just. And then all of a sudden, that becomes like. And they're like, well, that's the lie. And they're like, it doesn't matter. It was fun.

[Jared Freed]

It did. Yeah, you're. You're so right because it was so funny.

[Sammy Sage]

You.

[Jared Freed]

You watch all. And again, this is why I come on here. And I go, I know nothing. I'm an idiot. And I truly believe that the.

[V. Spear]

Yeah, no one expects you to be pretty and smart.

[Jared Freed]

You know what I mean? That's true.

[V. Spear]

I agree.

[Jared Freed]

That's all I care about. So a compliment will get us every everywhere.

[Shopify Representative]

Hello, oversharing Listeners, it's Dr. Naomi Bernstein with some exciting news. Starting January 13th, our Oversharing Calm the down subscription is getting even better. Subscribers will get oversharing episodes a day early, plus additional exclusive bonus content on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays of each month. Here's what's new. One bonus episode with even more emails and advice, and another where we follow up with past email writers who could be you. While we won't be releasing new meditations in the new year, don't worry. All of our past meditations will stay available on the feed for you to enjoy anytime. Plus, we'll have a new meditations playlist for Our Spotify listeners. To sign up now, head to subscribe.basches.com and select Oversharing. Calm the fuck down. We're so excited about creating this new bonus content, talking to more of you, hearing your stories, sharing some of our own, and reminding us all to calm the down.

[Jared Freed]

Have you ever spotted McDonald's hot crispy fries right as they're being scooped into the carton? And time just stands still.

[Sammy Sage]

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[Jared Freed]

Yeah, you see these people who are, like, they almost, like, know the whole Constitution by word. And then the other person's like, who fucking cares, man?

[V. Spear]

My freedoms.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah, like, freedoms.

[V. Spear]

Everything could be. Yeah. Boiled down to states rights and freedoms.

[Jared Freed]

Honestly, that's better marketing than, like, walking someone down a logical road. Like, if you think of marketing, I'm.

[V. Spear]

Rethinking this whole show.

[Sammy Sage]

I know maybe you guys, you know what I've been thinking? You know what I want to, like, what I really considered doing, like, the next day after the election was like, what if I just came out as a Trump supporter and did, like, a Stephen Colbert thing for the whole administration?

[V. Spear]

Yeah. Just make it.

[Jared Freed]

Well, for years, thought Stephen Colbert was, like, not.

[Sammy Sage]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jared Freed]

Right. Like, you would be beloved. Like, but, but.

[Sammy Sage]

But people would get it. Like, I think I. Maybe we should.

[Jared Freed]

No one gets.

[Sammy Sage]

We have any Trump supporters.

[V. Spear]

No. Maybe we should try to get in the cabinet, is what I think.

[Sammy Sage]

You know, I think we're just gonna fuck around.

[V. Spear]

I might as well be a part of the party.

[Sammy Sage]

Why don't we pitch a new. A new position. Podcast secretary.

[Jared Freed]

Oh, we should. There you go.

[V. Spear]

And then we spend one hour with a white man. Look at the ideas we're getting. No, this. This is why you need more white.

[Sammy Sage]

Men on a microphone.

[Jared Freed]

I'm telling you, we don't talk enough. I don't know. It is so funny to me. I think the biggest issue is those people on the right. They just call you names and that hurts, and that's whatever. But the people on the left, if they get mad at you, they make you evil, and they find a way to make you. They find a way. A victimization that you didn't even think of, a version of what you said. And good people, nice people, thoughtful people, like ourselves. Like, I think of myself. I am thoughtful. When I get a bad comment and someone says to me, you have offended me. As this. This is the angle you weren't thinking of. I'm like, I spend the day just, like, throwing that around in my head going, jared, you know, you should think of these things. And then I'm like, what an expense of energy that someone isn't doing. Do you know what I mean? That I'm like. And I'm like, can't you just be happy that I'm here with you? You know, we might not agree on everything. I kind of like, you know, when people said, defund the police, I'm like, that is the dumbest marketing campaign I have ever heard. And I was like. And I'm like, I can't. You know, you hear something like that.

[Sammy Sage]

You can't say that.

[Jared Freed]

Well, that's the thing.

[Sammy Sage]

We should call it police community reform. And people were like, no, defund the police.

[V. Spear]

Well, because we never got to talk about. We never got to talk about the good stuff, right? Because all they heard was defund the police. So we never learned about violence interrupters or all the other cool stuff that they did. So, yeah, it was.

[Jared Freed]

And there's police officers that are like, you know, like.

[V. Spear]

And then you, dude, what about me? I'm like.

[Jared Freed]

And also the Internet, we only see the people that, like, agree with us completely. And then you see the crazies. Like, it's just too. And it's like, that's all you see. And it's like, again, to go back to, like, traveling the country, I don't have issues at the show. Like, I. And I'm not political, but I also, like, I have a part in the set where I talk about my dad asking me how much I weigh at the beach. And then he's like. And I'm like, for some people, asking someone how much they weigh in any scenario is, like, the most evil thing in the world. And I say. I go, I'm not as liberal as you. And then you have someone. And I go. And then I go into my story. But when I say that, I kind of have, like, a wincing moment where I'm like, every once in a while, not all the time. You would think just mentioning the word liberal would Make. And when I say I'm not as liberal as you, you get someone in the crowd.

[V. Spear]

Woo.

