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Welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on anything goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on and then I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topic is personal style, which I find to be a complex topic because personal style is sort of undefinable. Like there is a definition for the term personal style, but personal, personal style is undefinable. It's unique to the person wearing the clothing. It's unique to the person who has the style. That's the whole point. And so that's what makes it sort of complicated to discuss. There's no guide to personal style because only you can figure out your personal style. I mean, one can give tips and tricks on how to discover one's personal style, but. But there's no step by step guide because it's such a personal experience in such a personal form of expression. But I will say the topic of personal style has only become more complicated as trend cycles have sped up, causing fatigue among people who enjoy fashion to the point where now personal style has become a trend as a response to trend cycles being impossible to keep up with. Which kind of goes against the entire ethos of what personal style is. Because the whole point of personal style is that it rejects trends. It's unique to one's own character and taste. But now that personal style is a trend, what personal style is has become even harder to, to define, to point out, to recognize. Because there are certain people out there who have taken this sort of trend of personal style and found themselves in it. But there's also some people who have decided to copy people on the Internet who have a very distinct personal style and then label that as their own personal style, if that makes sense. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Right? Like, I don't, I don't think there's anything morally wrong with following trends. I really don't like. If that's a hobby for you, if that's something you're really passionate about, really excited about, and something that you can do somewhat responsibly from a consumer perspective, like not over consuming or whatever, even if you're over, who am I to judge? I'm not going to tell people what to do or what's right and wrong. Like, I just, it's not my place. But my point in saying all of this is personal style has become more complicated of a topic than ever because the concept of personal style is trendy, if that makes sense. This episode is presented to you by ebay. We all have that piece. You know the one, the thing that's so you. You've basically become known for it. And if you don't have yours yet, you'll find it on ebay. Let me put you on people. Ebay is where you'll find those. One of a kind. Can't stop researching. Stay up dreaming about pieces. And again, I'm talking about that off the Runway red leather bomber. You've had your eye on the trendy top with the cowboy on it or that sleek fleece from the 2017 colorway. All of these finds are on ebay, and they even offer millions of main character pieces backed by authenticity guarantee. Ebay is the place for pre loved and vintage fashion. Ebay, things people love. I like to believe that I've found my personal style. I would like to believe that I went through this journey over the last few years of looking at my closet, analyzing my style, acknowledging that it's sort of a hot mess. I had way too many clothes, and I had no defined sense of style. I just kind of would wear whatever. I would kind of just throw shit at the wall and see if it stuck. I collected a large amount of clothing to give me maximum options when getting dressed so that every day I could wear something completely unique. But it sort of backfired. Didn't really work out. Just left me wearing outfits half the time that I wasn't really happy with. And I also came to the conclusion that having that many pieces of clothing was toxic and bad for a bazillion different reasons. And so I went through my closet, got rid of, I'm not kidding, 90% of the clothes that I had and really defined what my personal style is at this point and in my life. And I feel pretty confident in it. Like, I feel like it's the most consistent it's ever been. But I'm not 100% sure that I have it all figured out. Even though I feel like I have a good sense of what my personal style is today. I'm young in, who knows what I'm going to like, in five years. It might remain consistent. It might completely change, and I might, five years down the line, realize, oh, wait, now this is my personal style. Who knows? So I don't think I have it all figured out, but I definitely have it more figured out now than I ever have before in a very tangible way. Like, my closet. I have a very specific color palette. I have a lot of silhouettes that I gravitate towards. Like, I feel like to Me, it feels cohesive and it feels like me. So, as always, take my advice with a grain of salt. I still have a lot of learning and growing to do in the fashion department. I mean, I have a lot of learning and growing to do in every department, and that's exciting to me. But I have to preface with that because I'm about to give advice, and so I need to tell you where I'm at before you go ahead and take my advice. You know what I mean? Well, without further ado, let's get into it. Okay. Somebody said I'm shifting from a very young style and I want to become more mature and sophisticated, but I have no idea how. I think the first thing you have to do is understand what makes style feel juvenile versus mature. I mean, I think we all have sort of a basic idea of what feels young, juvenile, immature versus mature and sophisticated. I think if it's a goal for you to mature your style, you need to clearly define it in your mind. You need to have a very clear understanding of what feels juvenile and what feels mature. I would say in my head, personally, when I think of immature juvenile clothing, I think of bright clothing, bright colors. I think of busyness, lots of little random details. I think of trendy things, and I think of basic silhouettes. 