Slate Presents: Lockdown

Summary

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Amicus With Dahlia Lithwick | Slate Presents: Lockdown

Episode Air Date: December 18, 2019
Episode Theme:
Living through the Era of School Shootings, One Drill at a Time
A collaborative audio special from Slate and The Trace, hosted by Dahlia Lithwick, delves into the lived experiences of American students as they perform lockdown and active shooter drills—a now-routine part of K-12 life across the United States. Through raw, first-hand student testimony, the episode explores the emotional, psychological, and practical toll of “the era of school shootings,” told almost entirely in the voices of the children themselves.

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Episode Overview

• Purpose:
  To illuminate the real, often unnoticed impact of routine active shooter drills on children—from kindergarten to high school senior—across America. The episode draws on reporting by Elizabeth Van Brocklin and Alon Stevens, who interviewed two dozen students in cities and towns nationwide.
• Approach:
  The podcast bypasses adult analysis to foreground kids’ voices, aiming for unfiltered honesty about their experiences and fears.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The New Normal: Growing Up with Lockdown Drills

• Lockdown drills are universal: Students of all ages and geographies now expect active shooter drills as a standard part of schooling.

• Students are acutely aware: Despite euphemisms, children of all ages understand the reason for these drills—school shootings.

  “This is a generation that has grown up doing lockdown drills. Most of these kids know exactly what the drills are for, whether we adults realize it or not.”
  —Elizabeth Van Brocklin, reporter, The Trace [01:06]

2. The Youngest Voices: Innocence Collides with Fear

• Kindergarten experience (Leo, Louisville, KY):
  • Describes the surreal blend of fear and play during drills—hiding in a crowded closet, worrying about a “stranger” (ultimately the principal in disguise), and interpreting the threat through his imagination.
  • Notable quote:

    “We hide in the back room or the closet. And it’s very crowded. My friends were playing…Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot. And I was like, no, I know there’s still someone out there.”
    —Leo [03:38]

• The confusion of explanations: Teachers sometimes use metaphors about wild animals instead of guns, but students quickly sense the reality.

3. Routine Disruptions and Physical Preparation

• Where kids are when drills happen:
  Whether in gym, physics, or English class, the abrupt shift from normalcy (“thinking about calculus” one moment, “how I would escape if there was someone with a gun” the next) is jarring.
  —[04:39–05:10]

• Physical logistics:
  Tactics range from staying silent and out of sight, to being prepared to throw objects or barricade doors.

  • Patterned behavior: “Lock, lights out of sight.” [10:47]
  • Cramped, dark conditions, students pressed together trying to remain undetected.
  • Coping: Kids play games (e.g., patty cake, “shotgun”) to pass the time and distract themselves from fear.

4. Emotional Repercussions: Chronic Anxiety and Coping Mechanisms

• Real physical fear:

  • Students recount panic attacks (Kennedy, Baltimore: “he started breathing heavily, he had started crying, and everyone was really worried about him”—[08:54]).
  • Kids worry about being too loud, accidentally giving away their hiding spot.

• Anxiety and hyper-vigilance:

  • Some restrict water intake to avoid being caught in the bathroom during a lockdown (Phoebe, South Orange NJ:

    “If I stop drinking water, then I won’t have to use the bathroom...I started to get super bad headaches because I was dehydrated.” [08:27])

  • A sense of “never knowing” when or if the drills could become reality.

• Desensitization and Detachment (especially among older students):

  • High school students describe learning to detach, shifting focus from fear to strategy:

    “I became more used to just thinking, what is the best course of action to save myself?”
    —Margo, 12th grade, Baltimore [19:50]

  • Some find bizarre humor or fatalism (“Maybe nobody at my school feels the same way. You still talk with your friends, you still have fun…and it’s a strange experience.” —Macy, 8th grade, South Orange, NJ [14:34])

5. The Mechanics and Ethics of "Countermeasures"

• Active defense:
  • Schools sometimes teach students to grab objects (scissors, textbooks, even pencils) in order to “counter” attackers, e.g., ALICE protocol:

    “If someone were to come at you, you either throw it at them to slow it down, or…just whack them in the head with it….[But] I don’t think any of these are really gonna work if you’re against a rifle.”
    —Colin, 6th grade, LA County [12:43]

  • Skepticism and dark humor: Acknowledgment that such objects are no match against firearms, but it’s all that’s available.
  • Students often left to their own improvisations—discussing “what would you do?” in each classroom.

