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Tyler redick here from 2311 Racing. Another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Chumba. Jump in@chumbacasino.com let's Chumba. No purchase necessary BTW group void where prohibited by law. CTNC21+ sponsored by Chumba Casino. Welcome back to day four of personal power. Hey, I want to congratulate you on your commitment and keeping it to follow through each and every day and build one success on the day before. It's this kind of simple daily input that creates the chains of positive success programming instead of the old conditioning that may have controlled some of your success or failure in the past. So let's get started. Obviously you've already done your exercise. I don't even have to bring that up anymore, do I? Well, good. Today what we're going to study is what is and how to use neuroassociative conditioning step by step. Now this science of neuroassociative conditioning, or knack as I call it, the metaphor I use is giving you the knack of taking control of your life. I developed this science out of frustration, quite honestly. You see, for many years I've been considered to be one of the top experts in the science of neuro linguistic programming. And that was a science that I originally studied with its co founder. I didn't develop it, but I really mastered what he taught. And I was incredibly impressed by the work. It allowed me to make changes in people with lightning, like speed changes that for years they've been trying to make in their own life but had been unable to do. In fact, I became rather famous in a short period of time by getting on national television and basically challenging other therapists saying, bring me your worst patient, give me somebody that you have difficulty with, or give me somebody out of your audience right now that's got a lifetime problem, maybe a phobia, for example. And I'll eliminate that problem right here on television over the next 30 minutes. And it wasn't a magic bullet. It didn't work in every case. But fortunately it worked every time I was on tv. And that really helps. But the bottom line is I got frustrated where it didn't work. You know, I began to wonder, okay, why isn't it working in this situation? Because I was looking for the cure all, if you will. And I also noticed something else that bothered me about nlp and that was that a large number of the people that were involved in it became almost. Well, it became almost like a religion where it was like that was the only Answer. And I wasn't for that because I could look around and see that every kind of therapy works. I don't care what it is you want to change in your life. You always want to change one of two things. You either want to change how you feel about things or you want to change your behavior. You say, no, Tony, no, that's not what I want. I want to change my money situation. Well, the only way you're going to change your money situation is by changing the way you feel and the way you behave. Does that make sense? So I've noticed that I don't care what the problem is. Whether someone was raped. They've had a tremendous fear trauma. Growing up. It was a situation where they were physically harmed something. They were emotionally harmed. It was a bad set of habits. I don't care what it is you want to change in your life. You had a poor relationship with your mother or father. Every form of therapy works some of the time. So rather than making all the therapies wrong, I find out what really did they all have in common that made them successful, when they were successful, and then once they discovered that common element, how could we make that happen more rapidly and with less pain? Those are my criteria for success. So let's take a problem. Let's say, for example, you had a problem with your father and you felt like you're overwhelmed by them, like he controlled you. And you can't express yourself because you are always in a subservient position. And now you live that way in your daily life. And you see it doesn't work because it doesn't allow you to express your feelings. You don't go for it 100%. You feel shut down. How would you deal with that? Well, there are a zillion ways using various types of therapies. Let's take a look. We. We've already said that what we do is based on what we associate to things. So again, if you associate expressing your opinion is going to equal pain, you're not going to do it. So what is the therapist's job get you to associate that expressing yourself could mean pleasure and not pain, that not expressing yourself would mean pain. What are the various ways of going about that? Well, one would be to use gestalt therapy. In gestalt therapy, what would you do? Well, they would take you in and the therapist would understand that a lot of the frustration and challenges in your life come from your beliefs about your relationship with your father and what you can and can't do. So what would this good gestalt therapist do, Highly likely they'd pull out a chair and they'd say, see this chair? This is your dad. You gotta change how you feel about him and realize you're in power. What he'll tell you is I want you to scream and yell, let him know how you really feel. Let him know that you're in charge. Let him have it. And so you go, well, dad, I don't feel like you gave me enough space to communicate. And he'll go, no, no. Express how you really feel. Let it out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure enough, finally, you may get you emotional enough, you're going, dad, I'm in charge. I'm a big person now. And you know what? As silly as this sounds, it works. If you really think that that chair for a moment, if in your head you associate, that's your dad and you feel strong. There's your dad and you feel strong, and there's your dad and you feel strong. For the first time in your life, when you think of your dad, you may feel strong, be able to express yourself clearly. So it does work, as silly as it may sound. Now, obviously this is a generalization about gestalt, but it gives you a good picture. Now let's try another form of therapy. Let's say you got the same problem, but you go to rational emotive therapy. There a competent therapist