11 year olds don't need to wear like a tailored coat or like a tailored pair of dress pants. I feel like when you're young, you know, oftentimes you're wearing simple silhouettes, right? That's easy for parents to. To buy for their kids, easy for young adults to pick out for themselves. And I'm not saying tailored as in, like, tailored pieces that were taken to a tailor to professionally hem and cinch and blah, blah, blah. I mean, pieces that have more complex tailoring that caters to the body shape more. When I think of mature clothing, I think of a thoughtful color palette. Not necessarily a dull or neutral color palette, but colors that make sense together, colors that complement each other. I think that you can have a mature style that is bright and colorful and exciting, but I think the difference between a mature color palette and an immature color palette is the thoughtfulness and the balance that goes into the outfit. Like when you're, I don't know, 14 years old, you'll put like a bright pink pair of pants on with, like, white T shirt that has a massive, like, rainbow graphic on it, and you'll wear, like, blue shoes. And it's just like a. I don't know, you'll just do random shit because you're a kid and you don't. Your taste isn't developed yet. You'll just put a bunch of fun, bright things together and call it a day because you don't know any better. The older you get, the more that feels uneducated and it. It feels more immature. I think mature clothing is often more refined and timeless. Not necessarily more simple, but less busy, less chaotic, less graphic. Heavy pattern heavy. I mean, I guess sometimes, you know, there's mature clothing that has patterns, but it's more refined, it's more timeless. Maybe the intrigue is in subtle details rather than like a bright graphic of like a dog on the T shirt or, I don't know, some sort of glittery decal. You know, instead of that, it's. It's more simple, right? Like perhaps a classic pattern, like stripes, perhaps a simple white shirt that has beautiful ruffly sleeves and ties on the front and maybe some button details like the. The intrigue is still there, but it's in a much more refined, timeless way. And then last but not least, I think mature clothing is more tailored. You know, instead of simple silhouettes, like a simple pair of jeans, a simple T shirt. When I think of mature clothing, I think of the perfect T shirt. I think of a really beautifully fitting pair of jeans. I think of, you know, gorgeous boxy coat with like, you know, big shoulders. Or a beautiful pair of pants that are perfectly tight around the waist, in the, in the thighs, but maybe have like a nice flare, like a bit more shape. That's kind of how I separate immature versus mature. But that can be a really helpful step in this process. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. If you've ever wanted to create a website but didn't know where to start, Squarespace is your answer. Their design intelligence tool blends AI and expert design to help you create a site that's functional, unique, and totally your vibe. Go to squarespace.com emma for a free trial and when you're ready to Launch, use code EMMA to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This is an ad by BetterHelp. Having someone you can talk to about anything can make all the difference. When I need to vent or I need advice or I just want to chat about life, I. I have a lot of wonderful people I can call. I can call my parents, I can call my friends. But sometimes you want to talk to somebody who isn't involved in your personal life. Doesn't have any bias. And that's where therapy comes in. Therapists are trained to give you tools to improve your quality of life. You can get help for clinical issues like anxiety and depression that keep persisting. You can learn positive coping skills. Learn how to be kinder to yourself. BetterHelp can match you with a credentialed therapist and they have over 10 years of experience in an industry leading match fulfillment rate, which means they typically get it right the first time. You don't even need to go to an office. Everything is online and you can switch therapists at no extra cost if that first match isn't working out. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Find the one with better help our listeners get 10% off their first month@betterhelp.com anything that's better h e l p.com anything now when it comes to building a more mature wardrobe, that's also a personal journey. But I have some tips. Number one, I think until you've built out a mature wardrobe, stick to the basic pieces that you have in your closet. The most timeless, the most simple stuff that you have. T shirts, jeans, plain pants. The easiest way to mature your style is to simplify your style until you have the time to find those pieces that are interesting but also mature. I think simplicity is a great first step. Almost everybody has simple pieces in their closet, even if you have an immature collection of clothing. And by the way, immature is often used as an insult, but I'm not using it as an insult here. It's like more of just like a fact, like young style, juvenile style. But immature is just rolling off the tongue for me. So that's what I'm, that's why I'm saying it. But I think the first step in the right direction without even having to buy anything, is to just start wearing your more simple pieces. And I know that that can sometimes feel boring. But if you're excited about the idea of maturing your style, I think this can be a wonderful first step. The next step, I would say, would be to analyze your current immature wardrobe to figure out what colors and shapes you already know that you like. Because it's not a good idea to go out and just start shopping. You want to kind