[Jared Freed]

God. Every once in a while. Not every time. And then I always say to them, I go, oh good, we found the most horrific person in America. Like for you to need.

[V. Spear]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

The room of people in the middle of something that has not. And I, you know, like the point.

[V. Spear]

I'm making with your wife or something. Just having a nice night out.

[Jared Freed]

It's like we're not at a rodeo. There's no pig getting lass out. Like, like it's like crazy. And I, I don't know, it just, it makes me depressed.

[Sammy Sage]

You know what you're honestly like, what you're speaking to and why you're afraid to like come on the show. And Sally's comment, like all of that is very emblematic of why the Democrats lost this election because they pushed anyone who would sort of have a, a less than 100% sure opinion, like in the direction of the left. And they were like, you can't say anything. If you say something, we're going to make you deeply uncomfortable. And if thinking about like you and anyone who is, you know, throwing the Trump party, why would they want to subject themselves to this when they could just say, well you're fucking wrong and close the argument and then go wear your hat and go have fun.

[Jared Freed]

Right. Why not party? Yeah. Like, well, and also the person that would make you feel bad usually is like more well read than me. Like what am I gonna do? I, you know, I'd rather be with the. Oh, fuck off. You know, like that guy. Cause like, I'm like, you know, and my parents voted for Trump. I'm sure of it. We haven't really talked about it. You know, I've tried to discuss with them the, you know, where I come from, where, where. And I do think most of political stuff is like my personal opinion. It's, there's like, it's the age thing more than it is the left thing. I don't know even location. Like, I do think like when I hear Pete Buttigieg talk, I don't think of that guy as like anything but just like a, a government person who like really wants to make stuff happen. I don't think he's like sitting in this like identity thing. I think it's like, which really like I do think is a part of it. Like, I do think like he's sitting there going, I got a road, I gotta fix the road. And I think that's like where most.

[Sammy Sage]

People, airlines pay Right.

[Jared Freed]

Like, I think that's where most people lie. And I think that's, like, where, like, our generation lies. We're the. We're the uber generation. We like efficiency. We want the Uber to show up at our door, you know, so, like.

[Sammy Sage]

We want the government to work. And I think that things have become much more about, like, oh, she's black, she's gay. It's like, who cares?

[Jared Freed]

But even the Trump thing, like, that's why he's attractive to a lot of men too, because he goes into that, like, you know, I'm gonna have the best people. We're gonna fix it, you know?

[V. Spear]

And that's it.

[Jared Freed]

And that's it. We're gonna fix it. I don't know how, but we're gonna fix it. And things are wrong.

[Sammy Sage]

And then they're like, Kamala Harris, tell us to the 12 steps to how you're gonna fix.

[V. Spear]

People would black out halfway through and be like, that's too much. I don't want to hear about this. Just say, I'm gonna pick.

[Sammy Sage]

Yeah, well, I don't want your answer. And then she'd be like, I'll fix it. And they'll be like, well, how are you gonna fix it? She'll be like, well, stop talking. Later.

[V. Spear]

I've got an opportunity agenda for. For black men. And they're like, what about the gays? And. Okay, well, she answered that one already.

[Jared Freed]

But, like, it shouldn't be about, like, how badly I'm not. I consider myself an independent in whatever way that is. But, like, I don't even know what that means anymore.

[Sammy Sage]

I think what you want is what actually most people want, which is to live in a world where they are financially secure, physically safe, and socially free. And you want to be left alone, and you want to do your gambling and you want to watch your porn, and you want to be able to access your birth control, and you want to be able to go to a school where you don't get yelled at for, like, the things you say. I think most people just want sort of like a normal, smooth, fair life.

[V. Spear]

Like, I think the 90s shock, really, if we could just get the Clinton administration back. You want to freedom. I just want. I want, like, midterm Clinton. I want the biggest scandal to be that he got a blowy at the. At the. Which is for what we deal with now. If the worst thing we were dealing with was, like, the President having some sort of extramarital fun time affair.

[Sammy Sage]

Like, also, he did take advantage of her, but she. She was into it, it wasn't like one of those things where it was like he is like forcing her into anything. It was the media that fucked her up. It was like everyone else.

[V. Spear]

She and Dylan could have had a beautiful life together, had their affair. I love Monica Lewinsky so much.

[Shopify Representative]

I love her.

[V. Spear]

Since childhood I've been really. Yeah. So after Barbara Walters interview I was like 12.

[Sammy Sage]

Same. I broke my wrist that night. I was watching it in the hospital.

[V. Spear]

This is why my mom believe I was a lesbian because at like 12 I watched the Barbara Walters interview of Monica Lewinsky talking about what had happened and she was wearing this red lipstick and I was just obsessed with it and it made my mom drive me to New York City to Club Monaco to buy the red lipstick that she had worn.

[Sammy Sage]

So she didn't think you were a lesbian because you were obsessed with Monica Lewinsky's lipstick.

[Jared Freed]

Right. There was no idea that maybe there's.

[Sammy Sage]

That maybe you liked the lipstick for a different reason.

[V. Spear]

Look at my wife and look at Monica Lewinsky now. They're very similar looking, very beautiful.

[Jared Freed]

That's that. That's my type too.

[Sammy Sage]

He's gorgeous.

[V. Spear]

She's also gorgeous and she's so smart and so cool. She's also Sammy's type. But I'm telling you, my mom was like, there's no way you're lesbian. Remember the thing with the lipstick and you were obsessed with Monica Lewinsky. And I'm like, well, yeah, I do remember that.