is going to teach you that your frustration is not having anything to do with your boss or your dad or your brother or your sister. But specifically, it's not your dad. It's caused by your own irrational beliefs about your dad. Now you have the pain of feeling stupid for believing all this crazy stuff. And it's also making you suffer a little bit. And so your brain finally says, I don't want that pain. And he says, look, if you just change your beliefs, you could feel better. And through this conversation, if you trust the therapist and if they're competent enough, pretty soon you may change what you associate to your relationship with your dad. Sure enough, your behavior changes again. But notice what has changed when it works, because it doesn't always work. The neuro association has changed. That's when the therapy works. When you now have a new meaning for what being with your dad means, you have a new meaning for relationship. Let's try another approach. Let's say you try Rogerian counseling. There the therapist listens and reflects back what you say about yourself with your father, with unconditional positive regard with you and without any judgment for you. He or she will Tell you that you have the resources within yourself to solve the problem. And what they'll do is create a place for you to feel very, very appreciated and loved, hold you in a very strong and respected light. And as you feel better about yourself and you talk about this, you have kind of reputation to live up to. And as a result, pretty soon you may begin to change your associations in your mind about who you are and what that relationship really is. As a result, ammo, all of a sudden the change you wanted has happened. You feel free, now you can go out and communicate and be who you are. Again, simple approach. Let's say you got the same problem. You want to go for Freudian therapy or as we call it, non directive therapy. There what happens is you lie on a couch and talk to yourself for about four or five years. I'm being only slightly exaggerating here. And what happens though is that you say things, you ask questions and all they do is reflect them back to get you to think about them. And by reevaluating your life in so many different details and you're feeling different now than you did then. Eventually, hopefully you make new neuro associations. Although there's no guarantee in this therapy because the therapist is not to direct you. That's what non directive therapy means. The only challenge I have with it is how long it takes. So all therapies work and we've already identified what happens at the moment they actually work. In other words, when somebody has a breakthrough, what is that breakthrough? The breakthrough is at that moment the meaning of what's happened in their life has changed. They've changed what they associate to that person or that situation. For example, if somebody had been raped, they're going to continue to have trauma until they change the meaning. In other words, the reason they feel upset and the anger and the hurt and the pain, they have every right to. But the reason is what that means to them. That means they were violated. It means their life's out of control. It means, let's say that they're dirty. Whatever it is that they've associated in their head is making them feel painful. Now people who change that have changed the meaning. There comes a point where that rape now means that they're stronger than they've ever been in their life and they can now help other people. Or that rape now means that it'll never happen again because they know how to handle themselves. Or that rape means it's a chance for them to expand. I don't know what it is. It's different for every person. But if the meaning doesn't change, the person's life doesn't change. There's a gentleman by the name of Viktor Frankl who wrote a book that you should read. It's called Man's Search for Meaning. Fabulous book. Viktor Frankl was a psychiatrist of Jewish heritage who during World War II had the unbelievably unfortunate experience of being locked up in a Nazi concentration camp where death seems certain. Now, the interesting thing that happened there is while most people just gave up and died, he somehow, through a series of experiences, began to trigger and associate to being in that camp the possibility of power and pleasure. What do I mean by that? Well, what he noticed was that maybe 1 out of 25 people were going to live. But he wanted to know what made that 1 out of 25 make it while everybody else around them died. And as he began to study and pay attention and talk to these people, he found that the difference is what they associated to their experience in the camp. For most people, being in the camp meant instant death. They gave up right away or they began to think about and focus on continuously, why has God done this to me? Why am I going through all this pain? The people who survived developed a reason to do so. That is, they developed a meaning for their suffering. In other words, instead of just suffering for no reason, which means ultimate pain, they said, I am suffering so that I can come back and tell the story to my children and make sure this never ever happens again on earth. And for them, the ability to come back and tell that story, the ability to touch the future, was enough pleasure that it enabled them to create a meaning out of their present pain. In other words, if they could just hang in here through this pain, the ultimate pleasure in long term would be worth much more than the pain they were going through. They had a reason to live. They had a meaning. And by changing the meaning of their suffering to something that would eventually make a difference, they were able to make it through. And they had a will to live that was so strong they pulled themselves through the toughest times. I'm here to tell you that what we've talked about on the last two tapes is nothing but changing meaning. Changing the meaning of dieting to pleasure instead of pain, Changing the meaning of developing your own business to ultimate freedom instead of massive risk and potential loss. Changing what stopping smoking means. For most people, stopping smoking means, oh my