of get a plan. I wish I would have done this when I was younger. I wish I would have thought more about my personal style as an adult before going out and shopping for myself as an adult. But I didn't. I don't know. I didn't even think to do that. And if I could go back. I. I would. So I would say the first step in trying to figure out who you are as a mature, stylish person would be to look at what you already like. Like, what's your favorite shirt? Maybe it's a super bright blue sweater that has, like, a dog on it. And there's like. And the dog has, like, a rainbow on it. Whatever. Okay, well, now you know that you like crew neck sweaters and you like the color blue on you. You know, let's say your favorite pair of pants is like a pair of bedazzled flare jeans, like the Miss Me jeans, or like, true religion type jeans. Like, maybe that's your favorite pair of pants. Well, now you know that you like, you know, flare, like pants that flare. You like the way that they look on you. I don't know. Analyze what you already have and what you think looks good on you and start to get an understanding of. Of what you like. But then from there, go on Pinterest. In this episode, I'm going to be telling you to go on Pinterest a lot, but I think it's really helpful to make a Pinterest board some sort of collection of images. You don't necessarily have to go on Pinterest. You could buy magazines and cut pictures out. You could go on Google images. You could read a fashion book. Like, make a board of stuff that you like. I think when you're making a board for inspiration, you don't necessarily need to, like, make every single thing you add to your mood board perfect. I think just having a defined board of what you like is good enough. And then from there, you can analyze what you've added to your board and then go from there. You know what I'm saying? Because I don't think the right idea is to make a mood board and then buy everything you put on the mood board. A mood board is. Is the most helpful. Not really for, like, exact things that are on it, but rather just a vibe, a feeling, a color palette. It's more for recognizing reoccurring themes, items, colors, vibes, et cetera. So once you've sort of analyzed your own closet and made some sort of mood board, then I think it's time to start shopping in person. But I don't mean actually shopping in person. I don't mean actually buying things necessarily. I mean just spending every other weekend or so going out and trying on clothes, Try new silhouettes you've never tried before, try on colors and be honest with yourself and start to learn about what you like on you now that you have a clear understanding of what you like not on you, and a little bit on you from what you, you know, used to wear when you were younger. Now it's time to figure out, okay, wait, what kind of mature clothes do I actually like on me? And I think experimenting in person, trying on clothes, touching clothes, is incredibly helpful. When you're in a new phase of your fashion journey, it's so important to experiment without commitment. Don't just start ordering stuff online. Go in person and try things on and really critically think about how you feel about the things that you're trying on. Does it feel like you. Does it look good on you? Ask yourself these questions and be honest with yourself. This is a journey that takes time. If you try to rush it, you'll end up with a closet full of stuff that doesn't feel like you. Or you'll end up with a closet full of stuff that maybe isn't perfect. Like, you end up with stuff that's kind of uncomfortable or maybe a little itchy. Like, if you try to rush the process, you'll end up with a wardrobe that you regret later. It needs to be a slow, experimental process. And in this process of sort of trying things on, experimenting, every once in a while, you might stumble upon a piece that's perfect. You're like, wait, this is so me. It fits perfectly. It's so comfortable. I love the way it. It feels. It matches the vibe of my mood board that I made. And it looks really good on me. Like, this is just great. This is perfect. I'm gonna get it. That's gonna happen every once in a while, but it's not gonna happen every time you go shopping. Like, it probably won't. And so your expectation should be, I'm just experimenting. I think going into shopping, you should have the mindset of, I'm just trying to figure out what looks good on me and is mature. And then you will end up finding good pieces as well. And then I think this journey continues for years. It's. It's not something that happens overnight. If. If this is something that is important to you and exciting to you, it's something that you're going to continue for the rest of your life, collecting pieces that are perfect and are you and feel mature. That's my. That's my suggestion. Moving on. Somebody said, how do I figure out what style looks good, good on me and feels like me? So we've already sort of discussed this with the last thing, but not. We didn't really get into it. Okay. Because this is its own sort of dilemma. When it comes to figuring out what looks good, There's a few things that you can do. Number one, look at photos of yourself and try on clothes that you already have and really analyze what looks good on you. It sounds so obvious, but. But, like, I can't tell you how many years it took for me to make the connection between what I like not on me, and what I like on me. I used to have so many pieces of clothing in my closet that looked genuinely terrible on me, but I bought them because I liked them off of me, you know? And I can't tell you how many times I've, like, put something on and looked in the mirror and been like, I don't know that this looks really good, but I like the outfit. So. So I guess I'll wear it. And then I've ended up being kind of disappointed. It took me a very long time to learn the practice of analyzing how something looks on me, being