← Anthony Robbins - Get the edge
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Well, you made it Session number seven in this marathon of personal transformation. Seriously, I want to congratulate you. I talked about earlier on so few people ever follow through. And for you to be here on the seventh tape, assuming you didn't jump here first, says to me that you really have made some quality changes in your life or at least begun the journey. And I want to thank you for letting me have the opportunity to be with you. So let's recap. What have we talked about? We've talked about what's missing. Missing is time with ourselves, time to think, time to connect. And we've talked about creating that hour of power or the 30 minutes to thrive or at least 15 minutes of fulfillment. And I hope if you don't start with the hour, you'll move up to it quickly. We've talked about being able to change anything in your life by being honest with yourself and doing that results workshop where you flat take action and change anything, not settling for less than you can be ever again. We've talked about the purpose of relationships and how to really define where you are and how to transform it to the next level and how to make the decisions that might be necessary to have what you really deserve. We've gone through the power of emotion, discovering which emotions are designed to call you to action and how to use even what you used to think of as negative emotions to really serve yourself. Because emotions are the basis of life. We've gone through your physical body and figured out how to increase your energy by understanding, alkalizing and energizing your system. And of course we've talked about money, how to create that lifelong abundance that you really deserve that can free you up. But in the end, the most important thing is what's the purpose of your life? Why are you here? That's what we want to talk about today. We got to look at what makes you really do what you do. Everything on earth has a purpose and you do too. That purpose Provides an inner drive that, once you tap into it, can give your life immense fulfillment. It'll also give you certainty because, you know, right now we're in a world that's changing so rapidly that virtually every time you turn around, you hear about something else that's changing. And I personally get to deal with hundreds of thousands of people per year. I see about 250 to 300,000 people a year in my live programs. And I hear so much excitement, and I also hear so much fear about the pace of change. I mean, we've all talked about changes happening so rapidly now and paradigm shifts. All that stuff has become so overused at this point that we become numb to it. But it's true. Never in the history of the world have things changed so rapidly. So you need to find something that's eternal inside of yourself, that no matter what changes on the surface, this part of you does not change. It's the part you come back to, the part that guides you, the part that really makes you fulfilled, and that's your purpose. Because all of a sudden, when you find out a friend's got cancer, or you turn around and you see that 35,000 people at IBM got laid off, or an entire industry disappeared overnight because a new one was created, you. It'll give you a way to find some good in virtually anything. Your purpose is available to you at any moment in your life. But you got to know what it is before we get into it. Let me back up a little bit here, okay? I have a good friend who's one of the most successful financial people in the country. He works in all these financial markets. He's an incredibly successful businessman. And I know he's working very hard right now on a goal. And I went to visit him recently, and, boy, he's working hard, and he's going to achieve that goal. But, you know, when the goal is finally there, then he's going to be happy. I thought, no, no, no, no. You know, each moment we've got to be able to find some sense of meaning for our lives. Something that is significant, something that is useful. And we all know this is not a new conversation. But as your coach and as your friend in these tapes, I'd like to draw your attention to some things that maybe you already know but haven't thought about for a while. Maybe get you to put some of your focus into the most important area of life, which is enhancing meaning. Enhance. See, all of us in life have to have a reason to be here. If all you're doing out there is going out and trying to achieve goals, and then you achieve them. Then I'm sure you've run into that trip up wire that says, okay, I've achieved the goal and now what? Right? You achieve the goal and your brain says, is this all there is? See, the purpose of a goal, as I've shared with you so many times, is not to achieve the goal. The purpose of the goal is what it makes of us as people, who we become. Ultimately, though, we have to have a sense that who we even have become has some kind of meaning. Without that, there's not a reason to live. There's not a reason to get up. There's not a reason to go out there and make it happen. What's really controlling this man's life is fear. When people say they're cynical or they're pessimistic, what they're really screaming out to you is, I'm scared out of my mind. I'm afraid to dream again. I'm afraid to think about what's possible. I'm afraid to really put myself on the line and say, I'm going to go for something. I'm going to stand for something. I'm going to put myself on the line in a relationship or in my business or my vision to make a difference in the world. Because you know what? Maybe at one time this person did that. Maybe they tried it several times and it didn't work. And they got pain and pain and pain. Pretty soon they didn't want the pain, so they stopped dreaming, they stopped envisioning, they stopped coming up with meaning. Instead, they try to keep themselves away from the pain by saying, well, there's no meaning in it all anyway. But unfortunately, that gives you the ultimate pain because it gives you a life without meaning. And no one can live a life that's fulfilled without a sense of meaning. See, we've been put here for a reason. The question is why? And the answer, I think, is different for every one of us. It's different for me than it is for you. And yet it's the same. Every one of us have been put here. Every one of us is unique and different and special. And I believe our creator, if I may use the word God, if I may, God has put you here for a reason. The question is, what is it? God does not create things without a purpose. Everything on earth serves a purpose. What why are you here? What are you here to do? What are you here to become, to create and to give? These are some of the most significant questions that you can answer in your life. And even when you answer them, I'm sure that as your life expands, you'll come up with better answers as you get more experience and you get closer in touch with your own innermost being and maybe closer in touch with your creator as well. You say, tony, where are you going with this? I'm really going to the essence of giving your life what you deserve, which is knowing that there are no mistakes, knowing that every little thing you do has a consequence. It can be a positive consequence if you choose it. The most powerful thing that has consequence in your life, though, is the thing we talk about so often. But I gotta say it again, and that is what's really ultimately shaping our lives, are our decisions. The first decision is the decision about what to focus on. Where your focus goes is gonna determine how you think, how you feel, what you do, what ultimately what your life turns out like, what you're able to contribute. The bottom line is we must find an empowering focus out of any situation. The second decision that shapes our life and the meaning of our lives are the decisions that we make about what something means. Meaning is ultimately something we determine. That's the exciting part about it, and that's the scary part about it. And the third decision, of course, is what are you going to do when something happens? See, so much of the fear that we see in life comes from the fact that most of us don't feel like we're in control. We're running around trying to control all the events of our lives. And every single one of us is going to experience multiple situations in our life that no matter how skillful we are, where we cannot control the event, where it's just not something that we can control because we didn't initiate it. Anytime you're dealing with other people, this is going to happen. Anytime you're dealing with Mother Nature, this is going to happen. Most of us in life are so afraid something's going to happen that we can't control, and therefore we're going to get pain that we try to avoid those things we can't control. We try to shape our lives, where we spend our time, who we spend our time with, what we do, by environments that we feel really comfortable in, where we feel like we're really in control in them. But what that does is it limits the shape and quality of our lives. We've got to be willing to put ourselves out there to discover what we're really capable of when we're put in environments, when we don't Know what to do when we don't know what things mean when we're not sure. It's in those environments that we grow the most. It's in those environments that we discover more of our true purpose as human beings. It's there that our character is shaped. You know, so many times we set goals or we have dreams or we have plans and we work our tail off and it doesn't come out the way we want. And a lot of people come out of those situations disillusioned or angry or resentful or frustrated. They look for someone to blame. But you know, sometimes I really, truly believe that, that not getting your goal is part of the design, it's part of the game plan. Causing you to dig inside and discover more of yourself, to really begin to use your real capacity as human being. Those traits that are within you that only expand when they're challenged, when demands are made upon them. You know, I truly believe that God is not so much interested in our convenience as he is in our character. And I also believe that because something hasn't happened right away when you wanted it and designed it, it didn't work out. Doesn't mean it's not going to happen. It's really a test of how committ are you? It's really a test designed to make you become more. God's delays are not God's denials. Unless you give up, of course. If you don't do your part, then of course whatever you've envisioned will never come to be. But we have to be willing to continue to put ourselves forth and know that events will show up that we