anything goes with emma chamberlain
Episode: existential crisis, advice session
Release Date: October 12, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode of Advice Session on "anything goes" centers around the theme of existential crises—periods of deep questioning about the meaning and purpose of life. Emma Chamberlain responds to listener questions about feeling lost, uncertain, and anxious regarding love, purpose, direction, and major life decisions. With her signature candid, relatable style, Emma reassures listeners that existential questioning is a normal, even necessary part of personal growth and offers unfiltered thoughts and advice on navigating these turbulent moments.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. What is an Existential Crisis? ([00:00])
- Emma defines existential crisis as, “a period of profound questioning about life’s meaning, purpose, and one’s own identity, often triggered by major life transitions or losses… characterized by inner conflict, anxiety, and a feeling of meaninglessness leading to distress and despair. These crises… can be opportunities for growth.”
- She admits to having experienced many herself and assures listeners they are “an inevitable human experience.”
2. Fear of Falling in Love ([04:26])
Listener Q: “Why am I terrified to fall in love? Is this normal?”
- Emma affirms that it's “incredibly normal,” calling falling in love “one of the most vulnerable experiences of our entire life.”
- She distinguishes romantic love from other forms by highlighting its emotional, physical, and sexual vulnerability.
- Memorable Metaphor:
- “Vulnerability is like being naked…if you’re not wearing clothes… you’re exposed. You can get hurt more easily.” ([08:24])
- She initially goes for the metaphor of “being cut open” but awkwardly pivots, laughing at herself.
- Advice:
- “Anything worth doing is frightening. The most fulfilling things in life are a little bit frightening.” ([07:05])
- Encourage fear to make you picky—“Let it make you critical about who you’re going to fall in love with… there’s nothing wrong with being picky. I think that’s a superpower.” ([11:10])
- Warns against swinging to extremes in pickiness: “You don’t want to be too choosy because then you end up with expectations so high that no one can reach them.” ([13:02])
- “You’re dealing with the most vulnerable act that you could possibly do with another human being that you can’t fully predict the actions of. You’re taking a risk.” ([13:45])
- Concludes: “Don’t let it stop you, but let it make you picky.”
3. Pressure to Do Something Important with Your Life ([17:07])
Listener Q: “I have a vision for my life that I’m going to do something really important for the world, but I don’t know what it is. How do I learn to feel okay with just existing?”
- Emma emphasizes the underestimated power of “the little things”:
- “We all think of positive impact in the world as curing diseases…but that’s not everybody’s journey… the small stuff is just as valuable.” ([18:10])
- “Just smiling at somebody, a stranger, can make somebody’s day… helping somebody carry their groceries to their car can make somebody’s day.” ([18:00])
- Insight: The internet age has created massive pressure for visible, “big” achievements, undermining the value of everyday kindness.
- “Doing your part, being as good of a person as you possibly can, in trying to provide value to the world in whatever way makes the most sense for you in this very moment is the most that you can do and is enough.” ([18:54])
- Advice:
- “Focus on the small little things you can do right now that make the world a better place and put some value into those things… Stop undermining that.” ([21:40])
- “A life of kindness and warmth and positivity… over a 5 year, 10 year period is equivalent to doing one big thing.” ([22:37])
4. Do You Need to Know the Meaning of Your Life Early? ([24:00])
Listener Q: “Do I need to know the meaning of my life from an early age? Do these things develop over time? I’m anxious for answers.”
- Emma: “You definitely don’t need to know the meaning of your life from an early age. And I absolutely think that these things develop over time.”
- She contrasts forced searching with organic discovery:
- “I think a lot of times our purpose is much more subtle. It whispers for our attention. It doesn’t scream.” ([25:20])
- “When we put pressure on figuring out what it is, it actually leads us further away from what our purpose really is in life.” ([24:25])
- Emma shares her personal purpose discovery:
- “I feel like one of my purposes in life is to bring comfort to people. That’s it. It’s that simple.” ([26:34])
- “Even if I was not on the Internet, I would be doing the same thing privately on a smaller scale, and it would be equally as meaningful.” ([27:54])
- Advice:
- “Let it go and stop trying to chase answers. Let it come to you through living a genuine, authentic life.” ([30:00])
- Ends with humility: “I don’t even know if anyone knows their meaning in this life with 1000% confidence right now.” ([30:57])
5. How Do You Figure Out Who You Want to Be? ([33:16])
Listener Q: “How do I figure out who I want to be in life?”