honest with myself about whether or not it's flattering. But I think it's a mindset shift of, like, realizing that just because you like something on a mannequin doesn't mean you're gonna like it on yourself. Just because you like something you saw on Pinterest doesn't mean you're gonna like it on yourself. And so I think trying clothes on in your closet, holding things up and seeing what colors look the best on you, looking at past photos and looking at what colors and silhouettes look the most flattering. I can't even tell you how long it took me to learn that, you know? And now I know what looks good on me, and I know what to avoid. I had this epiphany about it one day, as though it wasn't obvious. It's weird. We don't tend to think about clothing that way as much, especially in the age of the Internet, when, you know, we're taking inspiration from people we see on social media. We. We're making Pinterest boards. We're shopping online. A lot of our shopping in. In picking out of clothing is not really about how it looks and feels on us. It's about how it looks on others, how it's marketed to us. Do you know what I'm saying? And then when it comes to figuring out what feels like you, I would say, number one, again, make a mood board. It is so helpful. Now, I will say mood boards are composed of usually of somewhat trendy imagery, right? Like, a lot of the images we See, on Pinterest, on Instagram, in magazines, there's a lot of trendy stuff out there. But I still think it's really valuable to make a mood board, because then you can, as I mentioned earlier, start to pick up on patterns, colors that you're gravitating towards, silhouettes that you're gravitating towards, a vibe that you're gravitating towards. But then from there, there's a question of how do you personalize it? You know, how do you make it feel? You. Every time you put on an outfit, every time you're trying on a piece at a store, every time you're scrolling online and you find something that you. That you like, you need to ask yourself why you like it. Do you like it because you saw something similar on Pinterest and you thought it looked really good on. On that person, and you know, it's trendy and it's in and you'll fit in if you wear it, or do you like it because it feels like you. It's something that when you look at it, you're like, oh, that. That actually properly represents me as a person in a weird way. Now, it's hard because it's not that obvious what a piece of clothing is trying to say. Like, if you're wearing a band tee for your favorite band. Yeah, that obviously sends a message to other people that you like this band. But, like, a black and white striped sweater doesn't have an obvious message. Do you know what I'm saying? It's a black and white sweater. But to me, when I think of a black and white striped sweater, personally, I think of, like, creepy Tim Burton movies. I think of maybe a little bit punk, edgy, a little bit. Not a lot, but like a little bit. It feels kind of artsy to me, though, too. A little bit. Like, black and white stripes can feel, you know, a few different ways, but I could see it feeling any one of those vibes or say, like a classic pair of raw denim jeans. What does that say? I mean, they're classic. They're timeless. They're also sophisticated in the way that they're raw denim and they're very sharp and they're not worn in. And, you know, they're very sort of. They're an elegant sort of pair of pants. There's something about a pair of raw denim pants that feels like going to the library. I don't know why. You know, whatever. When I. When I. These are just examples of how I perceive clothing and what they say to me. When you're shopping, you know, when you're putting together an outfit, you need to ask yourself, does what the clothing say align with you as a person? Or do you just like it because it's trendy and because other people are wearing it and because it's like the cool thing to have right now? You know, does it actually, is there some sort of personal connection with how this particular pair of clothing reads with you or no. And I think once you look at clothing in that sort of way, you can begin to recognize what feels like you and what doesn't. But that's sort of a sixth sense that I think you develop over time. The more you think about clothing and style and fashion, I think the more that you get into it, the more that sixth sense sort of strengthens. This episode is brought to you by Cozy. Getting your home to not just look right, but also feel right is so important. I think what I love most about my home is how there are so many little details around the house that bring me so much joy. One place that I hang out a lot is my couch. I take naps on there. I get a bunch of work done on there. When I'm shopping for a piece of furniture or home furnishing, I'm looking for something that's comfortable for but also fun to look at. That's why you've got to love cozy. 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This episode is brought to you by ebay. We all have that piece. You know the one, the thing that's so you. You've basically become known for it and if you don't have yours yet you'll find it on ebay. Let me put you on people. Ebay is where you'll find those. One of a kind. Can't stop researching. Stay up dreaming about pieces again and again. I'm talking about that Miu Miu off the Runway red leather bomber, that cousteau Barcelona top with the cowboy on it, or that fleece in the 2017 colorway. All of these finds are on ebay. They even offer millions of main character pieces backed by authenticity guarantee. Ebay is the place for pre loved in vintage fashion. EBay, things people love. Another tip would be to pay attention to what makes you feel the most confident. There's an undeniable link between wearing clothing that feels like you and confidence. You know, when I'm wearing an outfit that doesn't feel like me, which happens sometimes, like