can't control. So let me ask you a question. You go, okay, I understand all this, Tony. But how do you ever have a sense of certainty in a world that's changing all the time, where you set goals, you do all the right things, and it still doesn't always turn out right. How do you live in a world where suddenly something can happen? It could take away your whole business, or a storm could come and take away your home, or some calamity could happen to your personal family or a disease could hit, or someone could die. How do you deal with all that? And the answer is, you have to know. The one thing you can control is not events. What you control is what things mean to you. And therein comes the secret to life. Because no matter what happens in your life, the meaning of what has happened, yours, you get to determine it as long as you're conscious and you don't allow the people around you to teach you what to think. And as long as you don't just go on automatic pilot and allow your nervous system to make up connections that are false. Let me give an example of what happens to people. Certainly by now you realize that what you do as human being is primarily driven by your need to avoid pain and your desire for pleasure, right? But see, all of us have learned through life that certain things mean more pain than others. And so some people are driven by their fear, right? They experience the emotion of fear is the most incredible, painful thing they could ever imagine. So they'll do anything to avoid being in a fearful situation. Other people are driven by their desire to feel the sense of adventure. Obviously, they make decisions differently, they focus on different things in life. They can walk in the same room as someone who lives in fear and they're going to notice different things, they're going to want to sit in a different place, they're going to want to try a different kind of vacation than someone who's trying to focus on how to be secure. What drives you? Are you driven by guilt? Are you driven by your past? When we use the word driven, the word drive, it really means to guide, to control, or to direct something. So what's guiding you? What's controlling you? What's directing your behavior? What's directing your focus? What's directing the meaning you're pulling from your life? What is it? Is it your parents? Is it the competition you have with somebody else? Is it wanting to prove somebody wrong? Is it your desire to contribute? Is it your desire for joy or happiness? Or is it a sense of purpose that's driving you? A sense there's something out there for you to do. There's something you're designed to evolve into, to become, to share, to give, to create. You don't even know what it is, but you're willing to trust that each day more of it's going to come out. See, whatever drives you, that's what's shaping your life. And the challenge is that most of us never consciously decide what we're going to have drive our life. See, we're not stimulus response animals, but we can be stimulus response animals. Our nervous systems are designed to help us. They're designed to be a source of decision making. They're designed to help us very quickly. When you have an experience, figure out what is the source of that pain so we can avoid it in the future. What is that source of that pleasure so we can have more of it in the future. But when we don't think things through. When we don't think things through in an empowering way, when we don't have faith that there's a higher meaning, we tend to settle like animals for the lowest meaning that we can find. Well, this is happening because I'm a bad person. This is happening because there's something wrong with me. This is happening because I'm just destined to fail or worse. Very often in life, we don't even consciously think things through. Our nervous system just makes quick decisions. Hey, every moment you're alive, whenever you have a significant amount of pain, your brain says, hey, what is the source of this pain? And it uses three criteria I'm sure you remember, to determine what the source of your pain is. It looks for something that is happening about the same time you're having the pain. That is unique because after all, you weren't feeling pain a moment ago. You got pain. Now. What's unique about this situation? It looks for something that is recent. Something's happening about the same time you have the pain. And it also looks for something that is consistent. Something that whenever you've had pain in the past, this has also been a factor in that situation. Let me tell you how these three criteria can help you. You, you go out one day when you're a child and you touch a hot stove, you feel some pain, you pull it back, Your brain says, okay, what was unique to that moment that gave me the pain? It looks around and says, ah, this burner, right? And says, what was happening about the same time I felt the pain? I was touching this burner. And what's consistent about it? Well, maybe nothing until you do it again after doing it two or three times or maybe one time because it hurt enough, maybe one time is consistent. It's like when somebody says to you, you always do that. I don't always do that. Yes, you do. You always do it. I've done it one time. Yeah, but. Well, that's always. Well, human beings can make one time consistent if it's painful enough. So the bottom line is, what do you learn? Your nervous system learns you don't grab burners, right? You just don't do that. And so in the future, when you're trying to make a decision about what to focus on, what things mean and what to do, and you're going by a burner, one of the options is not to go grab that baby just for fun. So as basic as this lesson is, we fail to realize that this simple system that assists us so much in making decisions because it Helps us discover what is the source of our pain or our pleasure so we can avoid the pain, gain the pleasure in the future. This simple system can be misguided or misinterpret information. See, here's how it works. I'll give you an example. I was doing a date with destiny only a couple weekends ago, and several people were having major challenges in their life. And one lady just couldn't get herself to really have any meaning in her life. And as I kept digging, digging, digging, the real problem that she had is she felt lonely because she felt disconnected, because she wanted to have someone she could share her life with, but she couldn't get herself to do that. Why would you guess someone couldn't get themself to be able to share their life? Not hard to figure out, is it? Pain person, obviously, as I guessed, had a painful relationship in the past, which she had. It was so painful that she'd linked up in her head that marriage because she'd had a previous one that was painful equals death. That'll kind of keep you away from getting into a closer relationship, right? How did her brain do that? Well, she said she was in this relationship. It was so great. But. But after they got married, this man became physically abusive, verbally abusive. He basically did everything he could to control every aspect of her life. And the worst thing of all, when she finally developed the courage to divorce this man, he threatened not only her life, but he also threatened her own son's life. And when that happened, she got linked up. Marriage equals death to not only me, but potential loss of the life of my child, that's even more than the loss of her own life for her. Well, it's not too hard to figure out that if your brain says, why am I feeling this ultimate pain? And it looks for something unique and says, well, because I'm married. And then it looks around and says, what was happening about the same time about the pain? Marriage. And you say, what was consistent during the pain? You go, marriage. Pretty soon you're gonna avoid marriage. But it doesn't stop there. Her brain also linked up that the cause of her pain was something else too. Men. Because after all, what was unique? I had this man around. I was married to a man. And then secondly, what else was going on? Well, about the same time I was feeling the pain, I was with this man. And sure enough, what was recent? This man, right about the time I had the pain, he was there every time. So sure enough, all of a sudden, she's avoiding all men. But it didn't stop there. She also linked up that the reason she felt this pain was because she trusted. So as a result, her brain linked up unconsciously. If you trust, then you will die. Now, I would say to you the opposite is true. If you don't trust, if you don't have faith, then you instantly die internally. You may not die physically, but you die emotionally. Because anything that's worth living in life requires faith. It requires trusting. It requires knowing that you can get out of the chair and walk on this floor. And when you step out on the floor, you don't stop and have to analyze, can I do this? And you don't weigh everything and think about your weight and the structure of the floor and what's underneath it. You just trust. Otherwise you'd be immobilized. You have to trust the drive a car. You have to have faith to enter a relationship. You have to have faith to start a business. You have to have faith when all of a sudden somebody at this company says, these 35,000 people are gone. You have to have faith that if you're one of those 35,000, that there is a better plan for you and that you will now act on that faith and take action and find that better plan, that better solution for your life. You must have that. When you lose trust, you lose meaning. When you lose meaning, you lose your life again. Maybe not physically, but certainly emotionally. And when you lose it emotionally, the physical loss of life often is not that far behind. Medical researchers are now proving that the mind, body connection is not some psychobabble, but a physical reality that the way we think and the way we feel about our lives affects us physically. In fact, Dr. Chopra recently shared with me that there is a new study that was done in the state of Massachusetts where they began to study what causes someone to die of their first heart attack before the age of 50, where they never get another chance. In other words, what was the number one risk factor? They wanted to know. And they assumed that what would cause someone to die from just their very first heart attack, never get another chance would be a person just had so much cholesterol in their body, their body wasn't able to recover. They found out that was not the number one risk factor. Then they thought, well, maybe they had diabetes. Maybe it was more of a genetic factor. They once again disproved that theory. What the Department of Health, Education and Welfare for the