6. The Aftermath: Emotional State and Societal Fatigue

• Mixed reactions post-drill:

  • Some students feel relief, others remain intensely anxious about future drills or an actual event.
  • Older students tend toward numbness; for some, it's “just another drill.”

• Resignation and stark honesty:

  • Acknowledgment that, even with preparation, “if somebody really, really wanted to hurt us, they’re going to do it.”
    —Sharnita, 12th grade, Baltimore [21:35]
  • “The shootings aren’t just gonna stop. They’re gonna keep happening.”
    —Anonymous student [22:54]

• Roiling frustration for normalcy stolen:

  “I want to be thinking about my science test…I don’t want to be thinking about how can I best hide from a shooter.”
  —Satchell, Louisville, KY [23:12]

  • “Kindergarteners have to be practicing for, like, a shooter coming to the school when, like, you don’t—we shouldn’t have to.”
    —Margo, Baltimore [23:20]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker / Context | Quote / Highlight | |-------------|------------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:06 | Elizabeth Van Brocklin | “This is a generation that has grown up doing lockdown drills. Most of these kids know exactly what the drills are for, whether we adults realize it or not.” | | 03:38 | Leo (Kindergarten, Louisville)| “My friends were playing…Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot. And I was like, no, I know there’s still someone out there.” | | 08:27 | Phoebe, 5th grade, NJ | “If I stop drinking water, then I won’t have to use the bathroom...I started to get super bad headaches because I was dehydrated.” | | 08:54 | Kennedy, Baltimore | “One kid…thought it was real. So he had, like, a panic attack. He started breathing heavily, he had started crying, and everyone was really worried about him.” | | 10:47 | Student chorus | “Lock, lights out of sight.” | | 12:43 | Colin, 6th grade, LA County | “If someone were to come at you, you either throw it at them to slow it down, or…just whack them in the head with it….[But] I don’t think any of these are really gonna work if you’re against a rifle.” | | 14:34 | Macy, 8th grade, NJ | “I could go to school and I could die. Pick a day of the week, take a calendar and throw a dart at the calendar. I could die on that day….But you still talk with your friends and…complain about your math homework.” | | 19:50 | Margo, 12th grade, Baltimore | “I became more used to just thinking, like, what is the best course of action to save myself?” | | 21:35 | Sharnita, 12th grade, Baltimore | “If somebody really, really wanted to hurt somebody…they’re going to do it. There’s nothing you can do to stop somebody from hurting somebody….you can lock the door, but if he really want to get in, he can find a way to get in.” | | 22:54 | Anonymous student | “The shootings aren’t just gonna stop, they’re gonna keep happening….if the shooting actually comes, sometimes there’s nothing you can do about it.” | | 23:12 | Satchell, Louisville, KY | “I want to be…thinking about my science test. I don’t want to be thinking about how can I best hide from a shooter.” | | 23:20 | Margo, Baltimore | “Kindergarteners have to be practicing for, like, a shooter coming to the school when, like, you don’t, we shouldn’t have to.” |

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Important Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:00–01:06]: Introduction, context of the project (by Dahlia Lithwick and Elizabeth Van Brocklin)
• [02:24–04:39]: Kindergarteners’ experience—innocence, fear, imagination
• [04:40–06:27]: What kids were doing when drills begin; elementary school perspectives
• [08:27–09:57]: Health impacts, panic, and fear; coping strategies (water intake, panic attacks)
• [10:47–12:43]: Details of physical preparation, countermeasures, group tactics
• [14:34–16:47]: Move to middle and high school—existential fear, normalization, fatalism
• [19:13–23:20]: High schooler reflections—strategizing, numbness, frustration, resignation

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Tone & Atmosphere

The tone is frank, personal, and deeply empathetic to the students’ perspectives—heartbreaking yet matter-of-fact, with moments of dark humor and candor. Adult voices are sparse; most of the episode is in the voices of children and teenagers, creating an unmistakable immediacy and poignancy.

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Final Reflections

"Slate Presents: Lockdown" immerses listeners in a world where school drills for mass shootings are as commonplace as fire or tornado drills, reshaping the mental landscape of an entire generation. In their own words, students name the exhaustion, anxiety, and adaptation forced upon them—and expose the gap between adult intentions and children’s lived reality.