it happens to everybody, sometimes I'll put something together and I'll be like, oh, I really like this. And then maybe it doesn't feel fully like me. And I realize that, you know, few hours into wearing it, I'm like, this doesn't feel like me. That's fine. That's normal. That's a part of experimenting, right? But pay attention to what makes you feel the most confident, because I think what makes you feel the most confident is what feels the most you. Last but not least, I think it can be helpful to examine your personality and then connect your personality to clothing. Allow that to guide you in picking out clothing. Now, when I say personality, I obviously mean who you are. Are you shy? Are you introverted? Or are you outgoing and extroverted? Are you angsty or are you kind and soft and warm? You know, are you rebellious or are you a rule follower? Try to figure out which elements of yourself you feel the most confident about, you want to display the most. And then find clothing that feels like that. Like, if you're a rebel and that's something you're really proud of, then wear rebellious clothing. But beyond that, when it comes to analyzing your personality, also pay attention to the things that you like. What are your favorite movies? What's your favorite type of music to listen to? Pay attention to your taste in everything else. And again, let that guide you in finding clothes that feel like you. You know, if you really like pop music, right? Pop music tends to be light and bright. Maybe that means that your vibe is like a cute, simple dress. I don't fucking know. But you know what I'm saying? It's like, I think a lot of times our taste is pretty consistent, you know, and it all kind of makes sense together a lot of times, or there's through lines or whatever. And I think that can again, help guide you when it comes to shopping. Like, for me, for example, I can give a great example of how my taste in other things impacts my taste in clothing. Like, I personally love creepy animated movies. Like, I love Coraline. You know, I love the aesthetic of like the Nightmare Before Christmas and all of those different types of movies. Like, I love Tim Burton, Henry Selick vibes. I've always loved witchy, creepy, spooky stuff. And so more recently as I've sort of defined my personal style more, I've actually really gotten more into creepy dark colors. More sort of goth. Not Goth. Oh my God, people are gonna be like, you're not goth, you fucking idiot. And I'm not goth at all, but like more sort of gothic style things. Like, I've started to maybe sort of dabble there a little bit more. Wear darker colors, wear darker makeup, wear creepier sort of stuff. But on the other hand, I also really enjoy the movie Napoleon Dynamite. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. And that movie has a very like retro, bright, kind of kitschy sort of feel to it. I also love Wes Anderson movies in the aesthetic in Wes Anderson, which is also very bright, retro, kitschy. And so there are times when I love like a bright color blocked, classic sort of outfit. You know, the type of art that I like to look at kind of is similar to the type of movie I like to look at. You know, I like art that's maybe a bit creepy, a little bit weird, a little bit off kilter. I really love art like that. But I also like art that's really bright and kitschy too. But I also like art that can be kind of funny or like tongue in cheek even. I like rough art. Like art that's like. Like a rough sketch or like a cartoon. Like, I like stuff like that too. Anyway, but all of these things, if I were to look in my closet, it actually all kind of goes together. And again, this might seem so abstract that it's ridiculous, but I do think that there's a connection there. And I think when it comes to figuring out what feels like you, to analyze your taste in other things is really helpful because, you know, it can help guide you in the right direction with fashion. Okay, next, somebody said, how do I find my personal style and make sure I'm not just relying on trendy stuff? I want my clothes to feel unique to me. This is incredibly challenging because you Might think that something is so you, but it's actually just trendy and you like it. You know, it is very hard to figure out what you like because it feels like you and what you like because everybody else likes it. Like, it's one of the hardest things to do in fashion, I think. And it's. It's made even harder because sometimes things are trendy, but they also are genuinely you. A great example of that, I would say for me would be, like, flats, like flat shoes, not necessarily ballet flats. I don't really have any, like traditional classic ballet flats with the bow because those are maybe a little bit less my style, but like a flat shoe in general. Flats are very trendy right now. And I hadn't really been wearing flats prior to them becoming trendy, but because they became trendy, I realized there are types of flats that I never really even thought about integrating into my wardrobe. But now that they're trendy and there's so many different types of like, ballet flat adjacent shoes, I'm finding, oh, wait, there's actually ones out there that do feel like me. Maybe they're not a traditional ballet flat, but they're a flat shoe. And so I found myself within that trend. I have some flats. None of them are unique. They're all trendy. You can find so many people wearing them, But I am 100% confident that those are my style. Like, I will wear those forever. They're very me. And yes, I discovered them through a trend, but I really do genuinely believe that they are me. So, again, it's complicated because your, your judgment can become clouded by something being really popular. But I do have some tips, I would say, that can help with defining your own personal style so that you can strengthen your ability to. To figure out whether something's just trendy or if it's maybe