state of Massachusetts states in their article clearly is the most important risk factor to determine that you will die of your first heart attack. And not get a second chance is what they call job dissatisfaction. You gotta have a deeper meaning for your life than, oh, I'm on that grindstone again or I'm on that treadmill. No wonder most people in life turn to alcohol or drugs or television. And even then they can't find something to entertain themselves. Even then they don't sense any fulfillment. Because distraction does not create a life of significance. Distraction does not create joy. Distraction will not give you what you're seeking. Drugs will not change your life for the better, right? What they'll do is hurt you. They'll create pain. And there are all kinds of drugs. Anything that doesn't expand you as a human being or allow you to share more love and joy with others in a natural way that enhances your physiology and your mind, your emotions and your spirit is something you probably don't need. You gotta grow, you gotta expand, you gotta contribute. You gotta know that you're here for a purpose. There are no mistakes. There is a meaning, even if you haven't found it yet. You must discover it. And you know what? For most people, they don't discover the meaning of their life until their life is over. What a sad place to be. Or until they have a life threatening illness, or until somebody very close to them that they love is about to leave them. You don't have to wait for the pain to discover the meaning. Say, well, how will I know when I found the purpose of my life? You decide what it is. You discover it and you decide, this is it. Maybe later on I'll refine it. I probably will. But for right now, this is why I'm playing the game of life. This is what it's about every day. If I'm just being this way, if I'm just doing these kinds of simple things with other people, with myself, then I know I'm on track. I know there's a reason for my existence. We all have that. Now I know. You know the story of Viktor Frankl, right? The man who wrote Man's Search for Meaning. Here's a man who's in a Nazi concentration camp with pain everywhere around him, knowing at any moment he could be gassed or maybe spared. And if he was spared, he'd have the unique privilege of going out and taking the dead bodies out of those gas chambers, putting them in the big ovens. Talk about intense. And yet somehow in the midst of that pain, he found a deeper meaning. The meaning was that even though he was in pain in the moment, that somehow, someday, he would survive this and he would come to share the story so that this would never happen to other people in the future. He couldn't find a meaning in the moment. He found a meaning in the future. And for most of us, the meaning that we want for our lives is here today. And it's preparing us for an even greater meaning in the future if we'll just use all of our life's experience, the pain and the pleasure, to become more, to prepare ourselves for whatever it is that our Creator has brought us here for. To prepare ourselves so that at the moment of truth when we are needed, we. We will deliver. And my real belief is we're going to be delivering all along the way. It isn't something that someday you're going to do. It's something you everyday are doing, you know. My former spouse, Becky, just recently lost her father. And it's been a tough time for her because in a very short period of time here, she's lost both her mom and her dad. And that's an event you cannot control. And God knows we tried. You know, three years ago when they told us that her father had cancer, they told us that he would die within a period of anywhere from three to six months. And we just did not allow them to tell him that for the obvious reasons. You know how I believe from all the people we've learned from, from everyone from Dr. Bernie Siegel to Norman Cousins to Dr. Deepak Chopra, we understand the mind, body connection. If someone decides that because they have some dis ease in their body, what it means is they're going to die, then of course they will. Fortunately, he never found out that diagnosis. And what we did is we kept making sure he had a compelling future, he had a sense of meaning, a variety of things that he was needed for. And it was amazing how he physically responded. We had a trip scheduled for him to go to Fijian, which he went on and talked to him about how we needed his help with our resort there and helping some of the Fijians in the garden, because the garden for him created so much meaning in his life about supporting, about nurturing, about helping life along a little bit. And so he was excited about and things we wanted him to do with his grandkids. So we kept giving him compelling futures. And sure enough, three months went by, he was healthy. Six months went by, he was healthy. A year went by. And through a variety of interventions, pretty soon he seemed to be better. Until just recently when we started getting phone calls from his neighbors. He lived up in a place called Rand, Colorado, a little town with 14 people in it that he's been a major part of for years and years. And they started to call us to tell us that they didn't think he could take care of himself anymore. So we flew out and brought him back here. The first few days, he was in phenomenal shape. It was like he was completely restored. Being around the grandkids and being in the environment. He was all excited to share about things that happened in his little town of rand that he helped to create there, about all about the calves that he helped to deliver and about the planting season and how they're helping people through the winter and some of the stories they've been telling. And he was just totally alive. And then we took him to doctors for a series of tests. They said they wanted to keep him overnight. The next day we called and I spoke to his main doctor, and he said it looks like he just has a form of meningitis. So he said, that'll be really easily treatable and he should be okay. And he said, so don't worry. He said, we're just going to do a series more tests because he's a bit dehydrated. He lives at an altitude of about 11,500ft, and he's not drinking enough water. And he said, so, you know, we're going to run a couple more tests. He said next day, he said, but I think he'll be fine. He said, I have to go out of town. He said, my a partner doctor will be working with him. So said, I've passed on all the information. You can check in with him tomorrow. Well, the next day, Becky went to go see her dad, and I was out doing a seminar, and I got a phone call. And the phone call was that they'd done additional tests and that they'd found out that the cancer had spread throughout his spine and into his brain. And while it wasn't treatable before, when they told us three years ago, it's certainly not treatable now, and that they thought he would die within weeks. The worst part was, though, that they also told this to him before they told it to Becky. So he had no one there to support him through the process or to give him other options. When I found this out, I became so angry with the doctors because I focused on how he had violated what we asked him to do and how the other doctors should have told his partner doctor not to tell him yet to allow us to talk to him, to prepare him for the situation. That it was so harsh, it was so Unfair. And. And the meaning of it was that it was going to really harm him, that all of a sudden he would give up hope. And what I wanted to do was lash out. And fortunately, I didn't lash out. Instead, I started focusing on what's happening to Cecil. What can I do? So went to go see him and talk to him, and it was unbelievable. He looked like he just aged 10 years in a day. Because what had happened is he had no future. There was no purpose in fighting the pain or trying to make things happen or trying to tell stories or do anything, because, after all, you're going to die anyway soon. And that was kind of the way he was interpreting it. Sure enough, no matter what we said, he just didn't seem to respond. He just seemed to go into a total stupor. And for the next day and a half or so, he just sat in a corner. And he really didn't say very much or communicate very much. He just said not to bother with him, that he was fine, but he didn't open up emotionally. And I just sat down with him and I cried, and I told him how much I loved him and how much Becky loved him and how he needed to share with us what he was really feeling. Because, you know, holding that back wasn't protecting us from pain. We just felt separate from him, that he could choose what this was going to mean for his life. The doctors had told us three years ago that he was going to die within a matter of months then. And here he was three years later. I said, what if you would have just sat around for three years in this little corner doing nothing because you thought you were going to die any day or any week? I said, that'd be pretty crazy, huh? And he started to laugh. I said, look at this. I said, you can't just sit off in this corner. Hey, you might die tomorrow. You might die in six weeks, you might die in six months, you might die in six years. You might die in 10 or 20 years and really screw these people's brains up. I said, it doesn't matter how long you're going to live. What's going to matter is how are you going to live while you're here? I said, you've lived an incredible life. In World War II, you were a pilot. You know, you were a businessman. Now you're this guy who's touching this little town up in Colorado. Everybody knows you and cares about you and loves you because you love them. I said, you've raised these incredible kids. I said, you know, if you're going to go, go out in style. Go out because you decided to go out in an energy that you want to. Where you really enjoy your life. Don't just shut down because somebody told you life's over. Because you buy into it. Don't do it. And then he said, well, you know, Tony, he said, the truth is I'm not afraid to die. He said, everything he said is true. He said, you know, my life has been so rich. And he says, I feel like I've lived my purpose now. I look around and I see my kids and I see what they're like as people. And I see what I've done. And I think maybe it's time for me to go now. I said, listen, if you're deciding to do that because you really want to go. I said, then you know I love you. I mean, I'm gonna cry and I'm not gonna try and keep you here. And neither is Beck. Cause we love you. I said, but at the same time, don't leave because somebody tells you it's time to go. He said, well, I don't know. I said, well, when it's time to go, you'll know. I said, you can go