Emma Chamberlain (9:26)
I try to get as much work done as I possibly can can so that when I return, I have a bit more wiggle room, I have a bit more space to recover, and I'm not returning to like a to do list. That is daunting. And this is helpful for two reasons. Number one, because I'm able to fully enjoy my escape and I'm not stressed about what I'm returning to which we'll talk more about that in a minute. But that's one reason why it's helpful, but also because. Because I know myself and if I return to an overwhelming checklist of things to do, I'm going to end up feeling frozen by the stress of that and I'll actually get less done. Like I'll return and be less productive because that pressure and that stress of that to do list will overwhelm me to a point where I literally can't do anything. I'm frozen in time. Another way that I plan is I try to plan my escape in such a way when possible, where I can maybe have a day off before I get back to my normal routine. Like, for example, let's say I'm planning a weekend trip with friends. I might plan to get back Sunday morning So I can have that whole day on Sunday to relax, enjoy the rest of the weekend at home, re acclimate so that on Monday I can get back to it. Now if that's not possible in say, my escape ends on a Sunday and I got, I gotta go back to work on Monday, I might plan a really light workday for that Monday if possible. Now again, depending on your, on your school or your job, like this might not always be possible, but I try my best to plan a day of chill at least before I go back to my life, you know. Cause it really is helpful to have a day to re acclimate. And I also try to figure out what I'm going to work on on that first week that I return so that I have sort of an understanding of what I'm returning to before I even leave. Like, I already know when I get back. On the first day I'm gonna record a podcast and then I'm going to go grocery shopping and then I'm going to like, I like to know exactly what I'm returning to so that I feel prepared and I'm not returning to a bunch of question marks. You know, there's something nice about knowing what you're returning to before you even leave. You just feel more prepared psychologically. You don't feel like you're returning to chaos, you're returning to control. You know exactly what you're coming back to. And there's something about that that again, not only allows you to fully escape, but also it's in your subconscious. You've planted a seed. So when you get back, it's much easier to get right into things because you already know what you're getting back into and you've known that since before you left. Now my next step is to fully enjoy the escape. Okay, now this is something that's kind of hard for me because I have a tendency to like, try to combine my work life and my time off. Because as many people in my life call me, I'm very much a workaholic type of person where I'm like, every moment I have free, I'm like, well, I might as well use this to work on this thing that I, you know, I have a tendency to try to optimize my time. Like, I'm very particular about how I spend my time and I'm very type A and I like to use every moment wisely. And so it can be very challenging for me to fully escape. But it's so important because if you don't use the time that you're escaping wisely. If you don't use your time off wisely, then you're not recharging, and that's actually a shame and is technically less productive. We need to recharge in order to go back to work and go back to reality and our responsibilities with vigor and excitement and motivation. We have to recharge. It's so important. And listen, sometimes we need to recharge and we can't. That's just reality that sucks. But whenever we get the chance to escape, I think it's best used in full, like, lean into it, Turn the work side, the reality side of your brain off and just enjoy the peace and the fun and the lightheartedness. I think that's what makes inescape most productive, which sounds counterintuitive, especially to the workaholic like me, who's like, well, but if you can get something done while you're escaping, then, you know, that's actually even more productive. But I actually, through life experience, have realized that is not the case, like, at all. Because what ends up happening is when you return to reality, you end up no more rested than you were when you left. And so you return, and you're actually even more sluggish than you were before. Because this transition back to reality is even more painful because you. You expect to feel a sense of. Of invigoration and excitement to be back, and then you don't, and it's disappointing. And you're like, wait, I wasted my time when I should have been enjoying my break, but instead I used it to work, and now I have to get back to work, and I'm exhausted and I'm not recharged at all. And so I think it's really important to. To allow yourself to truly enjoy it and truly escape. I really, really try to force myself to compartmentalize and let my escape be an escape and let my work life be my work life. There are rare occasions where, you know, I might get an idea for a podcast episode, and I'm really, really inspired, and I really want to write it down and start working on it. Like, sure. You know, there might be a moment where I'm. I'm on vacation and I have a video idea, and I always bring cameras with me, and maybe I want to film a YouTube video, but again, that's only when I'm so inspired that I, like, literally can't hold it in. I have really worked hard over the years to establish a balance and truly compartmentalize, and I really think it helps with the return because you return with more energy, you know, again, is it still going to be uncomfortable? Yes. But if you allow it to be as much