trendy and it's something that feels like you. Number one, I would say take a break from the Internet. So slash, consuming fashion content. If you're really into it, take a break. Take like a month off. I know what you're thinking, Emma. That's unrealistic. No, it's not. You don't need to consume that kind of content. You don't need to go on social media, even if it's your job. Let's say you're a social media manager at a company. You still don't need to scroll. You can just post something and then leave. If you're really struggling with the pull of trends on the Internet, put it away. Take a break. Could be Two weeks, could be a month. Take a break. And instead consume fashion content that isn't current, isn't so trendy right now. Go to the library, get a fashion book. I don't even know if libraries still exist, but if they do, get, go get a fucking library card and go to the library. I mean, no, you don't need to do that. You could look up Runway outfits from 1995 and, like, scroll through. If you want fashion content, you can find a fashion book. You can sit at a cafe and people watch people walking by. Yes, that still might be trendy because it's current. However, the Internet is much more condensed and saturated with trends. Whereas in real life, if you sit at a cafe and you watch people walk by, you might see a few trendy people, but you're also going to see a lot of people who are not paying attention to what's in. They're doing their own thing. There's more people doing their own thing in the real world than online, I would argue, honestly, because the Internet, there's a lot to gain from being in style, whereas in real life there's. It's less important. And there's many more different types of people in real life and taking a break from the overload of fashion trends on the Internet and just consuming fashion in a more timeless sort of way, organically, on the street, in a fashion book with archival fashion in it. You know, looking at old Runway shows, I don't know, looking at old paparazzi photos, just looking at stuff that's not current for a little bit. And then start to see what calls out to you that maybe isn't in right now. And pay attention to that. See how picking out outfits changes for you. When you don't have the influence of current trends in your mind, you'll notice that. You'll think about fashion differently and see what you learn in that experience. I think that can, again, just really help strengthen your sense of what you like. If you're somebody who's consuming a lot of Internet trendy content, you know, another tip I have is to shop at stores that are not curated. Vintage stores, thrift stores, online resellers, you know, ebay, shit like that. When a store is not curated, when it's just a bunch of random stuff, you're forced to think for yourself. You're forced to pick something out that feels genuinely like you. Because when you're shopping at a trendy store, the trends are just handed to you. You don't even have to think when you're shopping in A vintage store. At a thrift store, nothing is being handed to you on a silver platter. And that experience will again force you to figure out what feels like you. Because you're faced with so many different options, the only way to narrow things down is to figure out what you genuinely like. You're not being told what to like in a thrift store. You're being told what to like when you're at the mall. Next, I would say focus on shopping for things that feel personal to you. I already mentioned this earlier. I think it can be really helpful to look for things that have some sort of personal connection to you, and it doesn't need to be some sort of obvious connection to you. Right? Like, an obvious connection to you would be buying a T shirt that has the state that you were born in. Buying a California shirt, even more specifically, buying a San Francisco shirt would be incredibly personal to me. Now, listen, you can, like, it's a great idea to buy things that are personal like that, but that's obviously a very specific type of item. I'm talking about buying things that are personal to you in a more abstract way that only really makes sense to you. So a good example of that would be, instead of buying a skirt just because you're like, oh, I think that's cute, and it, like, looks good on me, try to find a skirt that reminds you of something, that feels almost nostalgic to you, that you almost feel attached to. Perhaps because it reminds you of a skirt that your sister used to wear, perhaps because it reminds you of your favorite movie, perhaps because the colors and the patterns on it make you feel the same way that your favorite song makes you feel. Now I know again what you're thinking, Emma. This is so abstract. What the fuck are you talking about? Maybe I'm alone in this, but I will literally look at a piece of clothing and be like, oh, that reminds me of my favorite movie, Coraline. Or, oh, that shirt reminds me of. Of my grandma, what she used to wear when she would go on the family's yearly vacation to Cape Cod. And I've seen photos of her wearing, you know, a shirt like this as often as you can. Finding pieces that have some sort of abstract meaning to you is a good sign that it's you. My next piece of advice would be to style your clothes based on your own personal instinct and intuition. Instead of copying how other people style their clothes. When you go into your closet, try your best to, like, erase everything you've ever seen and just put something together that. That Makes sense to you. Listen, we can never forget the fashion influence that we've consumed our entire life. Like, and I don't think we should, because I do think that that's actually educational and interesting and helpful. But I think if you're somebody who consumes a lot of trendy content online, you're going to have no problem, like, remembering what other people. It makes more sense to make the active decision to try