[Sammy Sage]

Have you read her wonderful pieces in Vanity Fair? She's a wonderful writer as well.

[V. Spear]

She first of all, the world missed out on Mona L. We could have had so much fun at that age. Well, we did invite you.

[Sammy Sage]

She's very beautiful now too.

[V. Spear]

She's. Well, this is why we asked you to be here.

[Jared Freed]

She married?

[V. Spear]

She necessarily.

[Sammy Sage]

No, she's single.

[V. Spear]

Monica Lewinsky, if you don't call this show right now, we know somebody who knows somebody.

[Sammy Sage]

Jared, honestly, you could make her laugh.

[V. Spear]

Well, we asked you to be on the show because we wanted to know about what it's like for people who are single and dating in this like post apocalyptic political world. We didn't get to that yet. But now that we're on Monica Lewinsky and we found your type, it's time. The question is like as a guy existing in the world, some of like my brother in law was like, I'm afraid that women are going to think I voted for Trump and be mean to me. And I'm like, okay.

[Jared Freed]

Did he. I don't know.

[V. Spear]

No, he didn't he voted for Kamala. He's married.

[Jared Freed]

Well, that's the thing. It turns into Diddy. You know what I mean? Like, it is interesting for you.

[V. Spear]

Like, do you feel like this politics. How much is politics? Infiltrating the dating world right now?

[Jared Freed]

Well, I talked. I talked about my list of, like, why I would vote for Kamala. Top of the list was fucking.

[V. Spear]

Yeah. You know, number one might date me if I vote the right way. The Walker pole put her on the campaign trail. We would have got all the men.

[Jared Freed]

Right.

[V. Spear]

That was a mistake. It wasn't not being far enough. It wasn't Liz Cheney. It's that we picked the wrong 1990s person.

[Sammy Sage]

I bet you they. I wonder if they asked her. Maybe we could ask her if they asked her.

[V. Spear]

If we get Monica Lewinsky on the show, I'm gonna shut it down. We'll have you back.

[Jared Freed]

Do you think she. She probably gets the. Your whole life becomes about that. Okay.

[Sammy Sage]

You know, the ad that Kamala. It was like, no one knows who you vote for.

[V. Spear]

Yeah.

[Sammy Sage]

What they should have done was what you're just. You just said, women will want to fuck you.

[V. Spear]

See?

[Jared Freed]

Right. Yeah.

[V. Spear]

I mean, that's how it worked with Roe v. Wade. Right after Roe, I was at VidCon, and the boys with the broccoli hair were like, girls are gonna be scared of us. And, like, what does this mean? I was like, condoms forever, brothers. Condoms forever. And they were like, but you gotta.

[Jared Freed]

Find the win, right? You gotta find.

[V. Spear]

You gotta find the win for people.

[Jared Freed]

People's mind blowing.

[Sammy Sage]

They're like, I'm voting for Trump.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah. So dating, I would say it's very difficult because there's this, like, unsaid thing, and I don't think it comes out right away, like, who'd you vote for? I don't think. I think the people doing that are, like, you know, awful. You know, I think when you go on a date with someone, especially from a dating app, you know a little bit, but you don't know much. So, like, you kind of make a lot of assumptions.

[V. Spear]

You see what.

[Sammy Sage]

They're coded and people a little bit.

[V. Spear]

People are very kind of senior.

[Jared Freed]

I took out the fish. It's just me laying with a tiger that's been drugged. When I was in Nepal. No, I. I'm not on dating apps. It's been a while. I got off in the summer. But you do have this thing where you meet people. And I would say for me, personally, if I'm speaking, I don't get a lot of who'd you vote for. I get more. What are your feelings on the Jewish shit?

[Sammy Sage]

Oh, if you're dating the Jewish women.

[Jared Freed]

If I'm dating Jewish women. And I know that Jewish women my age are kind of freaking out online. You know, they feel a little bit turned on. You can see the posts.

[Sammy Sage]

So they want to know if you like would post Free Palestine.

[Jared Freed]

No.

[Sammy Sage]

Do they know that you would never post about this issue at all?

[Jared Freed]

I posted like once after October 7th. But like, I think they want to know that I'm as uncomfortable and unsure as about it as they are.

[V. Spear]

Like you're taking it serious. Like anti Semitism is serious.

[Jared Freed]

Well, it's.

[V. Spear]

Will you protect them from violence kind of thing.

[Jared Freed]

I think the, like, this is crazy, right? Like, I think it's way less.

[Sammy Sage]

Do you think that anyone is like, not on that page? Like, this is crazy.

[Jared Freed]

Well, I think it's like, because again, to go back to what can you say? What can't you say? Your side getting mad at you. Like, liberal leaning, nice people getting mad at you for being like, I'll say a few things and I'm not going to name names or anything, but like, I've had people tell me that this is the best time to like Jewish date. Because people are more like into their Jewish culture. They're like, they want to be amongst Jews. I'm giving you a thing. It's a thing I less about like.

[Sammy Sage]

Free assimilation kind of like people who are Jewish are more connected to their own Judaism. So they want to be with Jews. It's just like it feels like a more like become more insular a little bit.

[Jared Freed]

Right. They want the natural stuff.

[Sammy Sage]

Like, yeah, like it matters more because there's like a safety with.

[V. Spear]

Sure.

[Sammy Sage]

Like, Right.