consciously. You can decide when it's time. You don't have to wait till the pain is so intense you can't stand it. But at the same time, don't go any quicker than your meaning is done. I think right now you're teaching your family a lot of new lessons. He said, yeah, that's probably true. And I said, so what do you want to do? How do you want to do things? I said, let's get your fanny out of here. Let's get about. We had this great conversation. Talked about all kinds of things. I won't bore you with the details, but I let him know that you never have to worry about his daughter. And that she had become the kind of person he could always be proud of. It was amazing because the next three, four, five days he came to life. All of a sudden there was a purpose in things again. All of a sudden he was alive. He'd go out by the pool and tell stories and so forth. And he went over to the polo grounds and did all kinds of just really great things. And then I went away for a seminar and I came back two days later and it was like he was gone. He could barely even talk. He was having a difficult time holding himself up. He had to have round the clock care for him. Pretty soon he wasn't able to carry On a conversation, he would start talking gibberish and start seeing things that were invisible and point to them. We could tell the end was coming. And as the end started to come, there was more and more pain and tears, and we felt it all. And I also at the same time reminded ourselves that, hey, we're making this thing that it's lost because of our short term thinking about this man in his body and his presence. But his life will live on beyond his physical presence here. And for him, what it probably means is freedom. Finally be free of the painful body he's been in for so many years. For him, it's a chance to be with his wife, Becky's mom. Chance to be with other loved ones. There was another meaning that could give you joy at the same time you're feeling pain. And so we tried to focus on those. And then one night I got home and all of a sudden I was called by the nurse and she told me that Becky's dad had just passed away. I had to share it with Beck. And we cried and we talked. And at the same time, she felt an incredible sense of peace for him. It's amazing how instantly how we felt could change just by changing what we focused on. From our loss to his gain, to the feeling of joy for him to be free. We couldn't control the event, but we could certainly direct our own minds by thinking beyond ourselves to something deeper, to a deeper meaning in life. I got back yesterday from going with Becky up to this little town in Rand, Colorado. This little town I'd never been to before, but Becky had been there many times. And I got a chance to see where Cecil lived and the impact he had. He didn't really want a funeral. He never liked people who put on airs for anything. He was a simple man with simple values and a simple mission. When I got there, I looked around and he never explicitly said what the mission of his life was, the purpose of his life. But in a town of 14 people, and we went out to this gravesite to put his body into the ground, and suddenly person after person started showing up. We knew all 14 people be there because we knew he'd touched them all. They all loved him. He was the storyteller. He was the man who took an old car years ago and painted it black and white and put a star on the side and put a dumb in the inside glasses made it look like a police car so that people came running through this little town which consists of about seven or eight buildings, that they might slow down his House was called the Rand Yacht Club because he invited everybody up for coffee every single morning at least 300 days a year. Figured out how he could tell him a story and cheer him up. He used to run a little restaurant there called the Liar's Lair. The reason was because he had people. He'd tell people stories, and he'd tell the wildest tales and get people to believe them. Sure enough, after about 10 or 15 years, I began to realize that some of these things were stories. And they all laughed as they told me stories about this incredible man who touched their lives. But when we got to the grave site, not only did 14 people show up, but in this little town that's four hours outside of Denver, people came from all over. People came from Wyoming. People came from Denver. Pretty soon, there were a hundred people at a grave site where there was not supposed to be a service to honor a man who touched their lives. So we said, you know, we don't want to have any formal service because that's not what he wanted. But before we put this body in the ground, is there any. Anybody like to say anything? And they all talked about how he touched them, how their life was greater because he was such a loving soul, that his smile had touched them, that his stories had touched them, that just his manner, that he was a lover of people and animals, that because he'd been in this town, their lives would never be the same. And people who'd come through the town just for a day, just his little kindness. He was a man who said, if you can't say something nice about something, don't say anything at all. He never said a negative word about anybody. In fact, one man, probably the most telling tale of this man's life, he said, cecil's the kind of guy, I said, I sat down one day with him and said, what are you doing about all those rodents that keep stealing all our animals? Are you poisoning them? Are you shooting them? Are you trapping them? Are you killing them? What are you doing? He said, because they're taking all my stuff. And Cecil said, no. He said, I just plant twice as much. I thought, what a life. What a man. See, his life was his mission. His mission was real simple. Love people, love animals, love beings. Make the world a little bit better by just being nice. He lived a life of significance, one that had meaning. He didn't go out and change everything on earth. He didn't make a billion dollars. He doesn't have people writing him up everywhere. But he changed people's lives. And he died in his sleep, out of pain, the day he decided to go. And he created in his family a greater sense of courage to look at life in a new way. And a greater sense of dedication to give even more. He added to our drive. He added to our commitment to be givers in life as he was to any soul who had the privilege of coming across his path. I hope it also makes you think about what's most important in your life. I remember in an interview with Michael Landon in Life magazine when he knew he was going to go. He said, somebody should tell us right at the start of our lives that we're dying. That we might live life to the limit every minute of every day. Do what I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows. If you and I are going to live our lives fully, then maybe sometimes we can take the experiences of those around us and learn from them. We can learn that in all of our lives we're either warnings or examples. Cecil's life was an incredible example. He didn't think anything in life was insignificant. Not a rodent, not a flower, not an animal, not a stranger passing through. He lived by a philosophy that they also live in Fiji. By the way, Fiji was his favorite place. One of the last things he told me was the happiest time of his life. The last few years were the trips he took to Fiji. I think it's because he felt like there. Everybody understood what he understood. Life is meant to be a happy, to be a joy. To appreciate the little things as well as the big things. To appreciate one another. To be givers, to be lovers of life. I say to you that if you're driven by anything other than your love, then your spirit and your desire to contribute, your desire to grow and expand. If you're driven by your need to please others, if you're driven by your fear, if you're driven by your past, maybe it's time to free yourself. And the way to do it is decide. Decide consciously what you want your life to be about. Decide consciously what's the purpose of your life. Something simple. Something you can live every single day. You know, I think that when I look at people's lives and I see the people who are having so much difficulty. I think the number one reason why people fail to experience joy in life. Experience life as a win is not because their life isn't a win. Because the wind can be just reaching out and touching somebody around you. The wind can be just telling somebody that you love them. The Wind can be taking care of your body, God's temple. The wind can be stopping and feeling grateful. The wind can be anywhere. You don't have to land on the moon to have the wind. And you can enjoy landing on the moon too. But how much better to enjoy the process? Because we're going to spend most of our life in process, towards the achievement of goals. Now, I'm not saying don't go do things, and I'm not saying don't have grand schemes and dreams, and I'm not saying don't do those because our lives are better, because people have dreamed huge dreams and they've made them happen. But I'm saying don't do it at the expense of not appreciating what's true along the way. And what Cecil's reminded us of is all those little things that are so, so important. And we've always believed they're important. I feel like we've always lived, that they're important. But I just want to redouble the effort. It's part of my commitment to him. And so, in his honor, I challenge you to do the same. I challenge you to hold yourself to a higher standard. I challenge you to realize that you're here for a purpose. There's something for you to do and be here for yourself and for others. You can't just do for others, not do for yourself, or you won't be here. So this is really designed to get you to ask yourself, are you being efficient? Are you being effective in your life? There's a big difference. If you're being efficient, then what you're doing is you're doing things right. But if you're being effective, you're doing the right things. Are you doing the things that are going to give you the most joy in your life? Why are you doing what you're doing and where is it taking you? You know, we all need to have what I call a code of conduct, a set of standards we hold ourselves to every day about how we're going to be as people, the kinds of states we're going to live in. Because it's out of those states that we affect everyone around us. Just stop and think about what's most important. Think about why you're here, what's the purpose of your life? Step out of the moment and into eternity. Think about what's eternal. When you're feeling insecure, start to realize there is something inside of you that is never ending, that there's something