to shut it out. Because even if you're shutting it out, there's still going to be a little bit left in there. You know, you're not going into your closet forgetting, like, where your pants go. Like, oh, do I put these on my arms like you do? You get what I'm saying? But instead, you're just trying to go in with a fresh, like, perspective, not with a plan in mind of, like, oh, I saw this person doing this. Like, I'm gonna try to do it. Think of yourself as a blank canvas and every single piece of clothing in your closet as, like, a raw material, and it could turn into anything you want it to turn into. You know what I'm saying? And last but not least, if you really want to lean into your personal style and you want to avoid trends, you have to be okay with being a little different. The entire ethos of the concept of personal style is that it's unique to you. And if something's unique to you, that means that no one else is doing it. And if no one else is doing it, then that means what you're doing is maybe a little bit weird. There are certain things about my personal style at this point that people don't like. They don't understand. They don't. They don't get it. They hate it. I obviously post a lot of my outfits on my Instagram, and there are times when I can think of one particular outfit I posted on my Instagram that I loved, and people were like, this is the ugliest, weirdest outfit I've ever seen in my life. Emma thought she fudgeing ate with this. Well, she was wrong. Guess what? That outfit was my personal style. I like it. It made sense to me. That's why I wore it. It made me feel confident. It felt like me. I like it. I wore it. It's on my Instagram. People hated it. I like it. And I stand by that to this day. I don't care that people don't like it. If everybody liked every single outfit I wore, that would mean that I'm probably pretty trendy. I'm not really doing anything different. I'm not doing anything unique. To me, personal style is actually kind of marching to the beat of your own drum. And so not everyone's going to like it all the time. It's going to be weird to some people. Sometimes you have to not get offended by that. It's so much easier emotionally to follow trends. But see, the reward, though, of having personal style is that there are gonna be times when you put something together that people are like, whoa, that's so cool. I would have never thought of that. It can be incredibly inspiring to others. It might not make sense to others. Could go either way, and you have to be okay with that. So my last tip would be let go of the fear. This episode is brought to you by Panda Express. There are a lot of ways to say I love you. You can write a song, recite a poem, or just, you know, verbally say I love you. Or you could say it with delicious wok fired food. So take your friends, family, or hopeful romantic partner to Panda Express and say it with menu favorites like orange chicken, broccoli, beef or honey walnut shrimp. Or if they're vegetarian like me, the chow mein and super greens are great options too. Panda Express. Have you eaten yet? Order now or find your nearest store@pandaexpress.com this episode is brought to you by Mentos Gum. I think we can all agree that keeping things fresh is a must. Of course, you've got to keep your breath fresh, but don't stop there. You can also freshen up the mundane moments in your daily routine. So pop some Mentos gum and maybe put a little extra effort into your outfit today. Or try a new workout class. Or order something different at your local coffee shop today. Refresh the everyday with Mentos gum. Available in a range of fresh flavors like spearmint fresh mint and strawberry. Mentos gum. Yes to fresh. Next. Somebody said how to find your style when you can't spend a lot of money on clothes. When I was 15, 16, I really started to get into fashion, whereas prior to that I was into fashion, but I was very much wearing what everybody else was wearing at school. I was wearing the, the leggings and the ugg boot and the skinny jean jegging and the little mini shorts and the graphic Hollister tank tops. Like, I was just, I was not reinventing the wheel, okay? I was like really following the trends to a T at that time. And then I turned 15 or 16 and I started to want to do my own thing. And the way that I did, it was number one. Research. Pinterest was. So I keep bringing up Pinterest. This is not a Pinterest advertisement, even though I have done a Pinterest advertisement before. But not. This is not that. Okay? It's not. I just love it. Well, that's why I did. That's why I did the ad with them, because I love them so much. I did a lot of research. I was on Pinterest. I was making boards. I was figuring out what I liked. And that's free. Sort of exposing yourself to fashion, compiling mood boards. All of that is free, especially if you do it on Pinterest. If you want to buy magazines and stuff like that, that's maybe a little bit more expensive. If you want to buy books, it's a little bit more expensive. You could still go to the library. If you have a library card, get a fashion book out, get five of them out, whatever, and just start looking. But exposing yourself to fashion is very important to finding your personal style. But that only really takes you so far. There's the element of what do you like on you, and how do you build a wardrobe with those things? If you don't have a lot of money to spend on clothes, I mentioned this earlier, but go shopping and try things on. Try things on. Don't have to buy them. Just educate yourself on what you like, what looks good on you, what materials you like, what fits you like, what silhouettes you like. Figure it out, and then thrift store it up. That is, When I was 15, 16, I did not have a lot of money to spend on clothes. I could go to the thrift store. I mean, I know thrifting has become like. And some people even blame me for this, but, like, thrifting has become