[Jared Freed]

And I think the opinion too of like it never goes like this. Right. I understand why someone would have a problem with Israel. I also want Israel to exist. So like that's a very. I've now opened myself up with that opinion to anger from both sides of that issue. And I had. I got all the DMs. I got all the DMs. You haven't said enough. You haven't said enough for either side. Like, I was getting yelled at by all sides. And me, a comedian who. And getting told again to go back to like getting paid off a paid fed. You make money off of talking about your Jewishness. How could you? And I got so angry at some of these people. I would write back to them. It was a lot of women, but I have female following. So that's what's gonna. That's kind of by the nature of the numbers. But it was a lot of people writing me, and I would write back to some of them. I'd go, you should show this to your mother and let her know that you're attacking another Jew going through the same thing as you again, to go back to dating. You'd be on dates with girls. And again, I go out with a lot of Jewish women where they're, like, lucky. I thank Hashem every day. So I go. And there's this just, like, feeling out. And I think that's like, an example of other examples, like a Trump voter, not Kamala voter. Where do you stand? You know? And I had one time, I was on a. I was having drinks with a woman, and I wear a chain. I'm not wearing it now, but I was. My grandfather passed away. He had a high that was like. And then it was in my dob kit. I never wore it. Then I found, like, a chain. I was like, maybe I'll wear this. This was like, pre. Pre. Any pretend 7. Pre 10 7. So I was wearing it and, like, this woman, like, she. Like, what's on your chain? It was a high. And she was like, oh, my. And you could tell.

[Sammy Sage]

She was like, she's marrying you in her head.

[V. Spear]

What's a high?

[Jared Freed]

It's like, what would.

[Sammy Sage]

How you could explain it? Like, a little.

[Jared Freed]

It's a symbol.

[Sammy Sage]

It's just. It's like he's life.

[V. Spear]

Oh, like, okay.

[Sammy Sage]

Yeah, it's a symbol. And it's like, no, that's a homsy.

[Jared Freed]

It looks like an end.

[Sammy Sage]

I'll show it to you.

[V. Spear]

The letter.

[Sammy Sage]

It's a letter with, like, a little. And it just means. It means life or 18 or like.

[Jared Freed]

It was my grandfather. So, like, I wore it more to, like, remember him than anything else.

[V. Spear]

It's like wearing a cross.

[Sammy Sage]

It's not.

[Jared Freed]

It's similar.

[V. Spear]

Which I also think is, as, you know, strange.

[Sammy Sage]

Yeah. I mean, I felt like a huge.

[V. Spear]

Murder weapon on the. On the pennant since I was a kid.

[Jared Freed]

I was like, yeah, you're right.

[V. Spear]

And they're like, well, because we have to remember the sacrifice. I was like, how could you forget? It's everywhere. Like, why not? Like, I like the Jesus face ones because I'm like, okay. But the cross has always made me very, like, wow.

[Jared Freed]

The murder weapon face ones kind of look like you're entering, like, an Italian villa. You know how they have, like, those ghostly faces?

[V. Spear]

Yeah. My family's Romani. We like all the gold.

[Jared Freed]

Okay.

[V. Spear]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Hold on. She took it and she kissed it passionately. Like, this was like. And I'm, like, looking around, and I'm.

[Sammy Sage]

Like, she thinks it's like the Torah coming down the aisle, kind of.

[V. Spear]

I was like, can I.

[Jared Freed]

And I was sitting there like, I can't believe this is gonna get me blown.

[Sammy Sage]

Look, you could vote for Kamala or you could wear a high.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah, one or the other, you know, like. But I didn't even know what it meant to that. And it was. But I've seen a reaction to it with women that I'm, like, surprised by because it wasn't the intent. This isn't me trying to, like, cool or, you know, manipulate. But I do think that's, like, the nature of dating right now, where it's like, do we align on this unsaid thing? Am I dealing with a crazy person? Because all we see is crazies, and it's like, more people are closer to the middle. Like, when someone's like, can I date someone from the other side of the aisle? I'm always like, I can't speak to that. I think if you've met each other and gone out, you've met each other and a normal person, for someone to just be a team of anything, I'm always a little.

[Sammy Sage]

That's a little tough slice of the pie. And I think that it's like, what you're saying is that people are looking at it as, like, that takes over their whole pie.

[Jared Freed]

Right.

[Sammy Sage]

And for most people, it doesn't. The other thing that you're saying is, like, I think people assume that their opinions are going to be fixed forever. When you can change your feelings on an issue, on a political party, as the culture, I mean, I can change it.

[Jared Freed]

Personally, I have, you know, like, I. I definitely was like, small government, you know, that became taboo.

[Sammy Sage]

Still are small government.

[Jared Freed]

Right. I still. But I'm saying, like, the. The taboo was, like, fiscally conservative, socially liberal.

[V. Spear]

Oh, y.

[Jared Freed]

That's. Now you can't say that anymore.

[V. Spear]

That's. Yeah, that's left with Romney.

[Jared Freed]

Right. That's like, you can't say that. That's, like, evil to say. But I would like to think that that, like, I am those things. But then you go, it becomes so much more complicated with dating. That used to be something you could say in dating and be like, enough said. Move on.

[Sammy Sage]

Moderate on. Your profile became, well, moderate conservative.

[Jared Freed]

Well, moderate means my parents still pay my cell phone. That is.