gosh, I may gain weight, oh my gosh, I'm giving something up. And as long as you're giving something up, it means pain changing instead to freeing yourself, changing your associations or the meaning of what a relationship means from. It's a leash around my neck that takes away from my freedom to. It's one of the most empowering, fun, powerful, transforming experiences I could pray for in my life. That process of transforming meaning, changing what we associate is what all therapies do when they work so you don't have to go to therapy. You can learn to do it on yourself just by changing what you link up inside your own head. Having seen that the real difference what changes people is when they change meaning, what I began to do is analyze. Well, how come some people did that in one session and some took seven years? Well, part of it was the approach, obviously the type of therapy that was used. But also part of it was where was that person and their level of commitment to making a change. I mean, I know some people, I mean, you could change them in a heartbeat. Didn't take any effort at all. Other people, boy, you really had to push. And some people never seemed to want to change at all. They kept coming, they'd want to pay somebody, they want to go talk to the therapist, but they don't really want to change. So I began to look at what was it that got somebody to the point of really making the change in this session so that I could develop a way to create results in people literally in one session instead of 500. When I taught NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming, people would come see me and they'd want me to change them. And I would. I'd go in there and change their associations. And it really worked. But I also noticed that in some cases, not most, but some, after a couple years, the change would go back. Let's say somebody was smoking and I got them to link to smoking. Massive pain and a not smoking pleasure or. Well, once that happened, sure enough, their behavior changed. Their brain needed to avoid pain, so it avoided cigarettes. And it wanted pleasure. So it moved towards the new behavior that we installed. But the whole idea of programming basically set me up. And that is, I got people actually thinking that I was doing something to them that they couldn't change back, which is not true two or three years later. They needed some new way of changing the way they felt. And they went back to cigarettes for whatever reason, and they could go, see, this stuff doesn't work. And I'd say, what do you mean it doesn't work? It worked for three years. They go, yeah, but didn't work forever. What I developed was a new metaphor and the metaphor is that of conditioning. And here's the difference. Recently had somebody come to my house to tune my piano. Now, I don't play the piano, but I've got this great piano that sounds logical, doesn't it? Somebody in my family is going to start playing it. It looks good, though. Hey, what the heck? Bottom line is, my kids are finally learning to play. So we have this guy come in and tune our piano, this great grand piano. And so the guy comes in and he adjusts the piano. And the way he tunes it is he changes the amount of tension that's going on these wires. There's literally tons of tension on them. And in his doing this, I thought, okay, well, that's it. And he said, no, no, I got to come back next week. And I said, what do you mean? I thought you just tuned it. He said, yeah. He said, but see, it's been stretched in this way for so long that what I got to do is I got to retune it and I got to keep stretching this new pattern in. I got to condition those wires so they stay this way. And I said, why can't you just do it once? And last he goes, oh, because it's been pulling in that other way for so long now that you just got to condition it. And sure enough, even while he was there, before he left, we tested it, and some of them had already gone back to the old way, so he adjusted them again, and now he has to come back out in another week, and then he's going to come back out again, I guess in two weeks. Then he comes back out in a month. Then he comes out every three months. Then he comes out eventually every six months. Even to keep it the way it is, he's got to condition it at least twice a year. And that's my metaphor for life as well. I didn't become successful in my life because one day I reprogrammed myself and everything was perfect. Most of the success that I experienced, the abundance I experience mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, is because every single day I condition myself to be at my best, to feel at my best, to give my best. And that's what neuro associative conditioning is about. That's why I don't talk about just programming per se as much as I talk about conditioning. Hey, you would not run out if you wanted to be physically full of energy and vibrant. You wouldn't run out and work out one time, say, do aerobics one time and say, boy, I'm glad that's done. Now I'll be healthy for life. That's not how it works. What you gotta be able to do is condition yourself day after day. And pretty soon you love the conditioning. You begin to get addicted to it. It's just part of your lifestyle. You wouldn't get up and not brush your teeth. You wouldn't get up and not shower or do your hair. So you shouldn't get up and not condition yourself for success each day. So start thinking about this as a lifestyle, not a tape program that you listened to a long time ago, but something you're conscious of daily. So how do we condition ourselves to really have our changes last? Let me share with you what I think the three fundamental key distinctions are that cause people to change when they do change and the change lasts. These are the three fundamentals of the science of neuro associative conditioning systems. And here's number one. In order to get a change where it's going to absolutely happen and it's going to last, you must first get leverage on yourself. What do I mean by leverage? I mean you must get to the point where you believe that something must change, that you must change it and that you can change it. Right now you got to get to the point where you feel like not