For further reading and context, visit: slate.com/lockdown

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Transcript

[A]

Hi, this is Dalia Lithwick, and I am here to tell you about a special project that we've been working on here at Slate, and we want to share it with our amicus listeners, too. By now, we're all aware, I think, that students across the United States learn to do lockdown drills. That's just a part of going to school today. What we may be less aware of, or frankly haven't really wanted to think about much, is how these drills are affecting the millions of kids who do them and then do them and do them from kindergarten through 12th grade. Well, you're about to find out. This special audio story from Slate and the Trace is titled Living through the Era of School Shootings. One Drill at a Time.

[B]

I am in kindergarten, first grade, second.

[C]

Grade, sixth grade, eighth grade, ninth grade.

[A]

I'm in the 10th grade.

[D]

I'm in 12th grade.

[E]

And I live in San Diego, California.

[F]

Metuchen, New Jersey, in Louisville, Kentucky, Baltimore.

[B]

City, LA County, South Orange, New Jersey.

[A]

I live in Seattle, Washington.

[G]

I'm Elizabeth Van Brocklin. I've been covering gun violence as a reporter for the Trace for four years. And for the past couple of months in partnership with Slate, my colleague Alon Stevens and I have interviewed two dozen students of all ages in towns and cities across the country. We wanted to know what they see, what they hear, and what they feel during what has become a routine experience in America. The school shooter drill. As I listened to these kids in their living rooms and bedrooms, two things struck me. First, this is a generation that has grown up doing lockdown drills. Second, most of these kids know exactly what the drills are for, whether we adults realize it or not. Before I had these conversations, I didn't really understand how the constant threat of shootings has changed the experience of going to school. You're about to hear from some of the kids we spoke to, from kindergarteners through high school seniors, you'll hear about the many different ways these drills affect nearly every student in the country.

[B]

I call it usually the flip picture.

[G]

What can you see in this?

[B]

Of tree frog. Now I can see a monkey. Now can see a puffin. Now I can see a pyro. Hi, my name is Leo. I am in kindergarten and I live in Louisville. I can see a butterfly. I do intruder trails. You lock little doors and everyone's in a hiding in a certain place of the room with little teachers. And we usually have a security camera to show like if there's actually a real stranger in the building. And last week there was a real stranger in the Building. And I got a feeling stuck in my head. I was thinking if we were gonna be okay, because, like, the stranger was literally just outside the door of our classroom. And it was actually just our principal dressed in stranger clothes. I saw her wearing, like, a boy wig with her hair. Nippon. And I thought it was kind of scary because I didn't know who her true self was. So, like, we hide it in the back room or the closet. And it's very crowded. My friends were playing a couple games at Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot. And I was like, no, I know there's still someone out there, but they don't believe me. So one of my best friends, my best, best best friends said that they believed in me. There's a window in the closet, and outside the window was pigeons. They were, like, hanging off of the tree. They looked a little ghoulish and a little gobliny. And we were afraid at first. Then we peeked out the window and saw that it was just pigeons. Shadows. I didn't choose a draw in case a real stranger, not my principal, a real stranger is in the building. Now I can see a tiger. Now I can see a gorilla. I can see a cheetah.

[F]

So I was in gym.

[D]

I think I was in physics class.

[A]

We were doing math in our textbooks. Like, he had a problem on the board.

[F]

I was playing with Legos at free choice.

[B]

We were learning some math.

[F]

I was in my English classroom, Language.

[A]

Arts, biology, chemistry class, social studies.

[E]

I just remember it being a very weird shift from thinking about calculus to thinking about how I would escape if there was someone with a gun in my school.

[F]

My name is Foster. I live in Seattle. I am in first grade.

[B]

I am awesome. We first did a lockdown drill last year in kindergarten.

[F]

So how the teacher explained it, she was thinking, like, if a wild animal came and we hid in the bathroom, if it was a mouse or something.

[B]

We probably wouldn't have to do that. But if it was a zebra lion.

[F]

Or something, I wasn't talking.

[B]

And a lot of people were because.

[F]

They were squished, but I wasn't.

[A]

The bathroom is total boring.

[B]

And stinky.

[F]

Why we would do the lockdown drill, because if a wild animal or a robber or something came barging in, we do something about it and we don't get killed by the animal. But I don't know. It didn't happen last year, and I don't think it's gonna happen this year.

[B]

A wild animal barging in.

[F]

I mean.

[B]

I mean, having a lockdown drill, there's.

[F]

Definitely gonna be at Least one lockdown drill.