[V. Spear]

I think you could. Everything is maximized. Right. So if somebody says, would you date a Trump supporter, they're thinking of, like, red Hat rally, hate women, Christian, want nine kids off you. Like, women should be in the kitchen, ballerina farm type stuff, right? They're not thinking of, like, well, my dad voted for Trump, so I voted for Trump because I didn't really know a ton about it. And it's just kind of like how it went. And if you took the time to let them know, you know, maybe next time we don't do that, or do you actually believe these things or whatever, like, it'd be different.

[Jared Freed]

But it's so funny you said that because, like. Like, months ago, I noticed my dad was, like, putting together, like, his own speech on why he's gonna vote for Trump. And he was like, kind of working it out, workshopping it a different. Workshopping it, like. And it was very funny to watch. Cause he's like, you know, I don't agree with his opinion. And, you know, he was workshopping how to be a member of his community, where he knows people disagree with him and are gonna vote differently than him, and how to soften that to not be evil amongst his friends. And it was actually kind of sweet. Like, you know, like, he cared enough about his comfort around him. He knew who agreed with him, he knew who didn't agree with him. He knew the people, you know, which.

[Sammy Sage]

Points you're gonna bring up. Oh, I like his Israel. I like his taxes. It's like, oh, those people care about money. Those people care about Israel.

[Jared Freed]

How do I make myself not evil and not the red hat wearing. And again, that is a change. He has now come closer than he was maybe four years ago to not or being. He would never say that, but, like.

[V. Spear]

That'S what happened with my dad. He voted for Trump in 2016, did not vote for him in 2020 for his daughter, who, like, he's like, look, nothing matters more to me than you getting off my back. All right, I'm not gonna go vote then. And then we're gonna be fine, right? That's as far as I'll come.

[Jared Freed]

Deal's a deal.

[V. Spear]

And then this time, voting for Kamala. Cause he was so proud of me. And also because he wanted this to be over. He's like, I just want this MAGA shit to be over with. I wanna get back to my golf game and my buddies and not dealing with it.

[Jared Freed]

Well, that's so funny too. Cause I was talking. I did my own kind of post election podcast on my Patreon. I was like. It was like, I'm a Subscriber. Similar to the. Thank you. I said, I go, if I'm to, like, make this whole vote personal on my list, one of the things on the top of the list was, like, during Trump's last thing, I would have to take days off from comedy to respect the feelings of whatever group was going through a day, you know, like, where then I would be yelled at by some person because I wasn't taking whatever the day was seriously. And I was like, again, you've affected my bottom line. If we want to make it about money, I don't want to take days off of work because of the social climate that has been created.

[V. Spear]

Grieving, right? Why is this happening, this grieve of the week?

[Jared Freed]

I think your dad and I. I are probably very similar in that set, in that sense. He's like, I just want.

[V. Spear]

He's like, I'm a great golf game. I love my wife. I don't even want to deal with this. Can't we just, like, go back to, again, the 1990s Clinton time?

[Jared Freed]

Right.

[V. Spear]

He was fine.

[Sammy Sage]

Do you want to know why we're perfect as a generation? Because that was our time. Like, we grew up in the secure, safe 90s. Stock market's going up. You have your. Your. Your liberal values, your neoliberal values are at their peak. Jews are accepted.

[V. Spear]

But we grew up also with World War II grandparents, which I think is something that, like, I've recently come to understand was incredibly impactful to me.

[Jared Freed]

Yes.

[V. Spear]

Which was like, don't be an and don't be a Nazi.

[Sammy Sage]

Like, they were very, don't be a Nazi.

[V. Spear]

We knew that they struggled either to come here, and, like, there was some sort of privilege in being an American that you didn't have to be ashamed of, that you felt like your family had somehow, like, earned this right and you were expected to be a successful American. And now, you know, they don't have that kind of, like, I really looked up to my grandmother, what they went through, and I didn't want to disappoint them.

[Sammy Sage]

They also can't speak to people. I think there's. I think because we also had. We grew up in person. Like, we grew up. No phones. Like, you had to learn how to look people in the eye, how to have a conversation with an older person, how to, like, call your friend's parents and be like, hello, may I please speak to so and so.

[V. Spear]

Write a letter.

[Sammy Sage]

Write a letter. Put a stamp on.

[Jared Freed]

Like, right? If you said, okay, boomer. They'd be like, what the fuck did.

[V. Spear]

You just Say, you know, and then as we physically punished.

[Sammy Sage]

And then as we were, like, getting older and into, like, young adulthood, we then had the Internet. So we actually know how to use the Internet, but we know that, like, there are real people on the other end that you can't just yell at them for no reason. And you seem like an asshole, and you actually have to, like, have something real to back it up in person.

[Jared Freed]

Right?

[Sammy Sage]

And, like, real relationships with people, it's.

[Jared Freed]

Funny, like, on the.

[Sammy Sage]

None of them have that.

[Jared Freed]

On the dating side of it, like, I do eye roll. These people that I like meet out at bars or, you know, in a dating sense where they're like, now they have this, like, hot. Take this, like, anti. Like, when I, like. Like you said, like, I, you know, grandparents, like, you're American. There's a little bit of, like, salute the flag. There's a little hokiness to that that I like, you know, like, and that I grew up in. And I don't really, like. I don't hate my childhood. Like, I liked growing up in a suburb. But then the hot take person you see a lot, and this is the person who has privileges just like me, who has. In their mind, they've taken the side. That's right. And then they're telling me how awful everything that I am is to my face. Like, how awful the suburbs were and how redlining was still.