changing would be painful, massively painful, and to change would mean pleasure. In other words, you got to use all things we talked about up until now. You've got to get that connection. If you're only at the point of believing that you should change or you could change or you oughta change or you might change, that is not enough to create long lasting change in most cases. So you gotta get yourself to the point where you've got leverage and there are lots of ways to get it. Some people will change out of rapport. You know, they go to a therapist, they really like the therapist. The therapist wants them to change, so they do. I mean it literally can be that simple. Sometimes some people change because, God, if they don't, they're going to lose everything. Some people, in spite of all kinds of pain, still don't change because in their head they think I don't have to, or they think I'm doing this because somebody else wants me to. Or they think in their head, well, gosh, you know, changing would be too fearful, too painful. So in order to make a change last, you got to get to that point where it must change, you must change it and you can change it. That is number one. I'll give you an example. When people come to Me sometimes for private consulting. I've trained all kinds of other people to do this work now. So I don't do private consulting. But invariably I still have a few people that want to do it with me personally for whatever reason or no one else has seemed to get in the results. So I'll take the challenge on personally. Well, first of all, I make it very difficult for these people to ever get to the point of working with me in the first place. I make them have to go through a waiting list so hopefully they'll decide to change on their own. I make them have to pay a fairly large chunk of money to be able to do this as well. But even after all of that, when they finally come and they've flown out to meet me and we're sitting down face to face, I then will turn to them and say, look, I don't know if this is the right thing for you. And they'll say what? I'll say, look, before you invest any more time or any more capital and before I invest my time, I got to know that you're really absolutely committed to changing. Because I got to tell you something, I only work with people that are going to change right now, not after 15 sessions. I do one stop therapy and that's what we've got to do. Otherwise you'll screw up my entire record. Usually they'll laugh at that. But I'll say, I'm serious. I won't work with you unless I'm convinced you must change. Not you should not, you might, but you must. I then have them go on and they got to convince me they're taken back a little bit. But for the next 15 minutes they got to try and convince me how they absolutely must change their life. Because if they don't, it'll cost them this in their relationship and it'll cost them this in their health. It'll cost them this in their self esteem. It's already cost them all these areas and they're tired of it and they can't take it anymore. You remember the movie, don't you? I'm mad as heck and not going to take it anymore. You got to get to that point. That's called leverage. That's when change happens. And you know what? When they're to that point, my job is easy. I simply go to step two. What's step two? I simply interrupt their present limiting associations, their limiting pattern of association. So for example, somebody's got a phobia and what happens right now when they see an elevator or even Think of one. They have a patterned way of responding. They have an immediate association, and that association is elevator equals ultimate pain. And immediately their body freaks out. So what do I do? Well, I first got them to leverage so that I know they're going to change, and I know they're committed to it. And then I do whatever it takes to change that association, to interrupt that pattern. So the minute they start thinking about, let's say, this elevator, and they start to freak out, all of a sudden I reach over and I say, stand up. And they go, huh? I say, stand up. And right at that moment, it interrupts their pattern. And I say, okay, sit down. They sit back down again, and I say, well, tell me about this elevator thing. And they go, huh? And sure enough, they start to go into the thing again. And all of a sudden, I ask them a question. Let me ask you a question. Right in the middle of them thinking about the elevator, would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000? Instantly, what happens? Their brain goes, what? And again, I've interrupted the pattern. I'll do all kinds of things. The key to interrupting somebody's pattern is you want to do something they don't expect, something that will jol. It's kind of like, have you ever been so caught up in a conversation that you were, like, totally immersed in it, and then somebody came by, stood right next to you, asked you a question, and had nothing to do with what you were talking about in order to answer them? You went over here and answered them, and you came back and you couldn't remember what you were talking about. Have you ever had that happen? Even when you were, like, real committed to talking about this particular thing? What it did is that person interrupted your pattern, and it was hard for you to get back to it? I mean, think of it this way. If you interrupt somebody's pattern enough, eventually they can't ever get back to it. Think of your mind as being like a jukebox. And in that jukebox, you have a zillion little records. And these records, at any moment in time, you can play any one of them. And depending upon which one you play will determine how you feel. So if you played a sad song record, you're going to feel lousy. If you play a positive record, you're going to feel really great. The challenge is, for a lot of us in life, something happens and it, like, pushes our buttons. And instantly we start playing one of these records, one that makes us feel sad or feels frustrated or feels angry. And what we've got to learn to do, though, is interrupt those patterns to change those records. What would happen if I took a record out of your brain, a memory, if you would, or a pattern, and I took that