inside of you that is unchangeable. And that's the part of you that knows what is right, what to do, and why you're here. So it may sound metaphysical, it may sound religious or spiritual, call it whatever you want, but know that the bottom line is that you are here for a reason and that it's a special reason that only you know. And it may be that you haven't found it because you're looking for something huge. And it may be that you're living it right now. You're just not appreciating your purpose. Maybe what you're doing right now is your life purpose, this thing that you detest most. Or maybe what it is doing is giving you the challenge to really discover something within yourself that will allow you to give and be more. Because life is about two things, being and doing. How are you going to be as a human being? I mean, ultimately our destiny is who do we become as people and what do you do? What do you contribute? That's what it's about. That's what gives us a sense of fulfillment. A life of significance is one of growth and contribution. It's one. You decide what your life's about. Simply, what are you here for? Are you here to live, to learn, to grow, to share, to love? What are you here for? I'm asking these questions. I'm hoping you're thinking, not just listening to me. What is the special plan for you? You've got to discover the purpose of your life. There is a plan. There is something here for you that's different than anybody else in the world. And you've got to discover what it is. And the best way to discover is just trust your instinct and say, what is it? It was simple, it was clear, and I was living every day. Why am I here? Because if you never discover your purpose, how can you ever win the game of life? How can you really enjoy it thoroughly? See, I look around at people so often, they're so unhappy. And I think the reason is that they don't ever win the game of life. It's a game they feel like they can't win, like they're always losing. And the reason, number one is I think there's seven reasons. I'll give you seven. I've jotted some down here. I think number one is, I think most people never win the game of life. They never feel fulfilled, they never feel joy because they don't know the purpose of the game. If you don't know the purpose of the game, what's your chances of ever winning, of ever getting to Ring the bell and feel that sense of fulfillment or joy or passion or love or whatever it is that you truly want at the deepest level. See, if you don't know the purpose of the game, if you don't know the goal, it's pretty hard to set up your game to win, isn't it? Pretty soon you start pursuing things that don't give you fulfillment. Living somebody else's life other than your own. You got to know, what are you doing it all for? What do you really want? When I ask most people this question, what do you want? They give me answers like, well, I know what I don't want. I don't want to live this way anymore. I don't want to feel like hell anymore. That's not going to give you what you want. What do you really want? Well, I want to finally be financially secure so I can retire. Great. You know, the statistics about retirement actuaries, statistics from insurance companies show that three years after a man retires, specifically, I'm using men, guess what happens? He dies. To retire is to die. And for some people, this is like their major aim. Think about it. Retirement is going to make you happy. You got to have a purpose. You got to know what it is. You got to decide what it is, at least for now, and know that that vision will continue to expand. Second reason why most people fail at the game called life, because even though they don't know the purpose of the game, they got tons of rules about how it must be played. They don't even know the goal. And they got all these rules they gotta live by. And not only do they have rules for themselves, but they have rules for everybody else around them. Rules for how their spouse should be, rules about how their boss should be, rules for how people they don't even know on the street should be. You know, it's so often in life we get upset with other people. And it's not about the other people, it's about our rules. They're doing something we know they shouldn't be doing, or they're not doing something we know they should be doing. Right? We need to just relax a little bit. We need to realize that whatever people are doing, they got a reason. It may not be a very intelligent reason by our perspective, but who are we to say? And you know what? And maybe it isn't an intelligent reason by lots of people's ideas, but you know, what is a reason? I mean, it all comes down to how do we wire ourselves as human beings. See, whenever you see somebody and think they're doing something crazy. Have some compassion. Are there any stupid things you've ever done in your lifetime or crazy? I would hallucinate based on my own personal experience? The answer may be, you betcha. And the bottom line is, we gotta understand that things are going on that we don't understand with people. I remember one time I was talking to Stephen Covey about times where we misinterpreted people's behavior. And he told me about this time when he got on a subway and this man walked in and brought on a bunch of his kids. And they were just running rampant, screaming, yelling, making noise, creating havoc. And, you know, Steven's more of a mellow, centered kind of guy. He doesn't like that kind of environment, even on the subway. And the bottom line is, you know, he didn't want to say anything, but he found himself getting more and more irritated. And the man seemed to be just ignoring the kids like it didn't even matter what they were doing. So he found himself finally to the point where he actually spoke up. So Stephen turned to him and said, you know, do you think you might want to do something about these children? And the man looked at him and said, oh, yeah, I guess I should, huh? He said, we just got back from the hospital. Their mother just died. He said, I just don't think they know how to deal with it. He said, quite honestly, neither do I. Stephen said he felt like absolute garbage. And he said it made him, from then on realize whatever's going on, there may be something else going on as well. It made him have compassion. It gave him fewer rules for other people in his life. Not a bad idea. But we were talking about people that don't succeed in life. And why don't they succeed? One, they don't know the purpose of the game. Two, they got tons of rules, even though they don't have the purpose. How'd you like to be in a game and you're trying to win and you don't know the goal, and you got a zillion rules you gotta live by? That'd be pretty frustrating, wouldn't it? Well, add step three to it. Here's the third reason people fail to win the game of life, and that is because their rules are in conflict. We've got all these different special rules where we contradict ourselves, where in one situation you're supposed to be one way and another situation you're supposed to be totally different in order to be effective. See, if you got a bunch of rules and conflict, which most of Us do. You're going to have pain, you're going to have frustrations in your life. Here's the fourth reason why most people don't win the game of life. Because even when the person plays by the rules, they don't always win. In other words, you do everything right. You don't always get rewarded, you give your all, you put your heart and soul on the line, you do everything right. And still sometimes it rains on your parade. Sometimes, you know, a storm comes down and beats the death out of your crop. All of a sudden you're in the Midwest and the flood comes and destroys all you've worked on. You know, that kind of messes your brain a little bit. You start saying, hey, you know, why even try? There's no meaning. This, everything I do is for naught. That's worthless. Not realizing there's a deeper meaning, there's a meaning beyond the moment that what's happening in this life right now, this event, you can't control. Whether it's the loss of a father as Becky has gone through, and a father in law as I have, or this loss of a business, or anything that seems to be a loss is a gain. If you ask yourself, how can I use this? What else can this mean? If I can't use it today, how will I use this someday? How can I turn this into opportunity? How can I make myself more? How can I use this pain to sculpt my soul? What can I do right now to move myself forward? These are the kinds of questions that will support you instead of woe is me. Why me? Why this have to happen? You'll never get an answer to those. Those questions will leave you in an endless loop. Here's the fifth reason why most people fail in the game called life. Sometimes you break the rules and you win. Oh my gosh. You do something you know isn't right. You do something you know you shouldn't do, something that's against your own values, against your own way of doing things. And you get pleasure. And your brain goes, hey, maybe there's some new rules out here. Maybe I don't have to live by these rules after all. When I worked my butt off and did everything right and held myself to this high standard, I got pain, I break the rule and I got pleasure. Maybe this is how it's really wired. Maybe I just like take a look at life being this way. You know what it does? It takes you away from your higher purpose. It takes you away from what's most important in your life. And While you might get pleasure in the short term, you give up that sense of dignity within yourself that says you're doing the right thing. That's what causes more people to fail in life than I think, almost anything else. Because the ultimate pleasure in life requires sometimes short term pain to get to it. And that ultimate pleasure is who you become, what you contribute, and the experience of life that you have because of that growth and contribution. The sixth reason why most people fail the game called Life is because in order to win this game, you got to work with five and a half billion other people who all have the wrong rules. They don't know the purpose of the game either. And they are real clear that there are certain rules you must live by. We all have different rules because we've all learned different ways of getting out of pain and into pleasure in life. We gotta learn from one another. And finally, the seventh reason why most people fail the game called Life is because they think it's a life and death game. And you say, well, it is a life and death game. Well, I'm the first person to agree that this is not a practice session. This is the real thing. That's why we gotta live it full on. But if you think everything is