[Sammy Sage]

And it is, but that doesn't mean.

[Jared Freed]

That I was sheltered and how sheltered I am. And they're saying it's in my face, and it's. It's a little insulting, but also, like.

[Sammy Sage]

Okay, so why do they need to say it? Like, you can, like, because they think it's cool.

[Jared Freed]

They think it's. They think it's an interesting point of view, and it's not.

[Sammy Sage]

But why can't, like, you both be aware that you had that. Like, that there are great things that happen then and then also that America's imperfect and has always been sort of imperfect. Like, we can. Can we hold both?

[Jared Freed]

Can we.

[V. Spear]

Part of the reason we lost men and people like my dad for a long time is that, you know, know we've talked about it. Maybe it wasn't such a great idea to say all men are trash for 15 years. He was like, I hate when you say that. I wore. I had a T shirt one time that said, feminism is the future. And my mom was like, that really hurt your brother's feelings because he really feels left out. And I was like, okay, do you think it hurts?

[Sammy Sage]

Second wave feminist I think it hurt.

[V. Spear]

Us in this election, but is this idea of like, telling someone like, my dad or my brother, you have privilege when they do, but they also both worked in factories, and my dad would, like, bring in a. I needed stuff for cheerleading, so my dad's gonna bring in a car and fix it up and make sure he makes, like, an extra couple hundred bucks so that we could pay for cheerleading stuff. And then you tell him he has privilege, and he's like, I fucking worked so hard for you to have, like, comfort. And I don't want to be ashamed of that.

[Jared Freed]

Right. It's. It's like existential, you know, like, as opposed to real. And it's like, everyone can, like, you know, I think you have. You have to have time to talk about the existential, you know, like, you.

[Sammy Sage]

Know, Rogan length podcast, and they're listening.

[V. Spear]

To it while they're at work or driving a truck or doing whatever, and they're like, man, this is my American.

[Sammy Sage]

Well, the other piece is that, like, if you. If someone said all men are trash, and then you as a, you know, just a woman having anyone having like, a conversation like, oh, I actually. I actually know some nice men who aren't trash and whatever, they.

[V. Spear]

They know. Sammy, you're a pick. Me?

[Sammy Sage]

You're a pick.

[Jared Freed]

Right, right, right.

[V. Spear]

You're not a girl's girl, Sammy.

[Jared Freed]

Right. I feel that.

[Sammy Sage]

Shut up. Everyone who's like, yes, some men are trash. Like, the culture really encourages bad behavior.

[Jared Freed]

Well, to.

[Sammy Sage]

But not everyone does it.

[Jared Freed]

When we started you up, I'll never forget it, I was doing J Train podcasts for taking emails, giving advice. You guys would come on the show, and I loved having you guys on, and we answered the emails and I always said, I was like, if we can just get. It was all men. Remember, like, when it first started. Cause men listened to podcasts before women did it. And the murder mystery podcast came out, and that's when women started getting involved with podcasts. And I remember it now. I feel like old man Jared. I remember when we started in the other office, the U up and I was like, I had been kind of like working, you know, the J Train was kind of this version of you up at first, because it was like I was kind of like working out my. My point of view, like, on dating and. And how to talk about it. I'm sure if I listen back to that, I'm like cringing as I would listen to it. But then. And. But I. At the time, it felt right. Then I remember we go On. And we did the first episode, and I'm like, I've got all my, like, lines, and I'm, like, ready to talk about dating. And then I got done, and I was like, oh, my God, these women are gonna hate me. I was like, they're gonna be, like, so mad. Cause I was just being honest. Like, I was like, I'm giving my honest perspective on dating. I never mean for it to make someone feel bad, but I do understand how people feel bad from hearing from honesty and stuff. And I'm like, fuck. And. And I gotta say, like, it's crazy over the years how small, how little negative feedback I've gotten to being honest about dating. And it's like, it was, like, refreshing. And I'm like, almost like, you know, I kind of feel badly that I, like, didn't respect the audience enough to think that, like, they could, like, take what I was, like, saying. But I think that's a lot of, like, this idea of, like, I'm gonna get in trouble. I'm gonna. Coming on you up was like. It was a revelation for me that, like, we can have a discussion. We can. You can hear about the icky take. You know, a guy is gonna be icky in the same. In a different way, that maybe women will be icky with dating. But all of it's icky, you know, like. And life is a little icky, you know?

[Sammy Sage]

Well, it's like, you're still gonna get icky rejected. Well, it's. You just don't know the icky reason, right?

[Jared Freed]

Well, that was.

[V. Spear]

That's the thing.

[Jared Freed]

Like, oh, you skipped over a puddle is a little, like, coded in old school, man. Not acting manly enough. But, like, just is, you know, like, what are you gonna do? You know, you move on to a different person who doesn't mind how you skip over a puddle. Like, you know, like.

[V. Spear]

Do you worry about being content when you're going on dates? Because I feel, like, up on my for you page. A lot of times I see women who are, like, secretly recording themselves on a bad date or go in the bathroom, and they're like, I got this guy is terrible. Or they're just. They're really spilling in a way that's, like, extremely exploitative, not fair to the other person. It's funny how it's like, poor content.