[B]

When I was younger, we lived in New York, and I went to a charter school, and I would walk there with my dad every morning. And every Wednesday would be a half day. So, like, we got to go to a pizzeria and get icees. So, yeah, that was fun. My name is Phoebe. I'm in fifth grade, and I live in South Orange, New Jersey. When I was in first grade, when I lived in New York, I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom. So I walked into the bathroom and I went in one of the stalls. This is a code red lockdown, Jill. Please stay wherever you are. I repeat, this is a code red lockdown drill. I was, like, so scared, so I stood on top of the toilet. But then I remembered, oh, wait, my teacher told me this year to sit on the toilet and put my feet up. And then last year, my teacher told me to stand on the toilet, so I was like, wait, what do I do? And then I hear, like, footsteps outside, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, is someone coming? And I tried to, like, stay as quiet as I could be. Click, clack, click, clack, footsteps. And then I heard, like, the shifting of the, like, doorknob. It's the vice principal. If there's anybody in here, you can come out of the bathroom and come with me to the main office. Should I trust them? I just walked out of the stall, and I was so relieved until, like, I went into the main office with her. But now in fourth grade, we had, like, three in one week. So, like, I just remembered that I, like, got stuck in the bathroom and, like, how I felt it was, like, really scary. And I didn't want that to happen. So, like, I thought, oh, you have to drink water and then you have to use the bathroom. So, like, if I stop drinking water, then I won't have to use the bathroom. And thinking, like, okay, I gotta be prepared. What if it happens, like, now or now? So, like, I just can't drink water? Like, that was, like, a dumb mistake because I started to get, like, super bad headaches because I was dehydrated.

[A]

My name is Kennedy. I'm in fifth grade and I live in Baltimore City. One kid, he was kind of worried and thought it was real. So he had, like, a panic attack. He started breathing heavily. He had started crying, and everyone was really worried about him. So then we had waited for, like, a few minutes, and then everyone started to calm him down. Like, it's okay, it's okay. It's just fake. It's just practice. So I think he felt better after that. My name is Karina. I'm in fifth grade, and I live in Baltimore City. They didn't really say if it was a drill or not. They just said, cold, red, cold red. And then everybody was acting, like, all goofy and playing in my head. I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, what if this was real? Like, we all would have got killed because y' all not cooperating and y' all not listening. We all want to die if they don't set up. I was behind my teacher's desk, scared, crunched up with my head and my legs about to cry.

[F]

Like this.

[A]

I was just looking into my legs because I have nothing else to do. I mean, I would have closed my eyes, but then that probably would have made it scary for me. Well, even more scary because I was already scared. The principal on the intercom said that lockdown was over. I just. I felt relieved and unstressed, and I was so happy because it wasn't a real one. Had that not been, like, a fake lockdown drill, we would have been in first classroom for the active shooter, whether they had a lock pick or not. Because they could have opened the door with whatever weapon they had, and they could have killed us all because they would have heard our classroom as the first noise. Cause everybody was making so much noise.

[B]

Lock lights out of sight.

[F]

The best place you want to be is in a corner.

[H]

Most of my classes, I sit up front so I would be more safe.

[D]

Everybody tried to get to one side of the door and try to get under their desk.

[A]

We were all sitting under the sink.

[F]

Oh, and it was also dark because you lock the doors and you turn off the lights. There were basically people on all sides of me.

[B]

Sometimes if you lean your head, you can feel the other person's hair. It's so close.

[A]

I felt like I was like a little porcupine or like a little hedgehog rolling up, trying to protect myself from the enemy.

[B]

Sometimes I, like, close my eyes and I remember a TV show and, like, an episode of it, and I just, like, re watch it in my mind.

[H]

You know, you just gotta kill the time.

[A]

Kids were either playing games like chopsticks.

[F]

Patty cake, rock, paper, scissors, do bunny ears on the person in front of them. They also play a game called shotgun during lockdown drills a lot.

[A]

Load your gun or shoot your gu. Shield it. And if you shoot them while they're loading, you win. My name is Alden. I'm in sixth grade, and I live in Seattle, Washington. We knew there was a lockdown drill that day, but we didn't know what time because our teacher didn't tell us. And they announced that it was a lockdown drill. And I always think this during a lockdown drill, why do they announce it? Like, will they really announce it when someone's in the school? Because then they'll know that we're all hiding. I've been doing lockdown drills since I was in around first grade. Now I really get it. At first I didn't really get it. When I heard about the first school shooting, I'm like, wow, that's why we do lockdown drills. We get the Seattle Times every morning. So it was on the front page of Seattle Times. And I asked my parents, like, what happened? And they told me that it's a very sad story stuff.