of an escape as possible, you can come back with at least a little bit more energy. But also too, there's more to life than productivity. And not everyone needs to hear that. Some people have a good grasp on that. I'm somebody that needs to hear that. I am toxically, if that's even a word, at times obsessed with being productive and getting things done. And it, it is a good thing sometimes and a really harmful thing at other times. It's beneficial when I have the energy to perform at that level. But then eventually, if I continue performing at that level with no break, no escape, no nothing, I burn out. And I burn out bad. And it's really hard to get back up. And so I've really tried to get into the practice of remembering that there's more to life than being productive. There's more to life than, you know, checking off your to do list. Like, it's very important to enjoy vacation, to spend time with friends and family, to do something spontaneous every once in a while, even if it gets in the way of productivity sometimes. Actually, a great example of that just happened to me, to be honest. I got invited to go to Disneyland on a Monday. Literally this week. Actually, that happened this week. I got invited to go to Disneyland on a Monday. Now what was my immediate reaction? I can't do that. I have so much work I have to do. I can't do that. This is the type of type A person I am. I was like, there's no way I can swing that. There's no way. But then I had to remember, I can move things around. I can do this. And it's so much more important that I go and make memories with my friends at Disneyland. By the way, we never get to all do stuff like this together because everybody's so busy. This is so much more important than being productive for one day. Technically I can do this, so I should. And you know what I did? I successfully managed to compartmentalize in the entire day. Did not go on my phone. I did not get one work related thing done. Not one. I ate a churro, I had dole whip and I smiled and I went on roller coasters and it was great. Was the transition back from that. Oh my God, it was like a double whammy because I just got back from my trip and then a few days after getting back from my trip, I went to Disneyland and it was like oh, my God. This is like now. It was extra hard to return to reality from all that. But because I let myself fully enjoy those two experiences, I did come back with more energy than I would have otherwise. I did come back feeling a bit more recharged. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Squarespace. I've always believed that if you have an idea like something you really care about, you should own it, literally. With Squarespace, you can grab the domain name that feels like you and start building from there. No text stress, no random fees. Just your name, your vibe, your space online. Go to squarespace.com emma for a free trial. And when you're ready to Launch, use code EMMA to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Now back to the episode. Okay, next. Now we're back to reality. The fun is over. We're back to reality. What now? Well, the first thing that I try to do is focus on mindfulness. Focus on my mindset, my lens that I'm looking at my life and the world through. And I try to find something that I'm excited about in my routine. Could be something small or big. Perhaps I'm returning to something I'm excited to work on. Perhaps, you know, I'm just excited to sleep in my own bed if I was traveling. You know, Like, I try to find something that I'm looking forward to, and I also really try to focus on gratitude. Gratitude for my life, gratitude for the fact that I have something to work on when I get back. Gratitude is so important. And a lot of times gratitude is a choice because, I don't know, I feel like I have a tendency to. I don't think I'm necessarily a negative person. I'm definitely grateful, and I have gratitude on a daily basis, but I also have frustrations and anxieties and stresses, and I don't know, that can sometimes overpower my gratitude at times because I'm neither one or the other. I'm neither overwhelmingly positive or negative. I fall somewhere in the middle, which means that there are times where I can be negative and I can maybe not feel gratitude towards things that I could if I dug a little deeper. And so I really try to focus on my mindset, and I really try to choose a positive mindset, because I really do think that we can choose that to an extent, through just thinking smart, you know, like paying attention to the negative feelings and choosing to replace them with positive thoughts. And does that mean that it's gonna work? Seamlessly and perfectly. And the return to reality is going to be super comfy again. No, but a little bit of mindfulness can, can help. It's not going to fix everything, but it can alleviate the discomfort a little bit. The next thing that I like to do is plan my next moment of fun to have something to look forward to. It's so important for us as human beings to have things to look forward to. It's so important. And especially after you just came off of a fun time, it's so important to have something in the horizon that's exciting. Now that could be something small, like, oh, you know, maybe this month I'm going to try a new restaurant. You know, it could be, oh, this movie just came out this weekend. I'm going to go with my friends to go see this movie. Or I haven't seen my partner in a while, we're going to do date night this weekend. Or, you know what? Fuck it, I'm going to start planning my next vacation right now. Don't necessarily need to buy the plane tickets, but maybe start researching. It doesn't necessarily need to be something perfectly set in stone, but just having something vague on the