life and death, every moment you put so much pressure on yourself that you truly will not live life. You'll live in fear. And that's no life at all. How do you live life and win the game? Well, in spite of all this stuff that sounds so terrible, there are people that seem to be winning, seem to be fulfilled, seem to be making a difference, seem to have a great deal of joy in their life. And they seem to have it consistently. And they're not doing it through drugs or alcohol or distraction. They're doing it through living a life of significance. How have they done it? They do what we do. In our Date with Destiny seminar, we accomplished seven things in that seminar. I bring it up because I hope you'll take the time and actually come where we'll get your purpose and your mission statement and your values all in the exact order you ideally need them to be. So you're being pulled in the direction you want instead of being pulled in multiple directions. But for right now, here's what we do and here's what we're going to start doing on this tape. It's the first thing these people have who succeed, who are fulfilled, is they decided what the purpose of the game is, at least for right now. Do you follow me on this? They said, okay, I don't Know what the purpose is ultimately. But let me just decide for right now. The purpose of my life is to what. It's to love and be loved. It's to grow, it's to expand, it's to make a difference, do this, it's to do that. They come up with a purpose, which is what I want you to do at the end of this tape. The start, I know it's not the end, all and be all from one tape. But I want to get you started on a mission statement, a purpose statement for your life. You got to have that. If you don't at least have a target, if you don't know what the goal of the game is, you don't know what to decide to do. We have all these choices, all these opportunities, so you don't have to choose between something that's good and bad. You have to choose between something that's good and something that's great. But if you don't know what your purpose is, if you don't know what you value most in life, you can't make an easy decision. All decision making is value clarification. See, if you don't know where you're going, then you can get there by any road. You're not going to know the difference. You know, everything looks like great opportunity. One of the biggest challenges in life is choosing, focusing your life, deciding what to spend your time on, what to spend your energy on. Having a clear purpose allows you to do that. The second thing you want to do to make your life work and those who succeed do this is they have fewer rules. The more rules you have about how people have to be and how life has to be for you to be happy, the less happy you're going to be. See the happiest people, those people say every day above ground is a great day. The happiest people that people find joy in a smile, joy in adventure, joy in a simple action. See, if you can find joy in that area, then all the big things are just a big bonus for you in your life. So when you find yourself starting to react to something that someone else has done, then you might want to ask yourself, how significant is this really? Is this so bad? Is it okay for this person to have a different opinion, a different view, a different feeling than me in this area? And in most cases you might say, yeah, it is. What would you have to believe in order to be upset that everybody has to live by your rules? Well, maybe in some areas that's real important. Maybe some other areas it's not as significant. And you just let go of it and have a lot less pain. The third thing that people who win the game of life seem to have in common is they've made their rules consistent. They found the conflicts in their life, and when they find them, they've been honest with themselves and say, this is a total contradiction of what I normally believe in other areas, no more. This is not how I'm going to live my life. Fourth thing these people do that make them succeed is they give themselves pleasure whenever they win, even when the world doesn't. This is really important. You got to realize that sometimes you'll do everything right and you won't get acknowledged. So what? Acknowledge yourself. You got to catch yourself doing little things right and give yourself the pleasure you deserve. After all, if somebody else tells you, hey, great job, and that makes you feel good, it's not them saying great job that makes you feel good. It's when they say, great job, you stop and say, oh, that means I get to feel good. And you send a little neurotransmitter that allows yourself to feel the pleasure feeling in your body. Why not just give it to yourself so that you keep yourself on track, so you're always reinforcing good behaviors, excellent behaviors, commitments to your highest values. Fifth thing these people have in common is when they screw up, when they don't do things right, when they violate their own values, when they violate their own sense of purpose in life, they give themselves a short burst of pain. They say, this is not who I am. I stand for more. They don't wait for the world to have to give them pain. That's why they're on track. The sixth thing that these people that win have in common is that they know that everybody in life has different rules. And so when they get in a relationship with people, they know they've got to have other people in their life to help succeed in a particular area. They try to find out their rules. Because if you know what's most important to people, if you know what their rules for life are, what their musts are in life, it's a lot easier. And lastly, people who succeed in life, they've learned that life has a purpose. But they also, at the same time, don't take life too seriously. They don't take themselves too seriously. What's that old funny metaphor? Why do angels fly? Because they take themselves lightly. The bottom line is we've got to look at life in a different way now, with all this conversation we've had here about purpose, what are you and I going to do right now so that you have a greater sense of meaning? Well, one is, I don't need you to just go out and create this grandiose purpose and, and write pages and pages and pages. I think that the simplest things can be the most powerful things. So if you can now close your eyes and think about what'd you want to be when you were going to grow up? Go back to a time when you were 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 years old. What'd you want to be back then? What'd you want to do? Who are your role models and why did you want to be that? Think about it just for a second in your head as I'm saying this. It might be. Want to write a few of these things down. In fact, pretty soon you're definitely going to want to write things down. So might be good to stop the tape right here and just think about what your purpose is and pull out a piece of paper and a pen or a little computer and let's work together on this for a second. What were some of the things you wanted to be when you were growing up when you were a little kid? I remember one of the first things I wanted to be was an archaeologist. Now, whatever you wanted to be, here's the question I want to ask you. Why did you want to be that? In other words, what was the feeling you were hoping to get from that? What were the sensations? What were you wanting to be and do? What were you wanting to get from that? And when I think back and I think about what I really want to be as an archaeologist is I wanted to discover things. I mean, that was the biggest thing. I wanted to discover things that had not been discovered before. Something new, something unique, something different. And I wanted to share that with people. I wanted to be a person who went out and discovered and then shared that discovery with others. And you know what's interesting? I'm doing that today. I'm just not sticking my head in the sand and doing it. I'm doing it by sticking my head in other people's brains and finding out what makes them tick and find out what makes me tick and then sharing some of that. But that feeling, that same feeling that I wanted then, I found a way to do it today in a new way. And so I challenge you to think about what was it you really wanted from that. Then think of something else you wanted to be when you were growing up. I wanted to also be a police artist later on. Remember that, you know, those Guys that draw those pictures, you know, and show people and catch the bad guys. And why did I want to do that? What did I want to get from that? Oh, gosh, I thought about it. I said, well, I love. I wanted to create. I wanted to be creative and I wanted to help people. I wanted to help people do the right things. I wanted to get people out of their payment. I wanted to catch the bad guys. But most importantly, I wanted to create and help people. Well, guess what? I found a way to do that today different than I originally thought. But the same purpose is there now. Maybe it's not the same purpose for you for all the things you want to do. Maybe they have a common thread or maybe they're different threads that are important. What else did you want to be when you're growing up and why did you want it? What feelings did you hope it would give you? What did you hope would come from it? Think for a second I could give you another one of mine. While you're thinking, try and trigger you. What else I want to do? Well, I wanted to definitely be a rock star. I wanted to be able to entertain people, to change their emotional states, to use my voice and my face and my body to give people more passion in their lives. And now I found another way to do that. Plus, I get to work with some of these people. The other day I got a chance to go to the Aerosmith concert. I kind of grew up listening to those guys. And I found out that Steven Tyler and some of these guys are fans of mine as well. Went backstage and I met Tim Collins, who's their manager. And he told me a phenomenal story. He said that years ago, in the early 80s, when Aerosmith was in really bad shape, the guys were hooked on heroin and they were losing everything financially and the group had broken up that he decided he was going to turn it around. And he read two books, Think and Grow Rich and a little book called Unlimited Power. And he said that what he learned there gave him the inspiration and some of the tools and strategies to get himself off heroin and coke. And they needed a group intervention and help the other guys do the same. And these guys are now on a mission. They're totally clean, they're Evian water drinking guys that are out there sharing their rock and roll and their message and they're