[C]

My name is Colin and I'm in sixth grade and I live in LA County. It wasn't too bad. They just said like, if an active shooter went on, you're supposed to grab kind of a blunt object to protect yourself with it. If someone were to come at you, you either throw it at them to slow it down, or if you are close to them, you just whack them in the head with it. And then if you were to grab a pencil, it's pretty self explanatory, just stab. The principal came on, there's an active shooter. We are on full lockdown. And then we locked all the doors, pushed all the dust against it, grabbed like a textbook or scissors, you know, the stereotypical school scissors. People had pencils. And I was like, I don't think any of these are really gonna work if you're against a rifle. I'm just kind of seeing people like being completely still and everyone's being super silent, which is kind of odd to see in a classroom. One of my friends was kind of across the room. We were kind of just like exchanging glances, kind of shrugging, like, well, we're doing it. We kind of were there for a good few minutes and then came on the speaker again, said, the drill is over. Go back to your normal schedules. Get ready to go to lunch. My mom made me a sandwich and I was kind of just eating it and talking to my friends. We were like, wow, that was so crazy. What did you carry? And things like, where were you in the classroom? We had a new kid in our grade and he was kind of like, do you guys do this every year? I was like, no, this is the first time we've done it. And he was kind of like, oh, that's kind of weird. I wonder why they're doing it now. And I was like, yeah, I think it's because the increase in frequency in the shootings.

[F]

Hi, I'm Macy. I'm in eighth grade, and I live in South Orange, New Jersey. It goes, this is a lockdown red alert. This is a lockdown red alert. And they didn't say that like, hey, this is a drill. We're just testing to make sure you do the right thing. It was just like, we're gonna make you think that you're in a life or death situation. I was freaking out. I was genuinely not sure if I would finish the day alive. There wasn't anything I could do to fix that. I mean, I don't know. Maybe this is, like, a super common feeling, or maybe nobody at my school feels the same way. And it's hard to tell because people don't talk about it much. It has this weird feeling of I could go to school and I could die. Pick a day of the week, take a calendar and throw a dart at the calendar. I could die on that day. But you still talk with your friends and you still have fun, and you still complain about your math homework. And it's such a strange experience. That shifted for me because I'd never been that terrified from my life before. And it's a really strange shift. I guess.

[C]

I wouldn't hide.

[F]

I would run or fight.

[E]

Lockdown. Basically, we were just sitting ducks, and we were just staying in our classroom and hoping that no one came in.

[F]

You run in, like, a zigzag pattern. If, like, you're running away from someone with a gun. Oh, you're also supposed to spread out so we're not clumped together.

[D]

Take a belt and wrap it around the handle of the door. And then someone would hold it, lock.

[E]

The door, tie it with a shoelace, and then also prepare a counter in case that doesn't work.

[F]

And then we, like, got behind desks.

[B]

And got something ready to throw heavy blocks.

[A]

There's, like, spheres and rectangles and triangles because that's the heaviest thing actual pair.

[C]

Of scissors might work for, like, if you're close to them, but, like, for long distance, maybe, like, a bin so you can, like, chuck it at them and maybe trip someone.

[F]

In all my classes, I just think.

[H]

About what I would do in my chemistry class. Someone said that if there were a shooter, we could splash them in the eyes with some of the chemicals.

[F]

We were kind of, like, joking around. Like, we were gonna take our water bottles and just stand by the door.

[D]

And, like, hit them on the head or something.

[F]

But, like, not really, seriously. Throw computer. You could throw water bottles, like throw chairs. Just anything to keep you safe, I guess.

[H]

I'm Satchell. I'm a sophomore in Louisville, Kentucky. I don't remember when I. The first year I started doing drills. I remember it was certainly in elementary school, because I remember that in middle school and high school, they told us why we were really doing the drills. And I remember being a little upset because we'd been lied to in elementary school. They said that the purpose of the drills was to trick the intruder or shooter or dangerous person or whatever euphemism they use. Trick that person into thinking that the whole school was on a field trip. And then in middle and high school, they told us that it was just to make it harder for intruders to find and kill us. We do one a year, and it's at the same day when we do the fire drills and the tornado drills and the earthquake drills. We get all the natural disaster drills and then the school shooter drill. Throughout the day, after the shooter drills, the days after, many teachers talk about what we would do for their specific classroom if there were a shooter in the class we were in. My European history teacher said, well, if there's a shooter, I'd be so mad, I'd just go smack him. And you'd all jump out this window and run down to University of Louisville. Very helpful. But he talked about how we were on the first floor so that we. In that classroom, we might be the first ones. First ones to be shot. I'm not personally scared for my safety about it, but it's still disturbing. We all think about what we would do because it means it will be some school somewhere.