[Jared Freed]

No, you're. It's. It's flipped. In the beginning, I would go on dates and, oh, my content that people always say that to me. And I would always, like. Like, I like to think and I've made mistakes, don't get me wrong. But I like to think that I'm leaving out enough information that it's a story about me where it's a story about how I felt in a moment where something happened. And it's never meant to make that. I do understand that if someone hears me tell a story that they're involved in, they get red faced and flush and they go, oh my God. He's giving his honest opinion. Honest opinion of what happened. You know, like where you get like a softened opinion on a date.

[V. Spear]

Sure.

[Jared Freed]

And this happened once. I'll tell you the story. It was actually crazy. But now it's affected me because now I know from doing the UOP for so long, I know all the ways a guy can act badly and how that makes someone feel or not all of them, but a lot of them. And every time I've answered a question, it's like what I have done or what I would do. So like I've been every guy in all these situations. So like now I'm seeing like when I'm like going towards the road of like I'm texting less and I'm like, what is this person thinking of me? And then you see these videos on TikTok where it's like story time. I went out with so and so and he did that. And I'm like, that does weigh on you a little bit. Cause like again, like, I think that's.

[Sammy Sage]

Really been a hindrance for you. It is just as a listener of you up and, you know, talking to you is that I do feel like it's hard for you. Like I feel, I, I feel the lack of trust that you have in the public. And I don't blame you because it's like.

[Jared Freed]

And I don't want to be that. I, I don't want to. It's. It's a little paranoia.

[Sammy Sage]

No, it's not though.

[V. Spear]

I think it's pretty legit because we hear about it. Tick Tockers who are like, I wish I knew that being popular on Tick Tock would mean no one would ever truly love me because they're either dating me for content and to like get some sort of dirt on your favorite tiktoker or they, they only like me because they think I could like boost their profile or there's some sort of like, you know, menagerie to it.

[Jared Freed]

I've never had that. And it's more that I, I guess my nervousness comes from. I always feel like he was an.

[Sammy Sage]

To me.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah, he, he yeah, he was an to me. He was an to me. And. And because I. I don't think I'm an. I do think that someone out there is like, this piece of. Jared gives dating advice. Him.

[Sammy Sage]

But also, like, I'm sure every man. Like, I think most many women, when it doesn't continue going the way they want it to, you can say to yourself, oh, he was kind of an asshole. You can look for things that were asshole.

[Jared Freed]

Ish.

[Shopify Representative]

Sure.

[Sammy Sage]

And you can convince yourself they were an asshole. And all you need is one, like, person who's gonna be like, I don't really care about the consequences and I will embellish because honestly. Well, there's three people literally lie about interviews that they did here. Lie.

[Jared Freed]

There's three sides to every story. And that's an old saying. There's three sides. Your side, my side, and the truth somewhere in the middle. So, like, I do understand that. But like, again, like, that goes back to the VR, like, being. You have to act as if you know that it's not real. But I think the bigger concern for me is, and I had this happen when I ended a relationship that was like a long term relationship, is that I include everything in my life. Like, I talk about everything. So, like, if I include someone that I'm dating in my life, they're getting included in my social media and my podcasts and stories that I would tell. Well, that I have a fear of going. That's been the reoccurring thing of, like, taking the next step towards. They are somehow brought into a reality that they didn't sign up for, but they did sign up for it. But, you know, I don't think that's.

[V. Spear]

Why we keep Avi and Natalie out of shit. Because I gotta go home, and I want to go home and just be Natalie's wife. I don't want to go home and be like, all right, babe, we gotta make contact.

[Jared Freed]

If you and Natalie broke up ever, you know, God forbid, you'd have.

[V. Spear]

It'd be crazy.

[Jared Freed]

It's a whole nother dimension.

[V. Spear]

Yeah.

[Sammy Sage]

It's like, oh, what were you lying about before? Was everything like, oh, you tell us.

[Jared Freed]

And it's not even that you don't trust Natalie to, like, not. It's just what people go on their.

[V. Spear]

Own will come after you like crazy.

[Jared Freed]

I once went on a date and I'm talking about this again because I've already talked to them about it. They brought out a picture of someone they thought I looked like, and I was like, oh, that's the Worst, Right? And I go, never tell me I.

[V. Spear]

Look like somebody else.

[Jared Freed]

I don't want to hear it.

[V. Spear]

No, it's never good. It's never flattering.

[Jared Freed]

In her defense, she was like, you have the same vibe and you kind of look like. And I look. I can't even go into it.

[V. Spear]

Jared, you have to tell us.

[Jared Freed]

I'll show you.

[Sammy Sage]

Gerard Butler.

[Jared Freed]

No, no, no. It was. It was like their friend. I go, this is like. I go. And in my. So I thought it was a great red flag deal breaker. Because I'm like, I can go on the podcast and be like, red flag deal breaker. And I have a story to go with it.

[Sammy Sage]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

So we do it and we discuss it, and I try to discuss it in the most 360 degree way where I'm like, listen. He could look at a picture of me and think, like, that guy. Like, in the same way that I was like, no one wants to hear who they look like.

[V. Spear]

No.

[Jared Freed]

Except if you're, you know, Timothy Chalamet, you're showing up to the Timothee Chalamet lookalike contest, so.

[Sammy Sage]

Which is you're about to win $500.

[V. Spear]

But those are fun reasons.

[Sammy Sage]

What is wrong with show me a.

[V. Spear]

Picture of someone I look like. Because it's gonna be Rosie O'Donnell or Rachel Maddow or any other lesbian with short hair, and I don't look like them at all.

[Jared Freed]

You know the hits every time. And you know that. That sometimes someone's doing it to bring it down a notch. And. And I do sometimes.