doing it healthfully. I got a chance to meet Steven Tyler, who's just an incredible guy. I mean, these guys have been touring for 23 years, giving their all passionately every day. I feel like they're brothers. And it was really interesting because he said, you know, I watch on TV all the time. I feel like we're walking the same path, you know. And he said, I listen to your tapes. He said, we really have the same mission. He said, you know, do you think you'd get together with us and do a gig for us? I said, what do you mean? He said, well, like, you know, the guys on the weekend. Could you maybe, like, do your gig for us so we could all participate on the weekend? As they're laughing, I pinch myself. I said, oh, cool, now I get to do a gig for Aerosmith. I'm not out there rock and rollin, but sort of I am. I'm working with the rock and roller, so it's fun. So my point is, maybe you're not doing what you originally envisioned. But maybe you'll find a way to do it even better if you have some faith. Maybe if you keep developing yourself. And you know, at least the emotion you want, the contribution you want to create, you'll find a better way. Most importantly, before you can find the way, you got to know the essence of what it is you really want. What is that purpose? That's what I'm really asking you about. Now, with your eyes closed again, Think about a situation in your life when you felt like you're really on a roll. You know the kind of situation I'm talking about where you just felt incredibly good, you had great feelings, where things were just flowing, things were effortless. When you thought to yourself, wow, I love this. This is what life's about. I love this is it, this is it. This is what life is really about. Can you remember a time like that in your life at any age, young or old, where you really felt like you're in that flow? You thought, this is it, this is what life's about. Think of a situation like that right now. Remember that time. Step back into your mind, back into your body, like you were then. And look through your own eyes as you were then. When you felt like, this is what life's about. And see what you saw, hear what you heard. What were you doing? What were you feeling? What were the states you were in? What were you experiencing? Yeah, think about it and tell me, what is it? And was there anything in common with this, with some of the other things you wanted to have in your life, the feelings you wanted to have? Maybe you wanted to grow or create or contribute or discover or expand or challenge? What is it, love? What were the feelings and what were you doing? When you get a sense of what that was, then think about this. Think of another situation in your life. Think of a second one. When you felt like you were on a roll at some other point in your life, when things were flowing, when you felt, this is it, this is what life's about. I love this. Think of another time like that and step into that situation as well. Step into it right now. As you step in that situation, look around, see what you saw, then hear what you heard, then feel what you were feeling. Then what was happening in that moment. Not just what you were doing, notice what you were doing. Were you creating or writing or speaking or communicating or. Or manufacturing something, or studying or learning or what were you doing? But also how were you feeling? What were the states you were in and what were you doing for others? If they were involved, were other people involved? What was the process? How were you being and what were you doing? Feel it in your body. Is there anything that is similar between this and the last experience or anything about this that's similar between this and the feelings that you wanted from those things you wanted to be when you were going to grow up? That's it. Notice it. And capture not only the idea of this, but the feeling as well. Now, one more time, think of something else. Another time, at any age when you felt like you were on a major roll, things were really flowing where you felt incredible. When you felt like, I love this. This is what life's really about. This is it. Think of another situation like that right now. And as you step into that situation right now, notice what were you doing? What were you creating? What were you sharing? What were you feeling? Feeling these feelings. Think about the purpose of your life. If you were going to say it in a simple phrase, not even paragraphs and paragraphs, simple phrase, or a sentence or two. And you're going to write down, the purpose of my life is to what? If you're going to do it, you're going to have a couple simple criteria. One has got to be stated positive. Not the purpose of my life is to stop all the horrible things in the world. No, no. Something positive, something stated in the positive. And if it was going to be something brief and it was going to be something emotionally charged in terms of its words for you. And it has to have how you're going to be as a person and what are you going to do? And it's got to include not just other people. Like, I'm going to change other people's lives or I'm Going to make the world better for other people. You got to be in your own mission statement. You've got to be your own purpose statement. You got to be in there too. And other people don't just have it. The purpose of my life is for me to be happy because we're all connected. So if it's you and others being and doing. Brief and short. What is the purpose of your life? What is it right now? What comes out of your head? Not the right answer, not the perfect answer, just the answer. The purpose of your life is to be. And do what for yourself and others? Just say it out loud. Just say it. Don't even write it down at first. If you got pen and paper, then write it down. Purpose of my life is to what? Say it again? Try something, keep changing it. And if you write it down each time, it'll give you better. So I prefer if you wrote it down, but just come up with something. The purpose of my life for me, Tony Robbins, is to serve God and my fellow man by being a powerful, loving, passionate, outrageous, courageous, strong, playful, crazy example of the unlimited possibilities that God gives. When you commit your life to service, when you're really focused on contribution, that's what my life's about. I know what I feel. I can change the words slightly here and there, but I know the essence of my life. And you've got to know what that is for you. That is what will help you to make the decisions. That'll give you the motivation to get up early and stay up late. That'll make you connect with people in a way you've never connected before. But you got to know what it is. And it's got to be more than just you, you and others. Got to be brief. It's got to be emotional. It's got to be intense. So go do it right now. Turn off the tape and just start writing like crazy. What is the purpose of your life? And when you write something, write another thing. Cross it out and write another one. Keep writing it better and better till you got something you like, then to turn the tape back on. Go for it. Do it now. The purpose of your life is to. What? You did turn this tape off, didn't you? You're not just sitting there thinking, come on. If you write it out, it'll be better with more precision. Turn it off. And if you're on your way back, then just ignore the last sentence. Welcome back. Now, do you got something you really like? I hope so. Now I know it's not the end. All Be all. And it better not be perfect or I'm going to come through this tape and grab you. Your job is not to be perfect, it's to be excellent. Perfection can never really be achieved anyway. If you're truly a perfectionist, then it's never perfect, but it's getting better all the time. So what is the purpose of your life and how does it feel when you think about this is the purpose of my life. Now let me give you one other criteria. Did you write it so you can only achieve it once you die? If so, change it because we don't want you have to die to achieve your purpose, which is what some people have. It should be something you can experience every day. Whatever you do, whether you're just sitting at the lunch counter, you're walking through a grocery store, you're going and conducting your business. I don't care what it is, it should be something you can feel. And you gotta find what that is for you and how to language that, at least for now, so you know the goal of the game. With that, your life takes on a whole nother dimension. So as you go out over the next month, try something. Take this purpose statement and keep in front of you. Put it in the system you use for managing your time and keeping your to do list. Put it up on the wall nearby. And as you look at it each day, don't just write it and forget about it. Think about each day. How can I live my purpose more? And when you go to make a decision about doing something and you're not sure why you're doing it, you can always go back to your purpose. You can do it. Going into a meeting, you don't know why you go to the meeting. I'm going to the meeting. I'm going to be powerful, loving, passionate, outrageous, playful. I'm going to inspire people to see what's possible. If we really serve all the people around us, that's not hard to figure out. You have a guiding principle. No matter what happens, principles don't change. The essence of who you are will not change. The environment may change, the vehicles may change, but what's inside of you won't. Let me say one final thing to you before Cindy often have you take some more time to work on your mission statement. One is if you want to send me your mission statement to Robin's research, I'd love to receive it. I'd love to see how you've languaged the purpose of your life. So if you feel like doing that, please do and address it to me personally. But the other thing is this. I want you to realize that very often not getting your dream gives you your destiny. What I mean by that is this. So often, as I said when we started this tape, people set up a goal or a dream and they don't get it. And then they feel so disappointed and so frustrated, sometimes resentful towards others or to their creator or towards themselves for not accomplishing or achieving it. But the truth of the matter is, whenever something happens, you must find an empowering meaning. You must ask yourself, how can I use this? If this was to serve a higher purpose in my life, how would I use it to serve a higher purpose? If this was going to make me into somebody more, how would I use it to make me more? And very often in life, if you really look back on your life, the worst situations in your life have been the best. If you were willing to trust that