trendy in itself. And now, you know, the quality of what's in the thrift stores has apparently gone down. Also, thrift store prices have gone up because it's becoming trendy. So I know that it's not what it used to be, where you could, like, go into a thrift store and find, like, really nice stuff. And, like, it's. It's becoming complicated. You know, people are thrifting and they're buying stuff and they're reselling it. Like, it's a very different time now than it used to be. I'm very aware of that. But I still go into thrift stores and just pop around for fun sometimes. It's. It's a dig. You got to dig, you got to look, but you can still get incredible deals and find incredible things. I know it's possible. I think that learn the learnings from making mood boards and trying on clothes in stores can help you sort of figure out what you're looking for. But I also think too, when thrift shopping, it's very important to keep an open mind. Like, you might find a pair of jeans that are super your style, but maybe, maybe they're a little bit too long. Maybe they are a little bit baggy. Fuck it. Not everything's going to be perfect in a thrift store. Sometimes you have to kind of, I don't know, you have to like, augment things. I used to like, cut the bottoms off of my jeans or like, you know, tie the back with a shoelace if like the pants were too big. But I really liked them. Like, there's things you can do. You sometimes have to get creative because there's not a bunch of sizes in the thrift store. Like, it's, it's, it's a free for all. But that's what I used to do. And I really do feel like I was able to experiment a lot more because I could get a lot more for my money and. But I did also have to get a little bit more creative to make things, say, fit properly or make things the vibe I want them to be. Like, I would crop things, or I'd cut the sleeves off, or I'd. You know what I mean? Or I'd add a button or I. You know, if you really are dedicated to finding your personal style, and if your grandma or somebody has a sewing machine, it could be really fun to go to the thrift store, find cool stuff, and then make tweaks to it with a sewing machine. That could be really cool. And last but not least, somebody said, what is the best way to decide if I should donate something or if I should not donate something? I can never tell if it will come in handy later or not. This is tough. There's always an argument for how something could come in handy later. Like, oh, this could be perfect for a Halloween costume. Oh, this might like, become trendy again later down the line or like, whatever. There's always some sort of excuse. But I think when deciding whether to donate something that is not getting proper use or where, I would recommend asking yourself a few questions. Number one, is it versatile? Can it be worn with a bunch of things? Is there a chance that down the line it might be more your style and it'll be able to seamlessly fit into your closet in a way where you can pair it with a bunch of different things or Is it something so hyper specific that you only can really wear it like once or twice a year because it's so specific, it's just impossible to style. If it's something very hard to style, perhaps that's a donate. Next question to ask. Is it comfortable? If it's uncomfortable, I almost always say donate. Unless it could be somehow tailored or augmented in some way to be more comfortable. If something's uncomfortable, get rid of it. Everybody's different. Some people, like, if. If a particular shirt has like really tight armpits or something, or the material's itchy to you, it might not be itchy or tight on somebody else. So somebody else is going to enjoy it more than you. You know what I'm saying? Discomfort is. No, no, no, no, no. Next, ask yourself if it's timeless. Like, a great example would be, I kind of stopped wearing my Doc Martin tassel loafers for a bit. Those were like a go to shoe for me for years. And I kind of stopped wearing them. And I was like, oh, should I donate these? Like, I really don't wear them anymore. But I was like, you know what? This is a timeless shoe. I will want to wear these again. I'm sick of them right now, but I will want to wear them again. So I decided to keep them. And I just recently I had them in my garage for a little bit and I just recently brought them out of the garage. If it's timeless, I think it's always a keep. If you determine that it's trendy, you then need to determine if it feels like you. Does it feel like you? You might not really be into the thing at the moment, but if it feels like you, there's a chance you might like it again later. Because ideally we can rediscover pieces in our closet later and like, fall in love with them again. That absolutely can happen. But if the odds are stacked against the piece and there's a really low likelihood that it'll ever be a staple in your closet, I think you might as well get rid of it and let somebody else enjoy it who can, like, really enjoy it, you know? That's it. That's all I have for today. I hope you all enjoyed this episode. If you did. New episode of Advice Session every other Sunday and new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. So tune in, come hang out if you want. I'm here. I'm always here. So, you know, just know that I'm here. Okay? You can stream Anything Goes anywhere. You get podcasts, although if you want to watch a video that is only on YouTube and Spotify. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on the Internet and some places at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is in the world and on the Internet. Amberlincoffee I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's always a pleasure to hang out and give you advice as well that you don't need to take, but you can if you want. I'll talk to you all very soon. I love you. I appreciate you. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. Okay, bye.