record and I just started scribbling across it. I took a knife and went across it, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. You'll never be able to play that record the same way again. That's called interrupting somebody's pattern. I'll give you another simple example. I was doing a seminar one time, and this woman came up to me. We had just done a session. It was pretty powerful on relationships. And she came up to me and she said, Mr. Robbins, she said, I've got this problem with my husband and I. And she began to cry like crazy. Now, I really care about people very deeply. So initially, in the early days of my really working with people, I would immediately say, hey, hey, please relax. It's okay. Please don't worry. Whatever it is, we'll work it out. But you know what the problem with that is? That's what everybody does. So rarely does that interrupt somebody's pattern. In other words, they expect you to say, it's okay. And it doesn't usually change the pattern. They go, well, yeah, I guess you're right. And then they go and run the pattern again. Does that sound familiar? So what I now learn to do is jolt people to literally interrupt their pattern so they can't get back into it to change their neuro association radically. And I do it in some pretty outrageous ways. So she comes up and says, Mr. Robbins, I just. My husband and I, we give up. And she starts to cry. And I was drinking a glass of water. So I took the glass and went. And I dumped this water on her. She jumped about 4ft. She said, what, are you crazy? What are you doing? I said, oh, nothing. I just smiled and I said, tell me about you and your husband. She said, what? And now she's laughing while she thinks about her husband and herself. Ah, a whole new pattern. And she goes, what are you talking about? I said, well, tell me about you and your husband. I smile and I drink a little more of my water. She goes, you're a little crazy. I said, well, that's true, but go ahead and tell me. So she thinks for a few moments, and she goes, well, my husband and I. And all of a sudden she's fine about it. Well, we've been having some problems. And I said, but no, you were crying before. Remember? You were crying. And I tried to get her back there. And she said, oh, yeah, well, that's because of. She started crying again. I took my one. Shh. I nailed her again. I mean, this time her makeup is kind of dripping, right? There are people standing around now, by the way, you shouldn't try this unless you've got some strong rapport skills as well, right? And got a strong connection. But she knew I cared, even though I seemed a little crazy. And she started laughing. She goes, what are you doing? It's crazy. And she's dripping the stuff off her face. I said, nothing, Just tell me about you and your husband. She says, oh, we're fine. I said, no, no, no, come on, tell me. I got to tell me one more time. A little bit more water. After that, anytime she thought about her husband, she started to crack up. She said, we're absolutely fine. That's called leverage. And interrupting somebody's pattern water was the leverage. And the pattern interrupt happened over and over again until pretty soon she couldn't play it again. When she thought about her husband, her, she started to laugh. And out of laughter, she was able to come up with some better solutions on her own. She wasn't stuck in the pattern. Does that make sense? We've got to interrupt our pattern to create new results. And that's exactly what this is about. The third key to creating long term change then is once you've got leverage, it must change. Once you've interrupted your present pattern, then the third key is you've got to condition yourself to have a new association, a new empowering association. So what I got this woman to do, for example, was I got her to link laughter to her relationship. By having laughter all of a sudden again, she's able to deal with the situation or with somebody with a phobia. I get them to think of times in their life when they felt incredibly strong and powerful. And I get them to associate feeling strong and powerful to, let's say, taking the elevator ride. And I do it over and over again and condition them until pretty soon, when they think of the elevator ride, they feel powerful. What happens? They feel differently, they behave differently. The problem is handled. And this can be done with virtually anything as long as you get enough leverage. Let me give you another simple example of this. I was doing a seminar one time and I was telling the audience basically what I've shared with you, that the bottom line in life is that if you're not doing something, it's because you associate more pain to doing it than not doing it. Now, I had a Woman who raised her hand and said, look, there's an exception to that. She says, for example, my husband and I, we'd like to get together and spend more time, but we just don't. I said, well, why don't you? She goes, well, we just can't. I said, you mean you aren't committed to. And she said, no, you know, well, I guess you're right. We aren't 100%. I said, if you were 100% committed, could you find a way to spend time together? She said, well, of course. I said, then why don't you? She goes, well, I guess because we're not committed. I said, why not? Boy, that opened up something. She said, well, I don't know. I just, you know, I love my husband, but I can't commit 100% to him. I said, really? Well, let me ask you a question. If you don't commit to him, there's only one reason. You think committing is going to mean more pain than not committing. Is that fair? She thought for a moment. She goes, well, I guess that's true. I said, how come? Where did you get that thing linked up in your head? And what turned out to be was that when she was growing up, she gave 100% in her mind to her family. She gave 100% in her mind to her parents. She loved them 100% and she felt like here she was giving, giving, giving, and was totally committed to loving them. But she didn't feel like they gave back. She felt unloved. She felt like they didn't reciprocate. And so as a result, she felt these tremendous feelings of loss. And that meant a lot of pain for her. So somewhere along the way, her