- Emma suggests two approaches:
- “Look to people that you admire … and acknowledge the traits that they have that you think are the most wonderful and figure out ways to incorporate their wonderfulness into your own personality.” ([33:46])
- “Think about your priorities and your values in your life. What do you want to prioritize…and then become the type of person that can abide by those values and priorities.”
- “It’s kind of foolproof. You’re learning from people you admire, and you’re abiding by a set of morals and values and priorities—how could you go wrong?” ([34:56])
6. Should I Go Back to School, Start a New Career, or Travel? ([35:08])
Listener Q: “I don’t know if I should go back to school, start a new career, or just travel and enjoy my twenties. What do you think?”
- Emma discusses the tension between fun/adventure and responsibility/future planning.
- “It’s about striking a balance between fulfillment and enjoyment and fun, but also responsibility and delayed gratification.” ([35:36])
- Practical advice:
- “Ask yourself, what choice is going to lead you closer to living the life you want to live in 10 years?” ([36:09])
- “Make a pros and cons list. I’m not even kidding. Get out a piece of paper and make a pros and cons list for every single option.” ([37:50])
- “No matter what you choose, you’ll be okay…If you go in one direction and then hate it, it’s not like the other two roads you could have gone are now closed.” ([40:07])
- “Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make the perfect right decision the first time. Be prepared to potentially pivot.” ([41:25])
7. Did I Make the Right Decision Moving Out of State for College? ([42:40])
Listener Q: “I went out of state for college, but I’m struggling to know if that was the right decision.”
- Emma: “I don’t really know that I believe in right or wrong decisions, to be honest.”
- She reframes the question:
- “It’s not really about if you made the right or wrong decision…it’s about figuring out what you want to do tomorrow.” ([43:07])
- “Focusing on whether or not you made the right decision is sort of degrading to yourself… For whatever reason, the universe, fate, whatever you believe in… you were supposed to be here at this very moment.” ([44:40])
- Advice:
- “Live in the moment, focus on the present, and find empowerment in the fact that you have control over tomorrow.” ([45:12])
- “Forget all the shit in the past and focus on tomorrow.” ([45:27])
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On vulnerability in love:
- “Vulnerability is like being naked… you can get hurt more easily.” ([08:24])
- On chasing your purpose:
- “Our purpose is much more subtle. It whispers for our attention. It doesn’t scream.” ([25:20])
- On doing good in the world:
- “The little things can compile into something big. Maybe your purpose is to be a light for people… in a small way, but it can make such a big impact.” ([22:57])
- On regret and decision-making:
- “No matter what you choose, you’ll be okay… The road always exists.” ([40:07])
Useful Timestamps
- [00:00] — Introduction to existential crises
- [04:26] — Fear of falling in love
- [17:07] — Pressure to have a “big” purpose
- [24:00] — Meaning and purpose develop over time
- [33:16] — Figuring out who you want to be
- [35:08] — Weighing school vs. career vs. travel
- [42:40] — Right vs. wrong decisions about college
Tone and Style
The episode is spacious, honest, and unpretentious. Emma is warm, self-deprecating, and reassuring—willing to be vulnerable and uncertain herself. She offers advice not from a place of expertise, but relatability: “I don’t even know if anyone knows their meaning in this life with 1000% confidence right now” ([30:57]).
Summary
This episode of anything goes is a comforting exploration of life’s biggest uncertainties, highlighting that existential doubt is universal and surmountable. Emma’s advice always circles back to being gentle with oneself, letting answers unfold organically, and finding value in daily kindness, authenticity, and self-forgiveness. If you’re lost, anxious, or worried about your path, Emma’s words will remind you: “You don’t have to have it all figured out—the little things count, trust your process, and it’s okay to pivot along the way.”