[E]

My name is Margo. I live in Baltimore, Maryland, and I'm in 12th grade. We have two different kinds of drills, basically, for an armed intruder, which would be lockdown, and alice, which is basically do whatever you can. ALICE is an acronym for alert, lockdown, inform, counter, and evacuate. We can alert people, we can evacuate. And we can even counter, basically, is what they're telling us is that we have permission and that we're encouraged to counter a shooter. And if given the opportunity. It was very practical. Like, I think we all kind of had to detach ourselves. I became more used to just thinking, like, what is the best course of action to, like, save myself? Like, if I were in the situation. Generally when I'm in a room with a window, I think about. Because with running, there's always the risk that you run into the shooter. And then with staying in lockdown, there's the risk of becoming a sitting duck. And so for me, that seems like the best approach. So that's usually what I would go with in a drill. Obviously, we're not breaking windows. Every time we have a drill, countering always comes up. Some people have some fun with it because they're like, okay, what can I throw at this person? And to some extent it's kind of just being ridiculous because a water bottle isn't going to be a fair match against an AR15. And we all kind of know that, but we're also being serious at the same time because it's kind of all we have. I maybe think about this a little bit too much, but I think a lot of high schoolers are thinking about this a little too much.

[D]

My name is Sharnita. I'm in 12th grade. I live in Baltimore City. I think I was in physics class actually. And that's kind of like a lab set up. So tables are long, lots of cabinets, you know, sinks on top of the desks. And basically like some kids hid in the cabinets that they could fit in them. I've never felt unsafe in school, but still it's just thinking about, like, it's really scary how at other schools this drill was very real. And it could be very real for us. Like, I'm okay right now and I'm safe right now. But your mind get to wander and you start thinking things and then I am a very nervous and anxious child. Also have a big imagination, especially for somebody my age. You would think it wouldn't be as.

[B]

Big as it is.

[D]

So in my mind I can just imagine, like, what if somebody comes in the classroom, they decide like, oh, I know it's kids in that cabinet and it open that cabinet and my friends are in there now I don't have friends anymore. I know it probably sounds really weird because I can be very aware that nothing's wrong gonna happen, but I still can just imagine, like the bad things happening. I know, like if somebody really, really wanted to hurt somebody or us, they're going to do it. There's nothing you can do to stop somebody from hurting somebody. And that's just a fact. You can lock the door, but if he really want to get in, he can find a way to get in. What if the cops don't get there fast enough? That happens. If he really want to kill all of us, he can, but that's just. That's just being Blind, honest. All we can do is do drills and try to protect ourselves. Or if you come to clarison, we can try to run, or teachers can try to protect kids. But a lot of the times people come in to do mass large amounts of damage. They're going to bring a gun. And what can anybody do against a gun?

[H]

I don't feel anything in particular. It's just a. Another drill for me.

[B]

We're, like, pretty calm about it because we do it a lot.

[F]

The shootings aren't just gonna stop, they're gonna keep happening. It's making it safer for the people that, like, are ready for it. But then if the shooting actually comes, like, sometimes there's nothing you can do about it. I only think about it at school. I don't know why.

[H]

Like, I want to be like, okay, I hope I finish the Spanish assessment. I hope I do well on my science test. I don't want to be thinking about.

[F]

How can I best hide from a shooter.

[E]

Kindergarteners have to be practicing for, like, a shooter coming to the school when, like, you don't. We shouldn't have to.

[F]

At first I was, like, scared, and then I was kind of not, like, comfy, but, like, I got this and.

[B]

I was just hoping it wasn't real. I was just hoping it was the principal who was coming. Not like, anybody that was, like, gonna kill me.

[G]

This story is a collaboration of Slate and the Trace. It was reported by me, Elizabeth Van Brocklin and Elan Stevens and produced by Sarah Burningham. Our editors were Lo and Liu and Tali Woodward. Research and production assistants by Rosemary Bellson. Mixing by Benjamin Frisch, photography by Stacy Kranitz and art direction by Lisa Larson Walker. Special thanks to June Thomas, Laura Bennett, Daniel Nass, Miles Korman, Allison Benedict, and Jared Holt. Finally, we'd like to thank all the kids who shared their experiences with us and the parents who supported them. Some kids who did not want to use their real names chose to use pseudonyms. For more about these students and their experiences, go to slate.com lockdown.