brain linked up. If you commit and love somebody 100%, then what's going to happen is it's going to mean pain to you. She wasn't even aware of this consciously, but now all of a sudden it was affecting her relationship with her husband where they had drifted apart, they weren't spending time together. Part of it was just not feeling 100% committed, not being willing to give 100% of herself emotionally and physically and spiritually and being with her husband. So how do you help her to change her neuro association? What's step one? Do you remember? Get leverage. So I had to help her get to the point where she believed that she must change this pattern. So I said, well, let me ask you a question. I didn't tell her she must change it, by the way. I got her to tell me I Said, if you don't change this pattern, if you still don't commit to your husband, how will it affect your relationship over the next three, four, or five years? While she thought for a moment or two, and she said, well, I think it would mean divorce. I said, how come? She said, well, if I'm not committed to him, if I don't love him 100%, he's got to feel that. And if he doesn't feel loved at 100%, then he probably won't give me 100%, and then I won't feel loved, and then that'll make me mad, and that'll just generate all kinds of problems. I said, isn't that what's already happening? And she said, yeah, it is. And so what I got her to do is begin to associate what pain to her present behavior to her present pattern so that she'd absolutely feel like it must change now. And we went more and more and more until she began to tell me she didn't do this, how what a lousy role model it would be for her children and how even if she divorced him, no man would ever feel totally loved by her or would ever commit to her if she wasn't willing to commit until pretty soon, there was so much pain associated not changing, she felt like she had to. And I said, if you were to change, what would happen? And she said, well, gosh, you know, there's a good chance that if I did change that he, in fact, would give all his love to me too, and our relationship would get better and our home life would be better. And she went on and on and on with all the pleasure. I'd accomplished step one, without a doubt. So now I had leverage with her. She knew she must change, but she still had that pattern, that fear that said, yeah, if I don't change, it's going to mean pain. But what if I commit and I give him 100%, but he doesn't love me back? What if I commit and I still don't get the love? What if I commit and I still get pain? And I said, well, let me help you out on this. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever driven a car? She said, what? And it just instantly interrupted her pattern. Here she was caught up in her fear that, God, if she commits, it would mean pain. I want to change that pattern. I want to interrupt it, and I want to create a new empowering pattern of association. So I said, have you ever driven a car? She said, well, yeah. I said, have you driven a car? Down a two lane highway that winds through the mountains where all that was separating you from the cars coming from the other direction was a little yellow line? She said, yeah. And I said, well, I got a question for you. Is it possible that even though you were committed to driving on your side of the line that the people on the other side were not as committed? Is that possible? She said, well, yeah. I said, do you have any guarantee that just by your being committed to stay on your side of the line that they're going to stay on theirs too? She said, well, no. I said, in fact, is it possible that you could experience a lot of pain driving a car like that? That the cars that are coming the other way 55 miles an hour might accidentally, even without meaning to hurt you, come on your side and crash and kill you instantly? Is that possible? She said, well, of course. I said, then I got a question for you. How could you possibly drive on a road like that? How could you possibly drive through the mountains knowing there are cars of people you don't even know who are coming down the highway at the opposite side when you don't even know they're committed? And then I smiled. She just said she didn't know her husband was committed to her. I said, how do you do that? How do you drive down a road and commit to your side not knowing what they're going to do? She said, well, you just got to trust. I said, oh. I said, what happens if you don't trust? She said, well, then you can't get from here to there. Then you're trapped. I said, oh. And what she began to do was create a new association that she was trapping herself. I said, you mean you can't have what you want if you don't just trust and commit? She said, yeah, I hear you, I hear you. That's true. So what did I do? I interrupted her old pattern and I simultaneously helped her to create a new one. I said, let me ask you a question. What's the best way to receive love? She said, well, to give love. I said, well, when you're being totally loving, do you usually receive love even without trying? She said, oh yeah. And I got her to associate that committing and giving love meant receiving tons of love. At the end of this point, I said, let me ask you a question. What if your husband doesn't commit to you? What if you give him 100% and he doesn't give back? She said, well, look, some man will appreciate it. And if I'm always giving, I'm going To have a man in my life who appreciates it, there's no doubt about it. And I said, so what are you committed to doing? She says, I'm committed to go give him 1000%, give him everything I got of myself. If that scares him, I'll give him even more. If that scares him, I'll give him even more. And if he disappears and runs off, well, that's his loss, but I'm gonna really go for it 100%. And she did, simply by changing her associations. Go through the three steps. Get leverage. Get where you must change. Two, interrupt the pattern. Three, create a new association that empowers you. Now, I could have gotten the same result using gestalt therapy, rational emotive therapy, virtually any form of therapy. But I'll tell you what the key is. The key is the distinctions