[V. Spear]

And sometimes they're genuinely.

[Sammy Sage]

I've never told someone that they look like someone to bring them down a notch, I believe.

[V. Spear]

So she shows you a picture of her friend and is like, you have.

[Jared Freed]

Friends, like this guy.

[V. Spear]

This is like.

[Jared Freed]

And I'm like, on a date. And I'm like, ugh, Now I don't even like her taste.

[V. Spear]

Can't trust you.

[Jared Freed]

She likes me.

[V. Spear]

Run into this guy.

[Jared Freed]

So then, like, months go by and I'm at a bar and like, she's like, so and so isn't ugly. And I'm like, what? And she's like, I listen to the podcast and that guy is not. I go, I didn't say he's ugly. I said, I don't think it's fun to be told who you look like on a date. And now we're like, doing red flag deal breaker, her and I in real life. And she goes, it was so funny because she was with a friend who was kind of drunk, and it was like the most annoying scenario because she's going, if I said, you look like Brad Pitt, you wouldn't care. I go, I don't look like Brad Pitt. And I go, also, you guys got it. Everyone has decided he's good looking. Like, we don't have to. Like, that's enough said. And then the friend who's a little drunk goes, it wasn't a match. It wasn't a match. And I'm like, I'm just like yelling.

[V. Spear]

At her all the time.

[Jared Freed]

It wasn't.

[V. Spear]

You guys didn't match the way it did.

[Jared Freed]

It wasn't a match. Well, this is why I feel so lonely. Like, I would say as like, if you want to reduce me to a group, the straight white males, like the loneliness educated male, college straight, white, college educated men. What does the loneliness come from? Well, you're either with. You either sign up for the right and they go, come one, come all, or you sign up for the left and you're kind of told, like, shut the fuck up.

[V. Spear]

And you're a cuck.

[Jared Freed]

You're lucky you're here and you're a cuck by the other people, your friends who went the other way.

[V. Spear]

Way.

[Jared Freed]

And. And so you're a. By one group and you're a.

[Sammy Sage]

A privileged.

[Jared Freed]

Like, and. And it's like I told you with the special, like, something I am proud of. And I don't. I'm not. Yeah. I'll pat myself on the back when I go on the road. I bring female comics and I. I think it's a better show. So I'm doing that for me. I'm not doing that. And again, what makes a better show for me, having a female comic open, it's a well, more well rounded show. The audience it gets. You get all pieces of comedy. I think that and the fact that every woman that opens my shows, they are like, love your audience. It's an audience that they don't get to see a lot.

[V. Spear]

Jared, you are such a delight after spending an hour with a straight, white, college educated man. I'm feeling personally just more confident.

[Jared Freed]

You feel better?

[V. Spear]

Yeah, I'm gonna be more resilient in this year. I hope we get to spend more time together.

[Jared Freed]

I hope so too.

[V. Spear]

This is a fantastic.

[Sammy Sage]

You guys don't deserve the. The you get.

[V. Spear]

It's a lot. Me and Sammy are gonna rename the show American Fever Dream. We're just gonna be called the Pick Girls. Yeah, the Pick Me Girls. Who?

[Jared Freed]

You should call it the Joe Rogan podcast.

[V. Spear]

Oh, my God, the Joan Rogan Podcast.

[Jared Freed]

That's gonna be an improv there. There's no question.

[V. Spear]

We start that show Joan Rogan.

[Jared Freed]

Joan Rogan, like all female improv.

[V. Spear]

Yes. Full, like NASCAR level sponsorship outfits and just talk about nothing.

[Sammy Sage]

We should just start that show.

[V. Spear]

Yeah. They said true. And we'll be like, I don't care. I had fun.

[Jared Freed]

It.

[V. Spear]

But that's. Look it up.

[Jared Freed]

Look. Google it. Right. My friend Adam Ray, he's actually doing an impression of Dr. Phil. Have you seen this? It's on Netflix. They made a special out of. It's him interviewing Dr. Phil dressed as Dr. Phil. It's very funny. He's very funny. He's very talented. But that makes me think of it.

[V. Spear]

Like Joan Rogan, where they can find.

[Jared Freed]

You at Jared Freed on all platforms except for Tick Tock, where I'm the wizard of Haas. And that's it. Yeah. The UW podcast. Go listen. And also the special we're taping again and December 7th. December 7th, Tarrytown. You gotta come.

[V. Spear]

It'll be coming out soon.

[Sammy Sage]

It's so fucking funny. I saw it like a year ago maybe, and I did not stop laughing.

[Jared Freed]

Thank you. Yeah. It's all personal stories about going to the beach with my parents, so I'm proud of it.

[Sammy Sage]

Personal but universal.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think.

[Sammy Sage]

Yeah. Not just Jared at the beach of this parish.

[Jared Freed]

No. But everyone can understand. So thank you. So great to meet you in person. Yeah.

[V. Spear]

Great to have you. Thanks for being here. Until next time. I'm Vitasphere.

[Sammy Sage]

I'm Sam. Tammy Sage.

[V. Spear]

And this is American Fever Dream.

[Sammy Sage]

Good night. American Fever Dream is produced and edited by Samantha Gatsick social media by Candice Miniga and Bridget Schwartz. Be sure to follow us on Instagram and TikTok etchesnews and follow me Sammy Sage at Sammy and the Desk News. And of course, send us your emails to American Fever Dreamches.com.