horizon to look forward to is so important, I would say for me. I usually tend to stick to, like, smaller things in the near future. Even just getting excited about the upcoming weekend. You know, I'm somebody who tries to experience a little bit of escape every weekend. Now, some weekends don't really feel like an escape. They just feel like a routine weekend. So, like, going back to work and life after that is. Is pretty easy because it's what I do. You know, every weekend there are some weekends that are more exciting, that are even more of an escape, and then that's a bit harder. But even just looking forward to the weekend can be helpful. Just having something on the horizon that's exciting. I find that that gives me something to daydream about when I'm having a hard time and when I'm feeling stressed. It's like, okay, there is another light at the end of this tunnel. And a lot of times you won't even end up needing that light at the end of the tunnel as much. Once you get back into your routine and you get back into the flow of things, you might not even need it as much. But I think it is nice to have, and I find that it really helps me. The next thing I like to do is romanticize returning to my routine, like really lean in to the slightly indulgent, more enjoyable elements of my routine. Like for example, I like to take an everything shower after my escape. You know, I like to take a 20 minute shower where I shave and I exfoliate and I just let myself sit there and enjoy the warm water. Like I really just let myself enjoy a shower. And I like to get out and do my skincare routine, maybe do a mask, do the stuff that I don't always have the time to do when I'm in the sort of minutia of my routine. The stuff that I tend to neglect. I lean into that because it feels so good, you know, And I think making yourself feel good really helps with the transition. You know, I like to enjoy going to bed early, get into bed early, maybe, you know, watch something fun on the tv. Like really lean into getting back into a responsible routine. I like to romanticize going to the grocery store, put my headphones in, really take my time, perhaps find some fun recipes I want to make to get me excited about cooking for myself again. If I maybe wasn't cooking for myself during my escape, you know, during my break, perhaps set aside some time to really clean and organize my home so that it feels as wonderful as possible. Set some candles, open a window, like enjoy it. I really try to romanticize getting back into swing of things and I try to make it feel less like a chore, you know, because when you're on a break, a lot of times you're not cooking for yourself, you're not cleaning, you're not like, I don't know, you're not, you're not thinking about grooming yourself as much. Like you're just not thinking about this stuff, like you're escaping. It's like if you are doing these things, it's, it's in a fun way. Like if you are cooking, you're cooking with your family because it's Thanksgiving. Or you know, if you are grooming yourself, it's because you're getting ready for like a fun night out with friends and you're, you want to look hot with your friends and it's like fun. You're not getting in the shower because you know you're going to sit down and sit at your computer, you know what I'm saying? So it like feels more fun if you're cleaning up, it's because you're cleaning up your hotel room. It's fun. And so I think trying to romanticize it can make it feel like you're still on vacation in a way. Like setting aside the time to do that can be really helpful. Now I mentioned this Earlier. But once it's time to really get back into the swing of things, I think it can be really helpful to make your to do list the bare minimum. The bare minimum that you have to do. Because I'm setting myself up for success. If I do that, I know myself. I know that when I get back, I'm sluggish, I'm slow, my brain isn't working as efficiently as it usually does. I can't get as much done. And so if I am ambitious and, you know, put everything I have to do and more on my to do list, chances are I'm not gonna be able to accomplish all of it. And then I'm gonna get disappointed, and then I'm gonna be in a worse place. So by putting the bare minimum on my to do list, I have a higher chance of succeeding at checking everything off. And that is rewarding. That feeling of checking everything off and accomplishing everything I want to accomplish gives me a little hit of dopamine that inspires me to get back to work the next day. If I'm too ambitious and I can't complete all of it and I fail, I feel even more discouraged than I did before, you know, and so listen, obviously we can't always control what's on our to do list, but I think we can control putting the bare minimum on there. We can. And so that is what I try to do. I think keeping the goals simple and reasonable for the first few days to the first week back is the best way to do it. I also think too limiting social interactions can be really helpful. Maybe not for everyone, but for me, like, I find that I feel a social responsibility at times to, like, say yes to dinners with friends or, you know, say yes to a lunch meeting with like, a work, relax related person. But I know myself, and that sometimes can feel a little bit like work or a responsibility because it is kind of exhausting at times. Even if it's fun, it can. It's still kind of exhausting. So I will often limit those things when I get back so I can really fully focus all my energy on getting back into my routine. And then once I feel solidified, then I can go back out and be social again, you know, and find that balance again. But I think sometimes you just got to take things one step at a time, you know? This episode is brought to you by Cozy.