about leverage and interrupting people's patterns. That's the key to making the change. I mean, I'll give you an example. Recently I heard on the late night on the news, there was an advertisement for a television program. And on this morning television program, they said they were going to have an expert who does five minute phobia cures. Well, that's pretty much how I became famous. I got on television and basically eliminated people's phobias right there on camera. So I figured, hey, maybe it's one of my students, or maybe it's one of the psychiatrists or psychologists I've trained. The next morning I tuned in on the show and it wasn't one of my own students. This guy had a totally different technique for eliminating phobias. And here's what it was. First of all, they brought this man on. He was a psychologist, and they brought him on and they said, look, okay, he's going to eliminate this man's phobia. And the man came up and he said, this man has a phobia to snakes. Sir, how do you feel about snakes? The man said, not very good. Wow. Major phobia. When I deal with people with a phobia, I look for somebody who's out of control, you know, somebody who's screaming and that stuff. I thought he didn't exactly pick a real challenging subject, but, okay, here we go. So then he's going to test it. So I figured, you know, what I've done on a regular basis is go out and I grab a real snake and just scare the heck out of somebody and see that it really works. And then I test it afterwards to see if it works by handing them a snake and having them Wrap it around their body. In fact, I did it with a giant boa constrictor on a couple of television shows that when I first saw the boa constrictor, I had to work on my neuro associations. But anyway, the bottom line is this guy brings out a plastic snake and he brings a snake and he pushes in front of the guy and goes. The guy looks and goes, oh, all right, well, let's see what he's going to do. So sure enough, this is on national television. Sure enough, the guy reaches out and he goes, what I'm going to do with this man is a technique called temporal tapping. What he does is he has the man stand there and he says, okay, sir, I want you to think about snakes. He takes his fingers and he starts smacking this guy on the side of his head, on his temples. He goes, wham, wham, wham. Think about snakes. Wham, wham, wham. Think about snakes. Wham, wham, wham. Think about snakes. Wham, wham, wham. Well, after doing this about five or six times, the guy goes, do you feel any different? The man goes, yeah, my head hurts. He said, but do you feel any different about snakes? He goes, well, I don't think so. He goes, alright, think about snakes. Wham, wham. Think about snakes. Whammy. Wham. And what is this man doing? If it works, he's interrupting this man's pattern of association in his nervous system. Are you following me? In other words, this man used to think of snakes and get this unbelievable painful fear feeling in his gut. Now instead, he's got this pain in his head. Now that may not sound like much, but it is a change and it will take him out of fear. Well, the guy did it over and over again and it didn't work. All of a sudden this psychologist breaks out into this massive sweat on national television. He's having a pain called failure on national tv and all of a sudden my heart goes out to him. I thought nobody wants to be in this situation, right? They say, all right, we're going to cut to a commercial and then we'll come back. Meanwhile, he's still going, think about the snakes. Wham, wham. Think about the snakes. Wham, wham, whammy. Well, when they come back from the commercial, we don't see the man with a snake phobia and there's no mention of what happened. Instead, there's a new woman here and she has a phobia to ladders. And so he says, okay, now think about ladders. Wham. Wham, wham. Think about ladders. Wham, wham. Think about ladders. Wham, wham, wham. And he keeps doing this over and over again. He says, do you feel any different? She goes, well, yeah. He goes now. And you could see she did feel different. She didn't look as scared. Think about ladders. Wham, wham, wham. After three or four minutes or five minutes of this, maybe a little bit more, they finally bring out this ladder and they ask her to climb up it. Well, she walks over. She goes, yeah, I think I can do it. I feel different. She takes a step on the first step, then the second step, then about the third step, and she kind of gets a little scared, but she kind of stays on the third step. And then she comes on down. Well, the audience claps like crazy, and the host of the show comes over and says, hey, that was really great. Boy, you must really be proud of yourself. She goes, yeah, I'm not only proud, I'm excited. Because you know what? My husband said that if this therapist guy could help me and I could get up at least three stairs, that he'd give me a shopping spree and he would paint the whole house. Interesting. She walked in with leverage. It was a must for her, because for her, being able to do this meant she could have lots of pleasure and get out of some pain. Pretty hot deal. So no wonder step one was handled. So all this man had to do is step two and step three fell into place. And the problem is, when you go to a therapist and it doesn't happen, it's because they don't have leverage on you or they haven't interrupted your pattern or you haven't created a new pattern. So just go through those steps for yourself. And you probably don't need a therapist 99.9% of the time. And I think most therapists would agree with me on this. What's interesting about this story, though, is the host turned back to this guy and he had like three minutes left in the show, and he said, well, one out of two sure isn't bad. That's a pretty good deal. But why don't you go here and work with John some more? Because we didn't get the result with him. Let's see if you can pull it off. And he goes, no, no, no. He says, I. I think John's problem is that he's sick and, you know, he's probably got a virus. So that when I'm doing this, it's affecting his way. His body is processing this. And John says, I don't got a virus. And he says, well, you know, he may not know