it happened for a reason, that somehow, even though this is painful and you'd never want it to happen again, somehow this is going to serve you. Maybe you were hurt by someone or some situation, but because of that, your kids will never be hurt the same way you did when you were a child. Or maybe you went through some tough time, but because of that, you'll be able to help somebody else so they won't have to go through the same pain you did. Maybe the pain made you make a new decision and send you in a brand new direction that brought you to this destiny. I really, truly believe in my heart of hearts that if we're willing to trust and have faith and look for answers and actively pursue them, that every human experience supports us, even those that are painful. And I believe we can probably do them without the pain. But if the pain does strike, or if something happens outside your control, which it will, then instead of living in fear that that'll happen someday, you want to live from the sense of certainty that says, no matter what happens, I will benefit from it because I will look for benefits and therefore I will find them. It's that simple. I'll give you a good metaphor. You know, there's a great movie, I'm sure you recall, it was called Field of Dreams. In it, they said, if you build it, they will come. In the movie, Kevin Costner seeks out an old man by the name of Doc Graham. He's played by Burt Lancaster. And when he first meets this man, he's going to see him to tell him about a field of dreams that Kevin has developed. A place where these old men could Come back and play again, to be young again, to live their dream. And when he meets Doc Graham, he starts to talk to him, and he says, I understand that you only were able to play one inning in your life. Because Doc Graham said, well, yeah, my whole life's dream was always to play baseball, to be a professional. He said, every single day, I gave my all. I lived this passion. He said, you know, I took ground balls and batting practice, and I pushed myself. And he said, finally, I made it. I made it to the big leagues. And the whole season went by without my being able to play. And finally, at the end of the season, in the eighth inning, the coach looked over at me and said, kid, I want you in right field. He said, I was so happy, I couldn't believe it. I ran out on the field. And he said, I stood out there in right field waiting for somebody hit it to me, waiting for my chance, and nothing happened. Then when we came back in, he said, my turn to bat never came. And the next year, they. Without giving me another chance or even giving me a chance, they sent me back to the minor leagues. And he said, I just couldn't take it. I couldn't take going through that again. So I quit. And Kevin Costner said, oh, my God, that's unbelievable. What incredible pain. What devastation. That must have destroyed you. I mean, for any man to be that close to his dream and have your dream pass you by as if it doesn't even know it's you. He said, that must have been the most destructive, painful thing. That. That's a total disaster. And Moonlight Graham said, no, son. He said, playing baseball for only five minutes was not a disaster. Playing baseball for only five minutes was not devastating. What would have been a disaster, what would have been devastating is if I'd only been a doctor for five minutes. You see, if I would have hit that baseball, that might have been the bigger disaster, because then I never would have come to this little town. I never would have saved this man's life or delivered that little girl or got to know the people that now are my best friends in the world. He said, that would have been a disaster. In other words, sometimes not getting your dream gives you what you really want, what you really need, what you're really destined for. And if that part of the movie didn't give it to you, they followed up with another scene. Finally, there's a chance, you know, Kevin Costner makes arrangements, and he said, listen, there's this field of dreams. You can come on it. You can be young Again, you can live your dreams still. And he brings Moonlight Graham to the field with all the other players. And when he steps out on the field, he's young again, and he's wearing his uniform, and he can feel the warm sunshine on his body again and these youthful muscles and the smell of the fresh cut grass and the baseball in his hand. And finally, they're beginning to play. And just as Moonlight Graham is finally stepping into the batter's box, finally he's going to get a chance to get that hit in life, in professional baseball. His dream. Right at that moment, there's a scream in the stands because Kevin Costner and his brother are having a conversation. And his brother doesn't see these players on the field. He doesn't have the faith to experience the beauty and the joy and the fun and what's right there in front of him. He can't see it because of his lack of faith. And as they're arguing about this, he accidentally turns and knocks Kevin Costner's daughter off the top of the stands. She falls and hits her head, and she starts turning blue. And so all of a sudden, they start yelling, oh, my God. Oh, my God. What are we going to do? We got to save her. She's dying. She's dying. And all of a sudden, Costner says, we need a doctor. We need a doctor. And just as he hears those words, Moonlight Graham is about to swing the bat, and he says, I'm a doctor. He starts running full blast to help this child. But all of a sudden, he stops. And he looks down, and there in front of him is the foul line, the foul line that divides the field of dreams from the other world. And he knows if he crosses it, he can never go back. He can never live his dream. He doesn't hesitate anymore. He immediately steps across and he saves the child's life. He loses his dream, but he lives his destiny. The moral is very simple. Inside each one of us, there are desires that we have for our personality. Those things that we want to avoid pain and want to gain pleasure for. But they're also moral needs. Those needs inside of us to go beyond ourselves to something greater, to something more. To give of ourselves in a way that maybe we've never given before. Maybe a way that won't even be acknowledged, but will give us the greatest sense of fulfillment we've ever dreamed of in our lives. I say to you that if what you've tried so far hasn't worked, all it is is preparing you for more. But don't wait for the ultimate day when you save a life. Start saving a life today by enjoying the one you have. Start saving a life today by touching the people around you. Do what Cecil did. Be a person that loves people, animals, beings. Be a person when things don't go well, plant twice as much. Be a person who gives more than anybody else gives. And you'll be living your purpose, no matter how you language it. Hold yourself to a higher standard and someday you'll see something more dramatic. But along the way, you'll enjoy the joy of. Of knowing that you're living your life's purpose today. Isn't that what life's really about? Not waiting till some day? Living it today? Hey. I want to thank you for spending this time with me. I am so grateful to God to have the opportunity to connect with you as if we've been friends for years and we've not even met. But I hope in this time together that you've found some strategies, some tools, and maybe found a piece of yourself, reminded yourself of the truth of how unique and special you are. Not in an egotistical way, but everyone is. Everyone is unique and special in some way. And to think less of yourself is to slap the face of your creator. You've been given gifts, and it's time to make them real. And getting the edge has been about sharing with you some of those tools. And the most important ones are taking that time for yourself. Please do that for yourself consistently. If you did nothing else out of this but that, I promise you, you'll see your future unfold and you'll hear the whispers of destiny, you'll hear the guidance that's within you. But you gotta take time to be alone and do that. If you do it every day, you'll see a change. If you go through that results workshop and just change anything you're not willing to settle for anymore. And be honest with yourself, if you take and make those relationships magnificent and not settle in this area either. My God, everything in life changes when you've got someone to share with that you love. Everyone you've ever been in a relationship with is a bonus to you. It's one of God's great gifts. But if you can find that soulmate, you got everything. And I have to say that for me, finding my soulmate, finding my wife's sage, was the richest day of my life. And every day is richer because of it. I hope for you. My prayer for you is you find someone like that, that you have that kind of love for, and they have that kind of love for you, or if they're there, that you treasure them and you find a way to make that juicier every single day. If you do that, on top of it, you energize and alkalize and get that vitality in your body. If you master your finances, turn your emotions into your friend, and you find your purpose, then the life you create will be so much greater than your dreams. Your old dreams will seem like cartoons by comparison to the life you're living. And if you're able to make those kinds of changes, you'll be able to stand proud knowing you're the one that did it, but also have a special pride of knowing that maybe I helped in some little way to guide you deeper into connecting with yourself. Because the ultimate edge is connection with yourself, with your creator, with your friends, with your family, with life itself. And if you do that, then these seven sessions were certainly well worth both our time. So I wish you well, my friend, and for now I say so long. But I hope I'll see you sometime soon and you'll share with me the story of your success, what you've done. Please email me, write me, or come see me at a seminar. I'd love to meet you personally. But until then, make sure that every day is lived to the fullest. Don't settle for less than you can be. Be one of the few who do versus the many who talk. And be sure to live with passion. God bless. I hope to see you. Foreign. The Global Gaming League is presented by
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Atlas Earth, the fun cashback app. Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my Howie Do It Gaming team take on Gilly the king and wallow. $267 million gaming in an epic Global Gaming League video game showdown. Plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match right now@globalgamingleague.com that's globalgamingleague.com in partnership with Level Up Expo.