it, but he probably has one. John says, no, no, no. The host says, well, come on over, why don't you go ahead and work on him anyway? And the guy goes, all right. And he gets up there and wham, wham, wham. Think about snakes. Wham, wham, Think about snakes. Wham, wham. Nothing works, right? Finally at the end, right, the guy's sweating like crazy and he said, you know, I think I could help him in private. I think he's just uncomfortable cause all these people are watching him. And the guy goes, I'm not uncom. I thought, this poor therapist, he's getting beat up here, right? He's gonna have a phobia to going on TV shows after this. Well, the bottom line is finally right, the show's about to end. And this gentleman who had the phobia says, you know, I think the only reason I'm not changing is I don't really want to. I thought, what better example that leverage was missing. So those are the three keys to neuro associative conditioning. Use them well and you can make any change you want in your life because you understand the key elements that will make the change happen now, not six months from now or a year now. And I want you to know I know there's a lot to absorb here, so you might want to listen to it again. And each of these three steps we'll be using over and over again over the 30 day period here. So you'll get used to them and you'll get a lot more examples, for example, on how to interrupt people's patterns, how to interrupt your own patterns, fear patterns if you will, sabotage patterns. In fact, we have some specific tapes during these 30 days that are only on how to interrupt those patterns and make the changes. So take heart. For right now though, let's start to use this at least. Let's begin to get some leverage on ourselves, interrupt our patterns and create some new associations. Let's start with an assignment. Please pull out your journal right now. And let's start out by taking those four things you wanted to change, four things that you should be doing but you weren't following through on. And let's make sure that you really make these things happen. How. Let's get some major leverage on ourselves right now. I want you to write down 10 reasons for each one of these four. 10 reasons why you absolutely must make this happen now. And make sure that the musts include what it'll cost you if you don't, and all the great stuff you'll get by doing them. And we kind of started this process, but let's really hone it in so you feel major leverage, that this is something that must change. You must change it, and you can change it. And will right now write down why you know you absolutely can change this. In other words, make sure that that first step of leverage is absolutely handled. Second assignment, I want you to make sure that you interrupt your own pattern. And the way you're going to do that is I want you to write four or five ways, then you can interrupt your negative patterns. So, for example, if you overeat, I want you to make one of your assignments to go to a gathering and not eat anything. Go to lunch with someone, have a social meeting, have a conversation, and experience the pleasure of being at a meal without having to eat to get the pleasure. Or let's say you're in the middle of an argument, and right in the middle of the argument you have a pattern up now that you've designed for yourself which says you're going to grab your nose and make a silly noise like whoop, whoop, whoop. Something totally absurd, that when you're in the middle of it, the way you're going to get yourself out, you're going to reach up and go, whoop, whoop, whoop. And you've got a way to interrupt that pattern massively. It'll also interrupt the pattern of the people around you. In the middle of your arguing like this, all you reach up your nose and go, whoa, whoa, whoa. That will definitely change their state. They'll be wondering what's wrong with you, but they'll also begin to laugh and you'll get caught out of the pattern. You won't get stuck. For example, if you ever been so caught up in a pattern of arguing, for example, you forgot what you're arguing for, but you knew you had to win. Well, this is the way to get out of it. Interrupt the pattern, do something hysterical, do something weird, do something funny. But specifically, right now, make a list of four or five pattern interrupts you could do. You might want to create some of these for your relationships. The more you can do that, interrupt your own patterns, the more power you have over yourself. Here's the third assignment on this exercise. Create a new association to the change you want. In other words, whatever change you want to make happen, make sure you link tons of pleasure. And one way to do that is just think about all the things you're going to gain in your life and feel the gains. All the things are going to be more pleasurable. All things will be better by you making these change. And do it over and over again by repetition. So whenever you think of it, you think of all the great things you're going to get as a result, that new association will stay and things will change. So the assignment is, first, get leverage on yourself. Write down 10 reasons why you absolutely must change this behavior or action. Also, write all the reasons why you know absolutely that you can do it. Number two, design four or five ways to interrupt your patterns. Four or five ways to get yourself out of a limiting association. And then thirdly, over and over again, condition yourself. Think about things over and over again. Feel them and think about them until you have a new association that gets you to follow through. And it's effortless. What will you want to do it consistently? Will you feel compelled and driven? Have some fun with this. I know it's new. So was riding a bicycle at one time. And you may have fallen off in the beginning, but you didn't go, oh, I'm a failure. You just got up and did it again. So if this feels a little awkward at first, that's okay. Just go for it. As we do it over and over again, you're gonna get good at it where you don't even have to think about it. You can just produce the result. Go to work or to play, if you will. I'll see you on the next tape tomorrow. Live with passion.